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Kim Possible: The Villain Files

Reviewed: 11/24/2012

Enough Spanish Dancing & Cowboy Antics To Make Kim Look Like A Redneck!

Welcome to more of the Fall Assortment as we do the next OAV which contains four more episodes including an episode that didn't air on Disney Channel when the DVD came out. This covers episodes 2-43, 1-18, 1-07 and 3-56 on the air date order paper on Disney Channel as Kim meets up with Global Justice, two vain Spanish dancing villains, and Drakken facing Kim in Montana and more Josh Mankey antics which because Drakken sprayed Kim with a spray that makes Kim disappear. Ummmm; yeah, this freaks me out too. So let's get it on shall we...?! Now; an explanation on how we are going to do this rant: Since this was put together as an OAV and the episodes are not separated; I will rant on it as if it is a full OAV film which is 1 hour and 27 minutes long. This is also the plan for the Recess OAV as well as So The Drama (although that movie is considered a legit). The only difference is that I will mention which episode is in progress for each scene. With that said; all credits will be combined as if they were an OAV. It just makes my life easier.

The Villain Files are written by Laura McCreary (who wrote Blush), Robin Riordan & Gary Sperling (they wrote Animal Attraction) and Mark Palmer (who wrote Showdown At Crooked J, and Number One). The story is edited by Eddie Guzelian, Gary Sperling and Mark Palmer. Laura started at DTVA with Teacher's Pet in 2000; followed by Teamo Supremo, Filmore, Lilo & Stitch The Series and American Dragon Jake Long on the Disney side. Non-Disney credits include: Don't Trust The Bitch In Apartment 23, American Dad (her most recent credit), Pollyworld, The Secret Saturdays, Unfabulous, and As Told By Ginger. That's it. The late Robin (Passed away in 2003) Riordan was a writer for The Wonder Years, Nikola, The Journey Of Allen Strange, The Bonnie Hunt Show and Mary Kate & Ashley In Action! That's all. Kim Possible is her DTVA debut, only appearance and her most recent credit. Eddie started with Hercules The Animated Series and has done mostly DTVA stuff including several Disneytoon movies, The Legend of Tarzan, Fillmore, Brandy & Mr. Whiskers, and American Dragon Jake Long. Sample Non-Disney credits: Power Rangers RPM, Legion of Super Heroes, Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, Xialion Showdown, and Big Guy & Rusty The Boy Robot. The Penguins of Madagascar are his most recent credit. He has 22 writing credits to his resume. Mark Palmer wrote for Ahhh! Real Monsters, The Angry Beavers, Rugrats, The Wild Thornberrys, The Famous Jett Jackson, Just Deal, Out There, Xiolion Showdown, Ni Hao, Kai-Lan, The Secret Saturdays and The Penguins of Madagascar as his most recent credit. Buzz Lightyear of Star Command is his DTVA debut; he also wrote for The Legend of Tarzan and Brandy & Mr. Whiskers. The animation is done by Rough Draft and Toon City Animation.

Opening Moment #1: And now we have the proper opening. Besides the Tinker Bell CGI Disney DVD logo; the only notable change is the final shot of the opening includes the Villain Files logo below the Kim Possible logo. No big (deal).

Blush: We begin this one in the mouth of hell (read: inside a volcano) as Kim and Ron are sinking fast into the lava goo; Drakken won't say that he will miss you. And yes folks; captions DO work on VLC; albeit with jaggies! Drakken threats to kill the ozone layer with his MACHINE OF THE DAY~! However; Kim invokes the RUBBER BAND OF DEATH and that easily destroys the machine. The machine exploding is a segue to a space station in space as we head there to see Kim and Ron (in space suits and even Rufus got one too) tied up to the pole as Drakken wants Kim to bear witness to creating another machine that backfires in his face despite being threatening. Doomsday Decimator indeed! Useful gadget #45: the heel grappling hook (which shoots from the heel of Kim's footwear) turns it from Earth to Drakken and Drakken is zapped. We segue to an aquarium as Drakken admires the fish and cuts a promo before turning around and Kim and Ron have somehow flee the scene despite being chained up earlier. Explosion occurs off-screen and Drakken calls for time. He swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (for Pete's sake) because he didn't even get time to gloat. Then a water wave crashes in and splooshes the heels. Shego does nothing as usual. So the wave is another segue way to a supermarket as Drakken has had it with Kim foiling her plans and he is taking a shopping cart to a magazine rack proclaiming that he is putting on hold all cartoony evil stuff like taking over the world and doing some real evil stuff which is to MURDER Kim Possible. Shego seems tired of Drakken's attempts to pin partial blame on her when she didn't do anything. Ummm; the fact that you did nothing points to you taking some of the blame Shego. So Drakken drops magazines into the shopping cart as Shego mocks Drakken for buying teen magazine. Drakken proclaims that teen magazines are a direct portal into the mind of the average teenager. New Disney seems to do the same thing now; only it's tween magazines. Drakken proclaims that to kill Kim Possible; he must KNOW Kim Possible. He laughs in an awesome fashion and then bails stage left to get some milk. Evil Sun Tzu lives! Okay; maybe not. (I'm guessing the opening starts just after this.)

So we head to Middleton School (Sign: Ask Us About Our Test Scores) as Ron is complaining about getting an F- because a simple F would have gotten the message. In the finance world; a minus indicates a negative outlook in the future. That's why the minus is in the score Ron. F is the similar mark to "Junk" status in terms of education. Recently Sony went three notches below junk status; with a negative outlook. Even Panasonic didn't go that low and they have worse finances than Sony does right now. Anyhow; we head outside to the hallway as Ron talks about self-esteem and Kim wants to go left; when classes for Latin are to the right. Ron doesn't understand why Kim Possible who is a straight A student would miss that and Kim claims that she's taking the scenic route. However; we discover that she's going because Josh Mankey is at his locker getting a green book and some brushes to put in his backpack. Kim takes a deep breath and we meet and greet. Josh Mankey (this one at least) is voiced by A.J. Trauth and he started in 1999 with Search For The Jewel Of Polaris: Mysterious Museum as Ben. He then did a few cameos before becoming Alan Twitty in Even Stevens and Mitch Dinkle in Pepper Dennis. Fillmore as Chet is his DTVA debut and he also appeared on Brandy & Mr. Whiskers in a cameo. Ro and Franklin & Bash are his most recent credits. He has 28 acting credits, two self credits and was even a set photographer in The Politician. They make some small talk including some Latin which is "Buyer Beware"; meaning caveat emptor; the only Latin he knows. Hmmm; the last time I ever heard that was on Square One on PBS. Still has meaning today as we continue the small talk since Josh notices Kim is on the other side of the place she is supposed to be right now. This goes on for a while as Kim tries to ask him out; but the bell rings and Josh leaves because he's going to gym class. Kim screams in frustration as Josh comes back and asks if she forgot something. Kim claims that she was tying her laces even though her shoes don't have any and bails stage left. Okay; didn't we blow off the entire "Kim gets boyfriend" thing back in the debut episode? So why are they putting the heat on Kim again? Why should we care now?

Anyhow; we head to a large cliff in shadows hosting a lab which is probably Drakken's lair as Drakken is reading teen magazines which has to be both the funniest and the creepiest thing I have ever seen at the same time. We head into Drakken's reading room as there are magazines everywhere as Drakken finds nothing remotely helpful in them. HAHA! Shego does want the no-chip nails article because she trying to keep her nails in healthy shape since she does all the fighting when it comes to Kim. Drakken yells that Kim must have some weakness. Shego is reading the Shy-Q article as we get multiple choice questions. The first one involves Drakken using a mind control device, #2 Drakken has nothing to be embarrassed about; so Shego brings up the KUNG-FU WEDGIE OF DEATH. HAHA! Damn; I wish that actually happened in the show; it would make the Douglas Benson one from Louie's Last Stand look so second rate. Shego continues to mock Drakken as she goes through other magazines until there is one called "I Could Have Died From Embarrassment" which Drakken gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and wants the magazine. So Shego teases taking the magazine away from Drakken a few times before Drakken gets it and he now has the ultimate Krackpotkin Plan: Make Kim Possible die from embarrassment. Drakken calls it the soft, white underbelly of the teen ego. Shego is grossed out as we scene change to Bueno Nacho as Ron has having hundreds of nacho chips in the bowl which is stacked like a tower. It's Mexican Jenga! AHHAAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmmm... Kim is more interested in telling her failure to date Josh Mankey (Disney Option has it as Minkey which is fine since the joke still works either way); but Ron is more interested in playing nachos with Rufus. See; he hasn't called a chip avalanche since 1997; which was the beginning of the One Saturday Morning Era; which means it happened while Ron was watching the debut episodes of Recess. Ron thinks the dating game is so overrated. Kim claims that she can get an actual date which would be fine if she didn't get the Josh Mankey date in the debut episode!

Kim goes on about how Josh was going to ask her to a date and the corn chip tower is teetering and it topples all over Rufus. Rufus pops up and declares himself the winner I guess. Ron blows off the perfect date stuff as he points out that Kim and Ron do it all the time. Kim claims that Josh is a different thing all together as Ron points out the joke on Josh's last name which is pretty racist if you ask me. So we head outside as Drakken outclasses Gyro again with the GRAY UFO HOVERCRAFT OF DOOM~! HA! In your face Gyro Gearloose! It's hovering over the eatery as Drakken brings out his red backpack containing unusual liquid and his own transmitter as he explains the plan to Shego. See; the formula he used is to use the pollen of the rare Amazonian Aurora orchid. I'm going to leave it's meaning as an exercise to the reader. See; the serum is exposed to the skin and amplifies the blushing mechanism to the point when the subject feels embarrassed she crumbles and disappears. That's a neat way to kill someone: bloodless, painless, and easy to hide from CSI shows. Shego ignores him as usual because she's still doing the Shy-Q quiz. Drakken is not amused as he jumps off and hover over Kim and Ron coming out of the eatery. Kim tells Ron to cut the conspiracy crap already (death reference #3) as Drakken sprays the pink stuff on Kim and rockets away. Kim coughs a bit and is confused. Drakken's spray gun looks like a metal detector. Kim and Ron don't suspect a thing and walk out as Drakken laughs. That scene is pretty silly because the pink stuff should have alerted Kim to seeing who was doing that. If Drakken had fled the scene and hid; this would make more sense. So we head somewhere behind the bushes close to the mall as Drakken and Shego are hiding behind the bushes while Kim and Ron walk into the mall. Drakken has a magazine as Shego asks why they are here. See; according to Drakken's "research" (citations provided by teen magazines of course); the mall is perfect for a teen becoming embarrassed. You know Drakken; Ron being around Kim Possible would do since he does some really embarrassing stuff himself. So why the need for research?

Drakken wants to sit back and enjoy himself as we head inside the mall. Kim and Ron head to the down escalator and at the bottom floor is Josh talking to some teenage girls. Kim gets all confused about how to approach this as she walks around in circles. She talks about health food stores and then trips and falls down the steps and she manages to drag Josh's sweater down below the shoulder blades before dropping down. We see Bonnie was talking to Josh because she blows off Kim's real subtle entrance. Kim is wearing a pink belly shirt by the way as her belly button is spiraling out of control just as she stammers and she runs into Club Banana after looking around for a place to hide. Drakken is loving this as Ron runs in while Kim looks herself in the mirror while holding her belly button. Kim proclaims that something is not right with her as she shows the belly button to Ron and Kim picking at it proves that it has the power to create a black hole. Ron panics and wants a doctor to check it out. Kim looks stressed and that ends the segment almost nine minutes in.

After the commercial break; we head to Kim's house AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Wade is doing the scan on Kim in her bedroom via Rufus, the communicator and Ron as Wade isolates the black hole as we got B&W security footage of Drakken spraying Kim with the pollen. Shouldn't that turn off kids from this show? Clearly it didn't. Anyhow; according to Wade, the formula is designed to increase the black hole when Kim gets embarrassed and if the transformation is complete; Kim is gone forever. This is stupid in a way because they have already said die THREE TIMES in the episode already! The good news is that the flower pollen does reverse the effects which is the usual cop out version of the "second blow to the head"; but a lot less dangerous. It's in the Amazon rainforest and Rufus and Ron are ready to go down. Kim wants to follow; but Ron stops her. Why? Because she might kill herself on the way to the antidote silly. Kim proclaims that she can use mind over matter; but Ron grabs the communicator and no sells. We do some losing pants metaphors which shows that Ron is so shameless. Wade agrees with Ron and Kim is grounded by Wade F'N Load. Tell me again what Nightflight was saying about BS&P notes because they clearly ignored it in this scene. So we head to morning in the Possible household as Kim is locked up in her room with no computer; doors locked and is about to rip the phone out until it rings and Kim answers it like a fool. It's Josh as we get the delta split screen of doom to waste some more time. Kim apologizes for the shirt and Josh calls it water under the bridge as Josh wants to hang out with Kim at the last second and Kim stammers like an idiot before finally saying yes and decides to take a couple of minutes to change. Kim's belly button serves as a scene changer as we head to the Amazon rainforest as we pan down to a lake, some docks and a wooden shack. We see Ron with a blue life jacket as Wade tells Ron to wait until he arrives. Yes, Wade is going to meet us because he needs some experience in the field.

Then we hear Wade's voice coming from the bushes and out comes a robot prototype with a screen showing Wade. HAHA! Come on Ron; you expect Wade to somehow teleport to your location in five seconds? Really? So it's called the Wade Bot XR prototype. We segue to them on the boat as Wade proclaims that Kim is safe as long as she stays in her room as they sail away. We head to Kim's house AFTER HAPPY HOUR as Josh arrives in his suit and rings the doorbell. Kim is on the couch wearing a blue dress; but not a real blue dress because that's cool. Then Jim and Tim come in for their five seconds of mocking Kim by trying to get the door; but Kim shoos them away and calls them tweebs. You know; this whole plot line would make more sense if everyone unintentionally embarrasses Kim to the point when Josh arrives Kim is almost gone instead of going for pin point booking like they are doing now; but maybe it's because I find the whole angle to be dumb right now. Anyhow; Kim opens the door and the tweebs do kissing noises to annoy Kim; so Kim tells Jim and Ann that she'll be home by ten, and grabs a trench coat and they leave. We then head to the living room as Tim and Jim are watching television and they are hatching a plan to hack into Kim's computer to expose all her kissy-kissy stuff on Josh. Then they decide that this would take all night; so they'll spy on Kim directly. Oh great; I have to put up with the tweebs longer than three minutes now. So we head to inside the restaurant as Josh and Kim are at the desk to check in and Kim hold her trench coat to hide her belly. She claims that she's chilly despite wearing a full blue dress. But not a real full blue dress; that breaks logic even more. So Kim and Josh walk in as Drakken and Shego follow and want a table for two. The black female clerk motions them to come stage left.

So we continue down the river of the rainforest with Wade Bot, Ron and Rufus as Wade plays jazzy music as the crack Disney captions team claims it's Jazzy Muzak. I am not making that up. Ron is relaxing like Baloo on an excuse not to work for Rebecca. The "muzak" stops (sadly; muzak is what we call elevator music by the way) as Wade shows a map that they need to go another six or seven miles which Ron panics because we hit the rapids and Wade is confused. As usual for someone who never leaves his room. So Ron tries to row the boat gently down the rapids; but that method only works with streams. Rufus tries to steer; but the wooden rudder is broken which forces Wade to go all rapid keyboard on us as the robot inserts a pipe with a motor engine on it and we whiz down the rapids without further incident. Damn; that is lame because what makes it usually exciting is stopping before going over the water fall which has been the staple of every cartoon doing the river boat spot. Ron mocks Gaia and does another awesome catchphrase: "Who's your daddy?! Who's your daddy's daddy". Became a famous mock for Pedro Martinez until the Red Sox beat the Yankees in the ALCS in 2004 after being down 3-0. Then no one took the chant seriously. So then we get the waterfall spot (Memo to Wade: This is NOT Google maps; get over yourself.) as the boat completely crashes and crumbles to scrap; but the POWER OF BS&P gives Wade hand gliding tank abilities and allows Ron and Rufus to float up unharmed. They glide away as Wade proclaims that it's great to get out once in a while. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Irony immunity much there Wade? So we head back to the restaurant as a waiter is coming this way while Kim and Josh are eating hamburgers and fries and chocolate root beer float for Josh and chocolate milk for Kim. Josh is having a good time as Kim giggles while dipping fries into the float. We pan west to see the TWEEBS OF PAIN being somewhat repulsed by this. They are Josh a freak as Kim calls Josh a trailblazer; we then pan east to Shego and Drakken at their table. Shego thinks Josh is cute and Drakken blows her off accusing her of being related to Josh Mankey.

Drakken reminds her of the mission and Shego is going to give her some embarrassment as she jumps down; somehow teleports behind the waiter and kidnaps him from behind the door. She returns wearing the waiter outfit which does nothing to hide the green hue trim around her body; nor anything below the torso. She comes over and gives Kim a defective glass of root beer on the rocks as Josh asks her about the most disgusting food combination she ever had and Kim isn't telling until she knows him better. So she sips the root beer and it pours over her dress and she blushes in embarrassment. This the most lamest booking they could have done with this scene. They should have just had Josh do something embarrassing like spill it unintentionally on Kim so that Ron can redeem himself more. Kim is up and she holds her belly just in time for Shego to slip the whoopie cushion (That's more like it!) and she foolishly sits down and blushes even more. As she panics and manages to topple the table and spray ketchup in Josh's face. Kim apologizes and blushes even more as Josh forgives her without a second thought. Great way to make Kim look weak there guys. Kim runs off with the trench coat as Drakken is loving this and seems to like root beer float fries too. So we return with a sky shot of the valley as Ron is hand gliding with Wade bot as Ron sees an opening and declares that a safe spot. So they land and we scene change to Wade bot and Ron running in the jungle stage left from a black panther. In Ron's world; safe is never absolute. This goes on for a while as we see a dangerous cliff and Wade bot claims that he has this one covered. So he grabs Rufus and Ron and jumps off the cliff while rapid keyboarding again. So we free fall and Wade goes for the parachute and there's no parachute because it's still in Wade's closet. HAHA! Ron is not happy at all as we free fall some more...

...and scene change back to the restaurant as Kim comes out of the ladies washroom wearing the trench coat on full; so Shego sneaks up and it about to toilet paper Kim into a mummy and Kim turns around and whacks it away. At least now we get Kim VS. Shego fight #3 and Kim's punch actually CONNECTS on Shego with the flash impact and Shego goes flying. Well; that sort of hurts the series finale doesn't it? So Kim brings out the table cloth which she shows that she can do the old "keep the objects off the table" thing that was done in Cash As Catch Can; or was it Catch As Cash Can? I can never get those two straight. Anyhow; this leads to Shego getting whipped and thrown into the kitchen off-screen taking some decent bumps inside. So Kim returns to the table with Josh and apologizes. Josh doesn't seem to care as he wants to grab a movie and Kim agrees; at long as it's extremely dark. So we cut to Drakken swearing in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (drat) as his cover is officially blown now. Shego comes with wet and a table cloth and it's check please. So we go back to Ron and Wade bot free falling and bouncing off leaves and then Ron hits the ground and does forward rolls. Rufus does some more and lands right near the pink flowers. Rufus rises up and notices them despite us barely able to see them. So we scene change to outside the movie theater as we head inside as Josh and Kim are watching a kung-fu movie. Well; that's a really interesting choice there and Kim seems to like it as we pan up to Drakken and Shego watching on from an empty balcony. Damn; even in this show; theaters are on their way out. Shego wants to do the old gum trick; but Drakken has a "better" plan which is....wait for it...embarrassment ninjas?! That's right folks; ninjas who play pranks on people. Even Shego thinks this is lame as she gets joy buzzed for her troubles. So Drakken orders the embarrassing ninjas to get Kim as they go down Mission Impossible style as they pour maple syrup into a balloon; but some of the syrup drops on Kim's hand and she looks over and sees them right away.

So Kim stammers and then runs up to get more popcorn (apparently; getting closer was taken the wrong way by Josh). The prank ninjas set up again as Kim does the grappling hook and we play pendulum for a while. Science; not the band. The prank ninja get kick right into the wall as Kim drops back down and asks Josh what she missed. We then cut to the back with the Tweebs blowing off the embarrassment ninjas. And since this is 2003; Tim sezs "was like the best." here which is quite annoying. Do we really need an extra "like" there guys? I have no problem with the like/dislike button for Facebook and Youtube because it's in the right context; here it's just pointless. The best speech is the ones who bring out the most detail in the fewest words needed to get the point across. So we head back as Rufus dig a circular hole around the flower to uproot it; as Ron praises Rufus and calls for Wade. However; the Wade Bot is trashed up real good and we have an intentionally hilarious scene where Ron treats Wade bot like a human being as the monitor goes dead. Rufus pulls on Ron to let him go; and Ron refuses because no one gets left behind. HAHA! Wow; that's talking to 65% of the total audience there. More melodramatics and then we finally hear the FOUR BEEPS OF DOOM after 17 minutes of beep-free action. And Wade is fine of course because he's NOT in the rainforest. Ron is such a hilarious idiot! So we go outside the movie theater as we see Drakken and Shego hovering above Kim and Josh who are coming out of the theater. Kim is not happy as she wants a walk in the park and they make it to the edge of the sidewalk; only to get the always annoying MAGIC MUD OF DEATH sprayed on her despite no signs that it rained earlier in the evening. A red car is speeding away and it's the embarrassment ninjas finally getting their revenge. HAHA! Drakken SCORES on that one. Kim keeps her composure; but her hands are starting to fade away now. Kim calls for Ron as we head into the jungle as Ron looks bushed as Wade states that one whiff of the pollen should save Kim from "death by belly button". AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ron complains that they will never make it; and then we hear jet noises and a jet flies overheard. Ron and Rufus runs through the bushes and find the conveniently placed airport terminal and love it for the free peanuts. In the immortal words of the Backyardigans: That sure was convenient. So we head to the park after dark as Kim and Josh are walking. Josh offers to hold Kim's hand; but Kim no sells since the hands are dying on her. Josh respects that as the embarrassment ninja act more like real ninjas now as Drakken has the binoculars on full blast. Two more does of embarrassment and Kim suffers death by belly button; so Shego asks about getting the binoculars from the embarrassment ninjas and Drakken claims he did while getting pink rims around the eyes. HAHA! Nice BS&P decision there guys. Shego claims that she has no reason; which is admitting that she is secretly laughing at Drakken's expense. So we walk some more as there is a church in the background; but no steeple nor cross. So close, so damn close. The focus is on a concrete wall as it is a really stylized painting of people and color made by Josh and a few street kids. Kim thinks it's beautiful and I agree with her. So they sit down at a bench as the Tweebs who apparently stole the nephews clothes from Super Ducktales Part Four are practicing the fine art of not being seen behind the bushes. Scene change back to Kim's room as Ron steps in with the flower and Kim is nowhere to be seen. Ron looks around and notices the phone is not unplugged as he goes through the caller ID and sees mostly Ron; but one entry for Josh. Ron calls Josh a monkey and we head back to Kim and Josh sitting on a bench and it's time for Odds Makers again. What embarrassing moment will Kim Possible suffer that makes her belly button nearly kill her before Ron saves the day with the pink plant? Odds if you please?

[1.] The embarrassment ninjas throw a pie in her face. 3:1.
[2.] The embarrassment ninjas outperform Kim in a fight. 300:1.
[3.] Josh tells Kim that her cartoon show is canceled. 30:1
[4.] Josh tells Kim that BS&P hates her midriff and thus invented the spiral belly button. 33:1.
[5.] Jim and Tim do the "Kim and Josh sitting in a tree; K-I-S-S-I-N-G" 3.3:1
[6.] Kim sees Jim & Tim in a tree doing kissing sounds. 3.3:1
[7.] Ron trips and splats the flower in Kim's face. 1.3:1
[8.] Ron calls Josh a monkey. 0.3:1

And the winning entry is...wait for it...checking the DVD...It's none of the above because the Tweebs bring a projector and turn it on into the tree; showing little Kim having a bubble bath. WHAT?! If you ever want an allegory of why I hate these two; this scene is the clincher for me. Kim's legs and body are fading away and Kim only had a head left as she bails up the tree. Ron is on the street; calling on Wade as Wade has found thermal scans of a head in Middleton park. Ron sees this as Kim and yells for her as Jim and Tim hear noises and turn around to see Kim with just her head and a clear image of her body. Kim is PISSED off now as the Tweebs call it full blown cooties. Josh calls this the weirdest date ever as the Tweebs run off giggling as Kim wants to kill them later. Since they are here; the prank ninjas are behind her and we have a lame fight because Kim trips on the projector somehow and falls down the tree with projector in tow. Josh is shocked as Kim and the two ninjas no sell and continue the fight on the ground. Drakken sees her as just a head and wants her dead as he calls for the most devastating move you can ever do to a teen in DTVA: Give her the...wait for it...the power of the pimple punch! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Come on Shego; that's a winner right there. Even Kim is surprised at that one as one of the ninja does the Fist Of The North Star touch of doom (remember that anime show where Ken (who is the anime version of Chuck Norris; only Ken can actually kill Chuck Norris) walks around; cracks his knuckles; does the 100 hands move while doing the highest pitch grunts in the history of mankind, and one finger touch to the head or body makes it explode within ten seconds in a spray of blood?) and creates a fake pimple on Kim's face. Ninja #2 shows a mirror to Kim and Kim blushes losing her mouth. So we fight some more as Ninja #1 brings in a can of Body Odor Spray (labeled B.O. which also stands for Back Off; or worse; Bitch Off. Nice going BS&P. Should have just let that one slide; or made them book a different spot) and tries to spray it; but Kim grabs the ninja and throws him into the gray UFO hovercraft.

So the spray overwhelms the heel and they are forced to fly off as Kim has found a black cape and puts it over her mouth and walks forward as Josh asks about what happened and Kim breaks logic by speaking despite having NO mouth. Just because they can get away with it in NES/SNES games where limitations are a problem; doesn't mean this show can get away with it. Josh is forgiving as Ron appears from the bushes while Josh is teasing a kiss; Ron shakes the flower and blows the pollen right into Kim. Kim asks to be excused; and she sneezes violently as her body returns to normal and that is that. Not exactly an epic finish there guys. Josh and Kim head back to the house as Ron and Rufus slap skin at the park. So Josh wants to know the big secret which is completely out of nowhere as Kim admits that she likes marshmallows on hotdogs. Josh calls that totally embarrassing and Kim blushes; but nothing happens. Kim claims that she can live with it as Josh kisses him and leaves. Kim goes inside and Josh asks about how the date went and Kim called it perfect as we end the episode at 21:19. This was quite stupid; albeit funny in several spots. Redoing a plot that has a short shelf life; and then bringing Jim and Tim into it is embarrassing enough; but then making it worse by having a dull finish and a dull ending. There's your first thumbs down episode of the series; at ** 1/4 (45%). Sometimes; Kim isn't all that.

Animal Attraction: We begin this one with a shot of a room with a wall safe. Then we see a spider like robot crawling on the floor and then release iron tentacles and a monitor showing the locks on the safe door from the middle of the door. The spider robot starts cutting the locks of the safe as we cut to a shot of an old man who seems to have a Spanish accent and white sideburns on his head wearing a red coat calling this a wonderful life of villainy. He is addressing his son who also sports a Spanish accent who is wearing a yellow banana shirt, tight black pants; looks like he's been to Larson & Gary's gym and sauna; and sporting a Gruffi pose. Yes folks; this is the debut of the Senors who are a bunch of Spanish heels who the father wants his son to be a heel while Senor Junior just wants to be in love with a certain girl who can do anything. Wink! Wink! Nudge! Nudge! I love Senor Jr by the way; not so much for Senor Sr.; Senor Sr is just a Spanish heel; while Senor Jr. is the new Disney version of Don Karnage, only with dancing skills and is in true love with someone who doesn't want his love. Senor Senior Jr. is voiced by Nester Carbonell and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Carbonell had recurring roles on Resurrection Blvd., The Tick, Strong Medicine, Kim Possible (as the voice of Señor Senior, Jr.), and Cold Case. He also guest-starred on Scrubs ("My Moment of Un-Truth"), House ("Cursed"), Day Break, and Monk. He also played the role of Luis Rivera on the show Suddenly Susan for four seasons. He guest starred in Friends. Carbonell played Richard Alpert for seven episodes in the third season of Lost, and the mysteries surrounding his ageless character were heavily discussed among the fan community.[7] While producing the final episodes of the third season, Carbonell was cast in a starring role as Frank Duque on the new CBS series Cane. The writers modified their original story plan for the third season in anticipation for Carbonell's potential unavailability.

Despite Carbonell's willingness to return to Lost, CBS president Nina Tassler ruled out another Lost guest appearance.[8] Cane was canceled during the 2007–2008 Writers Guild of America strike, freeing Carbonell from his contract with CBS.[9] Lost showrunner Carlton Cuse said that Carbonell would reprise his role as Richard Alpert towards the end of the show's fourth season,[10] as a result of Cane's cancellation.[9] Carbonell made appearances in the episodes "Cabin Fever" and "There's No Place Like Home". Executive producer Carlton Cuse cited this as an unintended positive consequence of the strike.[10] Carbonell appeared in nine episodes of Lost's fifth season.[11] He was part of the main cast of Lost for its final season. In 2006 he appeared alongside Lost costar Matthew Fox as assassin Pasquale Acosta in the film Smokin' Aces. In 2008 he landed the role of Mayor Anthony Garcia in Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight.[12] His wife, Shannon Kenny, was previously involved in a Batman project, voicing the character Inque in the Batman Beyond TV series. In 2010, Carbonell joined the series Psych for two episodes playing Declan Rand, a criminal profiler.[13] As of 2011, Carbonell stars on the CW series Ringer as FBI agent Victor Machado. In 2012, he briefly appeared in The Dark Knight Rises, reprising his role as Mayor Anthony Garcia, in the final instalment of Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy. He started on Law & Order as a cameo in 1991. Brandy & Mr. Whiskers at Tito is his DTVA debut and he was cupid in American Dragon: Jake Long and in a cameo of Special Agent Oso. Dead Drop as Santiago is his most recent credit. He has 57 acting credits, 11 self credits and one production credit for Attention Shoppers.

Senor Senior Sr. is voiced by the late Ricardo Montalban (passed away in 2009) and according to the USIMDB: Ricardo Montalban was the epitome of continental elegance, charm and grace on film and television and in the late 1940s and early 1950s reinvigorated the Rudolph Valentino / Ramon Novarro "Latin Lover" style in Hollywood without achieving top screen stardom. Moreover, unlike most minority actors of his time, he fought to upscale the Latin (particularly, Mexican) image in Hollywood. His noted militancy may have cost him a number of roles along the way, but he gained respect and a solid reputation as a mover and shaker within the acting community while providing wider-range opportunities for Spanish-speaking actors via Los Angeles theater. Born in Mexico City on November 25, 1920, the youngest of four children to Castilian Spaniards (his father was a dry goods store owner), Ricardo moved to Los Angeles as a teen and lived with his much older brother Carlos Montalbán, who was then pursuing show business as both an actor and dancer. Ricardo attended Fairfax High School in Hollywood and was noticed in a student play but passed on a screen test that was offered. Instead, he traveled with his brother to New York, where he earned a bit part in the Tallulah Bankhead stage vehicle "Her Cardboard Lover" in 1940, and won subsequent roles in the plays "Our Betters" and "Private Affair". Returning to Mexico to care for his extremely ill mother, his dark good looks and magnetic style helped propel him into the Spanish-language film industry. After nearly a dozen or so films, he was on the verge of stardom in Mexico when MGM took an interest in him and he relocated back to Los Angeles. Making his Hollywood leading debut as a robust bullfighter and twin brother of MGM star Esther Williams in the "B"-level musical Fiesta (1947), he attracted immediate attention.

His second film with Williams, On an Island with You (1948), led to a contract with the studio, where he routinely ignited "Latin Lover" sparks opposite such prime female stars as Cyd Charisse, Shelley Winters, Anne Bancroft, Pier Angeli, Laraine Day and (once again) Esther Williams, this time in Neptune's Daughter (1949) (one of his MGM extravaganzas opposite gorgeous Lana Turner was actually called Latin Lovers (1953)). His strongest Hispanic competition in films at the time was Argentine-born fellow MGM player Fernando Lamas, who wound up eventually marrying Esther Williams (and, later on, another MGM beauty, Arlene Dahl). Although Montalban was the perfect, handsome, virile, romantic, stereotype of the "Latin lover", it actually wound up pigeonholing him and stalling his career. He was seldom able to extricate himself from the usual portrayals of gringos, bandidos and gigolos, although he did manage to find an interesting film from time to time, such as his turn as a Mexican undercover cop in the gritty Border Incident (1949), Mystery Street (1950), the classic war film Battleground (1949) and the hard-edged boxing drama Right Cross (1950). Occasionally, he was handed ethnic roles outside the Latino realm, such as his villainous Blackfoot Indian chief in Across the Wide Missouri (1951) starring Clark Gable, his heroic, bare-chested rebel warrior in the steamy Italian sword-and-sandals costumer La cortigiana di Babilonia (1954) alongside Rhonda Fleming and his Japanese Kabuki actor in the Oscar-winning feature Sayonara (1957). It was during the filming of Across the Wide Missouri (1951) that he suffered a serious injury to his spine after he slipped and fell off a running horse, which resulted in a permanent limp.

Well established by this time, Montalban returned to the stage in 1954 with varied roles in such fare as "Can-Can", "The Inspector General", "South Pacific" and "Accent on Youth", before making his 1955 Broadway debut as Chico in the original musical "Seventh Heaven" with Gloria DeHaven, Kurt Kasznar and Bea Arthur. He then earned a Tony nomination as the only non-African-American actor in the tropical-themed musical "Jamaica" (1957) co-starring Lena Horne. He also toured as the title role in "Don Juan in Hell" in the 1960s, returning to Broadway with it in 1973 with Agnes Moorehead, Paul Henreid and Edward Mulhare, and touring once again with the show in 1991. His strong work ethic and reservoir of talent enabled him to continue on television long after his exotic beefcake status in films had waned. He had married Loretta Young's half-sister Georgiana Young in 1944, and appeared on his sister-in-law's television series ("The New Loretta Young Show" (1962)) several times. He also showed up in a number of television dramatic anthologies ("Playhouse 90" (1956) and "Colgate Theatre" (1958)) and made guest appearances on the popular series of the day, such as "Death Valley Days" (1952), "Bonanza" (1959), "Burke's Law" (1963), "Dr. Kildare" (1961), "The Defenders" (1961) and, more notably, a 1967 "Star Trek" (1966) episode in which he memorably portrayed galaxy arch-villain Khan Noonien Singh. He resurrected this character memorably in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982). Over the year,s he continued to appear occasionally on the big screen, typically playing continental smoothies, in such films as Love Is a Ball (1963), Madame X (1966) and Sweet Charity (1969), but it was television that finally made him a household name. Montalban captivated audiences as the urbane, white-suited concierge of mystery Mr. Roarke in the Aaron Spelling series "Fantasy Island" (1977).

He stayed with the series for six seasons, buoyed by his popular "odd couple" teaming with the late Hervé Villechaize, who played Mr. Roarke's diminutive sidekick, and fellow greeter, Tattoo. While it may have seemed a somewhat lightweight and undemanding role for the talented Montalban, it nevertheless became his signature character. The series faltered after Villechaize, who had become erratic and difficult on the set, was fired from the series in 1983. Corpulent Britisher Christopher Hewett, as Lawrence, replaced the Tattoo character but to little avail and the series was canceled one season later. The troubled Villechaize committed suicide in 1993. An Emmy winner for his role in the miniseries "How the West Was Won" (1978) and a noteworthy villain in the "Dynasty" (1981) spin-off soap series "The Colbys" (1985), Montalban was also famous for a series of television commercials in which he returned somewhat to his "Latin lover" persona, primarily in a series of slick commercials for Chrysler's Cordoba automobile, pitching the elegant auto with its "rich, Corinthian leather" (it later came to light that this phrase had been conjured up as a marketing tool, and that there was no such product from Corinth or anywhere else!). As for film and television work in his later years, he good-naturedly spoofed his Hollywood image in a number of featured parts, including a hilarious send-up of himself in The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (1988). Two of his final, larger-scaled film roles were as the grandfather in the two "Spy Kids" sequels: Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams (2002) and Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (2003). His deep, soothing, confident tones could also be heard in animated features and television series. Frustrated at Hollywood's portrayal of Mexicans, he helped to found, and gave great support, attention and distinction to, the image-building "Nosotros" organization, a Los Angeles theatre-based company designed for Latinos working in the industry.

Nosotros and the Montalban foundation eventually bought the historic Doolittle Theater in Hollywood and renamed the theatre in his honor in 2004. It became the first major theater facility (1200 seats) in the United States to carry the name of a Latino performing artist. In 1980 he, along with Bob Thomas, published his memoir, entitled "Reflections: A Life in Two Worlds". He started with three movies in 1942: Five Were Chosen, The Three Musketeers and El Verdugo de Sevilla. Buzz Lightyear of Star Command as Vartkes is his DTVA debut. American Dad as General Juanito Pequeño is his final known credit. He has 169 acting credits, 74 self credits and directed two episodes of Fantasy Island. Yeah; seven paragraphs in less than a minute. Sounds like Recess is back in session! Junior is like Shego who blows off Senior's attempts to look like he's the better one as we discover that he wants the experimental prototype (their debut was in episode 1-3 by the way) as Junior wants Senior to buy the thing on-line. Senior blows off the Internet which is not smart of him and it's made worse when the spider robot finally unlocks the safe; the door slowly opens and at 23 minutes exactly; the shadow reveals Kim Possible. How do you say "GET OFF MY LAWN!" in Spanish?! Maybe Dora can help me with this one. Probably not. So Ron comes in from the other side with an army of agents and Senior notices him right away, Junior doesn't seem to care; and Senior calls this well played; so he pushes a button to start up the rocket packs. He magically blows up the ceiling and they both fly through because the guard run in a good ten seconds too late. Ron calls him a bad man with good manners. Ummm; yeah, the vilest heel you can get; real life or not. And we would hit the opening in the Disney Channel version...

So we head to Middleton school as the bell rings. We head inside the hallway as a red shirt/blue pants blond kid claims that he came out like a green guppy. Another one is a ferret of some kind as we get some reading from a bunch of girls in the foreground as we pan over west to the lockers with Kim and Ron. Ron wants some advice and asks what snacks he would bring if he was on the adventure of his life as he brings out a green covered magazine which Kim grabs and notices that it's the Animalogy craze. Is this any worse than the Tinymon craze on Johnny Test? Answer: Ummmmmmmmmmmm...not by a long shot. According to Ron; Animalogy is a window into someone's soul which is kind of creepy actually. Kim calls it a lame cross between astrology and a personality quiz. Still much better than Tinymon KP. Ron claims that it's not even close because it assigns you a color and an animal. Kim blows it off because she doesn't want to know her perfect mate if it's a blue baboon. Ron calls that a disaster as Kim passes on fads anyway and goes into the gym and calls the troops to get started. Who are sitting on the bleachers reading Animalogy magazines. Bonnie blows off Kim for breaching her concentration levels. This is a segue to a place near a tree as Junior (I think it's perfectly fine to call the Senors by their age titles here since typing "Senor Sr." and" Senor Jr." is really pushing my daisies right now.) is reading Animalogy and having a lot more fun too. So we discover that the Senors are eating at a Hawaiian restaurant as Senior blows off Junior because he wants to unlock a way into the facility with the experimental prototype of something which the writers have yet to explain. And it's by candlelight as we notice a pompous fat guy wearing a white shirt, green shorts, has hairy legs, and gold bracelets on his wrists. Senior addresses him as Philippe Bouillon which is a French name in case anyone in America cares.

Phillipe Bullion is voiced by Stephen Root and according to USIMDB: One of the most prolific character actors working today, Stephen Root has worked alongside many of the biggest names in Hollywood. Born in Sarasota, Root majored in acting and broadcasting at the University of Florida and remains a die-hard Gator fan. After three years of touring the U.S. and Canada with the National Shakespeare Company, Root settled in New York, honing his craft in many regional theaters and starring off-Broadway in 'Journey's End' and 'The Au Pair Man'. His Broadway debut came in 'So Long On Lonley Street', which was followed by the Tony award-winning production of 'All My Sons', with Richard Kiley. A starring role as 'Boolie', in the Broadway national touring company of 'Driving Miss Daisy' with Julie Harris, brought Root to Los Angeles where he now resides. Back on the boards, he recently starred with Helen Hunt and Lyle Lovett in ;Much Ado About Nothing', an LA Shakespeare Production. His first acting role on screen came in George A. Romero's cult horror classic Monkey Shines (1988). After that, many more under-the-radar supporting roles came his way until he found some moderate fame in the acclaimed series "NewsRadio" (1995), where he played the somewhat eccentric owner of a radio station, Jimmy James, with Dave Foley as the station manager. The show ran from 1995 to 1999. Root has played more eccentric characters in recent years, voicing several characters in the hit animated TV series "King of the Hill" (1997), a show created by and starring Mike Judge. Judge would later cast Root in another cult classic film, 1999's Office Space (1999), where Root played the squirrelly and unforgettable Milton Waddams, a man who is pushed around at work and has a fetish for Swingline staplers. More recently Root has worked with such directors as the Coen brothers and Kevin Smith creating more oddball characters as well as making guest appearances on numerous TV shows. He started in 1988 in the movies Monkey Shine and Crocodile Dundee 2. Buzz Lightyear of Star Command as Sheriff is his DTVA debut and then he did The Legend of Tarzan as Theodore Roosevelt, The Proud Family as Mr. Andrews, Brandy & Mr. Whiskers as Santa Claus, and Gravity Falls as Bud Gleeful. Milo as Roger is his most recent credit. He has 175 acting credits and 10 self credits to his resume.

He has black blueprints (Irony!) as Junior is eating a big ass lobster with an apple in it's mouth as Philippe and Senior exchange notes about some club, having an active retirement as Junior reveals that Senior wants to take over the world and make Drakken a laughing stock. Kim Possible has already done that four times already; and DNAmy did it at the end of Partners. Philippe is from the Billionaires club and they are for discretion and obscene personal fortunes. Senior claims that his tactics are pricey but he has enough for the club. Philippe however proves to be a piss ant because apparently; Senior is fighting an American cheerleader and it reflects poorly on the club as he showed in some Euro magazine. And yes; Philippe loves fish eggs; you have a problem with that? Senior asks about that and Philippe is kicking Senior out of the Billionaires club and steals the entire stuff on the table including the lobster claw leftover. Prick. Apparently; this is some rib on Disney's family friendly image (an old man beating on a female teenager? For SHAME~!) and we head back to Middleton school. I see whomever drew the flag drew it as an X design for the stars. So we see Kim and Ron at the table in the lunch room which seems to have window seating now. We pan over to Bonnie and the cheerleaders as a female wearing red pants, pink shirt and has brown hair and might as well be Bonnie's Kim Possible clone. Bonnie addresses her as Amelia as they talk more about Animalogy and she blows off the cheerleaders because according to Animalogy; a red otter and a lavender mouse have a major conflict together. Oooookkkkaaaayyyyy. Amelia walks away as Kim asks Ron if he completed the Animalogy test and Ron did and Kim asks if he's a blue baboon. Ron calls it worse because he's a pink sloth who is an outcast, follower and smells of overripe fruit. Ummm; Ron, that's Kit Cloudkicker you just spoke of. POW! OUCH! Hey...And before I forgot...

Amelia is voiced by Carly Pope and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Pope started her career with several small roles, such as Disturbing Behavior, Snow Day, and Night Man, before being cast as Sam McPherson on the WB's high-school drama Popular. After the show ended, Pope had several roles in film and television, including The Glass House, Jeff Probst's Finder's Fee, and Orange County. In 2004 she had starred as Maya Kandinski in The Collector. In 2005 she was a guest-star in an episode of FOX's Tru Calling and played an aspiring social worker in the film Eighteen. In 2007, Pope starred in the Power Up project Itty Bitty Titty Committee,[2] and in Martin Gero's intelligent sex comedy and Toronto International Film Festival hit, Young People Fucking. In 2009, she appeared in FOX's hit thriller, 24, as Samantha Roth, the president son's girlfriend. Pope joined the main cast of the short lived NBC courtroom drama series Outlaw in 2010.[3] She started in A Girl's Guide to Kissing and Other Nightmares in Teenland in 1996. Kim Possible is her DTVA debut and only appearance. This Last Lonely Place and Baja Dunes are her most recent credits. She has 64 acting credits, three producer credits (Highway of Tears, Break A Leg, Rosie and Everyone) and one camera credit (Sandra Goes To Whistler) to her resume. Oh; and also socially inept which sadly means...they were ribbing on Baloo. What a shock?! Ron blows off the smell part; but Rufus screws him by coming out with a rotten banana peel. HAHA! Ron blows off Rufus and walks out without the Animalogy book which Kim calls a stupid book...and then steals it and reads into it. Apparently; a multiplex is sold out of tickets for a big ass movie and Kim gets inspired.

So we scene change to a swimming pool area which looks like a prison with barbed wire on top of the walls. Junior is relaxing on a lawn chair in front of the swimming pool reading Animalogy in his bathing suit. At least in theroy. Senior is pacing around behind him and the biggest thing to note is the sun lamp looks like the biggest light bulb in history. Megavolt would have a complete organism seeing that. Junior asks the age old question about being a tree and what kind of tree would he be and Senior proclaims that he would be one who is banned from the Billionaires club. Junior wants dad to go somewhere else but Senior is a heel and wants revenge as he goes over to a table with a blow of ice cubes and uses the tongs to put them in the glass. Senior wants to freeze the assets of the Billionaires club by causing a stock market crash. Wow; he caused the great recession of 2008/2009! I knew those fraudsters were framed! Junior proclaims that this requires a large freezer and Senior blows him off for speaking literally; and then recoils looking at the ice in the glass. So we head to the dining room of the Possible family as once again me and Kim have to deal with the Tweebs who seem impatient. Thankfully; Ann and James are there to make sure the Tweebs don't do anything stupid and lame although with James it's difficult when he's reading the newspaper at the dinner table. The Tweebs want to eat as Ann (who is in full motherly mode today in terms of looks) wonders what is taking Kim so long. So we head to Kim's room as I discover that it's in the attic. Why? I have no idea. Kim is sitting down at her desk doing the Animalogy test and still is on the same question and changing her answers like a cheater. Ann comes up asking why she hasn't come to dinner yet and Kim gets all frustrated and wants them to start without her. Ann asks what is swamping her and Kim admits that it's Animalogy. She only doing it for laughs of course as Ann decides to put her plate in the microwave and Kim claims that she'll be here in a few minutes.

So we head back outside Kim's home AFTER HAPPY HOUR as we see Ann in her nightgown with hot coco calling for Kim to go to bed from below the attic and Kim turns off the lights and waves good night. Ann leaves for bed as Kim is on her bed with the flashlight and looking at more Animalogy as we head to morning as Kim comes down the steps and kisses James on the cheek and proclaims that she is a blue fox. James is confused calling it super and then we scene change to James reading Animalogy? Does that make any sense? James reads that a blue fox is a born leader, can't resist a challenge, driven to excel and a perfectionist. We discover that blue foxes like yellow trouts so Ron is out of the running as James thinks Kim is looking for a soul mate way too early. Ann calls it a phase and the whole thing is a silly teenage fad. James then asks her what kind of person is Ann and James is a beige raccoon while Ann is a teal cat and then yell soul mates while holding hands. Oooookkkkaaaayyyyy. So we head back to Middleton school with the same shot we saw earlier on as Kim is in the hallway hearing various female characters talk about yellow animals; but no yellow trout as Kim makes it to her locker and Ron cuts her off at the pass. Ron calls Animalogy bogus and Kim thinks Ron is engaging in hyperbole. Ron blows that off because he's NOT a pink sloth and Rufus agrees with him. Apparently; he is discovering that Baloo is a gray SLOTH bear and comparing Ron to Baloo is not cool. Wade interrupts Kim because he has "important" information that is of the highest priority and Kim wants to deal with it later. Ron on the other hand wants to hear about it as a change of pace from the Animalogy garbage. So Wade reveals that he was going through database to find a yellow trout. UH OH! Ron gets on Kim's case on taking the test. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Projection much there Ron?! Kim defends herself because she's a blue fox and cannot resist a challenge. Ron does the Gruffi pose. Ron; doing a Gruffi pose only amplifies the projection; not deletes it.

So we get the same outside school shot again which makes no sense because when we return we see Ron and Kim walking in the hallways. Why would you do that when it basically the same scene? Because the animators are talentless hacks and cannot do a walking scene properly which is hilarious considering that Wang Films did a good walking sequence in Sheepskin Deep! Ron cannot believe Kim took the test and Kim blows it off because she did it for laughs and it's no big deal. Then the FOUR BEEPS OF DOOM finally appear at the 31 minute mark; after 13 minutes of beep free action. Kim then foolishly asks who is the yellow trout. HEE HEE! Ron gleefully counters that for me. Yeap; just for laughs KP, keep saying that. Wade has nothing on the yellow trout but there is a hit on the site from Pop Pop Porter. Kim has no idea what Wade is talking about and Ron calls her out on it because Pop Pop Porter is a revolutionary in the heat and snack industry. Wade even shows a bag of mini corn dogs to force the point as Kim dares Ron to read the label on them. Ron stalls and then invokes the Gruffi pose and calls that a stupid move. HAHA! Keep telling yourself that you are not a pink sloth. Kim blows off fried foods which Ron counters that they are flash frozen. Wade puts Pop Pop Porter on the communicator as he's your usual old man with white side head hair and a suit and tie. He's also voiced by Stephen Root by the way as Porter tells us that someone has stolen his flash-freezing cryovator. Wow; Kim has really gone down in IQ in this episode. Ron panics because that means no mini corn dogs and both boys scream no really bad. Kim blows it off and wants information on the cyrovator. Wade then shows Kim a commercial on mini corn dogs as a mini wiener (probably Dumptruck's knowing him) jumps off a diving board into a corn batter and then get on a conveyer belt and we see the cryovator which is a glorified freeze ray which freezes the mini hot dog dead (complete with X eyes) and then we end with Porter on the box speaking. Ron proclaims that Kim would love little doggie (which makes sense since the mini dog acted like a dog after jumping out of the corn batter bowl.

Kim stammers and asks for a ride as Wade states that Porter is on it now as Ron and Kim walk out and there is a blimp shaped like a corn dog. I am not making this up folks. Ron is in awe and giddy about that big ass mini corn dog. Kim is not amused as they walk towards it and we scene change to inside the blimp with a shot of a classic version of the ad with more stylized look. So we zoom out and we are inside the factory as Porter shows Kim the scene of the crime as there is yellow tape barricading the area and a white chalk line around that. Kim goes over the yellow tape as Ron and Rufus sniffle and sob over this. Ron embraces Porter proclaiming that he loves his product and Porter blows him off. HA! Kim sniffs the air and it smells familiar. Kim goes to Wade for air quality analyzing and Wade is checking all factory sensors as the crack Disney Captions team wrote all factory as olfactory. Which Open office sees as a word and it's a real word all right. I mention this because no kid knows what olfactory is. Which makes Disney Captions slightly more intelligent than children. Go figure. So Kim's communicator has a screen shot of a nose that sniffs the air as Porter complains that the biggest tragedy is that all the corn dogs will spoil if someone doesn't eat them soon. Ron and Rofus see the jackpot and we scene change as Ron and Rufus ate all the corn dogs and made the biggest corn dog pile in history. If this was Mr. Krabs; Porter would foot the bill to Ron too. Ron and Rufus are doing the old cliche fat belly spot as Rufus has two dogs and Ron ate the last one. So then we get the FOUR BEEPS OF DOOM about two minutes after the last one and Wade tells Kim that the smell is cologne and very expensive cologne. Custom blended for an exclusive client; and Kim guesses Senor Junior and Wade just sulks right on cue. HAHA!

So we scene change to the prison wall of doom as Kim and Ron are walking up the wall on suction cups as Ron claims that Senior is taking to create a mini corn dog shortage that would make Ron pay through the nose. Kim blows it off because he must be after something bigger. Kim, just because he wants to rule the world doesn't mean Ron's point is automatically invalid. Screwing with people's favorite food is one of many ways to rule the world. And yes; this whole silly thing is a motif now so I'm going to ignore most of this banter. Kim also calls Ron a pink sloth and Ron counters that Animalogy is bogus. Don't you just love it when Kim and Ron are projecting in opposite directions now from where they started? So we climb over to the swimming pool area and then down a hole with rope. We finally see that they are inside Senior's main base and it's somewhat dark as there is the cyrovator right in front of us in plain sight. Ron calls Senior a snack thief as both jump down and Kim smells the cologne and has to back off because there is the robot spider; only it's ten times the size it was at the beginning of the episode. Man; even Larson & Gary are creating steroids for Steel Type Tinymon. Oh wait; wrong show. So Kim and Ron try to bail; but the metal piping tentacles wrap around Kim and Ron as Rufus panics and hides in Ron's pocket. Both kids struggle and in comes Senior and Junior as Senior welcomes Kim to his hideout as the cat and mouse game continues. Ron asks who is the mouse in this gig and Junior claims that it's the babyfaces. Ron blows it off because they were stalking him and that is cattish. Ron demands Senior to let go of the corn dogs and Senior claims that he has no interest in breaded wieners. Kim smiles as Ron blows off Kim thinking blue foxes know everything. Uh huh Ron. Junior notices that Kim has studied Animalogy and Senior blows him off.

Senior proclaims that he intends to prove his heel mettle by flash freezing Kim and Ron to death. Ron thinks he's proven his point already; but Senior claims it's part of the plan as the machine drops Kim and Ron into the conveniently placed conveyer belt with cuffs on it to tie down the babyfaces. Senior proclaims that he will freeze the billionaires club after as Kim blows him off because that thing cannot freeze an entire building. Senior corrects her because it's an island and he has studied the technology as he pulls the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and the floor opens to bring out the cyrovator DX edition Mark 2! Basically as big as the Robot Spider Mark 2! Ron proclaims that the amount of mini corn dogs that can be flash froze with that thing as Kim pulls her feet over and whacks Ron in the face which misses by six inches; but Ron still sells it. Ho hum. Senior proclaims that he'll miss Kim Possible and his rivalry (which is only about two episodes tops at this point) as he pushes the red button and the conveyer belt starts as Senior walks up the steps and then calls Junior who is still penciling in his Animalogy book. Junior then jump up and is joyful because he is a yellow trout. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Kim calls this gross and cannot believe it. HAHA! Junior walks out as Ron points to Kim that they have bigger problems as we see the cyrovator spraying icy mist and that ends the segment 36 and a half minutes in. Much better episode so far.

After the commercial break; we see in the skies Senior and Junior in the black helicopter lifting the cyrovator mark 2 as Kim seems more angry with finding out that from Animalogy's point of view, Junior is her soul mate. Ron blows off Kim's new soul mate as Kim orders Rufus to push the red button. Rufus runs over and makes it to the panel with ease; but the red button will not go down at all. Geez; these button as becoming more and more Zipper proof as time goes on. Ron tells Rufus to go inside his pocket and Rufus runs to Ron and goes inside his pocket. He comes out with a half dozen mini corn dogs (probably kept for a snack later on) and Rufus chows down on them for a while; then acts tired at times. After all of them are eaten Rufus slowly returns to the red button which takes a long ass whomping time as Ron calls himself cold when the beam is only four feet away from him. Rufus has enough weight to hit the red button and the machine completely stops and it somehow releases the cuffs on the kids. Well; that was silly. So Kim thanks Rufus as Rufus groans on the red button. Ron cannot feel his feet as Kim pulls him back and his feet are encased in ice. HAHA! Ron tries to stand; but he slides on the floor and crashes off-screen into something. But we never see it as this segue into Kim pulling Ron with her towards the doors near the swimming pool and they enter near a dock where there is a sailboat and pan over to the right as there is scuba gear and a jet ski. Hint! Hint! Ron proclaims that they can manage and we segue to the open water as Kim is driving a jet ski with Ron. Sadly; the footsicles (as mentioned by Ron) are gone now as both are wearing life jackets of course (so we can be safe). Kim proclaims that if Junior is his soul mate than Animalogy is dead to her. Ron concurs with her and Rufus gives off the raspberry for fun.

So to waste some more time; Rufus goes flying for no reason whatsoever and Ron throws the rope as Rufus catches and it's a naked mole rat barefoot skiing. So we head to the Billionaires Club Island as we see various girls in bikinis relaxing in the sun while Philippe is at the table of his Hawaiian restaurant with another rich guy with a dollar sign necklace and a different face; but the same build as Philippe. Philippe mentions Senior never darkening the doors of the club again and then the shadow of doom does exactly that. Winds blow as we see the helicopter with the cyrovator mark 2 over the island as Senior orders Junior to cut the tether line. Junior no sells as he is reading his Animalogy book. Apparently; yellow trout are self centered and Junior proclaims that they make it to sound like a bad thing. Senior is not amused by this (what a shock?) so he cuts the tether lines and starts a long sequence of bringing the solar panels on line just to piss off environmentalists; and then the laser beam comes out of the middle and it shoots ice beams as the denizens of the island panic and flee. The cyrovator mark 2 freezes the doors solid as Philippe tries to open them; but sells it like he's in pain as he is stuck to the door for some reason; even though there's no sign of the ice encasing his hand. Sight. I guess the tongue on the door is a no-no in DTVA. So we continue with Junior reading that the yellow trout is compatible with a blue fox and he would love to meet this blue fox person. So the jet ski lands on the beach as the denizens are getting the hell off the island and a big man steals the jet ski and some others steal Kim and Ron's life jacket. So then we get the FOUR BEEPS OF DOOM 40 minutes in; after seven minutes of beep free action as Wade informs them that there's no plug to pull. Kim asks what to do now and Wade suggests destroying the damn thing; while Ron suggests that they can follow the money. HAHA!

So Kim and Ron run in as we scene change to the helicopter as Junior is looking through the x-ray binoculars; questioning Senior about leaving Kim and Ron to die inside their hideout. Senior claims that they do because it's tradition; which means it's already dead. Senior grabs the x-ray vision as he see Kim and Ron run to the doors while Philippe is and Senior's patience is wearing thin. So now Philippe's hand is blue enough to show that he was frozen to the door as Kim uses the heat laser pen to melt the door and make Philippe's hand red now. HA! Philippe asks Kim about getting his caviar and Kim gives him the stare of doom which causes Philippe to think twice. So Senior notices a huge ice spike underneath Kim and brings out the heat ray from underneath the helicopter and fires on the spike as it falls down; but the babyfaces dodge it easily. Junior asks the perfect question in this sitch: Why not aim it at their bodies? Senior proclaims that if he doesn't get the traditions if heeldom through his head; he has failed as a father. I'm guessing that this is another rib on BS&P hypocrisy when Drake could be shot with a beam and no sell it to boot. So we have Senor flip a switch and it reveals some missiles aimed at Kim and Ron running on the beach; sadly not running in slow motion. Junior reads through his book and then hears Ron's echoing voice about the blue foxes as Senior does the goodbye speech on Kim as he pops the top of the flight stick to reveal a small red button. However; Junior hears blue foxes over and over again as he gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and screams loudly. He then grabs the flight stick and then unintentionally gets the nose up and fires the missiles straight into the cyrovator mark 2 and it explodes on impact. Sheesh; it's just a fad Junior! Lighten up! Kim and Ron dodge the sharpnel for fun and safety as Senior proclaims that he is angry despite acting like a Wuzzles character. Anyone who has read my rants on that shows knows what I am talking about here.

So Junior grabs the transmitter and proclaims that he is the blue fox and that Kim Possible is his soul mate. Kim is in shock which is silly because she already knows that Junior is a yellow trout as Senior grabs the top of the transmitter and blows this off because tradition states that the arch heel cannot date the arch babyface rival. I think this is one tradition we can live without Senor Senior. Junior tries to explain himself; but Senior blows him off as we are returning to the hideout because we need to plot their revenge at once. This is really stupid because Kim already FOUND the hideout and she can just call the cops on him now since they did try to kill her and Ron with a freeze ray. Kim cannot believe that the blue fox saved this one as Ron calls it weird. Kim proclaims that Animalogy isn't all bad as we see the heel fly away stage left on the helicopter. So we return to the exact same shot of outside of Middleton school as we head to a closeup of Kim's locker and Kim unlocks it to reveal a lot of pink and red roses falling out of her locker. So the computer is turned on and Wade is greeting her. Funny spot: one of the pictures on the locker is a stylized picture of Drakken holding a prison sign with the number 83072 or 83092. It's hard to tell as Wade asks if she got the flowers. Ooooooo; do we have a Wade/Kim relationship brewing here? Probably not as Kim states that she has. Wade decides to show her the e-card and we stream it to reveal Junior being romantic and stuff. HAHA! Wade even laughs with me on that one as Kim slams the door shut and calls it so yellow trout. And yes; Junior did blow a kiss on Kim and Ron is so pissed off now because he doesn't want to hear about Animalogy again. Because he is NO pink sloth as Amelia walks in and tells us that a pink sloth would be her soul mate. And then Ron does a complete 180 and starts walking behind Amelia trying to convince her that he is a textbook pink sloth. HAHA! Kim puts a red rose in her hair like William Stansbury did to Rebecca Cunningham in Her Chance to Dream and that ends the episode at 43:29. Great debut for the Senors as the whole Animalogy stuff was just a background thing until Kim and Junior find out that they are soul mates for life. And I liked the finish and ending to this as Senior only loses because of Junior's love towards Kim Possible starting anew. **** 1/4 (85%).

Number One: We begin this one outside Middleton school with almost the exact same shot as the previous episode; except that it includes the gym as we head inside as the cheerleaders are doing the pyramid of the Middleton Mad Dogs sequence. Sadly; this episode came before Ron became the mascot so there is no Ron present. Bonnie is on bottom while Kim is on top as we spell victory despite spelling out Mad Dogs. Whatever you say you misdirecting girls. Fist pumping and singing make Gregory Weagle something something as Kim jumps off and lands with a picture perfect splits onto the floor which should be really chaffing on her groin. Kim calls this a great practice session as most of the girls left; except for Bonnie who is doing her Gruffi pose again. Kim has time for issue ironing so she asks what is her problem and as usual it's Kim in Bonnie's tiny pea brain mind. Bonnie holds arms with Kim and claims that she looks tired. Kim does admit that she flew in from Abu Dhabi this morning. She also saved another ambassador as Bonnie questions her effort as Kim counters that she gave 120% and Bonnie suggests that they need a captain who gives 130% effort all the time. Kim tells Bonnie to take it to the squad as Kim doesn't care if she or Bonnie get the captains job. Bonnie calls her smug-mugged and she proclaims that she will be captain and they give some eye contact violence before leaving. And in the Disney Channel version; we hit the opening...and we return to outside Bueno Nacho as Kim yells that she cannot believe this as Ron agrees with her because Bueno Nacho is downsizing the beans as he tells Rufus to inspect the new burrito on the plate and nothing invasive; just a bean to cheese ratio count. Rufus gets into the burrito and Kim blows off Ron for not listening to her. Ron proclaims that he cannot believe Bonnie is challenging her for captain of the cheer leading squad and then asks about the burrito problem which Rufus screws him out because he ate it all. HAHA! Rufus burps and then passes out.

So we head outside as Kim and Ron walk out of the eatery as Kim proclaims that Bonnie will not stand a chance against her as captain of the cheer leading squad. Ron warns Kim that Bonnie is a dirty cheater and then a trap door opens and Kim falls into it and it closes up quickly. Ron wonders how Kim disappeared and then we see Kim drop into a glass tank chamber in an underground cave of some sort. The top closes and another trap door sucks Kim in as we ride on tubes for a while. We also see it go at such neck breaking speed that the bottom of the tank is on fire. HA! It ultimately lands in a bigger cave like room as the tank finally stops on the ground. Kim pounds on the door demanding to be let out and the doors of the tank open and Kim falls out. HA! Kim demands answers to this outrage as we see a full purple suit, brown haired female with a black patch on her right eye come forward and she tells us that Kim Possible is at headquarters of Global Justice Network. We zoom out to see various males on computers. She addresses herself as Dr. Director which means she is Dr. Betty Director and is voiced by Felicity Huffman and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Huffman made her debut on stage in 1982 and 80's and 90's worked as a rule on stage productions.[5] In 1988, she debuted on Broadway in the role as Karen in David Mamet's play Speed the Plow.[4][5] In 1995, Huffman won Obie Award for her performance in the critically successful play The Cryptogram by David Mamet.[5] In 1999 she starred in the premiere of David Mamet's play Boston Marriage, about the daringly intimate relationship between two turn-of-the-century women, as well as in several other major theatrical productions.[6][7] Huffman debuted on the big screen in 1988 with a small role in the Mamet's film Things Change. Two years later, she appeared as Minnie, a Harvard law school student in the courtroom drama, Reversal of Fortune.

Her other credits include 1992 thriller Quicksand: No Escape with Donald Sutherland and Tim Matheson, The Water Engine opposite William H. Macy, and supporting roles on The Heart of Justice (1992), Hackers (1995), Harrison: Cry of the City (1996) and The Underworld (1997). In 1997 she starred in Mamet's critically acclaimed film The Spanish Prisoner.[5][8] In 1999 she appeared in the Paul Thomas Anderson's ensemble drama Magnolia and television adaptation of 1938 movie A Slight Case of Murder along with William H. Macy.[5] In 2002 she played Lady Bird Johnson in HBO award-winning movie Path to War and made a cameo appearance in the Door to Door, where was shot her husband.[5] She also starred in Snap Decision (2001) with Mare Winningham, Raising Helen (2004) as Kate Hudson's older sister, and Christmas with the Kranks (2004) as Jamie Lee Curtis's best friend. In 2005 Huffman played Bree, a pre-operative transsexual who, on the brink of her transforming surgery, discovered that in her youth she had fathered a son - who is now a troubled teen hustler on the run, in independent drama Transamerica.[5] Huffman's performance in the film Transamerica was praised by many critics and garnered her a Golden Globe Award for Best Actress as well as nominations for Best Actress (Screen Actors Guild) and Best Actress (Academy Awards) and several another awards and nominations. Huffman is now a voting member of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.[9] In 2007, Huffman starred on Garry Marshall's Georgia Rule with Jane Fonda and Lindsay Lohan, and 2008 on independent drama Phoebe in Wonderland. She made a film, Lesster, as a writer, director and actress in 2010.[10]

Huffman and her husband William H. Macy each received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on March 7, 2012.[11][12] Huffman starred on the television mini-series Golden Years, based on the novel by Stephen King in 1991. In 1994 she starred in the ABC pilot Thunder Alley as Ed Asner's daughter, but was replaced in subsequent episodes by Diane Venora when the series began.[5] In 90's, she has appeared mostly in guest roles on such shows as The X-Files, Early Edition, Chicago Hope and Law & Order. From 1998 to 2000, she portrayed Dana Whitaker in the critically acclaimed series Sports Night, for which she received several awards and nominations, including a Golden Globe Award for Best Actress – Television Series Musical or Comedy.[4] After the completion of Sports Night, she gave birth to her first child and soon returned to work. In 2001, she starred on not picked up CBS pilot Heart Department In 2003, she starred in Showtime's miniseries Out of Order. After a recurring role on the NBC sitcom Frasier, Huffman landed a leading role in an ABC comedy series Desperate Housewives, co-starring with Marcia Cross, Teri Hatcher, and Eva Longoria.[4] Huffman won an Emmy Award for her work on Desperate Housewives (Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series) in 2005, as well as two 2006 Screen Actors Guild Awards (Best Actress - Comedy Series and part of Best Ensemble - Comedy Series) in 2006 and received several other awards. A report in November 2010 suggested that Huffman, along with co-star Teri Hatcher, would be quitting Desperate Housewives,[13] but ABC denied the claim.[14] Series ended in May 2012 after eight seasons.[15] She started in A Home Run For Love as Sara Greene in 1978. Kim Possible is her DTVA debut and only appearance. Rudderless and Trust Me are her most recent credits. She has 45 acting credits, 64 self credits, and directed the short Lesster.

So we cut to the tubes as another tank shows up and it contains an Asian American male with brown hair and is wearing a similar suit to Dr. Director; only with black boots. He walks out and doesn't look thrilled to be doing this job. Betty addresses him as GJ's number one agent Will Du. Betty wants them to follow her and they do; but not before Will Du gives Kim the stink eye. So we head to the roundtable area as we project an image of a blond haired, brown suit guy with glasses on along with a purple tie. Betty addresses him as Silva DeGreene and apparently in the 1960's he created a special missile defense system which Kim proclaims is the Sirens Missile Tracking System which causes Betty to question Kim's sources; which Kim claims she got it on-line. Betty moves onto the next slide as it shows Silva riding a red lawn machine as he's old and wearing peach shirts and blue shorts. Kim states that he's missing and Betty asks if she got that on line; but Kim claims it was an educated guess. Betty cuts to the chase and asks if Kim wants to help Will Du find Silva and Kim asks if Will can talk. Will finally speaks and claims that he can speak dozens of languages. The exact number I'm going to keep a secret since I'm in a hurry to finish this rant on time. Agent Will Du is voiced by BD Wong and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Wong gained attention for his Broadway debut in M. Butterfly opposite John Lithgow. The play won multiple awards, including several for Wong. He is notable as the only actor to be honored with the Tony Award, Drama Desk Award,[3] Outer Critics Circle Award, Clarence Derwent Award, and Theatre World Award for the same role.[4] In addition to his long-running stint on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit as FBI psychiatrist Dr. George Huang, he has had recurring roles in All American Girl and as a prison priest on Oz, with guest appearances on The X-Files and Sesame Street.

On the big screen, he has appeared in The Freshman (1990), the 1991 remake of Father of the Bride and its 1995 sequel, Father of the Bride Part II, Jurassic Park (1993), Executive Decision (1996) and Slappy and the Stinkers (1997). He also provided the voice of Captain Shang in Disney's Mulan (1998) and its direct-to-video sequel. He returned to Broadway as Linus in a revival of You're a Good Man Charlie Brown, alongside Anthony Rapp, Roger Bart and Kristin Chenoweth, and the 2004 revival of Stephen Sondheim's Pacific Overtures. In 2008, he starred in the one-man show Herringbone, in which he portrays 11 roles, at the McCarter Theatre at Princeton University. He brought the show to the La Jolla Playhouse in San Diego the following year.[5] Wong announced his departure from the cast of Law & Order: SVU in July 2011, to join another NBC police drama, Awake where he portrayed Dr. Johnathan Lee, a confrontational therapist of an LAPD detective (portrayed by Jason Issacs) who lived in two realities.[6] Wong guest starred in a thirteenth season episode of Law & Order: SVU titled "Father Dearest" (which aired May 2, 2012).[7] He started in the television movie No Big Deal in 1983. Kim Possible is his DTVA debut and his only appearance. White Frog as Oliver Young, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and Awake are his most recent credits. He has 49 acting credits and 14 self credits to his resume. Kim is impressed as she tells Betty that this came at an awful bad time with Bonnie trying to take over her role as cheer leading captain and Will asks to speak freely and Betty grants it. Will blows off Kim for being a rookie and Kim proclaims that it's ON BABEE and she's in. Yeah; it was an attempt to bring Kim in and it's so obvious. Betty welcomes Kim into the group.

We then scene change to Middleton school (sign: Procrastinator Club. Meeting Postponed. HAHA!) as Ron and Kim walk out and apparently; the whole situation with the cheer leading captain has been resolved as Bonnie refused to show up for practice and thus Kim is still captain. Ron claims that Kim showed her and we see Will outside demanding assistance from Kim. Kim blows him off because she wants to be an equal partner to him and not an assistant. Ron wants to break the ice; so Will fiddles with the stopwatch and it shoots a wire with a suction cup onto Ron's belly and we discover that it's a stun gun (!!!) Ron and Rufus drop dead on the sidewalk as Kim demands to know what he did to Ron. Will claims that it's standard protocol to shock anyone within one meter of his person. Rufus' body shape is priceless and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Ron then finally stops selling and gets up and we do some kung fu grandstanding from the two before Kim inserts Rufus in Ron's hands and walks stage left. Bonnie shows up and Kim asks about missing practice. Bonnie claims she was setting up a fundraiser as she has a box of some kind. We open it up and it has chocolate bars in them. Bonnie continues to taunt Kim into selling a full box; but won't due to her world saving ways; and Kim claims that she can. Bonnie then brings in a truck loaded with chocolate bars and climbs in. Ooookkkkkaaaaaayyyy; we have the most jealous person in the history of Middleton High School. The truck drives off as Kim blows Bonnie off; but Ron is taking the Bonnie thing seriously now. See; Bonnie has challenged her to sell chocolate bars and that cannot be ignored. Ron wants Kim to use him to sell the chocolate bars because he's a natural salesperson as he demonstrates that by trying to sell chocolate bars to Will; the same Will who almost killed him with the stopwatch stun gun about a minute ago. Will no sells all despite Ron being hilarious; and then Ron goes over to Kim and blows him off for being stiff and a bad example. So Rufus shows Will a chocolate bar and Will pays him for it. HAHA! Ron has the Gruffi pose on and is not amused. Ron claims unfairness because Rufus is naked. HA!

So we head to Kim's house BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) as we head inside to the dining room as Ann (wearing a full purple suit this time) asks about Will and we meet and greet; with Will pulling off the most wooden performance ever seen in a DTVA cartoon. He also praises Ann's research on lasers and cranium effects as well; along with good photography sense as well. Ann whisper yells to Kim to have him come over more often and Kim complains about wanting to get on with the mission. So Ann kisses Kim on the cheek and leaves as Kim puts the communicator on the table as Wade proclaims he has a picture of Silva's house. So he flashes it in a 3D image on screen. Sadly; 2012 still hasn't figured a way to do that in real life, so stereostopic 3D will have to do. So Rufus runs in and sees a VR chair and tries to sit in it; but it disappears. Will proclaims that he has already seen the scene; but Kim hasn't and she wants Wade to enlarge the point of entry and we see that an explosion hit the wall. Kim notices a fragment of a white piece of material and wants Wade to fill in the blanks as we do an analysis on the fragment and it appears to be a golf ball. Will gets all stereotypical on old people in general as Kim asks if Silva has been on line and Wade claims he does it a lot on mostly gardening issues and Will turns off the communicator and blows off this pointless waste of time. Kim states that Silva's missile defense is in libraries now since it was invented 40 years ago which only serves to piss off Will. Will is about to leave; but Kim notices the another trace element which is hyper active acid; which is used in black market fertilizer. Ron proclaims that it's time to find the seller of black market gardening supplies; which Ron has no clue where. HAHA! So we scene change to a middle eastern town AFTER HAPPY HOUR as it is empty as Ron's head.

So we pan over to a store as Kim proclaims that if it's illegal, they will sell it. Ron blows it off because he needs buyers as he shows a fistful of chocolate bars since they need to beat Bonnie. Kim shrugs it off because Bonnie sucks in marketing chocolate bars. Funny how Kim Possible is acting like a rational adult instead of a teenager here? It's called character development; something few creators can pull off successfully. Kim opens the door and we are inside the middle eastern house as various adults are kneeling on pillows wearing red hats like they are from the American Legion. Or something. We see a fat man eating grapes wearing a white shirt and I swear to god he looks like the same guy with the dollar sign necklace from Animal Attraction who was talking to Philippe. He probably IS that guy as Kim gives him a name: Big Daddy Brotherson; a black market trader voiced by Maurice LaMarche. The Brain voice gives it away. So Will pushes Kim and Ron aside and Will and Big Daddy exchange words which leads to Daddy calling out for his thug and it's a fat guy in a black suit with the legion hat. We go off-screen to outside the store as Will takes the POWER OF THE PUNCH and flies through the paper window and lands into a bunch of stuff with wussy bumps. Sigh. Cut back to Daddy having a laugh as Kim sits down and wants to know who is buying hyperactive acid. Daddy claims that there is only one rule: customer privacy which Kim bribes him with a chocolate bar under his nose. Daddy stammers and asks if it's milk chocolate as Kim sniffs and states that it is; along with creamy nuggets. So we cut to outside (as the continuity checks were smart enough to make sure the window was destroyed) as Ron and Will wait. Kim comes out and sezs one name: Duff Killigan. OH NOES! NOT DUFF KILLIGAN! ANYBODY BUT HIM! Okay; maybe not.

Will has a smart phone of his own which doubles as a database. Kim brings out her communicator as we discover that Duff is a professional golfer who turned to a life of crime because he was banned from every golf course; including mini golf for displaying the most out of control temper in golfing history. Will and Kim seem more concerned about outdoing each other that Ron has to point out that there is a True Scotsman on a bridge about 20 feet away launching golf balls with his club. Seriously; he looks like Flintheart Glomgold; only a human who clearly was banned not because of his temper; but because he got his golf training and equipment from Larson & Gary's Golf Express. That running joke has been going on strong for five years now; ever since the third episode review of Darkwing Duck. Who would thunk it that Larson & Gary injecting steroids into hamburgers would go as far as it did. A golf ball lands in front of them as Ron grabs Kim and Will and flees behind a building as the golf ball explodes off-screen. Ummmm; yeah. Ron checks on Rufus and he's eating a chocolate bar; which Ron blows him off for. Kim tells Wade to check on information on a rogue golfer named Duff Killigon and even Wade is scratching his head over that one. Kim proclaims that she's returning to Middleton to see if Bonnie has done an epic fail on the chocolate bars. And we head back to the gym as Kim is in shock because Bonnie did outsell her and is the captain of the squad now. And just to rub it in she throws the new yellow uniform at Kim which shows that Bonnie's fashion sense is on par with Gedo. The girls back up Bonnie of course as Kim is surprised that Bonnie is working too hard and thinks she is up to something. Well; this angle is going nowhere and it's becoming a tacked on item just to make sure kids can relate completely to Kim; which is silly considering that Kim is getting monster over without such plot devices.

So we head to Bueno Nacho as we see Will and Ron at the table. Ron wants Will to see his mad skills with burritos as he squeezes the cheese and meat out of the burrito as it flies into the air and it lands in Ron's mouth with ease. Remember a time when gross out spots were classy and they made somewhat more sense to do them? As I said before; well timed gross out spots are funny; random gross out spots are not. Jimmy Neutron at least got it; Fanboy & Chum Chum didn't at all. Rufus does the same thing with the melted cheese on a nacho as Will is not exactly thrilled. So Ron asks if Will does normal kids stuff and Will claims that he's tutored by the greatest minds in the world as Ron claims that there is no shame in Will's game (Yes; that last one is another of Ron's catchphrases which isn't in this episode) as Will blows him off for Ron calling him an idiot more or less. We get the FOUR BEEPS OF DOOM 54 minutes in after 14 minutes of beep free action. Ron leaves to get Kim as Will seems pissed off of Ron as we head back to the gym as Bonnie finishes her routine and I'm guessing Kim is not allowed in her cheers now. Bonnie calls this giving 150%; as Kim sarcastically counters claiming that giving 160% causes Bonnie to die via spontaneously combustion. Now THERE'S something I want to see happen; only to the Tweebs. Bonnie shrugs it off claiming that she'll hold the fort as Ron appears to inform Kim that Wade found Duff's location. Kim is jelling like mad now and she grabs Ron and walks out wearing the Gedo cheer leading dress. I think that's more embarrassing than Bonnie beating KP as we head outside of the school as Kim is blowing off Bonnie and Ron thinks Kim is tweed. Kim denies it as she calls Wade on the communicator and wants a ride. Wade points out what Ron points out and Kim tells him to piss off and call for a ride.

Wade does that and we see a huge shadow over Kim's head and it's a hot red flying like airplane with hover abilities. We discover as Will arrives that it's Will's ride which is given to top agents in Global Justice called the GJ Hoverjet. Will offers Kim to go first and Kim walks away with Ron in tow. Well; he did said ladies first and Kim went first, so Ron is safe I guess. So we head to a sky shot of an island complete with bagpipe music AFTER HAPPY HOUR as the GJ Hoverjet arrives and Ron calls this Killigan's Island; which is greeted with eye contact violence from Kim and Will. Why? Ron is as confused as I am as we slowly touch down on Killigan's Island and we discover that the island has a golf course to boot. Probably invented by Duff; so it's not on the ban list, I guess. So we land on the golf course (considering that Duff has ROID RAGE; this is not a smart move on Will's part.) and go inside the castle as Ron sees a double door and panics because it screams dungeon. Will and Kim agree and we go downstairs to the dungeon area. Geez; for a bunch of snobs; Kim and Will are somehow co-existing which does hurt the whole point of the episode. There is grass everywhere as Will concludes that Duff wants the missile control system while Kim disagrees because Duff kidnapped Silva to steal his winning formula for lots and lots of grass. Sounds like Kim has taken Ron's place in the whacky stuff. I think the irony is lost on Kim; I know it's lost on Ron because he's more in awe with seeing a turf covered dog barking. Kim goes over to a pea-like turf pod and deduces that she found Professor Silva. Kim asks if he's all right and we hear mumbling as Ron brings out Rufus and Rufus uses his teeth to cut through the turf as we finally see Professor Silva wearing a cyan blue shirt with splashes on it.

And yes; Silva speaks here and I have no clue who voiced him (probably LaMarche or Brian George) as we discover that he invented Super Grass as Will asks about debriefing on the missile defense system and Silva claims that you can find his work in a public library. Sounds to me; Will is way behind the times as Ron has a bonus question which is what is Duff planning with said super grass. You know you suck as an agent when RON F'N STOPPABLE has a better question than you. And here comes Duff Killigan from the top of the step as he acts like a child trying to get picked to answer a question at school. And Duff is so stereotypically Scottish that he is annoying me. Kim proclaims that Duff is using the grass to cover the world in one global golf course which would be a hilarious sight; but not really good when it comes to tourist nor the environment. I know Duff is annoying because he keeps calling Kim a "lassie". Will runs up to try to pick a fight with Duff; but Duff slams the door and locks it from the outside. Will tries to open the door; no dice. So Kim decides to turn the tables on Will's chivalry and uses the laser pen to cut through the lock of the door. Door opens and Duff is waiting for them with his bag of golf clubs. If this were Looney Tunes; Kim Possible would win by playing golf with him. So Will runs in and Duff trips him with the golf club which sends Will sliding into the carpet and he hits the wall with a really wussy bump. Jeepers; he is turning into the unemotional Drake Mallard now. Kim wants Duff to put down the golf clubs and Duff goes all Charles Heston on us (first death reference of the episode) as he brings out the 5W and we whack golf balls conveniently placed on the ground. Kim dodges all; as Will pops up and a golf ball does better bumping off of Will's head which knocks him out. I think Nightflight is confusing Will with Ron Stoppable here.

So Duff admires is golf skills which gives Kim enough time to grab two golf clubs conveniently bolted on the word in an X sign; which Duff blows off because she ruined his coat of arms. Oooooooooooo... Kim plays spin a roo with the mini golf clubs thus giving new meaning to the term mini golf. Kim agrees to put back the coat of arms as long as Duff gives everything back to Silva. Duff decides to play "spin the golf clubs" and no sells because he has Krackpotkin plans for that formula as we play "golf hockey" for a while. Golf Hockey = hockey where high sticking and spearing are not only legal; they are mandatory. Even better if they use real golf clubs too. The coat of arms golf clubs snap the golf clubs of Duff. See what happens when you buy your golf clubs from Larson & Gary? So Duff brings out two more and tries again; but Kim manages to whack them away from Duff's cold, dead hands. Duff is pissed off as he goes to the emblem button on top of the conveniently placed fireplace and a trapdoor drops beneath Duff's feet and he gets WARNERED; but this one is intentional on Duff's part. Ron gleefully sums up this whole episode in a nutshell. The babyfaces run out of the castle as we see a Scottish colors blimp flying in the sky as we run on the golf course for a bit. Kim tries to stop Will as Will blows her off for letting Duff get away. Kim is trying to tell him that he should be more careful; and Ron agrees because we get the dreaded quicksand trap. HAHA! Finally; a use for that spot that fits perfectly in the context of the episode. Flintheart should have been a golfer; then Golden Suns part two would look slightly less contrived. They are sinking slow into the goo; will we miss thee as we end the segment 59 minutes in. Well; that took a long time. Decent episode thus far...

After the commercial break; we see them stop sinking for no reason whatsoever (thus showing that it's not bottomless; which is better) as Ron wants them to have a plan and fight over the best plan so they can get out of here. Silva cannot speak as the goo is covering his mouth. Will suggests using the ECM device; and even Kim agrees with him. Sadly; Will put it into the hoverjet of course because Will is not a top spy agent. So Ron calls on Zipp..ERRR..I mean Rufus; and Rufus tiptoes on the quicksand to solid ground and then runs into the hoverjet control room and notices the ECM device placed above him on a rack. Rufus grabs it and we cut to a far shot of the babyfaces not sinking into the sand as Ron is getting used to this now. And yes; Will still thinks Kim is a rookie as Rufus spits out the ECM device from his mouth and it lands in Will's mouth as he clicks on the button and here comes the hoverjet shadow over it as a rope comes down. Kim butts in because chivalry is dead see and Kim uses her teeth to allow the hoverjet to pull her up. Will is annoyed by Kim's mockery of him and Ron basically claims that Will is easily mockable. Almost Al Gore level mockery. So we fly in the skies in the GJ Hoverjet and then go to the cockpit with the babyfaces. Will is talking to Silva; but Kim pushes his face towards the sky because BS&P is watching see. Ron asks where Duff is going to strike and Silva proclaims that he will strike in the first country where he was banned which is Japan. So we head to Tokyo as denizens are fleeing from the streets and driving practice courses because the grass is growing over pavement. That is one crazy roided stuff there as we see Duff running in with bagpipe music bringing in a small box labeled grass seed and a watering container. He tosses some seeds on the pavement and waters them and it grows into a weed similar to the Dragon Pods in Final Fantasy V.

So we see the GJHJ comes in and land as Kim jumps out and demands Duff to stop and Duff no sells because the Pacific Rim is his driving range now as he plants more seeds and waters them. MONSTER GRASS continues to run wild; including encasing Ron and Will in the GJHJ. Kim keeps doing backflips as Will is frustrated beyond belief and wants to eject. He slams the glass to open the conveniently placed eject button and slams it down when Ron asks where to sit down. The male babyfaces pop out of the GJHJ and do flips over Kim and Duff and Will lands first and Ron squashes him ass first onto Will's back with a decent bump. OUCH! Ron grabs Rufus on the rebound and Duff resorts to the exploding golf balls which wouldn't have hit Kim; even if she didn't back flip away. Duff's golf club then goes all Hanna Barbera on us as we whack more golf balls. Insanity: A Scots' wet dream. The golf balls are in better position this time; but Kim still dodges easily. Ron and Will run in as Kim looks like she's tired and Duff sees this as jackpot; so Will tries the stun gun watch tentacle of death; but Duff completely no sells it. I see Duff's roids contain the inability to sell stun guns now. If only Goldberg had that; Kevin Nash wouldn't have won and destroyed WCW...

...Allegedly.

Ron gleefully tells him to set it at local time as Duff uses the wedge on a golf ball and it misses Kim by about six feet. Kim blows him off as Duffy reminds her that wedges give golf balls backspin. So the golf ball rolls back towards her and she bails stage left off-screen so the golf ball can explode which in any other universe would haven't done anything of note; but the power of BS&P suggestion shows Kim flying and dropping on her ass in the process. Kim notices metal pieces and then a dandelion growing on the grass. Duff proclaims that she is in deep trouble now; but Kim disagrees because she is going to defeat Duff with a dandelion. Duff laughs it off as Kim explains that the flowers of dandelions have dozens and dozens of seeds which she blows into the air and once of the parts of the flower lands on Duff's nose. Kim then steals the watering container and waters Duff's nose and the whole thing starts growing, encasing Duff's body into a sphere of dandelions. Yes; that is the finish folks. When you get beat by a bunch of third rate weeds; you are a jobber with a Scottish accent. Just accept it Duff. Anyhow; Kim asks if she should arrest him; or mow him. Will calls on his watch to get the experts on mowing the grass; but Ron cracks that he should just get a couple of kids to do it. Sadly; Kim doesn't suggest the Tweebs for this; or anyone for that matter as Will calls the humor amusing in the most wooden way possible. Kim is about to walk away; but Duff somehow manages to become the Stay Puff Dandelion as he runs in; so Will uses the stun gun watch again and it works as it somehow pulses through Duff's body and he goes out like a light. I realize that you have to save face since Duff is supposed to be a major heel; but he completely NO SOLD the stun gun so it shouldn't work on him even with the dandelions all over him. Dumb, dumb logic break there guys.

Will comes over and talks in such a contrived manner that he might have learned the languages; but he cannot do public speaking at all. Oh; and Will apologizes to Kim and both shakes hands and make up. Which would have worked better if they didn't go in and out of the angle so many times. And if Will didn't just turn it around and thank Kim for her assistance which gets Kim annoyed as heel. Will waves goodbye and leaves. Kim is pissed now that Will is taking all the credit for this mission as Ron wants to go back home and Kim keeps ignoring him. Ron wants to seriously go back home to deal with Bonnie as Kim loses the whole irony of her moral outrage by blasting Bonnie for actually putting up an effort to become captain of the team...and then she catches herself and walks stage left as she wants to return to Middleton. So we return to the gym as Bonnie has the Gruffi pose on as one of the cheerleaders (the blond hair one so it's Jessica) wants to wait until Kim return to decide the captain as Bonnie blows it off because she wants it decided right here and right now. So Kim walks in and we tease a stare down before Kim finally decides to vote for Bonnie. She admits that Bonnie was working hard to make the squad better so everyone votes for Bonnie and Bonnie is glad this is over. However; Kim tells her that the hard work has only begun because the tasks of a cheer leading captain are hard. Bonnie whines and complains as Kim proclaims that she is happy for Bonnie taking over as Bonnie calls it unfair. Ron bets that Bonnie will last only a month; while Kim gives her two weeks top. Okay; that was pretty clever and it not only gives Bonnie the credit she is due; but also make Bonnie realize that she cannot stop working hard and smart. A good lesson all around as we end the episode at 64:31. I don't like Duff; but this episode was good as it had a funny finish (which they screwed up); a fitting ending that keeps Kim strong without making Bonnie look weak and Ron was his usual smooth self. The Will/Kim thing would have worked better if they have a previous conflict; or hated each other a bit more, but it was tolerable. *** 3/4 (75%).

Showdown At Crooked D: We begin this one with a closeup of Ron with glasses on drinking grape juice from a straw. We discover that he's sitting on a lawn chair on top of the Possible's house as Kim comes in (wearing a white shirt with a heart on it and pink pants) and asks if he is just going to chill on top of the roof of her house all summer. Ron claims that he's marinating which is relaxing for professionals. Ummm; yeah Ron sure. James comes in wearing a blue sweater and some luggage as it's time to roll and Ron gets up because there's no rolling involved in marinating. So Kim explains that they are going for a road trip and Ron is not interested. Then Kim points out that they are going to Montana and Ron's eyes light up. Only in DTVA could Kim and Ron both agree that Montana is awesome. Oh; Kim is visiting her cousin known as Slim Possible and Ron droops down not interested as James mentions that they are going to the Lazy C Dude Ranch and Ron gets up again. Kim mentions that Ann is working this week; so she allows Ron to come along as Ron consults Rufus who is his marinating buddy on his small version of the same lawn chair Ron is relaxing in and Rufus gives the thumbs up on Montana. Ron calls himself sympatico with laziness; so James throws two suitcases into Ron's arms and tells him to go to the car as Ron proclaims that this isn't going to end well for him and the heavy suitcases somehow make Ron collapse and fall on his back with a decent bump off-screen. We fade to black which means in the Disney Channel version; we hit the opening. So we head into an underground cave as Shego comes in with the mail as she throws the bills away. There is a letter and Drakken steals it because it's important. Apparently; Shego was throwing the bills into the fireplace which has a fire set up. HAHA! Good heel tactics there Shego. Drakken opens up the letter and reads it; blowing off the writer for spelling his name wrong. He then gets pissed off because he got rejected and throws the letter towards the flames. Shego grabs it on the rebound and reads it as Drakken applied for the Sara Bellum Genius Society and mocks Drakken for that. You know you are not a genius when even Sara Bellum is rejecting you.

Anyhow; Drakken goes on about being rejected as Shego sits down in a chair reading a book as Shego asks why he wants to go to a dorky club anyway and Drakken claims that he is trying to prove himself that he can be smarter as Drakken is now resorting to Don Karnage level mangling of the English language; only it's not as funny without the accent. Shego is correcting half of the words Drakken is saying as Drakken tries to put various devices together and having no luck as he is just killing the language harshly with his lack of accent speaking. Shego proclaims that if Drakken was talking about the doofus table (Drakken wants a seat in the genius table) he would be a lock as Drakken puts on the goggles and blows her off. Drakken has the purple lenses on the goggles which does not help him get the doofus label off of him in any way. Drakken then gets a brain storm as he won't build himself up to be a genius; he'll simply kill the competition as Shego calls this a bad idea alert commencing. Drakken points to his head and is in evil mode now as we scene change to a shot of the sun with a shadow of a bird circling it. We then pan down as the car arrives at the gate of the Lazy C as stated on the wooden sign above. Sadly; the Tweebs are here as well just to annoy me as Ron is sitting with Kim as he is down to a C in lazy. So everyone gets out as the Tweebs wants to do some roping while Kim tells Ron that this is a working ranch as Ron is confused because he thought it was a dude ranch. We discover that Slim Possible is a cowboy wearing a pink shirt and is voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson who voiced Rock Callahan in Kick Buttowski which is interesting because Slim is certainly not a black character by any stretch of the imagination. But that is one of the biggest advantages to voice acting and cartoons that you can have virtually anyone voice a character and still get it over; where in live action, you have to basically go for looks and build in order to get the character over. And in live action; that can cost a lot of money; even more so if mistakes in casting are made. So James and Slim hug each other for a bit as James is a bit embarrassed which invokes giggles from the Tweebs.

So Slim asks about Ann and James states that she's at work as Kim asks about a certain Joss Possible because when she was talking to her; Joss had a huge surprise in store for Kim. Slim proclaims that Joss is going through a phase when involves idolizing a hero that she is proud of. James relates a story about a certain comic book action hero whose name I'm going to leave as an exercise to the reader. So relax critics of me; you will sleep better not knowing why it's so funny. So James asks who's the lucky hero that Joss (full name Jocelyn which sounds familiar to Gosalyn from Darkwing Duck) has picked and here comes a female girl with brown hair swinging down from a grappling hook proclaiming that she can do anything and lands in Kim's arms. And she is wearing the same outfit that Kim uses to fight evil. That's right folks; Joss is the daughter of Kim Possible and Kim Possible is her idol. Now THAT'S a great angle there because it gives Kim a foil to be annoyed with and also makes Joss look like a million bucks since Kim is the lead of the show and a monster over lead at that. I'm sadden no one tried that with Kit Cloudkicker. I know they did it with Baloo; but Baloo was more than just something for Kit to idolize and that Baloo was not blood related to Kit at all (despite fanfics saying otherwise), while Joss is blood related to Kim legit. So we scene change to Ron walking like a sumo wrestler which was interesting and then he panics and bails as we see a machine horse with red eyes. So the Tweebs make fun of him and Ron tries to feign bravery; but with the Tweebs around; it's difficult to enjoy this as Kim points out that robot horses are worse than real ones. Ron then proclaims that this happened years ago; which means WE HIT THE FLASHBACK~! So we head to a large Walmart like shop called Smarty Mart which has a brain in graduation gear. I mean it's way too obvious to see what they were shooting for here.

So we see Ron Stoppable inside putting a quarter in the machine riding horse as Ron is wearing a red shirt with what looks to be a picture of a stylized Winnie The Pooh head and blue shorts. The ride doesn't start for goodness knows what reason and then he rises up a bit and the horse goes out of control and Ron has to hang on for dear life with the manga background in for a speed effect as we head back to reality (no, not really) before we see Ron throw up or cry. Okay; I get that we cannot show vomiting; but no crying. Oh wait; Ron lost two baby teeth as Kim tells Ron that it's time to get over his fear of machine horses. So Joss comes in and does her promo in front of Kim; sounding like a southern redneck version of Kim. That's horrifying. Ron proclaims that if he were Kim; he would have done it a long time ago. Joss claims that there's a first time to try; so Ron slowly walks to the horse trying to go all "nice horsey" which is the dumbest thing you can do to any animal as cartoons have shown me throughout the ages; and the machine horse is a simulated animal and his red eyes glow and he snorts smoke and generally goes wild. The horse kicks the fence down as Ron cowers in fear and then the horse stops as Slim comes in and apparently; that horse has a car starter in it. We discover that there are bugs in it as we also discover that the horse is run on a solar power core. Ron tries to weasel word his fear claiming that he was trying to tell Rufus that and Rufus goes all Yee Haw on us. Slim wants to go to the general store in town to get some supplies and needs James' help. So James tells the Tweebs to behave and they of course lie through their teeth. You wish you tweebs were Molly Cunningham squirts! Joss tugs on Kim and wants to show her some things she is involved with as Kim and Joss leave. So we scene change to the general store which has a western theme to it and like Walmart in the real world; it's a Smarty Mart.

So we head inside the Smarty Mart as Slim is wheeling the shopping looking for food. Don't ask me; I don't speak redneck very well at all. James talks about being a happy camper if he makes five alarm grub and Slim calls James a tin horn because Professor Ramesh, and two other scientists are with him who don't speak. We make some small talk for a bit as we discover that the professors are in Montana for a science genius convention and James wasn't invited; but Ramesh was. Guess it wasn't a smart move to fire that rocket prematurely eh James? James proclaims that he doesn't mind staying with Slim; as long as he knows why he didn't make the cut. So we get a shot of outside as we see various cowboy denizens walking around; including one of the scientists who was with Ramesh in the previous scene. So we get a shot of a window of the local Sheriff's office as we see Drakken dressed up like a cow...BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is the most hilarious cowboy outfit I have ever seen as he's wearing pink to clash with his blue face. He wonders if all the smarty pants are here and Shego is sitting at a desk with her feet up proclaiming that all the poindexters are here. Only Shego could insult the babyfaces and the lead heel all in one shot intentionally. Usually; the heel gets insulted unintentionally in this situation. Drakken cuts his usual hilarious pompus promo which is so absurd (and the cowboy outfit only makes it worse) that Shego has already declared this one for the fail column. HAHA! Drakken then sounds like a whiner and pulling the cowboy hat in frustration while Shego does nothing. HAHA! So we head to Joss's room and it basically a western version of the same attic as Kim's room; only it's plastered with posters and images of Kim Possible in various outfits. Many look like stock PR photos as Ron basically calls Joss a stalker without the charm of Jackie Whackerman. Okay; he said that Joss has an obsession with Kim Possible. Happy creeps?!

Kim is flattered with the attention; but Ron is pissed off because there are no pictures of him and the billboard is blank. Joss then talks about Wade and how important he is to the operation which is funny mostly because of Ron's reaction of having to play third fiddle to the trio. Although it's more like invisible fiddle or even fourth fiddle because you have to count Rufus into the conversation. Ron tries to point out that he's the sidekick with Kick and it's not ringing a bell to Joss; so Ron brings out Rufus and she remembers the number of times he has saved the day as she does the dough boy poke on Rufus which Rufus sells. And now Joss remembers because Ron keeps losing his pants. HAHA! Ron takes exception (because it only happened eight times tops) and Ron should just leave; because she isn't buying what Ron is selling; even if Ron is selling facts and evidence. So we head inside a slightly dark room with a tree inside as Slim and James enter the security control room. There are monitors set up to view the whole Crooked D area because according to James he is looking for tin horns. Slim concedes that he has some experience with technology; but it's not even close to mastery as James Possible. James doesn't think so though as Slim thinks he is to him. James would like to know who put up the guest list as we head into the middle of town as Professor Ramesh and about eight scientists are in cowboy outfits (I think two of them were with Ramesh) as we hear Drakken's voice beckon as he wants all the cowboys to put on their cowboy hats and become buckeroos and buckeroottes. Ramesh is giddy as he puts his cowboy hat on and then he goes blank on us and then starts dancing singing "The Farmer In The Dell" for no reason that I can think of. Then we get the other cowboys acting like idiots including one acting like a dog; one crawling like he's horse riding and one getting in the window in Shego's face in the Sheriff's office. Drakken explains that he has invented something called the silly hat which Shego claims it's less silly than his outfit. SCORE! Drakken proclaims that anyone wearing it turns into a silly idiot. Basically; down to the level of Drakken's ability more or less. HA!

So Drakken goes on about babbling baboons as Ramesh flips his lips so to speak and Shego sees the plan now as Drakken does his usual evil laugh and we fade to black which means it ends the segment 73 minutes in. After the commercial break; we head back to Joss's room at the Lazy C ranch as Joss is sitting down while Kim is relating stories about her fights with Drakken. Joss even remembers the incident involved a building made of cheese. Ron looks at the billboard and thinks he found himself with Kim when Duff was busted in Tokyo. I was guessing that was the incident with the roided grass in the previous rant; but it shows a Japanese school girl; so it cannot be unless Ron was implying that Will is a girl when it's clear that he's not. Joss pretty much confirms it (and I won't be surprised if this actually happened in the show) and Joss keeps cutting off Kim every time Kim tries to explain her adventures. You know; this would be a lot more fun if Joss wasn't such a know it all because Joss is sucking the life out of this angle somehow. So Kim wants to talk about Joss and Joss ends that with saying that she wants to be Kim. Ron exits the room; having enough of this angle and I don't blame him. Joss is becoming officially annoying now; not because of the southern accent, or even speaking so fast; but acting like she knows all that, which she isn't all that. Kim wants to change the subject and go outside and offers to let Joss pick the task. So Joss picks whatever Kim wants and Kim plops on the bed flustered. Okay; that was funny, but I could live without the know it all streak. And Joss is voiced by Tara Strong in case I forgot. So we see James practicing the fine art of not being seen by Slim or the Tweebs who are doing lasso tricks outside. He goes into the security room and fiddles around with the controls trying to get an adjustment to the signal and of course Ron comes in and startles him. HAHA!

Ron accuses James of spying on Crooked D and James blows it off as Ron notices on the monitor Professor Ramesh is doing the Homer chicken circle spot from The Simpsons which seems so wrong considering that Brian George is the voice of Apu. James blows off the scientists for basically mocking him and he's going to Crooked D with or without an invitation. Ron and James walk out as Ron thinks this is better than dealing with Joss' ignorance of the Ron factor. Yeah; good move Ron. YOU DON'T DISS THE RON FACTOR BABEE! So we head back to Joss' room as Joss is lying on the bed and she is still going on about Kim Possible's deeds and misdeeds that I wish she would show and not tell. And then we zoom out and Kim is gone and she yells for Kim as Kim has locked herself up in the bathroom. She calls for Wade on the communicator and ask for something that she requires someone for help. Wade asks why and Kim states that her sister is her number one fan. Wade calls it sweet which shows how much of a dork Wade Load is. Kim proclaims that she liked the idea at first; but she's annoying now. Wade calls it the price of fame and proclaims that she doesn't know how many people stare at him at the computer store. Prediction: One; and it's the store clerk. We then cut to outside the bathroom as Joss is looking for Kim and then hears Kim outside yelling that Kim needs to get a life which is her own as Joss' live shatters before her eyes and runs off. Kim then realizes that Joss heard her and opens the door; but she's long gone now. Well; someone had to say it at some point before she got so annoying that only a shot gun would stop her.

So we return to Crooked D as the scientists are still acting like complete fools and yes; a mop is involved. The Shane Douglas joke is now dead since Ric Flair's legacy is even deader than Shane's if that was humanly possible. So we see Ron, James and Rufus hiding behind a yellow building as James gleefully states the obvious for us. Ron claims that they are just letting their hair down as Ramesh is hanging all over James and even Ron thinks Ramesh crossed the line. NO?! REALLY?! The fact that he ignored James and raspberried him didn't seem sick and wrong? So we head on top of the roof of the saloon as henchmen #1 and henchmen #2 are drinking and watching as #2 notices the male babyfaces and he talks to #1 to go inform Drakken who does and calls them varmints. So we head to the Sheriff's office as Drakken has zero clue what henchmen #2 is talking about and orders Shego to speak to them because she knows redneck to English. Shego is still at the desk in the same position filing her nails despite wearing gloves. Might as well get the rest of this out of way: #2 sounds like Rock Callahan; so it's Kevin Michael Richardson; and #1 sounds like Keith Rogers. There is a female voice actress also involved; but I have no idea what voice she did so... Additional voices are done by Keith Rogers and Elyssa Livergant. Elyssa did six other productions besides Kim Possible: The Wall as Medic, The Passion of Ayn Rand as Naomi, Life With Judy Garland: Me & My Shadows, Final Jeopardy, Undergrads and Documentary Bootcamp as Dora. That's it. Kim Possible is her most recent credit. As for Keith Rogers; he has only one acting credit (which is Kim Possible) to the best of my knowledge; but he is also a sound re-recording mixer according to USIMDB and he has 198 sound editing credits to his resume. DTVA shows: Tron Uprising (his most recent credit) and Teachers Pet (movie only). Started with A Friend to Die For in 1994 and also did restoration sound editing for the following Disney Feature Movies: Bambi, Lady & The Tramp and Cinderella.

So Shego speaks on the phone and her attempt of being a hick is so hilariously bad that she could star in a spoof on Republications as Sara Palin. ZAP! OUCH! Ummmmm...Drakken gets on her case because he still doesn't know what varmints mean. HAHA! Drakken; watch some Bugs Bunny westerns and get your head out of the gutter you call "genius". So we head inside Joss' room as Joss is sitting on the bed looking at the wall. Kim comes up and apologizes for acting like a jerk and Joss continues to cut her off; not blaming her and acting like Kim in So The Drama. Wow; just wow. Kim is trying the old "I'm just a regular person routine" which is a mainstay for mainstream members of the right who project themselves as ordinary when they are more elitist than most mainstream members of the left. And even Joss is picking up on that little trick Kim is trying too. Joss still thinks Kim does incredible stuff and that's why she emulates Kim. Kim wants her to be herself because it's cooler and Joss isn't buying it. No surprise there; when your sister is ALL that; you cannot help but to emulate her. Anyhow; we hear Slim's voice and Kim and Joss come in doing the "What's the sitch?" promo in stereo. HAHA! Joss apologizes but Kim sees it as no big deal. We look on the monitors as we see Ron and James surrounded by henchmen and Shego welding red electrical steel cattle prods. Oooookkkkkaaaayyyyyy; someone is clearly over compensating for their own short comings here. Joss calls it spanking as Kim calls it serious. Joss proclaims that this is great because Drakken is next door and thus something has finally happened here and it's major. Kim proclaims that she is afraid of this as we segue to Ron and James in jail as the cell door slams shut. Drakken calls Ron a lackwit which Ron takes it as Drakken insulting James Possible. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA! Now that the funniest projection I have ever heard in DTVA history. 1/2* for that spot alone. James blows off Drew as Drakken blows him off because he's Doctor Drakken; which James blows off because he's the epic fail known as Drew. Drakken proclaims that he already has gotten away with his plan as Ron asks how he's doing it.

Drakken proclaims that this is for him to know; and them to find out. James then basically tells Drakken that the hats contain microchip when dumb down the scientists down to Spongebob Squarepants clones; at least that is the implication; to make Drakken seem smarter. Drakken is pissed off for James ruining the fun of this capture as Shego comes in to inform Drakken that it runs in the family because a Possible posse has shown up above the grass cliffs as Drakken is in shock. We then head to the cliffs as we see Kim, Joss, Slim, Tim and Jim riding the machine horses. So Shego and the henchmen show up on black horses as Shego whistles and Slim notices them right away with the ultra cool tentacle binoculars. Joss asks if they can take them on; and Kim and the Tweebs proclaim that anything is possible when you are a Possible. So we ride down as Jim and Tim invoke the LASSO OF BANE OF ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE (and this is an action cartoon. Dammit!) and they loop the heels and bang them together allowing the cattle prods to shock them dead. Three more henchmen stalk Slim; so Slim's horse rises up (after Slim cuts a promo about magnet hooves being a horse's best friend) and the hoove catch the cattle prods and then the horse stomps on them to destroy them. Five down and four to go as Kim and Joss go down as Kim dodges the two cattle prod horse rider and goes straight for Shego for the first ever fight between Shego and Kim (#5 in the rants) on horses. Works for me and Shego's the only one who rides a gray horse. Must be her tweener side flaring up again. So Kim gets stomped off and has to backflip onto the ground as Shego heads straight to Kim with the hooves; but Kim dodges and climbs back on the horse with ease.

So Joss rides around town as we get the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE HORSE OF DRAKKENS EDITION for a while; including some neat FPS shots and it ends with Joss being shorter than the henchmen and they get MURDERED into the conveniently placed "boot" sign and knocked off their horses. That would leave one henchmen and Shego left as we cut back to Shego and Kim fighting on horses. No wonder Joss is such a fan of Kim Possible. So this goes on for a while as Joss follows Kim and Shego blast the wooden canopy of the saloon building and appears to have crushed Joss; but when Kim turns around and returns, Joss is nowhere close to the damage. That is so BS&P that it's not funny. So Kim wants to tackle the Sheriff's office as she uses the grappling hook onto a water tower and swings into action stage right. Joss stops and fires her grappling hook onto a rail. Why? So she can screw Kim Possible over silly! And she collides with Kim and that ties them up as the tweebs and Slim ride in and the electric red gate of fear rises up forcing them to be boxed in. Shego thanks Joss for advancing the plot in roundabout terms and that ends the segment 81 minutes in. Joss is much better when she doesn't talk too much and that last spot proves it. Good bump too.

After the commercial break; we see the babyfaces in jail as Kim tries to grab the keys; but they are way too far away. Joss admits blame for the entire thing as Slim tells her that she cannot mimic everything she sees from Kim Possible in the most honest way without being blunt. That is a great moment from Slim actually. James then takes up for Joss because he was a nosy parker which Kim blows off as Ron takes up for James. Anyhow; Ron brings out Rufus as he tries to grab the keys on the throw; but that fails. Rufus sits on the red stool (NOT THAT ONE!) as Ron goes to kangaroo rat as Rufus jumps up and grabs the key; but the hook drops down and sounds the alarm. Drakken? Grew a brain? In this universe? Nah; Shego must have done that one. Anyhow; Rufus flops onto the ground just as Drakken and two henchmen with cattle prods walk in. D'OH! Drakken grabs the key and mocks the babyfaces for being idiots without silly hats. Drakken throws Rufus back in with the prisoners. James asks one question to Drakken as he calls him Lipski again. Drakken grants him the question which is: Why wasn't James invited? Drakken proclaims that he refused because he is a Possible and his plan would have been screwed otherwise. Slim hears some beeping and takes out a device as Drakken demands answers to this and Slim claims that it's just "Old Tornado". UH OH! I do not like where this is going Drakken. Drakken ask who the hell is Old Tornado and Slim uses the little stick on the device and the doors fling open and it's the machine horse as he uses the magnet hooves which rip out the cell door and completely rip Drakken's pants off. HAHA! I'm shocked Ron didn't taunt Drakken after THAT one. The babyfaces thank Slim as Kim and Ron get on Old Tornado as Kim has the controls; but Shego hops in OUT OF NOWHERE and steals them.

So Shego is on the desk playing with the world's tiniest joystick which shows how lonely she really is and Kim and Ron are buck-and-near-rooing into certain death. Old Tornado goes outside as Kim somehow gets knocked off and hits the wooden rail where the horses drink. Geez; so even dropping into the horse trout is banned now? I'm shocked Toon Disney didn't just cut out Clementine landing in the water trout in Citizen Khan. So Ron is holding onto the tail and has lasted longer than Kim Possible ever could. So that's one thing Ron can do OVER Kim. That is just sad folks. The other babyface run out as Kim climbs onto the rail as Shego is controlling the thing and Shego demands Kim surrender; or Ron gets bucked like Team Rocket minus the distance. Slim is powerless to do anything (just now?) so the tweebs lasso Shego with the LASSO OF BANE TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE and manage to tie up Shego; but then she uses the neon green beams of death and they actually hit the tweebs knocking them down. Sadly; Shego's powers have been wussifed by BS&P so much; the tweebs don't even sell it calling it unfair. I club BS&P; with lots of pain and suffering. Kim is mad and tries to get to Shego; so Shego blasts the rail and Kim finally takes the bump into the drinking trout. I have been proven wrong again. BS&P still sucks though. So Kim notices Joss running to a see saw conveniently placed below a canopy of barrels as she shoots a grappling hook and brings down one of the barrels and then gets slingshot right onto Old Tornado and rides it as she pushes a button on the neck of the horse and the horse finally snorts and stops on a dime as the red eyes go dark. Kim grabs the device from Shego and Shego bails stage left like a scalded dog. Ron asks how Joss talked him out of bucking and Joss points out that she pushes the off button on it which we clearly see along with an on button. Nice attention to detail for once guys. Kim proclaims that Joss can only do that (FACKIN BULLSHEET!) and Kim and Joss embrace.

So we see Drakken walking away wearing a barrel which is downright stupid since we already saw him in his underwear and the joke is older than dirt. Shego comes over and it's time to bail now. Drakken agrees but he wants to cover their escape; so he goes over to the gate and yells at the idiots in silly hats (yes; they were kept there with no rhyme nor reason, why do you ask?) and wants a stampede. They all no sell because they are so dumb and silly. So Shego goes on the fence and starts blasting neon green beams at them and they run like scalded dogs out of the fence forcing Drakken to bail so he doesn't become crushed. Man; BS&P is an asshole today as the heels get on the gray UFO hovercraft and flee the scene to get ready for So The Drama. Sadly; this was pointless because they could have escaped easily without the babyfaces noticing anyway. So the babyfaces notice a good thirty seconds too late that Drakken and Shego have flown the coop and here comes Ramesh and the silly hat scientists stampeding. The babyfaces back off and then James notices the guys and runs in and swipes all the hats away from the scientists to make them stop this stupidity; ending with grabbing Ramesh's hat. Ramesh comes to his sense wondering what happened and James punches through the hat destroying the electronics in it. Silly hat indeed. So we get a shot of a pot of five alarm chili as Slim tastes it and James brings in a plate of corn on the cob as Slim thinks James is not such a tin horn. Kim comes into the kitchen/dining room as she asks where Joss is and Slim claims that she is talking to Ron upstairs in roundabout terms. So Kim comes up and Joss is plastering pictures of Ron Stoppable on the walls as Joss has deduced that Ron is the real hero. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Joss' reasoning for this is that Kim can do anything and it's no big deal; but Ron has lots of fears; but charges in anyway and can buckeroo with the best of them. HAHA! Ron calls Joss whip smart like all Possibles and Kim has no real response to that and we finally end the episode and the Villain Files OAV at 85:37. This should get perfect marks; but Joss' overtalking, BS&P meddling and Jim and Tim not selling Shego's blast really hurt this episode. The rest of it was awesome because it had a funny ending; Joss was good when she didn't talk and the whole evil plan of Drakken's is so fitting for someone who cannot win on brainpower alone. **** 1/2 (90%).

Bonus Music Video Rant: This is "It's Just You" from LMNT; another Disney boy band no one gives a crap about. Still; I like the change of pace with the setting as it is set inside a house with some kids watching Kim Possible and the little boy notices a camera that flash blue Wii waves. He pushes it on and hears adult voices as he beams holograms of LMNT singing like the Jonas Brothers; only slightly better for the ears. The girl on the sofa is like Shego and more interested in Shego VS. Kim #4520 as the boy is in awe. Holograms do cause that reaction despite the fact that getting a good video game system out of it is still years away from being useful. Nothing much to this other than the boy jumping up and down. Give it ** 1/2. It's okay and I have seen worse than this music video wise. It ends with LMNT sitting on the couch in real time; while the kids are holograms. Don't know why this is important; or how it gets the band over, but it doesn't offend me so I'm fine with it. There is also another trivia game on the extras pertaining to Kim's villain squad; but I'm not going to bother talking about that. Trivia isn't much for me when I can use Wikipedia or fan sites to get that kind of information.

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; that took a long time to do; but we got through it. Three of the four episodes were good to excellent and they all follow the things that made Kim Possible great: Kim being awesome; Ron being funny; Drakken being lame in a good way; Shego being sarcastic and so on. Animal Attraction was great in the sense that the Senors banter was funny for the most part and they really played up the major angle of Junior being Kim's soul mate by building it up really well and I hope that the writers didn't screw it up in later episodes. Number One was good despite Duff being a one trick pony (although the dandelion finish was so funny that it buried Duff as a bad ass true Scot); but the Will/Kim rivalry was muted in a sense and didn't have the hate it should have had more so when Kim was facing the threat of Bonnie being captain of the cheer leading squad. Showdown At Crooked D was as I expected was an instant classic which could have been the first perfect episode because it had all the TaleSpin-equse stuff in it from natural pathos, to funny villains, to a great finish that redeemed Joss as a little kid and a funny twist ending. Still; it wasn't because I felt Joss talking too much was not a good thing and talking too fast didn't help matters at all. Also I felt BS&P hurt this episode too because Shego is supposed to be this nasty version of Kim Possible and she hits the beams on a bunch of kids and Jim & Tim don't even sell it at all; killing the gimmick right there. Drakken's plan was funny too; although seeing Ramesh brainwashed was a little bit problematic for me for not so obvious reasons. And then there is Blush which sounded like a good episode on paper; but in practice it wasn't so good. For one; the whole Josh/Kim date thing was done in the very first episode so the angle was already over before it started and they just put the heat back on Kim again with this. They should have booked a new boyfriend so that I could care about Kim dating boys and maybe even have a four way with Ron, Josh and Some Guy. Jim and Tim were completely pointless and not needed as they annoyed me for spying on Kim. More so when Shego and Drakken were doing a perfect job on their own without them to drop the quality of the episode. And then there is the finish as it resolution was subdued and the ending was dull and lame as there was no epic ending since Kim's eyes, hair and face were still intact. It should have finished with Kim's face only being shown and startling Josh before Ron blows the flower pollen into Kim to restore her. And the ending was dull as there was nothing of note in that.

In all; the worst episode so far in the series and the first episode under ** 1/2. On the other hand; Kim is still doing very well as being the TaleSpin killer despite not having a perfect episode. That in my view is going to change because next weekend; it's the first series finale So The Drama which I have seen enough times and I think it's awesome, most so the finish and ending. However; there is something important about this and I will rant on why the fans ultimately buried Kim Possible as a series for good because I remember it being a big deal back when Tuscon Coyote was on Toonzone complaining about it. It's the "Save Kim Possible" fan club and Michael Eisner decided to do the most evil end-around ever in Disney history. More on that in So The Drama. After So The Drama; I plan to do the Kim Possible Christmas special and then it's off to Quack Pack starting in 2013. So....

Thumbs down for Blush, thumbs up for Showdown At Crooked D & Animal Attraction and thumbs in the middle; pointing up for Number One and I'll see you all next time.

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