Return to 50 Webs

Disclaimer#1: All images, characters and material is (C) 1990/1991 Walt Disney Company and is being used without permission. The webmaster has made sure that no money was made in the creation of this web page and that all material used here is used with the up most affection and respect to the Walt Disney Company and the Tale Spin Team.

Disclaimer#2:The views expressed here are solely the views of the webmaster and no one else. The webmaster has no intentions to change anyone's minds about a particular subject and respects the views of the viewers. Comments about this and other editorial can be E-Mail at gweagle@eastlink.ca or signing the Cloudkicker guest book.

Hey Duggee Series Three #1 Rant

Reviewed: 08/12/2026

Anyone? Isn't It Time For... DUGGEE~!

Well, my hunt for some perverse entertainment struck again thanks to Family Junior up here in Canada. I had considered revewing "The Fabulous Show with Fay and Fluffy", but the cross-dressing angle is just there and it's just a storytime segment show for the most part. It's a fun show, but it isn't qualified to be an Easter Sadism show. You need perserve, creative entertainment, where the creators just don't give an elf. That's when I saw our following subject from the UK, only this time it's a BBC show. This show is an awesome fun mess of an episode that intentionally is trying to get onto the trainwreck scale. Welcome to the Rant Shack, Hey Duggee! Just watching this show made me giggle in an amusing way because the characters and everyone making the show is fully committed to make this story stand out. Hey Duggee started out in 2014 as part of a Christmas special for the BBC and then was made into a show. The premise according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!):

The programme's characters are talking anthropomorphic animals, with Duggee communicating in woofs. The episodes are based around The Squirrel Club, an activity club for children that Duggee leads. The children – the club's Squirrels – take part in all kinds of activities, have adventures and earn badges for their accomplishments. Each episode shows the Squirrels completing an activity or adventure relating to a badge that they earn at the end of each episode. There is no set formula for every episode, with many referencing or parodying pop culture.

I disagree with the last sentence as there is a sort of set formula to the episodes, but they often would go off-script in certain ways. For example, there are always at least FIVE opening sequences in the series, each assigned depending on the Squirrel member. Like Peppa Pig, the endings are sometimes different, although more visual than audio this time around. The finishing sequences are mostly similar, but the middle is clearly like a Peppa Pig episode even with the structure of the stakes being exactly the same in all episodes: The Squirrels do stuff to earn badges. Then you have the narrator who is voiced by Alexander Armstrong, the voice of Captain Dog, who talks to Duggee, despite Duggee being a full on anthro dog with clothes on, doing human things, but talks literally like a real dog. It's Koi Fish from Fish Hooks all over again, and yes; everyone in the show somehow understands him. To be fair, at least it's not Molang where every character does the Duggee/Koi Fish speaking and you have zero way of understanding what the hell they are saying regardless of language. I've been wanting to review a bit of this show since it looks perversely entertaining to me and finding episodes on Family Junior is easy, but those episodes are more recent. I want to do the early episodes and finding them is another matter. It's not as easy as Peppa Pig, let me tell you. The episode titles speak for themselves, except for the pilot episode "Chop! Chop!" which I couldn't find even partial footage of it. Believe it or not, there were supposed to be SIX Squirrels in the group, but that got cut down. Also, the hippo Squirrel was originally supposed to be an anthro pig. I wonder who was responsible for rejecting that one?! Anyhow, this should be a fun ride. How do these episodes fare?! Let's rant on shall we..?!

All episodes are directed by Grant Orchard. The Being Quiet Badge and The Pen Pal Badge are written by Jo Clegg. The Duck Badge is written by Julia Kent. The Tooth Brushing and The Camouflage Badge are written by Sam Morrison. The Get Indoors Badge and The Big Day Out Badge are written by James Henry while The Day Off Badge is written by Phillip Warner. I'm not going to do tributes here. The animation is done by Studio AKA.

Opening Moment #1: This opening features Roly stalking blue bird behind a bush and the narrator asks Roly. Roly cannot resist and yells "DUGGEE~!" before running off. This is not the disturbing moment I was talking about, but we are getting there with this character. By the way, the blue bird somehow teleported to the trees during this sequence. SUZY SHEEP~?! Also, Delta Frog takes the bus as well. The title card features a circular badge of a mouth being censored. Also of note: Tag and Norrie have new voices as Tag is now voiced by Ollie Chequer and Norrie is now voiced by Bella Green.

The Being Quiet Badge: Short opens outside of a workshop with Duggee and the kids in work gear, which makes Betty look like a pirate. The Delta Chickens make their first contracted appearance in Series Three as the narrator calls this the annual clean up. Duggee opens the workshop and is overloaded that it threatens to spill out into the outside, so Duggee is forced to shut the door as one object bounces out. The narrator states that maybe they should do this next year. The object that bounced out is pointed out by Betty, as Duggee picks it up and reads it. It has sticky notes inside the pages as Duggee gasps because according to the narrator, Duggee has a great grandmother and this is her journal. The narrator claims that this is an exciting discovery as the kids ask why in unison right at the hard camera, that made me chuckle. Duggee shows off the pages and images of his grandmama to the narrator as the narrator explains that she was a famous explorer, as Tag wonders what she was doing mimicking Duggee in The Birdwatching Badge and the narrator claims that she was spotting a Snard. Yes, they have gone from birdwatching to birdspotting. Did Peppa Pig threaten to sue this show for copyright infringement for calling it the Birdspotting Badge or something?! Happy asks the obvious question about this and we don't know according to the narrator, other than that it was a shy creature, so shy that it has not been seen properly yet. Most of the composite sketches of the Snard in the book are so absurd, even the composite sketches on Forensic Files II would laugh in their faces seeing these. The narrator also claims that the Snard doesn't like noise, so it hates Roly already. Considering that there is an orange feather in the pages with the sketches, I'm deducing it's a bird. I don't think it's shy, I think it has smarten up to Roly having a bloodlust for them birds! The kids ask if great Grandmama has seen the Snard and the narrator checks out the pages of the book. Yes, Grandmama can speak English, but Duggee speaks in woofs. They got to do the angle on why Duggee refuses to speak English, that would be money. Anyhow, Grandmama is inside a giant footprint and the size of the footprint tells me that the thing is related to Hennie it seems. We get a sequence of events of Grandmama searching for The Snard though sand, water, mud and snow. Yes, she sells the cold by chattering her teeth and is better at selling than the characters of Peppa Pig in Peppa Pig Around The World when Peppa met Suzy at the South Pole. She actually finds the Snard, which contains a lot of fur and has a flower on it's back in the giant meadow. Grandmama teases taking a picture with a camera from the 1930's, but she sneezes and this chases the Snard away. Grandmama suggest to any future Snard spotters to be quiet and then sneezes again. No wonder the Snard has not appeared around these parts, it's all ROLY's fault!

The kids are impressed by this so much that they want to find this thing, Duggee approves of this, and the kids cheer so loudly that the entire scene shakes. Duggee then puts the hand out to signal that they must be very, very quiet. I would have loved to hear the "Be very, very quiet; I'm hunting Snards", ala Elmer Fudd being said in woofs, also buys! The narrator tells them to be quiet and Roly screams because he's loud and proud like a blood-thirsty luster of birds! Duggee is appalled by this, so he points to his chest to show the teleporting out of nowhere badge. Duggee decides to show off the basics by huffing and then swallowing to show that he was going to speak, but didn't according to the narrator. I am confident that Norrie, Betty, Happy and even Tag can do this, I have zero confidence in Roly because that kills Roly's gimmick. Tag tries and yells yes a lot quieter than Roly, but it's not enough. Tag does the tech and gets it right on the second try, though. Then I realize that this lesson is about non-verbal cues as a form of communication, which is something everyone should learn. Many times more often than not, how they say and how they act during speaking can tell a more accurate story than words and meanings alone. Duggee is showing off a smile, because he's pleased with them being quiet. The narrator then asks the kids to speak without words. Norrie shivers to indicate that she is cold, which is what Grandmama did during the flashback sequence! Nice on Norrie, nice one. Betty is blowing her hands to indicate that she is warm. Sadly, the sound effects are being too loud to make this effective in terms of quietness. Sometimes non-verbal cues can be noisey. Happy is jumping up and down in excitement, the sound effects are runining the quietness though. Happy is also happy with glee. Tag is thinking and the narrator thinks that he is thinking. I sound like I'm watching Mick Foley doing his doppelganger spot with Cactus Jack, Dude Love and Mankind again. Roly claims that he will be quiet by zipping his lips. 2:1 odds that he breaks his word by the five minute mark or sooner. The narrator asks if they are ready and everyone nods as we get the first badge scene changer of Series Three with Duggee's face making more noise than anyone in the previous scene combined. You know, if they want to make this angle work better, maybe don't play music in the next scene when Duggee and the kids go hiking in the valley. There are backpacks, green coverings and Happy is wearing a red cap for no reason. Roly spots a red bird and teases breaking his word ten seconds into this hike. Thankfully, Duggee butts in to cut him off. Basically, they take the same route Grandmama took because we have to return to the scene of crime, you see. This makes sense, actually since that is where you can get your first lead of finding this Snard.

The green flies show up, and one will be Tag's friend in future. Happy is holding the book high in the air for no reason. I have no clue why they brought the book with them, it's stupid. We go through the purple forest as sunset is apporaching as Betty is showing off the book to a mouse, the mouse squeaks and Betty blows it off for being too loud. This was dumb. More searching makes Gregory Weagle something something as Duggee is reading the book and then invokes the LEGAL HAND OF GOD to reveal that they are in the moss valley where Grandmama last saw the Snard. Apparently, we discover why she sneezed the last time: There is pollen floating up into the sky and this is causing Norrie to tease sneezing, and everyone starting shushing each other for awhile, all while Duggee is using the binoculars to try to spot the Snard, which clearly is not here. Sadly, the stomach growling kills the scene as the narrator admits that everyone is hungry and it's time for eating. Yes, for snacks; Duggee made some pineapple bread which is right out of the backpack. Ooookkkkkaaayyy, then. Duggee made more noise finding the bread than the shushing and stomach growling combined, I should note. The bread somehow makes green/white/brown colored waves of smell. The smell trails to a cave and someone in the dark cave smells it. Duggee and the kids are eating and then out comes orange/pink spotted monster with pipes and funnels as ears, a flower on top of the head, and cyan blue rubber hose legs and feet. Yup, that is the Snard, so it's not related to Hennie in any way. It hates noise, but that means nothing because it loves pineapple bread. So much that it makes such noise, no one can get a word in edgewise, thus being quiet is pointless now since the Snard is louder than everyone, and it don't care because it loves pineapple bread. Since it's on-screen as well, no need to document it either. Duggee bails on all fours and returns with the badge as the narrator is screaming over the Snard. The kids all cheer as the horns honk and that's enough for the Snard to bail after all the noise it made in the last thirty seconds or so. Here come the parents in their vehicles, so it's time for the DUGGEE HUG~! The kids bail and show off the badge to their parent, making sure to be quiet when saying the title of the badge, that was funny. Tag then points out that they spotted the Snard, but it's gone as Duggee turns around and it's gone. Sad them! Tag's Mum and Norrie's Dad act scarcastically that they did, even though we have proof via this video that they did. The parents leave with the kids in their vehicles as Duggee waves goodbye. The narrator asks if this was fun, and then the Snard pops out a mountain, howling and farting. The narrator and Duggee laugh to end the episode at 6:45. This was a fun episode and nothing more. *** 1/4 (65%).

Opening Moment #2: This opening features Norrie giving a flytrap plant drops of water from a watering can. Norrie puts down the watering can before yelling "DUGGEE~!" and running off. The title card is a oval racing type badge with yellow ducks against a blue background with red trim.

The Duck Badge: Short opens outside the barn on a wet and windy day as the kids run in wearing rain gear that looks too close to sucba gear. Betty's looks like a diving helmet in green colors. Roly has an umbrella on his head for no reason other than to be Roly. Duggee is wearing a red rain coat, with green boots and matching green rain hat. The kids are running around the barn not caring what the narrator says and Duggee don't care either as Happy is doing his gimmick because it's cool like Peppa Pig's gimmick. Roly is wearing an umbrella on his head, I'm not joking on the closeup shot in case anyone thought I was a couple of sentences ago. Norrie is dressed up like a yellow duck as she splashes into either the biggest puddle ever, or into the pond. Then a yellow duckling arrives from the east, and hugs Norrie! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am so laughing at her and happy for her at the same time. My ribs are tickled and my heart just melted at the same time. There is a bigger story to this episode and I'll bring it up later on in the rant. Thunderclaps ensue as the kids think it's getting too wet. I would say getting two dangerous since thunderbolts are clapping and we must get inside. Everyone runs stage left in a panic, and so does the yellow duckling as we get the badge scene changer of rain in the background, with an umbrella with Duggee's face being rotated. Head inside as Duggee is wiping himself of the water, and the kids are getting their cues from the narrator because they are looking directly at the hard camera. The narrator cuts a promo about torrental rain. Duggee teases a response, and then gets cut off by a knock on the door. Duggee foolishly opens the door and it reveals the yellow duckling, quacking like Donald Duck on speed. The duckling hugs Norrie's leg and Betty deduces that the duckling thinks Norrie is it's mummy. I howled with laughter because Norrie is out of her rain gear and this duckling still thinks Norrie's her mum. Yes, the duckling didn't care about the rain gear, it was the face that convinced thee. That was funny. Then it gets funnier: There's another knock on the door, Duggee answers it to reveal no less than 45 ducklings! All of them believing that Norrie is her mum, despite the fact that the duckling who hugged Norrie twice earlier NEVER communicated this to the others. This is a SUZY SHEEP~ moment if I ever saw one. These duckling of telepathic! Also funny.

Duggee's face is like "Are you ducking kidding me?!". One of the duckling has green-rimmed glasses on when the ducklings come in, that was odd. The rest have no whites in their eyes, also weird. Exchanging notes in Duckeese I might add, which is in quacks; and somehow the kids don't understand what they are saying. SUZY SHEEP~?! The duckling calls Norrie "mama", this leads to Norrie looking confused with hearts and a purple background ensuing complete with harp music. There are pink stars to show off the pink heart balloon's of Norrie's face. Poor Norrie, the kindest kid in the show, is now about to be wrecked by a bunch of ducklings and I'm here for all of this. All the ducklings yells "mummy" and then proceed to bury Norrie in a duckling tomb. The fact that Betty is at first shocked and then smiling, just makes Norrie look like the GEEK OF THE WEEK~! The ducklings take over the clubhouse as clown music ensues and Tag asks how many?! I ask "Who cares?! I don't.".One of the ducklings becomes the puppet-in-the box, that was funny. Would have been funnier if the "puppet-in-the-box" music from Peppa Pig was playing, but that isn't allowed for obvious reasons. Betty asks where they sleep as one of the ducklings is painting, three others are dunking into paint cans, becoming different colors. Happy asks what they eat as two of them are pecking his feet, as if the ducklings are bootlickers. Nah, I'm not going to do my usual sermon here involving Judas, because I have more important things to do, like completing this review. Roly asks where is the real mummy and no one knows as Norrie proclaims that she is not their mummy. Too late, these ducklings are gaslit and I betcha Norrie is going to change her rain gear to not look like a yellow duck when this episode is over with. The narrator calls this a good question on Roly's part as one of the ducklings is parachuting in the clubhouse. Betty proclaims that they should look for their real mummy and Happy asks "how?". Duggee then points to his chest to reveal the badge and offers to help as the kids all cheer.

This leads to the second badge scene changer on a pond with a duckling swimming around a lilypad with Duggee's face on it. Okay, this has been funny, but it's going to get even more absurd. We return to a stage with Duggee dressed up as a police commander shuffling papers. There is a projection screen on stage with a golden badge with a Acron Duggee face on it. Yes folks, this show is treating this as a "Missing Persons" report! WHAT?! The duckling is on stage waddling away not caring because in it's eyes, Norrie is the mother. This is turning into a domestic situation now and that always gets ugly. The kids are sitting on stools (NOT THOSE ONES!) as Roly is eating a donut and it might be the regular sized version of the dounut he got suckered in by the birds in The Scarecrow Badge. Betty has a pen and notepad ready, Happy is having a mug of fruit tea and one of the ducklings refuse to leave Norrie's head. Oh, and the glasses wearing duckling is channeling Betty's gimmick of reading, that was funny. The red painted duckling is making a mess and even I don't care. The scene involves Duggee pushing a button to show off pictures while the narrator asks the kids questions about ducklings. The blue painted duckling shows up on stage as one of them is driving a police toy car while acting like a police car, bumping into Roly's stool. Sadly, none of the duckling give a ticket to the stool to prove that this show would rip off Officer Grey Squirrel's gimmick from Peppa Pig. Ducklings are around ten centimeters tall. Why are they using metric here, when they have used the imperial system for kilometers?! SUZY SHEEP~?! Peppa Pig can get away with imperial since it is a huge show in the USA, but Hey Duggee doesn't have that excuse going for them. Tag asks how big is ten centimeters in a whisper yell. He has not been debriefed from the Being Quiet Badge, I see. One of the baby ducks is on top of Betty's head with a stocking cap, so that duckling sees Betty as her aunt. Also funny.

Betty's answer is dumb by the way as the narrator has some clever clogs research to tell us. What is this research you might ask?! Adult ducks can grow up to forty centimeters. These duckling are so hellbent to stay with Norrie that they are obstructing justice and an investigation. Also funny. Tag asks the question and Betty's answer is more reasonable, but Enid looks more like 25 centimeters to me as one of the ducklings is swimming in Enid's water bowl. Yeah, these duckling are out of control. Betty than claims that it's sitting up. Sure Betty, sure. More like walking on it's hind paws. Using the forces of deducation, we finally get a composite sketch of the mother, who is in greyscale and looks like a mutant lab experiment using stock footage. The kids don't care, which shows that off-putting images do not affect them. The more off-putting part to me was one of the ducklings cosplaying a firefighter on a toy firetruck that is literally on fire! That disturbed me more than that image ever could. Sadly, it was less disturbing than Roly's bloodlust for them birds! Sadly, Tag has no leads and Duggee is not amused by this. The narrator decides to narrow it down on what ducklings like as they clearly love toys as we get duckling stomping on a toy cash register. One ducklling is jumping on a red stapler for fun, as Roly thinks it's stationary. Duggee woofs no on both counts. The ducklings have invaded a goldfish bowl and the fish's privacy as Happy at first yells "fish", and then recoils and says "water", and Duggee finally woofs that this is correct. Believe it or not, wild ducks do eat fish; so Happy is correct on both counts; but the later one is the answer Duggee is lookig for in context. One of the ducklings is wearing a green winter hat now as Duggee shows off a map of the property and there is only one location in the entire map that is water based: The pond. I betcha it takes three guesses to get it right. I check the video...After teasing, they get it right on the first try. I was wrong, let's move on. The narrator then proclaims that they have "quacked" this case wide open. Har, har!

Betty wants to get this case over with as we get badge scene changer #3 with a golden police badge with Duggee dressed up as an acorn agent. The rain has stopped as Norrie kicks the barn door open and marches the ducks to the lake. Betty brings out the megaphone as Duggee is directing traffic, the ducklings no sell this. So Roly screams "Move it!", the ducklings now move. The ducklings of course don't move due to Betty nor Duggee, but since Roly has a lust for them birds, the ducklings are smarten up to it and get out of there. Why doesn't this surprise me?! We will be there in Series Three, Episode Ten I should note, just as a lead for the infamous moment involving Roly and this angle in general. Tag counts that there are 100 ducklings that thought Norrie was their mom as Happy is giving the ducks booking names, even though only two of them are different overall as characters. Lots of walking hills as the ducklings are so stupid that they carry the bloodlusting bird brain on their shoulders. Roly, everyone. These ducklings are too stupid to live. They make it to the lake, Momma Duck is on the lake and notices the ducklings. 99 of the ducklings rush into the lake and reunite as duckling #100 does the DUCKY NORRIE HUG~! Ducky hug! Awesome! I should mention this now: Hey Duggee got a spin-off show similar to Peppa Pig Tales called "Hey Duggee's Squirrel Club" and episode #2 of that show featured an entire three minute episode called "Hey Quacky!", featuring Quacky and the ducklings! If I have time and find footage of it, I'll gladly review those shows over Peppa Pig Tales. Apparently, only 26 episodes have been released so far, but knowing wikias, it's probably more. We'll see. Anyhow, the duckling hops into the water to rejoin her mum and that is that as the narrator asks if the kids did well today. The ducks all quack in the pond, which I guess the answer was "yes". Duggee then rips the velcro off the uniform and presents the kids with his badge. The kids cheer as the parents arrive in their vehicles. DUGGEE HUG~! Duggee hug by a peace officer. The kids bail stage left to reveal the badge to their parents. The parents hug the kids in unison and then leave with the kids in their vehicles. The narrator asks if this was fun as one of the ducklings hops in, calls Duggee his papa, and Duggee is confused to end the episode at 6:45. The duckling sleeps on top of the doghouse at the end credits and this episode was awesome! **** (80%).

Opening Moment #3: This opening features Happy blowing bubbles in his glass of water with a red straw. The title card is a rectangle badge of a toothbursh against a green background with white/blue stitching.

The Tooth Brushing Badge: Short opens with the kids and Duggee marching along on a boring plain as the narrator states the obvious to us. Betty is looking at the hard camera so hard that she looks like she's sliding forward. Roly then stops and sniffs the yellow cloud, because it's foul! Everyone oversells the smell so much, I swear I am watching a brainrot in progress. Happy's eyes are watering, which is amusing since Happy loves water in storyline. Norrie then stops selling, coughs and finds the target near a tree. It's a lion in noble rich gear, because rich doods stink. You are underestimating the obvious there writer, although this is Duggee's world, so I suppose it's BS&P striking again. The lion speaks and addresses himself as Alan L'Odor, because his gimmick is that he has uncontrolled body odor. I do apologize to King Tiger for mixing up him and Alan in previous episode segments, I should note. He has at least three fake titles since King Tiger is the lord of this world and he did say "lord" at least once. I would like to say that he is a malevolant lord, but on the list of malevolants, he is extremely low on the list, and is dangerously close to benevolant. Alan and the kids exchange notes on the situation, with the kids coughing because Alan has extremely bad breath, so his body odor is localized. Alan explains that his bad breath is richly textured in aroma, thus showing that "one man's trash is another man's treasure" is a lie when it comes to stinky breath. You see, most people with bad breath are so used to it that they go nose blind. I know that they were selling a product, but it's sadly true. It's like being able to tickle other, but not yourself. The breath is so powerful that bluebird turns into muscle birds and drops sort of being tortured. Not even Roly has stooped to that low...yet. Alan calls his breath "dark and juicy" in terms of flavors, so "beer and cucumbers" is not his smell clearly. Mine is more "light and veggie". Alan also claims that it's muscular whaif, as blue bird looks like muscle. I'll be honest, even though his farts are not funny, Alan's description of his body odor deserves a chuckle at least.

Apparently, Alan's breath is a result of smoking, which they will not allow him to do on-screen for obvious reasons. I mention this because Alan calls it "smoky tart" and "arresting". Alan claims that he doesn't eat fruit, which to be honest, wouldn't mattered because fruit can cause bad breath as well. Alan opens his mouth to reveal his teeth and they look worse than mine inspite of the holes. Yeap, his teeth contains yellow smile and bits of food inside. Happy proclaims that he brushes his teeth to get rid of them and Alan scoffs at this. Well, he has a reputation to keep there, Happy. If he didn't have bad breath, his last name would have no meaning. Never mind that odor is just another word for smell, and there are smell that are acceptable. The current smell is not acceptable, though. Alan apparently has never brushed his teeth before, and even Tag is appalled by this. Alan basically says no and walks off as the kids start chasing him revealing the symptoms of this and Alan don't care at all. However, when the words "teeth will fall out" and Happy refers to his uncle "toothless Joe" eating soup and only soup. This is enough for Alan to reconsider because eating soup is dull, and all soup lovers are rightfully boycotting this show. Soups are as diverse as eating solid food, so sod off show! To make Alan look worse, he has to invoke toxic masculinity into this because he's the overlord of the Savanna. I wish King Tiger would run in and kick this fraud's ass right now, although that stinky breath might be an issue. Happy has no idea what Alan is saying and it's for the best, methinks. Norrie translates it into Alan is going to brush his teeth and Alan basically says yes. Apparently, toilet brush has to be BS&P'ed with the French term. Okay, good to know. Duggee woofs at least and points to his chest to reveal the badge as the kids jump up and down to cheer. Alan does nothing as we get the scene changer of doom and this one features a toothbrush with toothpaste squirted on to reveal a face of Delta Frog! That was weird. Anyhow, we return to the bathroom or a weird kitchen as Duggee is at the sink that looks like a glorifed bathtub with a red toothbrush, a green cup with a white star and a bottle of mouthwash.

Everyone has the same thing, except for the mouthwash because kids cannot use mouthwash, obviously. And Alan is a manchild, so he can't have it either. Basically we do the demonstration of wetting the brush, adding toothpaste to just the right amount and making it look like a palette swap of the Pepsi logo. How very nice, a product that has acid and sugar to decay your teeth, how very evil. Then we brush our teeth for two minutes at 3:47, which means if this were real time and the writer has a clue, this episode goes to the finish at 5:47, thus have fifteen seconds before the badge must be earned. Let's see if this show screws this up...First, the kids in boxes looking like 3D-model heads join Duggee in the brushing the teeth. On the right hand side on the bottom of the screen is a rainbow colored timer with Duggee's face on it. By the way, this feels like a Nintendo Switch 2 chat with a teeth brushing simulator, even though in storyline, the kids and Duggee are shoot brushing their teeth. Again, I'm talking it being real in the context of Duggee's world, not the real world, which we all know is not real in that context. Yup, it's time to hit the montage to kill time in this episode, but it actually makes sense with the storyline, so great! Norrie is brushing a crocodile's teeth and then Roly joins in the literal mouth of the crocodile. I think the birds were hoping the jaws snap on him, but no dice. Back to Duggee as we do a end credits scroll with pictures of toothbrushes, heads, toothpaste of Delta Frogs and more. Then the kids sing "The Toothbrush Song", which kind of contradicts the stips of brushing for two minutes straight. A lot of emojis as this is the weakest song of the trilogy. It doesn't have the europop amusment the Stick Song had, nor Mrs. Beaver's incredible singing chops with her lullaby song. This song is just okay in comparison. Happy looks like he's bouncing off the Pepsi logo, that was funny. They show the consequences of them as everyone is scared of Alan's bad breath and the animals all flee in terror. We scroll up to more animated emojis brushing teeth as the Naughty Mouse and Naughty Monkey are brushing teeth. When even those two heels get it, you suck Alan!

Delta Frog and Enid are also brushing their teeth. Sadly, Enid doesn't brush her teeth with her tail, that would have been funny. This song is also an excuse to get all the animals in for a cameo, so I won't post them here. I think this is the only time Ladybird has ever been happy. Back to Duggee resuming his brushing of the teeth as we repeat the scrolling and chrous. I love this segment, despite the okay music because it made sense and they were committed to actually brush their teeth for two minutes. Most shows never get the timing down in real time right, but this show got it perfectly here. By the way, Duggee's rainbow color timer face turns brown when the brushing is complete, I should note. The kids then do their spots, including Happy's Mum brushing in their bathroom! Betty is doing complex calculation while saying that it's not hard, that was funny. Tag is walking on the moon with a spacesuit, because we have to remind everyone how much Peppa Pig sucks. Roly screams in a mess of toothpaste, also funny. Then we get a closeup of Duggee's face as we scroll up for the final flourish as we end with the kids brushing their teeth at the sink as the timer finally expires at 5:47! Perfect, as it should be. Now spit! Those teeth are white now. The kids all drop their toothbrushes onto the cups as Alan is convinced and he's still brushing his teeth while talking. Brilliant! Sadly, Muscle Bird is still around as it lands on Alan's top hat. Alan's breath is so minty, he's going to blow snow. The narrator asks if the kids have done well today as Duggee returns with the badge. The kids all cheer as the parents arrive in their vehicles. Time for the DUGGEE HUG~! Duggee hug. The kids bail stage left to present the badge to their parents and the parents hug the kids. The parents and kid leave stage left in their vehicles as the narrator asks if this was fun. The music returns as Duggee is now dressed like Alan and Muscle Bird has a top hat on as they all tap dance to their doom! Muscle Bird looks like it knows Roly is going to bury him literally at this point. This ends the episode at 6:45 with the music extending to the end credits and Alan's mug appears below the voice talent for no reason. This was a really fun episode about toothbrushing, what more can I say?! *** 3/4 (75%).

Opening Moment #4: This opening features Betty drawing multiple pictures because she has at least four tentacles, you see. The title card is Duggee's face in full camouflage as a badge with green trim, as if Duggee was in the army, or something.

The Camouflage Badge: Short opens with Duggee snoozing on the job wearing a SWANK cyan blue sweater with yellow badge like trim. We discover that he's not snoozing, he's the seekers in Seek & Go Hide~! The narrator kindly is relieved that Duggee isn't hiding because that junper sucks when it comes to hiding. Alexander Armstronge is out of line...but he's right. Duggee blows him off because it's a gift...which exposes him! HAHA! Duggee finally woofs that ready or not, here he comes. We zoom out to the property and the kids hiding spots are so hideously hilarious here. Happy trying to be Solid Snake is an epic fail! Norrie is the only one who at least hid inside a balloon and Tag forgot which side is the hiding side of the trees. Everyone is a geek! No surprise, Duggee finds them all within seconds and didn't need a super nose. Take that, Freddy Fox! Every kid is the GEEK OF THE WEEK~...Oh wait, Tag is asking stupid questions! Oh, TAG; you are such a geek! Then a male voice blows them all off and everyone is confused. Then we see a chameleon camouflaged into the tree crawling around the tree until it lands on the branch. He addresses himself as Cosey The Chameleon. Then it pops and now it's grey with cyan blue spots, showing off it's ability to change colors; or it's the default palette. Either way, the kids gasps in horror or amazement or both. Credit to Happy, he at least pronounced camouflage right, the first time. Duggee woofs as Cosey translates and then walks down and changes to match a bush. The kids want two colors, so Cosey, cozys up to a tiger and changes. Roly wants three colors and Cosey blends into three different colored building blocks. Betty wants four colors and Cosey hides behind four different color fruits. This version of can you top is lasts for a while longer as Cosey is slowly glitching for some reason. Is he an AI chameleon disguised as a real one in storyline?! The kids wants ten and I hoped it contains a big fat hen. Cosey had never done ten before, and since he was glitching out at nine, I think he should stop. Cosey don't care because he's a toxic masuclinity chameleon, you see. Cosey succeeds in blending into Duggee's birthday jumper and the kids all cheer. YAY! Sadly, this is still too much for Cosey and he fizzles out into greyscale with cyan blue spots. Sad Cosey! Apparently, he should have listened to his mother and stayed at nine. The kids want to fix him and I'm like no. Just let him rest, I'm sure that will be enough to recharge the color batteries inside of him. I don't trust these kids fixing anything at this point, especially Tag! Duggee decides to assist, whom I trust more because he points to his chest to reveal the Camouflage Badge, which actually makes sense since it blends into the surroundings. At least this show gets it's gimmick well. The narrator claims that this is to restore Cosey's confidence. Can we let him rest first, and then try to restore his confidence later?! Okay, so far, this has been just another episode and we are halfway through it already.

We then HIT THE FLASHBACK~! Little Duggee is walking like a penguin because the artstyle is totally absurd. The entire body is aimed at the hard camera at all times, so you never see Duggee's back and then Duggee trips and lands on his head in such a comical fashion that I'm trying so hard not to laugh because landing on your head is cringe; but I'm failing at it because it's totally absurd! Duggee learned how to walk, and Cosey blows it off because he knows how to walk. Why doesn't Cosey just tell the narrator that he needs some rest?! Apparently, Duggee can snap his fingers and turn the kids into camouflage in one color. Happy is naked now as he paints red spots on himself and hides behind a bush of red berries. Well, that kind of kills the bubble censorship in the openings then! Basically, the guise is that the kids get painted different colors and Cosey slowly regains his ability to camouflage normally. They also use objects and other stuff to help assist, there really is not much to the episode in general as Norrie states that you can hide anywhere, as Cosey hides in the castle picture. The kids cheer as Cosey has got his mojo back, so it's time for another game of seek and go hide. Of course! Hide and seek has to be the payoff to this angle. I should have known. Duggee counts and closes his eyes as we zoom out to see that the kids do a far better job this time. Betty is the worst though, she's basically a Hippie Rabbit in purple. Geez, I told you not to trust those gaslighters, Betty! You are supposed to be the smartass of this show. She's now the GEEK OF THE WEEK~! Sorry, Tag; you did a better job hiding this time. Quacky and her ducks make a second appearance in the paddling pool as Happy is clearly hiding in it, because Happy loves water since that is his gimmick, and Duggee has to pretend that he cannot find him, nor deduce that he is in there. GEEK! Whooooo makes a cameo with the totem pole that CBC Kids didn't show for some reason, now they are fine with it. Duggee cannot even find Betty, who looks so obvious, it's absurd. Now the narrator has to pretend that he cannot see them, despite me seeing at least two of them, including Cosey! The narrator wins the honors of GEEK OF THE WEEK~ right there! I told you all that those Hippie Rabbits have gaslighted everyone in this show now! The kids realize that these two adults are so stupid that they give themselves up on their own. Cosey walks away to greet the Squirrels and change back to normal. Cosey thanks them as the narrator asks if the kids did well, and they did well all right...in making the adults look like geeks! Duggee bails on all fours and returns with the badge as the kids all cheer. Here come the parents in their vehicles, which means DUGGEE HUG~! Duggee hug as they are back to their regular outfits now. SUZY SHEEP~?! The kids bail to present the badge and the adults hug the kids in stereo. The adults leave with the kids in their vehicles as the narrator asks if this was fun. Duggee turns transparents and woofs to end the episode at 6:45 as Cosey is confused at the laughter. Yes, Cosey got a head icon in the end credits as this was a fun episode and little more. *** 1/4 (65%).

Opening Moment #5: This opening features Norrie taking cuddling animals complete with Hedgely The Hedgehog as a cameo! Apparently, after yelling "DUGGEE~!", she runs away and her shoes have bounce spring sound effects for no reason. The title card is a birdhouse like shaped badge containing faces in their own badge frames.

The Get Indoors Badge: Short opens with the kids on the wacky playground thingie as Tag is bouncing off a trampoline mushroom. Roly is complaining about the heat as usual and the kids agree with him. It would be more believable if they were sweating, but they aren't, so it comes off as whining. Happy needs water of course and Norrie bounces stage left to find Duggee, and yes; the bounce spring sound effects are still in evidence. Somehow, everyone teleports into the clubhouse as Duggee is watering a daisy in a pot on top of the shortest table he could find. The top of the table is below the kids' heads when standing up. The kids want to play in the paddling pool and Duggee teases refusing and then decides to let them. However, they must check the barometer because we have to make sure it stays sunny, and doesn't turn cold and wet. Personally, cold is fine; wet not so much. Norrie is confused, her pronouncation is still better than Peppa Pig's. Duggee steps back to reveal his barometer on the wall, which looks like a one arrow cuckoo clock with pictures of weather. What is the weather?! Ummm, 12:30 PM! Betty is surprised as the narrator proclaims that it's always right. Which means the narrator is going to Michael Pacther itself sadly. We get ragtime music with a Super Gameboy Color animated borders of Duggee mugs on weather symbols on white. The narrator claimed that no one believed in a heat wave from last winter. In Canada, we call that a Chinook Wind. Of course, the barometer spins to reveal a lovely sunny day, but outside it's the exact opposite as it is raining much to everyone's disgust as Duggee walks out in summer gear looking like the GEEK OF THE WEEK~! Just look outside, Duggee; that barometer is sciency in a magical world for crying out loud. Hmmmm, I wonder if Granny Sheep made her visit to this world before settling down at the Sheep residence in Peppa Town?! Then, it turns into sunshine within seconds and the Delta Chickens are the GEEKS OF THE WEEK~ since they mocked Duggee under the umbrella trees! Of course! What a fool I am?! Then there is a snowstorm two days later as Duggee has his ski gear ready to mock the Delta Chicken whom get buried deep in fresh snow. This is Nova Scotia weather in 2026, yes sir Billy Bob!

By the way, Duggee then wears a suit of armor bringing in the laundry from outside because there was a hailstorm, with no thunderstorms. Okay, that is ice pellets falling, it's the same thing as hail basically. The Delta Chickens have to flee and panic on cue. We return to reality (no, not at all but I love this magical world for some reason...) as the kids are in awe. We check the barometer and it's broken because it reveals about five weather conditions in a span of thirty seconds, and the narrator is confused. Then I realize that there is no way this barometer can be broken because this is Duggee's World and it's a truly magical place. Unlike Peppa Pig, which is also a fictional world, where it's more reality and it's Suzy Sheep and Peppa Pig gaslightning us into believing that it's magical because they cannot conceptulize science speak properly. The narrator is relieved that they are all inside, but Enid is like "FUCK YOU~", goes through the kitty door and heads outside to lick it's paws next to the tree. Uh-oh! That's a perfect spot to get electrocuded in a thunderstorm. Then the kids realize that all these animals are desentizied, or stupid because they are all outside, except for them. This ends with a border of characters as cameos because apparently, these characters formed a union and are paid by appearance now. Only Heyna gets to do his noise of redneck, of course. Norrie decides that they all need to come inside, and Duggee decides to help because he points to his chest to reveal the badge, and the narrator announces it like he's in a panic. Wait, does this mean we are going to see the narrator?! I hope it's a clone of Captain Dog, that would be money. I betcha we will never see him on camera though. The kids cheer and head outside as they are still using the border. The kids giggle as we HIT THE MONTAGE~! The kids try; but the animals are like "nope" and bail from them. HAHA! Rinse, lather, repeat. Happy does make some progress by screwing General Ant. HAHA! General Ant is not happy about his line being stolen, in more ways than one. The Delta Chickens peak and don't care despite being in every episode in some form since Series One, Episode #1. General Ant chases the ants as Duggee count sheep jumping over the fence, just to bury that counting episode even deeper into the ground. No, I'm not lowering the rating to DUD bordering negative star for that episode. It's not that terrible in spite of what I'm saying here.

Of course, the counting makes Duggee sleepy and he dozes off. Jump cut to the television set being yanked away from the Delta Chicken watching a soap opera. For goodness sakes, get these chickens a smartphone for crying out loud! Yes, it was Betty pulling the television wire and somehow, the television stays on despite no connection. SUZY SHEEP~?! Betty is not a electric jellyfish, come on, show! The chickens chase after her into the clubhouse of course. Norrie has a honey pot of cheese and this is enough for the Naughty Mice to quit their gambling game of sorts to come inside. Apparently, cheese fondue doesn't smell. Happy and Worm are trying to convince the Hippie Rabbits to come inside. Everyone is accounted for as Duggee woofs and Enid is pissed because Duggee is half-hugging her. Yes, they stuffed Giraffe and maybe Hennie into the clubhouse. Yes, even Quacky and her ducklings are forced inside despite being water loving creatures. These kids clearly did not think their cunning plan through and even Duggee realizes that he's about to be wrecked. It gets worse for him, you see. Then, four brown cows and Naughty Monkey are doing a song with mooing and piano playing played well by Naughty Monkey of all animals. The Hippie Rabbits call it a jam and cool, man. Tag is happy at least. Happy pays off his opening sequence from Series 2 by spitting beats, but wears a rainbow cap, because he's so full of cap. Giant grey hipoo literally breakdances on his head and does the spin-o-ronnie better than Booker T! The wrestler, not the murderer. Roly is making redneck fruit punch with Hyena in the kitchen as there is rocking in the doll house. In a shock, no one is dancing to their doom by the country bug band. SUZY SHEEP~?! Stick don't care, we are doing the Dinosaur Stomp from Peppa Pig, with public domain music, because of course we are. The Naughty Mice strip down to their swimming costumes and dive into the cheese fondue pot. The seal claps after hearing that rotting fish is available from the chipmunk seller. Pfft, whatever turns you on, you French seal! Even Quacky is appalled by this. The slug slimes Duggee's head for fun as Angry Bull is literally breaking china, but it's not a china shop; so the joke falls just a bit...short.

Duggee runs after the Naughty Mice with the cheese fondue pot. I don't know why, I don't want mouse juice in my cheese fondue. More stupid stuff as they do the Hanna Barbera running reset spot for a while as Tag rides no hands on Zebra's back of course. The guise of this is that the narrator is there to inform us that the weather is still sunny and has not changed. Duggee pops up like a puppet due to the camera shot making the clubhouse look like a puppet cinema, and the narrator asks if the barometer is broken. How would you know?! This world is magical in every way in storyline, much less real life. Then we get the following finish, which is hilarious: Then, the weather turns into everything as the barometer said it would and Betty has to concede. But wait, the ones outside then notice near a mountain that Hennie is still outside! Hennie is doing her laundry and that is what caused all of this wacky weather. The snow was her soap flakes, the giant washboard caused the thunder, rinsing in the giant bucket of water caused rain, and Hennie spins the laundry like pizza dough to create wind. That is an awesome finish and it made perfect sense. Plus, it was funny and was believable. Hennie then notices everyone and asks after greeting them: What are you doing inside?! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Good question, Hennie! My answer: Because they are the GEEKS OF THE YEAR~! For those who disbelieve that this is believable: Hennie's head reaches the sun! I rest my case, you honor. Everyone runs out in such a hilarious fashion, the clubhouse almost topples. Everyone loves the smell as the narrator asks if the kids did well today. Duggee runs on all fours from the east, which means he got shot out like a cannon. Also funny. Duggee presents the badge to the kids, the kids cheer as in comes the parents in their vehicles. DUGGEE HUG~! Duggee hug, in probably the only time the kids said the line in unison. The kids bail stage left to present the badges to their parents, the parents hug the kids. They showed more emotion than the narrator presentation of the badge to the kids, I should note. The kids leave with the parents in their vehicles as the narrator asks if this was fun. Duggee gets socked by a giant wet sock, and both the narrator and Duggee laugh to end the episode at 6:45. This episode was hilariously awesome! See, the barometer was broken after all and the finish was one of the funniest so far in this show. **** 1/2 (90%).

Opening Moment #6: This opening features the greatest opening moment ever for this show as I mentioned before on this site: There is a horse milk delivery furry with a milk truck. The furry goes over and drops a bottle of milk at Norrie's house while whistling. All of a sudden, the narrator says "Isn't it time for...?!". I'm like "No, no you are not doing this!", the furry yells "DUGGEE~!" in the most absurd voice ever and then runs towards his truck. He gets into his truck and drives to the barn just like in the opening sequence for the Squirrels. Then when the narrator says "Duggee?!" the furry walks over with a bottle milk as Duggee comes out of the barn walking like a human being in blue pjs and accepts the bottle of milk. Duggee turns around, goes into the barn and then goes into the Hey Duggee pose yawning to end the segment. I howled with laughter because this is why Duggee is so great: No one expected an adult much less the milkman to get the opening sequence since the show has kids in the main event! GREAT! That deserves five stars just for that moment. Wait, isn't Delta Frog supposed to be on the bus?! Why is he here?! SUZY SHEEP~?! The title card is circular badge featuring Duggee sleeping in his bed with purple trim..

The Day Off Badge: Short opens in the dining room with Duggee at the table in his SWANK looking pjs eating cereal and milk, just like Peppa Pig does in the morning. Some things never change. Apparently, the cereal is sponsered by the Delta Chickens. Okay, good to know. The narrator asks Duggee what he has planned for the kids today. Duggee, for the first time in this series, admits that he has nothing planned because Squirrel Club is getting a day off holiday for a change. The narrator is panicky, I don't know why since Duggee points to his chest to reveal the badge. The narrator claims that this will be a fun-packed day and Duggee is going to milk every single bite of his cereal he can today. HAHA! I don't blame him for this because he has been wrecked for almost 109 episodes and he also knows that the kids will show up because they are always in on his plans and the parents work anyway. Why not milk this time for all it's worth and enjoy it?! The narrator is no help to him anyway, other than translation. No badge scene changer as we see the contracted appearance of the Delta Chickens, whom have done this similar spot about 105 episodes out of 110 episodes. We return inside as Duggee stretches and then walks away stage left. HAHA! The narrator is confused, but Enid is sleeping on a desk next to a globe and doesn't care at all. Duggee is in the bathroom brushing his teeth and garbling to make his breath smell minty fresh, all while garbling a musical tune. It's no different than doing classical music with arm farts, so yeah. I give them half of the running time before the kids run in to wreck Duggee at this point. Duggee turns on his Walkman to play public domain music while wearing gear that looks like he's from Chase University, only it's called Acorn University. It's a student web service at the University of Toronto in real life actually. Duggee does the double pistols move Kit Cloudkicker does in Ducktales 2017. Jump cut to Enid licking her chops, a telltale sign that she knows Duggee is about to get wrecked again. She also gets cat food that looks like Skittles I should note. The candy, not the bowling pin. He's picking up stuff that he likely put on the floor on purpose to waste time and then dusts pictures on the wall for fun. Yes, Duggee is basically doing more work on his day off and enjoying himself than being with the kids during the club days. He's ironing socks, tidying up stuff and woofs to the musical beat. This episode now really sucks as the vacuum cleaner (which looks like a toy, but it's not here)...

Ron Sparks: It sucks more than Shuan Desmond.

I've been waiting for years to get that cheap shot in. Then Duggee takes a break snoozing on his couch with Enid on his belly. HAHA! Duggee woofs to the beat and Enid wakes up. More Duggee being a normal human being in a dog disguise and the music is getting slower and slower because we are building to the moment where the kids will wreck Duggee because we can all see this coming, since it's a pre-school show for 2-8 year olds. Duggee has a mug of drink and is sighing. Even Duggee is surprised, the kids haven't arrived to wreck him yet. Give it time, Duggee; they'll show up. Jump cut to Duggee taking a bubble bath and somehow a real duckling appears from the bubbles on Duggee's hand. HAHA! Look, this episode is hilarious because I know the payoff to us and I know it's going to be hilarious! Jump cut to Duggee reading the newspapers, the comic section called "Oh, Well". One says "egg", one says "stick" and one of the birds walks off while the other is confused. I don't know why, but that was funny! Then the music becomes whistling and clapping as Duggee has colorized his infamous "It's a bunny" picture of himself conquering a cliff and readjusted the picture on the wall. Duggee and Peggee also have a self-portait. Duggee returns to the table to drink up and the doorbell rings three minutes in! Here we go, this is the end of the day off for Duggee. Duggee is so giddy, he runs to the door on all fours, answers the door and in comes Happy greeting him. My prediction was thirty seconds off by the way. Happy then walks in, and then walks back to the door wearing a yellow jumper and admits he was only there to get his jumper. You see, he misplaced it and we get a flashback of him in his house looking for the jumper and not finding it. In other words, he is not here to wreck Duggee, he's just here to get something he lost. One of the places was underneath Mrs. Elephant's hat, which his mum is wearing outside near the yellow car and she waves back to Duggee. More spots of checking for the jumper outside as he's in a tree with blue bird and Mum asks where Happy last saw it. Happy is finally finishing his mansplaining of the jumper, and then Roly runs in panicky. I'm going to take a guess he needs the toilet. Roly's Dad shows up to talk about their day off which is going to a mud park featuring, Zebra, Worm and Warthog with their kids.

Roly is dirty and digging, which he does all the time. However, since Roly is being supervised by at least THREE adults and two other children as witnessness, he cannot lust for them birds! We are four episodes away from that moment. Roly then says "uh-oh", because he needs the toilet. What a shocker?! Then Betty greets Duggee from behind him. SUZY SHEEP~?! Even Happy is confused. Betty and her dad did a lot of structured things like violin lessons, which Betty sucks at. George plays violin on his first try better than Betty and I betcha Betty cannot play the giant horn like Peppa cannot. Betty's Dad has mastered the cringe eye spot poorly. Next is judo, and I betcha Dad gets wrecked. I check the video...Damn; I'm so good and damn, that had to suck. Dad landed on his head on that throw, probably hated life. Then it's mountain climbing as Betty makes it to the top within seconds, while Dad cannot life one tentacle to save his life. Maybe Dad should have climbs on the colored steps instead of the grey wall where he's a slippery squid. Then it's learning a new language, it's probably Bettiese because Dad is covered in ink at a desk looking completed confused. Dad was more wrecked than Duggee ever was in this episode; which is a nice change of pace. Then horse back riding, which Dad bounces like Daddy Pig on a monster truck bouncing in a muddy puddle. Betty then explains why they are here: It's to give Dad a rest on the couch as Dad is snoring and Enid is pissed again. Is there some kind of feud between the two I am not aware of?! In comes Tag out of nowhere being an idiot because he pratfalls, does forward rolls and lands on his belly. That was something else. Tag has a notepad and Tag's grandmother arrives with the camera because they are animal spotting. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now that is irony! Even funnier, every single animal is doing an impossible pun in real life; but it's Duggee's world, so it makes sense. There was a salmon doing the slalom in skiing, a kingfisher literally fishing (another reason to use angler instead of fisher if you want to be inclusive), a beaver beavering (which is code for building a water dam house), and a flying fish flying like an airplane. HAHA! Apparently, that last one is scared of bionculars and camera that it bails stage left in a panic.

I was hoping that the reason Tag was here was to animal spot Duggee, which would have been hilarious; but he was looking for the flying fish. Leave the fish alone, you Duggee wrecker! Oh wait, there it is and both Duggee and the fish scream, and the scream of the fish was a woman's scream I should add. Then in comes Norrie and her dad as Norrie is wearing the same outfit Duggee is. It took almost five and a half minutes before someone truly wrecked Duggee. Fitting since Norrie was the one who made me lose my shit when she called Duggee's painting a bunny in the first episode of this series. Norrie has been helping dad, which in the flashback is Norrie doing exactly what Duggee did in the first half of this episode. I howled with laughter. It's official, Norrie is Peppa Pig on this show, right down to the trolling. The only way this could have been funnier is if she did everything in the exact sequence Duggee did. The end to this is Norrie Dad is ironing the clothes, because kids cannot do it themselves, although they can use the vacuum cleaner and twirl around like a showoff anyway. The music slows down and Norrie decides that she wants to be at Squirrel's club. The only one who cared about the club as the narrator's heart has melted. Duggee and company do the DUGGEE HUG~! Duggee hug, because the parents are already here. The narrator says it all as the adults eat cereal at the table. Wait, they didn't have breakfast once?! That's really stupid. This was just there so Duggee can return with the badge off-screen. I don't know why they bothered, guess they ran out of time. The kids earned the badge and cheer, doing the bouncing once. The kids present the badges to the adults and hugs abound. Probably the one time Roly's Dad and Tag's grandma got to do the hug. Everyone leaves in their vehicles and the narrator asks if this was fun. Flying Fish buzzes Duggee as Duggee woofs and laughs with the narrator to end the episode at 6:45. You know what this episode is getting, as this is the best episode of Series Three so far! Now, they have to follow that beautiful episode.... ***** (100%).

Opening Moment #7: This opening features Tag putting together a puzzle so wrong it's not even wrong. However, it's all worth it, because after Tag yells "DUGGEE~!", he runs off, bumps into the puzzle and the pieces form the right solution to the puzzle. That was funny. It was Duggee by the way. The title card is literally a letter with USA colors trim.

The Pen Pal Badge: Short opens with Duggee outside looking at something, I don't know what. Blue bird is looking west, probably to warn the birds when Roly shows up. The narrator asks what Duggee is waiting for and out divebombs onto the ground is the delivery stork with letters. Yes, the chipmunk postman has been fired from this show. At least with the delivery stork, I fear for it's life because that bump was brutal. Duggee gets a red seal envelope as Norrie is hiding behind the barn for no reason that I can think of. Oh wait, all the kids run in smiling and giggling with spring sound effects. They ask what the letter is and according to Duggee, it's from their pen pals. Wait, what?! Even the kids are confused. This would have made sense if the five pen pals were from Peggee's troupe, but no; they are five new pen pals from around Duggee's world. It's too bad that this is ficition because this world they show to build up the story is hilarious and I would visit and maybe even live there. I'm not going to bother showing the globe, it is hilarious. There is a problem with this show: They are Talespinning the show; but TaleSpin did a better job with characters outside of the main characters. Hey, Duggee hasn't gotten that down pat yet. The faces of the pen pals all have badges, I won't say who they are now because we have to waste time with the kids opening up their letters and reading them anyway. We start with Nancy the Seal's letter, and yes; Nancy speaks wearing a purple/cyan blue striped sweater. Nancy cuts a promo about being on a busy street, which is a giant rock with mountains for houses and a lot of seals sleeping on the job as usual. The seagulls in this scene have more energy than even Nancy at this point. Nancy claims that it's non-stop 24/7 as we return to Norrie claiming that Nancy sounds fun, that was funny. Roly is not amused as he opens up his letter to reveal a minx named Florian. He wears what appears to be the same outfit Pedro F'N Pony wore during the school play of "Red Riding Hood". He's basically Betty and knows the ways of the medieval harp. Florian also has a German accent and rolls cheese down the hill for sport. He excels in tapersy and martial arts. Sadly, only one board got drop kicked in the demonstration. He also creates technology and made a giant wooden cabinet for his trophies. This has to be a "take that" on Pedro Pony and Edmond Elephant, I refuse to believe otherwise.

Flordian also has a wooden hammer on his person as Roly calls this a new best friends. Oh no, them birds do not stand a chance with these two in the same area. Happy opens his blue letter as the next pen pal is named Mogul, an otter fury who dresses up like a purple baseball star, whom loves water. His family is basically water park fantics. Fun Fact: The mascot for Magic Mountain in New Burnswick was an otter furry. Mogul has a cousin named Erica who is giant and loves paddling pools to stamp her feet in. Just like Happy has a giant cousin as Happy says it all. Then Mogul reveals the twist, Mogual hates water like a stereotypical cat. So, instead of being soulmates with Happy, he's soulmates with Enid the Cat. Happy is sad now. Poor Happy. Tag is next, and his letter comes from someone named Abby, and I am waiting with baited breath to hear that this pen pal writes advice columns for the newspaper. Sadly, it's not because Abby is a shrew and comes from a family of gymnasts. Abby does flips with his family, and flips off his bed the same way Tag bounces out of bed in his opening sequence. Abby makes breakfast this way, and now it's sad me. Tag is amazed by this as it's Betty's turn. Betty is so excited to finally read her letter as it's from someone named Abadayo, whom is a okapi. Abadayo meditates on a giant ant hill in a giant plains area and that's it. Betty is shocked and appalled by this as the narrator points out that it's time to write back to them. Happy asks what they could write as Duggee has already set up the table for writing because it's an excuse to point to his chest to reveal the badge. I would love to know who Duggee's pen pal is, if he/she/it is still alive. Duggee woofs and they teleport to the table out of nowhere. SUZY SHEEP~?! The narrator basically tells them to write the things that interest them and the kids cheer. The kids then write and draw stuff on the paper for a while and it's mostly gibberish and a language I have no idea what Betty wrote there, but I know it's her writing since it's the cleanest. Happy has waves on the postcard and Roly is messy as usual. The narrator narrates the envelope and stamps are added with fart sounds. Every stamp contains the face of the kid who wrote the postcard, Tag made at least six errors he middle crossed out in his postcard. Yes, and the stamps all talk. That was creepy as we head outside at the post office box.

The delivery stork grabs the mail and puts it into his sack. The delivery stork flies around the weird world and delivers the postcards to each pen pal, while bumping on the ground each time. This delivery stork is going to die at this rate, and it won't be because of Roly's bloodlust for them birds! Nancy is first and reads Norrie's letter. I'm not going to give the gory details because it's basically the kids introducing themselves the exact same way the pen pals introduce themselves earlier in the episode. This is to kill time in a nearly seven minute episode. It's also an excuse to get as many cameos of the other animals as possible. Brown Cow has been brainwashed for no good reason, probably by the bug on it's head. Okay, Norrie claims that Hennie got scared by Naughty Monkey popping a balloon. Hennie is shocked and faints forward, threatening to destroy the barn. Duggee counters with the RED BUTTON OF DOOM on the ground, which gives the barn a glass like dome, because Duggee got his force field badge. Hennie bounces up, gets concussed, and she recovers. Everyone cheers as Nancy calls it 24/7 non-stop as Mogul is next as his family is in the paddling pool jumping up and down like they are ready for a puddle jumping contest. Happy was disappointed that Mogul doesn't like water, but he does and it's Brady-Brunch-equse splashing in literally eight different ways. I admit, that was funny. Quacky the duck makes a cameo here. Mogul is not happy to read this as Abadayo is next on the agenda as Betty is acting like the most arrogant squid in the history of squids. Squidward needs to sit Betty down and show her what happens when you submit to arrogence. Anyhow, Betty's letter would make the opening sequence to Fanboy & Chum Chum jealous because Betty talks way too fast. I'm sorry, but Betty and Florian are a better choice for pen pals here. I get that they trying to create conflict here, but this is your first time writing. It's stupid to have the writers personalities conflict with each other. At least Happy and Mogul have only one difference between them, and thus the conflict makes sense. Oh, and Betty in my view just set the record for the fastest attempt at JAQ'ing off in the history of pre-school animation.

Edmond Elephant would have retired and become struck dumb forevermore after this spot. This causes Abadayo to become concussed, I don't blame it. That was really stupid of Betty. Next letter is to Tag as we discover that Tag cannot write to save his life. I was hoping he would write "Dear Abby..." because it would make me giggle, but alas. Baloo and Kit write better than this and they are notoriously bad spellers. Tag basically does the same thing as Abby, but it's the Botchamania Edition~! I'll leave the meaning of this as an exercise to the viewer. Last up is Roly, claiming that he hopes Florian has bunk beds. Why?! I don't know, that sounds random to me. Even the kids are confused as we head to Florian's throne room which doubles as the library. Okay, Roly's letter, I cannot do it justice, it was awesome! Roly basically has luggage and toys and cosplays himself running and bouncing in Florian's castle. I laughed, it was amazing to me and Florian is hiding behind the chair chattering his teeth scared like Shaggy. The narrator asks if this was fun and the kids do the teeth smile to indicate that this was total bullshit. The narrator says that the kids are so different, yet so common and the pen pals on the postcard are like "WHAT?!". Just to make the narrator the GEEK OF THE WEEK~! Duggee presents the badge and here come the parents in their vehicles. DUGGEE HUG~! Duggee hug in postcard trim! The kids bail stage left to present the badges to their parents. The parents hug in unison and leave with the kids in their vehicles. The narrator asks if this was fun as the conveniently placed red button is right there in order for Naughty Monkey to press it. A dome appears underneath Duggee and Duggee becomes Team Rocket blasting off again! This ends the episode at 6:45 with no doghouse in sight at the end credits. By the way, Mogui is actually Marga and Abby is actually Avi, so the "Dear Abby" joke wouldn't have worked anyway. Duggee in the end credit does parachute down, so he's fine, although not amused until the kids say his name. Very fun episode, although the new characters is getting overbearing without building them up more than being gimmicks at this point. *** 3/4 (75%).

Opening Moment #8: This opening features Betty cosplaying being either a pilot on a cardboard rocket, or an astronaut without the spacesuit on a cardboard rocket. When Betty screams "DUGGEE~!", she bounces up and then the rocket ship flies away stage right. Did I mention Betty is the best actors in these sequences?! The title card is a rectangle badge containing a bus that looks like Duggee wearing a hat on top with yellow/brown stitching.

The Big Day Out Badge: Short opens outside with the kids and the guardians exchanging notes and pleasure thoughts. Happy's Mum, Betty's Dad, Tag's Mum, Norrie's mother (I think), and Roly's Dad are here. Of course, there is a bump on the grass right beside Tag and I'm thinking, "Oh, no!" Is Tag going for the tri-fetca to surpass Pedro F'N Pony's record for most injuries on this show?! Well, besides Peppa Pig, of course. The narrator and the families exchange notes for a while as Duggee rides in from the west on his bus covered in badge stickers. They are going on a field trip, you see. Everyone gets into the bus, and Tag dodges the bump with ease. Peppa Pig, Pedro Pony, you are safe for now. We head inside with Norrie and her guardian as her guardian is talking about safety forms. That was funny because it leads to Duggee pointing to his hat to reveal the Big Day Out Badge. Yes folks, badge defeats safety forms on this show. By the way, the cameos on the badge are Delta Chicken, Worm, Delta Frog and Quacky. Every hat on this show has to be floating for no reason, even on badges. Norrie's guardian is perfectly fine with this as Roly and his dad run off to the loo because they forgot of course. Tag's mother compliments Duggee on his uniform and Duggee is suddenly shocked, appalled and honking the horn. Probably as a signal to HR. Kids giggle while Roly and his dad return and enter the bus, while the narrator tells everyone to buckle up. I'm fine with this even if most bus don't have seatbelts. This one clearly has them, so whatever. They buckle up, the bus bounces into the air when everyone cheers and we are off stage right. Duggee proclaims that the place is a surprise as we drive for a while looking at the scenery as the crack captions team claims that Norrie's guardian's is Ethel. I can clearly tell you it's not Ethel. Okay, I can confirm that Norrie's guardian is her grandmother. One of the rock formation is a rainbow, so someone is trolling on George, AGAIN~! Sadly this is not the surprise as the narrator claims that it's somewhere better. I'm giggling at this because I know where this is going now.

Next up is the Wombat's Wobbly Watermill, just to make fun of the "wibbly wobbly" gimmick from Peppa Pig. Basically, a bunch of anthro wobbly wombats from the redneck district build a watermill that wobbles. Pfft, whatever. Naturally, we are not going there as we see more mountains, this time made of ice cream and one of them is shaped like the Knickerbocker Glory that I mentioned in a Peppa Pig Tales episode back in the day well before my self-imposed rant ban on that show. Roly's Dad acts like this the first time he has ever seen it, so naturally they are not going there. Duggee whistles for a while as Roly does his contracted scream at the top of his lungs with excitement. He is so going to be crushed when they arrived, I just know it. Tag's Mum thinks that they are going to Galavant's Castle which is on top of hill with purple/yellow/red colors as there is a purple bear knight with a grey mustache in armor with a crown on top of the helmet on a horse on top of the castle. Galavant blows them off because it's private property, you see. The horse is wearing iron boots and a helmet, I don't know why. Roly's Dad thinks it's a beautiful ruin and Betty's dad ribs him literally and verbally. That was funny. Roly's Dad is not thrilled to hear this, even though it's totally ture. We ride on a bridge where I swear that the show takes place in an alternative reality of Prince Edward Island and they are going to the alternative reality of New Burnswick as kids do the annoying "Are they there yet?", although understandable since they have run out of ideas for the surprise. Norrie's grandmother asks if this is Bagpipe Bridge. There is a Loch Ness monster wearing Scottish gear saying that the bridge is funny in the form of a question, and then we see that the bridge is just a giant bagpipe stretch out as the bus is literally taking bumps off of it, somehow not falling into the water. Duggee world physics are so fuzzy cartoon logic that I was amused. The guardians are appalled as they are annoying Duggee now. Then the bus bounces off the bridge right onto the road and it lands perfectly on a dirt road and that is that.

We are almost there as we see a dozen theme parks on a FPS shot of the road, including a exploding volacno and a Giraffe flying an airplane. Duggee of course no sells because it's obvious by now that the journey is going to be more exciting than the final destination because that is the moral of this story. I figured this out before they got onto the bus by the way. Aliens, Brown Cows and Sheep make cameos as we head through the purple tunnel as the narrator finally says that once the tunnel journey is complete, we are at the final destination. The bus enters the tunnel and then exits as it is a open field of...wait for it....nothing. AND THE ROCK MEANS NOTHING~! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Duggee bounces out of the bus with glee and woofs like a total geek. Everyone is shocked and confused as Duggee dances around happy. Everyone gets out and asks what is special about this as Duggee reveals the picnic basket out of nowhere, because this is Duggee's world and the GADGET TRICK OF DOOM works here for some reason. The narrator reveals that this is Duggee's special picnic spot and everyone is not happy about this. Duggee puts his radio down and turns it on to play public domain music as everyone has their picnic. In a surprise, the ones who are taking this well are Roly and his dad. Duggee of course is happy, while everyone else look like they are still processing this whole special place. Betty's dad is leering at Duggee, he is not happy about this. Norrie's grandmother is still confused, but Tag's Mum loves jam sandwiches, so she's game. Duggee is shocked by this as Norrie's grandmother is starting to warm up about this picnic thingie, methinks. Roly and his dad love blueberry juice and then bounce west to find a toilet. Happy is happy because there is a pond present as Happy's elephant Mum is concerned about Happy being too wet. Apparently, elephant have a similar fear of water to stereotypical cats. Happy invites her to come splash with him as we see Norrie swinging from a tree on a makeshift swing as Norrie's grandmother is fine with this as long as she doesn't swing too high. Betty and her dad are bird spotting in the berry bushes with binoculars as we get a record scratch and we get a bunch of birds beatboxing wearing baseball caps backwards and shoes, in probably the funniest part of the final destination. I wondered where Happy got his beatboxing skills from?!

Maybe they should have a competition in a future episode? Now, Happy and his mum are being a blast jumping up and down in the pond as the second funniest part of the final destination. Then, the Scottish Loch Ness appear to agree with them out of nowhere. Okay, this final destination is starting to get better. Norrie's grandmother is now swinging on the swing faster and faster. Roly and his dad return on Galavant's horse with Galavant. Wait, there were dozens of theme parks beyond the tunnel and they went to a private property castle just to go potty. Galavant might be very sus, if you know what I mean. Cut to Duggee dancing with a tray of cupcake while Tag's Mum continues to praise him for the best day out, in might be her third violation to HR. Then she commit her fourth violation by calling Duggee funny. This was the worst one, since Duggee blushed on cue over that one. Somehow, Norrie's grandmother manage to invite the Wobbly Wombats in a wibbly-wobbly dance. Okay, this is getting silly and it's time to finish this episode now since the logic is going out the door right now. Betty and her dad are dancing with the beatboxing birds, that was funny. The sun is setting as Roly and Galavant are shocked by what they are seeing, which is Roly's Dad beatboxing with the horse. Okay, this episode rocks now! The horse is doing the worst moonwalk of all time, but I laughed so hard it was worth it. Everyone is beatboxing and dancing in shadows until Duggee turns off the radio because it's home time now. Ah, just when this episode was so great, Duggee just had to be a party pooper. Then I realize that there is less than a minute to go and we have to do the badge presentation. Yes, the guardians earn the badge as well as it's time for the DUGGEE HUG~! Duggee hug. The cameos for this episode wave goodbye as we head back west on the bus. The narrator asks if this was fun as Duggee woofs and everyone is snoring and sleeping. The narrator and Duggee laugh and they don't even bother to lower the volume here to end the episode at 6:45. Corrections: Roly's guardian was his grandfather, Norrie's was his dad in a much different outfit, but still gender neutral enough to make it look like he was not cross dressing. Betty's Dad is not credited here and who is Ivor?! The final credits feature the bus returning as sun sets. Anyhow, this was a really fun episode of three parts again: A good buildup, a boring middle and an awesome finish and ending. *** 3/4 (75%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well, our first episodes of Series Three continue to be good as the buildup to the most disturbing opening sequence in Hey Duggee is the next rant after this. The Big Day Off was unquestionably the best one of the lot by a mile and the most complete package of the entire series so far. From the milkperson being a kid again, to Duggee's day off to the kids appearing to tell their days off and Norrie basically mimicking Duggee's routine via BS&P. I loved every second of that episode and I don't think anything can top it now. The Get Indoors Badge was also wonderful for the shows whacky weather and Duggee's wacky barometer antics while The Duck Badge was Norrie being the duck's mother and that was also hilarious and adorable. The Big Day Out probably would have joined had the middle been less boring and The Pen Pal badge if they were writing postcards to Peggee's troupe instead of new characters we will likely never see again. Although seeing Roly wreck his pen pal was a sight to see. The Tooth Brushing Badge was also very fun and Alan was stinky as usual. Overall, this was a really good set of shorts to start Series Three. Next up, "The Cheese Badge" debut and this show finally jumps the hole for real and Roly needs help. Seriously, he needs a lot of help. So...

Thumbs up for The Get Indoors Badge, The Duck Badge and The Day Off Badge. Thumbs in the middle for the rest, and I'll see you all next time.

Back to Other Rants Index!
Return to the Rant Shack!
Return to the Unofficial Kit Cloudkicker Homepage