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Phineas & Ferb: What'D I Miss?/Bowl-R-Ama Drama
Reviewed: 03/02/2014
Drama In A Bowling Alley? What'D You See?
So we finally march down to the final two shorts before the "Where's Perry?" main story in Animal Agents. This time we have a season three and a season one episode left on the animation paper (#33, 1-21b, #172, 3-34b) as Phineas & Ferb try for the record for the largest bowling ball and largest pinball machine table; while Doofensmirtz is dabbing with hot chocolate that is addictive. Well; a lot more than usual actually. Ferb returns and we flashback to the previous big idea Phineas did while he was away which is training squirrels to be wild again; while Doofensmirtz explains Perry his last scheme. Let's rant on shall we...?!
What'D I Miss is written and storyboarded by Aliki Theofilopoulos-Grafft and John Mathot. Bowl-R-Ama Drama is written and storyboarded by Chris Headrick and Alex Almaguer. Story editing for both episode are done by Scott Peterson and Martin Olson. Animation is done by Wang Films.
Bowl-R-Ama Drama: We begin this one with a far shot of the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM and hearing Candace swear in DUBBED ANIME STYLE four times in a row; which has got to be a new record in the new Disney. So we head to Candace's bedroom as Candace is sitting on her bed on the cellphone talking to Stacey about Jeremy while admiring her right hand. Apparently; Jeremy wants to see Candace at the fair right next to the Ferris Wheel; then realizes that she is afraid of heights somehow out of nowhere. She wonders what to do and her acting looks sarcastic that I cannot take this seriously as Linda yells at Candace that she is leaving right now; and Candace blows her off because she is having a teenage crisis. Which is usually admitting that the writers don't know how to write a teenage girl properly. So we cut to Lawerence and Linda wearing geek shirts (green/yellow for Linda, red/pink for Lawerence - Always a plus when the male is wearing pink colors) and such in the living room as they inform her that they are going bowling today. So we zoom out to see Phineas & Ferb are in the living room as well; and Phineas asks if Lawerence would allow them to bring out the old lawn bowling set; which Lawerence agrees without question. Linda also informs Candace to keep an eye on the boys; perferrably two eyes. You don't say Linda?! Anyhow; we head to the backyard in front of the gate as Phineas & Ferb are watching a bunch of modly bowling pins and somewhat clean bowling ball as Phineas states that with a few modifications that they can zip up this lawn bowling set real good. Then we cut to a closeup of the gate and out pops Baljeet stealing Isabella's gimmick and he screws it up. He even admits that he committed gimmick infringement on Isabella. Damn; that makes the whole lack of payoff to the Isabella/Baljeet thing even more sad in hindsight. So Baljeet comes in with a red book called The World's Most Pointless Records which is funny actually. Phineas states that they are going to do the biggest bowling game ever as Baljeet introduces the book over his head complete with trumpet sound; which stuns Phineas for some reason.
So Baljeet flips through the pages and he informs us that the world's largest bowling ball is four feet in diameter; which Phineas proclaims that he has do that in his sleep as Baljeet is proclaiming that at 3:00 pm today; officials from the World's Most Pointless Records (TA-DAH!) are going to award medals for world records; so Phineas tells Ferb to get the tools because they have a world record to shatter. Baljeet proclaims that they would be in the next volume (TA-DAH!) and the trumpet plays for the third time. We zoom out to see that Buford is playing the trumpet fanfare. HAHA! See; that's funny and it makes perfect sense. Baljeet asks if there is a point to this and Buford claims that he is doing it just to annoy Baljeet; which is what a bully should be doing as a heel. So Baljeet asks where Perry is and Buford does the trumpet fanfare again just to be a dick. So we see Perry whizzing through the pipe; and then he flops like a fish out of water in the sewer. You see; Karl is repairing pipes in the sewer with a wrench and there is a complete tube of pipe missing. Ummm; yeah, that is so not awkward at all. So Karl apologizes and picks up Agent P. He throws him into the pipe and Agent P exits stage left; just as Henry The Hedgehog arrives to sit on the sewer floor on his ass. So we jump cut to OWCA headquarters as Perry is sitting in front of the computer. Yeah; I know. It sounds like a broken record as Major Monogram is on the monitor greeting him. Monogram tells us that Doctor Doofensmirtz has fled to an abandoned warehouse and has bought 10,000 packets of hot chocolate, a hotdog vendor's cart, a medium sized parka and red flannel longjohns with a flap on the back. Ooooookkkkkaaaayyyyy. So Monogram simply tells him to go kick Doofensmirtz's ass; even though there is nothing to indicate that he is doing anyway illegal yet. Perry uses the grappling hook gun to rise to the ceiling as it is cracked. So we hit the montage of Phineas & Ferb wearing yellow hard hats and building a huge bowling ball that is more than four feet in diameter. It ends with both of them sleeping in the backyard against the giant bowling ball as Ferb has the blow torch in his hands. Ooookkkkkkaaayy.
Baljeet comes in as he calls it one giant sized bowling ball and the two boys wake up. Phineas proclaims that he told them that he could do it in their sleep. So we cut back to Candace who has the same exact pose as in the beginning of the episode; and doing the exact same thing as in the beginning of the episode. She's talking to Stacey on the phone about Jeremy and finally sits cross-legged on the bed as she talks about what to wear as she basically wants to wear the exact same outfit as she is wearing right now. Yeah; she is so shallow that she has no idea what she is talking about. So we hear a bowling ball crashing into pins sound; and some rumbling as Candace hangs up. We head outside with Buford, Baljeet, Isabella, Phineas & Ferb wearing dorky bowling shirts and pants (in Isabella's case; a dorky purple skirt) while playing big ass bowling with big ass pins and balls. Did I mention that Phineas is inside the bowling ball the entire time and thus had full control of the ball inside said ball? Phineas has four strikes in a row and mocks Buford with Homer's "IN YOUR FACE!" promo. Baljeet of course screws it up when he tries to mock Buford; so Buford gives him eye contact violence to put Baljeet in his place, so to speak. Baljeet stammers and praises him as Phineas asks who is next; which Candace walks in demanding answers to this outrage. Phineas is grateful for her because it's her turn to play. Candace threatens with the cellphone; but then holds back because she realizes that everything disappears the moment Linda is called in. So Candace has his Krackpotkin plan in mind: Bring the bowling ball to the Bowl-R-Ama and she'll get the credit card to ruin Lawerence financially and Jeremy will think this is so cool to bust the boys. Never mind that Jeremy doesn't seem to mind Phineas & Ferb doing such stuff as early as Jerk De Solei! So Phineas asks if she wants to give it a try and Candace sezs I do Jeremy because in the child corrupting imagine balloon of doom; Jeremy asked if she would like to merry her. Candace stammers before accepting and thus both Phineas & Candace enter inside the cockpit of the big ass bowling ball.
So we head into the cockpit as Phineas explains how the bowling ball works; including pointing out that the thing works on gyroscope; so there's where 3DS and WiiU's idea came from. I wondered why Mr. Hardcore didn't like either system and now I know. So there is a track ball to roll the bowling ball; but never push the red button because the gyroscope will disable and she'll spin like a greased pig. Candace basically ignores him but acts as if she knows what she is doing. So Phineas gets out of the bowling ball as Candace is giddy beyond belief. She goes on it and Phineas tells her to take it slow. So Candace goes loco on the track ball and we see the bowling ball get an easy strike and then destroy Ferb's electronic scoring system in the process. Luckly; Ferb moved out of the way before this and then the bowling ball destroys a wooden fence and rolls into the street. The kids say that she is freestyling and to go after it to see what it does. So we HIT THE MONTAGE of them ringing doorbells, opening garage doors and bringing out colored helmets and wheeled equipment. Phineas has a red scooter, Ferb is on bicycle, Isabella is on roller boots, Buford is on a skateboard while Baljeet is on a red unicycle. They race away into the hard camera and we head to Doofensmirtz Abandoned Self Storage; and yes, this has it's own jingle. So Perry swings in from his grappling hook and into a window. Apparently; this self storage place is now a giant self ice box; because there is a lot of ice inside; and we see a giant robot penguin. The giant penguin opens it's mouth and sprays water onto Perry; which freezes Perry into a sharp block of ice. An elevator lifts up and it's Doofensmirtz in a SWANK purple parka. He does some ice puns and then introduces his new friend which is a giant robotic penguin known as the Icy-Freeze-Your Socks Off- Breath-inator thingy. Yeah; it's a Pengiun Dragon-inator. Surprise no one has stolen "Penguin Dragon" as a boss monster in an RPG yet. So Doofensmirtz's evil plan is to use the giant pengiuns to overtake the fair and freeze the entire city of Danville; so he can sell hot chocolate to the denizens. The third one cost one million dollars; which is just evil.
I mean; selling the first one for a million is just not rubbing it in see. And yes; there is a shot of the aftermath of Danville when it's frozen showing everyone going around buying hot chocolate from Doofensmirtz's vending kart (with big ass purple mug as a logo with his fugly mug on it). Perry is literally shocked to see this; or it's prehaps the ice. Either way; the giant robot penguins march out with Doofensmirtz speaks in Mexican speak: do svidanya. Down there; that is two vidanyas. Umm; do svidanya means goodbye in Russian and vidanyas is also Russian; not Spanish. UGH! So we head back on the street as Phineas notices that the giant bowling ball is headed for the Bowl-R-Ama as Candace is still rolling the track ball like crazy. So we head to the crimson bowling alley with Lawerence and Linda. Lawerence is currently bowling (and this is ten pin bowling; not candlepin sadly) as Linda is looking at her cellphone confused because Candace hasn't crank called her yet. Lawerence proclaims that they are having a ball see. So then here's what happens next: The giant ball is heading right for the front door; but a white car blocks the entrance and the ball bounces off the car into the air. Somehow the car suffers no damage whatsover as Phineas cringes on cue. Then the ball rolls down a street through a construction zone. Candace rolls too much that the track ball flies off the control panel. The ball rolls past some construction workers into a deep hole where there are two pipes and the ball goes through the right side pipe. All the kids head to the hole as Phineas asks one of the construction workers where the pipe goes and he doesn't know. Which makes me cringe because the second after this; Ferb produces blueprints of Danville's water pipe system which is like a pinball machine. Okay; the gag is funny, but I hate it when they make the adults look like they don't know what they are doing. Phineas proclaims that they are headed downtown and they ride stage right. So we see Candace roll out of a tunnel and land right in the middle of the subway tracks. I think you know where this is going as Candace panics right when the white lights are flashing on her. Yeah; time to play subway pinball!
So the bowling ball gets nailed by the subway train (and suffers zero damage whatsoever again; so at least they are being constant in that logic break I guess) as we see Bob and Barry on a park bench watching the bowling ball rolling away stage left. It also occured to me that this is the same spot I saw in a Rescue Rangers episode years ago; only this one was a far shot; so I cannot tell who those two men look like. The kids arrive inside the station and watch the bowling ball go towards seventh street (so sezs Phineas). They ride away as we see Perry wiggling his toes in the ice block and apparently; there is a mug of hot chocolate on a desk. The rumbling somehow manages to make the mug fall towards the ground. It shatters on the ground and the river of hot chocolate slowly manages to reach the iceblock. The iceblock melts and cracks as Perry gets free; brings out his grappling hook gun and fires it into the window. He swings out of the window and then we segueway to seeing the giant bowling ball shoot right out of the subway stairs which lead underground. The kids come out as the bowling ball bounces off of BBS boards like bumpers; and even pop their tops like bumpers on a pinball machine before finally rolling away stage left. Phineas asks Baljeet about the world record for largest pinball machine; and Baljeet doesn't know despite reading the book; but they can beat it so to speak. What? No trumpet playing from Buford? FACKING BULLSHEET! So Phineas tells them to ride and keep the thing in play until they make it to the fair as they ride away and it's time for the TMS repeated background sequence, only more constant and less choppy. TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM beckons as basically we use the city of Danville as a giant pinball machine which looks really cool; and no worse than the giant rubber ball from FOWL Command in Darkwing Duck. Candace gets a ball in her kisser on screen and it bounces into the red button which disable the gyroscope which causes Candace to spin with the bowling ball instead of staying in one spot. Oh; this is going to leave a mark. In the bowling ball. Keep left sign is used as a flipper and Candace has no control.
Which by the way; is pretty fitting for someone who cannot control her urges to bust her brothers; so this is karma returning the favor for us. Yeah; I'm not calling every scene because I'm not kidding when I say that they use Danville as a pinball machine because that is exactly what happens; which it all ends with Ferb moving a fruit stand male about six inches and the bowling ball lands on the fruit cart and it sprays grape juice everywhere like a Z-Grade movie. Nice one guys! Ferb touches the destroyed cart and the bowling ball rolls stage left. Phineas praises Ferb for keeping it in play as we see everyone else is not amused about this. The bowling ball finally rolls into the fair and we come to one of the game stands as we see a kid trying to throw a baseball at the bowling bottles game; but it bounces off the milk bottles and does nothing else because you see; this carnival barker has gimmicked the bottles to prevent them from tumbling down and thus leech money from the rubes. The male kid wearing a yellow shirt and brown shorts sulks away stage left as the carnival barker (male with a gray winter cap, Satan goatee, purple shirt and white overalls) tells him better luck next time. This is actually one of two appearances of one Shady Joe (voiced by Jess Harnell; which I mentioned in Quack Pack some time ago) as he runs the Knock'em Down game (as per the sign below the counter). He is shady and a heel pretending to be a face as Isabella roller blades in and Joe knows her right away. Which is odd because this is his first appearance. So Isabella gives him a dollar and when the shot turns to behind the bottles; we clearly see that they are propped up with trusses to prevent them from tumbling. So Joe gives her a baseball and Isabella turns around and backs away as Joe turns his back. We then get the bowling ball coming in as it completely destroys the entire tent and game. Isabella comes back just as Shady Joe turns around and sees the carnage. He sulks and Isabella wins everything on the top shelf. That was awesome!
So we see the bowling ball rolling around for a while in the fair and then we cut to a red tent with a red curtain plus wooden stage. Yeah; this is where the world records are being held at. We then get a closeup of a blond haired male wearing a red sports jacket and pink shirt with blue tie. YAY! And blue pants as he introduces some of the world record holders in the Most Pointless World Records contest. One is a green shirt hillbilly redneck guy with a straw in his mouth showing the world hairest pig. He is even addressed as Cletus. Why must every redneck southerner male have a name like Cletus? Then we see a female who I swear to god is Vivian in a yellow radiatation suit showing a sealed pressure cooker of Swiss Cheese; and this is for the world's stinkiest cheese. The next one is Little Timmy showing off the world's fattest gerbil in a steel cage. So the blond haired announcer wants some pop; and the crowd gives little to it. So Phineas & Ferb arrive on their wheels telling him to stop the pointless records because they have two pointless records of their own. Blond haired announcer invites them on stage and ask them what those two records are. Phineas comes over and tells him that they broke the world's largest bowling ball and world's largest pinball machine; which the announcer thinks it's great; but he needs to see them. Ferb tells him to wait for it and here comes the bowling bowl bouncing off the purple tents like bumpers; which shouldn't be possible since tent's are too light to pull it off and the thing bounces away. Doesn't matter because the blond announcer has declared that both records are officially broken; and they also broke two records in one day; thus it's another broken record. Sadly; it appears you can only break three records per day because they stop the obvious joke and moved onto the robot penguins marching in with Doofensmirtz and his purple parka of awesomeness; along with his vending cart which is getting there in terms of SWANK~! Doofensmirtz states that thw fair is where the beginning of the freezing of the Tri-state area will commence.
So here's the finish: Agent P is swinging in with his grappling hook gun and lands on the street. He notices Doofensmirtz going towards the fair. Perry grappling hooks a generator with a bowling ball sized elbow joint pipe and takes it down and it lands on the street. Perry turns it into the direction where the bowling ball would nail Doofensmirtz and the penguins. The big ass bowling ball rolls it and takes the elbow turn towards the fair. The bowling ball rolls into the fair and Doofensmirtz turns around. Doofensmirtz is confused about this giant bowling ball and it rams right into him and the penguins like a big game of bowling (I smell fourth record commencing for Phineas & Ferb) and the penguins explode on contact causing Doofensmirtz and Candace to fly into the air. Candace screams (as per her contract) and lands right in the Ferris Wheel seat right next to Jeremy. Got all that? Good; because that was a good enough finish. They also kept the logic of not having Candace looked harmed in any way too. So Jeremy and Candace make some small talk and Candace overhears Phineas & Ferb on the microphone on stage as Ferb has all the trophies in his hands; as Phineas thanks Candace for making this possible. Candace grits her teeth in fear as Jeremy calls the boys all right; so he's in on the schemes and doesn't care. Jeremy then notices Candace is gritting her teeth and pointing down towards the ground because she's afraid of heights. Jeremy holds her shoulder and she turns towards him and feels better. This whole thing ends with Phineas and Perry on stage as Phineas allows Perry to speak on the microphone. Awww; how sweet of him! Perry chitters and that ends the episode at 11:00 approx since the ED is the exact same one I ranted on in Traffic Cam Caper. This was a really fun episode which had a really neat pinball machine spot and Doofensmirtz being evil and funny as usual. Candace in the bowling ball was great and so was Isabella's screwjob to Shady Jo(k)e; so I give this a *** 3/4 (75%). One final note: This episode was in season one; but the Animal Agents version of this uses the season three opening. I know this because Phineas slowly starts to smile while underneath the tree beginning in season two; while that doesn't happen in the first season. Hey; it's better continuity then Johnny Test's opening when it took the second season before we heard the guitar actually breaking when Dukey smashes it at the end.
What'D I Miss?: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM as Buford is talking about seamstress (hey; another word kids seldom use that begins with the letter s. Sadly; that joke is not used here) walks back into the stateroom (#2) and saying titanium. See; Buford misconstructed it as cranium as we see Phinea, Isabella, Baljeet and Phineas sitting underneath the tree eating banana yellow frosted cupcakes. I'm serious about the color of those cupcakes; right down to the jellybean and frosting. Must be "Stop Making Fun Of Gedo Day"! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Buford calls this the punchline for a joke as Baljeet points out that he didn't have a setup for a joke to pay off. So these writers are self-aware about random humor. HAHA! So Ferb is walking inside the backyard wearing formal office attire while carrying Perry in his left arm. Ferb is wearing a purple sweater with that cheese colored tie that he's wearing. I just realized that he has one eye that is bigger than the other eye; which is odd, but doesn't offend me. Ferb is back from debate camp so soon as Isabella does the "Whatca doing?" catchphrase on Ferb! Ferb claims that the debate ended earlier than expected as we hit the flashback to the stage with red curtains and two podiums. Ferb is on the left and there is a curley haired black boy in a green sports jacket and a clock handed necklace over his white shirt and gray pants. He instantly conceeds the debate to Ferb claiming that Ferb is right all along and has changed his worldview. He thanks him as well as the female judge is misty eyed while the male judge with glasses on proclaims that Ferb is playing to win and everyone pops; except for Perry who is sitting in his seat upright; but doesn't chitter. Yeah; a black boy conceeds a viewpoint to a white boy, how classy. No, not really. So let's get all the tributes out of the way before we return to reality (no, not really)...
Black Debate Boy With Curley Hair is voiced by Khamani Griffin and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!) is best known for playing Bobby James in the UPN/CW series All Of Us He starred as Ben Hinton in Daddy Day Care (2003- his acting debut) and had a role in Norbit (2007). He has also appeared in Grey's Anatomy, ER, and My Name Is Earl. He has been nominated with three Young Artist Awards for his roles in Daddy Day Care and All of Us. He also made an appearance in Lil' Kim's video download. Khamani had a main role on the popular game show Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader? until its series finale on September 18, 2009. Phineas & Ferb is his DTVA debut and also was Prince Khalid in Sofia The First. Love That Girl as Cordell is his most recent credit. He has 24 acting credits and one self credit to his resume. Judge with glasses is voiced by Patrick Rafferty and Patrick's resume is really short: The Rockville Slayer as Police Officer #1 in 2004 and mostly cameos and short segments from there. Phineas & Ferb is his DTVA debut and only appearance. Trophy Wife (Driving Proctor) is his most recent credit. He has 17 acting credits to his resume. Female Judge is voiced by Stephanie Courtney. Stephanie is the sister of Jennifer Courtney and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Courtney broke into television commercials with a Bud Light beer ad on a Super Bowl. She went on to appear in commercials for Skittles, SC Johnson Glade products, General Mills, and the Wienerschnitzel restaurant chain.[1] She began her role as Flo, a quirky, chipper sales clerk in an abstract insurance retail store in a series of Progressive Auto Insurance commercials in 2008.[1] As one critic described the character's appeal:
...the fascination with [Flo] has stormed into the American consciousness ... in either the most annoying or endearing way possible. ...[W]hether you love her or hate her, you can’t ignore her. In the two years since Flo debuted as the unflappably happy sales clerk who presides over the gleaming, white-bright store that sells insurance in handy, easy-to-transport boxes—giving the impression that shopping for insurance is as simple and unfraught as a trip to Ikea—she has become the most recognizable mascot on television, the successor to the Geico gecko, Juan Valdez, The Burger King, and the Pillsbury dough boy. Like those icons, she’s caught on for a reason. Just as during the Great Depression Betty Crocker was a reassuring reminder of home-cooked meals and the suddenly less attainable comforts in life, Flo is a blast of unironic helpfulness and pleasantries in this age of snark, economic uncertainty, and fractured everything. She’s a tangible person and personality in an increasingly virtual world—as real as the shopkeeper you never have to deal with anymore, because you buy everything on Amazon, or the diner waitress who used to serve you a cracked cup of black coffee before you upgraded to double macchiados doled out by a headset-wearing barista.[6]
The campaign's designer, Progressive executive Chris Owens, said in 2010, "We wanted to show how easy it was to buy insurance and how Progressive was a great value. We decided to put a fun and energetic face on it, someone who had a great personality and was friendly with customers. Stephanie came to the audition and gave such an amazing performance, everyone looked at each other and said, 'She's our girl.'"[3] The actress considers the character "me at my silliest. You start off with a script, but at the end they usually let me put a little zinger in there. ... Flo could be one of my improv characters, always on and sort of cracked in a weird way."[7] To create the look, "They tease my hair, spray it and stick the headband in it. And the makeup is like painting a portrait on my face. ... It totally changes things on my face. It's like having a mask on."[7] The character's sex appeal to some viewers baffles her, she said: "I don't know what it is. The way I play her, she's pretty much the most asexual thing on TV right now. I think the Geico lizard puts out more sexual vibes than Flo does."[7] She has appeared in such films as The Brothers Solomon, Blades of Glory, The Heartbreak Kid, Melvin Goes to Dinner, for which she and the ensemble cast were awarded the Copper Wing at the 2003 Phoenix Film Festival,[citation needed] and Fred: The Movie. Courtney was a member of the improv team Sliced Bread, which appeared on the improv-comedy competition World Cup Comedy on the Ion Network, then the Pax Network.[citation needed] She appeared on the season-three episode "Dad" of Angel, as well as on a season-seven episode of House M.D., entitled "Selfish", the Everybody Loves Raymond episode "Cookies" and the United States of Tara episode "Aftermath."
She began her career as a waitress in Mr. Show With Bob & David along with Sweet Bird Of You as Kate in 1998. Phineas & Ferb is her DTVA debut, only appearance and most recent credit; along with being Kevin's mother in Fred: The Show. Yes folks; the Fred from Youtube who made it when he appeared on iCarly in one of the most jaw dropping facepalms in the children's live action era. She has 45 acting credits and six Self credits to her resume. So Phineas offers Ferb some acorn nut muffins; which is the official muffin of the Acorn Cafe. Okay; I made up that last part. Apparently; the nuts on top are in fact training nuts from yesterday as Ferb has one of the muffins in his hand and is confused by this. Ferb asks what did he miss; which is the name of this episode and sits down as Phineas explains that it began simply enough. So we HIT THE FLASHBACK as Phineas is standing alone in front of a table covered in a white cloth with a small chalkboard in the back of the table underneath the tree. Phineas explains that he got up early so he could help Isabella earn her surfing patch. So Isabella comes in and thanks him for helping her earn the surf patch; which Phineas sezs no problem, both in narration and in storyline. Phineas then sezs that he'll stop narrating now and both Isabella and Phineas look not amused directly at the hard camera. So Phineas unveils a set of prototype surfboards and Isabella has no idea that they are prototypes and thus not the final product; because she comments that they are cute for squirrels. One of them has the Fireside Girls logo and the others are basically Phineas, Ferb, Baljeet and Buford. Baljeet has a pi symbol on his, Buford has the skull symbol on his. And lo and behold; Baljeet and Buford come in with a box of squirrels. And they say that it is a box of squirrels. We are talking like a Spongebob Squarepants episode again; which is fitting because the creators thought this would be the next Spongebob. Yeah.
Buford is complaining that he wanted to pick up a box of scorpions as Baljeet states that he won the game they played called Rochambeau fair and square. The next obvious question would be: What in the blue hell is Rochambeau? Which Isabella asks in more diplomatic terms than I do as Phineas states that it's Rock, Paper, Scissors...I'm guessing that it's in French because Isabella is wondering why he didn't just say that as Buford has the Gruffi pose and demands to know why paper beats rock. Sadly; we'll never know the answer because Phineas changes the subject and wants to look into the box. So Baljeet dumps out of the squirrels and there five squirrels in various colors staring into space and to the hard camera doing nothing. Well; Baljeet did claim that they don't do much because they are domesticated and thus have no squirrel skills. So Baljeet demonstrates with an acorn as it is placed in front of one of the squirrels and the squirrel flips it and no sells otherwise. Phineas then proclaims out of nowhere that squirrels eat nuts; not turn them. And thus ruined the entire non-verbal cue. Listen execs; kids are not that moronic that they need to be told what the non-verbal cue is already telling us. All right? So Phineas is about to do his usual promo; but then stops because Ferb is off to debate camp. Baljeet offers to act like Ferb; and basically makes his right eye look different from the left with popping sounds. Isabella is impressed. I'm not since Buford's stance on "Where's Perry" was funnier as Phineas asks where Perry is and Buford blows him off because he doesn't know. HAHA! So we return to reality (no, not really) as Phineas wraps up the early segment; and then asks where Perry is again. Yeah; because if we continued the flashback as is and show Perry going to OWCA Headquarters; then that would be a major gaping logic break since Phineas & Ferb aren't supposed to know that Perry is Agent P until the Disney Channel movie. So we see Perry plop on the chair in front of the computer in OWCA headquarters. The monitor seems to be fuzzy as snow before Major Monogram appears as he greets Agent P on his return from his day off.
So then Monogram proclaims that there is a crisis brewing in Danville that could threaten the fabric of existence. I didn't know existence was made of cloth. I thought I was made of chemcials and minerals. Anyhow; the big crisis is...wait for it...wait for it some more...peaches! OH MY GOD NO! NOT THE PEACHES! THIS REALLY IS A CRISIS! WHAT AN EVIL BASTARD THIS DOOF.....(Kit looks at me. Gregory: ...oh...) I love peaches. Most so frozen peaches! You have a problem with that?! Okay good. So yes there is a crisis in Danville because there is a shortage of peaches. So Perry rockets up into the air before Monogram can wish him good luck on finding Doofensmirtz because the peaches were traced back to him. Umm, yeah. He was in a hurry...to kill Doofensmirtz for taking all the peaches. Oh those glorious and tasty peaches! So we head back to the tree (in the present mind you) as Phineas continues the narration and proclaims that it was this time when Candace came in and said....And speaking of the devil herself; here she comes demanding answers to this outrage. Phineas points out that he is explaining to Ferb what he did yesterday. Baljeet sezs something before this; but no one cares what he thinks anymore. Candace asks if this is a confession and Phineas outright states that it sounds like one. So Candace tells him not to speak another word...and that goes double for Ferb...as she bails stage right to get her cellphone because she wants Linda to hear every word he sezs. Ummm; here's the problem with this: Everytime there is a confession and Phineas admits his guilt in front of Linda; Linda shrugs it off everytime. So what is the point of doing this; other than to make Candace look like a complete...oh yeah; I see now. Bastards! Phineas of course breaks Candace's orders because he talks about the irony of Ferb not talking; and Candace blows him off in the process. So we head to the beach as Agent P lands on the sand in his rocket pack. Then he gets buried in sand with a sand bucket attached to a robotic arm. Ooookkkkaaayyyy.
So we see Doofensmirtz (hairy legs and purple trunk with a green apron on) with a burger flipper, a red flag and a kitchen stove with oven. HAHA! So Doofensmirtz blow off the temp guy who replaced him during the last day while Perry was in debate camp. Then we hit the flashback back to the debate club as the black curly haired boy conceeds the debate again; only Perry is at the podium in animal mode. Yes; a black boy lost to a chittering platypus. Someone has skin issues and needs to be fixed right now. Bigots. So Doofensmirtz talks about being at a clam bake (as per the yellow banner) with an oven. He would normally tells us this cool plan he has as Vanessa arrives with a silver platter wearing a two piece bathing suit with black skirt with prickley branches on it. He admits that it involves his Peach Cobbler-inator as there is a laser gun underneath the dome which Doofensmirtz brings out and Vanessa leaves stage right. Wait; so Vanessa likes Doofensmirtz again? Doofen kneels down and states that he must flashback to yesterday for all of this to make any sense. And of course he has to talk about the great shot of Doofensmirtz Evil Incorporated (complete with jingle and extra yesterday zip on it) and inside the lab as Doofensmirtz is polishing one of his inators proclaiming that Perry should be knocking down the door anytime now. And the entire wall with the door gets destroyed and in comes a rhino with a fedora hat. Agent R is completely unexpected according to Doofensmirtz who climbs down a blue step ladder. He sees the fedora hat and whips out the green remote with a blue button on it; and presses it. A tiny handcuff device pinches the back leg of Agent R. Umm; yeah this is not going to end well for Agent R nor Doofensmirtz for that matter. So Doofensmirtz explains that Roger Doofensmirtz is having a beauty contest; but Agent R just walks off cutting him off. Doofensmirtz is not amused as he blows off Agent R because he's pontificating here. No one can accuse Doofensmirtz of being the sharpest knife in the drawer; that is for sure.
So Doofensmirtz explains that he wants to ruin Roger's life again because he's hosting a "Everyone Wins" beauty contest. So Doofensmirtz has a plan to use squirrels and pantyhose; but he was distracted by a leaky faucet. I can relate; most so when you are trying to sleep. So then Doofensmirtz had a Krackpotkin and ditched the domesticated squirrels and pantyhose; and created the Leaky Faucet-inator! Which is a kitchen faucet expanded to 20 times it's size. And this is not a short plan explanation as Doofensmirtz admits to. Doofensmirtz proclaims that he will make Roger pay by dropping a big ass drop of water on his head; and Agent R doesn't give a damn and walks off to eat in the trash can and make a mess on the floor. Doofensmirtz protests this because he'll get coffee grounds everywhere; which we don't see at all. Doofensmirtz claims that he's just saying that this is smoother with Perry. To which I reply: Of course! So we go back to the backyard as Linda is being dragged in by Candace; and Linda waves to the kids and asks what the hell is this about. Phineas proclaims that they are telling Ferb what they did yesterday and Linda is loving this idea of telling stories. Candace claims that this is more than a mere story; this is full disclosure. This is the point where I have to stop caring about the fact that this plan Candace has is doomed from the start. Linda has this look of "Sure it is" and sits down with Candace as we continue the story. Buford speaks now as this is the musical part of the story; so I'm guessing that there is no recap or replay of the first couple of minutes of this. Where have I seen that before? Oh yeah; TNA! Buford proclaims that it's now time to teach the squirrels how to be squirrels. So we hit the flashback, montage and TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM all at the same time as we have squirrel boot camp. Somehow; this is much funnier than it originally sounds. We get model car spots; hurtle spots, classrooms about nuts, giving nuts, taking nuts, eating nuts, being too fat to climb hurtles and stuff like that.
Squirrel dancing, brushing tails with brushes and lots of stuff as it seems that they are multiplying with each passing minute since there were originally six squirrels in the box; now there are at least six dozen of them! Squirrel makeover from Isabella as Buford shows the proper squirrel dance and they sell it. The song ends and it's a giant thumbs up for it as it was amusing enough; although the logic was wonky. So Phineas checks off the deeds done to finally make the squirrels go wild and we return to reality (no, not really). And it just occured to me that the sound effects used in the flashbacks are a poor man's version of the same sound effects used for flashbacks in Mona The Vampire from Cookie Jar Entertainment. I'm from Canada; there are some really interesting and compelling cartoons from outside America you know. Which are animated in Korea like the ones in America. YATZEE! Linda asks Buford if he taught the squirrels how to dance and Buford claims that he is like an onion. Baljeet asks if that means he has layers and Buford claims that this is true too. So he makes people cry and smells funny? In season one; that actually makes perfect sense; but not so much since Raging Bully. So we head back to the beach with Perry in sand while Doofensmirtz is turned on sand. He then focuses on the stuff that happened after he cleaned up the coffee grounds and loaded Agent R and the Leaky Faucet-inator onto his rocket skiff and headed for the beauty contest hosted by Roger Doofensmirtz. Agent R has one leg chained to a wooden stake on the skiff by the way. So we head to Danville Park as we see a stage with a background that is in purple colors with a white background that reads in handwriting "Everyone's A Winner" as Doofensmirtz arrives at the swimsuit contest; which is decided by slingshotting swim suits and bras like a javalin contest. Roger claims one of them has gone 12 feet and that's a world record. The irony has to be lost on Roger to have world records/contests when "Everyone's A Winner"; but then that hasn't stopped anyone in this cartoon thus far. Doofensmirtz is over the stage now as he blows off Roger for being cocky and having the cocky smile on.
So he goes on about something; but then a bird lands on Agent R's back and sqwacks. Doofensmirtz blows it off and tries to whack the bird; but it lands on Doofensmirtz's head. I'm guessing that this bird is offended by Doofensmirtz telling him to find another symbiotec relationship. So the bird pecks on his hair and Doofensmirtz suddenly changes his mind and likes it. So he goes over to power up the inator and it powers up. Agent R no sells the whole thing as Doofensmirtz reminds him that this is the point where he can escape now. Agent R no sells so Doofen goes over and releases the ankle shackle from Agent R which would be the worst move for a heel ever in any other universe; but if you recall what I have said many times: Even in storyline; the whole thing is a work. Agent R simply walks away stage right as Doofensmirtz is not happy even though the drop of rain water is over Roger's head; although the animation has it missing it by 10 feet. Yeah; I'm used to this, so we finally get Agent R tilting the skiff to the right; and breaking the gyroscope sensor on it because they go for a tailspin in midair and Doofensmirtz is cloning himself and states that this is beautiful. The water drop takes forever to come out; but it finally does as we head to the backyard up the tree as the Buford tells the squirrels to go down and one of them screws it up because he didn't go down headfirst. So the squirrel corrects himself and they go down the tree. The big raindrop then comes down and crashes into the backyard and we get a really cool; but silly spot where they surf on the mini surfboard prototypes out of the backyard with water. Isabella is impressed as they apparently did the pyramid on the way out which she didn't teach. Damn; if only we saw that lost footage of them practicing surfing moves on those boards; this payoff would be perfect. As this was going on; Linda is being pushed in by Candace because Candace is trying to bust her brothers. So we head back to Doofensmirtz's skiff spinning around and making Doofensmirtz spin his head and hate life. As usual.
So we head back on stage as Roger thanks a blond hair female in a blue dress who is waving to the crowd and the crowd pops for her. I discover that she was addressed as Katie Bogosian and she did whistling belly button performance. Oooooookkkkkkkkaaaayyyyy. She needs to see a doctor according to Roger; and she probably needs therapy and a side bar too. Roger proclaims that this is the end of the competition unless there are any last minute drop in; and of course Agent R and Doofensmirtz drop right on stage beside Roger. We have a rhino bucking spot from Doofensmirtz and we cut to discover that these are the exact three judges who did the debate competition. Now; the problem with this is: This happened yesterday at the same period of time when Ferb was having his debate competition; and these were the exact same three judges. I realize what the joke is; but the Economy of Characters Syndrome is so dumb here that no one can tell me this makes any sense. The glasses judge is trying to sound hip and cool; but he is crappy and lame in that order, which is the average writer in the new Disney. Doofensmirtz is called a pharmacist once again as the judge was talking to a dog this time and acts all cocky and stuff. Yeah; the image of a lazy writer who thinks kids are so stupid not to notice the con being pulled here. Did I mention the table and the stage where the judges are stationed are purple in color? So we finally return to reality (no, not really) as Doofensmirtz puts on the beauty crown and pink sash which makes him look so dorky that he's a cool heel again. He was crowned King Pretty Pretty Princess; which he admits is a contradiction that is lost on guys like Roger. So in essence; Doofensmirtz beat Agent R because he got to ruin Roger's life by winning the contest where Everyone Is A Winner. See; that makes sense! So the guise of this was that he won his first contest and therefore is entering contests such as the clam bake; but he's not really good at it; so he's making Peach Cobbler instead.
So he brings out the laser gun called the Peach Cobbler-inator and it's pretty clear who stole the peaches in this case as he proclaims that the device causes everyone to love peach cobbler. This turns Doofensmirtz into a total babyface because who doesn't want peach cobbler, and that is without the inator in play? So Doofensmirtz proclaims that it's water proof; but then Perry throws sand into it and it sparks. Doofensmirtz realizes that it has no resistance to sand and realizes how dumb it was not to consider that when he was taking it to the beach. So he throws it away and when it bounces off the sand; the beam shoots and deflects off Doofensmirtz Evil Incorporated in the process. So Agent P finally decides to stop selling (yes; I'm aware that he could have done this at anytime, but this is a work so...) and just rockets away with ease. Doofensmirtz curses Perry and his poor planning skills; which is funny because this plan actually worked until the laser beam wasn 't sandproofed or anything. Then the oven (which is a wireless oven) shows smoke as the peach cobbler is burning. Doofensmirtz goes over to it and whines; asking the dumbest question ever: Can this get any worse? Because anyone with an IQ of 17 knows what's coming and the skiff come in and squashes him like a bug. Strangely; the skiff barely touches the oven as Doofensmirtz is selling pain and asks if this means that the skiff was spinning in the air for the last 24 hours or so. So the big wave from the squirrel somehow comes in and washes Doofensmirtz, the oven and the skiff into the ocean and that is that. That was just sad folks. So we return to the backyard as Candace demands that Linda bust the brothers right now and brings out the white camera. So she has a separate camera with her? After all these episode; she had a backup camera? I shake my head in disbelief and she deserves to get screwed by Linda after this. Which is exactly what she did as she not only believes the story; she is happy that they trained squirrels to become squirrels and calls it noble. Somehow; I'm guessing a lot of biologists would say otherwise; but whatever, they don't know any better anyway. Linda is proud of them. So Candace blows it off and wants justice for this outrage (go to hell Candace; no one cares about you!) and she get shot with the beam from the Peach Cobbler-inator and she just sezs peach cobbler over and over again. HA! That actually improves her workrate by 56.87%. Linda tells her that she's lucky that Linda made peach cobbler and she drags her back into the house because she's a zombie for peach cobbler. I like PC Candace by the way as this ends the episode at 10:40 approx; since the ED is the squirrel training song from earlier. I liked this episode and it was really funny; but Candace is once again ruining the buzz of it all. **** (80%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; the final two shorts on Animal Agents were really good. I thought Bowl-R-Drama was very good and had some really great use of Danville and Candace with the bowling ball; because I was digging this all. Sure; it was pretty sloppy like most of the episodes, but I enjoyed it and I'm glad Shady Joe got his (I almost keep typing Shady Joke; which is more fitting name than Shady Joe) from Isabella. There was very little there to hate; although I was disappointed that they didn't maintain continuity with the Buford playing trumpet part. What I'D Miss was great as well; although I didn't like the fact that a black boy was beaten so easily by Ferb and Perry in a debate; and some of the spots made no sense. I did find Doofensmirtz winning against Agent R was funny; and the Peach Cobbler-inator was evil in both a good and a evil way as he stole peaches which gave me the motive to enjoy the Perry/Doof segments more. The flashbacks were perfectly acceptable for what they done; but there was a lot of talking segments and some of them went too long. The squirrel song was funny and cute; but everyone should have seen Linda's reaction coming a mile away because they have done this many times before with the confession and Linda always took the boys side over Candace. Plus Peach Cobbler Zombie Candace is cool and Doofensmirtz only losing because he forgot to sand proof the Peach Cobbler-inator first. Even though the device still worked on Candace. Overall; two good episodes to see. Now next weekend is Where's Perry and that is a 44 minute episode. If I manage to get it done in one shot; then I'll start the Mission Marvel stuff with two rants next week. If it takes two shots; then I'll start Mission Marvel on Tuesday and then work from there. So....
Thumbs in the middle pointing up for Bowl-R-Drama and thumbs up for What'D I Miss? and I'll see you all next time.