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Mega Man Ruby Spears: Mega-Pinocchio Rant
Reviewed: 03/15/2022
Wow, This Got Dirty Quickly!
Well, I am finally back to the Rant Shack full time with new episodes of Mega Man from 1994. Although this time, this series will not be a Easter Sadism piece per se, it will be me enjoying Mega Man while ripping it apart for my pleasure. Yeah, the stuff of my life in a nutshell. Anyhow, this is episode #3 (although the ADV release claims it's episode #4) on the animation paper and the plot of this is as follows: After saving an interesting scientist named Dr. Petto, Mega Man gets offered the chance to be transformed into a real human. While it's a very far-fetched idea, Mega Man is compelled by it and takes Dr. Petto up on the offer. Little does Mega know that "Dr. Petto" was really a robot created by Dr. Wily. Wily implants a mind control chip in Mega Man's head and uses him to do his dirty work. And there's nothing Mega Man can do to resist his orders. Also, as you will see as I rant on this: the way Dr. Petto's name is pronounced is so creepy that whomever thought this was a good idea probably suffers from tone-deafness, in more ways than one. How does this episode fare? Let's rant on shall we...?!
Mega-Pinocchio is written by Richard Merwin, who story edited with Jeffrey Scott and was directed by Katsumi Minoguchi.
We begin this episode at what looks to be another power plant from Electronic Nightmare because of course we would start it out this way. It might as well be the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM and be done with it. A sercuity guard in blue is watching as Ring Man appears on a T-shaped surfboard that Kit Cloudkicker would be jealous of. Sort of, Kit would dare Ring Man to surf the clouds with just a tow rope and no rockets, the sort of toxic masulinity thing to do. I should also point out that the board changes from an I-shaped to T-Shaped within one shot. Sigh. The guard acts like Ring Man is a human being and not a Doctor Cossack...ERRRR..I mean, Doctor Wily built robot as he warns the poor robot of not touching the elecfieid fence because it has 100,000 volts of electricty in it. Ring Man touches it anyway and no sells it. He calls it hot stuff, having an absurd voice as the security guard states that Ring Man would have to destroy the main generator to shut it down, Ring Man is like "checkmate" and throws is Ring Boomerangs from his head. This destroys three power poles and brings it down on the generator, sparking. The fence is nullifed as Ring Man just don't care that the security guard has an assult rifle on his person out of nowhere. Keep in mind that this is before Columbine, so BS&P wasn't ready to phase out those weapons, yet. Ring Boomerang returns to Ring Man's head as in comes Guts Man and Cut Man. Guts Man destroys the fence and door, Ring Man waves goodbye in his own way and Cut Man does nothing of note as usual. We head inside a lab as a white haired doctor with glasses is fixing robot and he's neither Light nor Wily. Apparently, the robot on the table was going to put planted with a bomb because this doctor actually asks where the bomb is? WHAT?! The wall gets punched in and in comes Guts Man. By the way, there is a giant bird like model hanging from the ceiling. Remember that for later. Doctor sells it like he's confused and the acting is so lame and breathless that the doctor sounds like a robot. Huh. Doctor demands answers to this outrage and Guts Man blows him off and kidnaps him in that order. Glass ceiling is shattered as Mega Man arrives doing a forward roll, of course. Might as well, Cut Man has to do something in this episode. Rush arrives as well to make sure there was no logic break. Rock orders Guts Man to put him down and since the doctor is not an anthro it's perfectly okay.
Rock then makes Cut Man look like an idiot by threatening to make them into soda cans if they refuse to surrender. Rush is like "Me Too"; so I expect the animal cruelity story from Rush to be told in 21XX and Dr. Light to be canceled soon after. Time for this installment of CUTMAN IS INCOMPENTENT~! Cut Man at least starts off on the right foot by calling Rock a goody two-circuits. That was funny, actually. Cut Man then gets cut off by Ring Man, because why not. Even Ring Man knows he has a better chance of defeating Mega Man than anyone at this point. Not. Ring Boomerang ensues, Rock dodges it, it bounces off something, Rush grabs it with his mouth and headbutts Ring Man with it to knock him the F out! One shot, one burial. Yeah, let Cut Man take over; he's the funny one of the enemy side at least. Rush is praised as Rock touches the ring top while cutting another lame promo; get weapon wirefire sequence ensues. Good design on the wireframe this time as Rock fires the ring and cuts off Cut Man's scissor head, then the talons of the conveniently placed model bird hanging from the ceiling and it entraps Cut Man, as Cut Man is overpowered yet again. Ring destroys cans of "Titanium Glue" forcing Guts Man to step in it like an idiot and he's more stuck than Daddy Pig in Simple Science. Yes, Cut Man proves to be the smartest robot of the three and still sucks. Hits of useless chips, indeed! Guts Man goes through the door with part of the floor as Rock checks on the doctor and doctor checks on him like a perverted creepy old bastard. Rock wants to leave with the doctor because WILY ROBOTS~! Rush changes to Rush Jet, Rock and the doctor get on as the doctor has to hang on while Rush flies them out of the robot lab. What a jerk?! Scene change to morning at Dr. Light's residence as Dr. Light, Rock and Roll are watching the doctor typing on the computer as the doctor is basically exchanging notes about his work. Rush is just being annoying by extending it's legs, because of course. Rush tries to use his tongue to get to a conveniently placed box of doggy battery treats, but Roll takes the box away via an obvious teleport and Rush's tongue makes a mask and an ass of it itself in the process. The guise of this is that the doctor is a biogenetic doctor who is working on converting a robot into an actual human being. Dr. Light thinks this is a wonderful idea, and let's just make the concept of humans meaningless in the process.
Dr. Light calls him Dr. Petto. Which is the correct spelling, however; the pronouncation makes it sound like Light is calling him Dr. Pedo, as in pedophile. Not a good idea. I realize that it's supposed to be referencing Pinocchio as the title and the whole plot line is supposed to be shooting for, but why not call him Dr. Pino or even Pinocchio for an ironic twist?! Roll explains the obvious to us as Petto thanks Rock and calls him a brave boy. Infantizing of such is not just bigotry, it's awfully creepy considering the age difference between Rock and Petto. Thankfully, Rock kindly tells him he's not a boy; but Petto offers him a chance to be human, even though Dr. Light build Rock and Roll to be human. This is turning into an idiot plot in that if Rock accepted himself as he is, nothing in episode would ever happened. Petto claims that humans would be charmed by the scent of a rose which is also creepy as Dr. Light thinks this is stupid as Rock is fine as he is and Rock agrees with him. Sadly, I wouldn't be as gentle with Petto's offer as either of these two, but I can see where this is going before they do, since the story requires them to be dumb. Petto then asks if Rock knows what happiness is and this causes Rock to have second thoughts. So, night falls and a shadow of Rock walks out of the residence without further incident as we head to Petto's robot lab and see Petto continue to work on the robot that is supposed to have a bomb inside of it. In comes Rock as Petto is surprised to see him. Rock agrees to become human and Petto is more and willing to do so. Scene change to Rock on the operating table as Petto opens the diamond shaped panel on Rock's head and takes out the life chip where informing Rock that he needs to shut him down in order to make him "human". The second Rock Man is shut down, we hear Dr. Wily's voice as we discover that this is a swevere. Petto was a robot of Dr. Wily all this time as Wily uses a remote control and shuts down Dr. Petto in the process. Wow, the pedophile vibes are stronger in this episode than I had intended. I'm sure Michael didn't intend this to happen in this context. Wily pushes Petto down as Proto Man is also there while Wily checks Rock like a creep for a while as he reveals his plan to brainwash Mega Man into doing his bidding and make him brother of Proto Man for real.
Again, I criticized this in TaleSpin and it applies here: Giving away the plan now gives no incentive to continue watching, when everyone knows what is going on and is screaming at the characters to notice it like they have psychic powers. Because being human involves snitching, and it doesn't work when the show is fictional and there's no way to make the characters act otherwise, making them and you look like total idiots. Just have Dr. Petto shut down as a tease, fade to black and then return after surgery as Petto is back to normal again to make the audience wonder what is going on; and move Dr. Wily's plan to a later act when you have to blurt out the plan to advance the plot. Anyhow; Rock wakes up as Petto informs him that the surgery was a success, probably to humanize Mega Man more, which is a fair and wholesome thing to do even if it is under false pre-tenses. Rock acts all normal and human. Petto gives him the rose from earlier and we zoom out to probably Wily Machine RS to a monitor with Proto Man and Dr. Wily watching on. Wily is wearing a Mega Man-equse helmet, just to further annoy the audience and piss off the Mega Man marks; and he uses the brainwashing helmet to tell Mega Man to feel tingling and such inside. Rock sniffs the rose and repeats what Dr. Wily said and it's in the most blandish, monotonish, robotic voice ever. This is so stupid that no one should be falling for his voice, but; considering who is controlling him, this makes sense because Dr. Wily doesn't understand empathy even if he is human. This is probably why Otto Raptor was willing to work with Wily in Robosaur Park because Otto saw nothing resembling a human in Dr. Wily even though Wily was clearly using him anyway and was a monster despite being a human. Petto falling for it makes sense since Wily built him as a "Yes-Man" robot; so there's that. So, of course; Petto oversells it and shows more human emotion that Rock ever has. Rock decides to leave to inform everyone as Dr. Wily's plan is to use Rock to commit crimes and put the blame squarely on Dr. Light. If you want to do that, you better make sure Rock doesn't tell Dr. Light nor Roll about visiting Dr. Petto because it will give the con away to them in the long run. Meanwhile, back to Dr. Light's residence in the morning as Dr. Light and Roll are fixing a robot with Rush looking on. Rock comes in and basically tells him about being made into a real human, with Roll joking about acid baths and stuff.
Considering that Dr. Wily was after Petto and it's Petto making the robots humans; this seems like a giant red flag; especially considering that Petto hasn't even explained HOW he makes them human. Both Roll and Dr. Light hands are clenched and not once did either one of them blink until Roll blinks three times in three seconds while Dr. Light doesn't blink at all. Now I question Dr. Light being a robot instead of a human. Which would make perfect sense since he clearly relates to them in every way. Then we get an alarm and Dr. Light goes to the computer. On it, we see Magnet Man and Spark Man causing chaos as the Skytown SkyScraper, because of course! There is a giant helicopter on top of the roof as Spark Man looks like he ate Crash Man and absorbed his looks. Rock gets on Rush Jet and tells Dr. Light that he will be proud of him as a boy for further infantization. Rock leaves through the open roof as Dr. Light admits that Rock should have backup and Roll volunteers herself for this one. Roll gets on the green cycle and rides out as Dr. Light of course wants the Robo Rescue Squad to take over instead of Roll. Bigot. Jump cut to the SkyTown SkyScraper as Magnet Man is pulling up steel beam from underground. Suddenly, a woman with brown hair, green suit and green tie with a X button calling herself Bree Ricotta who is a reporter reporting as the denizens of the tower are being evacutated while Magnet Man and others are wrecking havoc. In comes Mega Man on Rush Jet. Oh, and speaking of Crush...ERRR...Clash....ERRR...Crash Man; here he comes as well. Sadly, they call his weapon: Time Bombs. WHAT?! Crash Bombs would have been perfectly fine here, did BS&P hate Crash for some reason. If so, why not Crush? Well, trademarks issues might have been a factor for that one, however; I read that this was what the creators of the game were shooting for with Crash Man anyway. Rock and Rush intercept the bombs and is in such glee as Dr. Wily and Proto Man are still watching on and order Mega Man to be careful to not drop those bombs. Rock repeats the promo in that brainwashed voice and then drops the bombs anyway. Reverse psychology, methinks?! Nah, that's dumb. The bombs fly into the building and explode and this somehow causes the skyscraper to wobble. Huh? This makes no sense to me. Rock proclaims that he really blew it this time in a really blown up joke to end the segment eight minutes in. Nothing really special here.
After the commercial break, and the skyscraper is now sinking and dust is flying all around. WHAT?! Geez, those time bombs are turning too literally for my tastes. Denizens are fleeing as Bree blames Mega Man for the whole mess in order to secure Dr. Wily's gaslighting attempt to destroy that no good evil Santa Claus and his reputation. Dr. Light, everyone. It's not Bree's fault; she was merely reporting what she saw. What else can she do? She doesn't have psychic powers either. Head back to Wily Castle Ruby Spears Edition (which is Wily Castle Mk. 3) and inside the computer room with Dr. Wily loving life and willing to throw more gasoline into this dumpster fire. Dr. Wily rubs his hands with glee as we discover that his plan was to steal the SkyTown SkyScraper (In Search of Ancient Blunders, I'm just saying.) as Rock is just confused and afraid in his own words as he makes a bigger mistake that pretty much assures that it's all his fault: putting Rush on the skyscraper as the robots steal the building. Bree is getting more and more pissed off of this, especially when the van containing the Robot Rescue Squad arrives with Dr. Light. Wait a second?! WHERE THE HELL IS ROLL?! She left BEFORE Dr. Light had a chance to call the Robot Rescue Squad was called. Who is...Oh wait, I know who's writing this and how can anyone accept this logic break?! Roll arrives literally seconds later, making the logic break even more obvious. Roll is not letting this slide as she shouldn't as the Wily helicopter is now in the color scheme of the Wily Machine RS after being grey in the first shot. Rock climbs on top and threatens to shoot Guts Man with plasma all the way to the universe. Guts Man grabs a flagpole and calls him a Cyber Punk, and now I think they are in 2077. That is depressing. Guts Man proads the rod at Rock; the denizens are cheering for death, probably Rock's. Rock shoots the Mega Buster into the pole and electrocudes Guts Man. You know, if they really want to pin the blame on Rock and Dr. Light for screwing this up, just brainwash Rock into joining Dr. Wily's forces from the start and just not have him show up at all during the building takeover. Then again, this would kill the action and we need action since this is the game's genre after all. Rock is about to finish him off, so Dr. Wily invokes the EMPATHY OF WASH to stop that one. If you ever want to understand the empathy paradox, this is one episode to see.
Guts Man flees into the helicopter and Bree is insulted by this despite the fact that this would have been the moral thing to do. Then the helicopter drops the building and destroys the area as everyone has either fleed, or teleported out because of the no-kill rules and thus when the dust clears, Rock Man is completely unharmed when Roll and Dr. Light console him. Bree comes in with the tough question and why not just call the police and have them arrested already? It wouldn't be any worse and Dr. Wily has already won. Of course, no one is arrested as the gaslighting continues as Bree and the denizens are protesting this and Dr. Light has no answer to this. Back to the monitor in Dr. Wily's castle as Bree proclaims that Dr. Light's robots are not good enough to protect the city and signs off. Dr. Wily is pleased by this whole thing and declares that smearing Dr. Light's reputation is one step in controlling the world. Wily cackles while there is little animation on the zoom out and rotation shot. So, we head to a conveyer belt in the city as Dr. Light is checking a green robot leg as Rock watches on and Rock apologizes for letting him down. Dr. Light forgives him because mistakes are a human quality as long as they learn from them. Rock than asks "Am I one of your mistakes?" Wow, that was actually a good question. The gaslighting of Wily is now making Rock second guess himself. Remember, Wily only cares about winning and will use every scheme he can, including "using the truth" as a weapon. Facts are great, until they become weapons for winning. Then everything is meaningless, which is what an abuser/god wants. Dr. Light proclaims that Rock was no mistake, which makes it worse in terms of gaslighting because it means Rock's actions were malevolent and makes Bree and company's concerns even more justified in spite of the fact that Wily is clearly gaslighting here. Rock proclaims that his robot side says one thing, his human side says another and he has to become one or another. They are setting him up for a teased heel turn that is never going to really happen, because it can't for obvious reasons. Rock walks off as Proto Man is really pissed off because he wants action. Join the club! Dr. Wily wants him to be patient as they still need Rock to be brainwashed some more as the Wily Machine RS flies out of Wily Castle RS and that is that.
We head to Dr. Light's residence AFTER HAPPY HOUR (After dark) as Dr. Light is checking the computer and being grumpy as he blurts out that he is second guessing giving Rock self-determination as Rock is watching on from outside the lab. The gaslighting is almost complete as Rock got the answer he was expecting all along and that Light is a lying Santa Claus. Rock ponders what to do next and jump cut to outside as Dr. Wily in the Wily Machine RS brainwashes Rock to remove the self-determination from all robots. Rock repeats the promo and doesn't even bother to whisper yell. Just because gaslighting works doesn't mean you can be an idiot at this stage. Rock marches to the storage where all the robots Dr. Light was making as there is one under a glass dome. Rock opens the glass dome and opens the front of the red robot which looks like a cyclops. Before Rock can do anything, he gets caught by Dr. Light, Rock and Rush. Dr. Wily is the worst case of someone failing at the fine art of not being seen. Literally, Rock gave away the plan 10 FEET AWAY FROM DR. LIGHT! There's no way Dr. Light wasn't going to suspect a thing. It's comical! Dr. Light demands answers and Rock in a robotic voice -- which is a giant red flag in itself -- says he's deprogramming the robots to eliminate mistakes. If Rock had said this in a human voice, there would be no red flag to see even if it the whole thing is one giant red flag. Again, if Cut Man is incompentent, so is Dr. Wily. Dr. Light using Occam's Razor on Rock is hilarious because it's so dumb. Remind me to not Dr. Light when it comes to psychology, he sucks at it. Rock pulls the lever (JESUS~!) and a trapdoor opens and the babyfaces get WARNERED~! Just like that. The babyfaces are in the trash compactor as the trapdoor closes while Dr. Wily praises Rock as he and his robot all come in to complete the heel turn. Dr. Wily orders Rock to turn on the trash compactor and kill the babyfaces basically. Since Rock is brainwashed, he must obey all orders as he turns the lever (JESUS~!) and the walls come closing in on the babyfaces as Dr. Light finally realizes that Rock is now Proto Man 2 to end the segment 13 minutes in. Wow, this is now a decent episode despite the mess in logic breaks.
After the commercial break; we get a lot of rumbling outside the lab, why? Why not?! Here's what happens next: We head inside the trash compactor which clearly has light. Rush is trying to keep the trash compactor from squishing them by holding onto the walls with Dr. Light against one of the walls while Roll does nothing. Dr. Light asks Roll for a hand and Roll is confused because Dr. Light wants a green robot hand and Roll gives it to him. Dr. Light fixes hands and throws it up onto the floor of the robot room. Robot hand runs on floor, Ring Man finds it and grabs it. Dr. Light all this time is using Paul E. Dangerously-equse cellphone literally pushing buttons and beeping. Hand punches Ring Man in chest over and over; then a head shot and then a chop. All heels plus heel Rock run back in and instead of Mega shooting the hand, the hand goes to the lever, pushes it (JESUS~!), trapdoor opens and out comes Dr. Light, Roll on Rush Jet. Proto Man shoots laser beam (Huh?), misses by a mile as Rush Jet escapes. Dr. Wily don't care, orders Rock to reprogram the robots and that is that. I got to admit that they made this really suspenseful for the most part, until the booking was messed up because the suspense died when no one bothered to try to shoot the actual hand. BS&P or not, this was dumb. Jump cut to Petto's lab as Dr. Light, Roll and Rush enter Petto's lab and Dr. Petto is just standing there with a look that clearly tells the audience that this is a robot. Roll pushes Petto and Petto falls to the ground to reveal the obvious grift. Dr. Light goes to the table and discovers that Rock was never a human outright, Rock is still a robot with human emotions turned into a pyschopath due to a mind control chip used to make him into what Dr. Wily thinks is a human being. Again, psychopath. Dr. Light has a plan and Roll hopes it's not too late to take the chips out of Rock. Jump cut to the Wily Helicopter RS as all the robots are being placed in the back of said helicopter. Jump cut to the cockpit with Dr. Wily, Proto Man and Rock as Dr. Wily is the pilot, Proto's the co-pilot and Rock is the brainwashed never-was. Human that is. Wily turns on the helicopter as his plan is to take over the city via parachuting robots. Sounds reasonable to me. Dr. Wily is hoping to make them beg for him instead of begging for ports on their plastic box system of their choice. Or something among those lines. The helicopter flies into the moon light as we head back to Petto's lab with Roll and Rush watching on.
Roll is gravely concerned about this getting worse as Dr. Light is creating his counter mind-control helmet as the Penny Gadget-equse watch beeps and a certain man with a mustache is on pleading for Dr. Light to stop his invasion of robots as he is the Secetary of Defense. Is he in for a surprise when the world dominator is not who he thinks it is. I mention this because outside of the government building (I suspect this is Washington, D.C. in storyline and it might be the White House or the Pentagon, but BS&P won't let them say that for obvious reasons) Dr. Light's commando robots with guns are parachuting. Dr. Lights Robo-Squad from earlier also arrives, and yes, they are clearly in Washington, D.C. Roll decides enough is enough as Dr. Light is literally talking at the Secteray of Defense while cutting a promo as if the communication was cut. Dumb! Roll and Rush leave as Dr. Light puts on the helmet saying that this better work or Rock's a heel forever. So, we jump cut to the Lincoln Memorial as white birds fly away. Rock arrives with programmed robots and tanks arrive as if there is a truck con...Oh wait, forget it! I'm not cracking that joke, it's dumb. One of the soliders pops up the top and has the megaphone ordering Rock to stop, or they shoot. Dr. Wily in the helicopter orders Rock to shoot and Rock does, turning the tank tubes into burned tubes of pasta. The soliders all surrender as more robots invade. In comes Roll and Rush as Roll gets behind Rock; but she gives herself up anyway to turn Rock around so she can win him back face to face. Dumb but still noble. Dr. Wily loves this because he wants Rock to kill her sister Roll. His own silicon and chips, I might add. Rock does the robotic sell and it's so bad even Roll blows him off for it and that causes Rock to come to his senses, somehow. Oh, wait; he's still getting overloaded and Roll blows him off with the Gruffi pose. I agree with Dr. Wily in her lying: We have seen the harm Rock has caused and he would harm a flea if it were a robot. Dr. Light comes in and it's basically two lessers trying to brainwash Rock into submission. They are both guilty, Wily is NOT innocent and neither is Light, Gametheory. Stop it! I hate humans...sometimes. Rock seems to agree with me and Roll just tells him to choose which he thinks is right. So, Rock orders Roll to put her arms up and calls her a scumbag. Rock goes over, rises her chin and tells her to just play again, which incidates that he really is a babyface and is faking.
Rock turns around and goes over to confirm he is a heel and by the way; when Rock told Roll that he was faking, he did a much better whisper yell than he did earlier in the episode; which shows how much of an idiot Wily is. Then he shoots Dr. Light's helicopter; but only hits the tailsection in such a light manner that the helicopter lands perfectly without incident. I have seen enough Foresnic Files to know this is a fake. Rock and Roll bail into the woods which makes zero sense unless you see Rock chasing Roll through the forest which never happened. Rock opens the panel and takes the chip out because he was able to since Dr. Wily was stupid enough to celebrate seeing Dr. Light "get his". S&P prevent Rock from doing anything to Roll; even if blasting her with a fake blast and Roll overselling it would have made the next scene make sense as we jump cut to Dr. Willy, Cut Man, Magnet Man and Proto Man coming out to exchange pleasure thoughts with Rock. Rock acts like he's brainwashed and does a better job than Dr. Wily did when he was legit brainwashing him! Magnet Man congrads him for joining the family and Rock calls him a Magnet Dude; which should have given it away. It doesn't matter because they slap skin and Magnet Man is whining because it's WEAPON GET TIME~! Rock finally turns on them for good this time and then just pushes Magnet Man lightly and he is thrusted into the helicopter and that is it for him. Rock's power is basically his hand becomes a magnet and dammit if I want to slap this show for creating that anti-vaxx talking point that pissed me off to no end. Rock grabs the helmet from Dr. Wily's head and puts it on as all the robots turn babyface on his command. This is just getting funnier and funnier as the Robot Masters all run in on Proto Man's command as Guts Man, Ring Man and Cut Man run in. Cut Man decides to cut to the chase with his rolling cutter. Rock brings in the Fire Bots and they shoot water on the Rolling Cutter as it bounces back, cuts a lamp post and crumbles Cut Man so hard that Cut Man gives the V sign on the way out. It often means victory in most areas, it's sometimes used as a peace gesture, it's used as the number 2 in ASL sign language. However, it's also basically a version of the middle finger in many countries, including Canada. That's why Nintendo stopped using it with Mario although some have claimed that it was a "childish" symbol. I wonder why?
Magnet Man is back for no reason and wants to get the jackpot, so Rock invokes the JACKBOTS to jackhammer the point home that Magnet Man has crumbled to spare parts. Guts Man goes to a steel frame building because of course he would. Guts grabs a beam and the Torcher Bots weld his hands into the beam and then tie his hands up. Guts Man is on his knees powerless. Proto Man is now on top of the steps of the Lincoln Memorial as Ring Man has literally been written out by teleported. WHAT?! I wonder if Ring Man was supposed to be the one who got the Jack Bots spot and they messed it up animation wise, and thus couldn't go back due to deadlines. Doesn't matter anymore; because we now have the single stupidest thing so far in this show (and that covers a lot of ground already) as Rock destroys the helmet by flinging it to the ground and accepts Proto Man challenge to a fire fight. Here we go with the plasma power nonsense as Rock dodges Proto's plasma power as Rock shoots one of the panel of the memorial, making what is going to happen next the dumbest thing even more dumb. More dodging and firing ensue as Rock gets on the steps and taunts Proto Man even more. Worst move ever as Proto teases pointing his blaster at Rock; but then moves it a bit to right so the target is the conveniently placed President Lincoln statue. Rock is ghastly angered at this attempt at censorship and easure that instead of tackling Proto Man and redirecting the shot so that it misses the statue completely; Rock jumps IN FRONT OF PROTO MAN and takes the shot for the statue. WHAT A NUMBSKULL?! Yes, it's a statue and yes, censorship is like burning people. Except President Lincoln is dead and talking a bullet because Proto Man wants to be John Wilkes Booth in robot form is stupid when the city is STILL NOT OUT OF DANGER! Rock could have been killed and the world would be in even bigger peril. What a stupid move by Rock and instead of making him a hero; it made him into a stupid idiot who would defend a piece of cloth over the ideas, which is what a lot of idiots are doing well after and even before this. What a dumb finish this was?! By the way, this was intentional because Proto Man just gleefully taunts him for defending that statue. Yup, blue dweeb is accurate.
Rock is down and his energy level is almost zero as Dr. Light and Roll arrive as Roll wishes Eddie were here and out of Dr. Light's helicopter is Eddie just burying Rock deep within the earth. AWESOME! Proto Man stalks Rock as Eddie comes up the steps and knocks over Proto Man without a care in the world. HAHA! Just buried Proto Man deep within the earth to boot. This finish is so stupid, but I'm laughing my ass off so it was worth it. Eddie gives Rock an energy can, Rock drinks it. Rock gets up shoots at Proto Man, Proto Man shoots back, Rock's shot overwhelms Proto's shot, Proto gets shot in chest and is flung into the helicopter and somnehow had to be teleported about ten feet to the left in order to get into said helicopter. Sigh, I'm used to these continuity errors by now. The helicopter flies away and that is that as we return to Dr. Light's residence in the morning as Dr. Light removes the last chip from the robots and everything is great again. Rock does ask the obvious question: Why did I care about that damn statue? I'm glad he asked that because I'm confused. For goodness sakes Mr. Light; BLINK~! Dr. Light explains it's because he has empathy and self-determination; which Dr. Wily lacks. Sounds right to be. Sadly, Rush needs self-determination and self-manners as demonstrated by his love for doggie treats because he had a mess of them on the floor, as usual. Sigh. Roll claims that she'll fix that, so she goes to the table to get a chip as Rush has been teleported to the table on his belly with the panel on his head open and places the chip inside Rush's head. Roll calls him the most behaved dog ever as Rush takes one treat, eats it while messing up his clean, cleans his face and then bleches, just to make Roll look like a geek. Rock proclaims that you cannot teach an old robo dog new tricks even though it worked minus the blech. Why not bury them all show to end the episode at 24:00 approx. This gets a *** on the trainwreck scale just for the finish and Cut Man doing his own scissor edition of the middle finger. Decent enough story, but the logic breaks and stupidity were too much to overcome. ** (40%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well, unless you enjoy seeing Rock being just another guy who would burn someone for burning the flag; there isn't really anything of note here. Outside of the usual logic breaks and animation mistakes, the story was just there as it was just another "I'm going to brainwash someone to become my monster heel" and it was done so inept that it made the good guys look even worse in hindsight. The finish was the only thing that was so funny that I laughed and Cut Man is his usual smooth self. Overall, not much to see here, therefore not much to write about in this review other than what I have already said. So....
Thumbs down for this episode and I'll see you all next time.