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Phineas & Ferb: For Your Ice Only/Happy New Year!
Reviewed: 09/30/2017
Happy Return To The Tri-State Area!
Well everyone; I'm officially back with one of the most iconic shows in the new Disney era and the show that will crossover with Milo Murphy's Law (what a shocker?!); known as Phineas & Ferb. So, we are into season four of this show as we begin with #4-02a and #4-02b on the animation as National Hockey League star Luc Robitaille offers his assistance when Phineas and Ferb take an ice hockey game to the extreme. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz build an Abominable-inator to make himself bigger, scarier and hairer. Then from there, it's New Year's Eve, and Phineas and Ferb build their customized multi-dimensional New Year's Eve ball and drop it to celebrate. At City Hall, Candace goes to a grown up party and makes a resolution to refrain from busting her brothers, but gains a relapse and tries to bust them before the clock hits midnight. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz uses a Resolution-Changer-inator in his bowtie to make everyone change their resolution to follow him as their leader. Consider this an early Christmas rant because I have no plans for a Christmas rant this year due to lack of interest and a lot of Nintendo Switch game playing forthcoming. So; let's rant on shall we...?!
For Your Ice Only is written and storyboarded by Joshua Pruett and Eddie Pitman, the story is done by Scott Peterson and directed by Robert F. Hughes. Happy New Year! is written and storyboarded by Antoine Guilbaud & Kaz, story by Dani Vetere and directed by Sue Perrotto. Animation is done by Wang Films.
Opening Moment #1: Since this is a winter special, the opening is completely changed. Although the song is roughly the same music, the lyrics are different. Here's the song in full. It's really not that much different from the original theme, only with a winter theme. Of course; this actually shows that indeed, this show is all about not going to school, but whatever. Heck; there are too many shows that talk about school lives as it is, so this was considered a breath of fresh air. I should point out that Burford doesn't hate ice dancing like Sid does. Did Phineas change voices by this point? Because he sounds different in this opening. Candance is snowballing pests and complaining about title sequences, I move on.
For Your Ice Only: We begin this one over the streets of Danville with snow falling despite being mostly clear skies. Ah; must be those flurries everyone talks about. So we head to the backyard with Phineas, Ferb, Baljeet and Buford preparing the backyard to create an ice hockey rink with hoses and stuff. Putting a hockey helmet on Phineas head makes him look like a complete tool by the way. So we open the floodgates and somehow these hoses create ice, paint and hockey nets. New Disney everyone, new Disney. Baljeet calls it like Canada, except for all the Canadian animal stereotypes of course. They make jokes about Canadian back bacon as Candance is complaining...AGAIN! They are busted...AGAIN! Lawerence slides on the ice and should put his hands in the air, because he really doesn't care. Somehow; there is a snowbank conveniently placed for Lawerence to bonk into and make a snow angel of himself. He calls it amusing, I call it conveniently boring. Lawerence gets up and wipes the snow off as he informs the babyfaces that he has managed to arrange a exhibition game in between periods of the Danville Icetrays game, just to show how much copyright sucks. They make jokes about half time and Burford claims that bland sport terms are keeping great Canadians down. Considering what has happened this year, I believe it's the other way around. Phineas wants to up this game a notch; so they are going to do hockey Z9. Why do I get the feeling that this is going to be cooler and safer than the real thing? Buford compared it to Football X7, as Baljeet asks where is Y8? Phineas wants to save it for croquet as he and Ferb bail to the toolbox because they have work to do. Candance skates over and blows off hockey, which in many Canadians' eyes, is half riot and half agreeing with her and apologizing. Lawerence calls this complicated, which shows why it hasn't really gotten over in the USA, you know how much the average American idiot hates complex stuff. Lawerence then admits that he never played hockey, but he probably played a lot of cricket as Jeremy comes in and likes ice hockey. Candance loves figure skating, so Sid approves of that at least.
Candance cannot believe Jeremy likes ice hockey. Hey, it could be worse; he could love...ice dancing...and you would give up on Jeremy in a rant that would make Iron Shiek humble too. Candance of course starts to be as awkward as she can, because she cannot let on to Jeremy that she hates ice hockey and doesn't understand it. She sounds like a true Canadian, and that shames me for some odd reason. Candance jokes about jazz hands and Jeremy is confused, more so than I. Lawerence offers Jeremy to come to the event and Candance channels Monster-A-Go-Go's phone ringing sound before bringing out the 15th cell phone of doom. Candance bails with the pink cellphone and calls for Staci, because we have a Code Teal. Did she just claim that this is sexual assault? How tone deaf is that?! Cut to Staci in her room claiming that this is locusts. So yeah; really tone deaf. Candance then claims that it's code Periwinkle and that is a hockey emergency and she's on the case now. Candance asks where Perry is as we see Perry walk to the ice houses on a lake and gets into a pod taking him down to OWCA Headquarters. Major Monogram is at the monitor in winter clothes blowing off Karl...AGAIN! The heater is broke and the repair man went to Aruba for winter break. Perry is at the computer hearing this as Monogram has to address him now. Their computers are ice blocks now as seen with Karl as he's frozen too; so they have no idea what Doofen is up to and they must stop him because he's probably much warmer than OWCA. Damn; this is the motivation stuff I don't like because there's no good reason to go after him and you come off as a heel. So we head to the mountains of Danville at the See Danville Mountain Top Winter Arena (as stated on the barn) which has a parking lot, a barn and a large arena which looks too professional. Why doesn't Danville have an NHL or NBA team yet? So the announcer is Dink Winkerson in his third appearance on this rant. So basically we head to a sky shot of the arena as it's the Danville Icetrays against the Cross Town Contenders. But wait; guess who is the special guest referee for this event? Why; it's none other than...
Luc Robitaille is voiced by himself of course. According to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): A Canadian professional ice hockey executive and former player. He currently serves as president of the Los Angeles Kings of the National Hockey League (NHL). During his 19-season National Hockey League (NHL) career, Robitaille won the Stanley Cup in 2001–02 with the Detroit Red Wings, and played for the Pittsburgh Penguins and New York Rangers, but is most known for his fourteen seasons, over three different stints, with the Kings.[3] He served as Kings team captain during the 1992–93 season (while Wayne Gretzky was injured) and for the final two games of the 2005–06 season. Robitaille retired after the 2005–06 season as the highest-scoring left winger in NHL history and the holder of several Kings franchise records,[4] along with numerous Kings playoff records.[5] On January 27, 2017, in a ceremony during the All-Star Weekend in Los Angeles, Robitaille was part of the second group of players to be named one of the '100 Greatest NHL Players' in history.[6] So Luc asks why it's cold, which is so funny that it makes the punchline of joke so lame in the end. Jump cut to Lawerence, Linda, Jeremy and Candance at the top of the arena as Candance bails and has an earpiece on, because Linda being a hockey mom is so...Canadian. She checks on Staci who has books on hockey and computer headphones ready to make Candance sound like a stupid hockey fan. The book titles include: Who Moved My Puck? Hockey Pucks For The Soul, and The One Minute Hockey Player. What; no Rock'em Sock'em Hockey? How can you be a hockey fan if you haven't seen one of those videos at least once during your life? Jeremy is going to notice that, you know. In comes Ginger whining, because her mother gave Ginger the right to use the computer now. So yes; they have finally proven that Ginger and Staci are indeed siblings.
Ginger threatens to cream her with whipped cream as Staci is apparently a fan of the Paisley Sideburns Brothers, who have no sideburns by the way. Ginger sucks at threats by the way as it's time to go to a top of an icy mountain which has an igloo on top and it's EVIL BABEE~! You all know why; the jingle says it all. A bi-plane arrives and drops off Perry as this is a Canadian igloo. Har har! Perry literally sides down the chimney of said igloo and slides on the icy floor. Doofen is in a purple fur coat and lavander boots sipping cocoa in a steel mug sitting on an icy chair. I am disappointed that the mug wasn't made of ice, I don't care if it's a logic break; it would have still made me laugh. Doofen asks Perry if he wants some drinks, or a giant marshmellow which somehow pops out of his mug and traps Perry in it. Doofen mocks Perry as he then reveals his plan du jour. He proclaims that he thinks he has figured out why he hasn't conquered the Tri-State Area. I have; it's the writers who are at fault here. Of course; that would be a shoot. Doofen in storyline believes that the reason why is because he is too nice. Sounds reasonable to me. He mentions Roger again, but who cares about him anyway. So Doofen breaks his mug and slides his chair back to show a white yeti on a projector tripod as he proclaims that he must be mean, ugly and hairy. Well; he has the ugly part down to a T and the mean part is unintentional since he ran over a cat off-screen, for no reason. Doofen reveals his latest invention known as the Abominanebi-nator. Whoa! Too complex! Dumb it down! Dumb it down! I'll call it the Yeti-nator. Bascially; it makes you bigger, scarier and hairer. Or to dumb it down, it makes you into Umaro from Final Fantasy VI. It's another laser gun with the most absurd looking stocking cap and scarf ever. And I don't mean the fact that there is a stocking cap and scarf on the damn laser weapon! That's typical Doofen stupidity. He had yarn, I have a drink before we return to the hockey arena as the second period buzzer rings. The hockey players end the period skating together to the dressing room which is a complete violation of ice hockey rules.
Not to mention that the majorty of hockey game periods end in a fight that must be broken up. Dink is acting like an idiot again as he gasps and needs to lie down. You need to retire, your puns suck icy lollipops. Oh damn; now I'm starting to sound like Dink. That's horrifying. Jump cut to Candance exchanging notes with Jeremy, and acting like a dishonest policitian while doing it. Even most hockey fans don't know 80% of the rules of hockey. Heck; it's similar to many baseball fans not knowing all the rules of baseball. Ginger is annoying Staci and this causes Candance to screw up and blow her dishonest cover. HAHA! Jeremy smiles and Candance is screwed. HAHA! Considering Jeremy's reaction, he probably knew all along Candance was lying and just gave her enough rope to hang herself. And who says it's always MEN who get this spot?! Stupid judgmental weasels! So Dink is back on the microphone because there is only one event we came for and that is Hockey Z9 BABEE~! Linda has the camera and is ready for this one because it's little kids on ice, you see. Bah; that is false advertising, man! Of course, Linda's camera isn't working because the battery power is low and the gift shop is on the other side of the arena. Of course! Linda bails as we return to the igloo with Doofen on the sled with the remote control and pushes the red button. The laser shoots purple beams and it bounces off the igloo walls and destroys the marshmellow into cream filled with hair, freeing Perry. Doofen is gross, what a shocker as he re-aims the thing and it hits him in the ass and his ass grows big and hairer. I don't think it can get any scarier at this point. Doofen drops right on his fat ass on the sled and it causes the igloo to slide off the mountain side stage right. So the sled breaks the igloo as Perry grabs onto the scarf and the sled ramps off a mountain ramp. Cut back to the rink with Phineas and Ferb skating in, looking like complete tools in their outfits. Ferb pushes a lever (JESUS~!) conveniently placed on the boards, which should be completely impossible to pull off. Hit the Hockey Z-9 opening sequence~!
Isabella introduces the show, because we know she can do a monster truck male voice with the best of them. Infinity symbols made of red dots ensue on the ice as we basically create a Fist Of The North Star ice hockey rink with ice statues of a bear and walrus breathing fire. The players are Phineas, Ferb, Buford, Baljeet and Django enter looking like tools. I thought hockey had six players? This is so Phineas-equse as we jump cut to Candance proclaims that this is so bustable. Considering that the adults are not calling for the kids' head, this is Candance punching down on the children again, making her weaker than the Weak U~! Lawerence tells Candance to go to the gift shop to find Linda, because she needs a disposable camera. Because she forgot to bring a battery charger with her. See; this is why Nintendo portables always win in the end. Candance has no clue what Lawerence is talking about as we cut to inside the gift shop with Linda explaining to a green sweatered dood with brown hair and a green hat at the counter what a disposable camera is. The gift shop clerk has no clue. Wow; I AM old as hell as Linda blows him off and tells him to look in the back. How about bringing a battery charger with you next time, Linda?! We head back to the arena as a flamming stage comes up as the we have three rock stars in hockey gear called the Hockey Hooligans as Isabella is in the PA room looking like the best one of the bunch and she bails to get on the ice. Ah; logic break solved then! Thank you! Dink is confused, I drink and it's time for the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM as we play Hockey Z9. Oh; and they combined curling and bowling with penguins in this entire thing. I love this nonsense because it's so Phineas & Ferb-equse of them to do a musical on ice. Oh; and while bullet shooting guns aren't present, rocket launchers are still allowed in the new Disney. Although after Kick Buttowski, I put nothing past these shows anymore. A polar bear scares Baljeet out of a cave as flamethrowers fly. Okay; so to score in this game, you must shoot the puck in the mouth of the ice statues without being burned to ashes by the flamethrowers.
If Mighty Ducks: The Series didn't look even more low rent before; it sure as hell does now. You wonder why millienials don't care about the Disney Afternoon? Watch this scene and tell me Mighty Ducks: The Series did theirs better. I dare you old farts to prove that. Spoiler alert: You can't and I'm forty years old and someone who has done this ranting thing a lot longer than most critics on Youtube. Isabelle pisses off MRAs (and I love it!) by smashing Burford into the boards. Exploding ice that makes ice cubes for someones drink ensue as the explosions cause the Hockey Hooligans to be chased by a polar bear while holding a panic button out of nowhere. Jump cut to the sled riding on the icy mountain and somehow, this made me fall asleep. Perry climbs onto the sled rail and gets kicked in the face by Doofen Yeti; which looks completely botched. No; the yeti sequence was not botched, it was after he kicked Perry. Doofen admires himself as we begin to fight, and Perry punches Doofen in the face, Doofen hits laser gun twice and laser gun shoots beams. Jump cut to Candance trying to get on the ice, but Luc cuts her off because only players are allowed on the ice, you see. Candance gets a Krackpotkin idea as Luc basically says "if you dress up like a player, it's all cool." I don't know why she bothered, she's failing at this busting crap anyway, so why not? Cut back into the gift shop with the clerk finding a box of disposable stuff from the 1980's including an Atari with joystick and the disposable camera. Linda grabs the camera and bails as the clerk's name is David by the way. David waves back as we cut back to the "thrilling" sled ride down, because nothing is topping Hockey Z9 in this episode. Perry breaks a plank of wood from the sled, which offends Doofen like a Ric Flair chop to Vinnie Mac's chest. By the way; to those who use the analogy "taking a knife to the throat": If this were real, the guy would not be screaming and talking; they would be silent because they would be dead, or make gargle noises. Perry snowboards for fun and Doofen isn't amused by this as Doofen doesn't WATCH OUT FOR THOSE TREES~!
Perry stops before all this as Doofen Yeti returns to normal, meaning Doofen is in his green underwear. He gets slingshot into the Team Rocket exit stage left, curses Perry and that is that. Yawn. So the sled flies off a cliff, causing the laser to bonk into it and shoot a purple beam into the conveniently placed ice polishing machine driven by someone as it turns into a Yeti Ice Polishing Machine and chases after the dood. I discover that the guy works for someone named Mr. Stevens as the ice polishing machine breaks into the arena. Cut to Linda going through a crowd of people holding green foam hands. They're number one! More like #1111111111111~! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...So the kids all see the giant ice polishing machine (because Zamboni is trademarked, which is funny considering that the Zamboni worked for Disney as animators, one of them worked on the old DTVA shows no one cares about) and bail; the machine destroys the entire Hockey Z9 arena and returns it to a normal hockey arena and it leaves through the other door without causing any vandalism whatsoever. I'm guessing the second guy closing up the doors is Mr. Stevens as the crowd pops for it. The crowd sits down as Linda returns with the camera as the hockey rink shows everyone in costume with Luc Robitaille in a photo op. Sadly; the camera could not handle Isabella's pink feather on the hat as it turns black on the photo image after the picture was taken. Luc thanks them for the weirdest hockey game he has ever seen. No crap, Sherlock! In comes Candace wearing a green/white hockey jersey and green hockey helmet, officially making her look like a bigger tool than the kids are, although she is one in storyline, so it's perfectly fine. So the kids leave as Luc tells her to sneak on the ice because Hockey Z9 is over. Candace is so pissed off as she breaks the hockey stick and throws her gloves. That's a no-no, Candace as Luc blows the whistle and she gets a match penalty for unsportmanlike conduct! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! She heads to the penalty box as Jeremy is amused by this. Jeremy wants to eat as Candace loves to, but she needs two minutes. I'm pretty sure it's 15 minutes for that, writers! Perry appears and chitters to end the episode at 10:20 approx. Hockey Z9 was awesome, but the rest was just there to suck, sadly. Ending was funny though. *** 1/4 (65%).
Happy New Year!: We begin with a snowy title card as we pan down to Vivian's house with the kids (Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Buford, Baljeet and Perry of course) and Vivian as the snow is disappearing. So the car contains Candace, Linda, Lawerence (driver of course) and Staci. Vivian is having all the neighbourhood kids over to her place tonight as Candace is complaining about going to a grown up party, acting like a child as usual. Linda waves goodbye as the car speeds off. Isabella cannot wait for this party to get started tonight. It's New Years Eve, you see and in America, we get to watch the New Years ball drop to signal in the new year. That means the kids get to stay up until at least midnight this time. Sadly; Baljeet's biological clock is set at seven pm and he's sleeping on his feet. HAHA! Buford elbows him to wake him up. Baljeet is also drooling as Baljeet gets off the educational line of the episode, which no one really cares. Burford tells him that if it wasn't for the gross factor, Baljeet would be in Wedgie-town. Of course! So we exchange notes on the ball drop which of course means that they are teasing Phineas and Isabella sharing a kiss at midnight. Pfft; whatever turns you on. Phineas proclaims that he's going to do their own New Years Ball Drop from outer space. Isabelle's response is like: "Wait; is the kiss off now?". Yeah; they tease it again and they aren't going to deliever. What a shocker?! Vivian is so happy that Phineas has an active imagination. Word. Isabella claims that it's not active enough and does the Gruffi pose. Uh-oh! Looks like the ship is off...for ten minutes anyway. Vivian bails to make some hot chocolate and asks where Perry is because he disappeared by teleport. Don't worry; he wasn't written out by teleport as he opens a icy porthole door and jumps into the ground. Jump cut to Perry at the computer with Major Monogram as the heater in OWCA headquarters has now spread into Agent P's computer room, and Agent P is now a solid ice block. Then a beach ball bounces the background away as Monogram is actually at the beach; probably trying to convince the repairman to fix the heater, so Monogram is in Auruba.
Painfully awkward, especially with the outfit Monogram has on. Karl is in swimming trunks as he wants to race to the jet ski as we discover that Doofen is being evil at Roger and City Hall again, so blah, blah blah. Monogram runs off and he's only wearing a scarf and hat with swim trunks, Perry is not amused by this and that is that. So we head back to the background of Vivian's as a giant metal globeish ball is assembled with a crane. I am so used to this by now, I think they should have stopped at 104 episodes to complete the payoff to the theme song (similar to Fish Hooks on the secret they cannot tell, despite everyone seeing it coming from episode #1). Ferb is soldering, Isabella is assembling (and seemly happier now) and Buford is painting it white and complaining. I don't blame him; Baljeet is doing absolutely nothing and Phineas is already the coordinator. Buford claims that painting is for babies and beatniks. Geez; that sounds like projection methinks. Phineas claims that this is super sealer paint that protects them from the vacuum of space, which Buford calls beatnik talk. Because saying "pointy-headed" talk is bigoted you see, although I don't see how beatnik is an improvement. In comes Irving and the Fireside Girls along with three other kids as Irving asks Phineas about seeing inside of the ball, and Phineas is fine with this as they head inside as the ball contains all the trapping of New Years in a kid's environment. It's complete with a punch bowl ride with sailing cups, massive balloon room, a bed of a thousand coats, an infinity slide and a grand disco ball room which is a ball inside a ball. Har har. Irving of course tries out the infinity slide like a stupid idiot. HAHA! So we head to Doofenshmirtz's Evil Incorporated for the first time in years (for rant purposes of course) as we head inside the lab as Norm is already messing with Doofen's mind. HAHA! Then glass breaks and it's STONE COLD...Wait; Perry breaks in and there are no windows present. Why? So Perry gets trapped as a cork of a giant apple cider bottle. This is perfect since the moral guardians don't have to worry about it having alcohol, while I can enjoy this assuming that there is alcohol inside.
Oh; and Doofen admitted that it's sparkling cider, so there you go. Doofen calls him Perry the Corkapus, I need another drink please. Norm of course annoys Doofen with confetti, Doofen blows him off...AGAIN! Doofen's plan du jour is to base his plan off New Year Resolutions as Doofen was surprised by this custom, because you see, in Drusselstein, change was seen as evil as ISIL. Allegedly. We have a flashback of doom, which is barely hiding the fact that Drusselstein is basically a thinly veiled Nazi region. Young Doofen puts a tree air freshener in his pants of course and goes to jail with two big punk doods, because we have to imply prison rape that isn't going to happen on this show. Back to reality (no, not really) as Doofen shows off a black bow tie with a red button, calling it the Resolution-Change-inator. I agree that it's clever, I mean; it's basically taking pictures with your bowtie and that's always awesome. Basically; the device brainwashes everyone to become Doofen's slave basically. Ho hum. Like we haven't seen this done a million times before on this show and other series. Perry is not amused as Doofen puts the bowtie and Norm calls Doofen a pharmacist in a bowtie. Pretty much what I thought too, Norm. Norm blows party flavors and Doofen blows him off as Doofen bails stage left. So we head to city hall as we head inside the lobby with Linda and Lawerence holding hands, while Candace and Staci walk in together as they are adults now, albeit very insecure. Well mostly Candace as they obsess over men; because that is what all stereotype women do, am I right? Idiots. Candace's new year's resolution is no more busting Phineas & Ferb. Well good; the angle was dead back in season one and no one cares enough to get angry over it anymore. So good for Candace. Sadly; we all know where this is going now, don't we? She hasn't heard of Phineas & Ferb for fifteen minutes and she is teasing turning back complete with scary music and close up shot. Staci says her name and Candace snaps out of it and she's fine...for now. HEEHEEHEEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... In comes Jeremy and Coltrane in their best tuxedoes.
Jump cut back to Doofenshmirtz's Evil Incorporated and back into the lab with Perry bouncing the giant sparkling cider bottle as Norm comes in and proclaims that carbonation is fun; while Perry escapes by popping himself out of the bottle. Whatever turns you on, Norm. Head back to city hall as more denizens from the Tri-State Area as the doors bust open and in comes Doofen wearing his stupid bowtie...ZAP! OUCH! Ummmm...I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy! POW! OUCH! Ummmm.... (Doofenshmirtz: Oh come on! I still need you to do color on this episode.) Doofen talks to a black haired dood in a mustache and he blows off the poor guy's resolution before leaving, and the poor dood acts like he just got punked. Cut to inside the ball room with the adults...and Candace. Candace and Staci are at the table exchanging pleasure thoughts, while acting totally insecure in the process. Candace destroys a table because RELAPSE~! Because status quo is god and it rules see. Because children cannot take complex characters you see; which is funny because it seems adults cannot do the same either. So Jeremy and Coltrane with a tray of sparkling ciders in wine glasses, because they are the waiters for the night. Candace cannot take this and needs a time out; like a child of course, so she bails. Yip, REPLASE~! That's what you think...Oh wait; that Doofen insulting another guest before she leaves stage right. Doofen is so...Oh wait; Perry storms in with his jingle sang. Cocky bastard. Doofen blows him off because this is a black tie affair. Racist punk. Perry leaves and then storms in with a tuxedo. HA! Doofen checks the invite and since pants are involved, Perry is okay. Idiot. Jump cut to Linda and Lawerence exchanging notes as the sparkling cider takes it's proper effect. Call it shooting the breeze in a TV-Y sort of way. Apparently; the ancients male and female denizens all wore makeup just like in the 1980's. Okay. Cut to the washroom with Candace washing her face in the sink as two women are in the room with Candace and one of them is eating a cheese sandwich while the other one is calling her out on it.
The sandwich eating woman claims that it's all okay because it's not midnight, and it's 11 pm, so Candace uses this as an excuse to bust her brothers. Loopholing: It's the responsible thing to do. Candace dresses up and runs off to get her cell phone; but MR. ICY ROADS screws her over as she pinballs like crazy and somehow manages to get back on her feet and doesn't break her cellphone. Wow; actual character development?! There is hope for her...Oh wait; she's trying to bust the boys, so maybe not. Jump cut to inside the Global New Years Ball with Phineas and the kids sitting in as they have their regular clothes on now, and safety belts on. Confetti is thrown as Phineas starts this ball bashing with pulling the lever (JESUS~!) as we head outside with the disco painted ball rising into the sky. Candace somehow arrives exactly thirty seconds too late and she whines; but there is Irving conveniently placed at a table with a camera, a laptop and a satellite dish, because he's live blogging it on the podcast. Nowadays; you live stream it on Youtube, so this is so 2012 of you show. Candace looks into the video camera and calls it Internet Land, and she is a bustin BABEE! Irving returns and he claims that's not happening. True. And Internet Land is not real. False. Jump cut to Doofen running into the coat room and Doofen gets kicked in the face by Perry out of nowhere, which causes Doofen to somehow bump into the coats and return wearing a purple coat and hat. Doofen wants a fight, Perry kicks him into the left side of the coats; and they are cashmere. Jump cut to the entrance as Candace is panting when she opens the door. And she lost her coat and her mind as Jeremy walks in with sparkling cider as Candace takes a rain check on that because it's busting time. Serious relapse indeed as Candace runs in to the giant television screen and USB connects her cellphone to it as it shows footage of the giant disco ball on a pole in outerspace as she addresses the crowd as there is some busting to do...
Interesting Moment #1: Well folks, at the 17:26 mark, someone in the audience says "Oh my God"; and it's also on the captions. So yes; God was still allowed in the new Disney. I'm beginning to suspect that no one is ever paying attention to the actual shows and just bashing them for no reason. Ironically; you can say God; but Zamboni is forbidden. Trademark law sucks!
By the way; Candace calls this not fantastic and all the adults overrule her. The only one who cares about them being busted, because Candace is a white haired woman with a pearl necklace now. No shock; Candace wants her to adopt her right now, despite being in their first year of adulthood. So we head to the disco globe of doom as Phineas pushes the lever (JESUS~!) and starts dropping the ball towards the stock images of Earth. So Doofen comes out as his coat is a purple fur coat and top hat as he claims Perry is in a straight jacket. Wait; what? Is BS&P celebrating New Years Eve, too? So two denizens run in because it's one minute until midnight. Sadly; we never see Perry in the straight jacket as Doofen runs on the stage in front of the giant television screen...Oh wait; Perry comes out in a straight jacket; but throws it away literally two seconds later. Doofen chuckles as Perry runs in with a chair. Wait; Royal Rumble is three weeks away guys! Doofen runs on stage as Doofen defends himself and then Perry puts the chair down and sits. It's a replay of Carlito's Cabana with John Cena on Raw back in 2005 I do believe. Perry does the Gruffi pose and dares him to push the button as Doofen gets in position as we do the final countdown towards 2013...Candace is looking for Linda as Linda finds her and Lawerence in the courtyard doing some kissy-kissy. Good thing Isabella didn't see that, she would be jealous. So the globe lands on the ground as it's Happy New Year while Doofen pushes the button and shoots the crowd with purple beams -- his favorite color by the way --. Confetti flies as Doofen asks what their New Years Resolutions are and they all agree to be slaves to Doofen of course. Doofen taunts Perry who seems to be acting not thrilled about the situation as Doofen bails and wants to take over city hall. Doofen leaves and...no one follows him. Uh-oh! Doofen runs on stage and demands answers to this outrage. Doofen, you are a stupid idiot. Don't you realize that no one ever follows through on their New Years Resolution?! Epic fail! Doofen cannot believe this and then blows off Perry for abusing him under the knowledge that Perry won!
Yeah; because you have to act like the heel might win, even when he doesn't. That's sort of how babyface/heel dynmanics work. Perry gives Doofen a party favor, Doofen blows it, Happy New Year. Cue TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM as we jump cut to Candace dancing with Jeremy. Wait; wasn't she in the courtyard looking for Linda? Lots of dancing, both inside the ball and the ball room. Lots of disco music and lots of nice dancing and feeling. Somehow; there is footage of Phineas and Ferb in the underground parking lot dancing like Elvis. Doofen dances with Perry, which looks less awkward than Major Monogram, so screw him! Phineas & Isabella dance and could this mean, the big kiss is coming. 2:1 odds say it doesn't...The kids dance and march out of the globe while Monogram and Karl dance in Aruba's beach. I was hoping for the repairmen to show up; but he doesn't. Jump cut to outside on a look off as Candace and Jeremy walk over to it. We get film footage sequence of both families of the Flynn-Fletchers dancing and kissing, along with Staci and Coltrane as Phineas and company see the global ball showing footage of everyone having a good time as the ball rises into the sky as Phineas asks Ferb about it. Ferb claims that "Auld Lang Syne" literally means "old long ago" as the globe explodes into fireworks; causing Phineas to ask if Candace can see them. Yes, yes she can Phineas. Candace isn't sure about keeping the resolution, but Jeremy doesn't care and they kiss as fireworks spray in the sky and show "Happy New Year" in yellow and purple dots to end the episode at 10:20 approx. A fun new years episode with a great finish that you know it's coming, but was done wonderfully while keeping the suspense up. Candace will be busting into 2013 and beyond, probably trying to bust Milo Murphy too. *** 1/2 (70%).
THE REVIEW LINE
It's the winter holiday season and both episodes were perfectly acceptable cartooning for the most part. Happy New Year was really fun and it was pretty neat to see Candace trying to act like an adult, while at the same time acting like a moral guardian. Doofen's plan was so classic epic fail that if they did any other finish than the one they ultimately picked; I would have been pissed off. Even I was fooled by the finish even though I should have easily seen it coming. That's how good the illusion Perry pulled off in making this worth fighting for. I should have seen it coming when Perry basically replayed the ending to Louie's Last Stand with Kit Cloudkicker standing there smiling and doing nothing while the adults were panicky about Douglas Benson blowing up Louie's. I also am happy that standards and practices has returned to 1990 DTVA levels after seeing this episode and the KB episode Last Fan Standing. Yes; Gravity Falls does it too, but it's been going on for a while before that show. It's just that Gravity Falls brings it up to eleven. For Your Ice Only was pretty funny; although I could do without the code teal reference. The Phineas stunt was so awesome that the Mighty Ducks should hang their heads in shame. Even the live action version! You couldn't make a better Fist Of The North Star-equse sport even if I could try. It was great and Candace getting a match penalty from Luc Robitaille was awesome, even if Luc didn't do all that much, character wise. This is one of the few times where the Doofen/Perry fight was boring and bland compared to other episode, so good work from the kids on this one. So...
Thumbs in the middle for both shorts and I'll see you all next time.