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Mega Man Ruby Spears: Brain Bots Rant

Reviewed: 06/02/2022

Doctor Wily Is A Brain Sucker!


So, we continue season two of the blue dweeb's life with episode #23 as Mega Man must prevent Dr. Wily from stealing Dr. Light's new robot, Brain Bot. He is too late and Dr. Wily gets his hands on the robot, but thanks to Mega Man he doesn't have time to make any adjustments and the robot ends up helping Mega Man. How does this episode fare? Let's rant on shall we...?!

Brain Bots is written by Mark Jones and was directed by Katsumi Minoguchi.


We begin this episode at Dr. Light's residence, which is really rare for this cartoon actually. We head into the lab as Dr. Light has finally finished a big time robot so secret that Roll is questioning why it is a secret. Considering what Dr. Wily tried to do to Roll and Rock in the very first episode of this series, I can see why Dr. Light has been so secretive about this latest creation. It also took a year to create and no one must know about it as Dr. Light presses some buttons, a beeping sound is heard, a container opens and we see a green Mega Man with glasses and a white lab coat on, a yellow neck and yellow spheres which might be it's ears. Dr. Light calls him Brain Bot, so Genius Man or Smart Man might be his robot master name. I should note that Dr. Wily has made clones of Rock before in the games, so it's odd that Dr. Light would create what is mostly a remastered Rock with a color change. When Dr. Light turns the Brain Bot on with Rush looking on, Brain Bot sounds like a subdued Krillian, or Cut Man in this case. Rush is not feeling like he wants to be there as he whimpers, but Brain Man treats Rush with kindness and calls him a dog bot. Then Brain Man grabs Rush by the hips and shakes him. Yeah, this robot needs some fine tuning. He needs some clue chips. Rush is not liking this and Rock and Roll are looking at themselves in shock, but not appalled. Yet. Brain Bot slams Rush down and opens Rush's chest because he basically wants to dissect Rush! Okay, I'm starting to like Brain Bot now, and I'll need a shower when this episode is over. Apparently, Rush has 50 GB of RAM, which is still much less than most computers today in 2022. Keep in mind, this episode aired in 1995, so they didn't even date themselves here. Brain Bot finds a conveniently placed stool (NOT THAT ONE!) with four desk wheels on it, BB takes the wheels off and puts them on the bottoms of Rush's feet. Rush is so stupid that he gets on his feet because Rush clearly doesn't know how to roller blade. Even Barican wasn't this bad in Chargeman Ken. Rush rolls, bumps into the wall, somehow does the anime legs become crap sequence and bounces back behind Rock using the legs and then throws the wheels off in disgust. Rock is amused by this and so am I. Roll claims that Rush doesn't like Brain Bot. Geez, you think?! Dr. Light tells Rush to relate to Brain Bot because Brain Bot is going to a secret research lab in California. Oh, and Rock and Roll are taking him there, which stuns them.

Why? Brain Bot is throwing out circuit boards from Dr. Light's computer and redesigning the lab according to Roll. Something tells me Dr. Light is not having a good day. So, we head over the city with Rck flying a plane, Roll being the navigator, Brain Bot being the literal back seat driver and Rush being useless as usual. Even Rock thinks Dr. Wily will kidnap Brain Bot and to be fair, it's not like Dr. Wily hasn't kidnapped big name robots before. Roll thinks everything is fine, but we head to Skull Fortress RS as we head inside Dr. Wily's lab as Proto Man is on the computer watching a screen containing footage of a Plasma Jet, so says the vampire with cluster b traits. Cut Man, Guts Man and the returning Snake Man watch on as we do the x-ray zoom in and discover that there's a new passenger in the jet and Dr. Wily deduces that Brain Bot is a super IQ robot, basically. I guess his spy camera can read stats on robots as well, since Proto Man had no idea what Dr. Wily was talking about anyway. Dr. Wily didn't call him Brain Bot from the start, which would have been a logic break. Then we see a map with a giant white arrow as it dings and somehow is outside of California, despite going to it and Proto Man saying that it's going to California. Guts Man was so awesome that he managed to hide Dark Man from us on the back shots. Dr. Wily wants to kidnap that robot, because he has world domination in his wiring. Dr. Wily's brain, of course. Jump cut to a ground to sky shot of a forest as the Plasma Jet is flying in the sky on the next shot and jump cut to inside the cockpit as Brain Bot is violating seat belt laws, and it don't care. Brain Bot is talking like he knows what he's talking about, but doesn't understand consequences of demonstration as he pushes the blue square button on the control panel. Somehow, Brain Bot teleports back to his seat with is seatbelt on in the middle of this tailspin (BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!). Luckly for Rock, he stablizes the gyro on this thing and blows off Brain Bot, who looks like he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. HAHA! Roll and Rock blow off his "being efficiant" stance. Listen, I love things being more efficient, but safety first! Oh, and here comes the evil Dr. Wily jet of doom barely four minutes in. Cut Man makes a lame pun...AGAIN, as missiles are launched, Rock dodges them was ease. Rock tells everyone to hang on as Blues is right on his brother and more missiles are fired. One of them hits the PlasmaJet.

Plasma Jet goes into the forest, Wily Jet follows them into the forest. The animation is actually good here, but it doesn't have the impact of Plunder and Lightning Part one. They leave the forest, Rock decides to fire a backwards missile at the heels, it misses; but the power of suggestion destroys the missile launcher of the Wily Jet. Blues is not amused by this, so Cut Man and Snake Man take over on the wing to fire Search Snakes and Rolling Cutters, which isn't as whacky as Thembrians throwing bathtubs and meat. Apparently, Roll has to take over the Plasma Jet as Rock opens the cockpit dome and Rush turns into Rush Jet, so there are three jets in this fight alone. Proto Man opens his cockpit dome and blast Rock with the Blues Buster, Rock has to dodge them and he is so overdramatic in his overselling. I howled with laughter after that one. Rock shoots and knocks Cut Man out, AGAIN! Somehow, Cut Man teases going overboard, but when he grabs the ledge, he was in no danger of falling off. Snake Man is hanging onto the wing, Guts Man is somehow concussed and saying we're hit and Blues blows his high-powered brain off. Memo to Blues: Don't point to your head. Heels never win with stuff like that. Dark Man has had enough and invokes the Electromagnetic Net of Death and it has heat-seeking abilities now as it nails Rush Jet and sparks him. Apparently, this kills the stablizers, so says the blue dweeb. Roll states the obvious in the Plasma Jet; but Blues doesn't hear it, of course. The Plasma Jet tries to stablize, but since the left back engine has been broken by robot master weapons, one shot of the Blues Busters destroys the left engine. Roll is going down hard trying to stablize the jet and Brain Bot has the Gruffi pose on full blast calculating. What an asshole?! He's literally the robot version of Sheldon from Big Bang Theory.

Roll rightfully blows Brain Bot off, opens the dome and ejects both robots out with parachutes. Which is fine, because they aren't supposed to die in storyline. Rock is still flying Rush Jet and Rush Jet has no sold the entire "stablizers are shot" angle because Rush Jet is still in the air. Rock shoots the buster and takes down the Wily Jet just like that! Proto Man is impressed by Rock's shooting abilities; but says it in a way that doesn't bury himself. Both jets go down as Rock and Rush fly over to save Roll with a orange/white parachute on, and they are still no selling the "stablizers are shot" angle. To make this even more stupid: When the parachute engulfs the babyfaces, they jump cut to Rush Jet landing on the ground without any problems. Way to go, Mark Jones; you completely buried Dark Man's cool robot master weapon! I hope that pay cheque was worth it. Rock asks about Brain Bot and Roll claims that he ejected and we see Brain Bot parachuting, landing right in front of the heels. That is one punch bingo there, folks! Dark Man gets his heat back by using the electromagnetic net of doom on Brain Bot, and it turns into a regular net. WHY?! Rock got the full version and didn't sell it properly, so why is Brain Bot selling the net. On the other paw, at least Brain Bot does have human traits of panic when he's being kidnapped so he is less clueless than Pedro F'N Pony. Dark Man ruins the promo calling him just a dweeb, instead of a green dweeb; which would have been funny and make sense since he's basically a green version of Mega Man. Proto Man claims that Brain Bot is theirs and that ends the segment nearly eight minutes in. Despite some logic break, this is a really fun episode so far and Brain Bot being a dick for my amusement is actually funny.

After the commercial break, we get a zoom out shot of a forest somewhere in California I would wager. Rock, Roll and Rush are flying in the area as Rush Jet is STILL SPARKING despite no sign of it in the previous shot he was in. Even when the animation is great, the internal logic is messed up. They find Brain Bot kidnapped by the heels on the ground via the sky shot. Rock wants Rush to go after him, and NOW RUSH IS SELLING THE "Stablizers are shot" ANGLE~! Of course! What a fool I am?! Babyfaces bonk into the ground and roll down the hill to fetch a pail of Logic Nuts. POW! OUCH! Ummmmm...Sorry fans, that deserved to be out of retirement. They land in the bushes as Rock blows off Rush's landing. He should be blowing the logic demons off for this straining of the plot, but we have an episode to continue ranting on. Jump cut to the heels in the forests with Brain Bot in a net sulking. Dark Man is so happy for Dr. Wily being happy for this as Blues is on the transmitter with Dr. Wily and Dr. Wily is in fact, loving life. Dr. Wily orders the heels to go to his secret hideout in the mountains and that is that. Jump cut to a closeup shot of Roll repairing Rush's circuits. Rock has a transmitter that looks like a gun as Rush Jet needs emergency repairs to boot as Rock wants Brain Bot as his gun like transmitter is beeping. The device is a Dr. Light homing device with stats as we head deeper into the forest near a lake and a Dr. Wily fortress without the skull motif for some strange reason. Roll continues to repair Rush as Rock is on his radio device to Dr. Ligth as they exchange notes for a while. Dr. Light says it's vital to get Brain Bot back from Dr. Wily and there's no need to explain why. Roll finishes the repairs on Rush and Rush licks Roll in the face to prove that he's fine. Rock is pleased as Dr. Light is sending the Landblazer back to Rock and the heels are doomed. Jump cut to inside the secret lab as Brain Bot is wrapped up like a mummy and tied down. Brain Bot acts like nothing is amiss, he is back to being totally clueless, more so than Pedro F'N Pony. The robot masters are getting exactly what audiences got with Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory and Dark Man tells him to be quiet. I don't think telling him to shut up would work either. He is a robotic Drake Mallard at this point.

Dr. Wily is on the computer monitor and he is not loving life and calls the robots stupid. Not because he thinks Sheldon is the bees-knees; but because Brain Bot's head is beeping with a red dot because it's a homing signal from Dr. Light's homing device. The robot masters are taken aback by this, but Dr. Wily has a point there since Brain Bot is effectively blowing the heels' cover. Dr. Wily tells them to be alert as Brain Bot claims that he's Dr. Light's robot and almost gives away the entire scheme before the robot masters tell him to shut up. Jump cut to Rock in the Landblazer ready to go as Roll is on Rush Jet. They basically break into the secret fortress using more whiplashing jump cuts than an average Chargeman Ken episode. It looks so awkwardly bad as Rock tells Roll to guard the doors to not let anyone in or out. Dr. Wily is the only one out and the rest aren't going to escape unless they are overpowered. Unless you want to make sure Brain Bot doesn't turn on you, whom hasn't yet. Snake Man notices Rock on the monitor and all the heels take a tied up Brain Bot and exit stage left as Rock breaks down the door a good five seconds too late. Heels go to the back and jump into a conveniently placed motorboat on the dock with Brain Bot and drives away. Rock stops and transforms the Landblazer into a Water Skiing Blazer. The chase is on as Guts Man proclaims this to be unfair. Tell that to the judge, Guts Man. Guts Man throws a really bad looking gernade at Rock and it works, because apparently, saying the term "blue dweeb"...Oh wait, Rock got a water pillar and comes down without much trouble. Guts Man throws more gernades and Rock dodges them all as Rock shoots the water and creates a tidal wave. WHAT?! I guess this is a BS&P decision to allow the heels to land on the ground without killing them due to the no kill rule, but there are no humans on that motorboat. Unless they are implying that Brain Bot is really a human with a robot brain. As creepy as it sounds. Okay, they did it so the spot would be all heels and Brain Bot get the lawn dart spot, it's not as funny as Chargeman Ken's version. Rock lands the Landblazer and pops Brain Bot from the sand. Brain Bot is concussed as he wants to run dignosistics and Rock tells him to do it later. Brain Bot is hapless right now, so running them now wouldn't be a bad thing. Instead, Brain Bot gets in with Rock and starts screwing around with the control. Rock has no one to blame but himself.

Thankfully, Rock cuts him off before any more damage can be done to anyone and the dome to the cockpit is closed. The heels all get out and Cut Man still buried himself like he's at the beach. The babyfaces leave via the Landblazer as Snake Man thinks they are sunk. However, Proto Man thinks otherwise. He has a plan. I don't trust him having a plan after seeing Future Shock. Jump cut to the babyfaces riding in the desert as Roll proclaims that Dr. Wily will be hellbent to get Brain Bot back so, Rock has a plan of his own: Brain Bot is going to create a device for him and Brain Bot is so happy that he's more awkward than Sheldon ever was. This is going to be a disaster, I just know it. Head to Thirsty Glutch AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as I was disappointed that it wasn't called Red Glutch as a callback to the first episode of season two that I ranted on, which was also an episode featuring Snake Man. Everyone gets out as we hear a clunking sound in the back of the Landblazer, Rock grabs some white/purple thingie and brings it in the hotel since they are spending the night in said hotel. We head into the hotel room with Roll sleeping in a bed, Rush sleeping on the floor and the two dweebs sharing a bed to the left. They might as well be actual twins. So, a Rolling Cutter is used on the door and in comes the heels running in that the noise should wake up the babyfaces with ease. It doesn't...until Guts Man cannot fit through the door, so he breaks through the wall and that wakes everyone up. It's so hilarious that Cut Man is smarter than almost everyone on the heel side in this episode. Even so, Snake Man uses Search Snake to destroy Roll's bed, Dark Man uses electromagnetc net to bind everyone except Brain Bot to the wall. So, Guts Man gets his ass spared in spite of the fact that he almost screwed up the plan. Guts Man grabs Brain Bot and blows off Rock to end the segment 14 minutes in. So Guts Man's dumb act actually worked as planned. Yikes! Outside of some bad animation spots, this has been one of the best episodes of season two so far. Oh wait, it gets better: "MEGA! MEGA! RIGHT BACK! MESSAGES! WOO-WOO!"

After the commercial break, we head inside Skull Fortress RS as the heels and Brain Bot (who is not binded this time) are having a race to see who can out Sheldon, Sheldon. The robot masters tell BB to shut up...AGAIN! Dr. Wily doesn't like him because he talks too much, but he admires him for talking too much because Brain Bot is a useful idiot. Proto Man blows off Rock for being an idiot as usual. Dr. Wily brings out the BRAINWASHING HEADPHONES OF DOOM as Brain Bot calls it a mass downloading device, so Brain Bot is as afraid of Torrent as a copyright maximal. Dr. Wily puts on the headset as Proto Man is readying to transfers all the data from Brain Bot to the computer. Brain Bot then changes to...Rock's voice and takes off the headset. The heels are shocked and appalled as Brain Bot turns into Mega Man because this is a swevere! Dr. Wily is not loving life as Rock shows off a black box containing a morphing device as he informs Dr. Wily that Brain Bot is almost at Calfornia now. Wait, Rock's a blue dweeb; he couldn't formulate a plan like this. I smell something rotton in California! Fire fight ensues as Rock swings on a pipe, Cut Man takes Rock down to the ground with the Rolling Cutter. Proto Man surrounds Rock, Blues shoots, Rock gets hit, falls into Snake Man. Ooops! Someone didn't think this all the way through and it's wasn't the writer here. Rock touches Snake Man's arm, WEAPON GET TIME~! Rock shoots the Search Snake, destroys the computer controls and then blasts through the wall. Rock tries to bail, but Dark Man uses the electromagnetic net and stops Rock dead in his tracks. Even when Rock dominates, they find a way to make Rock look like a blue dweeb. Should have destroyed the robots, it's not like that breaks the robot laws in anyway. Yes, it's time for Cartoon Duck Syndrome, robot style as Guts Man wants to kill Rock; but Dr. Wily tells them to stop. Compassion?! From Dr. Wily?! NAAAHHHHHHH... He just wants to crush him into a can. Rock is bound to a conveniently placed table to place him in the crusher. Dr. Wily explains that he uses it to crush useless robots, and if you watch this in order, it is beyond creepy and in fact, might explain in it's own perverse way the fates of Star Man, Fire Man and even Needle Man in them not coming back after one episode. Again, the show is episodic through; so it's only mere speculation on my part.

Anyhow, Proto Man pulls the lever (JESUS~!) and the crusher slowly comes down on Rock and we fade to black (also very rare in this series) and we head back into the sky over the desert as Brain Bot is wearing the Stealth Suit with Roll and Rush following. Brain Bot cannot go through ONE second without acting like a Sheldon know-it-all. Sadly, Brain Bot is funnier than Sheldon which is why I'm not completely sick of him even at this point. Roll cuts him off and hopes Rock is all right, which he is clearly not. Brain Bot decides to accept the controls and move on which is a bit of a humble moment for him. Wily Machine RS arrives with Dr. Wily piloting him as Proto Man proclaims that they will reach Brain Bot within two minutes. Cut back to Rock and the suspenseful crusher knives crusher sequence as Rock breaks the cuffs, shoots a shot to deflect off the wall and into the console and destroying the console, causing the crusher to stop completely. By the way, Rock makes a Minnesota Fats reference in terms of billard shots. Okay. His knowledge of billards is better than the animators doing real billards in TaleSpin anyway. Jump cut back to Brain Bot flying and being a showoff as Wily Machine arrives from behind as Dr. Wily shows his sexist side to Roll (calling a woman a girl, of course). Then we get the funniest moment I have ever heard: Dr. Wily claims that this requires precise shooting and doesn't want to hit Brain Bot....then proceeds to shoot and hit Brain Bot from behind in one shot. Homo Sapien Vampiris with Cluster B tendiences. Also know as a psychopath. To be fair, the missile exploded before it made contact with Brain Bot, so the concussion and the power of suggestion means that Dr. Wily didn't damage nor hit him. Doesn't matter, he's still a heel either way. Roll dodges missiles as Rush Jet gets the turbo jets on. Roll uses the arm to change into the BUZZSAW OF DEATH and shoots one and cuts a missile in half for easy destruction. Dr. Wily is pissed and wants the electromagnetic net on Brain Bot, because Dark Man has been awesome since the burial earlier in the episode. Brain Bot is so stupid looking when he swims, it's so silly. He cannot run the suit as if his life depended on it and so they use a regular net to capture him with ease. Considering Rock's design is similar to Brain Bots, BB is a green dweeb. The electricy comes in, but Brain Bot is so panicky that he puts the jet boots on and manages to land on top of the Wily Machine RS's roof.

The robot masters are confused, Proto Man is confused, Dr. Wily isn't confused, he's going to shake the roof so that the heels can catch him. Why not just open the roof and let him inside so Brain Bot is easier to capture. This feels like toxic masulinity all over again. Roll and Rush come in as Rush invokes the vacuum cleaner of doom to suck Brain Bot's face. HAHA! This episode now officially sucks! Sorry, Ron; this episode is awesome and doesn't need your commentary today. You'll still get your five cents on the royalities though, because I'm a generous man...Okay, we move on as Roll drops him before he can cut another Sheldon-equse promo, but Brain Bot is at least not dumb enough to free fall into the ground. That would have sucked and Brain Bot would be hating life. Dr. Wily is pissed off and urge to kill is rising. Dr. Wily shoots to kill with his Wily Machine RS lasers as the babyfaces are dodging them. Roll tells Brain Bot to use the weapons in the suit. Brain Bot complies as he unleashes the MISSILE OF DEATH. The missile teases hitting Wily Machine RS; but Brain Bot in his own way is like "Wait, I cannot kill Dr. Wily; that's against the robot law; I'm going to give it a homing signal and redirect the missile straight at me!", and the missile turns around and heads straight for Brain Bot. I laughed and laughed and laughed some more. SOMEONE GAVE A SHIT ABOUT THE DAMN LAW OF ROBOTICS in this show and it was at the worst possible time. You wonder why I think the laws of robotic are total BS. Brain Bot bails as we get the chase of death and I'm rooting for the missile here so the laws of robotics can have proper naunce so that Homo Sapien Vampiris cannot use them to their own advantage. A turtle hides in his shell, BB tries to put the missile through the truck and it doesn't work either. Brain Bot is panicking and has no one but itself to blame. Brain Bot is the defintion of someone who thinks he knows everything, but is too stupid to live to be humble. Then Brain Bot realizes "Hey, there's Wily Machine RS; I was wrong about the law of robotics. I'm going to fly in front of it and let the missile hit the machine." and that is exactly what it does. WOW! Somehow, the machine is a frame of itself and no one is seriously hurt. That makes no sense, but it was written as a joke due to the obvious "wah-wah-wah-wahhhh" music in the background.

The machine breaks apart and the heels get WARNERED~! They fall through the roof of a conveniently place farm house and into the hay as a BS&P decision to cushion Dr. Wily's fall. Pfft, whatever; it's not like they were going to kill him in storyline anyway. Dr. Wily pops up and speaking either in German, or he literally said "goddamn" and got away with it. That probably pissed off more Christians than Baloo saying "fucking" in TaleSpin. Jump cut to the babyfaces in the air and then a ground shot of the heels coming out of the hay storage house and Dr. Wily is perfectly fine now. You wonder why he's a vampire now? Dr. Wily orders all robots to shoot the babyfaces out of the sky and the fire fight is on as the A-Team firing is in full effect here with the babyfaces dodging everything no matter how impossible it is. Speaking of impossible; Rock flies in on one of the Skull Copters because he has to play hero despite Brain Bot somehow holding his own. Time for this installment of CUT MAN IS INCOMPENTENT~! Rock fires a missile, all the robot masters bail except for...wait for it...Cut Man! Cut Man looks at missile and blows up. This somehow forces Cut Man to bonk into Guts Man while the frame rate is horrible here. It took nearly twenty minutes for that to happen. This is literally a Disney feature episode in comparsion to the rest of the show. The heels all bail on cue as Cut Man and Guts Man literally crumble while following Dr. Wily's retreat. I believe he also says the word "dead" inbetween his retreat promo. The German accent is so thick in this promo, I had a hard time knowing what he actually said. Snake Man and Dark Man aren't there, but they probably fled in a different direction; so I wouldn't call it written out by teleportation. Both will be back in future episodes, though. The babyfaces all cheer as Roll proclaims "California, here we come" as they head to the city in such an obvious fashion that it renders the secrecy of the Brain Bot completely pointless. The actual research centre building doesn't help their cause either. Rush is whistling, of course. We head inside a room as an Americanized version of Doctor Cossack thanks the babyfaces for a job well done as Brain Bot has wired attached to his brain and Brain Bot is so happy to make friends that he wants to make it up to them. No, don't you Pidge-wannabe! The robot babyfaces' expressions say it all, they are tired of him and sick of his shit. They might as well be lion men, since that's how cats are. Rock holds Brain Bot and informs him to call a taxi next time as Rush agrees with him to end the episode at 24:00 approx. This was the best episode of the series by a mile! Brain Bot was Sheldon/Pidge assholely for my pleasure, and he sort of saved the day in his own way. **** 3/4 (95%).


THE REVIEW LINE

Well, I cannot believe that a season two episode managed to be the best episode of the series; but this episode managed. Brain Bot was the star of this episode: A Rock-look-alike with a cross between Pidge from Voltron and Sheldon from Big Bang Theory, the finish alone was one of the best middle fingers to the entire law of robotics angle and somehow Brain Bot still managed to defeat Dr. Wily almost by himself. Dark Man was the second star of the show and really a great comeback story after being buried in the episode right from the start. Every scene was funny, the story was simple and easy to follow, Rock manages to be awesome while still being a blue dweeb at the end and almost everything clicked. The biggest downside was the animation of course, but 75% of the time, it looked really good and the expressions were great here. Rock overselling the dodging early on was a treat to watch, even if the last 25% of the episode looked like they forgot inbetweeners. Overall, this is the best episode of the series and I loved every single second of it. When this show is great, it is really great. When it's bad, it's hilariously hideously bad . So....

Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.

 

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