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Phineas & Ferb: Ask A Foolish Question/Misperceived Monotreme

Reviewed: 02/08/2014

Ask A Foolish Monotreme With Misperceived Questions!


Time for more Phineas & Ferb from the Perry Files as we continue with the Season 3 onslaught with #120 (3-5a) and #121 (3-5b) on the animation paper. Basically; Phineas & Ferb build a computer that Candace wants to steal so she can use it to bust her brothers again like the gimmick she is now. Doofensmirtz lost the key to one of his "inators" and Perry must find it before Doofensmirtz does. Then Perry is apparently fighting Doofensmirtz for the 100th time in spite of the fact that this is the 121th time we have see Doofen and Perry fight; so they killed their own premise from the very short. However; there are problems for Perry because Candace is taking him to the zoo for chairty work while the boys make a funhouse. Let's rant on shall we...?!

Ask A Foolish Question is written and storyboarded by Chong Suk Lee and Bernie Peterson with story done by Matt Olson. Chong's non DTVA credits: Dexter's Lab to start in 1998, Dilbert, The Oblongs, Time Squad, Tom & Jerry: The Fast & The Furry, My Gym Partner's A Monkey (of course), and most recently TMNT. He did character layout for Avatar: The Last Airbender and assistant direction for Family Guy. Mickey's Mouseworks is his DTVA debut and has also done work on Buzz Lightyear of Star Command, House of Mouse, Dave The Barbarian, Teamo Supremo, Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch, American Dragon Jake Long and Special Agent Oso. That's all. Berine started on Two Stupid Dogs in 1993 and then it was Oh Yeah! Cartoons and Fairly Oddparents for a spell, Chalk Zone, My Life As A Teenage Robot and Time Squad. The Replacements is his DTVA debut. That's it. Misperceived Monotreme is written and storyboarded by Kaz and Tom Minton. Story editing for both episode are done by Scott Peterson. Animation is done by Rough Draft and Suzhou Hong Ying Cartoon Company Limited.


Ask A Foolish Question: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM and then inside the backyard with Phineas & Ferb relaxing as Linda comes in with a pan of fat free whole grain granola bars fresh from the oven (since she is wearing cyan colored oven mitts) as Phineas and Ferb take some granola bars proclaiming that she knows them very well. Linda sezs yes she does and leaves. Phineas then proclaims that since she does nice things for them; it's time to do something nice for Linda. I think just not annoying her like Candace does is doing something nice for Linda in hindsight; but hey, you got to do it otherwise the episode ends before it starts. So Phineas ponders over stuff as the Jepoardy bonus round music plays in the background. So the music has been in the public domain all these years? My mind is blown. Both boys gasp a lot and then Isabella walks in asking what he is doing (and she sounds a lot less condescending than usual) as Buford and Baljeet walk into the backyard as well. Phineas explains that he wants to do something great for Linda and asks for any ideas. Wow; this is the first time Phineas & Ferb are coming up blank for something and asking others for help. That is actually good character development. Isabella suggests cleaning up the house for her; Baljeet suggests getting her a classic wooden slide ruler from Analog Emporium. Buford blows this off because he's not a computer and that is enough for Phineas to say that he knows what he is going to do today. Yeap; they are making a super computer which makes Buford think Linda is a nerd and Baljeet is not happy and blows it off because apparently, he is Analog's pitch man. Pfft; whatever Baljeet. So we head into the living room with the exact same shot as in every P&F episode as Linda walks off with her purse claiming that she is going out to have her hair done in a salon due to a free coupon she got. Candace is sitting on the chair giving her the Gruffi pose as she leaves and the granola bars are in the kitchen. Candace proclaims that she is going to feed hers to Perry instead. Yeah; she hates Linda today; for no reason as she asks where Perry is.

So we see Perry walking in the backyard and change to Agent P in front of a pink flower like bush. He pulls a flower which opens up the obvious grass trapdoor and hops into the hole. He plops onto the chair in front of the monitor of OWCA headquarters as Major Monogram is on the monitor greeting him. Apparently; the entire tri-state area is riddled with holes which we see in the picture-in-picture shot of Monogram. Oh come on Major; you never heard of freeze/thaw methods? I hear they are murder on roads; and one of the holes looks like a sinkhole. Also there are light beams being shot from Doofensmirtz Evil Inc; as seen in the PIP shot. Geez; if this were real life, the police would have noticed this and nip this in the ass quickly; but of course they are lazy as hell; so Agent P has to do the work. As usual. Monogram wishes him good luck and both salute each other. Perry runs to the conveniently placed jetpack and puts it on. Then he rises up towards the ceiling and then we head back to the backyard with the kids unloading and opening boxes and boxes of computer parts in the backyard. TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DEATH ensues as HIT THE MONTAGE~! Yeah; creating a super computer requires a montage. It's the modern era of cartoons; don't ask. VR helmet gets involved as we get science and bunny rabbits. Take one guess who is thinking rabbits. Baljeet is lugging Buford around of course because Buford is a bully. And the CPU monitor has officially confirmed Isabella's crush on Phineas. Baljeet is screwed up since he thinks bricks instead. More doing the robot from Phineas against a green computer circuitboard background. Ferb joins in and his brain is a colored haze of colors. Buford bashes the monitor screen on his version of the VR helmet spot. And yes; this super computer is so powerful; it requires an entire fusebox on the outside. All of them dance the robot for fun and this song was fine. So we finally see the super computer which looks like a giant desklamp; only it has two giant screen monitors for eyes and four screens for it's red/yellow line mouth. It also has solar panels on it's head despite having an electrical source.

I should also note that the desktop CPU has about four cables required to hook it up to the thing; which is supposed to be two. And it's voiced by Corey Burton as Isabella calls the machine cute; which shows that Isabella has tastes in metal objects. So we head to Doofensmirtz Evil Inc as we see the beam blasted from the deck of the building as we hear Doofensmirtz say "that's not it"; which indicates that his beam weapon device is a tractor beam. So we head inside as Perry lands with the jetpack and practices the fine art of not being seen by Doofensmirtz who is at the beam device zapping stuff and throwing stuff into some sort of junkpile. Somehow; this leads to Perry getting cement poured on him; the cement get reshaped with mehcanical arms holding trowels. The cement hardens into a block as Doofen walks over and mocks Perry while knocking on hard cement. Doof's "solid as a rock" promo is "solid as cement"; only it's sort of wet instead of quickly drying like that block. So Doofensmirtz introduces us to the tractor beam known as the Metal Unearthinator. Okay; that is a kick ass booking name and some band needs to steal if before Disney gets it trademarked. It's basically a tripod with a giant sized white neon green trimmed metal detector. Now there's an invention someone needs to make right now! And if we didn't get the point of this device from the start of the scene; it picks up a tin can with the beam. So we return to the backyard as Phineas wants a scan of the tri-state area to give it enough data to work with. So the SCPU talks and does a purple scan of the area. We hit the montage of areas which includes dancing in a junkyard with three goofs in front of a brick fence with barbed wire on top. It's another dance rave as we see a nurse inside the CAT Scan room talking to a patient to hold still. When the scan is in progress; she turns into a skeleton (but the man in the CAT Scan doesn't for no reason) and back. She gets on her cellphone to the union. Then we cut to the closet and we see Norm is back; and even gets a line off. HA! More scanning from the sky shot as the SCPU proclaims that it is done and all logical outcomes have been scanned. Okay.

So we head back into the backyard as Phineas asks if he's ready to answer his questions. This has to be a trick question since Phineas has already asked him a question; and yes, SCPU sounds like HAL 9000 and cuts the same promo the heel SCPU character did in I, Robot. In that it is infallible. Ferb and Phineas giggle like goofballs and the questions start with a math question. The SCPU seems to be bored when answering every question except for Baljeet's question which has something to do with a camshaft; which the answer is to coat the area with tomato sauce and the leak will reveal itself. Baljeet ribs Buford and Buford asks about the size of his pants which the SCPU calls boys, husky, extra large. Okay; that is too much information for something so pointless. Baljeet wins the "best question ever" part of this episode. Baljeet can get his fake statuette on the way out of the backyard. Buford ribs Baljeet and Baljeet claims this he is correct as Phineas thinks he is in working order; so he asks what nice thing to do for Linda. SCPU ponders this over for two seconds and then proclaims that they need to get some industrial marking dye and a leaf blower. Then you tie balloons onto them and then go to the top of Danville Hill and at 2:37 pm; release them into the wind. Phineas is confused as SCPU assures him that it will make her happy; which Baljeet blows off because the slide rule rules in his tiny little mind. Phineas isn't sure; so he'll go for blind faith this time as the kids walk out of the backyard stage right. Baljeet protests that he knows nothing about women and Buford tells him to shut up as they leave. Buford? Feminist? Nahhhhh...So we cut to Candace walking out of the living room through the sliding door with her cellphone wanting to bust Phineas & Ferb and then drops her cellphone in shock. Yes; there is a supercomputer in the background Candace. Why must you look like an idiot? I betcha even the SCPU cannot answer that one. So Candace sees it and starts asking question like the number of states, pancake stuff and pronoucing jalapeno which she screws up as well. She puts two fingers behind her back and the SCPU is right on that which Candace calls freaky. HA!

I should note that SCPU's mouth changes from green to yellow to green depending on when he speaks. Candace then ponders about busting the boys; but then blows it off because every time she does it; Linda doesn't notice it because it's gone before she looks. Then she recoils and starts to do this evil chuckle which is so laughably bad that they have to make it go on for at least ten seconds since they are desparate for a laugh from me. So we head back to the Danville junkyard (which looks less like a junkyard and more of an abandoned parking lot) as a dog is looking for a bone and the beam zaps the ground and unearths another helmet which sticks to the Metal Detector of Death on the lookoff for Doofensmirtz Evil Inc. Doofen grabs it; blows it off wondering why there are so many helmets buried in the tri-state area and chucks it onto the pile with the other assorted weapons and armor. He can start is cosplaying skills now as he goes over to Perry demanding answers as to why he is here. He blows Perry off for thinking that it's for the holes; because that is not his evil plan see. Thnakfully; this goes somewhere as Doofensmirtz reveals the out of nowhere device under a cloth and Doofensmirtz uncovers it to reveal a giant screw. Yes; that is what it looks like as Doofensmirtz calls it the All-Purposeinator. It's an inator's inator; which is like a Cartoon's cartoon; except with more screwage from the execs. It has a box remote on it's leg containing nine purple buttons on the front; one gray button on the front and three red buttons on the left side. He claims that it does everything and it will make his inators pointless; but such is progress. However; he has a problem: See; we hit the flashback complete with a white border as Doofensmirtz steps back to admire his handiwork when he bumped into an open can of lime green paint and it spills onto the floor. UH OH! I think we know where this is going...

Doofensmirtz brings out the WCW KEY OF DEATH and tries to walk; but he steps into the green paint and apparently, this green paint is laced with wet ice like when Mr. Icy Roads rears it's ugly head and trips. He falls down as the key flies into the air from his hands and bounces off the lookoff floor and then over the edge and it free falls towards the grass and lands on the grass near a gopher hole. So Doofensmirtz uses the binoculars to look down and a gopher steals the key which annoys Doof to no end because he thinks the gopher was laughing at him. I am disappointed that the writers didn't think of casting Michael Gough in the gopher's role because it would be funny. Doof backs off because he isn't going to go after it; and so he built the oversized metal detector/tractor beam combo to try to get his key back. Perry is so bored with this; he is playing cards on the cement block. Doofensmirtz admits that he is trying to take over the tri-state area; but doesn't know how with this new device. Oh lord; why must you test Perry so? Doofensmirtz then points out the King card and then blows him off for not even bothering to listen. So we head back to the backyard with Candace and SCPU; as Candace explains her plight with SCPU and then asks how to make Linda see what she has done. SCPU acts like Sherlock Holmes and tells her to build a device that will make Linda see what the boys are doing. Candace brings out the notepad and asks how to start this device. SCPU tells her to get a toaster, a #2 screwdriver, electrical tape and other stuff which Candace writes. So we head back to Doofensmirtz Evil Inc. as Doofen is shooting his metal detector again. Oh boy; that was more disturbing than I had intended. It brings back another three helmets and a chisel; as he also found a thorpy as well. Doofen throws it away and it bounces off the pile and lands smack into the cement; breaking a piece off of it. More shooting off-screen as Doofen complains about why someone would bury a hammer. Oh; this isn't contrived in the very least, no siree.

Doofen throws it back and it bounces off the pile and lands squarely on the chisel's head which causes the cement block to break in two and Perry is free to kick Doofensmirtz's ass with his tail. Doofensmirtz is at the control panel filled with nine purple buttons; so yes, Doofensmirtz loves purple for some reason. Then he turns around to notice Perry is free and wearing a bronze helmet with a morning star. Doofensmirtz claims that two can play this game as he brings out the....I cannot believe I'm typing this...A fan as a shield, an oversized metal ladle for a sword and a radio on his head for the helmet. Yeah; it's "random stuff" day; despite the fact that Doofensmirtz had a half dozen helmets already! Idiots! And you can tell this was intentional because the music slows down and Perry looks shocked. Doofen catches himself and then bails into the pile looking for stuff and then returns with a sword, leather shield and the tiniest helmet he could find. Now that is more like that! That helmet makes Doofen look like a complete tool I should point out. So Doofensmirtz proclaims that Perry shall meety his doom and it is ON BABEE! So we head up Danville Hill with the kids bringing balloons, a leaf blower attached to balloons and a bottle of white marking dye. Isabella is just walking up while Buford is carrying Baljeet like an invalid. Wait; if he's the bully, shouldn't Baljeet be carrying Buford? I'm tired of this confusion with Buford. Is he a heel or not? Phineas tells Buford to step it up since it's almost 2:37. So they get to the top of the mountain and release the balloons with a leaf blower and a bottle of orange marking dye. But the color in the bottle was white dye? Oh never mind; let's follow this thing that will somehow make Linda happy. So Baljeet is put down and they run and hop over the fence. Baljeet of course trips over the fence and pratfalls on his face. Baljeet blows it off and no one gives a crap. Visible minority prat falls are so old that they should be dead by now; but of course they aren't. This episode has been just average so far.

So we head back to Candace with her golden toaster of doom (Eat your toast out James Bond!) in the backyard as Candace asks if she did it right and the SCPU proclaims that she did it right and Linda will find out about the boys misdeeds this time. SCPU tells Candace that Linda is coming home in two seconds as we hear the car horn honking. Candace puts the golden toaster down on the ground and runs out of the backyard. We see Linda's car parked on the side of the road. Candace runs all the way to the driver's side and opens the door to reveal Linda with the most hideous hilarious blond hair style in history. She has a major case of a bad dye job combined with an ugly case of bed head. Linda is angry; mostly about her hair than with Candace this time. Candace doesn't give a crap and drags Linda towards the backyard. Now we head back to the lab of Doofensmirtz evil Inc; and here's what happens: Perry and Doofen mace/sword fight each other. Doofen lifts the mace away from Perry and it lands off-screen with a shattered window sound effect. Oh crap; this show too?! Well; at least we didn't hear a screaming cat. Yet. Doofen thinks he's won so Perry throws his helmet at him and it hits the wooden shield with ease and bounces off. Doofen blows him off for that; so Perry starts tossing helmets at him. Now for the next sequence: Doofensmirtz gets bounced or tripped into the control panel to the Unearthinator and it turns around and fires it's beam. We cut to the backyard as SCPU acts like he saw this one coming a mile away. The beam cuts through the grass and then nails the SCPU. He rises into the air and apparently; the computer is now completely cordless. More on that in a moment. We then see the gopher with the WCW KEY OF DEATH stuck to the bottom of the SCPU as it rises above the rooftops of the house and out of sight. Candace runs into the backyard; opening the door for Linda and of course there is nothing. The kids come in along with the balloons attached to the leaf blower and marking dye as Linda is almost about to explode as she blows off her bad hair day...

Now here's the problem with this: The SCPU wasn't wireless and had four cables. So...HOW?! How did the SCPU manage to fly into the air without any problems? This is the one thing I don't like about this show: obvious bad logic breaks that even small children can see. So we cut to the SCPU proclaiming that the gopher sliding off was planned and the gopher loses his grip on the key and falls down. It lands onto the balloons of marking dye and the bottle of stuff pours down and lands on Linda's hairdoo and it changes completely back to her old hairstyle. Linda is relieved and think that it just needed to settle. The gopher lands on the balloons with the leafblower and that whizzes around for a bit as gopher falls and lands on the golden toaster and it springs up to reveal a spring loaded arm with a purple rimmed mirror to show Linda her new hairstyle. Candace stammers like an idiot as Linda walks off calling this all nice. Candace is shocked and appalled as Phineas now finally understands what the SCPU was talking about: She was going to have a bad hair day; so this device would fix her hair and have a nice day. It's contrived; but who cares? Candace cannot believe this as Ferb gets in his contracted line before Candace blows off computers and storms off stage right. So we head back to the fight as they are fighting with the exact same equipment before the mace was taken away. Another logic break in the last minute of this short is not good as an alarm sounds and Doofensmirtz runs over to the Unearthinator as the SCPU flies towards Doofensmirtz as he proclaims that he saw that one coming. Perry escapes in his jetpack from the building as the SCPU explodes and we do the final spot from the Donald Duck lumberjack short in which his cabin explodes three times in mid air; only it's the top of the building, and it includes the roof slamming into the top of the building. Doofensmirtz is relieved about getting his key; but apparently all the inators in this episode exploded (hard to tell since all of it is in a far shot). Doofensmirtz proclaims that he should have seen this coming; and that ends the episode at 10:52 approx. Good ending; but a pretty dull episode as nothing was funny until the end. To be fair; the story was told well enough and the logic was solid until the end. ** 1/2 (50%).

Misperceived Monotreme: We begin this one in front of the Danville Zoo; as we see an orange truck parked in front of the zoo's entrance. I should note that it's called Foley Freight and I betcha that truck will be used in this episode at some point. A male voice beckons and according to the Disney Captions; his name is Reynolds who I'm guessing is a newsreporter for Danville and the tri-state area. So we head to inside the zoo to a plains which show Perry on a log. Wait; what? There is a camera crew as a reporter wearing a black suit and blacker tie with brown hair; and looking like the most boring reporter I have seen in this series. We discover that there is a female wearing safari gear and has brown hair with green eyes. So Reynolds has the mike and tells us that the female is Tykera Kwok which is an awesome booking name for a female of any type and someone should steal it before Disney trademarks her and makes her a princess in a future movie. Oh wait; it's not Perry because we head to the living room which seems to be refurished and recolored since the last time we saw it; and see Phineas & Ferb with Perry on the couch. So the reporters is totally stupid because he calls the platypus a duck billed beaver. It may be insulting; but there is a nugget of truth in that platypus' usually look like that, at least in this world. Tykera corrects him as she shows what appears to be an egg and mustard sandwich; which the platypus eats. Phineas calls Perry smarter than this sandwich eating loser; thus burying the poor platypus right from the get go. That's enough to make Perry chitter. So Reynold does the standard Fairly Oddparents way of talking (which is to say what we are going to do seeing this) as he wants to see something remotely insteresting. Tykera walks off with Reynolds talking about some animals that I couldn't even care less about. I dislike the "make it so obvious to the audience" stuff because it insults the kids. It's like Vince Russo's Crash TV and Disney should know better than that. This is what happens when you act like kids are morons; and then it bites you on the ass and your shows do a 1.7 instead of the usual 2.0 or better. That is the story of Impact.

By the way; Tykera Kwok is voiced by Lisa Ling and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Ling started in television when she was chosen as one of the four hosts of Scratch, a nationally-syndicated teen magazine show based in Sacramento. At 18, she joined Channel One News as one of their youngest reporters and anchors. Among her roles was war correspondent, including assignments in Iraq and Afghanistan. She has won several awards for her reporting and documentaries.[9] She joined The View on August 2, 1999 after beating out a reported 12,000 hopefuls who had auditioned to replace Debbie Matenopoulos,[10] but left the show after three and a half years towards the end of 2002 to go back to international reporting. She was responsible for proposing segments like investing for women, and, according to Ling, her goal was to say one thing each day that would make people think, whether it made them cheer or made them throw things at their TV. She drew both fire and praise for her comments after the September 11, 2001 attacks, in which she said, "What happened to the United States was a catastrophic event and the worst terrorist attack in human history. Yet maybe before we seek revenge, we should ask the question – why should anyone want to make such an attack on the U.S.?"[11] Ling accepted an offer to host National Geographic Ultimate Explorer. In 2005, the show moved to the National Geographic Channel and returned to its original name, National Geographic Explorer. Ling has covered the drug war in Colombia, investigated the notorious MS-13 gang, and explored the culture of U.S. prisons. She also was allowed to travel into North Korea as part of a medical missionary group, where she and a film team were able to document a rare look into North Korea. The trip was documented in the 2007 National Geographic documentary "Inside North Korea".

She then became a special correspondent for The Oprah Winfrey Show which has featured many of Ling's investigative pieces, including a report on North Korea.[12][13] Ling's title is "Oprah Show Investigative Reporter." She also has reported on bride burning in India, gang rape in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, the Lord's Resistance Army in Uganda, child trafficking in Ghana, under cover investigation of Pennsylvanian puppy mills with Main Line Animal Rescue, the immediate aftermath of the hurricane in New Orleans, and the April 2007 Virginia Tech Massacre. In December 2008, CNN's award winning documentary Planet in Peril featured Ling in the series' second installment, called "Battlelines". She was a correspondent that tracked excessive shark fishing in Costa Rica, elephant poaching in Chad, and gave people an inside look at the battle for the control over oil in Nigeria. On February 16, 2011, her show Our America with Lisa Ling premiered on OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network.[14] She began her career on Channel One news as a anchor in 1990. She didn't do acting of any kind until Ed as Judith Kim in 2002. Phineas & Ferb is her DTVA debut and only appearance. Our America With Lisa Ling as herself (and a producer) is her most recent credit; along with appearances on various talk shows. She has 57 Self credits, two writing credits (ABC News Nightline, National Geographic Explorer), two producer credits (Our America With Lisa Ling), and four acting credits (Touching Ourselves, Who Cares About Girls?) to her resume. So we see Candace on her cellphone come into the living room as Phineas & Ferb have already left; but Perry is still in the room for no reason. Geez Phineas; that's not a good thing to leave your pet unattended. I'm just saying. So we have Candace on the phone with Linda as she walking around town. I'm guessing she's at the Googalplex Mall as she asks Candace if she wants anything and Candace claims that she doesn't. Linda then tells Candace to do something other than phone Jermey. Good luck fool!

Candace hangs up and blows off Linda claiming that she does other stuff. Yeah; and 90% of that is mostly "Bust Phineas & Ferb for no reason" and "Failing at busting Phineas & Ferb for no reason". Phone rings and it's Jermey in his house informing Candace that he'll be there for the big pet wash at the park. Candace is surprised as Jermey explains that he's washing pets instead of cars for chairty. Okay; that is somewhat different at least. So Candace tells Jermey to hold and covers the microphone so she can blow off Perry and calls him a meat brick. Ooookkkkkaaaayyyyyyy. Perry jumps off the sofa and walks off. Apparently; Candace hits platypuses on sofas. So Jermey and Candace talk as Jermey proclaims that he heard that you can tell the personality of a character by how they treat animals. To Jermey: No. There are all sorts of way to tell the personality of a character/person; even down to writing, even if he/she/it is playing a gimmick. Oh; I almost forgot: before Candace came in to the living room; two delivery men brought in a crate of food into the Danville Zoo; a smell comes out of the back of the truck; the Perry clone of doom walks out of the Danville Zoo through the front gate and gets in the back of the truck while the delivery guys blow each off with fart jokes. Yeah; this zoo is poopy when it comes to security. All right; back to Candace as Jermey offers Candace to bring Perry to the chairty wash event in the park and Candace stammers before argeeing; like a moron. She hangs up and she calls for the meat brick; which is Perry. Cut to the backyard with Phineas & Ferb staring at the sky as Phineas proclaims that he is thinking; which is an ultra bad sign for Disney and this show. See; if a character is thinking; execs believe that kids have been betrayed and they'll change the channel. I'm just trying to think like an exec. That's horrifying. Anyhow; Phineas wants to add fun to everything in life as Ferb folds a paper and places it on his face. Phineas checks off various fun stuff including fun origami. That made me laugh for no reason. Phineas notices the paper on Ferb's face making it look like a house and that is what we are going to do today.

So Candace comes in and asks where Perry went and Phineas has no clue. We then cut to Perry in the backyard with his wristwatch as Candace notices him and grabs him; forcing Perry to stop becoming Agent P. Candace walks away stage right blowing off Perry for squirming. Candace rudely informs Phineas that she's taking the platypus as a form of borrowing. Phineas doesn't seem to mind at all. So we head to OWCA headquarters as Major Monogram is on screen while Karl is at Perry's control center tinkering with his bloody red chair. Karl is hard wiring his chair while Monogram wants to know why Perry hasn't responded to his wrist watch beacon yet. Wait; I thought there was no such thing because this is the first time they actually cared about. Why not do it at the beginning of Rollercoaster? This question cannot be answered, do not think too much. Apparently; Karl wants to make himself useful by creating an ultra cool chair that transports him instantly to Doctor Doofensmirtz. This makes Monogram's eyes roll. Oh come on Major! At least the poor toddler's trying not to suck on the government teet. See what I did there? Karl talks about it being like in kindergarden which is funny considering that Major treats him like one. See what I did there too? So we head back to the backyard for the usual deliveryman spot where Phineas signs the papers for another one of his big ideas. This delivery guy is wearing mostly green delivery gear and looks like an officer. I then discover that it's from Foley Freights which means that is the company that delivers stuff to Phineas every episode. I think. The back of the truck is dumped into the backyard and so is the Perry clone as well. We make more smelly jokes as Phineas claims that it came from a lowland gorilla. The trucker dude claims that it's him and Phineas apologizes. The man takes it not so well and walks off stage left. Phineas proclaims that he should talk less; which is funny considering that Phineas is better off as Jay instead of Silent Bob; which is Ferb's gimmick. So they open up the blueprints and discuss where everything should go and apparently there is going to be a liquid nitrogen room. Why? Please explain sir...

So we head back to OWCA headquarters as Karl is now sitting in the chair having some smelly toast. What is with the smell jokes today? Monogram is getting frustrated as he asks about the sandwich. Karl tells us that it's peanut butter, banana and sardines. Nah; I have seen, tasted and smelled worse than this. Mostly Fanboy's favorite lunch which is a jar of Mayo. I just hope it's Miracle Whip because at least MW tastes semi decent. Regular mayo is really disgusting in large doses. Monogram is instantly repulsed as he orders Karl to fix the doors and Karl puts the sandwich down and goes to work again. We see Perry clone as the door opens inside a tree and the smell of his sandwich attracts it. It walks in and plops in front of the chair. Monogram apparently was teasing that it's not Perry; but the delivery the line is so fast that he then states that he is not in uniform. The crack Disney Captions team gave away the surprise beforehand. So a device comes down and it plops a fedora hat on Perry clone. I realize that Perry clone's eyes are red and Perry's are not; but so what? You ever watch Double Darkwings? At least this clone looks almost like Perry; minus the drunk and stupid personality the clone has. Monogram apologizes for being harsh because today is a special day. Today is the day Perry and Doctor Doofensmirtz fight for the 100th time; which Karl blows one blower in response. HAHA! And of course Monogram has apparently planted cameras everywhere so he can watch it all unfold; including one in Doof's bathroom where we see Doofen in green shorts brushing and singing. Remind me to ask how this organization is babyface? Monogram claims that they have hours of that and wants Agent P to make them proud. So we see Perry Clone push a button and a helicopter comes out and the chair flies through the ceiling and into the sky coming out of some random thing no one cares about. I should note that this is really battle #104; but creators have never let something like continuity get in the way of entertaining children so let's move on...

So we head to the park and see the banana yellow start/finish line cloth with red letters "Charity Pet Wash". So we see the various citzens of Danville bring their pets in. We see that Suzy has made a comeback appearance as she is washing her black poodle pet in the tub of soapy water.And to think; this Molly clone actually pleases me more than Candace right now. Funny that. We have Buford clone and Jenny Brown (WOWZERS!) returning as Jermey walks and talks to Candace who is standing with Perry inbetween two tables with wash buckets filled with soapy water and brushes. Oh dear; so this is their version of giving Gary a bath in Spongebob Squarepants. I smell it coming a mile away now. Jermey gets all cute with Perry which did make me laugh since Perry in animal form looks stoned. That's just an obversation; I doubt he is taking drugs. And yes; here comes the Gary rejection spots. Gary Perry blocks her and then gets wet anyway and bails stage left to the tree like a scalded dog. He tries to become Agent P and almost puts the hat on; but Jermey finds him and thus we do the Spongebob trick to change back. Perry chitters as Jeremy gives Candace back Perry and Candace is not amused as she walks away with Perry squirming again which looks so awkward. So Perry hates baths as much as Gary. That makes no sense considering that Perry is an anthro platypus half of the time. So we head to Doofensmirtz Evil Inc. (complete with jingle) as we see a television with Reynold informing us that Perry clone has escaped and judging by Tykera's face, she's stop caring about it and loves the news now. We are inside Doofen's lab (which has a glass ceiling and walls now) as he uses a remote to turn off the television calling it old news. Doofen is more concerned about Perry's appearance and I just realized that the writers have admitted that this whole thing is a complete wrestling-equse work. I mean; how do you plant cameras in Doofensmirtz's building without being seen?

Anyhow; we get the standard breaking through the ceiling by the helicopter as Perry clone comes in and gets out and on all fours. So Perry clone is doing his Perry stoned impression so I don't see how this can be dumb. Guys; watch Double Darkwings and see how much stupider the writers were back then. So PC is caught by the looping cuff of doom and Doofensmirtz throws the remote away on the shelf which is surprisely well animated. Did I mention that Monogram is watching this via his television screen in his office (which we see the OWCA logo in full profile on the wall behind him)? Do I care? Ummmmm...not anymore. So Doofen has another wave cannon device called the Least-Likelyinator which apparently makes them do stuff that they normal don't do. So apparently this weapon has a touch screen because Doofen calls it touchy as it fires a red zap laser out of the building. So we head to ground level at a sidewalk with Isabella catching up to a nerdish boy wearing a blue shirt, gray shorts, white sneakers, black socks, a crew cut style haircut and pink rimmed glasses. Well; that was interesting. This is actually the first appearance for rant purposes of Irving DuBois. Yeah; we need another nerd to play with. Irving is voiced by Jack McBrayer and according to IMDB: Best known for his role as NBC page Kenneth Parcell on NBC primetime comedy 30 Rock (2006), Jack McBrayer was born on May 27, 1973 in Macon, Georgia. He studied theater administration at the University of Evansville in Evansville, Indiana, and went on to work at The Second City and IO Theater from 1995-2002. McBrayer became acquainted with Tina Fey during that time, which helped him ultimately secure the role on 30 Rock (2006). After his time with those comedy troupes, McBrayer frequently appeared in sketches on Late Night with Conan O'Brien (1993) playing a series of stereotypical Southern characters. That stretch lasted from 2002 to 2004, and soon after McBrayer secured his role as a series regular on 30 Rock (2006), which begins its seventh season in Fall 2012.

McBrayer received an Emmy nomination in 2009 for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series for his role as dim-witted NBC page Kenneth Parcell. He was also the main character in "30 Rock" web series 30 Rock: Kenneth the Webpage (2007) which ran from 2007 to 2009 and earned two Emmy nominations for short-format programming. Other noteworthy television credits include a small role on Arrested Development (2003) and a recurring voice on Phineas and Ferb (2007), among others. McBrayer has also worked in numerous movies over the past decade, including Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006), Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008), Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (2010), and The Campaign (2012), and he is voicing the character Fix-It Felix in November 2012's Wreck-It Ralph (2012). He began his career on Early Edition as Teddy in 1999. Phineas & Ferb is his DTVA debut and is Wander in Wander Over Yonder along with Pirate Mummy in Jake & The Neverland Pirates. Cooties as Tracey, The Middle as Ted Goodwin and The Nobodies as Postal Lackey are his most recent credits. He has 53 acting credits and 37 Self credits to his resume. So Isabella comes up and makes small talk with Irving. Irving seems interested; but gets zapped by the ray. Irving blows off Phineas & Ferb as a bunch of losers. Yeah sure; you think you are such a winner Irving considering the fact that you are leaning against a lamp post that doesn't exist and seducing Isabella. Thankfully; reality kicks in and Irving pratfalls on his face. That's the last time we see him in this episode. Hell of a debut for me eh? What; Baljeet isn't available today. Never mind that he also has a crush on Isabella sometimes. So we cut back to Doofensmirtz's lab as he asks PC what he plans to do with this red laser weapon. He wants to make his father love him (which all he could do is die in a horrible Gundam battle), his daughter obey him which means that Doofensmirtz is not happy with Vanessa for some reason.

However; that is going to wait because he is really going to fire the weapon at City Hall to turn his brother Roger into a Disney version of Jim Carrey's main character in Liar, Liar. No pants on fire in Spanish in that movie. Apparently; this action will force the assembly to give the power of the tri-state area to Doofensmirtz. This is REALLY STUPID because this is not how democracy works; but I don't care because seeing an honest politican in city hall would be PROGRESS BABEE! Thankfully; Doofen realizes this and blows PC off. So the remote suddenly drops off the shelf for no reason and it's face down. So the button pushes and PC from bondage; only to walk to a puddle of coffee spilled on the floor. It laps it up and Doofensmirtz blows him off for that one too. I guess he hates Dave The Barbarian spots from Perry. Who knew. So we head back inside Linda's house as a hatch opens out of nowhere and we see Phineas Ferb slide down the blue slide. I see modern technology has found a way to made flourscent pink drywall. Phineas is on his ass as Buford comes in with the giant clown head we saw earlier and asks Phineas where he should put it and Phineas tells him to put it in the clown room. We see Isabella in the "kitchen" or basement using a giant cookie cutter press to create heart shape cookies on the table as she is mixing a bowl of pink dough which she claims to have doubled the recipe. Phineas asks Ferb about the basement spinning room and we see Ferb in the basement snap his finger and the entire background spins as Ferb stands in one place no selling it. So basically the camera is spinning and not Ferb who should be dizzy as hell if this were not the camera doing it. So we head back to DEI (fine; I'll use the shorthand form from now on) as Doofensmirtz mocks PC for doing the Singapore Crab skill set which he learned from Hoboken. So this sensai is from New Jersey? So Doofensmirtz taunts PC with this crawling move which is super hilarious for me as PC ignores him.

Doof proclaims that PC is playing mind games while we see Monogram and Karl sitting on the sofa watching the action. Monogram is munching on popcorn telling Karl to take note. Oh sod off Major! It's not like you have done anything other than eat popcorn, bark orders and go to the shopping mall with Karl as your illegit son. I cannot believe this thing has been a _major_ running joke since I started ranting on this show. See what I did there? Okay; so here's where stuff gets really shaky logic wise: Somehow there is a three story shelf called a Sand-O-Mat which contains various sandwichs which do not smell fishy. PC runs away from Doofen who is taunting him some more as PC goes over and pushes the shelves right onto Doofensmirtz crushing him. Geez; that was out of nowhere. So in the mess; a sandwich lands on a conveniently placed lever (with red ball on it) and another sandwich lands in front of Doofensmirtz. PC runs in and steals the sandwich as Doofensmirtz gets up from the carnage and proclaims that the claws are off and it's time to fight man-style. That is a fool's errand with Doofensmirtz I should point out. So Doofensmirtz chases PC and PC jumps onto the lever (nice balancing act by the inanimate object I should note) and bites the sandwich and the lever to push it down (JESUS!) and Doofensmirtz manages to splatter into the pop up brick wall. This would have been macho-nacho beyond the pale funny if the lever was in FRONT of the brick wall instead of the side. Here's it's only just funny as Doof proclaims that he found his brick wall. I should note that the funniest spot ever was in Polly Wants A Treasure when Don Karnage splattered into a wall in his CT-37 and said "What a lousy place for a wall?!". So close show; so close and yet so far. We zoom out as the sofa is apparently blue as Monogram calls this the March Maneuver (one guess who is referenced here) which he hasn't seen since 1974 which is 37 years ago. So Monogram is at least 53 years old.

Karl states that he had a perm back then (the first zoom out was their backs were facing the hard camera; and then the second shot is the one showing their backs away from the hard camera.) and Monogram orders him to stay off the internet. Why don't you Major?! You seem to be in line for the head of the NSA at the rate this episode is headed. Okay; enough jokes on Majors; let's head back to Candace succeeding in washing Perry and grumbling while doing it. So yes; no Spongebob tricks in this one; thank goodness for time. If this was 22 minutes; I betcha this what 11 minutes of this would be. So Jeremy dries it off with a towel as they call it motherly love. Whatever you say. So then we cut back to PC eating a sandwhich on a table with a pincher of water beside it. Doofensmirtz mocks PC for being like Fanboy according to some stupid TV.com reviewers. Look; I agree that Fanboy & Chum Chum are horrible; but anyone who proclaims that they want to rub burned charcoal on a character until they die or are a bloody mess just for being annoying should go to the emergency room and say exactly what they said on the internet. Family Guy humor in a review is much sicker than seeing it done to Brian by Stewie. Because they're both ficitional; compared to a human being projecting his mental issues into a fictional character. So Doofen tries to grab PC; but PC dodges and runs off after finishing said sandwich as Doofen's beanpole body cannot break the table. HEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I AM THE TABLE! PC runs in and grabs another sandwich placed on a switch like lever (JESUS!) and we go up. I didn't know DEI had a sun roof. I mention this because Doof is quoting about taking this fight publicly. Too late Doofen; Monogram has you licked in that department. So we head back to Linda's house as Candace walks to the side door and lets Perry go in through the doggie door; while Jeremy showers Candace with praise on being a responsible pet owner. Well; she's not bad in that department; so that's four things she does in this show. Five if you include calling Stacey. So Candace opens the door thanking Jeremy...

...and then we get the vacuum cleaner effect as they get sucked into the....FUNHOUSE OF DOOM! We go all out bright colors of doom on the lighting as Candace and Jeremy are inside. Jeremy loves this and thinks Phineas & Ferb are cool. Usually they are; but a funhouse is so passe. A clue: I don't find the colors of the modern era cartoons to be all that bright and they certainly don't make me puke or cause eye strain. Eye strain is usually caused by watching screens way too much; not by colors. Anytime I see someone complaining about the colors used in a show (unless it is due to animation errors; or due to coloring clashing with styles, or in the case of banana yellow, brings up vision of Gedo.) due to vomitting or eye strain, you can tell that they are angry that the show isn't gritty dark or the color of poop (brown); or they aren't realitisc. Never mind that this show has brown and has dark shades. It even does mature lighting on occasion. Remember; the reason they use green/blue lighting in most scenes is so we can SEE what is going on. If they did it the hardcore way; half of the time, it would look like a Z-grade movie which is a lot less cool when done by a cartoon. Candace is not thrilled as they are sliding down a purple slide as we see the giant clown head. Cue the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM and it's a good one too. Not really calling this; but the song is great. More stock stills of earth and more screaming on Candace. Please Ashley; if you are going to do horror; saying "meep" is better for your voice and your acting career. Trust me on that one. OH MY GOD! The floating giant baby head is back in Ferb's Hustler bedroom. Thankfully; Ferb has the mask on to prevent him from seeing the soft core porno of this room. Great spots include the prism Scooby Doo hallway which Agent P is in. A strong man in caveman gear lifting a giant feather; which is funny in itself; but even funnier is Phineas & Ferb juggling 1000 ton weights with their feet. AWESOME! Oh; and we have a random blond haired navy sailor just for no reason. Slides, mirrors, Baljeet looking like a ghoul in one and then the same mirror makes him look different for no reason.

Yes; the naval sailor hair has hands waving in the hair just for you. Why? I have no idea. More hallway madness with Perry and the kids! A Peruvian Llama dressed in a purple dress with the boys dancing. This song alone is funny; but it's also way too random to be awesome comedy. It ends with Candace sliding into the hole which looks like a candy cane whirlpool; and she lands on her ass in the room full of candy and chocolate. So Phineas called Willy Wonka for this stuff? Phineas asks if this was fun to Candace; and would it surprise anyone if she proclaims that it was not and they are so busted now? Candace invokes the pointy finger of death on the boys and we hear Linda outside wanting help with the groceries. We cut to outside as Linda notices Candace in the window (as Candace claims that she stands corrected) and she tells Linda that Phineas & Ferb have built a funhouse inside their house. Linda proclaims that she will see this once someone help her get the groceries in. So we head back to DEI as the roof is opened and Doofensmirtz proclaims that he is going over this the wrong way. A lot like life huh. So here's what happens: Doofensmirtz goes to the Least-Likelyinator and takes the sandwich off the touch screen. He throws it right on the helicopter chair and then uses the device to try to zap PC. PC runs and dodges all laser fire. Apparently; Doofen turns it around and the pipes on the device snap off and act like snakes all around Doof''s body. PC gets into the helicopter chair and flies away. Doofensmirtz blows him off as somehow; the pipes are steam because the device flies into the air; fires one red beam and then explodes. WHAT THE HELL? This is all done with a far shot that I have no idea what caused the device to explode. I club BS&P!

So we see Candace at the window trying to get Linda's attention; but she gets zapped by the stray beam and we play the funhouse song backwards as basically, Candace cleans up the place completely. Oh screw you for eating Isabella's giant heart cookies hanging on the wall. This is actually funnier than the original sequence to be honest with you since this is all done at rapid speed. Navy guy gets thrown in the blond colored dumpster. Perry isn't Agent P for some reason. So everything is rolled up as Candace runs to the camera and asks what the hell she is doing. Answer: You are screwing yourself. That is what you are doing. So Linda comes in and the whole place is normal as she asks about the funhouse. Phineas proclaims that Candace cleaned it up before she could see it. Yes; Phineas & Ferb admitted that they did the deed, and Linda doesn't care anyway. Meep! Yeap; Linda is in on the scheme as is Lawerence. Candace walks in looking defeated as she admits that she did clean the place up herself. Linda calls this unlikely as Ferb agrees with her. Sadly; I wanted to see the giant floating baby head nuzzle up to Candace again; just for old time sake. Oh well; let's return to OWCA headquarters as PC walks away from the place with is hat on the steps. Agent P appears from the ceiling and plops down on the chair as the screen turns on and it's Monogram and Karl surprising Perry with balloons and praise for beating Doofensmirtz for the 100th time (actually; 104th, but who's counting?); and it has a cult following of five million downloads on the OWCA internet. Wait; so there are at least five million employees in this organization? That makes no sense as Perry is as confused as I am; which ends the episode at 10:52 approx. Great episode with a twist finish; but the ending with Doofensmirtz was confusing to me at least, and there was no giant baby head cuddling up to Candace; so it's **** 1/4 (85%). The ED is the funhouse song; so there you go.


THE REVIEW LINE

Well; this took a lot longer than I thought it would; but we got more mixed shorts here. Ask A Foolish Question was completely average with a good ending when the SCPU blew up like a cabin in the Donald Duck lumberjack short. The whole nice thing was blah and the SCPU wasn't much except for the finish when he realized that he was setting himself up for his own destruction which is actually a step above the Auto Aviatar in that department at least. The rest of it was written solid and most of it made sense, but there was nothing memorable about it outside of the finish. Misperceived Monotreme was much funnier and much more compelling even though it killed Doofensmirtz's creditability as a heel (I know; I know, what creditability?). I'm glad that they focused on the Perry Clone/Doofensmirtz battle of wits instead of having half if it being Perry being Gary (which would have happened if this was 22 minutes; mark my words); because that is old and stale as 50 year old bread at this point. Phineas' funhouse idea was passe; but the song and cleanup of the house as the finish was awesome at least. Sadly; despite getting the giant floating baby head coming back; it didn't cuddle with Candace so I couldn't give it a higher rating in good conscience. The ending sequence with the Least Likelyinator zapping Candace was great in terms of a twist finish (Candace screwing herself by getting rid of the funhouse while the song was playing backwards is comedy gold to me!); but the explosion of the device looked confusing to me. I'm starting to get creeped out about Major Monogram and his views on privacy and spying on Doofensmirtz because the tactics he's using is turning him heel even though he is supposed to be a babyface. Doofensmirtz was funny here and he did get off the second best "lousy place for a wall" spot ever in DTVA history (next to Don Karnage's version of course) so overall; I was a happy ranter. So next up is Mommy Can You Hear Me? and Road Trip as Candace has a broken leg and having a road trip while Doofensmirtz has boom juice and chicken soup flashback. Wonderful! So....

Thumbs in the middle for Ask A Foolish Question and a thumbs up for Misperceived Monotreme and I'll see you all next time.

 

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