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Fanboy & Chum Chum: Fanboy/Wizboy/Pick A Nose

Reviewed: 01/24/2012

Oh..My...Jonas...


I say "disappointing" because I've been trying to get my work submitted to an animation studio, mostly action-adventure fantasy projects, and knowing a show about two disgusting children with irritating voices and ADHD was approved and *brought to life* actually makes me feel worthless. Apparently this generation of children deserve only loud in-your-face Spongebob Squarepants clones. - stcarnard5, IMDB review, September 24th, 2010.

Yes folks; I have hit rock bottom again. I thought The Cramp Twins was the worst animated series in history. With it's sheer earnest gall and psychotic purple skinned brother to the point where even Seth Macfarlane couldn't touch it in sheer crapiness; I felt that the animated world was safe and sound......

..and then the unthinkable happened. Fanboy & Chum Chum got approved in 2009 and it made Butt Ugly Martians look like a **** classic. In fact; part of the blame for this show might be due to the existence of Butt Ugly Martians and Mega Babies in that the writers seriously thought throwing as much toilet and random humor without any meaning nor context would get the show over. Funny enough; considering that it won 3 Emmies and nonimated for six other awards and is in it's second season already speaks volumes for the show in general. Fanboy & Chum Chum started off as a Random! Cartoon pilot in 2007; and then it got green lighted as a show. This is not unusual since Fairly Odd Parents, Adventure Time With Finn and Jake, My Life As A Teenage Robot and Chalkzone all started out as either Random! Cartoons, or Oh Yeah! Cartoons. Fairly OddParents of course being the most notable (and probably the most annoying) since it lasted almost ten seasons and is almost on level to Spongebob Squarepants in that it gets more and more absurd as the show progresses. Although at least FOP tried to do something new with the godchild angle; as much as it killed Wanda's creditability as a character. You know my feelings about FOP and Chalkzone; the others are merely all right.

Fanboy & Chum Chum some people say cannot be heckled properly. I beg to differ because I believe that those who claim that just don't try hard enough. This show is so damn earnest that I believe it's too easy of a target to mock. It looks so demented that it might just be the Ed Wood of cartooning; except that The Mighty Hercules and Rocket Robin Hood are more accurate since they were done on a shoe string budget. Before we begin the series proper; I mentioned earlier that the cartoon is based on a short created for Random! Cartoons back in 2009. Well; I have included the pilot Fanboy itself as a bonus. This should be very short since it's only about eight minutes long including opening and credits. Since I wrote the pilot rant after ranting on the first two shorts; you may want to skip and get to Wizboy since my commentary begins there. Well; enough of the history; let's begin the mocking of perhaps the worst cartoon in existence shall we...?


Opening Moment #1: The opening title sequence is actually quite awesome and has almost that 3DS effect in it with the buildings and everything. The short is created by Eric Robles and directed by Shaun Cashman. Eric started with Toonsylvania in 1998 and then it was Evil Con Carne, Grim & Evil, The X's, Ni Hao Kai-Lan and a number of Unstable Fable short films. Shaun has a really weird resume as he has most of the usual cartoons including The Simpsons and King of the Hill; but started in 1987 with the movie Psychos In Love, Galactic Gigolo and Cemetery High which involves school girls going on a killing spree to rid the world of scumbag men. I'm not going to crack the obvious joke here for obvious reasons. I'll leave that as an exercise to the reader.

Fanboy: So we begin with a badly animated commercial for Fanman (Jeff Bennett, The announcer is Don LaFontaine who passed away in 2008) as he breaks through the ceiling of a living room of bored children. Geez; when television bores you; you know that it's on it's way out. Jackhammer background ensues as he shills Frosty Freezie Freeze which predictably the kids salavate for. Don't sip too fast; or you'll get the ice cream headache that goes with these drinks. And the girl sneezes and turns his brother into an really sharp ice tomb. Ummm; yeah whatever guys. So we zoom out to CGI world at the STORE OF DOOM as a guy wearing a FFF uniform known as Lenny (which was lifted from the Tasty Paste episode in Quack Pack which is a really bad combo in my view) turning off the television wondering who buys this crap; and then the store doors fling wide out and it's Lameboy & Slightly Dumb Dumb (since Nancy Cartwright is voicing here) to the rescue to give this store clerk some coin. Strangely enough; Fanboy is wearing silver for this pilot and not wearing his underwear on top of it. So Fanboy is the classy one of the outfit in the pilot; while Chum Chum is the classy one in the cartoon. Although Fanboy wins by a mile here.

So we do some close up shots of the cardboard model setup as Fanboy goes all Batman on us. And we do the Batman scene changer of doom and then we do a running sequence with anime background as an announcer proclaims that they are Fanman's biggest fans and are always focused. Well; Fanboy is anyway as Chum Chum is distracted by the Frosty Ice Monster Bun Buns display which I saw in Wizboy. Okay; that is a neat ass joke. Oh and Chum Chum squeaks on the Bun Buns part. Fanboy's floating over breaks logic as usual as we hear the tape recorded sound of Jeff Bennett saying to him to get it now. Fanboy's expression is priceless and for all the wrong reasons as he notices Chum Chum isn't with him. Since Chum Chum is having a pig out on the Bun Buns. And I doubt Lenny will ever notice that Chum Chum is eating his profits and thus call the police. Fanboy goes over asking for answers and Chum Chum finds the OUT OF NOWHERE FFF cup and claims that he was looking for cups. Fanboy calls it great thinking and leaves. No really; I'm as SHOCKED as you are. Chum Chum curses the Bun Buns of course.

Batman parody scene changer of doom and Chum Chum runs in with the cup; but slips on the conveniently placed Bun Bun on the floor (how is THAT possible?) and Chum Chum does the E. Honda headbutt move from Street Fighter II right into Fanboy as we go all live action Batman (anyone who has seen a fight in the 1960's Batman live action television knows exactly what I mean). Chum Chum wakes up and it sucking out of the spout. EEEWWWWWWW! GET IT AWAY! GET IT AWAY! He farts; he blows up; Fanboy grabs him; Chum Chum blows away like a balloon losing air, etc. Good 3D flying view though as they run into the Bun Buns display with live action Batman effects. Fanboy and Chum Chum call it wicked. I do too; albeit for a very different context. Oh and Chum Chum's eyes cannot blink anymore which would have been funnier if they ever blinked in this short. So while the ADHD goofs laugh it up; the announcer points out that Bun Buns plus FFF equals Z-Grade Ice Berry Monster of Doom. The Ice Monster is the same guy who voiced Rock Callahan in Kick Buttowski; for the two of you who still care. Of  course; Fanboy & Chum Chum treat him like a jobber as Chum Chum licks the monster's right shoulder blade while Faboy licks the left. Apparently; there is a touch of paprika. I guess hot red pepper would make him into a monster heel instead of a monster jobber.

So the monster grabs them and does the FROST BREATH OF DEATH to face their faces in. HAHA! This short is a billion times better than their entire cartoon series already. The ADHD goofballs are completely clueless of course as they want him to do it again. He yells at them smashing the ice and wants to stomp their asses flat. They no sell of course and laugh in his face. Of course this leads somewhere because the Ice Monster's feet are completely deformed. So we do a scene changer as the ice monster and Fanboy exchange notes on the situation. Did not see that one coming at all as Chum Chum enters with the FFF cup filled with the FFF slurpee of doom and Fanboy and Chum Chum drink from it with Fanboy's face turning blue. EWWWW! GET HIM AWAY! GET HIM AWAY! So the monster wants some FFF and the ADHD goofballs don't know the meaning of the phrase: Share with the heel. No shock there since they have contempt with words and phrases they DO KNOW. Fanboy ponders it over and decides to help him if they become the super villain they always wanted. Oh; this should be fun to mock. The monster isn't amused; so Chum Chum continue to slurp away and finally the monster decides to accept the challenge.

So we see Fanboy announce that he challenges the monster to....wait for it....a Thumb War Wrestling match. Could be worse I guess. So the monster stammers and then shows off the SHARP ICE DAGGER THUMB OF DEATH to them as the goofs stammer back. Fanboy asks for Chum Chum's help; so CC slurps; turns blue faced and blows ice into Fanboy's hand to create the BLUE ICE THUMB OF DEATH. Fanboy calls for Fanman; Ice Monster skips the promo and IT IS ON BABEE! Fanboy's blitz move is absolutely hilarious; and for all the wrong reasons I might add. I'll let you figure out why as they clash (Batman effects again) and we thumb wrestle for a while. Ice monster pins Fanboy's thumb to the hand and the ice monster wins strangely enough. Fanboy calls it well played as the monster steals the FFF cup from Chum Chum and laughs in an evil way. He tries to slurp the cup; but there is nothing left in it. HA! Ice Monster then makes the fatal error all ice monsters really do in this situation; they get so angry that they heat up and the ice monster melts. I called that thirty seconds before it happened I should note. Fanboy proclaims that there is a lesson to be learned here which is sadly not to telegraph the obvious. It is that good beats evil and don't mix FFF with FBB's because things get messy. I like that second moral better by the way. Goofballs laugh and walk off to get some macaroni as we fade to black and then return as The End sticker in purple and gold is stamped on Chum Chum's ass with Fanboy grabbing him like a baby. Whatever. Also made in Hollywood USA which should get the moral guardians upset too. That ends the short at 7:00 aired. Better than it had any right to be. ** 1/2 (50%).

Opening Moment #2: Oh goody; the OPENING OF TORTURE AND SUFFERING! Okay; the opening is the usual silliness involving the main characters. However; the song is crappy beyond belief as it's sung completely off key. Intentional? Who knows. However; the lyrics are the real treat as they sing at a whopping 240 words per minute. Without the captions on one of the Yotube videos; I probably could only make out half of the song. So for your viewing hate; here are the lyrics in full:

Woahhh!
Here we go cause we're Fanboy Chum Chum!
A little coo-coo Fanboy Chum Chum!
It's amazing, totally crazy!
Fanboy Chum Chum doing what everyone says!

We're gonna scream at the top of our lungs!
We're gonna fly and have some fun!
We don't care if you stare!
I mean look at our underwear!

BRAIN-FREEEEEZZZZZZEEEE! Woahhhhhh! BRAIN-FREEZE!!
{Characters do some sheep sounds that make Spongebob Squarepants sound sane.}

We're gonna scream at the top of our lungs!
We're gonna fly and have some fun!
{Sheep baaing again.}
It's time for Fanboy & Chum Chum!

Ahh; that's nice.

Now imagine singing this off key and you'll see what an absolute train-wreck the song is. What I'm surprised at is that the underwear joke is quite classy compared to almost all of this series in general. I guess Fairly Oddparents is too complex for even small children nowadays. Anyhow; Fanboy (David Hornsby) reminds me of that guy from Tonic Trouble on the Nintendo 64 (with Chum Chum (Nika Futterman) looking like a toddler about three years too old to be role playing that role) and they look like Batman & Robin if Jerry Warren got his grubby hands on the license and Katherine Victor did wardrobe. By the way; Fred Seibert, Eric Robles (who created this show) and Steve Tompkins are the executive producers of this show which begs the question: Does playing it in reverse sound better? Answer: yes as one other Youtube posted in another video.

Wizboy: So we start in school as a boring adult reads off someone's homework; or crappy food list. It's really hard to tell. The boring adult is Mr. Mufflin (Jeff Glen Bennett) who is like Mr. Baldwin from Fish Hooks; only with the personality of a wooden desk and the charm of the Ebola virus. Plus; he look like a boring Humpty Dumpty. Mr. Baldwin at least had a baby inside his body and sounded charming with his voice. In other words; Baldwin at least is an adult you could cheer for once in a while even if you were a small child. This guy on the other hand is someone you don't want to cheer for at any cost; thus becoming an annoying heel by proxy. Chances are that was intentional too. So the lead characters debut by being as annoying as humanly possible. See they want to know what brand of grape juice goes with meatloaf. Here's an obvious question: What is the dress code of this school? I ask because if I saw someone wearing their underwear in front of a leotard; I would be asking what mental issues do these kids have. I mean something is terribly wrong here. Another Mr. Mufflin thought: Why not call him Mr. Muffin and have him cut a blueberry muffin on camera? It's a subtle fart joke and it stays within their mandate. OH NOES! Mr. MUFFIN JUST CUT A MUFFIN! YOU SICK FREAK! It's too easy; and it is pretty funny for that audience. Heck; it worked for Dave THE CLEANING BARBARIAN OF LAUGHS.

So Mufflin wants to retire if the Jerry Warren Batman and Robin get held back again (and with that hyperness; it will probably happen); we get our first OUT OF NOWHERE paper memo as Mufflin has to introduce a new student; who so happens to be Kyle (Jamie Kennedy); our heel. His appearance is actually pretty cool with the purple smoke and his promo; but that turns him into the default babyface by proxy. This is not a good sign for him and this cartoon since we saw this with Brad Buttowski; and Kick and Gunther acted like heels and they were supposed to be the babyfaces. I predict the same thing that happened to Brad will happen to Kyle. Anyhow; did I mention that he's a legit wizard? That inspires our ADHD goofballs as no one sells the entrance; even most of the kids. Charming as Mufflin decides to seat him with the ADHD goofballs in the back (after the goofball bang a desk; which shows that Fanboy is getting his brainfreezes from Larson & Gary) so Kyle declines and uses his magic to float a pencil from a fatass sitting in the front row and the fatass chases the pencil out of the classroom. (Note From The Future: The fatass was Chris Chuggy by the way. Yeah; later on you'll see why this was a bad idea.) Wow; Kyle despite being downright ugly is somewhat cool (I thank the really badly designed character designs for that; along with the Dreamcast-equse CGI) as he sits down.

So the ADHD Katherine Victor rejects slide their desks forward to counter. And then they they do a [] to sandwich Kyle. We find out that Kyle attended Milkweed Academy which is basically the poor man's Hogwarts. Trust me; this pop-culture referencing gets a lot more obvious in later episodes; almost to the point of directly lifting characters from movies. This is more of a parody. He was expelled for killing his teacher by slurping him which is downright heelish. He'll get his revenge (complete with contrived laugh and bad Z-Grade green lighting); and the goofballs laugh their ass off complete with Fanboy bonking his head on the desk in cartoonish fashion. I know this because of the bonking sound effect.

Anyhow; the ADHD fools claim that they love to play wizard and Kyle blows them off because he's a real wizard. Chum Chum blows up like a balloon as Kyle swats him away. Kyle tries to explain the difference; but it fails, so he turns into a badly designed CGI egg. Kyle tries to meditate; but the goofballs disturb him of course because they have mental issues and they are annoying little bastards. Fanboy asks about a toilet of course which means they went three minutes without resorting to toilet humor. We move on as apparently Kyle is back in the front row letting the pencil write itself the reports with his magic. That would certainly reduce carpet tunnel syndrome. Chum Chum plays with the light switch of course just to annoy everyone in the show and outside of it. Chum Chum claps some chalk to create dust and in comes Fanboy...ERRRR...I mean Wizboy. I don't know; I don't think it's a good idea to clap chalk dust into the air health wise. Wizboy is Fanboy with a worker's construction cone on his head and a fake white beard. Whatever guys and I think Kyle's groan agrees with me. I should point out that the Youtube videos are reversed to prevent copyright issues. Geez; why didn't the Disney Afternoon posters think of this? 

So Kyle dares them to prove that Fanboy is a legit wizard. So we see Fanboy & Chum Chum perform some simple street magic. Wizboy does the illusion devil's pose trick (extend one finger per hand and then slowly make it as if the finger moved to create a V sign for those who wonder). Kyle  no sells of course. So Wizboy offers Kyle a shot and extends his finger as he lifts directly from the annoying cousin from Rugrats (you know which one- the one who dressed like a baby and yelled: “Pull my finger.”) and Kyle naturally no sells. So Wizboy graphically farts in his face and calls it "magic". That's right folks; Brad Buttowski lifted this in Deadman's Drop and improved it. That's because farting in someone's face makes you a heel and Brad was supposed to be a heel. Wizboy is the defacto babyface here and it only makes me want to strangle him. If Kyle did it in response to Fanboy; this sequence would have worked. Do you get the logic of this world? I certainly wish I didn't.

Kyle is pissed and brings out his magic wand; only to have it stolen by Mr. Mufflin. WHAT?! Kyle was about to do you and the school a favor and you had to be unbiased all of a sudden? Stupid boring teacher. Kyle groans and we cut back to the school again and then to Kyle reading a magic book (called the Necronomicon - Jeff Bennett) on how to summon a gryphon to crush Fanboy. Thankfully; it's the goofball and not Nintendo fans (Note From The Future: If it was Nintendo fans; he would be a bigot see.). We are in the cafetera by the way as the ADHD goofs come in as Fanboy is hanging from his midsection over a wagon. I wish the noose was around his pencil neck. Fanboy calls him out on his reading and Kyle doesn't give an elf. Okay; that was pretty witty. Chum Chum uses the blue crayon to ruin the magic book of course. I can see why parents are deeply concerned about small children watching this show. Kyle is reading from a real wizards book; so Fanboy and Chum Chum show him the yellow book. Fanboy goes all biblical on us while sounding all materialistic in the process as he slams the book on pet stains. Kyle no sells so Fanboy steals the magic book and summons a gryphon as Kyle panics. No really; I'm as SHOCKED as you are. It doesn't work of course as Fanboy and Chum Chum do street trick #2 in floating the bottle of ketchup. It doesn't work of course (unless they were trying to be annoying of course) as Fanboy grabs the ketchup. Kyle floats up to show how it's really done which is a fatal error as Fanboy chants the words again and a gryphon shows up for real. Ummm; no, Kyle is face to face with Lupe (Candi Milo) who is a mean fatass girl with curly hair. Kyle is sitting on her lunch which explains the splat sound effect in the background. See; this makes no sense whatsoever. If they wanted to pay off the joke better; have Kyle float her pencil out of the classroom earlier; then the lunch splat is seen as less of an "accident". You can pretty much guess the result as Chum Chum tries to steal Kyle's chocolate pudding.

So we head outside as Kyle is covered in pizza and has a black eye. We then see Lameboy & Dumb Dumb doing more bad antics and Kyle is pissed off. Kyle wants to challenge Fanboy to a Wizard Off which Fanboy repeats. If you want to make me hate a character a lot; REPEATING THE SPOT is the worst way to do it. Kyle dares him to show up at the flag pole with his best trick and disappears in a cloud of smoke. Okay; so we head to the flag pole of the school as the fatass boy is still chasing the pencil up the flag pole. Fanboy get prepped by Chum Chum as Fanboy is going to let him win because he's new. If Fanboy wasn't less likable then even Kick Buttowski; then I would give a crap. Kyle goes through his cue cards as we get the underpants of 1000 screams which I would be fitting; but I doubt that will happen. We start with bad kung-fu moves (so much so Chum Chum has to help Fanboy with the Lotus position) as Kyle dares him to use his magic. More melodramatics as Kyle blows him off for insipidity. That's pretty generous o' wise one. So Kyle literally pulls his finger right out of the socket and Chum Chum faints dead away. Like I'm suppose to cringe on that spot? Word of advice: Do it without the glove; then it's cringe worthy. Otherwise; it's a BS&P spot if i ever saw one. Fanboy revives Chum Chum with a muffin (don't ask me what flavor it is? Other than it's not grape and thus fails to pay off the joke from the beginning of the episode. Note From The Future: It's Frosty Bun-Buns as per in the pilot. And it still doesn't pay off the grape joke.) and Kyle has had enough of this silliness as he goes for the blue fireballs; and then the gryphon comes OUT OF NOWHERE and whisks Kyle away. See; I was right originally. I AM SO SMART! I AM SO SMART! SMRT! I MEAN SMART! Chum Chum stops biting Fanboy and they walk away wanting to play wizard with him tomorrow. Naturally; Kyle hates that and that ends the short at 10:47. Kyle was okay; but everything else pretty much is crappy. -* (-20%).

Pick A Nose: We begin this one with a sunrise shot (which looks more like a sunset shot) as we head to Fanboy & Chum Chum's residence. I'm guessing Fanboy's last name is Chum. Their house is downright odd as they have action figure alarm clocks. Did I mention that the alarm clocks talk and dance as the goofballs jump in midair because it's Class Picture Day. In other words; Bea Stays in The Picture. We get the dueling shower montage with techno music that makes Paul Hayman's redubbing of ECW home videos sound classy. Yes; they shower in their leotards and underwear, why do you ask? They use rolling pins to straighten their hair. Scene changer and both goofballs critique their outfits. Geez; this is so perverse and surreal for some reason that I cannot put my thumb on. Oh wait; it's Fanboy stealing Chum Chum's nose. Oh and he's wearing it because Chum Chum's nose is better for the picture. So after some silliness; Fanboy decides they should wear their noses for picture day. After all; it makes head explode as seen in the dream sequence. Actually; they make heads explode but it's not the noses dude. They shalt rule the school as they kick the door open to their room and no one gives a crap. Fanboy annoys Francine (a brown haired diva - Candi Milo) who looks like she is a modern version of Zelda. That goes "nose"where so to speak as does Fanboys jokes at the desk. Then they annoy a black haired girl known as Nancy Pancy (Kari Wahlgren or Nika Futterman depending on the shorts)  and now Chum Chum is pissed off because Fanboy called him a pig. Considering that Chum Chum's belly; Fanboy has a point there. Chum Chum wants his nose back because Fanboy was being mean. Like I'm supposed to buy that Chum Chum just grew a brain there guys. Fanboy no sells because they had an agreement and of course Chum Chum does not get the meaning of the word contract. Then again; they don't know the meaning of most words and the other ones they do know they have contempt for.

Chum Chum gets mad and his noise somehow bounces off the walls and back on his nose which Fanboy calls awesome. Probably in the same sense as hoping that they provide ice cream at the blood bank because that's awesome. Sorry Canadian Blood Services; you are the ones who did that ad on the buses using the stereotype of a woman having ice cream and you were RIGHT THERE waiting to be targeted. We do it again and Mr. Mufflin's cup of coffee springs two leaks and drops into a fish tank and gets eaten by a yellow fish. The fish spits it out and it destroys the ceiling lights in a spark. Fanboy is impressed and tries to sneeze; but he sneezes boogers on himself. Well; we went nearly three minutes without a bodily fluids joke; so there you go. And Fanboy got a cold of course as he sneezes like crazy. Well; this is a gross out show; so it's expected. Too bad; it's too random to be effective as comedy. So we head to the lunch room; as Chum Chum does some magic tricks with Fanboy's stolen nose. Then it's table tennis with Nancy using the nose. Then he jackhammers a statue out of marble which looks quite naked. Then he uses it as a jet-pack much to the annoyance of Fanboy. Chum Chum bought Fanboy nasal spray and gives him three gold coins as change. Then Chum Chum flies away and we return to the lunch room as Chum Chum has his tray of lunch and balances it on his nose. Fanboy is getting sicker and sicker (which is OUT OF NOWHERE I might add) as he's eating a bowl of soup. Fanboy wants to weasel out of the deal; but Chum Chum finally gets what a contract is and blows whip cream out of his nose. Seriously; that is what he does. And he adds a cherry (blown from his nose of course); and his nose is a tape player. Yes; this is seriously overbooked now. Oh and it doubles as a VR device. Fanboy accepts it because it's way better this way. Suuuurrreee Fanboy, sure.

Chum Chum dares him as Fanboy brings out of the OUT OF NOWHERE violin and plays it badly with his nose. It sounds no worse if he played it normally. Chum Chum leaves and Fanboy sneezes his brain out. Well; almost anyway. Oh and Chum Chum's nose also comes with tissues. Yes; this makes no sense whatsoever and this is just one Spongebob Trick after another with no build up or context to it. It's just one sight gag after another. So we head to the computer room as Nancy, and two other girls as Chum Chum plays the flute with his nose. And he does a decent job of it too. We hear the intercom as it's Fanboy in a girly voice asking Chum Chum to report to the school nurse. I think we all know where this is going now. So Chum Chum teleports to outside the door and heads inside the nurse's room and we clearly see that it's Fanboy dressed up as a nurse. And he's washing his gloves which is completely out of character for this cartoon. Now you would think that the purple mask the nurse is wearing would clearly give away Fanboy; but Chum Chum's IQ is less than 7 and for him it's time to sell. Fanboy thinks Chum Chum has nose lice; which is actually a real medical condition believe it or not. Chum Chum sits on the table and Fanboy has the nose clippers as he is going to pick Chum Chum's nose. Say what you want about how disgusting this is; but they did pay off the title of this short. You have to admit that. Sadly; Fanboy sneezes and blows his cover. HA! Chum Chum thinks Fanboy was trying to steal his nose all these years (illogical; but whatever) and the chase is on as Chum Chum picks his flute from his nose. It doubles as nunchuks by the way as we get the thrilling battle. I really don't give a crap who wins; I hope they both kill each other even though I know that won't happen. Chum Chum trips Fanboy with the flute (after Fanboy does the crappiest running I have ever seen. Note From The Future: It's the same running sequence from the pilot in case you were wondering. And it still cracks me up for all the wrong reasons. ) and Chum Chum walks off as Fanboy literally hits the wall backwards.

Fanboy demands the nose back and Chum Chum nose sells....ERRRR....I mean no sells; until Fanboy is left with nose choice and both of them laugh. Fanboy decides that he'll use Chum Chum's nose against him and runs out to meet Lupe in the hallway. Chum Chum panics of course as Fanboy wants to borrow Lupe's gym bag and stuffs his nose into the crap of the bag. Chum Chum oversells it. It doesn't make any sense. I would have sneezed boogers and then blame it on Chum Chum so Chum Chum gets his ass kicked by Lupe. After all; his nose is the one with the cold in it. That makes sense and pays off the joke. This is random and makes no sense. Chum Chum bails and talks to the conveniently place Mr. Mufflin and asks him to scratch his nose with his stinky foot. And that's exactly what Mr. Mufflin does. What the hell? Why not Nancy Pansy doing this since she's friends with Chum Chum at least? How random can you get? Chum Chum thinks he has won; so Fanboy brings out the OUT OF NOWHERE toilet. That is not contrived in the very least; no siree. He stuffs his head in the bowl upside down (illogical again) and Chum Chum vomits in a trash bucket (thankfully we don't see the contents; although at this point, it doesn't matter). Fanboy thinks he has had enough and Chum Chum seemly pops his nose and then puts it near his ass and farts on it. Fanboy is repulsed by it (too late; you already did this to us at the beginning of the opening dude) and both ADHD goofs find Chris Chuggy (Eric Robles) who happens to stink like mad; shaped like a jellybean and has a fetish for sounding like an adult in the Peanut animated productions. Both goofs get inspired and they trade sniffs to try to out gross each other. Wow; we have surpassed even Ren & Stimpy's Adult Party Cartoon for the most gross out jokes for the least amount of plot and storyline. This goes on for a while and Chris is clean as a whistle.

Chris is giddy as he leave and neither will surrender so Fanboy steals the Rock's promo and heads into the lunch room. Geez; someone was playing Burlow from Vanguard Bandits I see. Chum Chum is not amused and runs in as Fanboy is near the GREEN COOKING STOVE OF DEATH as Fanboy threatens to dunk it into the toxic oil. Go ahead; you guys are full fledged heels in this world and are celebrated like babyfaces. Sadly; the Lunch Lady Cram arrives and throws the nose into the fryer as both goofs panics with red jackhammered background. Wow; it took two shorts just to get to this point. Chum Chum tries to go in; but Fanboy stops him because that wasn't his real nose as he reveals in the CHEST OF DEMONS Chum Chum's real nose. WHAT THE HELL?! Great way to make Chum Chum look like a bigger jerk than he already was Fanboy. Some friend you are. They exchange noses as the intercom reveals that it's time for class pictures. Fanboy and Chum Chum embrace and we do a flash and see the picture as everyone in the picture wants to get the hell away from Fanboy & Chum Chum. And the seagulls. Funny since half of them were part of all this nonsense of them getting dirty in the first place. We zoom out to see Fanboy and Chum Chum calling it the best picture ever. Whatever guys. They also scratch and sniff the picture and the results are predictable as hell. They are rendered to skull heads and that ends the short at 10:49. What a load of horse crap. -*** 3/4 (-75%).


THE REVIEW LINE

Wow; this took a lot longer than I thought it would because even I was repulsed by some of the antics. Wizboy was crap; but Kyle was a glimmer of hope that got buried easily in terrible dialog; silly antics and crappy fart jokes. Luckly; the finish wasn't too bad. Pick A Nose makes even the worst Quack Pack episode feel like merely a DUD and unlike Ducks By Nature; this was written with purpose. The plot line was almost non-existent; and it was basically Fanboy and Chum Chum trying to out gross each other for seven or eight minutes with spots that made no sense and no sense of a payoff. The finish made no sense and it made both Fanboy and Chum Chum; the defacto babyfaces even more unlikable then before they started. So it's two easy thumbs down in hell for those two shorts.

If only the series was more like the pilot of Fanboy & Chum Chum because it can be middling to good when you axe most of the bodily fluid jokes; actually have most of the episode go somewhere, have a good finish and have a predictable; but sensial ending? This pilot beats anything the actual cartoon series these two had by a country mile. Sure; it's no Ren & Stimpy, but it works as a children's show and Fanboy & Chum Chum are a lot less annoying and in Fanboy's case, more classier. The animation is B-grade stuff; but who cares. It's certainly more creative than the actual show itself. So overall; not bad and I enjoyed it. There are other pilots from Random! Cartoons like My Neighbour Is A Teenage Robot and even the Fairly Oddparents pilot. Maybe I'll do Q&D's for them in the near future. Sadly; Fanboy & Chum Chum actually gets a lot worse as time goes on. We have the most unbearable hippie in history who uses human property as digital pets. A janitor who is lifted from the Emperor Strikes Back. Then there's the chicken pox episode which is quite insipid and offensive. A bully who bumps badly...and much much less. Really; if you like Z-Grade movies; this show is for you. It is possible to mock it properly; if you have the guts and imagination to do it. Otherwise; if you want random humor and jackhammering; watch Fairly Oddparents and Spongebob instead...even the newer episodes aren't half as bad as this show. So....

Thumbs in the middle for Fanboy; thumbs way down in hell for Wizboy and Pick a Nose and I'll see you all next time.

 

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