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Mega Man Ruby Spears: The Day The Moon Fall Rant
Reviewed: 05/26/2022
Doctor Wily Is A Bloody Fell Moon!
So, we continue season two of the blue dweeb's life with episode #21 (although on the DVD, it is episode #25) as Dr. Wily has pulled the moon out of its orbit and closer to Earth, creating widespread disasters. Dr. Light now has to figure out a way to put the moon back into its correct orbit, while Mega Man must destroy Dr. Wily's device. How does this episode fare? Let's rant on shall we...?!
The Day The Moon Fall is written by Richard Merwin and was directed by Katsumi Minoguchi.
We begin this episode with a sky shot of the city and over some barricaded area with some security bots in hard hats welding guns. Someone is whistling in the background and oh wait, it's Proto Man trying to make small talk out of the shadows. The bots set their guns to profits and Proto Man calls this no fun at all. Or they know you are Dr. Wily's muscle, take your pick. Blues tells them to loosen up a little as we get a Quick Boomerang, Rolling Cutter and Shadow Blade and this malfunctions them to the ground with electrical sparking. So, Cut Man, Quick Man and Shadow Man's walk in amused. Shadow Man looks like a human face stuck to the robot's body. Not bad, not great either. Cut Man does the lamest joke about being in pieces when BS&P couldn't be bothered to make sure that the robots completely crumbled to make the joke work. Blues wants to get the copter to meet up with Dr. Wily, Guts Man and the debuting Dark Man from Mega Man 5. Now, this makes the irony so ironic because in the games, Dark Man's purpose was to frame Proto Man into kidnapping Dr. Light. Here, Dark Man (who is based on Dark Man 2 from the games) is just another robot master heel when we see him in the lab with Guts Man. By the way, outside of the color scheme and see-through brain, Guts Man and Dark Man have similar bodies. Proto Man has join in out of nowhere as Guts Man does the catching of a filing cabinet while Dark Man uses electrical rope to catch a bunch of spare parts while Guts Man brings down the metal shelves. Alarms go off the second after that as the ceiling is bombed and the Skullcopter arrives. Somehow, Blues is supposed to be flying it, so this teleporation is awesome! Never mind that Dr. Wily could have easily flown the helicopter. The JAWS OF HALF LIVES come out as Guts Man and Dark Man bring up the electrical rope of spare parts up into the helicopter and yes, Proto Man is piloting the Skullcopter on the next shot with Cut Man as the navigator. Why they bothered to show Blues on the ground when they didn't need to is a mystery to me. The Skullcopter flies away and here comes Rock on Rush firing the Rock Buster at the Skullcopter barely two minutes in. Cut Man calls Mega Man a blue dweeb as Rock shoots and hits the backside of the SkullCopter causing all the heels to shake and sell pain in the Skullcopter. Rock gets underneath and praises Blues' flying despite Blues not having any control of the copter.
Rock shoots the front of the Skullcopter from underneath as the copter and the heels no sell the shot this time around. Rock made a hole in the copter as Dark Man is now a turret to fire electrical bolts at Rock, the lazy design choice when the creators couldn't find a unique way to make Dark Man, well...Dark Man. Okay, this next sequence is comedy gold: Rock tells Rush to "slow down" on his signal as Rush Jet is in front of the Skullcopter. Dark Man gets in position to fire and Rock gives the signal. Rush "goes down below" without slowing down, Rock fires, Dark Man fires, both shots cancel out, Rock gets blinded anyway and both babyfaces free fall into the mountains. What a stupid move by that blue dweeb?! Blues is mocking this and rightfully so. This move was dumb! Rock and Rush slam into the trees and the Skullcopter flees the scene. Rush is spitting and Rock is regretting. We head to Dr. Light's residence AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Dr. Light reveals the name of the lab known as Colossol Labs and as we head inside his lab, we find out that Dr. Wily stole some secret parts and is probably using them for world domination, or something. Rock thinks something is sus about this and decides to leave the lab with Rush to figure out what it is. There is a full moon out as we head to Dr. Wily Castle RS edition with a pan shot with a cliff, which has to be symbolic of what Dr. Wily is falling off of. Speaking of the balding assface, he's inside talking to the robot masters while showing off a laser like cannon and calls himself Dr. Brilliant Genius Wily. Wily E. Coyote: Super Genius just wept on that one, and that's a backhanded compliment at best. Even Guts Man is doing the cuckoo-bird signal, which shows how insane Dr. Wily is. And Dr. Wily has gotten Don Karnage vibes because crazy was also his berserk button and probably now censors anime in Japan, or something. The heels have to beg for mercy on that one, too. Dr. Wily calling his invention the Gravitron, which is dangerously close to Transformers level name calling as he wants to control the damn moon to make it do his bidding as he cackles and the camera only shows his hand shaking. He's not crazy, he's a vampire with cluster b traits. Dr. Wily opens a conveniently placed white capsule and brings out one of the spare parts he stole and in typical heel fashion, he claims he invented it: a tachyon capacitor. Dr. Wily puts it in the Gravitron, claiming that it doesn't work without it.
The robot masters are absolutely dreading this whatever Dr. Wily is talking about as Blues asks what this device does and Dr. Wily is angry while showing a world globe and a yellow tennis ball, which represents the moon. Both objects were colored much differently in the far shots before this, so whatever. I'm used to this show not getting that right since I've watched a lot of 1980's and 1990's cartoon do the exact same thing, even TaleSpin is not immune to this. Basically, Dr. Wily wants to pull the moon out of it's own orbit and this leads to this exchange:
Yup, vampire with cluster b traits on the maligant side, thy name
is Dr. Wily. Wily juggles the spheres for a while because he wants to
create chaos and dominate worlds. Well, one world at least. Dr. Wily
pushes the buttons on the Gravitron as the roof opens and the device
emmits purple electrical bolts as Dr. Wily is loving so much that he
states that this is a fitting way to get revenge on that Santa
Claus-wannabe. Dr. Light, everyone. Dr. Wily cackles for a while as a
purple beam straight up connects to the moon outside the castle. The
purple beam engulfs the moon as we head to various scenes, including
a hilarious tidal wave spot with two humans that somehow, they don't
get pulled by the undertow because of the no-kill rule. Lots of wind
and rain ensue. Maybe it's just me, but there's nothing in these
scenes that we don't see on a regular basis due to human global
fuckery. Climate change, everyone. Head back to Dr. Light's residence
as there is a huge thunderstorm in progress. Dr. Light is on the
computer trying to contact Rock, and he does find him in the sky on
Rush Jet, who is okay. Rock accuses Dr. Wily of all this, because of
course. Rock and Rush head down to a broken bridge with a bus nearing
going over in such a way, I cannot take this seriously even if I
tried. Also, the bus has "school" written on it for no good
reason. Why should it matter what was written? There are far worse
logic in this sequence than a bus with School written on it. Rush and
Rock are about to push the bus backwards on Rock's signal and Rock is
drained of his power because he's a blue dweeb of course for not
refilling himself before leaving the lab. The bus slides towards the
edge of the bridge with Rock and Rush having no power to stop it to
end the segment nearly seven minutes in. This is fine so far.
After the commercial break, we repeat the first twenty seconds of the last segment and then jump cut to four kids and I swear to god, Disney stole their character designs for Recess. The art style looks so uncanny here as is the inside of the bus while the kids were panicking. Rush cannot stand this as his body opens and out comes Eddie! Wow, Rock is an idiot, but Rush somehow remembered to bring Eddie along. You have to be a blue dweeb if the Scooby-Doo-equse dog is more on the ball than you were. Eddie also has to show off electrical spark effects, in neon green this time. Eddie is protesting this crapped...ERRR..I mean, cramped up outrage of being inside Rush and decides his next job in life is being Rackaser from Mega Man 4. I howled with laughter. Eddie hears Rock's pleas for power (he meant energy, but whatever) as Eddie jumps on the top of the bus and opens his top to pour neon green liquid into Rock's mouth. Rock is revived with green auras surrounding his body and the two robots push the bus forward to safety as the bus's artwok becomes more hideously hilarious. The kids all pop for Rock, and look much better animated than the bus actually. Sadly, that is a backhanded compliment as well. The bus drives away in the opposite direction and appears to want to drive off the side of the bridge. Of course! Rock contacts Dr. Light on the computer asking what is going on and Dr. Light basically admits that the moon is responsible for this. Rock is shocked by this as Dr. Light paces around as they both conclude Dr. Wily is behind this because there is a purple beam firing from Skull Fortress 3. Rock decides to pay the balding assface a visit and Roll tells Rock to be careful. Rock claims that he's always careful. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And Rock wonders why Dr. Wily calls him a blue dweeb?! Rush turns into Rush Jet as Rock wants to see the man on the moon. Rock gets on Rush Jet and flies away leaving Eddie hanging on the bridge. Just as well, as Eddie would have to be stuffed back into Rush if he wanted a ride and Eddie clearly hates that. Jump cut to a shot of the moon heading to earth via purple gravity beam. Return to Skull Fortress Lab with Dr. Wily loving life and pushing buttons. Earthquakes ensue but no shaking as Blue insists on bailing to the underground shelter which I think works better with tornadoes than earthquakes, but then again; Dr. Wily cannot tell the differences between volts and joules.
Dr. Wily then gets an alarm signal and is confused. Dr. Wily calls it an intruder as Blues bails with the robot masters to prove that it's Rock. Who else could it be, X?! Actually, X would be sick and we'll see him much later in this season! Jump cut to outside near the hole where the beam is shooting with Rock and Rush on the roof staring at it, which is the obvious signal that we will have a robot master fight. But first, it's the "tickle me with a feather" foreplay with the Battatons shooting purple lasers now. Rock shoots them dead, Rush literally bites a wing off of one in a nasty spot. Apparently, Quick Man was so offended by this disgusting act by Rush that he throws a Quick Boomerang out of nowhere and it hits Rush in the kisser and knocks him into the ground off-screen. Rock is not happy with that one and his voice actor doesn't hold back on that response. Quick Man gets his boomerang back and apparently, he has the Cut Man ability to put it back on his forehead. Blues is also there, claiming that Rock is trespassing. If anyone has read my Mighty Ducks: The Animated Series and the episode where WildWing tried to deny a search warrant to a detective because it's on private property; this is basically the same deal. When someone dies, property rights don't matter because human lives matter much more. Then again, Blues doesn't respect the rule of law because Dr. Wily programmed him that way, whom doesn't respect the rule of law either. Dark Man fires an electrical net on Rock, which would put this Dark Man as version 3 since that Dark Man has a move to freeze Rock in it's tracks. By the way, the one time where calling Rock a blue dweeb by Proto Man would have been hilarious, and he chose to merely call him a rat? Come on, Richard Merwin, the punchline was right there, for goodness sakes. Jump cut to Dr. Wily, Cut Man and Shadow Man going down an elevator with the Gravitron as Cut Man whines and Dr. Wily blows him off as robotic whining. HAHA! Dr. Wily claims that his bunker can withstand everything, including the logic break of the purple beam cutting through the bunker to get at the moon. Jump cut back as Guts Man somehow is written in by teleport, so he joins Blues in managing to have teleportation powers. Guts Man is holding the electrical net as he wants to make him into Splat Man. Now, I begging for a Mega Man 12 to feature that robot master! Rock basically calls him a simpleton without actually calling him that.
Guts Man foolishly swings Rock and that allows Rock's arm to go through the net, touch Quick Man's foot and it's WEAPON GET TIME~! I gotta admit, Quick Man is much better in this episode than his debut, so kudos to Richard Merwin for not making him look like a total dork in this episode. I blame Guts Man for this, though. Rock uses the Quick Boomerang to slice through the net and free fall. Rock grabs onto a ledge like the blue dweeb that he is and I betcha Guts Man tries to stomp his feet onto Rock's hands. I check the video...Nope, Rock throws himself off the ledge after saying that he'll be back, BRUTHA~!
Bryan: You'll be back?! You're even stupider than I thought! Goodbye!
Somehow, Rock's pose causes him to slow down so much that he lands on his feet, and somehow Rush is perfectly fine despite hitting the ground off-screen. Of course! Rock and Rush slowly bail stage left, like they literally have given up life at this point. WHAT?! None of them are even selling injuries or fatigue. Jump cut to inside the computerized bunker as the Gravitron beam is still working despite having nowhere to hit the moon with. I hate this logic break and don't care about the verbal beatdown Dr. Wily is giving the robot masters for letting Rock escape. Also, Proto Man's "I need humble chip" streak continues because he's a red dweeb. Dr. Wily basically wants to de-worm them without actually saying the word, and then recoils and continues to love life. Dr. Wily continues his usual threats as the world is basically seeing the usual destruction you see in hurricanes and tornadoes. The no kill rule really tones down the impact of this and having no humans present during these scenes makes it worse. Sure, the destruction is vast, but nothing I have seen before as an adult. Now, if I saw this through my kid eyes, most of this would be scary and it would work on that level, I bet. We return to Dr. Light's residence and inside the lab as Dr. Light has his own Gravitron counter cannon, but without destroying the tachyon processor inside the Gravitron, then there is no hope. This is why Dr. Wily basically gave away the con: Because his robot masters are with him and Rock is the only one who can destroy it, and he currently cannot do that right now. We exchange notes for a while as Roll checks the monitor thinking Dr. Wily has figured them out and then the computer monitor explodes as Roll and Rush bail about three seconds too late, but they no sell injuries other than Rock and Roll hugging each other. They also blame RUSH for this. WHAT?! Rush did absolutely nothing. Oh, and the floor is split into a lava river now, for no good reason. Dr. Light proclaims that this lab was for storage because babyfaces never prepare for such natural disaster. Way to bury every babyface on this show, Dr. Light! Rock is not loving this at all as we end the segment 14 minutes in.
After the commercial break, we see that the lava is pouring out from the wall and not the floor as I originally thought, which makes this an even bigger logic break. Dr. Light proclaims that if the lava reaches the Gravitron, it's lost; Rock and Roll gleefully retort that one for me. At least here, saying "lost" made sense here since it was a response to Dr. Light's promo and not a BS&P decision. Rock shoots plasma to seal up the rocks while Roll uses the snowcone maker fan of doom to render the lava into quick dry cement. I'm pretty sure that is not what dried up lava looks like. More earthquakes ensue as Dr. Light remembers building a tachyon whatever it is in his youth as he goes to the computer, which somehow recovers despite exploding in the previous segment. The logic breaks are really messing up this episode and it's getting annoying right now. Dr. Light checks the monitor for blueprints and the babyfaces discover a video tape featuring Dr. Light with black hair and Dr. Wily with brown hair looking at least thirty years younger. Dr. Wily, even at this age is acting like he's scheming on Dr. Light, thus showing that his old age is not a factor in his vampiris traits. Dr. Light still has his old voice, but Dr. Wily sounds exactly like Proto Man! Basically, Dr. Light leaves, Proto Wily pushes buttons on the computer and takes the disc out. Even in the past, Dr. Wily is still a jealous bastard vampire; and makes no bones about being an evil assface. Yes, I get that it's 20XX and they are still using floppy discs, but floppy discs were still being used in 2000 at this point and including up to 2020 in rare instances, so it's not absurd. Dr. Wily puts the disc in his lab coat and walks out; as we scene change to them coming back. Huge red flag: Dr. Wily calls the place burglarized despite literally nothing seen that had been stolen. The place wasn't even ransacked and no further damage was done. How can anyone take this seriously is beyond me? Well, Dr. Light believes everything Dr. Wily says and decides to give up the experiment and move on to something else. Dr. Light is a dweeb! And he created Rock and Roll and Rush, all of them are dweebs! The babyfaces realize Dr. Wily is a creepface even at half of the age and he was responsible for all this. Dr. Light cannot build the thingie to save the world, so Rock decides that if they cannot save anyone, they'll cause Dr. Wily's device it's demise as he goes to a conveniently placed closet and opens it to find the stealth suit from Master of Disaster.
Rock is going to pay Dr. Wily another visit with it, you see. Hey, it worked on the robot masters until Lotos (the real badass genie who was in the wrong show) painted him as a literal blue dweeb and Lotos is dead at this point, so why not?! We head back to Skull Fortress 3 with the moon and the earth having a purple beam love in as Blues is clearly having second thoughts about this takeover stuff, but Dr. Wily calls him a coward without actually saying it. Dr. Wily is getting creepier by the second and it's not just his cluster b vampire traits taking over. He assures Blues that he'll do a little more chaos and then hold back. I doubt it! Once you got full psychopath, lead or prison is the only thing stopping such people. Like Don Karnage with the Lightning Gun for instance. Head outside with Rock on Rush without the stealth suit being used as they arrive at Skull Fortress 3. Rock jumps off as the rain has gone totally purple at this point. Rock orders Rush to bail as he turns on the stealth suit and be prepared to fly on his signal. Rock opens a vent proclaiming that this has to work, and it just shows what a blue dweeb he is. Saying that line is just asking for you to fail! Head inside the computer room with Dr. Wily loving life while the whole robot master heels are watching on, either shocked or showing total apathy. Dr. Wily is watching with his hands behind his back enjoying this torture as Cut Man calls Dr. Wily a "master of disaster", which is the episode I ranted on several weeks ago! In comes Rock through the vents in a white wireframe that only the audience can see, which makes the heels look stupid; but the heels are supposed to be stupid in the end, so whatever. Rock practices the fine art of not being seen, but he touches the thingie and gets shocked and exposed in that order. Kit Cloudkicker is literally laughing his ass off on that one. WEAR RUBBER GLOVES YOU BLUE DWEEB~! Might as well call the thingie the Sub-Electron Power Ampifier right now! So, this episode is basically the show's Plunder and Lightning. You are not topping that four parter, you blue dweeb! Guts Man and Cut Man's reactions were like: "Oh, hi; WHAT?!". I don't blame them, that's Rock's fault. Guts Man runs in and grabs Rock and puts him into a crappy bearhug while Dr. Wily and Cut Man are literally cheering for his death. That was awesome.
Now, it's time for this edition of CUT MAN IS INCOMPENTENT~! Cut Man runs in and gets the BOOT TO THE FACE OF DEATH, no one behind Cut Man makes an effort to move, all of them bonk into each other and then into the computer. Somehow, this did not destroy the computer as the computer no sold that kick better than anyone did. This was beyond comical as Shadow Man recovers like "That was stupid" as he throws a shadow blade we don't see and it hits Guts Man in the back and he falls down on his back. I'm dying of laughter, this has been a comedy of errors and it's all on purpose by Richard Merwin. Rock tries to get the Tachyon Ampifier and Quick Man cuts him off with the Quick Boomerang, Rock shoots back, it hits Quick Man and they repeat the footage of the heels going into the computer. I cannot contain my laughter in how cheap this is, but it's so hilarious it was worth it and then some. Rock finally takes the thingie out after some smoke and Dr. Wily can only say "No". Blues is like "enough of this crap" as he shoves Dr. Wily aside and starts shooting and damages the Gravitron, much to Rock's happiness. Somehow, the stealth suit now works as Rock cuts some parting words to Blues and bails out. As Rock leaves through the vents, the Gravitron explodes and is destroyed. Dr. Wily is like "who cares?" and orders the robot master to go after him and kill him basically. But leave the thingie untouched, because he'll repair the Gravitron. See, if Baloo had guns on the SeaDuck, he could have shot the Lightning Gun and not have to destroy his plane 9/11 style; therefore he would get back the SeaDuck instead of Rebecca rebuilding it and forcing Baloo to be employed at Higher For Hire forevermore. Rock and Rush go through ther stormy weather because the moon is still out of it's orbit at this point; Rock assured that the moon would not hit the earth, which wasn't what Dr. Wily wanted anyway. Rock decides to run interference as he and Rush stop at Dr. Light's residence to give the thingie off-screen to Dr. Light. Jump cut to the mountains with Wily Machine RS containing all the heel robots as Blues tells the robot masters to get ready to pound some blue dweeb in a stealth suit. They reach the residence and they park on the ground and just come out, instead of crashing through the lab directly. What a bunch of idiots?! And it's not like this would change Proto Man's plans to fight his brother anway. Rock arrives in the stealth suit ready to fight all comers.
Rock I think does a promo which sounds like "bunch of smelly cats in the moonlight" only without the smelly cats, even through the insult would be funny in this cartoon. Rock shoots the Wily Machine RS, right side and I betcha the machine will not sell it when it is forced to bail at the end of this fire fight. Guts Man comes out last as the heels dodge and proclaims that Dr. Wily is not going to like this and Blues is like "He doesn't like anything, just kill Rock you simpleton!". Heels set their busters to profits, Rock flies up and around for a while and bails into a large hole in the ground out of nowhere. Blues follows him along with Dark Man as they check DA...HOLE (SLURP!) and Rock has literally teleported to in front of the lab. Why not?! In other words, the Proto Man teleport spot at the beginning of the episode was booked that way on purpose. I should have guessed that Richard Merwin would pull off a stunt like that to cover up the obvious logic holes in this episode. Rock tells him to take his best shot and Blues shoots to kill and causes an explosion in front of the residence. All the heels run in; but Rock flies down onto the ground in front of the residence and taunts them. Rock is now stooping to Peppa Pig's secret password stuff, I betcha it's "Wily's An Assface!"; but BS&P clearly won't allow that. Quick Man throws his Quick Boomerang, it goes through Rock's body and Rock still sells it despite clearly being an illusion. Quick Man is confused when he get the boomerang back. Dark Man tries the electric net; but Rock no sells it. Blues tries to shoot Rock on the Wily Machine RS; it goes through Rock and Rock sells it even less. Yeap, they are all illusions. Rock is literally everywhere as it's clear the real Rock is in the buncker the entire time. This all leads to six Mega Men illusions surrounding the heels. Even Blues has figured this blue dweeb out, so you know this is dumb. They shoot the illusions because they still don't know who is the real one. Hint: The real one has a sphere with red and blue lights with a dildo attached to it; which is in fact the halographic projection device. Also, he's in the sky as well as he turns on the stealth suit and shoots Dark Man; which misses by a mile; but the power of suggestion knocked Dark Man the f out. Cut Man would calls Dark Man a wimp after that one. Rock touches Dark Man's hand; and it's WEAPON GET SEQUENCE~! It occured to me that the wireframe is literally the Magnet Beam from Mega Man 1. Too bad, it's more of a net here.
Rock shoots the electrical net into all the heels as Shadow Man seems to teleport in and out in this scene and then they get netted and thrown into the back of Wily Machine RS which has magically repaired itself. HA! Called that one easily. Dark Man bails into the Wily Machine, Wily Machine flies into the sky and out of sight. Rock basically says it all as Rock is shown posing in front of the residence before going inside to put the thingie into the Gravitron Counter Beam and it shoots a white beam that hits the ceiling; but this is still enough on the monitor for the moon to be engulfed and put back into orbit with ease. Roll is happy, Rush is hugging Dr. Light as Dr. Light is relieved that this nightmare is officially over; as Rock watchs the ceiling deep in thought. We head to the residence in the morning as we head to the computer room with Dr. Light checking the moon with the telescope and proclaims that the moon is back into it's proper orbit and everything is right with the world. There is a lot of classical music playing which seems to affect Rush for some reason. Rush is literally howling at a moon he cannot see, that was funny. Rock and Roll are happy for Rush and that ends the episode at 24:00 approx. Despite the breaks in logic, this episode was extremely fun and entertaining. Also, Kit Cloudkicker is going to roast this episode just for Rock being a blue dweeb for my pleasure. *** 1/2 (70%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well, this was a really fun episode marred by a lot of silly logic breaks and animation mistakes. However, the overall story was good, Quick Man and Shadow Man were really good as well as Dark Man. Cut Man was Cut Man and Dr. Wily was sort of threatening for the first time in a while. I couldn't take the moon angle too seriously since seeing this with 2022 eyes, it's dumb because climate change is basically 90% of what we saw due to BS&P. However, in 1995 eyes; this was really scary at times as a kid. This was the show's answer to Plunder and Lightning and it was a fun episode for the time that they were allowed; and I laughed so hard when Rock tried to take the Tachyon thingie of doom without rubber gloves. Kit would have roasted him to circuit sizzling status after that gaffe. The finish was really good, too and kudos to Richard for turning an otherwise logic break at the beginning into a finish that was not only effective, but it played into the beginning and paid it off. There was a lot of funny stuff in this episode and I enjoyed most of it. So....
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time.