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Phineas & Ferb: One Good Scare Ought To Do It
Reviewed: 01/18/2013
One Kiss With Isabella Should Seal The Deal...
YAY! We got through the first DVD set with little trouble; and now we start with the "Fast & Phineas" DVD set which contains episodes that were produced from the start. Not only that; this is officially my first 22 minute rant on the series (if you don't count Unfair Science Fair and it's "redux" version). This is episode #39 in broadcast order and #9 on the animation paper; as Phineas and Ferb create a haunted house to make Isabella stop hiccuping while Doofenshmirtz is trying to destroy his mentor's hideout and Candace wants to see Jermey but his sister Suzy is evil and hates Candace for goodness knows what reason. Just remember; this goes on for 22 minutes instead of the usual 11 minutes. So does this episode make the hiccuping grade; or will it be a bigger mess than ever before? Let's rant on shall we...?!
One Good Scare Ought To Do It is written by Jon Barry, Bobby Gaylor, Chris Headrick, and Martin Olson. Story editing for both episode are done by Martin Olson. Animation is done by Wang Films.
We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM as Candace's is talking in her room sitting on the left side of the bed on a cell phone that literally looks like a banana. Yeah; a banana. Yeap; she's completely lost it since the Mars Rover kicking incident. Anyhow; she has an "excuse notebook of lies" on the bed and she's calling because she "has a question" about an algebra assignment. So she "hangs" up and flips the page to "opening jokes" and then asks what does she get when you cross a yak and a martian. Answer: A yakking alien from...
Staci:
Don't say it.
Bradley: U....Never mind. This joke is dead
anyway.
Staci: Wow; just wow B-Man.
So Linda is standing in front of the open door and calls Candace honey; in which Candace confused her with Jeremy which is dumb because Jermey's voice is nothing like Linda. Candace snaps out of this and Linda informs us that she's going to her book club. Hopefully; the supervisor of the book club is not nearly the asshole that the cooking club chef was. Linda tells her that she has left a phone number for emergency purposes only on the fridge; and she also tells Candace to stop cutting bad promos with that banana all day. Okay; not exactly in those terms; but close enough. So we head to the backyard as Phineas has a white stick in his hands and wearing a Mexican hat as he sezs Ladies and Platypuses. So; no men in the audience? Geez; the demographics thinking of this show has a lot of gall. Anyhow; Phineas is introducing the latest party craze to sweep the nation which is the Mariachi Tree Band. Ooookkkkaayyyyy; that is different at least. I mean; there are worse Mexican stereotypes than this; even El Gato is worse than this. And yes; there are various Mexican stereotypes sitting in the tree playing Mariachi music. You know something; if you want to subvert this silliness; you could have an all fermale Mariachi band at least. Ferb is playing the trumpet on the top of the tree; but bends backwards and loses his balance and free falls. Logic break: The band is spread out so much that Ferb should not have been able to make most of the band topple on top of him and bury him like they manage to in this scene. And you know this is a careless logic break because the free falling took place all off-screen including the MAN-SIZED bump. The band gets up and walks off semi fuming as Phineas waves to them and apologizes for the trouble. He blames the chocolate milk for this; but I think it's because Ferb has no sense of balance and need to see Grin from Mighty Ducks. One of the band members is called Arturo which is Spanish for Arthur. So Isabella comes in and it's clear she cannot talk without hiccuping. Phineas points out the obvious for us and states that he'll help her cure them and then asks where Perry is. You know where this is going now don't ya?
So Perry is walking to the trash cans and puts on his hat. He dives into the left can and then pops out because he is filled with trash. He takes the right one and we get the tube slide not unlike in Baloo Thunder and he plops down in the chair in front of the monitor. We see Major Monogram on the screen as he informs us that Doofenshmirtz is on the move again. He vanished over the Atlantic Ocean which they were tracing his signal; and Monogram believes in magical elvies and angry corn people took him away. Perry is not amused by this as we discover a sattelite picture of an island on the exact spot that he vanished which has a house like hideout with the letter D craved on the side..and then Monogram catches himself. Yeah; you look so stupid there Major! See what I did there? Perry runs and gets in his rocket packed sled and drives through a sewer in a clear teleport; and yes folks, he gets the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM the full version. We get some footage of Perry using a remote control to make Doof bonk himself on the head with his Balbaras Z type robot and various other stuff as Monogram keeps yelling at the singer to call him Anget P and it ends with an airplane flying into the camera. Whatever; you only did this song because you need to pad the running time. So we return to the backyard as Phineas proclaims that he intends to scare the hiccups out of Isabella and asks what scares her. Isabella ponders it over and states that the state fair last year had a haunted house that made her scared; and Phineas sees his big idea. Phineas proclaims that he'll build the best haunted house ever as he does some spots involving zombies, werewolves and of course Medusa...Oh wait; that was Candace blowing off Phineas as she proclaims that they will be building a haunted house over her dead body (death reference #4 for the series). Phineas in roundabout terms proclaims that this could be arranged and Candace calls Phineas a psycho. What an asshole this Candace person is? He's only trying to help Isabella; what's wrong with that? Candace runs to the front door proclaiming that she's calling mom without using the banana this time and slams the door. HA!
Phineas and Ferb look confused as we see Candace in the kitchen going to the phone proclaiming that the boys are so BUSTED! I swear to god that the creators have read my rants and Candace's gimmick was part of it. Okay; maybe not. She dials the touch tone phone and she talks to someone because this is an emergency; and then she realizes that the book club is being held at Jermey's house (which is written as the phone number on the sheet of paper from the fridge) because we see Jermey talking on the phone in front of the room with white chairs where the book club is being held. Candace stammers like an idiot and then speaks Spanish and hangs up. Ooooooookkkkkaaayyyyyy; someone has issues and I have no idea if it's Candace or Linda at this point. So we head to the spike mountain islands complete with the biggest one having a steel hut with neon green windows and two sattelite dishes. Yes; this gets the jingle, but it would have been funnier if they said "Doofenshmirtz Evil's Hideout-shaped Island Incorporated!" instead. We see the airplane in the sky and then do a close up of Perry dropping from the plane with a red helmet and tail like wings ala Cubbi from Top Gum. So Perry lands on top of the hut and throws the wings and helmet away; replacing his hat. Then when we see him drop down into the hut and practicing the fine art of not being seen; he loses the straps on cue. So he braces himself behind a crate; and then he gets cuffed against it. Doof then comes out of nowhere and does this ultra funny sarcastic rant about being surprised that Perry found him; went through the access vent (which we never saw; but who cares?); got caught and then shows a lot of Doof's making various faces of surprise and sarcasm. So yeah; he shows pictures on an easel and points at them with a stick. So finally Doof gets to the point as this is not his secret hideout. It actually belonged to his mentor called Doctor Destruticon.
We see his picture as he looks like a red suited freak and seems to get his masks from the guy who created the Mask of Vulcan in The Mighty Hercules. Yeah; I really dated myself there; so shoot me. Strangely; he's supposed to look similar to Doctor Dementor in Kim Possible; but Doofenshmirtz looks nothing like Doctor Drakken; so why make a refernece to that Phineas wikia? His real first name is Kevin...probably from Canmore. We get B-level horror music and then Doof flicks his stick and apparently, the neon glass windows are so weak that it shatters glass. Oh COME ON! Stop trying to be Johnny Test Disney! Doofen gets all sad because his mentor Kevin got caught while doing this plan which involved setting the sun on fire and Doof gets the explosion jackhammer background. Pfffttt; whatever. So Kevin told Doof to set fire to the sun; which Doof points out the logical fallacy of this. Funny how Doofen is called the dumbest villain ever by critics; and yet he actually was smart enough to point out the problem with Kevin. So Doof goes over and out of nowhere we see a white cloth over something. Doof pulls the cloth to reveal the largest Gamecube DVD changer in all of captivity; as Doof calls it the Disintevaporator. I would call it the Gamecube Nintendator; but copyright prevents Disney from using that name....for the moment. It has 25 minutes 19 seconds remaining and I betcha Doof will rigg it up to cheat the device and make it faster. Doof coughs and we get B-level horror music playing again. Basically; Doof proclaims that Perry will be murdered by this device and cackles like a heel would. So then we cut to Candace on the phone dailing hoping this time to keep her composure. So she asks for Linda again; and if that is not possible, for someone to deliver the message to her.
We discover that there is a blond haired little girl wearing a purple dress/blue skirt and purple trimmed white shoes sitting on the green love seat. Her hair is curly with ribbons wrapped around the hair not unlike Molly's ribbon tied around her ears. I should also point out that her head is bigger than the rest of her body; ala Fairly Oddparents. She addresses herself as Suzy and the little sister of Jeremy and Candace tries to speak; but Suzy cuts her off and accuses her of wanting to talk to Jeremy as Candace blows her off. So Suzy uses the crinkle paper trick on the phone to make it like it's breaking up and Candace doesn't buy that Z-grade trick. Then she admits that she does want to speak to Jermey; which of course makes no sense and Suzy calls out for Jermey to answer the phone; but then warns Candace that Jermey is his favorite girl. So we have an incest relationship here huh? I betcha that if TaleSpin was ever remade; Kit and Molly would be a couple (much to the horror of Brendala and myself) because Kit and Molly are brother and sister in heart only; not of blood. So Jeremy takes the white courtesy phone and calls Candace as Candace stammers like a damn idiot. This is the kind of spot I do not like; but I have seen worse than this as Jeremy claims that she knows that Linda is here and Candace wants to ask a question. So Jermey basically tells her that the book club is having a coffee break and invites her to come over. Candace covers the phone with her hand and screams. Loudly. So loud that Phineas & Ferb can hear it outside at the driveway as a truck driver is holding a clipboard and Phineas is signing on the dotted line. I wonder how Phineas & Ferb are getting all this stuff without showing them having money. So we move on as Candace accepts and Jermey tells her to meet him in 20 minutes before hanging up. This causes Candace to do the faint spot we have seen a million times with the legs coming up which makes no sense at all. So we head back to Destructicon's hideout as Doof has a box of stuff and then we zoom out to see a purple space rocket with neon green glass as the front window.
Kevin apparently knows about closet space as Doof goes into his coat for keys; but there are none inside. We then get the logic break as the keys have somehow landed next to Perry's left. How? I have no idea. Perry covers the keys with his left foot as Doof looks around and cannot find them. Doof calls this awkward and asks Perry if he knows where the keys are and Perry nods his head. So Perry's willing to be honest; but refuses to say where they are? That's as silly as setting the sun on fire actually. Okay; maybe not as Doof accuses him of not being able to speak or being a jerk. Considering the track record of this show; it's both. So we head inside Candace's room as Candace is buried in clothes and such stuff because naturally; she has no idea what to wear in front of Jeremy. Outside the window in the background; we see Phineas bringing in a gilluotine. (Candace: MOM?! Phineas & Ferb are watching Victory Gundam again!) Ferb brings in a corpse under a sheet and then the knight suit of armor gets involved as Candace pops up and claims that she should be the Hollywood girl next door crossed with an old school glamor goddess. It's nice to know that "goddess" can be said in any context in DTVA; but "god" is apparently off limits. So Candace walks out wearing a blue helmet with red daises on the side; a white shirt with a daisy on it which looks like a cut short shirt; a green ribbon around her neck which extends down to her blue jeans; and brown shoes. She looks like a goofball; but Phineas is holding a head of THE CREATURE~ inside a jar of pickled liquid (something out of Futurama) while Ferb literally has an axe to grind. And he's grinding it. To whom; we'll never know, which is a good thing thank you. So Candace tells Phineas & Ferb that she's going to the Johnson's house for a while. Phineas informs her to tell Linda that some snakes got loose in the house. Candace has that look of shock and then the sheepish grin and then walks off asking about it. So Buford, Baljeet and all six of the Fireside girls arrive as their sashes seem to be switching shoulders between shots. You already met Holly and Gretchen (and their voices) before. However....
Katie is the blond one in the background and is voiced by Isabella Acres (!!!) and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Acres was born in Atlanta Georgia, where she discovered her love for acting in children's theater.[3] She then relocated to Los Angeles. Acres' little sister, Ava, is also an actress. Acres is best known for her series regular role as Rose Crisp on Better Off Ted,[4] the seven-year-old daughter of Ted (Jay Harrington) who is often the most mature person at his home and workplace. The show's first season finished in August 2009, with a second picked up for January 2010. Acres also appeared on an episode of Monk in 2007, and single episodes of The Mentalist where she plays Patrick Jane's (Simon Baker) daughter and on the hit television show Hannah Montana. Acres was nominated for Best Performance in a TV Series, Guest Starring Young Actress at the Young Artist Awards 2009 for her performance in The Mentalist. She currently can be seen in the recurring role of Soleil Friedman in the second season of the Fox television series Touch.[5] She began her career as Other Child in Monk in 2007. Special Agent Oso is her DTVA debut and is Jade in Sofia The First. The Spoils of Babylon (Young Cythina Morehouse), Friend Zone (Susie), and Sister (Johanna) are her most recent credits. She has 31 acting credits and one Self credit to her resume. Ginger Hirano is the Asian American girl who is looking at a shocked Baljeet and Sister of Stacey. She is voiced by Tiffany Epsensen (for this episode; in season three she'll be voiced by Michaela Zee which we'll get to when we cross that bridge in future DVD sets) and she began her career as Grease Money in Wheels on the Bus: Mango's Big Dog Parade in 2007 along with being Samantha in Hannah Montana and 1/2 Hour News Hour as Yao Tsing. Special Agent Oso is her DTVA debut as Joon Kim/Carina/Alyssa. She also is Piper in Bucker and Skinner's Epic Adventures in 2011. Carving a Life (Veronica) and Earth To Echo (Charlie) are her most recent credits. She has 24 acting credits and seven Self credits to her resume.
The one who looks like a female Django is Adyson Sweetwater who is voiced by Madison Pettis and according to IMDB: From playing daddy's little girl as the daughter of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in Disney's hit film "The Game Plan", to playing a boy-obsessed high school cheerleader in Teen Nick's series, "Life With Boys", Madison Pettis has grown up in front of America's eyes. Madison began making her mark in both television and film at the age of 6. She began her career in her home state of Texas, and after booking a string of commercials, made her first TV appearance on the PBS television series, "Barney & Friends". At age 7, Madison made the trip to Los Angeles for her first pilot season. Within a few weeks of arriving in L.A., Madison booked a guest-star role on the pilot episode of "Jericho", starring Skeet Ulrich and directed by Jon Turteltaub. That same pilot season, Madison auditioned for her very first feature film, Disney's "The Game Plan". She went through a lengthy callback process to land the role of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's long-lost daughter, Peyton. "The Game Plan" scored box office success by landing the #1 spot for two weeks in a row, earning $144 million worldwide. That same year, Madison became the youngest Disney Channel star, playing the role of "Sophie", the President's daughter, on "Cory in the House" for two seasons. In a crossover episode between the two shows, Madison also guest-starred on the hit show, "Hannah Montana". Since then, Madison has worked with some of the biggest names in the business, including Will Smith, on "Seven Pounds" & with Whoopi Goldberg in "Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa". She has starred in several other projects for Disney, including "The Search for Santa Paws" & a recurring character on the Disney XD series, "Lab Rats", where she plays the role of "Janelle".
Madison has expanded her talents to include animation voiceover work. She voices the lead role of "Izzy"--the only girl pirate--on Disney Junior's hit series, "Jake and the Never Land Pirates", as well as the voice of George Lopez's puppy daughter, "LaLa", in "Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 & 3". She also plays the recurring voice role of "Adyson" on Disney Channel's hit show "Phineas & Ferb". Madison's latest project is "Life With Boys"--a new live-action series from the creator/executive producer of "Hannah Montana". Madison plays "Allie", a high school cheerleader who is into fashion, makeup, and boys. The series airs in the U.S. & internationally in 86 countries. She began her career as Bridget on Barney & Friends in 2005 (in two OAV videos). Special Agent Oso is her DTVA debut (Katie and Tara) and is Izzy in Jake & The Neverland Pirates which is also her most recent credit. She has 25 acting credits and 21 Self credits to her resume. Finally; the girl behind Ginger when they do the shot with Buford and the Fireside Girls is Milly and she's voiced by Isabella Murad who was a kid in the toy store in Fred Claus in 2007 and is also known as Ellie Spicer in Criminal Minds. Special Agent Oso as Lainie/Carmen/Audrey is her DTVA debut. Mockingbird is her most recent credit. She has 12 acting credits to her resume. She also did ADR for Happy Feet 2 and The Three Stooges as well. So Phineas thanks them for arriving on short notice and apologizes to Buford for making him miss something no one cares about. Buford calls him pointy and seems to be threatening violence as Phineas claims that Isabella has been cursed....GASP... with the hiccups... groan. Phineas calls them the worst case he has ever seen; which indicates that he has never had them in his life. Maybe that triangle shaped head has something to do with it. Or maybe not. Phineas claims that he is building this haunted house because he wants to go where any sane man would shove into the darkest, twisted corners of his mind. Ummm; Phineas? Isabella is female; so the promo doesn't catch at all.
So Phineas wants the troops to think up the scariest things in their own minds; which shouldn't be a problem for Baljeet, although Buford will be interesting to say the least. We see the haunted house and it looks something out of a Disneyland theme park complete with electronic organ which somehow controls the whole thing. Phineas presses on the keys as we see Ferb sitting on a box and it's a Ghost-In-The-Box as he flies into the air and crashes into the top of the haunted house while Phineas is cutting this promo. Ferb is punch drunk as he comes outside; but is not injured in anyway as Phineas explains hiccups in the science way of saying it: involuntary contraction of the diaphragm muscle. I have no personal beef with this; it shows Phineas has some intellegence to go along with his creativty. So Ferb faints as Phineas sees him and wants everyone to put their scare on as we get clapping in the background; and he gets evil and it looks so weak that Lance Storm would see this and say: Damn; that was a weak evil stare. And speaking of evil the hideout is now called Doofenshmirtz Mentor's hideout; which should be Doofenshmirtz Mentor's Evil Hideout Incorporated. Oh come on writers; a little continuity goes a long way to make this more memorible. So we head inside and Doofenshmirtz is looking under the green sofa cushions and finding no dice nor keys. Doof then blows off Perry for not gracing his death with grace and maturity by no selling the game of Hot/Cold. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh; this is the type of promo Don Karnage would have cut 24 years ago. I'm serious folks. Perry is still no selling. Doof; just tickle him already! I should note that Perry's tail is clamped with gray color cuffs in one shot and then green in the next shot after Doof is blowing off Perry and then getting on his knees and begging for mercy. HAHA! Doofen invokes Ceasar's Ghost so you know he's desperate now.
We see the counter at 20 minutes as then it drops to ten minutes as we see Perry smiling and then we get the "Baby Legs" moment of this series as Doofenshmirtz is on a rubber ball (red, blue, yellow striped) balancing with sticks and dish plates acting like a complete idiot. Somehow; this is a million times funnier and stupider than Milo's "Baby Legs" routine. It works better because Doof is a heel anyway unlike Milo; who is the #1 babyface of the show. Then he trips and plates shatter as Doof takes a MAN-SIZED bump off-screen. Nice. So we head on the street with Candace riding a bicycle while the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM beckons. Ummm; yeah. This is basically a time filler scene as the song is great and the spots are impressive as a setup, but with logic breaking painting of stuff, and the flower vendor in the middle of the street. That vendor is not up to code. So Candace's flowers in paper go flying as she parks her purple bicycle at the sidewalk as we get a closeup of the mailbox which is the Johnson's mailbox. Then we cut to a window shot of Suzy (voiced by the same girl who does Brianna Buttowski and Shellsea) with her black poodle dog as she invokes the evil smile before pulling the blinders down. Then we cut to the open door and the black poodle runs and bites Suzy right in Candace's ass. Here's a hypocritical BS&P decision: They don't show the dog biting the ass; but they do show the dog holding onto the ass with his mouth which is basically the same visual as biting the ass. Candace screams, grunts and yells for help. So we see Suzy at the sprinkler system and she runs it as Candace panics. Somehow the sprinklers manage to spray water on Candace and instantly make the ground muddy out of nowhere. Candace trips and falls into the mud as Suzy gets a remote control and the remote control monster truck parks in front of her face on the edge of the mud; and Suzy basically does the spinning wheels spot with the monster truck to spray mud into Candace's face. Something tells me Suzy hates Candace for some reason that I cannot put my thumb on right now.
Candace whines and then Jermey comes outside and Suzy hides the remote control before she can be busted. So I'm guessing that she hates Candace because she busts Phineas & Ferb for being creative. I hope that is the case because that would make sense actually. Somehow; I doubt it. Candace is on the ground; and the way it's drawn and animated, when the poodle chews on the ass, you can briefly see her bare ass in a frame or two. Not enough to be obscene; but still there. Candace gets up and points the finger at Suzy for being evil and hating her; as Jermey looks confused and claims that she would never hurt a fly. Suzy only sezs bubble as Candace continues to throw accustations at her; which you know are going to fall on deaf ears because like Steve Jackson, Brandon Bubbler and Gil Nexdor (which is the best booking name ever in Johnny Test); they are denser than the adults of this show. Then Candace just realizes it and proclaims that there's no point in continuing this conversation because he doesn't see her as a Candace hater and just walks away sobbing. Suzy incriminates herself by waving bye bye; but Jermey is too dense to notice. So we head into the backyard as Isabella is calling for Phineas and then sees the haunted house while hiccuping as usual. This is the most purplified haunted house I have seen in my life. Yes; I do get a lot of amusement out of their use of bright colors; and anyone who claims that this is bad for the eyes should have their eyes checked because something is clearly wrong with them. Because if they are fine; then it's another "I love feeces colors because they are macho". As much as I commend TaleSpin for having the best cel animation in DTVA history and their detailed use of colors from bright to mature; color stylists are awfully expensive. As long as there is continuity in between scenes, I am fine with bright colors. I just realized that the top of the haunted house; there is a doghouse on top labeled Fido. That made me laugh. So we get a lot of bat screaming as they engulf here and then we get monsters howling. Isabella screams and we instantly fade to black to end the segment 12 minutes in. Fine episode thus far...
After the commercial break; we get the ground to sky of the doghouse top of the haunted house as there are more bats and the sky has turned purple; indicating that it is going to be a rain storm tomorrow. So we pan down to Isabella who looks scared and backs up towards the house because there is a Fish Hooks clip art-equse yellow alien hissing at her. And then it turns into the Phineas & Ferb style right on the next shot as Isabella stops selling and claims it did not work. Well; that's no shock since (a) hiccups are only stopped by time and (b) she knew Phineas was in there; so the scare failed because she was not shooting on the scared part. So Phineas comes out looking like a mad scientist with a Rebecca Cunningham color scheme hair mashed with Circus Afro~! He is wearing yellow rubber gloves as Isabella asks about more scares and he offers Isabella her hand and asks if she is ready to accept this trip inside the haunted house. Isabella hiccups and agrees; so Phineas takes her hand and we head inside the haunted house for the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM. We have monsters, dogs, bones, ghosts with cut nooses around their necks, pitch black rooms, knights chopping and the spiral staircase as we go into a purple room as Baljeet is wearing a costume of a failed math test. Yeah; that is so scary Baljeet. NOT! It's sad, frustrating, anger inducing, but not scary Baljeet. You just couldn't dress up as Buford? That would be scary. Phineas blows him off and they leave as Baljeet proclaims that they would not run to the college of their choice, that is for sure. So more singing as we get the ultra plastic scary killer robot with buzz saws as hands. Then we do the Scooby Doo sliding door to the next room with four green haired zombie banshees. Apparently; scaring also help in maintaining healthy hair. They do the touch the light blub spot and get fried as a result with screaming. More running and singing as they climb spider webs with spiders as handles. I see we are preparing for Mission Marvel already as they climb into the next room as we get to see what scares Buford the most.
So Buford turns around and apparently; the thing that scares him the most is Suzy because he's dressed as Suzy. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Like I said, Buford's gimmick is to self-embarrass himself. Suzy is not scary; she's evil. Just because she's evil doesn't mean she's scary. That is only in Candace's little mind. How did Buford get her black poodle though? Then we see the dog teleport to the floor and it's a doll. Apparently; Suzy gives Buford the willies. This HAS to be the finish for Raging Bullies; otherwise the writers have lost their minds. Phineas looks stunned and asks about it as Buford claims that he doesn't know the horror as he washes himself with a out of nowhere drain pipe spraying water. Phineas and Isabella bail because apparently; Suzy is not evil to them. More spiderweb pulling up the spiral staircase, with more bats and humming. They get to the top floor and get into a rollercoster car with skulls and bones painted on brown. If I feel like it; I'll do a rant on Rollercoster even though it won't be the final version. It will be the storyboard original one Dan and Jeff pitched. Probably not this rant; but maybe the last episode on this set. Fake tombstones (no crosses sadly), purple spiders, green devil like gargoyles, a cheese witch with purple hair and a cauldron. So we go up and we see the opening to a clown like sun face with black bats each having blue whites for eyes. I should note that Phineas is holding Isabella's hand the entire time while this song is being sang; which started the whole "toy ship" thing with them. More monster heads and rollercoasting fun and we end with the roller coaster cart stopping right in front of the room which contains the electronic organ which Ferb was playing. Ferb is playing The Creature. I know this because of the shape of Ferb's head. He laughs like a diabotical manaic that Doof wishes he had. So Ferb walks to Isabella as Phineas asks if it worked and Isabella hiccups again. Phineas was afraid that this might happen and so he has one more thing left to try.
So we scene change to the street as Candace is biking on the sidewalk with the poodle still gnawing at her helmet. She then stops and the black poodle jumps off and runs away like a scalded dog. Candace is in disbelief because Phineas & Ferb have indeed built a haunted house. A purple haunted house which causes Candace to stammer again. So we head back to Doof as he proclaims that he will offer to free Perry in exchange for the keys which Perry nods his head in approval. Doof has the remote yelling at him to say that an hour ago. I call foul on this one since the timer was set at 30 minutes at the most. You couldn't redub the line to say "a half hour ago" guys? So the cuffs are gone and Perry lifts his foot to reveal the keys which as I discover have a dog model attached to the key chain. Awww; how cute. So Doof goes over and struggle to open the side door; but does manage to get it open. He throws all the stuff into the back and then gets in; and roof of the hut opens and Doof puts the keys into the ignition and the rocket flies into the air. So we cut back to Doof inside the rocket feeling relieved that he escaped from certain death; but sadly he forgot that he freed Perry and Perry appears in the back cargo hold with the DEATH DEVICE OF DEATH; which is now set at 5 and 1/4 minutes. Yeap; he didn't forget anything except his brain, but that went missing a long time ago. Doofen then gets the lightblub of bloody clarity as he realizes that he doesn't even play golf. HAHA! Oh Doof; there is a good use for those clubs besides golf you know. BS&P will hate you for using them in this way; but I won't and neither would the kids. So Perry jumps up right in the face and we get the FCC FRIENDLY OFF-SCREEN FIST FIGHT OF DEATH (a one sided FCC FRIENDLY OFF-SCREEN FIST FIGHT OF DEATH; but still...) with a side show of the purple rocket. Doof shoves Perry away and then tackles on Perry's face. Now THAT is funny! I like heels who rub heelish tactics from babyfaces right back in their faces.
So Perry shoves him off and Doof lands on his ass off-screen. Perry is stalking him and Doofen invokes the LEGAL HAND OF GOD for a timeout. Silly Doofenshmirtz, there are no timeouts in a tackle on someone's head fist fight! Of course; Perry falls for the hair in the mouth trick because beside Doof is a box of Christmas lights and he throws them like a bola towards Perry and it ties him up against the back hatch which opens up and there is wind whipping around as Doofen mocks him for saving him the trouble. He turns left to try to shake Perry out of the rocket; but all it does is untie Perry and Agent P hangs onto the string of Xmas lights as stuff flies out of the back of the hatch. So then we scene change to Candace on a ground to sky shot of the haunted house as she proclaims that the boys are in big trouble now. Then we cut to Phineas Hyde and Ferb Jeckal as Phineas orders Ferb to release the antenna now. So Ferb is using a pulley system made of wood and bones as we see an antenna rising up to the sky from the roof as Phineas points out that the house is operated on static electricty. Ummm; yeah, this haunted house is environmentally friendly too! Or maybe not. Now; Candace has already proclaimed that the boys are in big trouble. So instead of going into her house and calling Linda, or even just wait until she comes home; she enters the haunted house. She is stammering like crazy as she is blowing off Phineas & Ferb like a scared child. We get a really good background like shot of Candace moving forward as some skeleton bone bat walks in the background forcing Candace to turn around; but it is gone before she can see it. She turns around and then she screams seeing a Kraid like monster with a snake that shows three scary heads with them coming out of their mouths. Candace screams and bails like a scalded dog as we discover that the alien's head is fake and it's Gretchen, Ginger and Milly giggling at them. Good thing I did the voice tributes in this episode huh? This leads to the Scooby Doo hallway spot as Candace tries to open one door; but fails and runs into the hard camera. Then she screams and runs away from the hard camera as a flying candlestick chases her.
So Candace decides to do the hallway spot after all and manages to get the farest right door open and locks it inside. We get the pitch black spot as some eyes pop up and Candace pulls the green string and we see a reject of The Count from Seasame Street that looks way too close to it. I know that The Muppets are Disney's property; but the Children's Television Workshop characters are not. This looks like a walking copyright infringement just waiting to happen. Isn't it also hilarious that everything is purple; but this Count reject is in mature colors? HAHA! You can guess what Candace does next here. More opening doors and more running and screaming. The Chinese Dragon with legs gets involved (I'm guessing that it's the same three Fireside Girls are before); skeletons run in. And yes folks; the giant baby doll's head of doom has return and it bounces straight into the hard camera. It is clearly CGI'ed because the anti-aliasing effects were not done to it and the edges looked pixelized. Very sloppy there guys. Candace pops from the out of nowhere trap door and then screams and leaves because there is The Creature from the same room the Count reject was in. The Creature is as confused as I am of this as we cut to outside with the antenna starting to glow as a thunderbolt comes out of nowhere. Ummm; I don't see any clouds around to give us that kind of weather guys! The lightning absorbs into the antenna and it acts like Ymir from Final Fantasy VI after eating too much bolt energy. The organ gets fried as Phineas panics that there is too much lightning crap. So as this is going on; Candace basically runs through all the areas where Phineas and Isabella were going during the big musical number (that ate up three minutes of episode time) and screams. Bumps into Buford and Baljeet; they all scream. Candace bails, screams and bounces off the CHEST OF DEMONS containing the evil purple clown jack in the box (like I would forget that) and lands in the roller coaster. She screams some more as we get the non-lyrical version of the song and then she finally stops right at the organ room and gets bumped off and lands on her face. Yeah; she's a bump machine.
Candace gets up and rants on Phineas & Ferb like she always does; and it's almost worth it because the giant floating baby head has a crush on her. Awwww! Candace blows it off and proclaims that when Linda gets home; he is going down about five times over. Phineas' answer to this is to ask if Isabella is cured and she hiccups. You know Isabella is screwed when even CANDACE'S rants cannot cure her plight. So Candace goes to the elevator (yes; there is one complete with button with a monster's face printed on it); and the giant floating baby head join in and cuddles next to her. I loved this; and sadly, Candace is such an asshole that she blows off the baby head and it sobs and gets off the elevator. Hey; blasting Suzy is one thing, but taking it out on a floating baby head; that is being a jackass! So the elevator closes and we head back to the purple rocket as Perry continues to hang up via the Xmas lights and the string ties around the antenna somehow; and we all know where this is going now as Candace is outside and she then notice's Linda's car proclaiming that Linda is home and she thinks she has won this war with her brothers. Linda has some groceries in her hand which is weird because I thought that she was only going to Johnson's book club in Johnson's house. Candace is telling mother to come see this as we see the haunted house being torn from it's foundation as Django and Buford look on in disbelief. So the Fireside girls realize that this is a bad situation and they all get out of the house along with Ferb. Phineas is last; but the house gets torn off and flies into the air. Phineas crashes through the purple boards and freefalls towards the ground about 10,000 feet. YAY! Phineas does have the Kit Cloudkicker sense of danger in him. He's trying; oh lord he's trying so hard to earn his coolness, unlike certain stunt devils and assholes I know. The Fireside girls look up and Isabella orders them to take off their sashes and they WHIP IT~! Into a huge sash net. That's pretty creative for the safety net spot. Phineas bounces off the sashes (complete with boing sound effects) and lands in the arms of Isabella.
Isabella calls this scary and I should point out that Phineas was scared of falling and the moment he landed in Isabella's arms, he completely stopped selling. That was not contrived in the very least, no siree. Isabella puts him down gently and then is relieved that her hiccups are gone. So we see the Fireside Girls leaving stage left as Candace and Linda are already in the backyard. So that means Linda saw what happened. So what really happens: Candace goes on a rant about the terror that they suffered because Phineas destroyed the backyard and left a haunted house in it's place. As Linda is looking at the backyard, it's Baljeet waving. Linda greets Baljeet; calls Candace not nice like Teddy Ruxpin would sometimes say to Grubby, only with MORE justification than Teddy. She walks into the house as Candace is stunned. Yeah; she ignored it. Not that I mind that since Candace is such an asshole here, but it's still a gaping logic break. So we have two minutes to go and we head to the sky to ground shot of Perry climbing up the string of lights as Doof is in the back of the hatch and he unties the string of lights as Perry dives down onto the roof of the haunted house and jumps off. Perry free falls and uncorks his parachute in which the straps on the belly and shoulders have returned for no reason at all. The haunted house lands in the backyard again; as the VAPORIZATOR DEVICE OF DEATH is on top of the roof. Candace turns around at the side door and sees the haunted house in the backyard again. Candace turns around and calls for Linda. The device counts down to zero and then it completely disappears the haunted house into nothingness. Candace drags Linda out of the side door and there is Baljeet with his satchel because he's forgetful. Linda has the Gruffi pose and tells her goodbye; and walks back in slamming the door shut. Yeah; Candace is in the doghouse again.
So Candace is ranting about Phineas and Ferb ruining her life and denying her chance to see Jermey. Hey; it was YOU that ran off like a crying jerk after Jermey invited you to his house. This is all YOUR fault Candace. You could have handled this like a mature female would; but noooooo, you had to act like Bea today. Isabella points out that this is the best day of her life because she cured her hiccups and Phineas gave him her undivided attention. Candace stammers as Jermey arrives asking about why she ran away from him and Candace is now hiccuping. Yeah. Jermey holds Candace's hand and they walk stage left for a glass of water as Candace sees Suzy and hisses at her. Suzy is confused (Riiiiggggghhhhhttttt Suzy!) as she sees Buford dressed up as Suzy and is not amused by this. Buford stammers and then bails as we get a close up of Suzy with the Gruffi pose and a lot of horror music. So we cut to the backyard as Phineas, Ferb and Perry wrap this whole day up. Phineas asks Ferb what was the scariest thing in the episode; and Ferb claims that it was the giant floating baby head. Despite the fact that Ferb didn't sell fear when the baby head was in the organ room when Candace showed up. Bad logic break there guys! Phineas agrees and then asks where it came from. Ferb shrugs and that ends the episode at 21:07. The ED is basically the second half of the song they played during the haunted house sequence. The only difference is the man laughs and we can hear Isabella hiccup during the WD-logo and then swearing in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (darn). Yeap; this was sloppy with logic breaks out of the wazoo; but much of it was funny and the storyline was perfectly acceptable cartooning. It feels like a TaleSpin episode that is beaten too much with the logic break stick way too many times. *** 1/2 (70%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; our first 22 minute episode for real is in the books and it was a good episode. I thought the concept was pretty neat and there were a lot of stuff that did make me laugh including the giant floating baby head crushing on Candace. Doof/Perry was great as usual and Doof didn't look stupid for a change as he managed to escape and somewhat win this round. This was supposed to be like a TaleSpin episode with focus and feeling; but while the idea and the overall storyline was great, the execution was off as there were some logic breaks I couldn't accept (Linda seeing the thing before the finish and then having to ignore it annoyed me) and it felt sloppy and off in places. The double tease finish was good on paper and practice; but the execution is off. That's a problem with many new cartoons nowadays: They tried way too hard to be creative and then they forget how to plug up logic holes and the timing is off base; taking what was a great idea and making it suck through bad excutation. There were a lot of animaton errors in this one and coloring mistakes that should have been fixed in post production; but were not (the green cuff on Perry's tail when he was cuffed to the box is one grave example of this). Overall; this was a very good story and was really funny, but I was laughing/annoyed at a lot of the mistakes made in this episode. So next up is literally the two episodes after the pilot Rollercoaster: The Fast & The Phineas and Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror. Yeah; we finally get to that one plot device I don't like in this modern era: The gnome statue. So....
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time.