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Phineas & Ferb: Split Personality/Brain Drain
Reviewed: 02/02/2014
The Brain Personality Got A Drain Split!
Time for more Perry Files action as we examine episodes #108 (2-35a) and #109 (2-35b) on the animation paper. One features Candace getting clones of herself in her neverending quest to bust her brothers while getting Jermey. All while Doofensmirtz is trying to hide the shame of the fact that he fears the high diving act. Then from there; we discover that Phineas and company are sick; so they make the best sick day ever with television feeds. Meanwhile; Doofensmirtz is trying to drain Perry's brain in order to make him his mind slave and at the same time we start the big angles involving Doofensmirtz's family. Yes; he has one. Let's rant on shall we...?!
Split Personality is written and storyboarded by Antoine Gulibaud and Aliki Theofilopoulos-Grafft. The story is done by Jennifer Keene, Lance LeCompte and Scott Peterson. Lance has only Phineas & Ferb and Brandy & Mr. Whiskers to his resume. Brain Drain is written and storyboarded by J.G. Orrantia and Kaz . Joe Orrantia began working on Big House Blues as an assistant animator in 1990. Then he did layout for the Ren & Stimpy Show, The Cartoon Cartoon Show, Dexter's Lab, Extreme Ghostbusters, Smart House, Anastasia, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy and The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto. Phineas & Ferb is his DTVA debut and only appearance. That's it. Kaz Prapuolenis is mostly Spongebob Squarepants and Camp Lazlo. However; he also did additional storyboard for Corpse's Bride in 2005. His debut was a short Thanks a Latte doing artwork and also directed a video called God Hates Cartoons. ZOINKS! Other than appearing as himself in the documentary Beauty is Embarrassing in 2012; Phineas & Ferb is his DTVA debut, only appearance and most recent credit. That's it. Story editing for both episode are done by Scott Peterson. Animation is done by Rough Draft.
Spilt Personality: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM; and then inside Candace's room as Candace is kneeling on her bed while using her shoulder blade to hold up the cellphone. And yes; she's talking to Stacey again, like about 90% of every episode in this series thus far. Apparently; she is trimming pictures of Jermey and is pasting them in a photo album; while complaining about not having enough time to bust her brothers and spend time with "Mr. Excitement" himself. Basically; she's cutting all the drunk photos of herself with Jermey and combining the cute ones of herself with Jeremy so that she doesn't appear to have Baloo Camera Syndrome (see A Bad Reflection On You part one). Candace cuts off Stacey for a moment and uses the binoculars to spy out of the window. But then returns claiming that seeing the boys dork it up is boring to her. So we head to the backyard as Buford has Baljeet under his arm like Baloo had Kit in My Fair Baloo; only Buford is offended by Baljeet's indiscretions. Phineas looks sharp and Ferb is basically himself as apparently; Baljeet got peanut butter on his chocolate bar which is basically a spot with peanut butter and a bucket of bait in All's Whale That Ends Whale. So Buford slams the peanut butter coated chocolate bar into Phineas' nose and complains as Phineas points out that peanut butter and chocolate go really well together. Why do I get the feeling that Buford is complaining because he has a peanut allergy? I hope he doesn't because otherwise, an allergy turns him babyface and babyface Buford is not good. Buford thankfully tells us that he hates to taste two things together because it's unnatural. No one can accuse Buford of not being arrogant that much I am certain. Phineas claims that they are in luck because they have completed a device called the Molecular Separator. You know the world has pass you by when the kids can come up with much more fitting booking names than the adults. So we see that they used it on a mule and separate it from a donkey and a horse. Then they show the shampoo bottle which contains conditioner; into shampoo and conditioner bottles. Okay.
So Ferb places the peanut butter coated chocolate bar on a stool and the MS is basically a geeky video camera with blue handles on the side. He pushes the handle and the laser beam hits the chocolate bar and disappears. It instantly reappears without the peanut butter on it; and there is a jar of peanut butter in it's place. It reminds me of Oscar's baking skills in Flores Doris Gorgeous. Buford calls this witchcraft and I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. He takes the chocolate bar and eats it. Buford likes it and then walks away with Baljeet because he's going to do the old bully underpants up the flagpole trick again. Phineas ignores that fact as usual; as we cut to Perry near a small rock as he stomps on it to reveal a secret slide tunnel. He turns into Agent P and jumps into the hole. He then plops in the chair in front of the monitor of OWCA headquarters. Major Monogram is startled; but then talks about Doctor Doofensmirtz being seen at the Danville public pool installing some new device; and he needs to be stopped. Good luck Agent P; salute of doom and leave. So we head to the backyard again as Candace comes out and proclaims that the boys are so busted again. Geez; it's only a Molecular Separator Candace! You don't have to be such an asshole; just to stroke your ego you know. So she grabs the device and pushes the handle unintentionally. She gets zapped and separated as we see the left Candace acting all evil; while the right Candace is seduced with thoughts of Jermey and has an out of nowhere white daisy in her hair; thus combining NegaDuck and Her Chance To Dream all in one shot. They look at each other and then we cut to a sky shot of the Danville Pool as we see Doofensmirtz standing as if his back is bent backwards; wearing grey striped shorts and has hairy calves. I've been worse shaped swimmers than this as Perry arrives right in the full view of the adults who don't seem all that concerned that there is a platypus standing on it's hind legs wearing a hat. So the only way that his cover can be blown is if Phineas & Ferb find out who Perry really is? That's dumb.
Doofen seems happy to see Perry anyway because well; he's going to use the high diving board and talks about his flashback as a boy (who is wearing a matching grey striped shirt in addition to the trunks) to dive off the high diving board into the Gimmelshtoomp Public Wetness Maker pool. That made me laugh. So anyhow; his daddy and mommy want him to perform the dive as a rite of passage to manhood. Basically; the Public Wetness Maker is exactly the same pool as Danville; only with an old country look to it. And a pipe with raw sewage at the end of said pipe. Basically; it only had water once every second Thursday. The viking father of Doofensmirtz yells if he's a man or a schnitzel (In reality: a schnitzel is a German/Austria escalope (boneless meat) coated in breadcrumbs and fried; not unlike fried chicken.) which is a lame insult. Young Doofensmirtz is afraid of heights of course; but he still manages to climb up to the top of the diving board without a hitch. And then he lays down on the diving board; hanging on as the locals speak in German that he's a boneless piece of meat fried with breadcrumbs. They laugh at him and that apparently is preventing Doofensmirtz from doing the deed. Dad speaks in German that he has no son and then they walk off as Doofen is back in his old country clothes walking behind his mother and father with paper bags of shame on their heads. Dad yells in German that he's too close and Doofen stops for about five seconds before carrying on stage right. Actually considering that Doofensmirtz's dad seems to like to haze Doofen (making him stand still like a lawn gnome); Doofensmirtz not having a father to go back to seems to be for the best. So we head back to reality (no, not really) as Doofensmirtz reveals his evil plan of the day which is to conquer the high diving board; but he doesn't want people to make fun of him (it doesn't help when your name is Doofensmirtz or you have a beanpole shaped body.). So he created another device of the day called the Look Away-inator which seems to be damaged since the base of the device has a crack in it and it leaking Gedo fashion sense lasers on innocent victims. That's EVIL~!
Anyhow; at least two swimmers walk into the direct path of where the device is going to fire and the crack fires yellow lasers on each one; and they look away and somehow walk into the pool despite the fact that they were walking on the side of the pool instead of walking straight at the pool. Bad logic break there guys. Almost Spongebob Trick-equse in fact. Doofensmirtz proclaims that everyone in the Tri-State area will look away when he uses the device and thus admitting that drivers and brain surgeons are seriously going to screw up. Doofensmirtz proclaims that it's a small price to pay to him displaying his manliness right. Perry is not amused by this; so Doofensmirtz brings out the remote control and pushes the button as it drops three or four life preservers on Doofensmirtz; binding him down. Sadly; there are no animal rights activists running in to save Agent P. So we head inside Candace's room as Candace Romance is putting dozens of pictures of Jermey all over her walls and bedroom ceilings as there is love in the air. Did I mention that there is a life like statue of Jermey, a foil balloon of Jermey and cupid hanging from the ceiling? There are decorations everywhere; most of them about Jermey. This actually is worth it because Candace Buster is at the door yelling OMG at her; and she gets on the cellphone and yells at Linda that Phineas & Ferb made her. Linda proclaims that the stretch marks on her body say that Candace is full of crap. It's nice to know that this show at least isn't BS&P'ing child birth methods in the real world. In the past; it is always the stork. Anyhow; Candace Buster tries to explain herself; but she is losing credibility with each passing second as Linda is shopping for clothes by the way. So Candace B gives Candace R the phone and Candace R mistakes Linda for Jermey before catching herself. Linda calls it a nice imination of herself and then hangs up. HAHA! Time to invest in Skype Candace B. Speaking of the boys she is trying to bust; we see Phineas & Ferb coming in from the background as they say hello to both Candaces. And then they catch themselves as Phineas states that there is a change in plans.
So they head inside as Candace B is blowing off Candace R for being so touchy-feely. Geez; she really is an asshole in split form. Which one? The B one; although the R one is annoying too, albeit for a different reason. Phineas offers to use the Molecular Separator in reverse to restore the Candace's to normal; but Candace B no sells because she will bust them right now! She runs off to the Googalplex mall to find Linda; while Candace R (the one with the flower in her hair mind you) follows her in kind as Phineas proclaims that he now knows what they are going to do today. So we head to the Googalplex Mall as both Candaces run into the entrance and then go in opposite directions. Take one guess where each one is going and we hit the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM! Me, Myself And I don't see eye to eye. No kidding. Just a bunch of spots that don't advance the plot one bit as Candace R has Jermey/Candace marriage on the eyes and the brain. Phineas joins in along with Linda on the chase scenes while Linda is reading a red covered book. Why? I have no idea. Lots of dancing with jackhammered backgrounds; including the lavender arrows, shadow clones and black background ensue and we finally end the song as the guise of the song is that they can co-exist apart more than they can separate and they love being themselves instead of being together as one person. Ashley's singing is clearly sweetened here; but it sounds good due to that; so I don't care. So we head to a vendor who is selling various sunglasses called Specs; because they have 50% off sunglasses today. Linda is putting on green rimmed glasses on just as Candace R waltzes on in and asks about Jermey; which Linda asks if he is still working at the hotdog stand. Candace R thanks her and walks off stage left. Then Candace B runs in and demands to know where she is; and Linda claims that she already seen her. Candace B blows Linda off and runs off stage left. The store clerk asks about twins and Linda is confused as hell.
Specs Store Clerk is provided by Kimberly Brooks and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): An American voice actress in the anime, feature films, video games, and theatre industry. She started her acting career when she was nine. She is best known for her role as Ashley Williams in the Mass Effect series, Barbara Gordon/Oracle in Batman: Arkham Asylum and Batman: Arkham City and Shinobu Jacobs in No More Heroes and No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle and Luna in the Scooby-Doo franchise as part of the Hex Girls. She is basically a video game voice talent who started with Goosebumps: Attack Of The Mutant (Dinah) and Dark Reign: Future of War as the CPU in 1997. She then started in cartoons with The Powerpuff Girls (Joey) and Scooby-Doo & The Witches Ghost as Luna. She also appeared in Dexter's Lab in 1996 as Mee-Mee. Phineas & Ferb is her DTVA debut and she has appeared in Gravity Falls, Motorcity (Mrs. Gordy), and Doc McStuffins as Mom. Justice League: War as Darla is her most recent credit. She has 79 acting credits and one Self credit to her resume. So we head back to in front of the diving board as Doofensmirtz's fear of heights is coming back as he looks up and sees a bird somehow bump into the diving board and fall like a dying seagull. The brown haired man in swimming trunk is not amused by this; so Doofensmirtz offers the man the honor of going ahead of him because he is in no hurry. The man accept and climbs up the diving board. Then a little kid in swimming trunks appears and I'm certain he is the same boy who was looking for Mr. Fluffy Pants in the previous rant; as he blows Doofensmirtz off for no reason. So we head to the Slushy Dawg as Jeremy gives a corn dog on a stick to a brown haired male kid wearing a green shirt and green sneakers with blue pocket shorts. What is this about drawing pants on Kit Cloudkicker being too hard? The kid leaves as Candace B shows up (wait, what? I thought Candace R asked about Jermey first?) and we get the usual confusing exchange that makes them both look like idiots; and then Candace B storms off of course.
Let's just say that if Jermey sees her with a flower in her hair to tell her before leaving. So in waltzes Candace R as Jermey is creeped out by all this (so am I; albeit for a different reason) as Candace R stares at him for a bit; and then Jermey proclaims that after his shift is over. So they are about to kiss; but then Candace B somehow runs in from behind (despite running stage left earlier) and grabs Candace R; leaving stage right. Phineas & Ferb come in -- from the same way Candace B was escaping with Candace R mind you -- asking where Candace is. The conversation goes like this: Which Candace did you see? Both. And one of them is carrying Candace to Linda after Jermey told them that he'll stop by after work is over. Phineas proclaims that they need to find Linda in order to find both Candaces. Linda must be in league with these two; because that's the only way I can explain Phineas being all right with this plan. So we head back to the pool as Doofensmirtz still refuses to go up the diving board as the kid is taunting him as a schnitzel again. Lame! Doofen is offended and climb up the stairs to the diving board blowing off the kid in response. So Doof gets on the white diving board on his feet and he proclaims that this is as bad as he remembers it. Then we get a sky shot as the background containing the pool zooms out quite a bit to simulate that from Doofensmirtz's POV; it's much higher, thus Doofensmirtz panics and hangs onto the board claiming that this is much worse. The boy calls him a schnitzel again (get a new insult kid!) and we head to the clothes shopping store as Candace B runs into the store with Candace R and into the entrance leading to the dressing as Candace B calls out for Linda and out she comes looking like Mork from Mork & Mindy with those rainbow suspenders. Candace B tries to show off Candace R; but Candace R has run off without a trace. Linda is not amused; and I cannot take her seriously in that outfit so she's hosed. Linda sees four of them in the mirror of course and Candace B is a pissant as she tells her not to move because she'll be right back.
Linda sighs at this as we see Candace B running in front of the gift store chanting bust in rapid fire. Candace B goes out of sight as we see Candace R running out of the shop stage left with the rainbow picture frame she saw in the store during the singing number. So there is your payoff to that as she meets Linda. Linda asks Candace R about having a ride home and she stammers a bit before Phineas & Ferb walk in informing Candace R about Jermey and she agrees on the ride home. Linda asks if the boys want to join in; but they say that they'll meet at home soon. So Candace R and Linda leave as Phineas proclaims that there is one more left. And here she comes yelling up a storm as Phineas tells her that she's riding home with Linda. Candace B screeches and her emoting is amazing here as she manages to sound like a squeaky train stopping. She runs off as Phineas proclaims that if the MS doesn't disappear; it's time to destroy it. Ferb agrees with this as we head to inside the car with Linda driving and Candace R acting all giddy for Jeremy while hugging the rainbow star picture frame. That is so.....odd? Linda has that look of "what?" on her face. So we see Candace B running from behind and she is faster than a freakin car. The car has to pretend that it's slower than Candace F'N B! The car manages to stop in front of the house on the sidewalk (a sign that Linda has been with Phineas all along in these schemes) and stops the car just at the moment Candace B collides into the back of the car. OUCH! That had to leave a mark! On the car. So Candace R and Linda get out and head inside as Candace R heads upstairs to freshen up for Jeremy. So Candace B storms in and demands to know where Candace B is and Linda isn't buying her crap which makes Candace B angry of course.
So we head back to the diving board as a male voice is complaining some more and apparently; that kid has not stopped using that lame insult while Doofen is still holding onto the board. I know this because the boy finally climbs up; steps over Doofensmirtz, blows him off and cannon balls off the diving board into the pool. The kid pops up and all the swimmers (including the Forewoman from the previous rant) cheer him as a man as Doofensmirtz whimpers on the board. He is now one step away from Dave The Barbarian levels of cowardice. All he needs to do now is hide behind a puppy. Okay; so we head back to the backyard in front of Candace's front window as Phineas calls for Candace R and she opens the window as Phineas tells her Jermey is here; which we see Ferb dressed up as Jermey (check the hair length; I'm not fooled guys!) which doesn't look convincing; but Candace R goes away from the window in glee. Phineas proclaims that love is truly blind as Ferb is wondering why the hell he got involved in this. So we head back to the diving board as Doof slowly gets up on the diving board and brings out the out of nowhere remote (how he stuffed it in his trunks is a question that will never be answered well.) and he flips the red switch and the laser gun fires and we see various shots of mayhem; statues crumbling and brain surgery done wrong. What; no car crash? That's sloppy continuity guys. By the way; in the surgery room the three men look away as we clearly see the brain of a female on the surgeons table waking up saying "I taste lilacs"; as they talk about life insurance. So yes; even the new Disney shows opened up heads. We head back to the backyard as Candace R goes in with glee and Candace B runs in with fury and rage. They grab each other and Phineas orders Ferb to shoot the beam and does; and it creates 13 Candaces much like the 13 Ghosts of Scooby Doo. Chattering ensues as Phineas goes all yikes on us. Then in comes Linda and the Look Away-inator beam hits them too as Linda looks away and we see the 13 Candaces reduce to five for no good reason. I guess eight of them went for a smoke break and didn't return.
So back to the diving board as Doofensmirtz gets hit as he is still trying to get his bearings; and he realizes that he's screwed as he manages to dive off the board and hits the water like it was solid ground. Yes; he is so light weighted that even water is heavier than he is; thus he floats on the top like he's splattered on a concrete floor or something. Then logic breaks and he cannot swim because he really is a schnitzel. Wait; I thought not diving made him a schnitzel? Where does it say actual swimming make you into a man. Anyhow; Doof struggles to stay above water as Perry gets his life preservers off of him and one of them flies and goes around Doofensmirtz's body like a post in ring toss. Doofensmirtz does the paradox spot of thanking and cursing Perry at the same time. At least now; he's only half a schnitzel instead of the full one they were shooting for. So we head back to the backyard as everyone is looking towards the left; with only the Candaces looking at Linda; but are distracted. Apparently two of them return from their smoke break too. Phineas questions why they are looking at nothing of note and both he and Ferb stop selling and push the handle on the MS as all 13 Candace's magically return when the beam hits them and they all turn back into one Candace. So Candace steps on the rock Perry stepped on earlier (which seems to be closer to the side door than I had expected) and the trapdoor opens which conveniently has the MS on it. So we head to OWCA headquarters as the MS plops onto the chair and zaps the monitor. This makes no sense at all because somehow we have two Major Monograms; as Monogram's double has blond hair and a different suit; and he loves to sing. The original Monogram blows it off because it was supposed to be a secret he cannot tell. So we see Linda finally stop selling and ask about having many more people to Candace and Candace sulks and claims she has nothing. Linda walks off not amused by this either.
So Candace whines about screwing it up even with two Candaces; and then Jermey shows up with the picture frame which causes Candace to stammer like an idiot as usual. Jermey thinks this was cool and all it needs is a picture. Candace asks Phineas & Ferb about that and they have the out of nowhere camera on a tripod as Ferb wants them to say cheese in French. They say cheese in French; but Ferb snaps the photo as if they said it in English. In other words; a second too early as we see the happy couple looking like total losers in the photo shot against the black background. That ends the episode at 10:19. This was just there mostly due to the Doofensmirtz diving board stuff and flashback which did make me laugh. Otherwise; it was boring, heatless and sloppy with a half dozen Disney Afternoon show references and little else. ** 1/4 (45%).
Brain Drain: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM and then inside Phineas & Ferb's bedroom as Linda is standing at the door informing them that she is going to the store to get as much Mucus Be Gone as she can carry. She asks if they will be all right alone and we see the full room which has a lot of blue walls. Phineas is lying in a bed with a water raft frame. And I do mean an actual inflatable raft; which 35 Phineas on one of the raft's inflatable sides (the bottom right side post). Behind him is a fish tank poorly drawn and animated of course; so it might be a fake. Ferb is lying in a bed with a lot of purple covers and head rest. It's behind a shelf containing some science stuff and a lamp. In between them there is a weird light bulb that is big and emmits blue, green and pink inside. Yes; there is a poorly drawn lawn gnome in the background. Anyway; enough of the room, Phineas and Ferb look legit sick; but Phineas still sells with a smile claiming that they will be fine. Linda leaves and closes the door. Then the door opens and Candace is there realizing that indeed; they are not faking it. Phineas sneezes remembering to use tissues to blow his nose. Nice. He proclaims that nothing can bring them down. He's wrong; there is something that can bring them down....Bad ratings (I mention this because the most recent new episodes of Phineas & Ferb are drawing around 1.8 on Disney Channel. However; that is still better than Fish Hooks which drew their lowest ratings with the Camp Salmons 22 minute episode recently at 1.7.)!! Candace proclaims that they are disabled so she gets the whole day to herself; and she's going to do stuff that involves Jermey in some way. She is obsessed with Jermey see; which I stop being offended to long ago because it's the new Disney and it rules. She is also going to stalk and spy on Jermey behind the Weave & Wig shop. Why bother with that when Jermey has demonstrated that he likes you enough for you to stand face to face with him. Jermey needs to stop seeing her; he's going to get screwed in a way that he doesn't want to be screwed. Candace proclaims that this is the best sick day ever for her and slams the door as she leaves. Jerk.
So Phineas ponders the best sick day ever and tries to do the "I know what we are going to do today"; but coughs before he can complete his statement. So we discover that Ferb has a remote control and we have a video game backup system day. So a giant projector screen comes out and then we blue screen; and we are using a weird version of Skype. We discover that Phineas is on headset talking to Isabella on headset in bed wearing purple pjs and a purple bow as she's sneezing after asking what Phineas is doing. Ferb shows up on headset; and then we discover that there are screens for Baljeet and Buford as Buford's hair is suffering from a mild case of bed head. Buford has a green one piece pj suit with a skull on the left shoulder. Everyone except Buford sneezes and coughs on cue and it's clear Buford is lazy because he's not sick. Phineas is cool with it; well, he thinks anyway as he asks where Perry is. So we see Perry outside in the hallway putting on a white mouth mask and then changing to Agent P. He runs off and then we jump cut to him plopping down in the chair in front of the monitor at OWCA headquarters. Major Monogram is surprised that Perry is a germaphobe like Karl as Karl proclaims that it's not the germs; it's the garlic smell. Monogram wants him to spit it out now and Karl just sezs never mind. So Karl is secretly the opposite of Perry in that he likes germs and disease. Is Karl Mike Adam's son and I didn't realize it?! So Monogram informs Agent P that Doofensmirtz is racking up huge bills as of late at Brain, Bath and Beyond (Memo to Monogram: "in Brain, Bath and Beyond" is not correct in terms of grammar. Even "I" can see this mistake and I'm no perfect salad in that department.) as we see the store with a brain and a bath tub on the sign. Apparently; this is the largest warehouse in mind control. Wait; so someone opened a mind control warehouse store in plain sight and no one thought it was considering something less than honest? I would calls this BS in Shieky speak; but I have accepted that this angle is all a work, so it's not worth it. Monogram tells Perry to get to the bottom of this and the screen goes fuzzy.
Okay; here's what happens next: Perry gets out of the chair and hops into his white rocket corvette (as seen before in Season one) and rockets up. We get a shot of the house as we see Linda's car parked in the driveway. Suddenly the car splits into two; and a trapdoor opens beneath it. Perry's rocket car rises and flies away as the trapdoor closes and the car is put back together again and it looks like nothing has happened. Yeah. So Agent P flies to Doofensmirtz Evil Inc as the rocket car lands in the lab (I'm guessing he broke through the ceiling) and Perry gets out. We hear Doofensmirtz's voice without any echo whatsoever as he greets Perry. Then Perry sits down in a wooden chair at the conveniently placed wooden table like a total idiot. Doofen swings down like Tarzan; only it's the King of The Drapes versions as he puts a goofy looking alien helmet on Perry and Doofen lands perfectly on the ground. Doofensmirtz calls the helmet that makes Perry look like a complete tool the De-Volition-inator. Yeah; Doofensmirtz is running out of good booking names for his devices, what a surprise. It's a mind control helmet that sucks the brain matter out of Perry. Doofensmirtz tries to explain the difference between this and his De-evolution-inator from a few schemes ago in that volition is free will and evolution is just monkey business in roundabout terms. Maybe in this world Doofensmirtz; but not here. Try again you goofball ID joke! So Doofen brings out the most complex white remote control I have seen and it might be a piece of Gizmoduck's suit now that I think about it. He pushes the button and Perry is forced to stand up at attention. Doofen asks how Perry feels and Perry hisses at him. So; he isn't brainwashed, he simply cannot control himself. Doofensmirtz mocks him as he marches Perry out of the house as we discover that Doofensmirtz has to pick up his daughter at 5 pm. Yes folks; this evil scientist has offspring! Wonderful! Yeah; the big angle is here folks. We discover that her name is Vanessa who Perry should remember since Agent P crashed a party when she was around. Oh boy!
So we head back to Phineas' room as Phineas asks who wants to go first as they have their SNES reject controllers at the ready. They all want to be picked first; so Phineas goes to the computer to decide and we see that the game is basically a G-rated version of Mortal Kombat; only the fighters are actually the kids who are digitalized. So the computer picks Buford against Isabella which Buford loves because he is a sexist. This is not going to end well...for Buford. Buford and Isabella appear on screen next to a background which looks like China. So Buford is Mike Bison while Isabella is Rose from Street Fighter Alpha 2. I say this because Buford does Balrog's uppercut (Balrog the boxer from Street Fighter II American version; not the Spanish bullfighter from Street Fighter II Japanese version); and almost murders Isabella to the ground. But Isabella makes the super herorine comeback and I realize that she is cosplaying Rose because she uses her Patch Sash like Rose from the game and it wraps around Buford and she twirls him around. Now if you think taking a throw causes more damage than punches; then witness Isabella doing this move on Buford which is basically the reject Butterbear whirlwind spot, and it drains ALL of Buford's life. SF 2's throws now officially suck and even less cheap than this move. Buford disappears and the announcer proclaims that Isabella wins and sounds like a stereotype of what the Rock thinks HHH sounds like. Oh; and the Patch Sash is a parody of a smash move in Super Smash Brothers. Isabella does me proud by doing Homer Simpson's "In your face" promo before wheezing again. Buford has been sashed! So we head to the streets of Danville as we see Charlene (yeah; it has been a while since we last saw her) driving her purple car and we see a brown haired female in a sexy hot black leather jacket; so she's cool. Now; this would not be unusual; except this has a Doofensmirtz jingle as we discover that this is Doofensmirtz's ex-wife sedan.
Yes folks; Charlene was Heniz Doofensmirtz's beloved! My mind is officially blown. I mean think about it: Doofensmirtz does all these evil things; and he had an ex-beloved and a daughter! Yeah; this is so bad it's funny. Which means the black leather jacket wearing brown haired female is Vanessa Doofensmirtz. Vanessa is voiced by Olivia Olson who has started her career with Love Actually as Joanna Anderson in 2003. Her acting credits: The Tracey Morgan Show (Julia), Zoey 101 as Girl #1, Adventure Time as Marceline Abadeer and Candy Person #39. Phineas & Ferb is her DTVA debut and only appearance and her most recent credit. She also made Self appearances on Ellen: The Ellen DeGeneres Show, The Wayne Brady Show and What Are Pat & Billy Drinking? That's it. So Vanessa makes some small talk with Charlene because she's going to the Danville Scrap Yard for an Invasion party of some kind. Wait; so she's a tough person biker? Am I watching Hellcats again? Now despite the fact that Charlene has divorced from Heniz; she defends him by claiming that he's trying. Vanessa does the Gruffi pose because in her mind; trying equals embarrassing her in front of the only people whom her opinions matter. Her peers of course. Hey; they don't call it "peer pressure" for no reason you know. Anyhow; Charlene claims that she is getting her nails done so she won't be able to pick her up so Heniz is going to do it. Vanessa points out the last time this happened as we HIT THE FLASHBACK~! And what a flashback this is as Vanessa is with her male peers and we hear Doofensmirtz calling for Vanessa. Then we cut to Doofensmirtz....BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay; I'm done. He is sitting on the street on a tricycle with a red wagon attached to the back; and he's wearing a diaper and a blue bonnet. That's it. A tricycle with an orange frame, red pedals and a yellow seat. That is weird. The males all laugh at her. Vanessa gets on the red wagon as Doofensmirtz tells her not to ask. Don't worry Doofen; she won't and drives away.
So we return to reality (no, not really) as Vanessa wants Charlene to stop the car now so she can save her diginty; and Charlene does. Right in front of a bunch of EMO stereotypes. I think one of them might be the mother of the emo kid from Kick Buttowski. So I discover that Vanessa is screwed and she gets out not looking amused. We discover that there are three punk guys (and Vanessa is a goth for no reason) and the one with the black hair (with pink stripe in the middle) covering his right eye is Johnny himself; who is apparently Vanessa's boyfriend. For now anyway. Johnny is voiced by Logan Miller and he started his career on The Norton Ave All Stars as Drew Apple in 2008. He also played Teenage Conner in Ghosts Of A Girlfriend's Past, Jake in Arthur & The Great Adventure, I'm In The Band as Tripp Campbell, and Ultimate Spiderman as Sam Alexander. Phineas & Ferb is his DTVA debut and only appearance. Growing Up Fisher (Anthony) and Explosion as Ryder are his most recent credits. He has 20 acting credits to his resume. Johnny talks and Vanessa walks with him and his posse which I don't care about and the writers don't either. Charlene warns them about the medical waste in the junkyard (It's Uncensored BABEE!) on the way out. Old farts: The Jungle Aces Secret Midnight Club was built inside a junkyard. So there you go. So we head back to Phineas' room for round two as the computer decides that it will be Baljeet VS. Ferb. Baljeet is so offended by this that he stops selling his illness. Nice one Baljeet as Baljeet is complaining about Ferb's video game skills because as we cut over to Ferb; Ferb has an out of nowhere video game championship trophy on the bed. To Ferb: You played video games when you were 12?! HE'S SURFING BLOODY CLOUDS LOSER~! Hey; even this self-aware ranter has to defend the classics sometimes. I just realize that the controllers are dead ringers to the Sega Dreamcast; which is odd since Sega is still around as a software developer; and I would still think that they own the IP for that controller still. So we go to the screen inside a golden hallway and we Fight-uh! In the middle of the ring-uh! Who has a two dollar jackass of a sister-uh! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...
Yeah; Baljeet is doomed. Or not as Baljeet does a twirl punch which throws Ferb for a loop and then Baljeet punches him again and wins without taking a single hit. The video game champion got squashed? Baljeet complained about it? WHAT?! Baljeet thinks Ferb threw the match to save his fragile ego as we see Ferb in bed reading while a weighted wooden model duck was at the controller. Ferb claims that he didn't; but we know he did. Now; Ferb is doing this with the bird while ON-SCREEN on the Skype. So Baljeet had to see it. If I was Baljeet; I would be insulted to the fact that I beat a wooden bird that is dumber than most CPU's. So we head to the Danville scrapyard (It's Somewhat Censored BABEE!) as Johnny and Vanessa are standing in front of the speakers place in the middle of the scrapyard as we see freaks and goths and punks dancing. Yeah; this is a dance rave because we're so free. No, not really. Well; we see that the place is wired with cameras because this is on the web see. Including a camera showing the port-a-potties. A punk man comes out (and I think he was one of Johnny's friends in the group shot with Charlene and company) and blows him off. Vanessa loves this midday party rave and then we cut back to Phineas's room as Phineas wonders who he is facing. See; Baljeet beat Ferb, Isbella beat Buford, and Phineas is the only one left. Well; you could always take a bye since it's your idea of a sick day. Instead; he lets the computer do it; and he faces himself. HAHA! So we fight in the forest of feelings as both Phineas kick each other and we have a double KO. Phineas proclaims that he is kicking his own butt. So I'm guessing Phineas has been eliminated and it's down to Baljeet against Isabella. Fine by me; we need that epic to be settled somehow. So we head to the wrong part of Danville on the sidewalk in front of a lumber store and a car parts store (Abzir's Car Parts) as Doofensmirtz is marching Perry down the street and Perry cannot do anything about it. Then Perry is forced to skip and then is forced to slap himself. I see Doofensmirtz is giving Don Karnage his wet dream of seeing his air pirates do the same thing everytime they fail.
The slap fest goes on for a long-ass whomping time (Question: Why are you slapping yourself? Answer: Because Doofensmirtz loves Don Karnage's promos.) and then Doofensmirtz orders Perry to eat the gum off the sidewalk while taunting him for being such a disgusting little platypus. Somehow; this kind of thing would be routine for a real platypus, but I could be wrong on that. So we tease Perry eating the gum; and then Doofensmirtz forces Perry to stop and put it down because these spots are copyrighted by Fanboy & Chum Chum, care of Federator, all rights reserved. Then Doofensmirtz wants to do this again as we head back to the Danville Scrap Yard and more dancing in the background. We see Vanessa and Johnny dancing it up and then Vanessa's cell phone rings. Vanessa answers the phone (or it's Johnny) as it's Doofensmirtz on the phone as he is in the park forcing Perry to prop up the cellphone so he can speak. Doofensmirtz informs her that she made Perry almost eat gum off the sidewalk as Vanessa is not amused by this as Doofensmirtz informs her that he's coming to pick her up along with her Visigoth friends. Vanessa blows him off for spelling the name wrong and not realizing that they are goths and most of them are punks anyway. Doofen hangs up as we zoom out to see that Doofen is in the park sitting on a bench with Perry holding the cellphone as Doofensmirtz blows off Vanessa for thinking that he's not cool enough. I feel your pain Doofensmirtz; I really do. Did I mention that Erick the Red makes an appearance as Doof apologizes for screwing that up and he leaves asking about money. Doofensmirtz pouts for a bit and then goes back to the remote and forces Perry to slap himself again while being taunted. HAHA! He truly is the spiritual successor of Don Karnage. I love this! So we do the flip-flop scene changer (the second one in three rants I might add) and we see Perry mushing a shopping cart with Doofensmirtz in it. That is exactly what happened here. Doofensmirtz taunts him for stealing a shopping cart from the supermarket and we head to the Danville Scrapyard as Doofensmirtz complains about that too. He likes the Caribou Lodge by the way.
So Perry drives Doofen into the junkyard and most of the punks seem to enjoy his ride at least as Doofen proclaims that it works of platypus power. Doofen then sees that the batteries are low on the remote. So he goes over to the table which has a jack cable attached to it and unplugs it from the power source and then plugs that into the remote. It causes a power surge of doom which shocks Doofensmirtz literally and then the signal gets sent straight to Phineas' house and into the video game. Cut to Phineas' room and apparently; it's Phineas VS. Buford. I'm guessing that this is a placement match because both were eliminated earlier in the episode. Then the surge causes the screen to cut off the match and then we see the junkyard as there is Perry wearing his helmet. Phineas notices Perry is here and then Doofensmirtz comes in with the remote trying to control Perry; but no selling from Agent P. Oh; I know where this is going and I love this now. So Phineas has control of Perry's left arm, Ferb has his right leg, Isabella has his left leg; while Buford has his right arm. It's also clear that Buford loves Don Karnage's wet dreams because he's making Perry slap himself again while mocking him. So why isn't Buford Doofensmirtz's son? Baljeet has the back and forth stuff as Perry is just doing stuff as Doofensmirtz protests this outrage. Phineas has no idea what the object of this level is; so Buford calls Doofensmirtz a pharmacist. HAHA! So they use teamwork on Perry as Perry basically kicks the living crap out of Doofensmirtz. This is so awesome! Doofensmirtz gets bounced on and then Perry eats flies right on camera because Buford thinks they are power ups and Phineas wants to experiment. Like a true gamer would. Nice one as Doofensmirtz calls this worse than sidewalk gum. Do platypuses eat flies in real life? Does insect larvae count? So Doofensmirtz tries to escape by climbing up a pile of scrap as the kids all chase after him with Perry. Baljeet calls Doof a pharmacist and tells him to eat pig iron. I cannot take anything you say seriously, Baljeet. That promo sucked!
So Doofensmirtz tries to smash Perry with the umbrella; but Perry grabs it while making Super Mario Brother Goomba squash sounds. I'm serious about this one. Isabella wants the timing right as Perry moves like a 16 bit fighting character while whacking Doofen with the umbrella. No wonder Gumball did this sequence in their show; it's awesome! So Perry kicks Doof in the ass and Doofensmirtz tumbles down the other side of the junk pile. Phineas is so happy that he wants to throw Perry's hat away and he does exactly that as Perry tosses the helmet and it somehow crushes one of the camera flatter than Alexander the Grape. Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk! So the screen goes snowy on the other side and the kids groan since it's a game over anyway. Sigh. So here's what happens next: Doofensmirtz tumbles down the junk pile. He crashes into a barrel of glue which seems to be fresh glue. How that is possible is unknown as Doofen slides down and into the turntables table below. Doofensmirtz gets up and smacks his hands down on the turntables; and the record scratches and stops. How that is possible is unclear. The music stops (I'm guessing the DJ's both bailed before Doofen slid into said table) as Johnny asks if this is his dad and Vanessa denies it of course. The punks are not impressed with their dance party coming to a crashing halt. One of the fat punks with red mohawk hair proclaims that he was at the Caribou Lodge and it was just like this as they all boo Doofensmirtz out of the building. Or would have if he wasn't stuck to the turntables. One throws a can which misses his head by two feet as Perry is about to leave; but then suddenly has a change of heart because Vanessa is pleading why is he here ruining my life? Simple Vanessa: he's a funny cool heel. He get the perks of making you look stupid.
So Perry slides down and under the table as Perry motions to Doofensmirtz; which Doof somehow looks at him despite looking the other way. That had to be intentional from the last rant. So he gets taken down by Perry and then reappears with the helmet on him which is supposed to be two sizes too small for him. So we twist some turntables as Doofensmirtz is going to rap! Oh goody! I see what inspires Gunther's raps then since they both came from the old country. Vanessa demands to know what he's doing and here are the lyrics for this rap...
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Well I'll be honest, I don't really understand. But I fell down this hill now I got glue on my hands. And I got records on my fingers...
Teens: Whaaat?
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Records on my fingers...I got records on my fingers and I just can't stop..
Teens: Don't stop!!
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I can't stop, I got a platypus controlling me!!
Teens: Whaaat?
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I got a platypus controlling me!! Now let me sum it up! It was a strange set of circumstances!
Teens: Strange set of circumstances!
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I fell down the hill, I got glue on my hands, now I got records on my fingers and I just can't stop!
Teens: Don't stop! Don't stop!
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Well I would if I was able. There's a Platypus Controlling Me, he's underneath the table!
Teens: There's a platypus controlling him- WHAAAT?
Teen: Oh I get it, platypus is a metaphor for whatever is keeping you down!
Teens: Like corporations are a platypus...The government's a platypus....Your teacher is a platypus...
Weird Teen: My teacher is a panda!
Teens: Society's a platypus...My parents are a platypus...The media's a platypus...It's all just propaganda...Yeah we've all got a platypus controlling us!
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: No, just me!
Teens: We've all got a platypus controlling us!
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I'd stop if I was able!
Teens: We've all got a platypus controlling us!
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I'm not speaking metaphorically the platypus controlling me is underneath the table... [checks under the table and Perry is gone.] Wait! Oh wait, no, he's gone! Heyyy! [Doofen looks back and sees Perry on the junk pile giving Doof a thumbs up,] There's no platypus controlling me. There's no platypus controlling me![1]
Take that Mister T! ***** for the whole thing; including all the digs on the world and the panda teacher reference. I'm guessing the brown haired punk's teacher is Peter The Panda on his off days. Great finish as Johnny claims that Doofensmirtz is cool and Vanessa blows him off because Johnny isn't supposed to like Heniz since he is her punk boyfriend. Vanessa then goes over to Doofenshmirtz and kisses him on the cheek; because that she knows he's cool is all that matters. Wonderful finish here as we twist more turntables and dance for fun. So we head back to Phineas' room with the projection screen still snowing as Phineas proclaims that the fevers are broken and they are no longer sick. I beg to differ Phineas as we see Buford groaning because he got sick lying in bed all day. He must have stuffed himself silly inbetween games. Sadly; we'll never know if Isabella would have defeated Baljeet in that fighting game and that kills the perfect episode right there fans. Sorry. So we see Perry come in as Phineas notices him and it's just in time for a walk. Perry hisses and that ends the episode at 10:50 approx. The ending is basically a replay of "There's A Platypus Controlling Me" which is the best part of this episode anyway. If only they paid off the fighting game with Baljeet and Isabella, this would have the best episode ever to date in new Disney history. Almost got the second perfect episode; but everything else was awesome. Doofenshmirtz rapping, Isabella squashing Baljeet, Doofenshmirtz redeeming himself in front of Vanessa after the tricycle incident, Perry slapping himself by Buford and Doofen, Doofen and Perry in a real life video game; what more could I ask for? Other than Baljeet/Isabella which was never blown off. **** 3/4 (95%). Sadly; I fear the Vanessa/Johnny relationship is starting to hit the rocks now.
THE REVIEW LINE
Doofenshmirtz rapping like Gunther; only a lot better and it ended in redemption for the heel! YES! Brain Drain was awesome in that Phineas & Ferb did a normal boys stuff while being sick with his friends and we got video game fighting references; plus they even used Perry to kick Doofen's ass in the process. Doofen was the star of this episode by a freakin mile as he was the coolest dick heel ever: He controlled Perry, he made Don Karnage's wet dream come true, he tooks bumps like a madman for Phineas and the kids, and he redeemed himself in Vanessa's eyes after giving me the funniest moment in the series; which Milo would promptly steal later on. Everything was written wonderfully; I got almost every inside joke on this episode and there was major heat for me because of the fact that Doofen is separated from Charlene and all that stuff. I'm sure we'll be hearing more of this as the rants go on; but I'm certain that Johnny/Vanessa is not going to last long. Also; the only thing wrong with this episode (most of the mistakes were limited in this one) was that they failed to pay off the fighting tournament because I would pay good money to see Baljeet and Isabella in a fight. With a video game of course; not a legit fight. Sadly; Split Personality was a yawner; there wasn't anything horrible, there was nothing good, it was boring for the most part along with being sloppy which gives the show it's third thumbs down show. I never thought referencing NegaDuck would not make me excited about this episode; as the only stuff that was good was Doofen's misadventures on the diving board (including the splat job payoff when he did do the unintentional dive). So a whiplash set of episodes today. So next up is Candace Disconnected and Magic Carpet Ride; which I assume is a Candace focused episode and a Baljeet focused episode in that order. So....
Thumbs down for Split Personality and thumbs up for Brain Drain and I'll see you all next time.