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Phineas & Ferb: Where's Perry?

Reviewed: 03/09/2014

Anywhere In Damnville!

Well folks; we are finally at the final episodes of the Perry Files: Animal Agents DVD set.This is #168/169 (3-32/3-33) on the animation paper; which means that this is a two part special. As in A Bad Reflection On You two parter. As in 44 minutes long. Basically; the plot boils down to this: Phineas & Ferb go to a sarfari in Africa while Perry must stop Doofensmirtz from taking over the OWCA...or is it Doofensmirtz? HAAAAAAAAAAAAA~! Let's rant on shall we...?!

Where's Perry is written and storyboarded by Bernie Petterson, J.G. Orrantia, Kaz, Aliki Theofilopoulos-Grafft, Edgar Karapetyan, John Mathot, Jon Colton Barry, Kyle Menke, Derek Lee Thompson and Kim Roberson . Story editing for both episode are done by Scott Peterson. Derek Lee Thompson did animation for Quest for Camelot (debut in 1998), Prince of Egypt, The Iron Giant, The Tigger Movie, Looney Tunes: Back In Action, The Simpsons Movie and Brave among other movies. He also did Drawn Together, Sit Down Shut Up, Futurama, Tom & Jerry Tales, X-Men Evolution, and Cars 2. Phineas & Ferb is his DTVA debut and recent credit. He has 20 animation credits, six art credits, and two assistant director credits to his resume. Kyle was art direction for Dino Babies and TMNT 1987 edition in 1995. Other credits include Johnny Bravo, Men In Black: The Series, Godzilla: The Series, The Wild Thornberrys, Rocket Power, Invader ZIM, As Told By Ginger, and Rugrats In Paris. Lilo & Stitch The Series is his DTVA debut and has also done work for Kim Possible. Phineas & Ferb is his most recent credit. He has 18 art department credits, two art director credits and one writing credit to his resume. Animation is done by Suzhou Hong Ying Cartoon Company Limited, Synergy Animation and Wang Films.

We begin this one at the Danville Airport which the building is shaped like an airplane with a lookoff on top of the building. So we head into the airport as all the kids that mean anything (Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Candace, Buford and Baljeet) are with Lawerence, Linda, Betty Joe and Clyde as Linda tells Betty to water the plants during this, so I'm assuming Lawerence and Linda are going on this trip and the seniors are staying home. Betty claims that this is exciting but Clyde claims that their trip was to Arkansas; which Betty finally concedes that it was. So Lawerence is giving Buford a ticket; and no, Lawerence is not a cop. Lawerence talks about his university chum Ignatius has been trying to get the kids over to Africa and his research station for years now. Candace walks over to Phineas & Ferb as Perry is in his animal cage. Phineas claims that Perry cannot wait to meet the wild animals as we head inside the animal cage; and Perry's watch is beeping. Perry notices that it's Major Monogram on the monitor of his watch. Monogram claims that Doofensmirtz's message was intercepted and they need him. Perry is not amused as he now has to miss his family's vacation; but this is an emergency dammit! So Perry must use Host Escape Diversion Techinque B-17; and Perry suddenly sneezes and looks awful. Phineas & Ferb notice right away and yeap; he looks ill. But he isn't as Linda points out that Perry will have to stay home. The "pilot" guy comes in to inform us that transportation of ill animals is strictly forbidden. Phineas wants to stay home with Perry; but Betty Jo tells him to take the flight and they'll take care of Perry. Phineas finally relents as we hear a woman on PA that Flight 4311 is now boarding. #4311 in DTVA speak means that the flight is Bonkers. I was hoping it would be called #4306 which is TaleSpin because that fits the airplane theme better. So Phineas puts Perry in his cage and tells him to eat all of his food and get some rest; as he gives the cage to Betty Jo. So we see Candace standing at the door leading into the airport as she is on her cellphone talking to Stacey; which happens in almost every episode of this series. Get thee a PR agent Candace!

Anyhow; we see Stacey inside a room (I'm guessing that this is her bedroom) as there are medals, trophies and a poster above the bed that reads "Paisley Sideburn Brothers In Concert". Oh new Disney, you didn't think I didn't notice that you are ribbing the Jonas Brothers, the boy band you thought would make more money than Hannah Montana. Well; it didn't. Anyhow; they are talking about Jeremy wanting to say something in person to Candace and Candace is insecure about the fact that he has not shown up yet. We hear the voice on the PA again that this is the final call; and Candace blows it off as we see that the call was done by a dark skinned female wearing a blue suit with a black skirt and a red band around her neck. The female isn't amused and storms off stage right; coping an attitude. Flight Attendant is voiced by Vanessa L. Williams and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Williams broadened her ascendant music career into a theatrical role when she was cast in the Broadway production of Kiss of the Spider Woman in 1994.[22] She was also featured in the Tony-nominated and Drama Desk Award nominated performance as the Witch in Stephen Sondheim's Into the Woods in a revival of the show in 2002, which included songs revised for her.[23] Other notable theatrical roles include her performances in Carmen Jones at the Kennedy Center,[24][25] the off-Broadway productions of One Man Band and Checkmates, and the New York City Center's Encores! Great American Musicals in Concert, St. Louis Woman.[26] In 2010, Williams starred in a new Broadway musical revue entitled Sondheim on Sondheim, a look at Stephen Sondheim through his music, film and videotaped interviews. Sondheim ran from March 19 to June 13 at Studio 54 in New York City.[27] As of April 26, 2013, Williams will be starring as Jessie Mae Watts in the Horton Foote play The Trip to Bountiful.

Based on the 1985 movie of the same name, this production is scheduled to run from April 26 to July 7, 2013, at the Stephen Sondheim Theatre in New York City.[28] Williams has appeared in several feature films. Her most prominent role was in the 1997 film Soul Food, for which she won the NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Actress in a Motion Picture. Williams appeared in the 1991 cult classic film Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man. She also co-starred with Arnold Schwarzenegger in the movie Eraser[29] and opposite Chayanne in Dance with Me.[30] In 2007, Williams returned to the big screen starring in two independent motion pictures, the first being My Brother,[31] for which she won Best Actress honors at the Harlem International Film Festival, the African-American Women in Cinema Film Festival and at the Santa Barbara African Heritage Film Festival, and the second being And Then Came Love. In 2009, she starred alongside Miley Cyrus in Hannah Montana: The Movie.[32] Williams stars as Janice in the movie Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor'.[33] Williams' first television appearance was on a 1984 episode of The Love Boat, playing herself.[34] She subsequently made guest appearances on a number of shows, including T.J. Hooker, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Saturday Night Live, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, LateLine, MADtv, Ally McBeal[35] and Boomtown.[36] Her appearances in television movies and miniseries include Perry Mason: The Case of the Silenced Singer and The Jacksons: An American Dream as Suzanne de Passe. In 1995, Williams starred as Rose Alvares in a television version of Bye Bye Birdie, a Broadway musical from the 1950s. She played the nymph Calypso in the 1997 Hallmark Entertainment miniseries The Odyssey, starring Armand Assante.

She appeared as Ebony Scrooge the Ebenezer Scrooge character in an update of Charles Dickens' story A Christmas Carol called A Diva's Christmas Carol. In 2001, Williams starred in the Lifetime cable movie about the life of Henriette DeLille, The Courage to Love. In 2003, Williams read the narrative of Tempie Herndon Durham from the WPA slave narratives in the HBO documentary Unchained Memories: Readings from the Slave Narratives. In early 2006 she starred in the short-lived UPN drama South Beach.[13][37] In 2006, Williams received considerable media attention for her comic/villainess role as former model/magazine creative director turned editor-in-chief Wilhelmina Slater in the ABC comedy series Ugly Betty.[13] Her performance on the series resulted in a nomination for outstanding supporting actress at the 59th Primetime Emmy Awards.[38] She also provides the voice for the main character in the PBS Kids version of Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies. In 2008 and 2009, she was again nominated for outstanding supporting actress in a comedy series for Ugly Betty.[13]Williams joined the cast of Desperate Housewives for the seventh season.[39] Williams portrays Renee Perry, an old college friend/rival of Lynette Scavo (Felicity Huffman), as the new vixen on Wisteria Lane, moving into the late Edie Britt's old house. In 2012 she began starring in the ABC supernatural drama series 666 Park Avenue.[40][41] Williams has appeared in advertisements for RadioShack.[42] She is a spokesmodel for Proactiv Solution,[43] and was the first African-American spokesmodel for L'Oréal cosmetics in the late 1990s.[44] Her other media appearances include endorsing Crest Rejuvenating Effects Toothpaste,[45] endorsing Disneyland and Universal Studios in a VisitCalifornia advertisement for British and Irish television in 2008, and hosting the 6th Annual 2008 TV Land Awards show.[46]

She appeared on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire in 2000 as a contestant, and once again on August 10, 2009, as a celebrity guest during the show's 10th anniversary prime-time special editions, winning $50,000 for her charity.[47][48] In a commercial that began running during Super Bowl XLVI in 2012, Williams voiced the new character Ms. Brown, a brown M&M.[49] She began her career with various voices in Live From Lincoln Center in 1979. The Proud Family as Debra is her DTVA debut. The Trip To Bountiful as Jessie Mae Watts is her most recent credit. She has 54 acting credits, 25 soundtrack credits, 159 Self credits and four production credits to her resume. So we head to a shot of the airplane and then inside the airplane as Lawerence and Linda sit down in their seats. Linda is reading a yellow book which appears to be a African tourist guide; while Lawrence has his backpack. Apparently; Lawerence got reservations at the Chez Afrique which according to the guide is the ultimate romanatic destination for dinner in Africa. So apparently; even in 2012, they are still referring to Africa as a country. Lawerence talks about pamoramic views and he sees one right now, which Linda is impressed with his metaphors. Only Lawerence wasn't doing a metaphor because he sees the tiny suitcases on the tiny truck. Linda doesn't seem to mind as we have Baljeet being bullied by Buford on an airplane. Now all we need is F'n snakes on this F'plane, and this would be a compelling movie. Or not. So Baljeet is lifted and plopped into the middle seat. Wait; so what was the point of this? Because even if Buford sat in the middle; he's still next to Baljeet regardless. Why not force Isabella and Baljeet to switch places so Isabella is in the middle? So Baljeet proclaims that you cannot solve all problems with muscles, you have to use your brain. Ummm; the brain is a muscle you fool! Buford counters that he likes brain with butter and garlic. Ooookkkkaaayyyy. We see Phineas sulking at the window seat sighing that Perry would love sitting on the tarmac for no reason.

We then zoom out and see Ferb wearing a bunch of colored inflatable tubes around his neck and shoulders. Apparently; this also shows that Ferb's pants are about two feet above his chest for no reason. Phineas claims that Perry would have loved that visual gag too. How could you tell Phineas? In Perry mode; he has one emotion, which is stoned face. Why do people complain about Phineas being happy all the time (despite that he is not happy here); but clam up when Perry in animal mode is stone faced? So we see the dark skinned flight attendent (who apparently had changed her hair in the last 30 seconds or so) talking to Isabella while handling a glass of orange soda on the rocks with a straw. We discover that the female FA was a former Fireside Girl and the orange juice glass is for her. Baljeet deadpans that networking is everything. I was hoping he would say: Ask Brian Knobbs about it. Doesn't happen sadly. So Isabella talks too fast here; but the guise of it is that the Fireside Girls have their own chapter in Africa; and their own special edition patches to earn. Now this would sound like the Fireside Girls are ultra enlightened; but here's what those special patches are. Patch #1: "Id'ing fauna and flora". Okay; that one is fine. Patch #2: "Finding water". Wait; so they need a special patch for something so universal? Patch #3: "Eating a Grub". Wait; so in order to get this patch; you have to eat a brain? I realize this because Buford makes the same brain counter to Baljeet to Isabella. Isabella frowns on cue as Baljeet is not amused and does the Gruffi pose; which shuts up Burford for no reason. Baljeet tells Isabella not to worry about getting every patch; but Isabella scoffs at it and blows off Baljeet for not realizing the words coming out of his mouth. Yeah; that's quitter talk Baljeet. So we see Candace at her window seat talking about Jeremy because she's insecure as usual. So the cellphone rings and Candace tries to answer it; but she gets cut off for no reason. So the FA tries to inform Candace that they are taking off; so hang up the phone for safety of course. Candace pleas that she needs to call her boyfriend. Wait; so Candace got cut off, so it was already hung up. WHAT?!

Second; no, I'm not going to bother addressing this because the question is obvious here. I have accepted the fact that Candace is a dumbass moron on par with Fimberly. The FA tells her not to call until they land and that'll take 18 hours. Candace curls up in the fetal position groaning. Yeah; because being without a phone for 18 hours is cruel and unusual punishment for Candace. I can understand her not having internet access for eighteen hours; but a cell phone? Just to call the same two people over and over again? The plane takes off and we head back to the Flynn-Fletcher residence as Betty Jo and Clyde are in the living room putting a blanket over Perry's body as he rests in the green basket. So there is a green box of tissues as Perry sneezes for a bit. Betty wonders about platypus sounds when sneezing and Clyde walks off stage left to find his monotreme manners book. This surprises Betty Jo as she walks off with Clyde as Cluyde claims that she doesn't know everything about him. That's not a good sign for a relationship, methinks. So as they are gone; Perry shoots out of the basket and uses the box of tissues as a model dummy. Apparently; he peed on one of the tissues because it turns yellow for some reason. He then puts eyes on the thing and then goes down to OWCA headquarters; plopping right in front of the computer. Major Monogram is on screen to inform us that the text message they got from Doofensmirtz...music dies...isn't enough to warrant missing a family vacation. That is so TUFF Puppy-equse, I don't know if I should cry or laugh at this point. He no-pologizes (my bad) and claims that the text was written in all caps; but that was an error on Doofensmirtz's part as Agent P has the Gruffi pose on full blast. I don't blame him; since Monogram is a total moron when it comes to text messaging and high tech stuff. So the hand helicopter drops from the ceiling; Agent P grabs it and flies up into the ceiling as Monogram wants Perry to check out this lead.

So we head to a sky shot of Jomo Kenyatta International Airport which is in Kenya! Then why not just say "We are going to Kenya today! Which is in Africa.". Why must it be just Africa? What is the logical explanation for this; other than the writers are a bunch of WASPs. If they knew that the airport was in Kenya; then there's no excuse in just saying Africa. The woman on the PA sezs Jambo; which must mean hello in Swahili because she welcomes us to the airport. She also speaks Swahili by the way. We head into the luggage conveyer as we see everyone getting their bags and leaving. Then we get Candace on the convyer belt for no reason. We see a couple (the female is wearing yellow sandals, the male is wearing glasses and a green sweater) claiming that Candace is not their daughter because she doesn't have blond hair and then we see a blond haired girl in a yellow shirt with purple shoes groaning about 18 hours with no texting. I am so not amused by this. So Lawerence and Linda lift Candace off the conveyer belt and Candace starts calling on the cell phone right away; and the female voice tells her that the call cannot be completed. Candace protests this as Baljeet asks if she has an international calling card; and Candace asks for his. Baljeet claims that he doesn't have one as Buford brings in his cards of doom and dares Candace to pick any card. Candace blows him off for doing a magic stunt; but Buford responds that he's only giving away free cards. Baljeet asks for one and Buford blows him off because Baljeet must always be the dummy for Buford to play with; since he's a racist bully. Lawerence is called hairy Larry as a dark skinned male wearing a brown shirt, pants, boots and a hat approaches Lawerence. Linda is confused about this as Lawerence claims that he has no photographs of him between 1976 to 1979. So he won a copyright lawsuit and had all photos of him from 1976-1979 censored? Oh never mind; we meet and greet as the dark skinned figure is Ignatius Ukarimu, Lawerence's college chum.

Iggy Ukarimu is voiced by Edi Gathegi and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Gathegi's first professional role was the Haitian Cabbie in the 2006 film Crank. Though he had originally auditioned for the role of Kaylo, the producers gave the role to Efren Ramirez and instead offered Gathegi an appearance as the Haitian Cabbie.[4] He was dubious at first about performing a Haitian accent, but was coached by a Haitian friend.[4] In 2007, after guest-starring on Lincoln Heights and Veronica Mars, Gathegi went on to star as Bodie in Death Sentence, Darudi in The Fifth Patient and Cheese in Gone Baby Gone. He later had a recurring role as Mormon intern Dr. Jeffrey Cole on the television medical drama House, his character was often mocked for his religious beliefs by Dr. House, who himself is an Atheist. He also guest-starred on CSI: Miami, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation and Life on Mars in 2008 before being cast as Laurent in Twilight. When Gathegi first auditioned for the 2008 film, adapted from the same-titled first book in Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series, he had not heard of the series and was not aware that his character was a vampire.[5] He now has read the whole series and calls himself a hardcore fan.[5][6] He will play A-Guy in Son of Magnet. He portrays Eddie Willers in Atlas Shrugged (2011), based on Ayn Rand's novel of the same name. He began his career as a cab driver in the movie Crank in 2006. Phineas & Ferb is his DTVA debut and only appearance. This Isn't Funny (Ryan) is his most recent credit. He has 33 acting credits and six self credits to his resume. Candace comes from the right side somehow and she shakes hands with Iggy. Iggy is trying to get a word in edgewise; so Candace cuts him off asking if there is a phone from his research station. Linda is about to blow off Candace for being rude and she still smiles while doing it. That was awkward. Iggy claims that teenagers will be teenagers. No, no they aren't.

Lawerence assures Candace that there is a phone at the research station because Africa is not primitive. Then say that you are in Kenya you racist assholes! So Iggy grabs some of the suitcases and proclaims that the giraffe is waiting and everyone looks not amused by this; so Iggy claims that he was just kidding. Not the place to be kidding sir. So we head to Doofensmirtz's Evil Incorporated as Perry lands on the look off; gets trapped by the bondage cuffs of doom and Doofensmirtz appears to tell us his backstory again. Now this is fine and all; but it is sped up like in Benny Hill. Or half of the opening in Teletubbies. You know I'm in such a good mood when I go for that reference! So we get a long shot of Doofensmirtz in old country gear, barefoot and miserable because he's flabby. So we return to reality (no, not really) as Doofensmirtz shows off his Fitness-Lock-Inator. Which is another laser device with a treadmill on it. He gets on said treadmill and runs because he'll lock the machines in the Tri-state area. Everyone will get fat and tired as Perry breaks free instantly as Doofensmirtz wants to take over city hall again despite the fact that there is lots of ways to walk in Danville. So Perry is free; Doofensmirtz pushes the self-destruct button and destroys his machine. Blah! Blah! Blah! He curses Perry as Perry flees on his helicopter glider and that's that. Yeah; this all happened in a span of less than a minute. Then Doofensmirtz (who is covered in ash and soot) then starts getting evil because this was a swevere; because he really built a decoy-inator. He calls for Norm and Norm arrives to call him sooty face. So now that Perry is out of the way; he has the rest of the day to get it out of his system. So he brings in the Ultimate Evil-Inator; which in a shock of all shocks, it's a hot rod monster truck with a goat skull in the front. Anyhow; Doofensmirtz proclaims that fighting Perry is a waste of time and he is going to fight the big boss of OWCA. Norm asks if it's Major Monogram at almost every sentence and Doofensmirtz blows him off for ruining it and praises Perry for not interrupting him like this.

Anyhow; the guise of this is that his device will turn anyone evil. He is going to zap Major Monogram to turn him evil and thus be his sidekick as Doofensmirtz is going to take over OWCA; thus assuring his domination of the Tri-State area. I cannot take this plan seriously even if the plan is actually a decent one. That goat skull front of the UEvil-inator does it to me sometimes. So Doofensmirtz pulls the U-Evilinator into position as he states that Major Monogram is going to bathe on the sunroof of OWCA headquarters which is far off into the distance where anyone can see it. If this doesn't prove that the whole OWCA/Love Muffin thing is a work; then nothing will. Then we get a whiplash jump cut of Doofensmirtz firing the beam into the sky as it hits off a sattelite dish. We then cut to Major Monogram wearing a banana yellow/white trim trunks and he has hairy legs like Doofensmirtz. He is looking at something with a grey mirror with green points on the top and the sides of the mirror as he calls Karl asking about his uvula being enlarged. So we see Karl at the BBQ flipping burgers as Monogram points the mirror at Karl; which the red laser beam (so much for being original) and it hits Karl as he does the impossible Spongebob Squarepants convoltion spot (even loses his shoe at one point) and the BBQ pit get tumbled over. Karl goes "Meap" and dies. Okay; maybe not die, but he's out like a light. Don't worry folks; there is a "Meap" episode rant coming soon, I promise three. Doofensmirtz has the binoculars on as he is looking at something; but it's not OWCA headquarters since he cannot see it from here. He's actually crackeling at his cat shredding the neighbours blinds. That is just pure evil as Doofensmirtz proclaims that it should have hit it's target; and calls for Norm to pack up the inators because he has a new headquarters BABEE! He also tells Norm to lift with his legs which is good to know. So we head to Iggy's research station which is on a cliff with two airplanes, two trailers and one big tent. There is also a baby elephant walking around on the grounds as everyone gets out of the truck.

Iggy welcomes us to the station as Phineas asks what is in the tent and we discover that it is full of scrap metal and parts from building the research station. There's only one tent, two trailers and two airplanes; and they have that much left over? FACKING BULLSHEET~! Phineas claims that he had him at scrap; Ferb had it at scar. Buford asks when the safari will start and Iggy informs us that it will start after the truck is refilled. Baljeet asks for bathrooms; and Iggy claims that there is a fig leag with his name on it. So; they aren't primitive enough to have airplanes and trailers; but they are primitive when it comes to bathrooms? And he's not joking this time as Baljeet blows him off for being primitive I guess. So Candace runs in as another dark skinned female in safari gear with a clipboard is analyzing a monkey in a cage. Candace demands a phone to her and at this point, I just want to skip this, but I have a rant to finish so I have to explain what happens here. The female shows her white cellphone but the cell towers are down for maintance as Candace groans in her hands while a monkey plays phone with a banana. Candace is so addicted to that cell phone that she asks if the banana has international coverage. So Iggy calls on everyone to come aboard the truck jeep of doom because it's time for a safari. YIPPEEE! Buford does a Z-grade impression of the Lion King sunrise spot for fun and for Baljeet's misery. So everyone is in the truck jeep and we invoke the Lion King version of the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM. So Isabella gets baboons to come to her after feeding one of the baboons with a banana. Ummm; I don't think you are allowed to do that sweetie. Candace gets chased away by a cheetah and I don't blame the cheetah since Candace would probably use one as a cellphone. Day to night sequence ensues; then picture taking with Isabella and Phineas as we see Ferb on a rock dressed up with a wooden spear. Then we see Buford using a stick on an antihill and he eats the ground and ants! Wow; that was actually gross and dangerous. Wonderful parallax scrolling on the Isabella sequence with the grass.

So we get elephant chasing and probably excited that Baljeet is waving at them as a baby hippo jumps on hippos and dives into the water and then pops up with a few other hippos. Baljeet and Isabella cover their noses; Buford doesn't as we see warthogs pass by. We have a picnic in front of the gazelles; bucking gazelles chasing Candace, Buford grabbing on the legs of the gazelle. The Flynn-Fletchers are hiding behind a camflague barrier which is movable and they take pictures by the sleeping lions and then get chased by the "sleeping" lions. Then we get more driving on the truck jeep with the elephants passing by and then head to inside an abyss which everyone gets out. Iggy calls this the uncharted gorge which is Haijulkani Wadi; which is a neat name, but it's ruined by the joke because it means uncharted gorge. I don't think using booking names in other language to mean simple english words is funny. We're not supposed to know what Haijulkani Wadi is until after he sezs it. But he said the english name before the booking name. I don't think it's funny. Ferb gleefully sezs it all on that name as Iggy claims that you would need a highly unconventional vehicle which Phineas repeats while being spaced out; and then proclaims that he knows what they are going to do today; 11 and a half minutes in. So we head back to the research station sky shot as the baby elephant is gone. Awww; sadface. Anyhow; we hear the end of the conversation that there are no kangeroos in Africa because Buford is highly uneducated. The truck jeep stops and Linda wants everyone to give Iggy a hand for the marvelous tour and they pop for him. Well; the song was good, so YAY! Everyone gets out as Iggy is about to walk away to clean out Kalama's pen and this is not all glamor. Phineas then asks Iggy if he can use some of the scrap metal to create an unconventional vehicle and Iggy tells them to help themselves. Phineas thanks him and leaves as Iggy think they have such imaginations. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments.

We cut to Linda and Lawerence talking about everyone finding something to do; and so they can have that romantic dinner at Chez Afrique; as Linda is Chez Ak-freaking out. Lawerence calls this a good one and they leave. I didn't think that joke was funny either; it felt forced. So we head to OWCA Secret Headquarters...which is not secret at all...and we have more evidence that this is all a work because the sign has a disclaimer on the bottom that reads "Pay No Attention To This Sign". HAHA! We then hear Monogram coming out of the side door as we see Doofensmirtz's truck parked beside it with the back already open. Doofensmirtz comes out with a box that reads dishes. Monogram asks if this is a sign that Doofensmirtz wants to surrender. Now you would think that Doofensmirtz would have realized that Monogram is clearly not his mind slave; well, his IQ is less than eight and it's time to sell. Doofensmirtz blows him off and hands him a box as Monogram will not handle a box; but does anyway. Doofensmirtz and Monogram walk into the building which is the garage area as Doofensmirtz asks how it feels to be evil; which Monogram blows off. Monogram claims that he's good which isn't saying much as Doofensmirtz ribs and winks at him. Monogram blows him off in both that he's evil and the winking wordplay stuff. What a fuddy duddy?! Doofensmirtz and Monogram walk forward and Doofensmirtz then realizes that Monogram is not evil and asks about who the Ultimate-Evil-inator zapped. So then a huge kibble drops down and binds them together as Karl comes out of nowhere stroking a skull claiming that he has then trapped and it's time for him to put his plan into action as he'll take over the Tri-State area. He has access to OWCA SCPU and has great photocopying skills; which he is the unpaid stooge to pull this off. Doofensmirtz asks if it hit Karl and Monogram blows him off. Doofensmirtz then asks about the skull Karl is stroking. Sadly; we'll never know because that ends the segment almost 13 minutes in. Well; this was okay so far...

After the commercial break; we head back to the African plains as Isabella is humming with four Kenyan natives wearing sandals as they float up and down without jumping at all. Isabella is in glee because that is the Adumu (a Massasai dance) that they were teaching as one of them is Sankei and he's the one who was gleefully excited with that spear of his because he was taught the "Izzy's Got The Frizzies". HAHA! Nice to see Isabella being an ambassender of good will in these tough times. So Isabella walks off as Sankei wishes her good luck in getting the "Eat A Grub" patch; as he calls it yucky in roundabout terms. One of the female dancers is confused because she didn't have to do that when she was a Fireside Girl. Or more accurately; she doesn't recall, which probably means that she did and she repressed the memory. So we cut to the boys in front of the trees with easels of various drawings of African animals. Sadly; the animators are too cheap to draw an animal in two of the more faraway easels. Isabella asks what'ca doing almost 13 and a half minutes into this thing. Phineas claims that they are using the easels to pick out animal attributes for their unconventional vehicle. And it just occured to me that the jeep they were in as as unconventional as they come. Unless that is a weird looking hummer. So we get the explanation via the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM. Why do I imagine that this was originally a 22 minute episode and they didn't have enough pointless songs in it; so it expanded to 44 minutes? We get a monkey glands shot from a blinder picture as the unconventional vehicle looks like a robot chimera only in African form. Well; that was different at least. So we demonstrate the vehicle chimera for a bit and it's an impressive looking machine in terms of usably. And it can dance; and yes Phineas is controlling it with levers inside. JESUS~! Phineas's happy face while using the lever did make me laugh because his entire face doesn't move even when his head does. Of course the song ends as they are at the Haijulkani Wadi leaping around. Unconventional vehicle indeed and in a surprise, we have gone almost 15 minutes without Candace busting the boys; and almost 10 minutes without going back to Phineas's house...

Sadly; the later one streak has to come to an end as we head to the Flynn-Fletcher residence as Betty Jo is talking to the real Perry resting in the green basket as she feels bad for Perry for not being able to go to Arkansas with the boys. HA! I betcha she has never been to Arkansas before either. So she walks off stage right as Perry produces a photo of Phineas & Ferb together and sulks. So we head back to OWCA "Secret" Headquarters as we head to the holding cells with Doofensmirtz and Monogram in jail. Now for some reason; I guess justice has truly been served. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! POW! OUCH! OUCH! Ummmm... So Doofensmirtz is confused about his intellegence reports saying he would be sunbathing and not an interm. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Doofensmirtz and intellegence simply do not compute as Monogram admits that he is unpaid. Despite the fact that Karl already mentioned it in his evil speech earlier. Monogram claims that he is on college credit which Doofensmirtz asks if he really is not evil. HAHA! Monogram then does the standard "you cannot keep us in here" speech which is still pointlessly dumb to say. The only reason he said that is because there is a self serve smoothe machine in the back of the jail cell out of nowhere as usual. Karl claims that he's evil, not uncivilized. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Is there any difference Karl? I don't think so. We see Doofensmirtz drinking out of a straw and in the pink cup is Madagascar Chocolate which Karl points out that he should try; as Doofensmirtz likes it because you can really taste the Madagascar. Monogram calls Karl a solid B+ student with a bright future; and what is the point of this? Karl proclaims that he'll tell him...through a rock song version of the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM. Monogram and Doofensmirtz wonder if they are watching Karl cosplay Don Karnage from Plunder and Lightning Part III; because there is a laser weapon in the background. Spotlight and smoke ensues and I'm not calling this. The guise of this is that Karl has had enough of being a pawn for OWCA and he wants to be evil for extra credit. Red spotlight as Karl rips off the uniform for a SWANK black leather jacket and I'm loving evil Karl already.

Sadly; the problem with this is, he's not over as a good guy. Ron Stoppable had the same plotline; but he was already over as a babyface, and got even more over as a heel for awhile before reverting to lovable Ron. Karl is a bit character at best. No one cared about him until the heel turn; so logically, just keep him heel. However; status quo is the rule of Disney in general and he has to turn babyface and once he does; we'll stop caring about him like we always do, because he is a bit character. Awesome song with backup singers out of the wazoo. He destroys an OWCA video game arcade machine with a remote control; which makes him an even cooler heel and Doofensmirtz at least is taking this takeover well despite the fact that he is Karl's prisoner. The backup singers are basically female versions of Karl with three different color hairstyles as we end the song and now Monogram is drinking a smoothe while blowing off Karl claiming that he'll always be an unpaid interm with capable singing chops. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. So Karl tells him to drink up his smoothe as he opens the cell to Doofensmirtz as he orders Doofen to unload the inators right now. Doofensmirtz tries to point out the obvious; but Karl blows him off and Doofensmirtz is now Karl's unpaid interm as Doofensmirtz walks out stage right. Monogram turns around and notices a gray smoothe cup claiming that he has a good idea, but like that idea before which we never know because he stammers. So we head into the Kenya plains as Lawerence is driving a jeep. Linda is in a blue dress; while Lawerence is in a blue suit because apparently; this Chez Afrique is very formal in terms of outfits. They drive up the spiral road to the restaurant which looks like a hut of some sorts. We head inside as the place looks mighty ancient and there are at least six people in a lineup as the Matire'D in a red uniform informs us of the menu for the evening which is Wilderbeast under glass. THAT WAS WEAK! THAT WAS WEAK! Remember that for later on as Linda and Lawerence are impressed. I'm not.

The Matire'D is voiced by Harold Perrineau and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): In 1989, Perrineau was cast as the original Tyrone Jackson in the world premiere of the stage adaptation of the 1980 hit movie Fame (now known as Fame: The Musical) at the Walnut Street Theatre, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.[3] Perrineau took the role of Link in The Matrix series after the original operator Tank was written off the script when Marcus Chong was fired over money disputes.[4] Lost co-star Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje starred with Perrineau on the HBO series Oz. Perrineau played the character Michael Dawson on ABC's hit show Lost. He was temporarily written off when his character left the island with his son at the end of season two and did not appear at all in season three. In July 2007, it was announced Perrineau would return to the main cast for the show's fourth season.[5] However, this return was short lived, as the fourth season was his last as a regular cast member; Dawson died in the season finale. He made one guest appearance in the sixth and final season. He stars also in 30 Days of Night: Dark Days along with Rhys Coiro, Mia Kirshner, Kiele Sanchez (also a Lost co-star), Diora Baird and Monique Ganderton.[6] Perrineau appeared in the 2008 music video, "Yes We Can".[7] Perrineau voiced the title character from Marvel's new Blade anime series on G4 January 2012. He has been cast to play the character of Damon Pope the main antagonist of Season 5 of the hit show Sons of Anarchy.[8][9] Perrineau starred as Stevie, the bass player, in the TBS comedy Wedding Band, which ran from 2012 to 2013. He began his career as a dancer for Fame in 1987. Phineas & Ferb is his DTVA debut and only appearance. Sabotage, Without Ward (Lord Voraz Esquire) and Growing Up Fisher (Fred) is his most recent credits. He has 72 acting credits, 34 Self credits and three production credits (Finding Hillywood, Case 219 and The Killing Jar) to his resume.

Additional voices are done by Masasa Moyo (I'm guessing that she was the female speaking Adumu dancer) according to IMDB: Masasa was born in Canada to a Zimbabwean Father and an American Irish/German Mother. Even though she aspired to become an actress since childhood, she only began acting in college doing local theatre productions. She continues to do so presently in Los Angeles to sharpen her skills when not filming. Masasa has been an adept mimic of accents and speech patterns since her days of torturing school teachers in Catholic school. This well-honed skill lead to her current successful Voiceover career. She always carries the diversity of her upbringing with her, bringing it into all her work making her an incredibly versatile and bold Character Actress. She began her career as an announcer in webRIOT in 1999. Mostly a video game voice talent: Luna in Tales of Symphonia, Leblanc in Final Fantasy X-2, Saints Row and Valkyria Chronicles as Rosina Seldan among many others. WITCH as Ironwood is her DTVA debut. Broken Age (Vella) is her most recent credit. She has 84 acting credits, one self credit and one other credit (Suicide King) to her resume. So we continue the "misadventures" of Candace finding a phone by raiding someone's closet because she is so insecure wanting to talk to Jeremy. She looks under a bucket on a table and there is a black spider. I'm almost yearning for her to bust the boys at this point; because this second gimmick is insufferable to watch. So she's in the tent as she looks into a hippo's mouth. No go as she whines about Africa hating her. Well; that because your kind has been hating them for hundreds of years. What is the proper term for "Man Up" in this situation? So we have something under a tarp and she flings it off to reveal a radio multi-purpose telephone. As the Backyardigans would say: That was sure convenient! More so after saying that Africa hates her. Candace calls it a big wind up telephone as she blows off dust and discover that she is using the royal majesty's radio telephone. Can you smell international incident? I knew you could.

So Candace reads the instructions which state on the radio phone that the best place to put it is in a high location with unobstructed views. So we head outside with Candace dragging the phone towards a big plain tree doing that evil snicker of doom. Then we get the best thing in the entire first part of this 44 minute special. So we head back to the garage as we see various inators in the room. Doofensmirtz goes over to Karl talking about having a inator to move inator; and Karl blows off his minion's mindless prattle. HAHA! Let me sum it up in seven sentences or less: Doofensmirtz bring in inator. Karl calls it weak. Doofensmirtz bails and returns with other inator. Karl calls it weak. Rinse, lather repeat. After a while Doofensmirtz inhales and Karl calls that weak. HAHA! Doofensmirtz protests this because he was only inhaling. Which was in fact weak. HAHA! Karl's response to it did make me laugh every time as we return to Phineas' living room where Perry is lying in the green basket looking at the picture. His wrist watch beeps and we see Monogram on the monitor as we see the radio he is using which controlled by the flimest straws Monogram finds. And they go limper than Monogram's sex life as he tells Perry that something terrible has happened and this is limper than a wet noodle which the straw goes limp before he sezs wet noodle. Yeah; that was...awkward. So we head back to the top of the tree as Candace is using the International Incident Radio Phone of Doom as a monkey has joined her out of nowhere. We get a charming exchange with the phone operator about the spelling of Danville and then we return to OWCA headquarters and then into the green vent as Perry crawls for a while. He kicks through the vent and runs to the security chamber and the door is of course only openable if Perry does a biometric scan of his hand which is good animation. Like a good paw print actually. So the security guard is disabled and the opens slide open. Agent P sees Monogram at the holding cells. Monogram is pleased to see him; but then Perry gets caught in the sandwich maker trap of doom. Nice one Karl; nice one. Karl even agrees with me as he comes in with a slow clap.

I love evil Karl; what more can I say? Monogram calls Karl a slow clapping fiend which is absolutely true. Karl explains that he needs Perry out of the way; and that's why he left the smoothe machine and straws in the holding cell. No one can accuse Karl of being whacky and covering his bases that is for sure. Monogram points out that he could have simply called him; but Karl blows it off because he's over his minutes. Wait; so he has no problem with illegal parking and destroying OWCA arcade machine; but when it comes to his bill, he is cheaper than Scrooge McDuck? That's really evil. So we cut over to the might OWCA super computer which has enough bright colors to make old fart have killer nosebleeds and vomitting. I should know; I had one of those nosebleeds yesterday actually. Karl wants to bring the Tri-State Area to it's knees. Even with other heels; Karl is thinking way too small here. He should up the ante and bring the original 13 states to it's knees; just to be a dick on Doofensmirtz. He wants to stop power station, de-sync lights and have a bunch of robot interms who are paid as Monogram calls this madness. Doofensmirtz blows him off because it might mean he'll get paid. Umm; Doofensmirtz? What part of "robotic interm" do you not understand? Anyhow; Doofensmirtz decides to kiss Karl's ass with a name for the operation and Karl blows him off. HA! Doofensmirtz sulks off as he calls him a big grouch; and Karl blows him off because he heard it. Doofensmirtz then counters that he meant it too; and then intentionally leans against the wall next to the conveniently placed red button; which he proceeds to press. Then the sandwich maker of doom opens and Agent P is free as Karl asks what has he done. Answer: Doofensmirtz has turned on you. You expect me to believe that this wasn't Doof's intention. Karl bails like a scalded dog towards a door with a green button on it; and then stops selling fear. So he pushes the green button and the door reveal a bunch of robots with red eyes. But they aren't any normal evil robot. They are evil Flynn-Fletcher robots. Now Karl has gone from cowardly heel to monster dick heel. I'm so loving this!

Doofensmirtz calls this weird and arkward because Doofensmirtz thinks that he went out on a date with Linda! And yes folks; this actually happened too! I guess serial continuity is fine as long as it's a comedy. Perry looks like he doesn't want to be reminded of that as we head to the Haijulkani Wadi with the African Chimera as we get nothing but singing fanfare and pushing and pulling levers from Phineas. Okay; I can relate to that actually. Everyone claps and Buford calls him better than Irving. Phineas claims that the fanfare is over and it's time to tickle the Uncharted Gorge. Isabella asks where it should start and here's the charming exchange from Phineas and Buford on getting down from there...

Phineas: Well, first we'll fly down like a graceful condor landing on that rock outcropping. Then, we'll jump over those vines and brachiate like a monkey with our ape like arms. Finally, landing on the slope with our cheetah-like grace. Of course, any other path down would mean instant death.
Buford: That sounds totally doable.

I love that Phineas sounds like an average Final Fantasy player in that instant death part; because I'm certain anyone else would say "certain death". Buford is just being Buford of course as we head back to the tree with Candace and the monkey on the radio phone of doom as Candace calls for Jeremy and Jeremy finally speaks. OMG! NOT! Yeah; there's your payoff to Candace/Jeremy. Now you would think that we would have Candace busting the boys from part two onwards; but that won't happen at all. So Karl orders the evil family robots to get that monotreme. So Perry dodges all as he manages to get to the SCPU with ease. My respect for Karl has dropped about two notches after that. So Agent P uses his paw print again on the computer; and starts pushing button as the computer has accepted the print and the mainframe is locked. Karl is groaning in agony on this and then he gets on Doofensmirtz's case and demands him to do something. So Doofensmirtz getsto all the inators and apparently has turned heel again. He starts switching on the inators as we cut back to Candace talking to Jeremy on the phone in the tree as there is a lot of static (not high enough apparently) and we hear the words "Break Up" from Jeremy. Yes folks; we have another "Candace thinks Jeremy hates her" angle which we have seen about three times already in this show and didn't believe any single one of them. Candace is defeated with a martial arts zoom in. So we head back to the gorge with the African Chimera as Baljeet and Buford control the legs. Baljeet takes over because this needs brain; but gets shoved by Buford who pushes the entire controls up and then breaks off the control because he is an idiot. So the Animal Chimera tumbles down as we return back to the lab as Doofensmirtz continues to turn on inators and Karl protests this because he doesn't want them on all at once. Doofensmirtz is confused as the last one is switched on and we get a shot of Perry surrounded by inators shooting at him. They shoot at him and he's vaporized as there is only a bit of smoke and ash on the floor. Karl is pissed off at this despite the fact that he was the one who wanted Perry out of the way in the first place. Monogram gasps in horror. Now that should have been the ending; but we end back at Chez Afrique as the Maitre'D informs the Flynn-Fletchers that there was no reservation and they both gasps. How? Personally; ending it at the restaurant is dumbassery in hindsight as you'll see in part two. We get the title of "...to be continued" which is using the classic DTVA version of it. Nice one. That ends part one at 21:12. All the Doof/Karl/Perry stuff was great for the most part; the African Chimera is neat, Linda/Lawerence is pointless and Candace is insufferable and repeating dumb angles for no reason albeit it was short. A pretty mix of whiplash if you ask me; but Karl's heeldom shines above all so I call it **** (80%).

And Now For Part 2!!

We begin this one at Chez Afrique with a far shot and then inside with Lawrence and Linda sitting on a black couch while Lawerence is talking about getting his hair unstuck; but never letting go of the lava lamp. Are you sure Lawerence didn't just dream that he was Donald Duck from Quack Pack? Lawerence proclaims that it took 30 years to get that reservation; and now they lost it. Then the Matire'D comes out and informs them that they have found the reservation; but it was made under Fletcher-Flynn instead of Flynn-Fletcher. How does one make such an obvious mistake? So yeah; they put the tease at the end of part two; and it's all resolved within 15 seconds, and then rendered pointless. Why didn't they just air this at the beginning of this episode? It's not like it was great suspense or anything. Lawerence and Linda hold arms together and walk stage left to their table. Then we head back to the OWCA "Secret" Headquarters as Karl (who is now being called Carl by Disney Captions for no reason) is blowing off Doofensmirtz for being an idiot because without Agent P's paw print; the computer is locked and he cannot take over the Tri-state area. Monogram likes the recap and Karl tells him to shut up. Karl demands to know which inator zapped him and Doofensmirtz proclaims that he's clueless about it. So Karl asks if he's clueless about the inators or in general which Doofensmirtz doesn't understand. So Karl proclaims that he will have to deduce which one and this charming exchange happens:

Carl: Bah! I'll have to untangle this mess myself. (Karl checks all the inators using various measuring tools and D-grade detective work.) The heat signature is wrong on the Disintegrat-inator. The angle is too obtuse for the Derezz-inator. The Julienn-inator isn't plugged in. And the Overhang-inator is just plain dumb.
Doofenshmirtz: Well, sure, until you wanna hang under something. Then what are you going to do, smart guy?
Carl: Continuing, the Smells-Like-Hay-inator, no. The Universe-inator just hit this trash can. Nothing left but this smudge. (sniffs) That means it can only be...
Doofenshmirtz: The Smudge-inator!
Carl: Did you make a Smudge-inator?
Doofenshmirtz: ...Ehhh... Continuing. (Carl grabs his nose)
Carl: The only -inator we haven't ruled out, that we actually have, is the Go-Home-inator. Meaning Perry the Platypus is home! (Carl releases Doofenshimrtz's nose, then Doofenshmirtz falls backwards into a storage closet.)

Ummm; yeah he's home which is pointless because that means he'll be back anyway. Not that it matters because Karl wants to pay Perry a visit at home; and orders the Flynn-Fletcher robots to come with him. Karl uses the wrist watch communicator (which I guess is independent of the OWCA SCPU; otherwise this makes no sense) and up from the steel floor comes an OWCA airplane like ship which looks like something out of a Star Wars movie; only flatter. Then we get a spot where Karl brings out a metal detector like device that they use in airports and uses it on the robots and we hear that annoying sound as each robot boards the ship. Apparently; the entire point of this is: Robot Lawerence is holding a pineapple and the metal detector doesn't beep; so Lawerence is forced to give the pineapple to Karl. If this doesn't play into the finish, then I will be so disappointed. So Karl throws the pineapple into the cell bars containing Monogram as Monogram proclaims that Karl cannot do this since he works for OWCA as Karl gets on the ladder and calls Monogram, Monograndpa. HAHA! Karl is no longer working for the OWCA and he goes into the ship. So the ship leaves in a choppy fashion (because if it goes smooth; it would take a full minute and then the kids will change the channel, amirite? You do realize that "junk science" is there for a reason?) as Doofensmirtz comes in and mocks Monogram's new insult name. HAHA! Monogram tries to point out that Doofensmirtz is being used like a penny in a bad jazz band; which Doofensmirtz scoffs at; because he's still part of the team. And Doofen is out of the holding cell; not in them. Monogram then asks why he left Doofensmirtz behind, and Doofensmirtz has the Gruffi pose on and cannot answer. Simple answer: The sidekick is always left behind because he's just a sidekick for comedy relief. That's why I call Kit Baloo's partner. So we head up the tree with more Candace sobbing about Jeremy "breaking up" with her. Mind you; Jeremy gives no reason for it, so he clearly is NOT breaking up with Candace; but "junk science" rules BABEE!

So then Candace admits that Jeremy "broke up" with her because she is a cellphone addict in roundabout terms. Then the top of the tree snaps off and we get the usual "Candace bumps like Fimberly" spot of crashing through the tree branches, and it's so absurd that somehow a Christmas tree gets involved for no reason. Sick MAN-SIZED bump ensues onto the ground as Candace pops up from the carnage and sobs about the tree breaking up with her; and wanting to break up with herself. She whines about not being able to be in society. Candace dear; you are merely a cellphone addict. It's not like you are on drugs or steroids or anything. Although; I wonder that since you take these sick bumps that would have killed a normal person in any sane universe. Ashley's acting is hilariously bad here as Candace proclaims that she is going native, kisses her fingers, sezs peace and then runs off crying. Again; what is the point of this? Anyhow; back to the Uncharted Gorge of Doom as all five kids are literally hanging over the edge in vines. Isabella, Buford and Baljeet are pleading for Phineas to do something. Ferb probably would if he could be allowed to speak; but Phineas is looking down and just stares with a frowny face. Buford and Baljeet get into an arguement about brains and brawn again as the vines are about to snap; and we discover that Phineas is looking down at the destroyed African Chimera and then stops selling because the plot has forced the vines of the babyfaces to begin to tear (Buford's tears last despite being the heaviest one natch); and does some pushing off the cliff with his vine as he grabs Isabella, Ferb and Baljeet on the rebound. Buford's vine finally tears and he begins to freefall. Baljeet grabs his vine and we get a really cute moment here...

Baljeet: Radius times the angle of rotation, taking into account wind velocity and humidity! (He throws a piece of vine, capturing Buford by his ankle.) Brains! (They all tumble off onto a ledge)

Okay; so brains won. Happy now Baljeet? Still no one cares about you. They land onto a conveniently placed ledge and Phineas then out of nowhere yells that Perry needs their help. Wait; what? How does he know Perry needs their help? Phineas climbs down and sildes onto a ledge as Buford blows him off because they left him at home. Yeah; and the Go Home-inator should be brought them back home see. So we head to the Flynn-Fletcher house as the evil family robots come in from the shadow and Robot Linda does a martial arts kicks to break open the door. So they all go inside and scan the place with their neon green flashlights as Karl walks in ordering them to find Agent P. We see Clyde in his rocking chair asleep. Where's Betty Jo? Robot Candace is scanning her own room and then scans the walls to see the photos of Jeremy on the wall. Robot Candace ID's him as Jeremy who is Candace's human boyfriend according to the robot. Then we cut to a purple answering machine on the desk and Jeremy has left a message on it saying that he wanted to get this message in; but there is nothing to be said because we quickly cut to Karl kicking the green basket containing the dummy that Perry used to trick Clyde and Betty Jo into thinking he was still at home. Karl is flustered and demands to know where Agent P went if he didn't go home. So we now go to ground level of the Uncharted Gorge as Baljeet asks how he could be in Africa; and Isabella thinks it's a different platypus. Buford of course is so uneducated that he refers to Africa as Afristralia. How could anyone make it through life with that kind of "education"? Phineas claims that he knows this makes no sense; but he thinks Perry is here and alone; needing our help even. Phineas proclaims that he is going to find him and walks off stage left. Ferb slowly follows and then the rest of the kids as Baljeet and Buford continue talking about brawn and brains because Buford is a brawn bully while Baljeet is a brain bully. Ponder that one for a while.

So we see Perry behind the bushes looking glum as his wristwatch works and it's Karl looking evil as usual. Ah! I get it. Go Home-inator means their natural place of birth which would be Africa in this case. Karl wants to talk with Perry and get aquinted; but Perry destroys his wristwatch and throws it to the ground. However; Karl is suspsious about the wild exotic plants and butterflies in the background as he decides to check his watch for information as the flower that was shown on screen has having red petals, golden pistils and being named Dendrobium Uncharticum and is presumed to be in uncharted regions in Africa. This confuses Karl because there wasn't supposed to be a Go Africa-inator made at all. Ummm; Karl is the smart one and doesn't realize context when it's hitting him in the nose? Karl doesn't care because he must be somewhere in Sudan or Chad; as he'll find him, use his hand to create the tiny palm print, take over the Tri-State Area and he's SOOOOOOO getting that extra credit. It ends with a sky shot of him and the robot going back outside and into the OWCA ship. So we head back to the holding cells of OWCA as Monogram is facepalming while Doofensmirtz is curled up in ball whining about being "fooled" by Karl. Monogram is trying to get a word in but Doofensmirtz cuts him off; complaining about being used like an old newspaper; and not even having the decency to wrap him up in stinky fish. That is pure evil! Monogram is pissed off; he swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (oh for pete sakes) and refers to him as Heniz; as he wants to stop Karl right now. Monogram wants to work together as Doofensmirtz doesn't like being tied down...and then he gives eye contact violence on Monogram and asks about that we thing. Monogram wants to work together to save Agent P; and Doofensmirtz no sells because he wants Agent P out of the way; because he wants to rule the Tri-State Area. HAHA! Monogram then points out the tiny flaw in that plan and Doofensmirtz just stands there as Monogram tells him to let it sink him, and Doofensmirtz does the stiffest scream I have ever witnessed in a DTVA cartoon. HAHA! Yeah; you showed him Doofen!

So Doofensmirtz comes over to the holding cells as Monogram wants him to let him out; and we discover that Doofensmirtz has the golden key to the holding cells in his coat pockets. Ooops! So Doofensmirtz complains because Karl took the OWCA jet; and Monogram asks if he really did take it. Flip-flip scene changer ensues and we see the floor flip flop as it reveal the second OWCA jet. Monogram and Doofensmirtz look on from a distance as Monogram explains that he got a second jet for himself because Karl was changing radio stations on him; thus justifying the tight budget that they are on. Geez; I wonder why Karl hasn't been paid yet? Monogram puts on these cool shades and then Doofensmirtz steals them asking why they go on one side of his face; asking if M.C. Esther created them. Monogram grabs him and scoots off because M.C. is a family friend of his and there is a Tri-State area to save. Despite the fact that most of this episode is taking place in Africa. Is there some message about wars spilling into regions not our own that I am somehow seeing here? So we head into the jungle and we invoke the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM as Candace slowly becomes a native. I'm not calling this. Look; Candace trying to be one with nature is cute; but the setup is so annoying and awful that getting the payoff to this is insulting to me and others less fortunate. This is mostly a knockoff of the Lion King where Simba decides to leave the flock and his troubles behind, which was epically awesome and stupid all at the same time. Yeah; she's living with monkeys. We do get some flashbacks from previous episodes of Candace in a car and Candace using a hairdryer; because she hates modern civilization; and she's a Luddite now; which is contrived and forced. I would rather have heartache and disappointment; than have no running water, electricty, internet, and no job. Ashley is singing this song and it's good; but that native cheetah skin and talking like a monkey is completely out of nowhere as it ends with them seeing the sunset; and one monkey claims in monkey talk that he has seen better.

So we head back to the beaten path with the kids as Phineas claims that platypuses always head west when they are lost. At least he thinks this is the case as Isabella tries to inform him that she has been thinking too; and it's time to go back somehow. Phineas no sells because Perry is out there and needs his help dammit! Again; how does Phineas know Perry is here? It makes no sense. Sure; Perry IS here, but HOW? The kids' reactions are priceless as Baljeet just states that they are in Africa; Isabella agrees and Buford claims that this sums it up nicely. Ferb asks if Phineas has been wrong before and Buford asks how long and wide to open this thing up and then Isabella instantly notices webfoot prints on the ground which somehow come out of nowhere. Phineas is happy and then goes to follow them as Buford claims that it could be a duck for all we know. So we head deeper into the jungle as Perry is running in the jungle and then stops as about a dozen animals on the closeup shot leer at Agent P; and then a far shot increases it to two dozen leering at Perry. Yes; Agent P non-lyrical music was used here, why do you ask? So we head to the skies with the first OWCA jet flying in and landing onto the top ledge of the Uncharted Gorge. Now if you got the Animal Agents DVD set; this is the footage you will see first before the main menu. So it lands on some ledge; the ladder comes out and everyone gets out. Karl crushes one of the red flowers with his foot for fun and instantly realizes that this is the right place. So he orders all the robot to fan out and find Agent P. Robot Linda breaks through a tree; Robot Lawerence snaps some vines in the jungle for fun.

Then we cut to OWCA jet number two in the sky as we head inside the jet with Monogram piloting the jet and Doofensmirtz taking out some parts from the panel underneath the floor. Oh; if you cannot guess that the parts Doofensmirtz is taking out are part of the jet's engine; you have no business reading this rant. So Doofensmirtz has to be creative since they are running low on parts. Engine starts to die off as Doofens asks about a lifeboat and Monogram gleefully retorts that one on Doofensmirtz. So then we cut to the kids walking some more as Phineas believes that they are getting closer and he feels it. They walk off for a while as we see Karl in the bushes with Robot Lawerence. Karl orders Robot Lawerence to give him a piece of candy corn and Robot Lawerence gives him one. Karl munches on it and that ends the segment almost 11 and a half minutes in. At least Candace being a Luddite is amusing in it's own perverse way; but the setup was awful. At least evil Karl is still awesome thus far...

After the commercial break; we cut to a sky shot of the jungle with Robot Candace scanning around the area with the neon green beams. We then go to the FPS shot of a radar which tracks down Agent P; and we see a lion chasing an animal away; and then out comes Luddite Candace in her SWANK skin suit acting like a monkey as she sniffs the robot and the robot states that she's Candace. Luddite Candace is Candar now as the robot sezs Candace loves Jeremy; which causes Candar to scream like a monkey and bail up the trees. Okay; that was perversely entertaining at least. So we head back in the jungle with the kids as we have stoop to playground level arguements on the brain/brawl dymanic from Baljeet and Buford. Phineas then begins to panic because despite not showing any footprints on the far shot; we do see some footprints on the close up; which stop about five feet in front of him. However; Isabella notices that there are grubs inside a tree log and she claims that platypuses love them as they are basically parastic worms. Phineas proclaims that Perry loves them as much as Ferb loves haggis which we then cut to Ferb eating haggis on a plate with a fork; and then shrug. Whatever turns you on Ferb. Isabella grabs one and is repulsed by it wondering how to get the grub eating patch; as Phineas then notices shredded fur; which we never actually saw. Phineas then simply walks up north against the edge of some abyss as Baljeet and Buford continue to follow and argue about brains and brawn. Yawn. So we then head to the plains as the OWCA jet #2 is completely out of control. Monogram is blowing off Doofensmirtz for ripping parts out of the plane because it means nothing if they don't live through the flight. We discover that Doofensmirtz is creating yet another laser device with the parts and asks how many evil geniuses can do this. Ummm; Ratchet from TaleSpin?

Monogram is on headset proclaiming that he'll be impressed if they don't plummet to earth on fire. Doofensmirtz calls him Francias and tells him to relax because he hasn't touched the main stabliziers. Monogram teases being relieved; but then is not so sure because Doofensmirtz said "not yet anyway". So we cut to a river gorge with the log bridge crossing the chasm as Phineas tests the log and Baljeet already wants another way across. Perry then suddenly shows up and Phineas finally sees him in animal form. Perry then runs into the cave; and the kids all get on the log and try to cross. Phineas claims that Perry looks scared as we cut to the bushes with Karl popping up saying that this is too easy; and so Robot Lawerence pops up and shoots his red laser at the log bridge; breaking it in two. The kids scream and freefall into the river; as Perry runs out of the cave; only to be cut off by Karl and a laser beam to the ground. Karl is so evil; what can he say? Well; you can start being evil by giving a better explaination to a huge gaping logic break other than "I had free time" because apparently; the Flynn-Fletchers weren't the only robots Karl made. He made Vanessa, Monogram, Doofensmirtz, Isabella, Buford, Baljeet, Irving, and Clyde. What? No Betty Jo? Sexist Ageist bigot! I don't get why Norm had to be recreated because he's already an evil robot. Actually; Norm in this scene makes sense because he was helping Doofensmirtz with the inators and moving to OWCA headquarters. So I'm guessing Norm is actually here and doesn't have a robot clone. Karl apologizes for his friends; but he needs a hand literally. So Perry whistles and out comes the African animals that were leering at Agent P earlier. Oh; like we don't know where this is going now? Yeap; they put on the fedora hats (which must be difficult for the four legged animals without any thumbs, let alone opposable thumbs) and we have new recruits natch. Karl proclaims that they'll have to do this the hard way; and does a fake trumpet sound; ordering the robots to charge and it is ON BABEE!

So we then cut to the river with the kids holding onto the logs; struggling. Phineas is more concerned with getting back to Perry somehow which is getting old. Ummm; Phineas? I would be more worried about suriving the waterfall spot because you do realize that it is clearly coming up next. Baljeet claims that they have a problem and Buford agrees with him; and concedes the fight of the brains/brawn dymanic as they tumbles into the waterfall which somehow turns into a spiral rock waterslide. Okay; that was different. So we get a far shot of all the robots and animal agents (along with Agent P) fighting each other and apparently; the robots are winning except for Baljeet who clearly sucks at break dancing. Of course Karl decides to channel Batwoman (The Katherine Victor version) by doing absolutely nothing but cackle. This goes on for a while as Robot Candace appears with a shooting flamethrower. So we head back in the trees with the monkey and Candace doing one of the monkey's hair looking miserable. She then turns around and doesn't look amused. So we cut back to the kids down the waterslide some more as Baljeet sums up the ride nicely. So Phineas notices a hanging tree in the middle of the waterslide; and yells at everyone to get in the middle to land on the tree. The tree does some reflex motion and slingshots the babyface into the air...and where they land; will we really care? Ummmmmmmm...yes. They land in quicksand which Baljeet is relieved that it broke their fall. I think this is the only time that someone has ever praised that spot in the show. Which means that it's a step above most quicksand spots. So we return to the fight with Agent P and Agent R charging at Karl; but Robot Vanessa does a roundhouse kick and manages to graze Agent R and knock down both agents onto the ground with a decent bump. YAY! Someone did in fact stop a rhino from fifty paces! AWESOME! Robot Vanessa is awesome. The Mexican Blow Horn spot was just goofy as OWCA jet #2 flies in and it's out of control as Monogram realizes that the stabliziers were replaced with the horn. HAHA! So the damn thing crashes into the rocks and gets destroyed...

...Not quite because the floor of the jet with Monogram, Doofensmirtz and the Good-inator are perfectly intact as it rests on the rocks. Doofensmirtz proclaims that they live and he states that Major Monogram will look back at this and laugh at it. Monogram counters that he'll remember this so well that he'll personally drive to his house and smack Doofensmirtz in the face. Considering that on-screen punches to the face are now legal in the new Disney; I hope Monogram does this at some point. Besides; Doofen has been smacked in the face by Agent P before; so it's nothing new. So we cut to a lemur (from Madagascar; but it's an island off the coast of Africa; so close enough) climbs onto a rock in perfect position for Robot Buford to come in. Lemur is scared as the robot is about to curb stomp him; but Candar swings like Tarzan and MURDERS Robot Buford right in the kisser; which means that Candar is a 500% workrate god now. So she saves the lemur and puts him up the tree; petting him. So we cut back to Doofensmirtz building the device as Monogram gets on his case about it being ready. Doofensmirtz claims that he needs some more good parts left; and then Major Monogram jumps down and rips off his OWCA uniform to reveal that he is wearing a pink unitard and black ballet slippers. This is just amazing coming from Major Monogram. I guess he really does love the Larson & Gary Magical Elixir. Doofensmirtz calls him to find a ball joint compressor; which Monogram claims that it's no problems because they are surrounded by parts; mostly evil robot parts! So Monogram kicks robot Buford, Lawerence and Linda's ass as he rips Lawerence's left leg off-screen and throws it to Doofensmirtz for fun. Then Robot Monogram comes in and calls Monogram handsome. Riiiiiggggghhhtttttt... So it's time to knuckle up and we get some more robots and agents fighting as a part of the jungle has a bonfire in place. Then we see Candar swinging like Tarzan at the sound of an elephant honking as she kicks Robot Isabella from behind like a heel. That came out very, very wrong.

So Candar is backed up by Robot Phineas and his double laser barrel weapon arms towards a rock as Robot Candace turns around and notices him. Robot Candace runs in for a while as Robot Phineas proclaims that he knows what he'll destroy today (This is the best day (OF DESTRUCTION) everah~!); as he shoots the red laser; and we get the slow motion dive by Robot Candace as she takes one in the chest and falls down in a heap. Robot Candace then shoots red lasers from her eyes and that hits Robot Phineas in the chest and he goes down in a heap. Robot Candace then states that Robot Phineas is so busted! Yes; even as being evil; Robot Candace has the exact same gimmick as the real thing. That is just great! So Candace stops selling the monkey talk out of nowhere and asks why she would care about her and Robot Candace only sezs no Jeremy robot for her; as Candace is confused. Robot Candace then replays the answering machine and it's Jeremy's voice as he has something to say to her but they broke up. He apologizes for missing her at the airport because he got caught up with his band and thus wrote a song just for her and wants to see her again when she returns from Kenya. The answering machine goes dead and Candace then realizes as we all did about 20 minutes ago that Jeremy doesn't hate her and thus they are still dating friends. Yeah. Robot Candace then tells her to call Jeremy and then dies as the chest opens and despite getting nailed there; the inside the robot is perfectly intact; as well as her cellphone. Wait; what? So Candace answers the phone and she apologizes about being in a tree and sorry for the misunderstanding. Wait; so the cell towers are back up? And how did they get service from this far into the gorge? NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE! Thank you for ruining a really good pathos segment guys. You should have just had her go monkey crazy and kick Karl's ass because that would be more believable since Karl was responsible for this robot carnage; albeit indirectly. But no; you had to break logic to return her to the gimmick that could have waited until the end. IDIOTS!

So we head to the quicksand pile as Phineas asks Isabella if there is anyway in the Fireside Girl's handbook about dealing with quicksand. Isabella proclaims that she'll bring it up at the next meeting. This is the least threatening quicksand ever because they haven't even started to sink. We then discover that Buford is on a ledge about fifteen feet above the quicksand as Baljeet yells at him to throw a rope after telling him not to come down. So Buford teases throwing the entire vine down; but Baljeet yells at him to throw down just one end; so Buford does that and then questions why Baljeet wants half of a rope; which causes Baljeet to question weither it's him or Buford. So Phineas yells at him to pull; and Buford groans off-screen as if he is trying to give birth to a baby. Phineas tells him to pull up the vine and they go up as Baljeet's pants come down. Oh come on! Buford then proclaims that Baljeet was going to get pantised after this was over anyway; and is disappointed that the quicksand beat him to the punch. Baljeet claims that it's Buford as they are dragged up. So we head back to the whacky fight between Monogram and Evil Robot Monogram. Are you sure Monogram isn't just fighting himself? I'm certain because Monogram is not wearing his uniform anymore. And now Monogram is wearing a fedora hat as well as he invokes the greco-roman knucklelock with Robot Monogram; yelling at Heniz to hurry it up. Doofensmirtz tells him that he needs some tape to tape up two contacts as Monogram is confused. So Doofen goes through what tape is; and then just rips the mustache off Robot Monogram's face. He puts the tape onto the contacts and he does as he wants to do the dramatic introduction and almost does; but Monogram blows him off and tells him to shoot it at evil Karl. Doofensmirtz then admits that the laser weapon cannot turn around as this was a slight oversight. HA! So Monogram yells at him to tell him where the beam is going to fire; and Doofen points out that it's on a ledge in front of a rock shaped like an X. Wow; that sure was convenient.

So Monogram shoves the robot Monogram away and jumps right behind Agent P as he tells Perry to lure Evil Karl straight into the X; and of course he screws up the fact that he is wearing a unitard under the Nehru jacket; since he calls it a leotard. Robot Linda walks in and I cannot tell if Linda gets nailed; or Monogram gets nailed because Monogram sells the hit as if he was punched in the face. Another robot gets creamed; I'm guessing it's Lawerence and he probably got his leg back too as Agent P runs in and taunts Karl after he tells the robots to finish them off. So Perry climbs up the mountain slowly while using his hand to taunt Karl; and Karl's karate moves are better than Drake Mallard's. How bad do you have to be as a superhero; when baby Karl's karate moves are better than his? So Karl climbs up slowly as he claims that Agent P is running out of room. I'm running out of steam watching this as they both climb up in front of the X-shaped rock. Karl opens his shirt to reveal a palm print scanner with a female robot voice saying that she is awaiting his paw print. So Perry attaches his tail to the X and dodges back as Karl grabs Perry's arm. We see from the periscope shot that he's almost in range as Monogram tells Agent P to pull harder as he MURDERS the Clyde robot for fun. So then Karl simply looks straight at them both and pulls back saying oops. HAHA! Good one Karl, good one. Evil Karl is awesome as Monogram is whining about it being out of range as Doofensmirtz proclaims that he is going to shoot away. Monogram asks what is the point as Doofensmirtz is going to allow Perry to take the shot which makes no sense to anyone as Monogram calls this game over...and then Perry does the GADGET TRICK OF DOOM and brings out the portait of Phineas & Ferb which confuses Karl. Doofensmirtz finally shoots the beam and it deflects off the picture and just barely grazes Karl; but it's enough to make him fall off the ledge and down to the ground off-screen. Doofensmirtz is so happy at his marksmenship; which Monogram blows off and walks off stage right. What an asshole? Doofensmirtz blows him off in kind. YAY! Monogram is a jerk!

Karl stands up in front of some of the destroyed robots dazed and wonders what the hell happened as apparently; he is good again, which means the entertainment must end. Personally; I would have just had Karl turn good by simply looking at the picture, and discover the beam was a placebo. Then Monogram's jerkiness towards Doofensmirtz would be justified, just in a different context. Monogram runs in and asks how he feels and Karl claims that he feels....good. And now he's nothing again. So Monogram is relieved as he hugs him and then seperates and orders Karl to clean up the mess that he made. Well; Monogram might be a jerk, but he is right about Karl's mess since Karl did start this war. Monogram then turns around and proclaims that recent events have shown him that Karl is a great help to him; which would have made more sense if there was a hint of Karl wanting to turn heel on his own and then Ultimate Evil-inator was just merely a spark. So Monogram claims that he didn't really know what he could have done without him and Karl is praying hard for that moment; and Monogram gives to him as he's now got the title of "Paid Inten"; which causes Karl to do the Homer Simpson victory cheer; and even Agent P smiles with the portait. So Monogram tells Karl that it's merely a title; but Karl doesn't care, he's so happy anyway. Monogram thanks Agent P and wants him to come home on the OWCA jet #1; but then hears Phineas' voice calling for him as Perry looks at the picture again and Monogram tells him that he can go to Phineas because he earned it. Perry hops down and runs off into the gorge as Karl and Monogram walk to the OWCA jet as they'll use the ship's magnet to pick up all the stuff anyway. So I'm guessing that Karl can skip cleaning up duty after all. Doofensmirtz runs over and pleas for a ride and Monogram accepts because home is where the prisons are; which doesn't impress Doofensmirtz. Monogram then asks if he wants a ride or not and Doofensmirtz climbs up asking if he's kidding, because if he's not, he's not. Too late anyway since Doofensmirtz climbed in anyway.

So then we see the kids climbing up and Phineas notices Perry chittering at the top of the gorge. They all climb up as Phineas is so happy that he embraces Perry like a teddy bear; and then Candace comes in and Phineas greets her claiming that she has fully embraced Africa. She certainly has...until they ruined the pathos scene with Robot Candace. Phineas wonders about getting out of the gorge and Candace claims that she has got this and does her really decent Tarzan yell; and out comes two elephants with one of them wearing a fedora hat in clear sight of the kids. Perry points at his head to said elephant and the elephant takes off the hat right in front of the kids. Why bother? The kids have zero idea why this is happening and seem more concerned about getting the hell out of here. So we do another flip-flop scene changer as everyone is on the elephants and Phineas calls her a natural which Candace agrees. So what was the point of the scene changer if you were just going to show them getting on the elephants? So we cut to the cockpit of the OWCA jet #1 as Monogram is piloting and Karl is in the navigation seat asking about how Agent P got zapped into Africa and Monogram actually answers the question saying that it was about family and home is where the heart is. How amazing is this show when they actually remember the lullaby Rebecca sang to Molly; but Disney is so desperate not to show the scene after it's first airing. Nice voice echo effects done here too. Imagine Karl as Kit; and Monogram as Baloo and you'll get my point. Karl calls this true (and I have no beef with this) as we hear a crash and Monogram blows off Doofensmirtz again for goofing around; which Doofensmirtz denies. Always a great heel when you deny. Heh heh. So we get a really awkward shot of the African Plains which are to the left of the research station in this shot and it's BEFORE HAPPY HOUR(sunset). We then cut back to the research station as everyone is camping in front of the bonfire; as Linda and Lawerence are half embracing each other enjoying the sunset. The kids are sitting in director chairs as Phineas asks about the restaurant and they claim that it was nothing to write home about.

So yeah folks; there was the entire payoff to the Linda/Lawerence thing which looks more pointless than ever. The robot versions of them were better and got more screen time actually. So we see everyone exchanging notes as Baljeet admits that Buford and him are both right on the brains/brawn thing after all. Which we discover is about living in the jungle as Baljeet was eating S'mores and Buford steals it like a bully and eats it. Isabella is so happy about these white sandwich S'mores that she thanks Iggy for them. Iggy then shows off some of them and we discover that they contain grubs; and Isabella thanks Africa for it; thus there's the payoff to Isabella getting the grub patch. Phineas asks about giving Perry some S'mores as Iggy looks at him; and claims that he hasn't studied platypuses before; and in roundabout science terms asks how Perry got here without sounding impossible. Ferb cuts a promo about George Shaw's first description of platypuses in that they are synonymous with the word impossible. And really; who can argue. Actually; Ferb screwed up the spot because George Shaw's description happened in 1799 not 1798. Phineas agrees with him of course and all except Candace agrees with it. I guess Ferb petting Perry was enough as Candace cannot believe that they accept such an answer. Candace; please stop. You got the worse part of this entire show and have not earned the right to complain. So just stop acting like a jerkass know it all. So everyone gets up and decides to end the day right there as they leave. Candace stands up and protests this outrage as we get the most purple of purple skies ever to signal that it's nighttime. Phineas yells at Candace to get some sleep as Buford claims that it'll all make sense in the morning. Candace continues to protest this; but no one cares (including me) as this ends the episode and the two part special at 45:00 approx (21:00 approx for part two). Actually; this part was better in large part to Luddite Candace; but the payoff to Candace was dragged down by her gimmick. The rest of this was great (minus the pointless Linda/Lawerence stuff of course) and Evil Karl was hot until he turned good and returned to being just another bit character. Too bad; we need a teenage evil intern as a foil for Perry when Doofensmirtz is on the mend. And thank you Dan and Jeff for actually remembering the original Plunder and Lightning pilot at the end there; even if Disney doesn't care about it. **** 1/4 (85%). And now for bonus fun...

Bonus Rant!! - Take Two With Phineas & Ferb!

Take Two with Phineas and Ferb is a spin-off series from Phineas and Ferb that premiered on Disney Channel on December 3, 2010.[1] The series revolves around Phineas and Ferb interviewing celebrities. The show's aforementioned premise bears similarities to that of Cartoon Network's late-night animated talk show Space Ghost Coast to Coast on Adult Swim. The show ran for one season with 20 episodes done (North American version), and was not picked up for a second. So; if you hate talk shows; then this show is not for you. Personally; I don't care for them; but it demonstrates Phineas' skills of daring someone to do something impossible and then uping the ante when the poor celebrity somehow succeeds while maintaining that normal smiling face of his; as if he knows that he can defeat the celebrity without even trying. So The Perry Files: Animal Agents contains six of these segments (no Tom Bergeron, or so I thought.); each lasting two and a half minutes including the opening. This shouldn't take long because most of the stuff is exchanging notes anyway and doing silly stuff. So I'll mention what they say and give my thoughts on it. One final note: Outside North America; a number of segments were done with localized celebrities. Like NX Zero from Brazil, Axel from Latin America and Poh Ling Yeow from Australia.

Opening Moment #1: The opening is only about 15 seconds long as Phineas & Ferb are setting up the talk show stage (with the beeping noise caused by a monitor showing whistling by Doofensmirtz) which is similar to the Rosie O'Donnell show in fact. It ends with the curtains closing and showing the logo for the segment which is the usual. Candace comes out and yells to the hard camera: "MOM! Phineas & Ferb are making a talk show!" Sadly; this is not nearly as funny as the original Phineas & Ferb opening. Now; I know that a lot of people complain about Flash; but on the original cartoon, it is done in Toon Boom which is much more professional than this. The animation is not nearly as good here and the setups look generic for the most part. It looks like a high school Flash project.

Segment #10: Cedric The Entertainer (Cedric Kyles (137 Self credits 51 acting credits, nine writing credits, 13 producer credits, one direction credit) - Acting debut: Ride as Bo in 1998, known as Bobby Proud in The Proud Family (DTVA debut), most recent credit: The Penguins of Madagascar in 2015): Isabella the director on headset introduces Cedric Kyles as we see him sitting down in the love seat next to the desk with a sign pointing at him; with bells dinging. Oooookkkkaaaayyyy. Then Cedric does greeting spots (finger touch, fist bump etc.) in about seven different ways with Ferb. Phineas and Cedric say that is Ferb and he's cool. Yes folks; there is canned heat for this talk show, why do you ask? Phineas claims that they were talking about his cool fedora hat as Cedric claims that he collected over 300 hats; which Phineas counters that he has almost one for every day of the year and thus has 65 days with a cold head. If he had said 300 hats; that joke would have worked better. Cedric laughs anyway as Phineas asks if he remembers the first joke he ever did as I notice that there is a panel with a blue, yellow and red button. So it's the democrat, independent and republican button! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Geez; I wonder why no one takes the idies seriously? Cedric recalls one of his early jokes which was to do Luther Vandross doing the alphabet. I think we all know where this is going now; don't we? Phineas wants to hear it and Cedric starting singing the alphabet like Luther Vandross which sounds really cool. Cedric gets the circular spotlight on his face thanks to Phineas pushing the democrat button while we get jazz music thanks to Isabella playing saxophone in the background. Ferb plays piano (out of nowhere of course) while Phineas plays chello (out of nowhere as well) for fun. Isbaella calls this dreamy and I agree since Cedric put some zip into the letter Z there. So Phineas proclaims that Buford does stand up comedy while the canned heat pops for this. So we see a monitor (out of nowhere) with the Take Two logo against cold, hard steel; and that seems fitting for this.

So Phineas pushes the blue button again and the monitor shows Buford standing in Phineas' backyard. Buford calls Cedric "Mr. The Entertainer"; which did make me giggle. Buford asks about how to deal with hecklers because his normal function is to storm into the crowd and give them a wedgie. I'm guessing that the heckler is Baljeet as the crowd laughs at it while Ferb explains Buford in a nutshell. Cedric proclaims that he has one word to counter hecklers like that and the word is "security". HA! My mind is blown. No, not really. Buford thanks them and if that fails; he'll give them wedgies which even I and Cedric cannot resist laughing at. Heel Buford is awesome. So we continue on as Phineas would love to see Cedric's dance moves and Cedric gleefully agrees to it on the condition that Phineas & Ferb join him. And we hit the DANCE OFF OF DOOM~! Complete with disco background and rainbow star Lite Brite effects. Ferb of course outdances everyone because he's doing handstands like mad. He also does the spin on the head trick only seen in the Plunder and Lightning part one comic book and Phineas thanks everyone for watching as they wave goodbye. Eh; just there. ** 1/2.

Segment #11: David Beckham (The Most Notable Soccer Player In History (two acting credits, 110 Self credits) - Suppose to debut in The Man From UNCLE movie and The Secret Service movie in 2014/2015.): Isbaella does the same introduction only with David Beckham. Same kind of sign, same kind of bell ringing. So Phineas goes over David's resume the matchbox edition and then breaks the ice asking him what is his favorite cupcake flavor. HAHA! I love it when Phineas starts with the kind of question that is more hardball than most softball question said on talk shows. David claims that it's red velvet as Phineas asks if he has done anything weird like eating bugs which David claims that he hasn't. So here we come to Phineas' favorite spot in this show: The dare. Phineas promises to give David $10 to eat a bug. David actually agrees to this and Phineas brings out an animated flash plate of bugs and flies which fly around. I was hoping it was a real plate of bugs; even if they tasted like gummy bear candy. So David slowly takes one ladybug and Ferb gives him the thumbs up with ding sound. David eats the animated bug (that had to be hell to pull of in post-production let me tell ya) with ease and Phineas calls this the best $10 spent on allowance ever. HAHA! Only Phineas could pull this one off without sounding like a lie. British music ensues with British flags from Ferb as Phineas talks about his soccer career and at least he knows the handball rule. Phineas then asks if there are anything else he does with his feet and David is drawing a blank from his head; while eating a banana with his feet. Ah; I see he got inspiration from Louie from TaleSpin. Phineas wants to try that one at home as we continue on with the second half as Phineas asks about doing soccer tricks and David is happy to do that. So we do soccer tricks with David, Phineas and Ferb. Ferb of course outclasses everyone with his soccer skills which impresses David so they head the ball about three dozen times (seriously!) as one of them goes stray towards the out of nowhere net as Buford grabs the ball for the save.

Buford spins the ball as we get a western theme going and proclaims that he has never been scored on and dares David Beckham on him as the crowd gasps. I love heel Buford over self humilating Buford anyday of the week, twice on Sundays. David accepts the dare as he puts the ball down on the floor and Phineas & Ferb exit stage right. Phineas claims that this will be good as David kicks the ball so hard that it catches Buford in the chest; goes through the net, brick wall and makes one complete rotation over the stock still footage of planet Earth before crashing into the eastern wall; and somehow Buford lands on his feet with a tea tray, kettle and cups. So we have tea with Buford and David as David asks for crumpets; and Buford claims that he ate it. I guess in Buford-speak; he won the dare since he still caught the net despite going into the net in the process. Crowd pops and that's all. The bug eating was fake; but there was some cute moments in this one. *** 1/4.

Segment #13: Miss Piggy (Muppets Tonight Star (two acting credits, 42 Self Credits) - Mostly known for being in many of productions for Jim Henson Productions. Also known for her karate moves and temper. HIYA indeed! Did acting for two X 4 as THE SIN - snake in 2011): Oh goody! If Buford, Doofensmirtz and/or Candace don't get HIYA'ed in this; then I'll be very disappointed. Same thing as before as Miss Piggy does her "I'm trying to be humble" routine to the crowd before Phineas asks her about growing up on a farm. Piggy admits that it was so humbling that she got out of there as fast as she could. HAHA! Phineas asks if she speaks pig Latin which he pronounces as ig-pay atin-lay. Piggy is confused about this so Ferb explains that it's Pig Latin in Pig Latin. Piggy claims that she cannot speak it; but can read it. Which is kind of saying that she can say it; but cannot spell it only in reverse. Phineas calls her a diva and asks why this is the case and Piggy claims that it's in her genes; namely the designer label "gene". That made me laugh. Then Phineas points out her excellent karate skills and wants a demonstration. YES! YES! YES! YES! Oh; it has to be Buford getting it. Piggy stammers not wanting to do this because she's not dressed for this, and then agrees to it. HAHA! She calls for wardrobe and bails; returning in karate gear. So Phineas offers her some boards; which Piggy calls "boar-ing". HAHA! I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments as Piggy wants to HIYA the desk; but Phineas invokes the HAND OF GOD to stop that. So Piggy suggests a block of ice because apparently; BS&P hates her doing it to a cartoon character despite the bump machine Candace is already. Phinea proclaims that he has the out of nowhere big block of ice which is clearly CGI'ed. So Piggy goes over and we HIYA the iceblock to death. The ice shaving go flying covering Phineas & Ferb with ice shaving disguises; as Piggy does a self-portait pose of herself. CLOSE ENOUGH~!

Piggy thanks the crowd and walks back to the chair as Phineas talks about her singing and wants her to do some singing. Piggy stammers for the exact same reason as before and then agrees to it calling for wardrobe. So we raise the curtain as we see Ferb in a tuxedo playing the piano while Miss Piggy is lying in a sexually suggestive position (as much as BS&P would allow) in a red dress with furry streamers on the wrists and high heels on top of the piano. Phineas is in a tuxedo as there is wavey rainbow colors complete with black bubbles. Then I discover that it's basically the song Spa Day from Spa Day only Miss Piggy is rapping and somehow P&F are in rap gear. Oh; this is even better than the original song. Only Miss Piggy could make this possible. Sadly it ends too soon as the crowd pops for that and that is that. The best one of the lot; mostly because of Miss Piggy rapping. What more could you want? Other than Buford getting HIYA'ed of course. **** 1/4.

Segment #16: Shaun White (Professional Snowcross Snowboarder and Olympic Winter Games Champion in 2006 (two acting credits, one production credit, 74 Self credits) - Already appeared on Fish Hooks (DTVA debut) and was Clueless Smurfs in the Smurfs 2 movie in 2013): Shuan hi-five's Ferb to start as Phineas mentions his world championship snowboarding rep; and then asks if anyone else snowboards in his family. Shaun claims that his entire family does it even his father as he claims that like in flying, the takeoffs are easy, the landings are hard. Phineas claims that this sounds like Candace and then they show footage from Phineas & Ferb. I don't know which episode it is; but it involves Candace falling off a snowy mountain without wearing any winter gear off her head down the hill like Homer Simpson from Daredevil Bart. Shaun groans in sympathy pain as Phineas claims that she needs a "little" practice. HAHA! Phineas asks how it feels to catch air and I swear that if this was the modern era; Kit Cloudkicker would cut this promo almost word for word. Phineas then asks if Shaun's mother drycleans his olympic gold medal. That made me laugh and Shaun admits that this is exactly what happened. Phineas claims that Linda washed their science medal; but left them in too long as the medal are now the size of Phinea's hand. HA! Those medals must have been tiny to begin with since medals don't shrink in the dryer. So we talk about naming cool tricks as Shaun claims that ones that existed he alters the name; of names new ones himself. So Phineas claims that Ferb is a great snowboarder and then pushes a button to show footage from the same episode where Candace was bumping off the mountain as Ferb is showing off again. Okay; let me explain the names of each of the moves Ferb does according to Shaun White and my ratings for them...

[1.] Front-Side Ferbosaurus Rex *** 3/4.
[2.] The Ferbot ***.
[3.] The Double McFerb With A Side Of Fries *** 1/2. (And yes; Ferb does the trick on his loveseat in the studio out of nowhere.)

So Phineas mentions that he is a professional skateboarder (Hello; why didn't they use HIM in Kick Buttowski for Razz?) as he wants him to do tricks. Shaun gleefully accepts and we go outside in the middle of a crappy drawn park circle with a poorly drawn skateboard. Something tells me the animation for this was done on the fly; which is not a good idea for this type of show. Shuan does some balance spots with the skateboard and Phineas asks if he can balance on anything. Shaun claims he can. UH OH! Time to play Phineas I Dare which means Shaun is seriously screwed here. Dare #1: Balance on circus seal. Dare #2: A pool cue. HAHA! Yes; Phineas & Ferb are using remote controls to bring out live action international objects for Shaun to balance on; why do you ask? Shaun relaxes on the skateboard and doesn't care. HA! Dare #3: Beach Ball + Cricket Ball + Bobby's Helmet+ Bobby (Police officer) + Horse (which would have been funnier if the officer was a Mountie). Dare #4: The torch on the Statue Of Liberty. Shaun balance is perfect as Phineas & Ferb wave goodbye and simply walk away stage right leaving Shaun hanging. See; the boys won the dare after all; since they abandoned him for being so cocky. *** 3/4.

Segment #18: Jason Segel (Musician Songwriter, Actor (33 acting credits, 4 writing credits, 3 producer credits, one director credit, 53 Self credits, nine soundtrack credits) - Acting Debut: Can't Hardly Wait/SLC Punk/Dead Man On Campus in 1998. How I Met Your Mother is his most recent acting credit in 2014. Also wrote the 2011 Muppet Movie.): Fist bump to Ferb to start as Phineas calls him a quadruple threat (musician, actor, writer and director) as Jason corrects him because he's a male model. Phineas calls him a quadruple threat plus one which Ferb gleefully calls a quintruple threat. Phineas claims that he and Ferb love music and want to improv a song with him. Jason agrees to it as Ferb brings out the trambornie for fun; Phineas brings out the guitar, and then pushes the democrat button to make the keyboard piano rise up from the floor. Jason is stunned to see this and we hit the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM! In a talk show. The song is mangled so badly that it should make that beagle (I'm guessing that they are mocking Snoopy from Peanuts) go paralegal for violating anime conduct rule #12: Thou Shalt Not Rhyme. Jason calls this regal on the keyboard piano as Ferb is dressed like a gypsy. I don't know why; but that is funny! Anyhow; Phineas uses his foot to push the democrat button again and that causes the keyboard to drop into the floor. So Phineas talks about him being 6' 4" and being a reacher; which Jason loves grabbing from the top shelf. That went nowhere because they talk about his basketball skills and winning two state championships...40 pounds ago. Wow; that was a witty fat joke. So Phineas offers Jason to dunk a basketball outside which is setup in the exact same park Shaun White was in two segments ago. So we see Jason on the basketball court in the park dunking a basketball with ease. Phineas is impressed as Jason off-hand claims that he can dunk anything.

Bad move there Jason because it's time to play Phineas I Dare. Dare #1: Dunk a frozen turkey. He dunks it and it splits into two on the ground. Dare #2: A toaster. Dare #3: A unicycle which somehow goes through the hoop. Dare #4: A ceramic toilet (which is as illogical as Fanboy dunking a stinky toilet over his head in Pick A Nose) which somehow get dunked and it shatters on the ground on-screen. Dare #5: A bag of potatoes. Dare #6....I cannot believe I'm typing this....a submarine. No joke; that is what Phineas said. Somehow Jason dunks that with ease. Dare #7: A snowglobe. Dare #8: Spaghetti. Now Phineas is being silly. Dare #9: An ant complete with it screaming when it goes into the net. Jason is tired (and after dunking the GREEN SUBMARINE OF PARALEGAL; who wouldn't be?) as Phineas claims that Ferb can dunk as Jason claims that he's too short. So he jumps up; rolls into a ball and dunks himself. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IN YOUR FACE JASON SEGEL~! That ends the segment. The second of this was overkill; but Ferb's dunk was great. *** 1/2.

Segment #19: Ben Stiller (Comedian, Actor, Producer (117 acting credits, 30 producer credits, ten writing credits, 14 directing credits, 200 Self credits) - The Hustler of Money is his debut in 1987, cameo in Kate & Allie as Peter was his acting debut. Known as Derek Zoolander in Zoolander (and the announced sequel) and Thomas Jefferson in Liberty's Kids. DTVA debut: Phineas & Ferb as Khaka Peu Peu is his only appearance in 2010.): Phineas and Ben fist bump to start; and he gets confused about Ferb; but Ferb forgives him doing the "You are the man" pose. So Phineas talks about siblings and Ben mentions that her sister's name is Amy. Ben calls her beautiful and Phineas claims that he has pictures of her; so he hammers a button and on the monitor we see Ben Stiller dressed like a female Elvis. That was cute. Ferb does some whistling on that as Ben calls her a looker. He...ERR..she sure is Ben. So Phineas asks what is the funniest word ever which Ben claims it's papoose. To me the funniest word is "Leapbogusboysmooneycount!"; because it doesn't require a high-pitched voice to pull it off. Phineas asks what the least funniest word is and Ben claims it's homework. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Phineas asks about his dodgeball skills and asks about showing his throwing skills; one of them Ben calls the Stiller Ricochet Thriller as he demonstrates it. He throws the ball as we see Buford with a cream pie; and the ball smacks the cream pie in his face. The ball bounces around and manages to get into Doofensmirtz's lab somehow (earning a blowoff from Doofensmirtz no less) and then bounces off Phineas and Ferb's head which is surprising considering the rate of concussions and damage they do in real life. Phineas is impressed as he asks about other playtime stuff and Ben claims that he does something called planking which he demonstrates by lying on his belly flat on top of the loveseat and stay motionless. Sadly; he doesn't lie on his back; that would have been funnier. Phineas is staring at the hard camera wondering: "What the hell is this?"; which was funnier than the planking actually.

Ben calls this "relaxing" in the same sense as grunting as we see Tom Bergeron planking with walking penguins. There's your $50 for this DVD right there folks. Okay; it cost less than that. I forgot how much I paid for it when I went shopping. Phineas wants to do the planking and Ben is happy to show them as we cut to the skies and here is an extra $10 for the DVD set right here. Phineas, Ferb and Ben are planking on the left wing of a green cropduster airplane. That's not the great part of this. It's the person piloting the plane. It's Baljeet! Baljeet is flying the damn plane! And Kit Cloudkicker is in a state of happiness not last seen since winning the trophy in A Bad Reflection On You part two. Ferb is now the one looking at the hard camera wondering "What the hell is this?" since Phineas is in glee. Then we see the flash crowd in a football stadium cheering as Ben is in the crowd (which looks awkward) talking smack as we see at the field goal posts; Phineas & Ferb planking on one of the poles. I laughed when Phineas told the kids not to plank on the field goal posts; but forgot to tell them not to do the same thing on the wing of a flying airplane at 30,000 feet...with Baljeet flying it! Field goal is good by the way as we cut to Phineas and Ferb surfing on the waves with Perry. Ben is the surfboard here as Phineas tells them not to do this either. I wish he told Bea the same thing in See Bea Ski. Ben thinks he's seen a shark and then we get vertical planking in the same park we saw Shaun White and Jason Segel in as he is upside down on his head planking with two dodgeballs. He tells everyone that vertical planking is fun; but for professionals only. They come back to the studio; which is kind of pointless because Ben is merely shaking off the rust, Phineas is loosey-goosey with the wavey arms and we cut a plank joke to end this time. Nothing gets my attention than Baljeet flying a plane. At least Baljeet doesn't have to worry about Candace complaining that he's watching TaleSpin again. That officially ends the Perry Files: Animal Agents DVD. *** 3/4.

THE REVIEW LINE

So we finally end the Animal Agents portion of Phineas & Ferb with a very good 44 minute special that was more overwritten than it needed to be; but was fun all the same. I love Evil Karl because he wants extra credit and be the ruler of the Tri-State area; making Doofensmirtz look like a total doofus. What more could you ask for? Personally; turning Karl into a new heel altogether instead of switching back would have been better; but then again, there was no indication that Karl was ever teasing a heel turn in spite of his mistreatment which was quite mild. The rest of this was pretty good; but it wasn't without it's problems. Luddite Candace was great to see; most so at the end when Robot Candace got shot by Robot Phineas. That was a great pathos scene that got marred by Candace getting the cellphone and called Jeremy despite the fact that there was no evidence that the cell towers were repaired and ready to go. I'm tired of the "Jeremy hates me when he doesn't" angles because they make Candace look weak willed. As much as I think Candace is an idiot; at least busting the boys as her main gimmick has a charming perverse sense of amusement to me and thus I can take it. Jeremy breaking up when he doesn't is just lame and insufferable. At least the writers gave us Luddite Candace out of it; so it was a step above the usual stupidity. Linda/Lawerence just stopped at the end/beginning of part one/two and the payoff was so pointless that giving the end as suspense was a joke. Doofensmirtz was great as usual and the animation was pretty good for the most part; outside of the usual sloppiness of the episode. Ferb needs to hit the dartboard better on his dates of historic figures; he missed the bullseye by one year. The evil robots were murderous and good; although we never found out if the red eyed Norm was Norm reprogrammed; or a new Norm. Isabella got her Grub patch, we had a saddest quicksand spot in history and we got to see animals and robots try to kill the hell out of each other. Overall; this was a great two parter. Sure; it's no A Bad Reflection On You; but I enjoyed it and that's all what matter. Most of the Take 2 segments were amusing; but Miss Piggy is required viewing; even if you don't like talk shows; just for the Spa Day rap she does. One more thing I want to add: Dan and Jeff remembering the "Home Is Where The Heart Is" Poem was great and all; but I would have loved it as a payoff even more if Karl wasn't hit by the beam and just turned babyface by seeing the photo of Phineas & Ferb. Or was hit by the beam and it didn't work which would have made Monogram's blowoff of Doofensmirtz more justifiable.

So that ends Phineas & Ferb: The Perry Files: Animal Agents. So we had 3 thumbs up, 2 thumbs down and six thumbs in the middle (not counting the Take Two segments) for a grand total after 44 episodes of fourteen thumbs up, 24 thumbs in the middle and six thumbs down; which is a really good ratio for a new Disney show. I had Kick Buttowski at ten thumbs down after ten episodes before it turned it around with Obsession for Kick; so there's your comparison. I mean; it's still really sloppy and Where's Perry had a lot of padding with songs to up the running time; so it felt like a 30 minute episode extended to 45 minutes to make up for it. Otherwise; outside of TaleSpin (which is a different beast altogether), this is the funnest DTVA show that I have ever watched in a long time; and if it was refined better, it would be rivaling TaleSpin in terms of thumbs up episodes even if they have more clunkers than TaleSpin does. I don't understand what Steet's problem is with this show. He sees only the flaws; but doesn't bother to see if the show has anything else. Granted; this show has some obvious continuity problems; but at least it's fun to watch and despite not being totally serial; it feels like I can watch this as a self-contained episode and as a serial and make a certain amount of sense. Kind of like with TaleSpin; only TaleSpin's continuity was tighter than this. So next weekend is the start of the Season 4 episodes from Mission Marvel. We have two 22 minute episodes which I'll be doing first; then four 11 minute shorts which should be done by next weekend after this; and then it's the second big one as Phineas & Ferb will meet the superheroes from Marvel Comics! You know; the comics Disney bought so they could follow a trend of boys because they have no talent to grow original shows (or even remakes of their original DTVA shows) for boys on their own because they had more tunnel vision than Cartoon Network. YAY! Sociopathic Spiderman! Hulk Agent Of Smash! Iron Man CGI! Thor! The Red Skull voiced by Lezard Valeth, MADOCK and Venom rejoin in my first Marvel Comics rant ever! Tons of fun! So....

Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.

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