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Phineas & Ferb: No More Bunny Business/Spa Day
Reviewed: 02/01/2014
All Right, No More Spa Bunny Business Days!
All right; it's time for no more funny business (unless the show is doing it on purpose) and move to the next DVD set: The Perry Files. By the time this one is over; there will be 15 shorts completed over the next three weeks or so; almost as many as the two DVD sets I did previously. So; first off is episode 2-15A (#70) on the animation paper as Candace takes care of a bunny that is formally a secret agent who went rouge to steal OWCA's system of doom. Meanwhile; Phineas & Ferb build x-ray goggles to help others. Doofensmirtz is creating Planty The Potted Plant to replace Perry; while chasing the dogs from his apartment away with loud noises. Then from there; it's 2-15B (#71) as Candace and Stacey have a spa day which Phineas & Ferb create a spa; while Doofensmirtz takes in a lost cat who tries to screw his old inventions. YAY! Let's rant on shall we...?!
No More Bunny Business is written and storyboared by Sherm Cohen and Chong Lee. Chong Lee started with Dexter's Lab in 1998. Non-DTVA credits: Family Guy, Avatar: The Last Air Bender, The Oblongs, Dilbert, Time Squad, Tom & Jerry: The Fast and the Furry, My Gym Partner's A Monkey (of course), and TMNT Nick edition as his most recent credit. Mickey Mouseworks is his DTVA debut and also did stuff for House of Mouse, Teamo Supremo, Dave The Barbarian, Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch, American Dragon: Jake Long and Secret Agent Oso. That's it. Spa Day is written and storyboarded by Antoine Gulibaud and Aliki Theofilopoulos-Grafft. The story is done by Jennifer Keene. Story editing for both episode are done by Scott Peterson. Scott has a really interesting resume doing video imaging for The Hunt For Red October, The Blob (his debut), Batman Returns, Predator 2, Terminator 2: Judgment Day and Toys among others. He also did video effects for Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Timecop, Tank Girl and Jingle All The Way among others. Her started as a writer in 1995 with Robotboy and NASCAR Racers. Brandy & Mr. Whiskers is his DTVA debut and he also wrote for Emperor's New Skool, The Replacements and Kick Buttowski (as a story editor). He has 12 other credits, 15 writing credits, and six visual credits to his resume. Animation is done by Wang Films.
No More Bunny Business: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM as a pink skinned black haired female wearing what appears to be safari gear with shorts; as I discover that she is a mail person who delivers mail in her side arm bag. Phineas & Ferb come up from the sidewalk asking if it is here and she claims that it is not. Mailwoman is voiced by Jennifer Stone and according to IMDB: At the age of 6 Jennifer Stone began her stage career after many hours of watching her brother rehearse for community theatre productions. Many leading theatrical roles (some award-winning) followed, and when she was 8 she signed with an agency and began auditioning for commercials. Jennifer has currently appeared in several commercials and voice-overs, but her break in came when she was cast as the great-niece of Robert Duvall and Michael Caine in New Line Cinema's Secondhand Lions (2003) (which is her acting debut). She has appeared in various shows as a cameo until she was Harper Finkle in Wizards of Waverly Place and the babysitter in Deadtime Stories. Phineas & Ferb is her DTVA debut and only appearance. In fact; the only other animation credit she has right now is Generator Rex as Beverly Holiday. She also was in the Mean Girls 2 TV movie as Abby Hanover and Harriet in Harriet The Spy: Blog Wars. She also appeared in the WWE film That's What I Am as well. She has 20 acting credits and ten self credits to her resume. High School Exorcism as Chloe Shea, and Cavegirl The Movie as Cavegirl (rumored) are her most recent credits. Phineas grabs the letters and sulks off with Ferb; then she comes back claiming to have one more thing. Phineas & Ferb are giddy; but it's only a flier for Penny Shopper. HAHA! Phineas & Ferb sulk off again as the mail person leaves stage left. So Candace comes in complaining about a box on the front door; which happens to be a parcel, because the delivery guy put it on the ground in front of the front door while Phineas and Ferb were camping around the mail box. Yeah; they are idiots, but at least they aren't Fanboy & Chum Chum.
Phineas rips open the package and throws all the foam peanuts and the like as we see a box which is only 1/10th the size of the big box. He opens the box and puts on these thumb smudged purple half glasses on and we get the FPS shot of what Phineas sees and it sucks. Phineas calls this a rip-off. NO?! REALLY?! Phineas wants the comic and Ferb gives him one. Phineas scans the comic book pages to the ad for the X-Ray glasses as this is supposed to fool your friends and create amazing illusion; as we read the disclaimer saying that it doesn't really provide x-ray vision. Why yes old farts; even kids in the modern era can be really, really dumb. Most so when there are two geniuses in the mix. Phineas then shows off how to do the "Family Guy" flashback that is creative: Phineas proclaims that this is just like the time that they went bodybuilding and Ferb simply grows about three times his body weight in muscle and then goes back to normal. HAHA! Even funnier; Phineas never sees Ferb's body. Phineas proclaims that he was looking so forward to fooling his friends; and then catches himself proclaiming that he knows what they are going to do today. So we see Candace walking in and she notices a white bunny rabbit on the grass. She gets heart in her pupils and grabs the bunny; and states that she is going to eat her up. Figure of speech of course. Phineas asks where Perry is and he's already in his chair in front of the monitor at OWCA headquarters. This is probably for the best since they broke logic on the entrances about 18 times already in the first season. So Major Monogram informs us that Doofensmirtz is still doing his usual stuff; but there are more serious problems since a rogue agent is on the loose. We pan over to see Carl with Agent D and Agent O selling injuries while Karl is creating a composite sketch of something on a propped clipboard. Cark takes the picture and shows it to Monogram and it's a Stickin Around level sketch of a anthro detective bunny. Hm...could it be? Nah; that would be too obvious. Monogram grabs the paper and crumbles it while blowing off Karl's drawing skills. Wow; Major malfunction at the junction there sir.
Karl bails and Monogram apologizes as he informs us that this rogue agent is trying to find one of the secret entrances in order to hack into it's mainframe. Wait; if he wanted to do that, then why not go directly to the main OWCA headquarters instead of Agent P's? Anyhow; Monogram salutes him as Agent P salutes back. Perry gets his usual female chant as he goes into the glass elevator and pushes up onto the top of the chimney. Perry uses the binoculars as he sees Candace walking into the house (through the glass door) with the bunny rabbit. More binocular shots of blimps and a shot of Phineas & Ferb at their set up lab table with chemicals and objects doing lab stuff. Phineas then looks directly at the hard camera and claims that he sees Perry. Now we then get a shot of Perry without the hat on all fours on the top of the chimney; implying that Phineas didn't see him as Agent P. Now the problem with this is: the binoculars are with him; so Phineas should wonder how they got up there too. But no; Phineas ignores it claiming that he can get himself down. So we cut back to the lab table talking about frames and polycarbonate lens solutions as there are purple rimmed glasses propped on the table. Phineas claims that they need something to improve eyesight; and Ferb brings out the out of nowhere chalk board as it shows a large carrot. Phineas calls this a good idea of course as we return to Agent P and his monitor wristwatch as Monogram has claimed that he has a better composite sketch of the rogue agent because he hired professional artists. Then we see various pictures of the bunny rabbit dressed up as stereotypes including one which is basically what Bandit Keith would look like in the TaleSpin world. That made me laugh. Anyhow; the final picture is of course the white bunny rabbit we saw Candace bring into the house. Called that one five minutes before the show started I might add. The rabbit is named Dennis and he must be stopped at all costs. Why? What evil could he do in hacking the mainframe? He might be hacking into a video game inside the mainframe to show his artistic programming side. Have you ever thought of that Major?! See what I did there..?
So the monitor fizzles out and Perry dives into the chimney and runs in the hallway as he's within a few feet of the door as we see Candace in her room in the background cuddling the bunny and calling it Mr. Cutie-Patootie. Ooooooookkkkkkkaaaaayyyyyyyy; someone is on an illegal substance tonight and I want to know who it is because I would like some of that. Or not. So Candace puts Dennis (we all know who he is now) on the bed as she opens the CHEST OF DEMONS and does the Wuzzles throwaway spot as she throws away a perfectly good sceptor; which I was disappointed when I discovered that it wasn't a copy of the one Macho King used to cost Ultimate Warrior the championship at Royal Rumble 1991. Anyhow; Dennis brings out the out of nowhere blueprints as Candace blows off all of her stuff in the chest as Dennis goes to the closet and opens it. Then slams it and turns around to see Perry run in and hiss at him . Dennis counters and then Candace turns around and doesn't see that the Spongebob Trick has been pulled on her since they are animals instead of furries this time around. Candace goes over and kicks Perry out because his blandness is ruining Dennis. Something is going to ruin Dennis; but it's not Perry being bland. So Candace grabs Dennis and puts him on the makeup table; because it's makeover time. Candace dresses him in a purple dress smiling; but then looks angry everytime Candace turns her back on him. Powder is involved, Dennis sneezes. As Candace is getting the matching shoes; we see a pan east to the window where Agent P is hanging from a rope doing ASL which means that he is watching his every move. Nice one Sightscope! Dennis blocks the window with the curtains and then returns smiling as Candace has a tiara and matching shoes. Candace proclaims at some point of this sequence that she'll make him the alpha pet of the family. That's distressing. So we scene change to Doofensmirtz Evil Inc (without the jingle sadly) as Doofensmirtz is cutting promos out of his evil promo cutting notebook. HAHA! Sadly; Perry is not here as he checks his watch in the lab which contains a coat rack with matching white coats.
So he walks out and then blows off Perry (so much for It's About Time eh?) as there is the usual device of the day underneath the cover on the look off. Doofen then notices a potted plant and he cosplays with him for a while. HAHA! Planty The Potted Plant is priceless. Now this better lead to Perry getting planted in that pot like Bushroot did to Drake in The Incredible Bulk; or I'll be so disappointed. So the plant gets tied up with a noose around it as Doofen proclaims that he does not need Agent P. So we head back to the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM and inside the kitchen as Phineas & Ferb are raiding the fridge for carrots. That is not a misprint folks. Phineas is glad to have them as Candace runs in and steals about two dozen or so carrots from the veggie compartment of the fridge. Phineas asks for them and Candace blows him off implying that he cares more about their science experiment than a living thing. That sounds so "animal rights activist"-equse to me Candace as she blows them off as being jealous and walks off. Phineas and Ferb simply ignore her and walk outside saying that they go to Isabella's house for the carrots. I should also note that Ferb asks why Dennis was wearing a tutu; and Candace claims that HE likes it. Implying that she knows the rabbit's gender. Oookkkkaaayyy. So we head to the living room and Dennis does tricks for Candace as she waves the carrots around barking orders like a sadist who is acting like she's happy and caring towards Dennis. So Dennis does the worm and the robot for Candace's pleasure; as he eats carrots. Candace is impressed and bails to get some more. Dennis turns furry and searches the place; but goes to the grandfather clock and the insides open to reveal Perry who kicks Dennis in the face on-screen. Where is that tough guy activist for Transgender rights from Deadpool when you really need him? So Perry proclaims that this is on (ASL again) and it IS ON BABEE! Nothing more awesome than seeing two furries fight in the living room.
So they spar for a bit and then we notice Linda walking in the hallway in the foreground with a laundry basket. She then stops and looks in the doorway as the Spongebob Trick rears it's ugly head. Linda just states that it's a rabbit and Candace's new pet before walking off. So we see both furries snarl at each other right in front of the Gedo colored sofa. So they turn furry and do one of the lamest fights I have seen since Temptation: Dennis simply throws objects to Perry including a frying pan and an elephant statue like lamp which was clearly a gift from Baljeet's parents. It ends with Perry and Dennis going through the doggy door. So we head to Doofensmirtz Evil Inc inside the lab (wait; what?) as Doofen claims that he's just hanging around. So he's about to tell us the next invention and the dogs start barking. Oh dear; I have Monster A Go Go flashbacks again as Doofensmirtz goes outside on the lookoff and explains that he cannot stand the barking dogs ever since the condo next to his building started allowing pets. I'm trying to think why they did that; and all I'm getting is: They lost a discrimination lawsuit against a person who needs a seeing eye dog to see. So Doofen goes back in and pulls the conveniently placed lever (JESUS~!) which a big ass milkbone dog cookie arises from a conveniently placed trap door which is strapped with rockets and a steel bar to hold them; for no reason. Doofen calls this the Dog Buscuit-inator which is fine; but I think the Milkbone-inator would have been better if it wasn't for copyright. Dogs continue to bark and howl within a 40 mile radius as Doofen blows them off and goes back in and flings Planty. Then he turns his back and gets whacked in the back of the head hard. Am I watching For Whom The Bell Klangs again? Doofen drops the remote and tries to fight back; but gets whacked before he can finish his promo. Doofensmirtz is so stupid; but he's no stupider fighting Planty than he is with Perry.
So this goes on for a bit and then we head back to the backyard as we see Ferb using a pulley system to bring a basket of carrots up. Ferb dumps the carrots into a big ass juicer device which juices the carrots. Didn't anyone tell Ferb that juicing live carrots is MURDER?! Music of gibberish in the background as Ferb is stomping on the carrots like grapes with his shoes on which makes sense since they are not drinking the juice. We see a series of tubes and Phineas wants him to stomp really good because he wants the juice concerated. Despite having a thousand carrots to juice; they are making only drops at a time to put on the purple rimmed glasses. One cup of carrot juice requires up to 14 large carrots or up to 90 baby carrots; which they clearly have too many large carrots already. So it's dripping ever so slowly on some sheet on the table as Isabella is already here and asks what he is doing. Wait; so she waited until NOW to say it instead of asking when Phineas asks for the carrots? I realize that scene doesn't exist since we didn't see them actually go to Isabella's house (although we did hear them saying that they are going there); but it still makes no sense. So the carrot juice is dripping into the tray containing the polymers as Phineas dips them into the solution without even allowing them to mix and we have neon green x-ray glasses with purple rims and orange swirl marks. Somehow; the carrot juice didn't orange color the rims for some reason. Phineas proclaims that it'll take a couple of hour to set properly as we discover that Isabella has a pinkified Kwikkie-bake oven in the backyard; just in case for stuff like this. So Isabella opens the oven and puts them into the oven claiming that Fireside Girls are always prepared. Wow; I'm loving this troupe a lot more than the Junior Woodchucks. Why? Because they book the Fireside Girls to be actually compentent; while the Junior Woodchucks look like total idiots half of the time.
So we get the Wuzzle Scene Changer of Doom (It took 19 episodes for this to occur) as the oven dings and we have the glasses in Isabella's hands. Shouldn't we wait 20 minutes to let them cool and solidify? I can imagine what Isabella has to make that process quick. So Isabella hands the glasses to Phineas and then we hear a woman screaming. Isabella is able to ID it as Vivian (why yes; Vivian is the mother of Isabella; why do you ask?) and we run in and teleport right into the kitchen as Vivian is panicing because she lost her wedding ring. So Isabella asks what she is doing and Vivian claims that she was washing dishes which Phineas gets an idea as he puts on the x-ray glasses and they manage to go through the metal pipes in the cupboard below the sink. It manages to find the wedding ring is stuck inside the drain pipe. Phineas proclaims that he has found it and tells Vivian where it is; plus offers to help get it out as Ferb comes in with a blowtorch, a mask, a wrench and a jar of mayo. I didn't know Ferb liked the same lunch as Fanboy? That better be Miracle Whip because regular mayo is gross. Vivian wants to call a regular plumber because he's bonded see. Phineas decides to let it go and leave as he's more excited about the X-Ray Glasses than the drain pipe. Which means it's time for the song and dance routine of doom which has a song just for the glasses themselves. This is like watching Teddy Ruxpin, Hey Arnold!, Darkwing Duck and Kim Possible all rolled into one. Only this is very good much of the time when blended. And yes; Ferb loses his head in one shot; so beheading is allowed still. Isabella tries on the glasses which have the neon green effect on everything except for bones. Basically; Phineas helps scientist discover dinosaur bones below the ground (which shouldn't be possible, but whatever), find a boy in the ball house (and use the long arm of doom from Ferb), being a peeping tom in a circus (including discovering that the fat ass clown is a horse on it's hind legs), and peeping through houses which include green aliens doing magic tricks on a cow. It's also useful in getting the secret toy inside the cereal box at the supermarket too.
Phineas & Ferb play guitar complete with x-ray shots of them as Ferb's guitar has stars on them. So we head to the backyard and an easel containing a checklist which Phineas checks off the last thing. Apparently; one of the quality control tests was to be a peeping tom on Candace; which we never saw sadly. Phineas proclaims that this has past all quality control tests as Isabella runs in with a stack of white paper claiming that orders are piling in; so Phineas wants more carrot juice and they run off. We head back in the living room as Candace is calling for Mr. Cootie-...Oh; screw it! It's Dennis as we see in the background from the glass window that Perry and Dennis are sword playing on top of the BBQ. They jump down and dodge and parry stuff for a while; and then Dennis notices the x-ray glasses and then kicks Perry in the face and he goes flying and gets hung on the clothesline and inside the same bra he wore in Jerk De Solei. Dennis uses the glasses and notices a trapdoor under the glass which leads to a pipe heading for OWCA. Now I see why they didn't build it up perviously. Good one writers. So Dennis throws the glasses away and opens the sod (NOT THAT ONE!) which reveals a trapdoor. He dives into the pipe as Perry jumps off the bra and follows him into OWCA headquarters. So Perry is looking around as Dennis is behind the computer control panel right next to the conveniently placed red button and presses it as Perry gets an iron cage dumped on him. Dennis steals the hat from Perry and then plops on the chair and we discover that Perry wears that hat because it has a bar to scan on it which allows the monitor to be accessed, revealing Monogram. Monogram at first asks Perry; but then panics as he sees Dennis in the chair. Monogram yells for Perry to stop this; but Dennis pushes some button and we get the Acess Granted message on screen in green letters. Perry holds onto the bars on his hind legs; so the hat has no magic powers to make him furry; and thus the animal part is him acting. Nice.
So we head back to the living room as Phineas is on a cellphone talking to a muffled voice as he wants 300 Million tonnes of grade A carrots delivered; and then states that he's a little young to be doing this. I know this because Phineas sezs "Yes. Yes I am." So we cut to the living room with Candace calling for Dennis as Phineas is inside with Ferb asking if she checked the backyard. Candace turns around and notices the large pile of carrots in the backyard because as she was doing this; a truck backs up towards the backyard and dumps 300 million metic tons of grade A carrots. Now; guess what Candace does? Well; Phineas asks to check the kitchen and Candace simply walks away stage left. Yeah; she cares more about the bunny than busting the boys. That's an improvement actually. Phineas and Ferb follow her as we head back to Doofensmirtz Evil Inc. Okay; I did miss something from earlier; but I'll explain it here: Doofensmirtz had some device pour gravy onto the Milkbone-inator (that's my story and I'm sticking to it!) and the thing is pointed directly at the dogs like in Bearly Alive with Howard Huge. He claims that he'll use it to lead the dogs to fall over the edge of the Tri-State area. Geez; for a scientist, he is acting like a flat-earther, only even narrower. Doofensmirtz is inside as the plant (with newspaper like hat) is hanging around as usual. Doofensmirtz is pooped as he heads for the door and wants to claim this one a draw. Then the door breaks down and about 100 dogs run to the lookoff and they gnaw on the giant milkbone with gravy as Doofensmirtz curses the planted pot. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ah! Close enough. It would have been awesome if it ended with Doofensmirtz getting planted. So we head back to the backyard and here's what happened: One of the carrots somehow bounces off the pile and goes down the pipe. It heads into OWCA headquarters. It aquires some carrot smell as Dennis is playing with the computer. Why? I have no idea.
So the smell overwhelms him and he runs to the carrot and eats it. Perry sees a plan and then we discover that the lever is conveniently placed within tail distance of the cage and can be pulled. Which he does (JESUS~!) as a trapdoor flings open and all the carrots gets dumped right onto Dennis burying him in a carrot tomb. So one of the carrots manages to get close to Perry. Dennis pops from the top and is about to get away; but then the carrots overwhelm him (I should note that he gets carrots in his eyes much like Scrooge gets dollar signs in his eyes in Luck'O'The Ducks) and he starts chomping. Perry grabs the carrot and uses it as a dart to push the red button which releases the cage. Perry runs in and handcuffs Dennis with ease because he cannot move since he gained at least five times his weight in carrots. Monogram praises Agent P for that and I yawn as we get a sky shot of the Flynn-Fletcher residence as Candace wonders if he ran away. So Candace and Phineas head out into the backyard and Phineas is shocked because all the carrots are gone in half a minute. Candace then completely steals Shego's "Welcome to My World" line from Kim Possible. Shego is not going to be happy about this. And no Shego; Stand Up To The Victory is not about you. So Perry walks out and Candace not only notices him; but is glad to see him because she wants to makeover and pinkified Perry. As much as pink is awesome on males in this show; Perry is the lone exception. Because this segueways to Monogram and Karl saluting someone and we discover that it's Planty The Potted Plant getting the purple cross (and yes; it's a real Christian Cross on it to boot! Even this show does it. Wonderful). BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Wait; WHAT THE HELL? That ends the episode at 10:50 approx. I realize that Doofensmirtz lost to a potted plant and it was damn funny; but HOW? This was actually a pretty nice change as Doofensmirtz makes me laugh once again, and Phineas plans go up in smoke like Candace trying to bust the boys every episode. The irony was sweet; but the sloppiness was bittersweet at best. Just your average Phineas & Ferb love in. *** 1/2 (70%).
Spa Day: We begin this one with Perry, Phineas & Ferb snoozing in the backyard as Candace is swearing in DUBBED ANIME STYLE as we zoom towards the house and then inside the living room as we see Candace and Stacey are so giddy because it's their first spa day. Whatever makes you two happy; because at least it doesn't involve busting Phineas & Ferb. Yet. They are looking at a flier for the spa which has algae wraps, hot rock rubs and volcanic mineral scrubs. So the spa is called Quackery Spas. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! POW! OUCH! OUCH! Ummmm...Stacey has the flier and in comes Phineas & Ferb proclaiming that it sounds like fun. Candace shows Phineas the flier and then blows him off because this is grown up stuff that he won't understand. Despite them being teenagers. Really? So Candace proclaims that the LeRub DeScrub is very exclusive and requires the proper connection that only Stacey can provide; because she knows about 500 people who loop to some worker of the spa. And Candace knows Stacey as Phineas has that look of "Damn; that is so weak of you Candace"; I know because Phineas proclaims that he is just not as connected as they are. So Stacey and Candace walk out of the house and to the driveway as Isabella shows up and she asks where they are going. Candace and Stacey proclaim that they are going to the spa to taste self-indulgence. Well; it cannot be anymore expensive to do that at home which involves chocolate and candy. A lot of both actually. Isabella calls it fun and Phineas agrees with her. Isabella comes in asking what Phineas is doing today and Phineas proclaims that they are building a spa today; and Ferb gets to do the seaweed rap which Phineas demonstrates with DJ turntable noises. Ferb has that look of "WHAT THE HELL?" before blinking his eyes (doing that blink sound that isn't funny no matter how many times they do it) and saying okay. So we head to Doofensmirtz Evil Inc and we aren't even one paragraph in nor 60 seconds in. And yes; this time we get the jingle. We pan down to Doofen in front of the building who has a country side mailbox. Yeah; he's so old school country. HEE HEE!
So Doofensmirtz gets bills and junk mail as he sort of likes the 50% discount at Slushy Burger. So we look down and we hear a cat meowing as Doofen sees a kitten which is half black and half white. Not unlike Roddy Piper at Wrestlemania VI actually. Well; almost since the kitten's face is totally white. With green eyes; which according to angry Chinese arts; means this cat is a sleazy, sinister heel pretending to be a babyface. Doofensmirtz gently grabs him and pets it like a pet. Awww; Doofensmirtz has a soft side in him. He states that he will name him Mr. Fluffy Pants (which is giggle inducing for me) which makes sense since the bottom half reminds Doofensmirtz of him wearing pants. Like a furry in a scrubbed educational show. Where furries cannot have their god-given right to not wear pants. Doofensmirtz claims that he has an uncle called Fluffy Pants which is funny and we see a picture of him which the hairstyle makes him look like an anthro fan. Seriously. HAHA! So we head back on the sidewalk with Candace and Stacey walking. They go through the options of doom for the spa; and then Jermey shows up and Candace screws up the name like an idiot. Wow; even Flanderized Miss Lips didn't suffer from that. Jeremy is wearing construction worker gear as he walks past with an orange lunchbox as he states that he is building houses of chairty today. He may be dense; but his heart is in the right place at least. Stacey is about to say no; but Candace nails Stacey with her elbow to her shoulder which she stops saying anything. That was one devastating elbow there Candace. Candace is charmed about philanthropy; which I betca Ashley cannot spell in real life. And I'm certain Candace cannot either. Stacey tries to speak; but gets elbowed which only hits the shoulder; but Stacey goes flying anyway. That is one devastating elbow and should be declared a weapon of mass destruction. No, not really.
So Jermey attempts to get a word in; but Candace cuts him off and calls for time. Stacey and Candace huddle together as Candace wants to help people for 15 minutes because he doesn't want Jermey to know about the spa thing and he'll think she's selfish. The funniest part about this and is cleverly written on Jeremy's part is that Jermey is trying to explain that he has no problem with her going to the spa today if she cannot help build homes today. So he is onto Candace already in spite of all of Candace's attempts to cut him off; including a "message is important to us" line which she speaks directly to the hard camera. She claims he's confusing Spa Day with Hurrah Day. No he isn't Candace; you're being an idiot. So Candace agrees to help him and we head to the backyard as Isabella, Holly, and Milly are bringing in stuff. When is Holly and Milly finally going to stop wearing their Fireside Girls' gear?! Is there some rule Isabella has that prevents then from wearing anything else?! I betcha they'll wear those in the spa too. I say this because Isabella is in her regular gear with the pink bowtie about 95% of the time; even when she is leading the Fireside Girls. Milly has a giant salt shaker, Holly has a giant swirly brush while Isabella brings in a cow. I am not making this up! She's got a cow lassoed and she is bringing it in while Phineas is doing his checklist on the clipboard. I'm glad that you can show cow udders on this show as Baljeet pushes a bath tub in which is supposed to be how you get bathed in milk. Ah; the old Kurt Angle special! Isabella becomes the diary queen today! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...Who's the guy who thought that joke was safe to use? I know it wasn't Mister T. Phineas asks where Buford is with the seaweed and then we get maybe the best part of this as we cut to Buford in the ocean playing tug of war with seaweed as the rope with the squid from It Came From Beneath The SeaDuck! YES! Someone other than Don Karnage got a cameo in another cartoon! And it took nearly 15 years to do it too.
This look like an obvious draw; so we head back and hear the sound of a truck beeping as Phineas tells Ferb the volcanic rock is here as we see in front of the driveway; a truck containing a mini volcano as the driver is the same guy from Lawn Gnome Beach Party Of Terror. With the grass skirt, anklets and everything. He pulls the lever on the back (JESUS~!) and the lava pours out of the volcano and into the driveway. Ummmm; yeah. The dude tells Phineas to let the thing cool and solidify before using it. Okay; good to know. So we head back to Doofensmirtz Evil Inc. and inside the lab as Doofensmirtz is watching Fluffy Pants licking from the purple bowl which appears to be cat food. Doof calls it tuna fish and talks about how sweet it is. So he goes over and we see him painting on an easel using a mech arm. Carpel Tunnel syndrome; I seem to be suffering it in my left wrist for some reason. I think. So Fluffy Pants is reading the blueprints; which Doof calls cute; and then off-screen we see blueprint paper flying around like mad. UH OH! Doofensmirtz protests this as Fluffy Pants jumps on a remote control on the floor containing a purple button. Well; that's different at least. That makes the painting arm paint over the picture and then paint all over Doof's face which turns his face into a clown. HAHA! Sadly; he doesn't paint his pants; then we can call him Mr. Laffy Pants. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hey; that would have paid off the name of the kitten at least. Doofensmirtz shakes like a dog after getting water dumped all over it; and Fluffy Pants then jumps on the device of the day which is called the Gloominator. That is actually a good booking name; although it's merely another laser device which is aimed and fired at the sky. That turns the skies into storm clouds.
We then head to in front of a frame of a house as apparently this is Danville's local branch of Habitat for Humanity. I approve of this moment. Almost. We have three girls, three boys and a black female with stereotypical red lips and black hair. She is in construction worker gear and she looks like Chyna only dark skinned. Actually; I would have been fine of this, if I didn't realize that she is voiced by April Winchell; who is not black. All are wearing hard hats; but only three seem to be wearing regulation outfits; and they are the men. Why not the girls? I don't recall Stacey, Candace nor the blond haired girl with the purple rimmed glasses being in line for a Disney Princesses deal; so why not just have them wearing construction worker gear? So the forewoman thanks them for coming and she gives the drywall duty, and conduit duty to everyone but Candace and Stacey. The forewoman apologizes to the girls; as they are going to get nail duty; which makes them shriek with glee. The arrogence of igorance is flowing like melted cheese out of these two girls as forewoman mentions that it's not manicures; making them both groan on cue. Pfft. So we head back to the backyard as Ferb brings in a palm tree; as Phineas assures him that the secret is safe with him. How is that possible Phineas? You're going to make him rap with seaweed as entertainment; how are they going to not tell? We hear another truck as Phineas calls it the last truck. So we head to the gate as two delivery workers arrive. One looks like Vern Fenwick with a line mustache; while the other one has a brown mustache and is fatter. Both wear the same color pants and boots; but the thin guy wears a belt and the fat one has buttons on his white shirt with pink trim (and matching color caps). We discover that he bought 18 cases of cuecumbers as Phineas takes the clipboard and signs it. The thin guy asks if he's a little young for this and the fat guy proclaims that he is and apologizes to him because the thin dark skinned Vern Fenwick reject is new to this. Phineas forgives and welcomes him to the job as the thin guy is not amused. Phineas then asks where Perry is four minutes into this thing; a new record for this show.
So we see Perry in the kitchen as he becomes Agent P and dives into the trash can. So we head to OWCA headquarters as we have a charming exchange with Major Monogram and Karl talking about parachute pants. Karl claims that he was making a funny; which wasn't funny at all. Agent P plops in onto the seat in front of the monitor as Monogram stammers like an idiot because he's startled. So then Monogram points out that the Tri-state area is gloomy and he thinks Doofensmirtz is behind it. Not quite Monogram; but you are close. Monogram claims that Doofensmirtz retired the gloominator which begs the question: So he agreed to this with OWCA? So this thing IS a work. In a sane universe; everyone would change the channel and watch Fanboy & Chum Chum (*shudder*); but this is the same universe that has professional wrestling, so I doubt it will happen. Anyhow; Perry salutes him as Monogram calls this a big question mark and leaves it into Perry's hands. Then Monogram blows off Karl again as Karl asks if he wants splatter or triangle parachute pants and Monogram wants the triangle one in a snap. Monogram is so dated; he needs a diagram on REALITY! See what I did there? So we see Candace and Stacey on nail duty as suddenly; it's clear skies again. WHAT?! So Stacey holds up a board as Candace is about to hammer nails; but Jeremy comes in and is happy to see them working. Candace talks like a complete fool about building of course and Jermey walks off saying cool beans; which Candace calls cool beans and legumes. This leads to Stacey getting nailed in the thumb for some reason and she gets the swollen thumb. Scene change as they are doing drywall duty. Wait; what? I thought they were on nail duty. So they put up a board of drywall near the window as Candace is exactly in the spot where the window is. She lets go and waves to Jermey and calls him dreamy as Stacey gets squashed by drywall. Yeah; this is dumb. So we cut back to Doofensmirtz Evil Inc. as Fluffy Pants is jumping on the Eraseinator which destroys a billboard featuring Perry and Doofen; which makes no sense at all; if this is supposed to be serious. Yeap; it's a work.
So Fluffy jumps onto the Biggerinator (another laser device) as it fires and it makes the moon about the size of the earth. Doofensmirtz teases looking offended; but then decides that it's pretty. Then we hear more crunching and Perry breaks down another door. Well; so much for the "don't break down the door" rule because Doofensmirtz doesn't call him out on it. Doofensmirtz claims that he didn't cause this; and it was Mr. Fluffy Pants see. So we cut to Fluffy Pants sleeping in his basket with kitty litter and purple bowl with tuna fish in it. Yeah; it was all Fluffy Pants fault. Funny how this works; since it is usually the babyface that gets these "I didn't do it; he did it!" spots. Doofensmirtz has this smile that he realizes that he is screwed as he points out why he's called Mr. Fluffy Pants because he's fluffy and looks like he's wearing pants. Then we reference Doof's uncle as we zoom out and he doesn't wear any pant. Unless you count the heart shaped white underpants he is wearing; despite looking like a general from the General Washington era. Doofensmirtz questions why they gave him that nickname. Ummm; because he's wearing heart shaped white underpants. What part of Fluffy "Pants" do you not understand Doofen? Doofen claims that he likes nicknames and calls Perry Mr. Duckbill Face; and Monogram known as Monobrow. Ummmm; I think you mean Unibrow, which would be funny and fitting if Monogram was Italian. Karl is known as Doctor Coconut. Which makes absolutely no sense and that was intentional because even Doofen is confused. So Perry jumps up out of nowhere and punches him in the face. Oh come on Perry! Just because he rightfully accused Fluffy Pants of petty crimes doesn't mean he is going to harm you in anyway. So we head back to the construction site as Stacey is getting some plaster to put on the wall; and then Candace runs in with wallpaper and she's so distracted by Jermey's twirl of the third buckle (or something like that) that she unintentionally wraps Stacey into the wall with wall paper. HAHA!
Stacey tries to scream; but it is muffled as Candace is in la-la land about Jermey as she claims that she wants to marry him and have two children named Xavier and Armanda. Would it be a shock to you if I told you that this will be paid off later on? Stacey rips through the wall paper and she has had enough of this stupidity on Candace's part because they have five minutes left before the appointment starts. The forewoman comes in and is going over Stacey's head as she hands her a jackhammer and tells her to get the little task of turning the rocks into rubble by sundown. So apparently; this is Stacey's "punishment" for thinking about herself instead of the less forturnate as the forewoman leaves. Jermey comes in and proclaims that he built his side of the house and he leaves stage left. Candace is so charmed that she bumps into Stacey which somehow starts the jackhammer which is wired for no reason that I can think of and we jackhammer the point home of destroying the entire house right to the foundation. I'm more impressed that the jackhammer somehow didn't cut the wire it was attached to during this sequence of events. So we see Candace and Stacey looking roughed us as Stacey has drywall stuff in her hair which she shouldn't complain since Oscar's afro is always containing out of nowhere objects. Candace apologizes for screwing up and losing sight of Jermey; but Stacey cuts her off and blows her off. Not because she screwed up; but because she sounds like an afternoon special on television in the 1990's. The music done before Candace was cut off is evidence number one on that front. Stacey then goes into a long winded list of stuff Candace did to her (another reference to kill even); but she's fine with it because she did it out of love for Jermey and that's all that matters. Candace then proclaims that it's really because Candace was getting "revenge" for Stacey gluing a hamster on her hair to impress some jabroni named Billy Clark. They sigh in dreamy mode as Candace thinks that they are even now.
So they walk into the backyard and they both do the overwrought swear in dubbed anime style because there is an outdoor spa in the backyard. There is a concrete zen fountain as we look around and see Buford in the hot tub having a bubble bath; claiming that it's not plugged in. That sounds perverted to me. Candace and Stacey are in shock as Phineas & Ferb walk towards them claiming that they looked wiped out. Phineas grabs Candace's hand and wants to do a sap day with them. So Candace teases with the "you are so busted" thing; but Stacey invokes the dreaded eye contact violence which makes Candace surrender and smile that she'll take the spa treatment. Yeah; I'm suppose to buy that eye contact violence would work from someone who is about 100 pounds soaking wet. If Stacey was Hoppo; then it makes sense, otherwise, it doesn't work as a compelling way to change their minds. So we HIT THE MONTAGE and here's what happens: Candace and Stacey are on a conveyer belt surrounded by a purple background with white saw blade designs. Don't ask me why they picked that. So we get the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM which is mellow music you hear in an elevator. Geez; now I know why I ever had one of those days. And the fact that I'm a 420 pound loser typing three rants a week for no reason and work for four days a week. So we see the Fireside Girls all doing spa spots including walking on Stacey and Candace with their bare feet. Holly gets a real glorified shot of hers as Stacey's bow turns from purple to blue on that shot...and then Ferb and Phineas start the rap. Oh goody! We have the pay off to the seaweed rap spot. This was is probably the goofiest one to date; until Gunther does his "Don't Do It Like That" rap which is the standard for all rapping in the new Disney. Lots more spa spots including tearing hair off someone's back. I'm guessing it's either Buford or the short fat worker with brown hair from earlier.
So we see a girl with cuecumber slices on her eyes with headphones on (which look like my new ones actually) against the same type of background; except it's puke green and we play new age theme music. I see the 700 Club is asleep at the wheel again; or just stopped car....Oh wait; asleep at the wheel, my mistake. Ferb raps some more with Phineas as they say Shiatsu which means finger pressure in Japanese and sadly, the writers use a sneezing reference instead which makes no sense at all. Although the visual background does make sense as Phineas calls it the good type. I don't think there is such a thing as a good type; because Wikipedia claims that there is no evidence that this does anything. Oh; and we get aromatherapy as Phineas & Ferb are surrounded by scented lit candles. Ummm; yeah. The black guy doing the finger pressure BS is from Dutch, PA and he saids it backwards like a Japanese person saying their last name first. More rapping and dancing as I'm not calling this since it's so goofy and most of the treatments are BS anyway. So it ends with a jump cut to the middle of the backyard as Candace and Stacey are on the table covered in blankets and cuecumber slices on their eyes. And they are barefoot too as Phineas proclaims that they are their last customers; but they are welcome to stay as long as they like. So Phineas & Ferb exit stage left to close up shop as the two teenagers lie there on their backs relaxing. I should note that the Fireside Girls were dancing in the background during this and when this song ends; it goes back to mellow music on the jump cut. So we head back to Doofensmirtz's lab of doom as Doof is on his belly on the ground as Perry has him in a hammerlock. And no; he's not using a real hammer this time. Doofensmirtz begs for mercy because it's the kitten's fault. I swear to god it was the kitten who did it! Doof gets his hand free somehow to point as we see Fluffy Pants on the Eraseinator and it shoots a beam towards the spa in the backyard and all of it is gone with the exception of the two girls on the table. Linda comes in asking what they are doing and Candace claims that they are enjoying a spa treatment. Linda has no clue what she is talking about despite the fact that the girls are on a table in blankets relaxing with cuecumber slices in their eyes. Never mind that Linda had a spa treatment of her own IN THE FIRST SEASON! DUMB!
So Candace is about to bust the boys; and then asks if the spa is gone and then sighs as we head back to Perry and Doofensmirtz still in the hammerlock as Doof points out the truth to Agent P; and then Fluffy Pants loses his balance and is about to free fall; but Doofensmirtz grabs him at the last second. However; Doof overreaches on his selling of liking the kitty that he falls over the building and free falls. Yeah; we are so not stealing from A Bad Reflection On You part 1 with Kit and the bear baby. I'm fine with it; since the copyright on that gimmick has expired a long time ago anyway. So Doof blows off Fluffy Pants for being more trouble than it's worth and Perr jumps down; grabs Doofen and opens a parachute complete with Perry jingle. Then we get the flip flop scene changer (Wow; that was different) as they are already on the ground safe and sound for no reason. There had to be a time cut because there was nothing wrong about landing on the ground safely. So Doofensmirtz is cuddling the kitty as a brown haired boy in a lime green shirt arrives with a paper showing Fluffy Pants in a picture along with a phone number 555-0102 (fake Santa Fe number it seems); and it sezs Mr. Cat. Wow boy; no wonder he ran away from you. He got a boring booking name from you. So Doofen teases not giving the kitten back; but then groans about doing the right thing despite being a heel; and he gives the cat back to the boy. We hear the crowd go awww; as we zoom out to see about 15 people on both sides looking on feeling great about this moment. The music is cut off and Doofen blows them off for doing this instead of getting a job. HAHA! Good one Doofensmirtz; good one. So we fade to black and head for the ED and this has to be the dumbest and funniest ending I have seen in this series; and probably the first awesome/funny moment for Karl. Yes Karl. So here's what happens: Karl pulls down the blinds inside his room (yes; he is a teenager, why do you ask) and then has a 1980's style green cassette recorder and pushes play. When we finally see him fully; he is wearing a grass skirt, coconut bra, and doctor gear on with the white coat, brown pants and sneakers. There is tropical music playing in the background as he's dancing to Doctor Coconut. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Great payoff to Doofen's nicknames I might add. Yeah; Karl has a better life than Monogram. Sadly; this would have been even funnier if he was wearing the splattered parachute pants and then Monogram comes in and they do a duet. Oh well; that ends the episode at 21:37. Another Phineas & Ferb love in with Fluffy Pants being awesome and Stacey getting buried both literally and figurally. *** 1/2 (70%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; I don't have much to say about these two shorts. Both had their really funny moments; most so Karl's dance at the end of Spa Day; but there wasn't really anything outstanding about the episodes either. Sure; some of the plotlines have been adjusted in both shorts to give some varity. However; none of these changes stopped the logic breaks and sloppiness of the show as a whole. There are too many mistakes to not be noticable. No More Bunny Business was a great formula change that made me laugh as it was opposite day: Phineas gets screwed and Doofensmirtz loses to a plant; which I admit was really funny; but the ending made no sense to me because they teased it as Perry showing up in a pink dress and it never happened. Spa Day was more of the same where there was lots to laugh at; but it was sloppy as well. I didn't buy Linda at the finish because of what happened in season one and Stacey was basically a play thing like Fimberly throughout most of her time on screen thanks to Candace being entranced by Jermey being densely awesome as usual. And when are people going to realize that having a white person voice a black character is going to open you to accusations of racism; and stop doing that? Was Cree Summer or Candi Milo busy or something. What about Roz Ryan? She voiced Miss Fritizpatrick in Kick Buttowski and no one complained about that; not even me. So overall; it was middling shorts through out. So next up is Split Personality and Brain Drain as more brain sucking fun will continue. I think. So....
Thumbs in the middle for both shorts and I'll see you all next time.