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Phineas & Ferb: Candace Disconnected/Magic Carpet Ride
Reviewed: 02/04/2014
Disconnect This Magic Carpet For Candace To Ride Into Jobberville!
Well; this is something. I thought The Perry Files was going to be all Season 2 episodes; but our next two episodes to rant on are from Season 3! This is #122 (3-06a) and #123 (3-06b) on the animation paper. So our first episode has Candace being forced to accept help after she kills another cellphone; but ends up at Easter Island for some reason. Meanwhile; Doofensmirtz has a "Pick-Up-inator" to pick up Vanessa while Norm's head return to make sarcastic remark on Agent P. Then we see Phineas & Ferb invent a magic carpet while Candace tries to bust her brothers using the power of fortune cookies. Then Doctor Doofensmirtz wants to ruin his brother's mission in life with the Staininator to ruin a mysterious painting. Let's rant on shall we...?!
Candace Disconnected is written and storyboarded by Antoine Gulibaud and Aliki Theofilopoulos-Grafft. Magic Carpet Ride is written and storyboarded by Michael Diederich and Tom Minton. Story editing for both episode are done by Scott Peterson. Animation is done by Wang Films and Synergy Animation.
Candace Disconnected: We begin this one outside in the backyard with a lot of boxes of stuff and a video camera on a tripod; as Phineas claims that this will be the most interesting thing ever as Ferb states that it will be the tallest too barely five seconds in; a new record for Ferb. Ferb even talks more than one line in record time too; which Phineas claims that Ferb is chatty today. So we head to Candace's room and she's lying on the bed cosplaying a cellphone and pretending to call Stacey. Then Linda comes in with what looks to be the exact same cellphone she always has in this series. Here's an obvious example of stupidity on Linda's part: Why would you buy her a new cellphone when you know she's only going to harrass you with phone calls of what Phineas & Ferb "did" every episode? Candace grabs the phone and sounds like Molly from It Came From Beneath The SeaDuck (or Grandpa Simpson wanting his welfare check in one episode; name escapes me at the moment); in that she's a greedy, self centered moron. Only Candace is almost 16 years old; at least double the age of Molly. Candace asks about a hundred questions on the cellphone; but then realizes that it only makes phone calls. See; Candace has lost four phones in four months; and if she loses THIS one, it's no more cellphones for Candace. So yes; Candace is not only dumb enough to not use the camera on her phone to bust the boys; she's stupid enough to lose those phones. Did Miss Lips and Candace meet and Candace's genes infect her? Linda leaves as it takes Candace 10 seconds to figure out something that can be figured out in two seconds. Then we hear an explosion sound out of nowhere, and I say that because as Candace goes to the window while the impact causes her phone to go through the window and we get the backyard shot; nothing has changed in the backyard. Bad, bad logic break there.
So her phone land on a bunch of bushes which manage to assure that the cellphone won't break. Candace is relieved; then a brown haired male wearing grey pants, grey shirt and a green hat of some sort arrives with a forklift containing a wooden crate of heavy lead bars. He drives in front of the bush as Phineas tells him to put it somewhere; which just so happens that the forklift drops the box right on the cellphone crushing it. Thus Candace had a cellphone for less than 30 seconds on something that didn't actually exist. Candace is now becoming Monty in the sense of I had a great first impression of him/her; now I really hate Candace. It's not her asshole tendences that bug me (like with Monty); but she is a total idiot (like Drake Mallard can be) who needs to be carried out just to move without breaking stuff. So the forklift does this spot where he becomes more forgetful than Candace is (because adults are dumber than kids because if the adults are as smart as the kids (although the kids are allowed to be as stupid as the adults at least); then the kids will change the channel, amirite?) and runs over the cellphone with his forklift about ten times just to jackhammer the point home that Candace sucks. If this was to put sympathy heat back into her; it failed miserably. And then just to kill that; Candace runs out and kneels near the crushed cellphone pile and tries to act like the cellphone has a pulse; and then thinks Phineas is on the cellphone when he is clearly shown that he is not. Wow; just wow. This has not been a good 90 seconds of airtime; that is for sure. Candace then asks Phineas & Ferb to fix it (well; he was partly responsible for her cellphone getting crushed to pieces); and Phineas does this promo that it took 40 years to perfect the technology; so give them 38 minutes. So; in essence, they are going to do two things today, because one is just not enough. Phineas then asks where Perry is...
...and so we head to OWCA headquarters as we already see Major Monogram and his toddler-sized sidekick (oh come on guys! After Unfair Science Fair Redux, you expect me not to crack that joke?) Karl are looking at some device which some diabolically clever hacker has sent messages to him. Major Monogram claims that the handle is TTYL; which Karl points out is internet lingo for Talk To You Later. Come on new Disney! Does every senior citizen have to be totally igorant of the ways of the internet? This is a cartoon dammit! If you want to do this stereotype; do it in live action! The kids will notice it and fart on it! Trust me! It's from Karl as Monogram still acts like an idiot. It's not clever Monogram. If it was clever; Karl would say SYL; which is...ummm...Can get back to you later? We have a rant to finish up. So Agent P plops in on the chair as Monogram tells Karl to beat it. Karl leaves off-screen as Monogram tells us that Doofensmirtz is ROTFL and has no idea what it is; but thinks it's dangerous. I love real comments that aren't suppose to be real comments. Karl tries to explain that it means "rolling on the floor laughing"; but Monogram blows him off. HAHA! Good for him; no one cares what Karl sezs. Internet lingo nor the English language. Anyhow; Agent P salutes him and leaves as Monogram is now complaining about the guy going all "Q" on us; which Karl tells him that his thumb is on the "q" key. On a "smart" phone. So we head to Doofensmirtz Evil Inc (complete with jingle) as we head inside Doofen's living room which contains a furance and weird purple paintings. Doofen is on the cellphone with Charlene complaining about picking up Vanessa and asks why she cannot do it. Apparently; Charlene is having surgery on her knee which means Doofensmirtz is screwed. Well; at least it's not her nails this time as Doofen promises to pick her up and hangs up the phone. Doofen is not amused and walks out pondering about some inator to pick her up.
So we head inside the garage as Phineas & Ferb have something underneath the covers; as Baljeet and Buford are already here. Isabella comes in and asks what he is doing. So Phineas pulls the covers and it's a cellphone with a statellite dish and goofy attenna. Pfft; lame. The plastic fleshed color arm with black glove on it's hand is much more interesting. So Phineas proclaims that the phone has all these great features as it has an app for teleporting. Phineas brings down a projection screen and we have the out of nowhere projector project an image of a sequence where someone is in their room saying "Go to X." and the person teleports to a deserted island. Which begs the question: If you can teleport anywhere in the world; why bother using the cellphone for it's real function: Talking to someone on the phone. Why bother calling it a cellphone? Wouldn't you just talk to said person face to face instead; which is something the moral guardians think is so cool and everything?! Phineas wants to demonstrate and he orders Isabella to go outside in the driveway; which is exactly what she does. No wonder I never see Nightflight on the forums anymore; even The Acorn Cafe has realized that he/she is completely full of it. I busted that "Chip cannot order Gadget to do stuff anymore" nonsense with this spot. And about the "sweep girls off their feet for Prince Charming" stuff: Then why does Disney still continue with their Princesses lineup which makes them a crapload of money. Moral of the story: The only thing that matters is what Disney decides to do; not what moral guardians say that they should do. Boy; what a week it was when Hollywood Reporter states that there was a Chip & Dale live action/CGI film in the works and someone stated that it would be based on Rescue Rangers. I was howling with laughter when this happened. Well; the cult of Gadget finally got what it wanted 25 years too late; and half of them turned on the project instantly. The other half turned on it 11 minutes later. You would think after the Kim Possible debacle that fans would understand why it's a bad idea to milk the cow dry; but then again, I hope this project either is awesome and bombs at the box office; or is beyond the pale horrible and makes more money than a Michael Bay film because if anything can shut up this cult once and for all; this would be it. Hopefully; Gargoyles will get the same treatment as well.
I know what you are saying now: What if it's TaleSpin? You seriously think that Disney would touch TaleSpin with a ten foot pole? I mean; the only way that would happen is if somehow, Disney and Ghibli Studios got together and made a TaleSpin/Porco Rosso crossover with that rumored sequel to Porco Rosso that I keep hearing about in some circles of the internet. Don't count on that happening of course. So Phineas uses the cellphone and he tells it to go to Isabella; and he teleports out of the garage and appears; clearly nose to nose with Isabella as she asks what she is doing as Phineas claims he's transporting. Yes; there is an automated voice as he tells the smartphone (because the guy using it does have some of it) to go back to the garage and he does. Isabella swears in dubbed anime style (dang it!) as apparently Buford was telling a sexist song and stops when Phineas reappears. I swear that Buford spoke loud enough that Phineas would have heard it; but Phineas ignores it anyway. Phineas proclaims that this is how it works; so Candace walks in and takes it from Phineas as she blows him off. Did I mention that Phineas installed a rim shot sound app into that thing? Phineas wonders why she won't see the interactive tutorial; but Candace blows it off and leaves stage right. I see she's a Malstrom gal as Phineas just shrugs his shoulders and they all walk stage left as Buford wants to talk about Candace. So back to Doofensmirtz's Evil Inc.'s basement which we pan south to the underbelly of the building. So we head into the basement as it's pitch black in there with just Doofensmirtz's eyes as he crashes into something and groans. Doofensmirtz blows himself off because he's not a bat and pulls down the cord which turns on the light bulb. He crashed into a toolbox which is on the floor toppled over. Apparently; Doofen's basement was formally an underground jail. Then we see on the table is a head of a robot and apparently; this was the original prototype head of Norm from Greece Lightning. Yeah; you thought the writers would forget about Norm huh?
So Doofen grabs the head and turns it on. Norm speaks and talks like a commenter who knows what she/he is talking about at Respectful Insolance because it sarcastically points out that Doofen got his degree from a diploma mill on the internet. Somehow; Doofensmirtz getting his degree on-line with Charlene is a much more productive use of his time than that goofy ablest, sexist, racist, bald-face moron (that stole my short form of my first name) making dumbass dangerous comments on RI about how great anti-vaccine people are and how autisics are brain damaged. As much as that completely offends me; there's dozens of commentors righfully shouting him down, so I haven't had to say much of anything. However; that doesn't mean that I am not pissed off. Anyhow; Doofen blows him off and asks he if he wants to come along and see him make a new inator and Norm agrees to it because he wants to see him blow things up again. I swear to god that Norm Head Prototype was an intentional rib on me by the writers. If so; it's a funny one at least. Norm Head Prototype is voiced by Joel McHale and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): After earning his master's degree in acting, McHale moved to Los Angeles and landed small roles in Diagnosis: Murder, CSI: Miami, and Will & Grace. He played a TV reporter in the biopic Lords of Dogtown. He guest-starred as a cast member on the NBC improv comedy show Thank God You're Here during the pilot episode and had a guest role on an episode of Pushing Daisies. McHale also appeared in Spider-Man 2 in a small role as Mr. Jacks, a bank manager. In 2004, McHale began hosting The Soup, a satirical weekly television show on the "E!" television network. Throughout the show, he takes the audience through the oddities and ridiculous happenings of the week in television. He frequently appears as a co-host on Loveline. He has also had a long association with Circle X Theatre, where he has done several plays.
McHale was a weekly guest on The Adam Carolla Show and Mickey and Amelia, and occasional guest on the Opie and Anthony Show.[11] He has been a judge on Iron Chef America. He was involved in the American version of the British TV show The IT Crowd. McHale made a guest appearance on the finale of Last Comic Standing sixth season, when he recapped the show's events in his typical format of jokes made popular on The Soup. He occasionally appeared on Countdown with Keith Olbermann in a humor sequence closing the show. McHale played FBI Agent Robert Herndon in The Informant! (2009), alongside Matt Damon. He currently stars in Community,[12] which premiered in winter 2009. He also continues to host The Soup.[13] McHale made an appearance on the first episode of the fifth season of Tosh.0. He played Rex in Ted (2012) and had a short guest stint on the FX show Sons of Anarchy. He played a police officer in the supernatural thriller Beware the Night.[14] He began his career on Almost Live as various characters in 1995 and 1996. Phineas & Ferb is his DTVA debut and only appearance. Brothers Keeper (Hudson), Merry Friggin Christmas (Boyd Mitchler), Deliver Us From Evil, Blended and Community as Jeff Winger are his most recent credits. He has 34 acting credits, five writing credits, six producer credits (all for The Soup productions), and 62 Self credits to his resume. Doof carries Norm under his armpit and Norm complains in roundabout terms that they need to buy some deodarant. Which I reply: of course. So we head back to the living room background scene that we see in half of the episodes involving Candace as she is in the loveseat on her cellphone with Stacey. Holy crap; even this show is putting females in sexually awkward positions! So we see Phineas & Ferb in the background outside bringing in stuff from a wagon; mostly a lamp. Candace goes on and on and even Stacey in roundabout terms wants her to shut up.
So we see Stacey in her living room on the sofa watching television. I would describe the living room; but it is so dull of boring with nothing of note. Anyway; she wants to go to Easter Island, which is the documentary she is watching. Candace blows her off by asking why would anyone want to _go to Easter Island_. So the automated voice responds which puzzles Candaces into thinking Stacey's voice has changed and Candace disappears from the loveseat. She then reappears on a plain sitting on her ass; because despite the fact that she is supposed to be a teenage girl; she acts like a stereotypical man in not following the tutorial or asking for help with directions. We zoom out and we discover that indeed Candace is at a cliff overlooking the statues on Easter Island. Candace yells at the boys but we head back to Doofen's lab which has a lot of green painted on the wall. Norm's head is on the table along with some jetpak with arms which attach to a helmet of some kind. Doof has a remote control device which is shaped like a thick handled mirror as Doof makes small talk with Norm while Norm makes sarcasm into a fine art. So we discover that it's the Pick-Em-Upinator as Norm wants to know when to hide when it blows up. Doofensmirtz uses the remote mirror to set the coordinates and the rocket thingy launches into the air and flies out of the window without doing any damage whatsoever. Huh; what do you think of Doofensmirtz now Norm? Anyhow; we cut to a sidewalk in front what looks like a craft store (check the balls of yarn, books and neck ties hanging in the front window) as we see Vanessa standing in front of the store blowing off Doofen for being late again. Hey; at least this time, he's not bringing the little red wagon for you to fix him Vanessa. So I'm guessing that Vanessa hates Doofen again for some reason after the "Controlled By Agent P" rapping incident. So the Pick-Em-Upinator helmet comes down and attaches to Vanessa's head. Vanessa is picked up and flown into the skies as we discover where she gets her cursing from (like father, like daughter eh?) and then is plopped right in front of the cheese colored house which I guess is Charlene's.
The Pick-Em-Upinator deattaches from Vanessa's head and she thanks the device for bringing her home. The Pick-Em-Upinator flies back into the building and lands on the table without any damage whatsoever. HA! IN YOUR FACE NORM THE SARCASTIC ROBOT HEAD~! That is what Doofen should have said as Norm wants him to work on his personality and bump it up to a C-; which is the landing Baloo had in the climax of Plunder and Lightning Act I. Then the door breaks down (sigh) and it's Agent P with an oversized sewer piple with handles on it. Doofensmirtz protests this because he did nothing wrong. Again; we are supposed to somehow cheer Perry for breaking into Doofen's house without a warrant or any real legit reason? Doofen offers to let Agent P stay as he takes off his white coat and he has this black aerobics workout outfit that is so outrageous that....Ummmm....can I get back to you on that one? I am bedazzled by this over the top blond haired female instructor on the television doing dance lesson with a pink headband and the most absurd open mouth in the history of the new Disney. Seriously; she looks like a zombie of the Joker; only without the charm of her laughing. So we have the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM and we exercise. Remember a time when Disney made a big deal out of the Mousercise television series (seen on Family Channel Canada)? I see Doofen wearing the largest anklet red bands he could find along with wrist bands (red/black stripe) and a headband dancing with his back to the hard camera. Perry's headband is pink with a white stripe. Lots of stars, dancing, two-tone backgrounds and Norm having a springloaded neck. I see that the blond girl uses the same folded up neck as Rock Callahan and Papercut Peterson from Kick Buttowski. Record side leg lifts ensue in stereo. Along with mule kicks. Wait; go get some fish and chips? Aren't fish and chips fried foods that an exercise freak would avoid? On the other hand; it's better for Doofensmirtz if he had them more often. More singing and dancing as Doofensmirtz has the skipping rope and I betcha he is going to tie up Agent P with it when this is over.
Damn; I'm so good. I called it about ten seconds before it happened and it was more obvious because they brought in another female girl in a black dress shirt being tied up with said skipping rope on television. Perry is not amused by this but I am. This was a really good segment and it lead to a payoff that even though I saw it coming; it still made sense in terms of storyline. So we cut back to Candace walking around Easter Island complaining as usual as a pink colored bird something swoops down and steals Candace's cellphone. Candace is not happy about that one as she runs after the bird; but even though she can clearly see the cliff coming, she walks over the cliff and has to hang on for dear life onto the side of the cliff while the bird lands in his nest with the cellphone in said nest. Candace talks about this being a cliff hanger and of course the app does the rim shot sound. This would have been funnier if Candace wasn't such an imbecile. So we head back to Doofen's living room as Perry is sitting on the floor tied up while Doofen asks if he wants a sports drink. Perry is not amused and gives him eye contact violence. Doofen then proclaims while drinking the sports drink that he has an evil plan that involves picking everyone up in the tri-state area and making them do things at his command. All this was done during the workout. Of course; the real reason this happened was because BS&P got tired of Agent P turning into a heel; so Doofen must be doing something evil every episode. Never mind that this would have been more effective if he said that "I thought about this evil plan just before you baraged into my building." Do you have to ruin the Doof/Perry segment too writers?! So we cut back to the cliff of Easter Island as Candace continues to demand the bird give back her cell phone from a tree branch on the cliff just above the bird's nest. Far shot ensues as we see a sea turtle go behind a rock. Somehow; Candace threatens to kill the red bird with a rock in roundabout terms and the rim shot plays again. And yes; Candace is dumb.
Suddenly; she puts on a fedora hat which changes from black to brown depending on the shot. Yes folks; this is Agent T's debut (and yes; T is a girl, live with it.) She puts on a wrist watch containing a monitor and it is snowy for a few seconds. Suddenly; we see Karl on the monitor screen. Wait; what? So Karl is shown Candace hanging on for dear life as Karl notices that it is Candace from the Flynn-Fletcher family. Wait; what? How does this make any sense? Karl proclaims that he'll call Agent P and thanks Agent T for his good work...at making this episode look WORSE! So we head back to Perry tied up on the floor as apparently; Doofen brought his dumbells and his little neon green ball (NOT THAT ONE YOU SICK FREAKS!) as he is tormenting Perry by reading the ingredients and actually properly saying them. HAHA! 14 other yellows; that's a good one Doofen. So Perry manages to get loose because his watch is beeping; and it shows footage of Candace hanging for dear life. Here's what happens next: Perry uses his tail and grab one of the dumbells and it is tossed right on Doofen's feet. Doofen does the foot grabbing oversell spot; making sure to blow off Perry for have no gratitude whatsoever in him being tied up. HAHA! Perry runs to the table with the Pick-Em-Upinator and grabs the remote. Perry uses remote and the Pick-Em-Upinator flies away from the window. Norm asks for Perry to leave the device on the table as Perry runs out of the room and into the hallway just as Doofen stops selling the foot injury. YAY! He acts like Lenneth Valkyrie in Valkyrie Profile where Lezard teleports out of his own lair and Valkyrie claims that he is running away basically. Perry runs out of sight as Doofen starts to curse Perry; but his cellphone rings and Doofen answers it asking about the inator; and wants her to hold for a moment; then screams platypus to complete the cursing. HAHA! Doofensmirtz than talks to Vanessa about how classes went. HAHA!
So we return with Candace demanding her cellphone; so the bird simply pecks her hand and she screams to give her a break. So the tree branch breaks and she freefalls and screams. Rim Shot~! Candace free falls and the Pick-Em-Upinator helmet attaches her by the head and she still scream. You are not in a Z-Grade horror movie Ashley Tisdale; so stop killing your voice! Now I would have thought that they would just write it as Candace flies into the backyard and then the helmet deattches itself and flies back to Doofensmirtz. Of course they don't do exactly that because they have Candace near the ocean walking on water which is a lot less impressive with that device. Then seagulls fly in her face and one gets stuffed in her mouth. Then she does the Scooby Doo Snow Angel spot on a wave. Then we get stock footage of Earth from space as we have officially reached the low point of the series. So we head back to the backyard as the kids are talking about their invention being big and heavy and tall. Apparently; this invention which we will never see (although with this show; I'm probably wrong on that) was taken to the museum and Ferb comments that it still fit in his truck. So we see Candace land in the backyard safely thus killing the "Make Candace Look Like A Total Dumbass" continuity that they were shooting for. The Pick-Em-Upinator flies away as Phineas greets Candace and wants to inform him what Buford said about her. Candace doesn't care as the boys are so busted. But then she realizes that her phone is gone. Wait; Candace NEVER grabbed the phone at all on the freefall so why is she acting like she HAD it? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! STUPID! Did I mention dumb? Anyhow; we hear the car honking as apparently; Linda is in the driveway. Candace whines about her life being ruined; so Phineas does the "Pick A Nose" finish in that he had a spare cell phone made just in case. This one at least makes more sense than Pick A Nose so I'm fine with it.
Candace thanks Phineas and then proclaims that she is still busting them for making her _go to Timbuktu_; and then the automated voice kicks in. Candace goes Meep and she disappears. Phineas claims that she is going to miss pie; and I'm not going to miss her after this BS. So she lands on a building stylized in Timbuktu in Africa as she yells at Phineas & Ferb again. So we head back to Easter Island and we see Norm's head land with the Pick-Em-Upinator cutting a lame Chucky-Cheese promo. Then he jokes about Easter Island being the place where the Easter Bunny is. Then just to get the proverbial middle finger (aka the bird) to the audience; he asks where the rimshot app bird guy when he needs him. So how did Norm know about that? UGGGGGGGGHHHHH! I was expecting the rim shot sound here; but the episode ends at 10:37, rendering the stupid joke into no joke at all. UGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! This is the worst Phineas & Ferb short in this series so far as they buried Candace and made her into the most dense idiot ever! The finish to the Perry/Doof segment, the Mousercise song and Norm was pretty funny; but then they ruin both of them with logic breaks. This is supposed to be Disney and yet I end up with a below average Fairly Oddparents episode. Call it * 1/4 (25%).
Magic Carpet Ride: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM coupled with the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM. Yeah; there's a combination just waiting to be exploited. So we hear Lawerence who is sitting in the living room calling for Phineas & Ferb to come down and watch television with him. We hear carnival music in the background as this is the "Pinhead Pierre Show" which of course stars a guy with a body that makes his head look as big as a pin and wearing a green bowtie, a purple vest, and a red coat. Phineas & Ferb bounce down the stairs with a red ball for no reason as Lawerence calls the third series being digitally remastered for television. This is not idiotic since Lawerence is from Great Britian and they refer to seasons as series. See Doctor Who. The balloon deflates and Phineas & Ferb job on the sofa with Lawerence as Lawerence calls this the best show ever from his childhood. This is not going to end well as we head to a studio with a lot of puke green drawings and paintings in the background as indeed; Pierre has a head the shape of a conehead. I'm guessing conehead is copyrighted for some reason. Anyhow; the crowd is popping which is no surprise because it's full of grade school kids. Anyhow; Pierre talks about getting away from it all because people make fun of his head. Ummm; it's not the head they are laughing at Pierre; it's your fashion sense. If these children cared; the FASHION POLICE OF LAW would be busting your ass quicker than you can say "Miranda Rights". By the way; This is believe it or not; the first episode of this series with a John DiMaggio voice cameo. He's Pierre in case you didn't know. So what does he do in these situations? He brings out his magic carpet and rides on it; which is show magically via about three or four jump cuts. WHIPLASH~! Lawerence bails and returns with a red magic carpet and puts it on the floor. Phineas, Ferb and Lawerence sit down on the carpet. Lawerence sezs the magic word which is Streptococcus which is basically a form of bacteria. Oookkkkkaaaayyyyy.
So Pierre magic carpet rises via the power of pullies as various stuff pops out and all of it is hanging with strings; and it's clearly Z-Grade stuff as we see stock stills of the LANDMARKS OF THE DAY! Hey; this must be the "Poke Fun At The Agony Booth Day" on the Pinhead Pierre Show. What a pinhead?! So we hear Linda calls Lawerence to come help her find title design sets to redo the living room. Lawerence sighs and admits that this was not as thrilling as he remembered and walks out; indicating that he indeed has a brain. Phineas proclaims that he knows what he is going to do today; then asks where Perry is. So we head to OWCA headquarters as Perry plops onto the chair in front of the computer. We see Major Monogram on the screen looking like he is snoring and is drooling from the mouth. Perry is not amused as Monogram wakes up yelling wrong pants. Why? I have no idea and I'm not wanting to find out. So Monogram is wiping the spit out of his mouth and informs Agent P that Doofensmirtz has cleared out the tri-state area out of grape juice, red wine (wow; BS&P let that reference slip by?), chocolate, marinara sauce, India ink, and coffee which is the worst. Get thee a Pepsi Major! See what I did there? Apparently; he has a coffee cup with "World Greatest Superior Officer" and the OWCA logo on opposite sides. He's useless without his coffee; which is really not much different than he is normally. Monogram motions to Perry to do this thing and then we go to a Chinese restaurant called "Better Panda" which I'm guessing that Peter The Panda secretly works at as their mascot. Oh come on guys! You saw that one coming a mile away! So we head inside and indeed; it's a Chinese restaurant as Candace is complaining about not knowing how to bust the boys successfully. The old grey haired man with a mustache with an orange shirt is holding hands with a dark skinned brown haired female in the background at a table and it's clear this was done by Wang Films; because of the eyes making him look cross eyed. Anyhow; Candace talks about something which Stacey blows her off and offers her a fortune cookie.
So Candace sighs because she's looking for the magic bullet and reality is denying her. Join the club Candace; as if I care about you anymore. I should note that there is a black tea kettle; but no pot it seems. Guess Candace is a Shawn Michaels fan. I should note that Ballpit Kid (Balthazar) is eating with chopsticks with it appears to be his mother wearing all purple. There is shrimp, lemon, and brocolli in the dish they are eating as I'm trying to stay away from dealing with Smart Buster. That is her new nickname from here on for Candace. Smart Buster: So stupid; she busts her brains out to failing to bust brothers. So fortune cookie #1 sezs: Stop being an idiot..Oh wait; wrong fortune cookie. It really sezs that someone will take a trip and in comes one of the waiters in a red coat (who happens to be dark skinned) comes in and trips on nothing and falls as the dish gets splattered all over his head. That felt like a Jackie Chan comedy fight. Fantasy Mission Force anyone? He claims that he's fine; which is stupid because there is no indication that the trip would cause any truly crippling damage to him. BS&P: GROW THE HELL UP ALREADY! So Candace opens fortune cookie #2 as it claims that she will know the truth when it hits her. Worst fortune cookie message ever and at least Candace thinks it's boring as she crumbles it up and throws it at the kettle. Geez; the fortune cookie calling the kettle black? I'm shocked and appalled. No, not really. It bounces off the kettle and smacks Candace in the face. Then Candace looks at the fortune cookies and we get the heavenly musical cue I hear in so many cartoons over the years; and in recent years the objects get more and more obvious. Stacey protests this; but Candace crumbles another fortune cookie and reads it "Let the wisest light guide the way". Well; this is less dumb than the last rant, so I'm fine with this. So we see an old man with a cane asking them where I live as there is a light bulb nearby. Stacey tries to blow this off; but Candace cuts her off so much the kettle is now white. What a racist restaurant this "Better Panda" is?!
Candace calls this real and proclaims that she'll use them to bust her brothers. Whatever Candace. So she runs out to the counter and steals a bowlful of fortune cookies right in front of the dark skinned crew cut haired men with square glasses and a yellow bowtie with a green shirt. Yes; she didn't even PAY for the meal either; but the man protests the cost as 1/10 of a cent; and then just simply brings out another bowl of fortune cookies and tells them to eat in good health. Yeah; how is this business still in business? Just to make things easier on me: Additional Voices are provided by Frank Coliendo and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Caliendo has performed stand-up on such series as cable's Premium Blend, Late Show with David Letterman, Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn, The View, The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, and Late Night with Conan O'Brien. He was featured in Comedy Central's animated series Shorties Watchin' Shorties in 2004. His signature John Madden impression is frequently seen on Fox NFL Sunday, The Best Damn Sports Show Period and Mohr Sports. Caliendo has also appeared on Comedy Central's Comedy Central Presents, as well as many radio shows, including Randy Baumann and the DVE Morning Show, The Dan Le Batard Show, The Junkies, Bob & Sheri, The Bob & Tom Show, Mike and Mike in the Morning, Opie and Anthony, The Don and Mike Show, Rise Guys, Bubba the Love Sponge, The John Boy and Billy Big Show, The Howard Stern Show, Mike and the Mad Dog, Elliot in the Morning, The Sports Inferno, The Rick and Bubba Show, The Roe Conn Show, Preston and Steve, Bob and Brian, The Glenn Beck Program, and Holmberg's Morning Sickness, and Lamont & Tonelli on 107.7 The Bone in San Francisco. Of course as well as the illustrious The Free Beer and Hot Wings Show.
He began his career on Hype in 2000 doing various roles and then was George Bush on Mind of Mencia, various roles on MADtv, he as Chip Imitation in The Comebacks, color man/offensive coordinator for Blitz: The League 2, various roles on Frank TV and was on Cubed and Glenn Martin, DDS. Phineas & Ferb is his DTVA debut and only appearance. Hot In Cleveland as Kenny is his most recent acting credit. He has 12 acting credits, three writing credits (Comedy Central Presents), one producer credit and 32 Self credits to his resume (most recent credits: Mike & Mike, Fox & Friends, The Birthday Boys and Gotham Comedy Live). So we head back to Lawerence's living room as Phineas & Ferb are sitting on the floor with the red carpet using controller like devices which now look like N64 controllers; only smaller. Lawerence sits down on the carpet with the boys proclaiming that the design crisis has been averted. If only Lawerence; if only. Lawerence asks if this is a video game and Phineas claims sort of. So we see the various layers that go into building an entire second floor that is designed to be your makeshift magic carpet. We launch in a countdown of five and we lift off as the entire roof opens up and the living room somehow manages to fly up despite not seeing any walls carried with them. Lawerence questions this idea; but Phineas claims that they don't do it often; so no one knows that Phineas modified the entire living room with anti-gravity and flying membranes. I should note that TaleSpin did a similar gimmick to this in a European storybook Steet uploaded on TaleSpin Source; which made Baloo look like a dumbass and Kit look like a genius. It's kind of funny how things change and how dumb we are because farts like us were bashing this concept of kids being smartass and smug; and yet at the same time; we were complaining about how Disney failed to treat Kit Cloudkicker as the lead character because of his origin story and he was a child. I even have the op-ed from Aces Of The Cape from Ted Heinz (I think it was him) in hardcopy; and I might type some of what he said concerning this.
Anyhow; the living room floor flies stage left as Lawerence tells nostalgia that it has nothing on Phineas. I beg to differ Lawerence; I can just hear Candace right now: MOM! Phineas & Ferb are reading European TaleSpin storybooks again! As they are flying we pan over to Doofensmirtz Evil Inc. as Perry is scaling the building and then kicks open a pair of purple windows. He lands on the floor; then gets instantly tied up by the trapdoor hand forklift with red ropes. Wow; return when ropes were light brown. That's not all that odd; but whatever. Doofen taunts him as he wheels Perry to the lookoff and the bastard has created a big ass hoverboard with a gumball machine gun like device attached to it. It has purple wings on the back and a rope with some kind of disc attached to it on the floor. Doofensmirtz calls it the Staininator and he'll tell us on the way as we climb on board and then do a scene changer of doom (no flip-flop one this time) as the Staininator is in the sky with Doofensmirtz driving it like a jet ski. Doofen talks about it beginning in Gimmelshtoomp when he was a callow youth yearning to learn high art. I think it succeeded although not in the way we all wish it did. So we HIT THE FLASHBACK~! Doofensmirtz is now a French Painter inside a painting room wearing a completely black outfit. Did I mention that Doofensmirtz is barefoot during this flashback? Anyhow; he hates his first "masterpiece" and destroys the easel for fun. Then we cut to him lying in bed as Doofen claims that he's frustrated; and then we get the heavenly music playing again as he is shiny and full of inspiration. So we back to the painting room as he is painting on a much bigger easel. It takes three straight days of hand and foot painting (thus justifying him being barefoot to begin with); and some ladder tossing and paint tossing.
Then the painting is done and we have him running into the old country restaurant (which looks like the old castle barracks) and Doof is at the table with a brown haired guy; who might just be that handicapped guy from Family Guy; only he's not handicapped and wearing Rebecca Cunningham's sweater with a pink sash and white pants. TMI Doofensmirtz on his favorite meal. Too much information! So while I leave his meal as an exercise to the reader; we head back and I betcha he blows off the painting and leaves. Ummm; actually no. Here's what happened: Doofensmirtz pushes Roger into his painting room. Hmmm; that looks similar to every episode when Candace drags Linda in to try to bust the boys and fail hard. Now; this is the same except Roger apparently took his meal with him on the way out and it all splattered into the painting. Yeah; Heniz acted like Candace with Roger and his painted got ruined; so it's all Roger's fault even though he did nothing. On the other hand; at least Doofen is being evil here because when he swears revenge; he has it signed and sealed by an old country judge who is still using Gummi Bear era pens. Yeah; the old country has their version of Sharia Law in this world. We head back to reality (no, not really) as Doofen proclaims that he'll get his revenge on Roger for screwing up his paintings as ordained by Ye Sheera Law. Does the USA recognize said law? Probably not; but that hasn't stopped Doofensmirtz before hasn't it? Oh; and we discover that Roger is not only Doofen's brother; he is also the right honorable mayor of Danville (So Danville is in Canada somewhere? I thought it was in Kansas, Nebraska or Colorado?) in the tri-state area. So Doofensmirtz is going to threaten his life with the Staininator as he proclaims that Roger is unveiling a painting at the city hall. So; it's perfectly all right to get revenge on a head of state with a BS&P device weapon; but the episode is automatically blacklisted (Kit: Not anymore Gregory! Gregory: Play along Kit; play along with this point.) when the weapon is a bomb and it's a Russian stereotype? How can BS&P sleep at night knowing how stupid they are?
Perry is staring at him and then uses his webfoot to wheel the mini forklift towards the right which I betcha is to use the back wings to cut the ropes. So we cut to the living room floor which has the television and the sofa which Lawerence is sitting in enjoying the ride; claiming that he can barely feel the road. Phineas is watching on the sofa with him; Ferb is sitting on top of the television for no reason that I can think of. The floor even does a 90 degree angle spot for fun as Lawerence tells Pinhead Pierre to eat his heart out. Chances off; he will likely choke to death on that; considering his needle sized windpipe. So they fly around as Phineas proclaims that they should take the gang along. So we get a binocular shot inside a tree; and I thought it was Candace spying on the boys; but Isabella is in the tree for some reason. Phineas brings down the flying living room floor to Isabella's level and Phineas helps Isabella onto the carpet as we get the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM. I mean; this would be a song Phil Barron would sing, considering the sweet syrupy sound we hear. Which I do like in small doses by the way. Sky shots of the city as they call it a gird; and then they pick up Buford fishing on the docks with a fishing pole. I betcha Baljeet was the bait attached to the hook because Buford is a strongman musclehead bully. Damn; I'm so good. He's tied up at the moment; with brown colored ropes this time. Geez; Doofensmirtz loves bright colors; what a surprise? So one woman is reading rice in her kitchen and she notices the living room floor flying and almost chokes on her meal. We go under clothesline and man; this song is really good. Again; this is a song that I can imagine Teddy Ruxpin singing and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference. It's called Aerial Area Rug and it's my favorite song on this show not named "A Platypus Is Controlling Me". Isabella loses and regains her socks during this as they do the surprise airplane in flight spot of course. We see the living room floor cut into the cloud and rise above the clouds while Phineas, Isabella and Ferb were kicking their feet. Baljeet does some pointing to a chart that no one gives a crap about. Sorry Baljeet.
More and more flying as Lawerence somehow has a green bowl of popcorn handy and we see Pinhead Pierre on the television screen; which shouldn't be possible unless that television is completely wireless. So we end the sun by looking like they are flying towards the sun as Ferb is standing on the television doing Raven's pose. HE'S HARDCORE! HE'S HARDCORE! Actually; that chant is more accurate than we would like to admit. Lawerence thanks Phineas & Ferb for giving him the ride of a lifetime as Phineas tells Ferb that he can keep his king of the world stance because it suits him. So we cut back to the sidewalk with Candace and her bowl of stolen fortune cookies; along with Stacey and her concern look on her face. Candace reads the next fortune cookie that proclaims that you choose the path few would travel. Geez; we knew that one already. Does it say anything about how moronic that path is? To further prove my point; we see Candace and Stacey walking on dumpsters, on fences, over sleeping cats, inside a poor woman's living room (which apparently; is the human version of Miss Crackshell so I'm guessing that it's a trailer), up a trapdoor elevator. Stacey is asking why she is bothering to do this and Candace claims that it's everything including her obsession with busting Phineas & Ferb. Because she has "Smarter Brothers Syndrome" on the brain it seems. Candace calls the fortune cookies infallable which is no stupider than anything else she has done; and she reads another cookie which reads if it's fishy, it's a fish. Stacey is not amused and we see a giant fish market nearby yelling about fresh fish on sale. I'm skipping some of the details; because the only thing of note of this scene is that Candace calls Stacey a "Doubty Mac Non-Beliefer". I'm waiting to see a troll try that one on RI; and get laughed out of the building. So she drags Stacey in and they do some giant fish tossing to waste time; which Stacey is not thrilled at. Candace calls this foretold and pre-ordained. I think Candace's terrible character was pre-ordained too; but at least I know who controls Candace in this reality.
So Candace reads another fortune cookie and it's one man's trash is another man's treasure and she dives into the dumpster and pops up with a pineapple and branch in her hair. Damn; even Candace's hair is starting to get the same properties Oscar has in his hair. She reads the next fortune cookie which reads success begins at home. No; success begins when the WASPS become destung if you catch my drift. Candace runs out of the dumpster and drags Stacey with her; which Stacey feels that she is a plaything to Candace now. So we head back to the Staininator in the skies as Doofensmirtz calls it a great day to ruin a city hall unveiling of a painting. At least this evil plan was planned in advance instead of after the fact like the last episode was. Doofen goes on and on as Perry does almost exactly what I thought would happen: He uses the back purple wing of the Staininator and whirlwinds down to the sidewalk; giving the mini forklift to a nice woman with a bag filled with food. She thanks him; Perry tips his hat and twists back up the rope. Doofensmirtz goes on and on (getting out a death reference to boot) about emotionally scarring backstories; and then Perry tackles him down from behind like a back fighter. And this somehow makes Doofen ram into the controls and the Staininator goes wild as we discover that it's an oversized paint ball machine gun. Red paint smears on a window as we have a psychitrist doing the "tell me what this looks like to you" spot that is so old; it needs to be barred from children's television right now. We also get one puke green paintball almost murdering a girlfriend of this man who sneezes at exactly the same moment the paintball splats on her head making it appear that he sneezes a hundred million boogers. Okay; that is a neat fart joke. Oh and there is a moment where some old dude is in a white castle drinking tea sitting down at a table. And when I mean white; I mean, the whole place is in dull white color. Why this shot was added; I don't know since it had nothing to do with the episode. This has to be a crack on Z-grade movies; there's no other explaination.
So we head back to the Staininator with Doofensmirtz as he states that the thing works. So; you didn't test this beforehand? Doofen even claims that it has a sense of irony. Oh; I see what he means. It shoots like it ruined his painting. Heh heh heh. Perry attacks from the front and we get the FCC FRIENDLY OFF SCREEN FIGHT OF DEATH; or not as they are hanging from a rope on the back wing as Perry is using Doofensmirtz to sky surf. Wow; Perry was almost like Kit there for a second. Nah; he's still too Darkwing Duck-ish to be that. So we finally head to city hall which looks like a state house which is present in every DTVA cartoon set in the USA as there is a packed crowd as we see Roger on the step with something covered in a grey cloth. Roger has foresaken the pink and is wearing a green suit, green pants, a stripe purple/black tie with lavender hanky in the side pocket and a yellow shirt underneath. He is wearing shoes and he looks like a dork with the glasses on. I should have known politics would almost destroy his soul as an old country rebel. So Roger proclaims that it fills him with pride to present this painting today and since pride is a sin...BOO! HISS! So Roger Doofensmirtz is voiced by John O'Hurley and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): In 1995, he co-starred on the short-lived sitcom A Whole New Ballgame. From 2000–2002, he hosted a revival To Tell the Truth. O'Hurley has been the host of Purina's annual National Dog Show every Thanksgiving since 2002. In 2003, he played the role of Roger Heidecker on the UPN television series The Mullets. In 2004, he hosted the limited-run game show The Great American Celebrity Spelling Bee. In October 2005, he guest-starred in an episode of Drake and Josh. On September 11, 2006, O'Hurley replaced Richard Karn as the fifth host of Family Feud. He left Family Feud in 2010 and was replaced by Steve Harvey.
In March 2007, he took the lead role in the Wynn Las Vegas's production of Spamalot, in which he plays King Arthur. He starred on Broadway and on National Tour as Billy Flynn in Chicago. In July 2008 he reprised his role as King Arthur in the Los Angeles production of Spamalot at the Ahmanson Theatre. In June 2013 he once again reprised the role of King Arthur in Spamalot at The Muny Theater in St. Louis, Mo. He is one of the guest speakers in the Candlelight Processional at Epcot Center in Walt Disney World. O'Hurley is the voice of the owner of the Cow and Corset bar in the Fable II videogame for the Xbox 360. He also replaced Frank Welker as the "Phantom Blot" for Mickey Mouse Works and Disney's House of Mouse.[3] He has also provided the voice of King Neptune on SpongeBob SquarePants and done voice-over work for radio stations, including WBEN-FM in Philadelphia, KPKX in Phoenix, Arizona, and WARH in St. Louis. He is also the voice of Coors Light commercials for more than 10 years. O'Hurley guest-starred in an episode of The Emperor's New School called "Malina's Big Break", and in 2010, guest-starred on Wizards of Waverly Place as Captain Jim-Bob Sherwood. He also played in the award-winning 2000x dramatic series produced by the Hollywood Theater of the Ear for National Public Radio. O'Hurley was a guest star on multiple episodes of the soap opera All My Children during its last month on ABC, in September of 2011, playing Kit Sterling, a producer who approaches Erica Kane to make a movie based on the new book she has just written.[4][5]. On Seinfeld O'Hurley played a fictionalized version of the catalog-company entrepreneur, John Peterman, from 1995 to 1998. In 2001 O'Hurley financed the relaunch of The J. Peterman Company, and thus became a part-owner.[2]
He was a contestant on the first season of the television show Dancing with the Stars which aired during the summer of 2005. O'Hurley and his dance partner Charlotte Jørgensen made it to the final competition, which he lost to ABC soap opera star Kelly Monaco. After fans alleged that Monaco's victory was a set-up, the network announced that O'Hurley, Monaco and their professional dancing partners would face off in a special "grudge match" episode broadcast September 20, 2005. Unlike the first episode, viewer vote determined the winner instead of the three professional ballroom-dance judges. O'Hurley and Jørgensen emerged as the winners. The rematch earned $126,000 for Golfers Against Cancer charity. Afterward the duo produced a dance instruction video called, "Learn to Dance with John and Charlotte". He began his career in The Edge Of The Night as Greg Shaeffer in 1983/1984. Mickey Mouseworks as The Phantom Blot is his DTVA debut and was also King Nova in Buzz Lightyear of Star Command, Brock Rockman in Lloyd In Space, King Wallace/Ancient King in Kim Possible, House of Mouse (Phantom Blot again), The Legend of Tarzan as Johannes Niels and The Emperor's New Sckool as an additional voice. A Remarkable Life (Father David) and Christan Mingle (Donny De Bona) are his most recent credits. He has 118 acting credits, one producer credit (Learn To Dance With John and Charlotte (I'm guessing that is his wife), and 61 Self credit to his resume. He is doing this to benefit the cultural enrichment of the tri-state area which isn't saying all that much actually. One of the denizens has a pointy nose as Roger claims that he was a fan of the fine arts. Doofensmirtz is right on time and calls him a liar while saying his pants on fire in Spanish. Well; that settles it for Roger; he's hosed.
So Doofensmirtz has the green remote (I guess that is what he pushes unintentionally) as Perry attacks him from behind for the third time in this episode and starts pulling his hair...like a heel! Doofensmirtz pushes the button on the remote control and it's set to auto fire for thirty seconds which Perry cannot stop. And Perry simply stops and looks glum. Yeah; don't disable the ship and kill it's aim to stop it; just do nothing. Idiots! Roger then goes into a speech that the painting is actually from Heinz Doofensmirtz which he admits that he destroyed senselessly. Ummm; no you didn't Roger. Doofensmirtz was the one who pushed you, forcing you to have stuff splattered on his painting. Doofensmirtz taunts Roger and calls him an art killer as Roger keeps talking as if he was in a confession as Doofensmirtz wants payback as Roger proclaims that he went and restored the painting to it's former glory taking 20 years as Doofensmirtz sees it and sadly for us; we never see it because the back of the painting is facing the hard camera. Doofen panics and pushes the button on the remote in rapid fire and we get the back painting shot as the purple paintball whizzes on in and splatters all over the painting. I swear this is like a TNA wrestling show. Apparently; Roger appears to get hit; but he doesn't seem to take any paint from the incident. Roger takes it well for someone who went through an effort to redeem himself which was a waste because Doofensmirtz caused most of the damage originally. So he calls someone called Melanie on his next appointment. Then we see Perry sabotage the machine and the gilder (WHAT? Just now?) as Doofensmirtz doesn't care anymore as he feels defeated by his own vanity and his thing freefalls and crashes into the city somewhere in a semi-big explosion. Perry jumps up and uses the orange handglider to keep away from the thing and that is that. So we see Candace running home with Stacey as she notices the living room floor in the sky with the kids singing the Pinhead Pierre song. Wait; so Phineas & Ferb like him now after Lawerence blew him off. Is Disney admitting that kids do like the old of out of style kid shows? Probably not.
So Candace claims that fate is kind and runs into the house. So then we head to the street and discover that the Staininator is destroyed; but the gumball machine part of it is fully intact. Plus; Doofensmirtz somehow is not only not hurt; he's pissed off. Ummm; yeah. Doofensmirtz kicks the oversized gumball machine and a grey paintball gets launched into the air. Candace sees the living room floor come in and a grey paintball splatters on the bottom of the living room floor. Candace runs into the kitchen wearing a tire on her hips, a branch in her hair, moss on her right shoulder blade and a package on her right foot. Linda is cutting apples on the island part as she comments about Candace's new look which symbolizes her character in one next little package. Candace drags Linda into the living room as the knife drops blade first on the cutting board; and we go in and the whole top part is gray with carpet as Linda sees this and is so happy. Wait; WHAT?! But the grey paint was on the bottom of the living room floor; and the top was lighter. So there's no way that this could happen. What a stupid finish here? And to think; this episode was actually progressing real smoothly. Candace stammers like an idiot as Linda asks about Lawerence deciding to not watch television all day. Lawerence claims that he did; and Linda in roundabout terms calls him a kidder. Sure he is Linda as Linda asks if anyone wants Chinese and all the babyfaces walk away except for Candace as Stacey walks in asking if she is all right. Candace crumbles another fortune cookie proclaiming that she doesn't understand why the fortune cookie steered her wrong. So she looks at the message of the cookie and then holds it to Stacey as she states that it reads: Don't believe everything you read; and then states that this is words to live by. Yup. Candace is now officially the biggest idiot in the TRI-STATE AREA~! ZAP! OUCH! Ummmm...I guess Doofensmirtz is in a bad mood today. That ends the episode at 10:50 approx since the ending is basically the ending to the Aerial Air Rug song. That was the best part of this; and this was a good episode with a logic broken ending. Doof/Perry was fine; but the Aerial Air Rug song was epic. *** 1/2 (70%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Wow; I think we got our first legit clunker episode of this series in Candace Disconnected. I will admit that the Mouserice part was tres funny along with the end to the Perry/Doof segment in that it led somewhere and had a payoff at the end along with the sarcastic Norm head that I did find pretty good. However; the rest of it was crap as the writer spent more time making Candace look like a complete idiot who cannot walk by herself without breaking something. She lost two phones in about a half hour and then was stupid enough to act like a stereotypical man in not reading the tutorial beforehand. Yeah; I know that this would kill the plot, but you could have wrote a different plot in that Candace uses the phone to spy on the boys and tries to bust them; but unintentionally sezs goto at the wrong times. Here it was basically Candace being an arrogrent idiot and I had no sympathy for her when she came home because she basically turned heel on the boys after their gesture based on the Pick A Nose finish. I also cannot wrap my head around Karl knowing Candace personally; nor the ending of that episode with Norm knowing about the rim shot app bird; and even if it was a random joke; there was no payoff because the episode ended normally instead of ending with the rim shot sound. Overall; this was a mess that killed whatever sympathy I had left for Candace and now I cannot stand her anymore. Magic Carpet Ride had a bad ending in terms of logic (grey paint on the top despite clearly splattered on the ceiling below said floor? Really?); but it had a great epic parody of a song and it felt so cheerful that I loved it. At least Perry had total justification to stop Doofensmirtz this time because he took out a revenge pact on the mayor of Danville who is his brother which is funny. The Staininator was great and the finish was good at least despite not knowing what the painting looked like. At least they kept the crap of Candace down to mostly Candace reading fortune cookies and getting inspired by them; which at least is no worse than a zealot, so she was an ordinary idiot instead of the horrifying one in the last episode. So a mixed bag of shorts this time. So next weekend; I'm finishing up four shorts this time since I'm going shopping on Tuesday to get Bravely Default. The episodes are Ask A Foolish Question/Misperceived Monotreme and then Mommy Can You Hear Me?/Road Trip.So....
Thumbs down for Candace Disconnected and a thumbs in the middle for Magic Carpet Ride and I'll see you all next time.