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Mega Man Ruby Spears: Bad Day At Peril Park Rant
Reviewed: 05/28/2022
Doctor Wily Is A Peril Park Gone Bad Day!
So, we continue season two of the blue dweeb's life with episode #25 (On the DVD, it's episode #24) as Dr. Wily's amusement park, Fun World, is really a front to hypnotize the visitors into robots. How does this episode fare? Let's rant on shall we...?!
Bad Day At Peril Park is written by Michael Maurer and was directed by Katsumi Minoguchi.
We begin this episode with the most obvious error before the episode even starts: The summary of this episode claims that the name of the park is known as Fun World. So, why isn't the episode called "Bad Day At Fun World" or "Peril Day At Fun World". Did BS&P crap their pants over the episode title or something? I hope that was the case and not writing incompentence on the writer because this stood out in front of me and I call it a bad sign for the episode right from the start. Episode officially opens with a abandoned park as a brown haired boy wearing a light green shirt runs out of some conveniently placed bushes being chased by a robotic dog that looks like Sigma's pet from Mega Man X only in grey colors. Bobby's selling is awful here and the animation looks like it's straight out of the 1980's; which isn't all that unusual. Then a bunch of robot looking men in green suits come out as I ask: Did Michael Maurer watch Chargeman Ken or something?! Bobby climbs up a tree and taunts the dog, the dog bites the tree in response. In this show, every robot dog has to have the Rush abilitiy to bite something bigger than they are on command, if need be. Bobby is forced to bail stage left as the green "robot" men who look the Americanized version of the robots from Mega Man Zero find him and want to get him. They shoot lasers at Bobby who is literally in the river, dodging them weakly. Then we see more denizens doing human being things, including someone playing chess with a robot. Jump cut to an area where there is a trampoline, hoop that is not on fire and a swing set as an official wearing a top hat and suit is addressing the crowd. There is a robot dog contest going on, according to said official. There is a poodle robot dog named Lady Siclia, owned and operated by Madame Belvadeer (?sp) as the robot poodle jumps and rolls to victory through the obstacles and lands on a giant cork on top of a foundation. The crowd shot when they pop is high comedy in itself, by showing the most animated faces with the least amount of animation actually being done. Rock, Rush and Roll are now on the stadium podium as Rock pets Rush and admits that the poodle has some smooth moves. This is a sign that Rush is going to lose badly here, and damn it to hell if I am not right. Rush basically destroys the cork and I'm more shocked that despite the rough treatment, that was the only thing he broke in this entire competition.
Also: the premlin dogs must have sucked much much worse than that for Rush to be one of the two finalists in this contest of literally nothing...AND THE ROCK SAYS NOTHING. The sound of the crowd has 50% groaning, while the animation has it as 100% laughing. Canned heat can backfire when you don't know what you are doing. Rush spits water when he pops up as Rock and Roll console Rush. Rock claims that he's #1 with him, at least Rock didn't punch down on Rush so being a blue dweeb here is perfectly fine as Bobby runs in, knowing Rock right away. Bobby sounds like every kid voice I have ever heard in modern times and it just makes me respect Jymn Magon for having even Alan Roberts voicing Kit and Janna Michaels voicing Molly. Bobby claims that these "robots" are humans turning into robots and Roll blows him off for having an overactive imagination. Oh, and Bobby points out at the entrance and blows off Roll for that statement. Oh, and now there are FIVE Green Human Robots instead of four earlier on in the episode. Laser beams are shooting at the crowd as they bail and somehow, no one gets nailed by one. Everyone on the ground bails stage left and Rush hides in the water like the poor-dog's Scooby-Doo that he is. One of the green human robots is shooting and chasing Bobby as some of the music sounds like something out of Super Metroid. Rock has a problem because Bobby might be telling the truth and thus he cannot kill human, thus the no kill rule. However, Rock is still allowed to kick humans from behind and shoot bridges in such a way that the human robots go flying and might actually die. The robot poodle somehow is still here and being stalked by Sigma's pet dog of doom as Rush runs in and does have a better Kung-fu stance than Cut Man does. That is not a compliment nor backhanded one by the way. Cigma Dog of Doom headbutts Rush and Rush goes flying. Way to go Rush, way to go. Maybe being owned by the blue dweeb isn't what it was meant to be. GET IN THE BIN, RUSH~! Cigma Dog runs in and jumps, so Rush uses the trash can lid and kills Cigma Dog with it. It's so much funnier when Baloo uses it because Baloo might die and somehow, the lid is bulletproof. Rush jumps out thinking he has won, and then DOG HEAD BITES DOG~! Rush jumps like he has a super ball up his ass, and the head of Cigma Dog is pretty much heavier than a super ball. Rush tumbles to the ground and that is that.
Jump cut to Roll doing the weakest dodging of laser fire ever and they should just get hit and no sell it because this is beyond stiff. Then we get the funniest thing in this series: Roll's arm changes to a microwave oven and out pops a bunch of baked potatoes which are so hard as rocks that she then brings out her hockey stick arm and shoots them and it nails the human robots good. Since none of them are injured, these potato pucks might be soft enough to not get destroyed, but hard enough to bring the robots down. I laughed, and laughed and laughed some more. One of the robots blue belts gets removed during this and the human robots look like hockey players without sticks, so the gag actually works a lot better than you would think. The human robots of doom bail stage right as Bobby is so happy not to be laser dust. He also tells Rock and Roll that these humans went to Fun World. Again, Peril Park would make more sense here since it's in the episode title, this is like Wizard World all over again, hopefully this episode won't forget what the name is and get it wrong like Teddy Ruxpin's episode got it so wrong. Bobby claims that they got kidnapped and brainwashed basically, which Roll blows off as fantasy. The fact that a bunch of green "robots" and an evil robot dog attacked everyone, including Bobby; should have everyone thinking: "Maybe we should believe Bobby until it's proven otherwise" because Roll's blowoff would assume that nothing happened and Bobby deserved it. Rush comes in with a blue belt which contains a drivers license and Roll realizes that maybe Bobby is onto something because robots can drive anything without a license. WHAT?! Considering that humans need licenses to drive cars and robots are created by humans, shouldn't robots also be licensed, since we are treating Rock and Roll like human beings?! It's a bad logic break, but at least I can see why Michael wrote it that way: It was convince Roll that Bobby might be telling the truth. Also, Bobby states that he was kidnapped with his parents, but he only escaped. Rock is certain that Wily is behind this because that is what he does in every episode. Rock and Roll decide to check out Fun Park as a green human robot is behind a tree and has a purple ring attached to his finger. This logically leads to back to Skull Fortress RS as Dr. Wily and Proto Man are watching on the monitor as the human robot informs him that they are heading to the amusement park and Rock saved Bobby.
Dr. Wily is fuming and so angry that he cannot resist calling Rock a blue dweeb for the first time in this episode. Dr. Wily's plan is to make the human race into robots for world domination and it's so refreshing to see the clairty of this show in general. Dr. Wily gets on the transmitter to inform all robots to get in the Skullcopter. Next shot: Wily Machine RS flies away from Skull Fortress. Yeah, this is going to be one of those episodes for sure. We head into the polar mountains with a green helicopter flown by Dr. Light as he deduces that the name on the license was someone named Harold Johnson, who is not the father of Bobby since he doesn't react to the news. Dr. Light deduces that Dr. Wily has created a cybernetic mutation ray and that everyone is in grave danger now. Bobby proclaims that they already are because one of the Skullcopters actually shows up containing Ring Man. Ring Boomerang is shot from his head and it hits the helicopter with ease, making Bobby look like a complete dork. Rock gets out on Rush Jet literally in a jump cut and there is a fire fight in mid-air as Ring Man throws so many Ring Boomerangs that the NES would crash if he did it in the actual game, and this is enough to force Rock off of Rush with ease. Rock then takes advantage of this by getting under two returning Boomerangs; just to get revenge on Kit for roasting him in The Day The Moon Fell. Damn, I knew the blue dweeb would stoop to that low soon enough. Then he flicks the boomerangs into Ring Man's Skullcopter and destroys it completely. Closeup shot shows that there's no way it could have been destroyed this way as Ring Man falls into the drink complete with the underwater background that wasn't underwater at all. This episode was rushed and not in a good way. Rush flies in to make the save and then Rock taunts Ring Man without his ring as he leaves. Closeup shot of Ring Man shows ring on his head. The two back shots that sandwich this scene show no ring. Scene change back to inside the helicopter as Dr. Light thanks the backup engine for making this ride smooth and you can guess who is the backup engine on the next shot without me telling you that. The helicopter lands on the road in the parking lot of Fun World; which I am certain is a violation of DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS~!) as Fun World's mascot is a kangaroo. Okay. The park has a decent visitor record even if most of it isn't animated or anything.
The babyfaces all walk in together and I'll say this: Fun Park is better animated and has more creativity in it's rides than the first episode of Chargeman Ken did. Bobby basically cuts the more or less promo that Colonel Spigot said about the friendship festival in The Golden Sporcket of Friendship, except Rock is immune to not being trusted. So, Roll and Rush cannot be trusted at all. Bigot. Rock checks the guide of doom and decides to check all the rides to find the trigger to being brainwashed. Jump cut to a Vendor Bot showing off green pearl rings to two women wearing the same outfit in different colors, and the blond hair woman with the green beret and the black hair woman with hoop earrings take a ring each. They size up their rings as the Vendor Bot (which rings as shoulder pads, so you know Ring Man was behind this creation, so Ring Woman would suffice as well) goes over to the babyfaces and Bobby no sells wanting a ring. While this is a rigid gender role thing, it shows Bobby clearly knows that the ring is the key to their transmutation. Dr. Light wants a road map and the Vendor Bot gives Dr. Light one, including an extra ring. It's the smallest ring of all time because it doesn't fit on any of Dr. Light's fingers. See, there are advantages to being big and fat, so sod off you fat shamers out there. Vendor Bot bails to a spot and informs Dr. Wily that they are here. The babyfaces walk around and then are cut by...I cannot believe I'm typing this....A mascot duck who I think is clearly the debuting Hard Man, Guts Man in a kangaroo suit and...I cannot believe this even more...Cut Man in a joey suit in the pouch of Guts Man. CUT MAN IS A DORK~! This isn't him being incompentet, this is him intentionally not caring about his self esteem anymore. How low on the diginity scale do you have to be in order to think this is a great idea?! Yes, Kit dressed up as a seal and it was hilarious, but at least it was a babyface trying to outsmart the heels. These heels couldn't outsmart my desk and it's not even a living thing. Roll buys this hook, line and sinker; while Rush doesn't buy it at all and wants to bite Guts Man's leg again. When the dog is smarter than you, it's time to pack it in and get another gig. Rush bites the tail of Guts Man and pulls it off while Roll calls him having a screw loose. Hard Man's quacking techinque is so laughably horrible that it sounds like something out of a MLB oddities moment...Oh wait. We get a glorified shot of Guts Man's ass by the way.
The two dumb heels blow their cover as Cut Man fires Rolling Cutters from the pouch to add cowardly to his title of cowardly dork. Fire fight ensues as the denizens watch on, one of them thinks it's a stunt show. Pfft, whatever. Cut Man uses Rolling Cutters on the train tracks; train tracks get cut, train falls, Rock shoots the buster to make a hole in it, it crashes down, Rock opens the door and walks out. I hope that train was empty because, BS&P has a no kill rule and this might have actually crossed the line. Well, almost anyway. The inside of the train looks unfinished by the way as Rock shoots and Cut Man takes one in the chest and gets knocked the F out. Okay, that was too simple: Cut Man bonks into Guts Man, Guts Man sits on the weight that makes the Strong Man game ball go up and it destroys the bell on top, bell goes flying and bonks into Cut Man's head and then knocks him the F out. Yeah, that was much better than what I reported, sorry about that. The denizens still cheer because they are more clueless than Pedro F'N Pony at this point. Cut back to Roll doing the karate pose and demands the man in the duck suit to show his pus. The duck mascot is like "with pleasure" and it's Hard Man, who looks like Hard Man in the games if the art style was Americanized. Hard Man's voice is so silly and proclaims that Roll will have a "hard" time beating him. He is like that dorkly loser dad, only far more cringeworthy than when Dean Malanko did the same thing in WCW in late 1999. Deano Machino as the worst dorky dad in the world is funny because he looks like one and dresses up like one. Roll is up to this as she does the most vicious roundhouse kick of all time and she falls down and Hard Man absolutely no sells it. That was not Mallory's "miss by six inches" kick, that kick hit Hard Man in the face full bore that I was expecting a decapatation. Hard Man then takes Roll by the ankle, does the BOWSER TAILSPIN OF DEATH and throws her into a bunch of metal milk jugs set up for a game and takes a really sick bump in the process. This was no wimpy bump Roll took, this was ugly and brutal. Considering that Roll crumbled Fire Man and Elec Man, two hard robot masters in Mega Man 1, Hard Man is much harder to beat here so far! Roll recovers and uses her vacuum cleaner arm to suck up the tennis balls while proclaiming that she's ready to play hardball. Now this episode really sucks. HAHA!
Ron Sparks: It sucks more than Shaun Desmond.
Plus, it goes to show you that there is such a thing as a dorky woman/mother, because these hard puns are killing me softly with their song. Roll shoots tennis balls, which is fitting since Mega Buster pellets are pretty much the same thing and Hard Man no sells this without being damaged at all. Hard Man is literally hard shelled, so to speak. He's not flimsy, he'll send Moxley back to the garbage indies! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...(Anthony Bowens: Dumbass!) THE ACCLAIMED HAVE ARRIVED~! Yeah, I'm in a good mood today. Then we discover when Roll shoots one of them in the face, Hard Man somehow sells it and goes down! Wait, what?! So kicks in the face are no sold, but a tennis ball shot to face, causes him to sell?! No, this is bullcrap! Or maybe he's the Hard Devil...BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Come on now, we all know, the eye of the Yellow Devil/Rock Monster (because Nintendo hates Christianity, although considering the Republications, can anyone be blamed for hating them now?) is the weakness. Roll calls it strike three, after about twenty pitches were thrown, so that created a lot of foul balls, the strongest part of Hard Man's body. HAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm... Guts Man throws trash around as Rock calls him out for littering in Doctor Wily's own created park! He is such a blue dweeb. Guts Man blows him off and throws what appears to be a toy missile and it bonks into Rock's chest, Rock goes flying into the front of the roller coaster ride. Guts Man teleports to the actual control room ride with a three button system which Guts Man pushes the lower left button. Somehow, Rock foolishly gets in position for the automatic shoulder belts to tie him up in the process. Yes, safety first, but Rock was forced onto the ride, so it doesn't work. The roller coaster rides up as Cut Man fires more Rolling Cutters at the roller coaster track and destroys it slowly as Rock is coming down. The continuity of this is so bad that the cars raced down the area where Cut Man actually did the cuts, but it acts all solid and the actual collapse is further down. That short ride is longer than it appears as the ramp is made with dust effects below to end the segment almost nine minutes in. This has been a complete mess thus far, but most of this is still funny. Cut Man as a joey is MANY BUYS~!
After the commercial break; we repeat the scene with different animation that makes no sense with the previous scene. Of course! The FPS shots make it look like the park has a lot more trees than it actually has. The cars go off the ramp and the Rock one has to do the movie stunt bump while the rest just simply drop straight down off the cliff separate. Rock goes through the shoulder bars and somehow there is a conveniently placed wire that came literally out of nowhere. WHAT?! This has to be a BS&P decision, this makes no sense otherwise. Rock notices something and then lets go, or his hands got blistered which there was no indication of that happening, even if that makes more sense. Rock's car lands in the log riding water ride of doom. Somehow, this car goes past that without any indication of breaking from the water log ride, so that was nonsensical. Rock's car is sliding on rock as he yells at the denizens to bail, and they all bail despite the fact that they wouldn't have been hit even if they didn't even move. Jump cut to Cut Man and Guts Man loving life and then hating it within thirty seconds as Rock bonks into both of them, Guts Man and Cut Man gets dropped onto the weight of the Dunk Tank Of Doom. A kid in an aqua green shirt throws a tennis ball on the bell, it rings and the robot masters get dunked! GET IN THE DUNK BIN~! Rock then does the sensible thing to stop in this situation: Just angle the car so it on it's side to stop it's speed and then flop down. Which is exactly what happens as the babyfaces all run in to console Rock. Bobby calls this extreme and I shudder to think that he's an ECW mutant now. Rock gets out somehow and is perfectly fine. We do a weak martial arts zoom in as Rock wants to check every ride to see which ones triggers Dr. Wily's brainwashing technique, so to speak. Scene change to the train riding on the tracks with the insides slightly more finished than the last time since the babyfaces are inside. Roll claims that they checked six more rides since the rollercoaster and nothing happening so far. Rock is pissed off while reading the guide paper of doom as he deduces that there are only two rides left: Ice Mountain and Fried Island complete with dragon motif on the front. Of course, the show completely gives away the whole plot by going to Fried Island right away as we head inside the computer room with Dr. Wily continuing to bark out orders while being a creepy perverted spy, which is his MO.
Also, Dr. Wily calls Rock a blue dweeb for the second time in this episode as Proto Man finally speaks for the first time nearly ten minutes into this episode! Apparently, his "don't burst a blood vessel" is Blues' new catchphrase in this season now. We get a shot of the train on the monitor with the lamest far shot artwork of Rock and Bobby. They might as well shown nothing at all with dark tinted windows and that would have made more sense. Closeup shots of the train have better artwork though as Blues basically states the obvious for us as Dr. Wily has a Krackpotkin plan because he controls all the rides, you see. The fun stops here (Riiigggghhhhtttttt...are you on woodchuck camera or something?!) as Dr. Wily manages to get the UFO RIDE OF DOOM saucers to fly off on their own towards the train, shooting lasers at that. Bobby is hoping for mom and dad to be human again as Rock panics. More shooting as Rock shoots the roof and goes up topside as it's Rock against the Americanized versions of Ring Ring from Mega Man 4 basically. Only the Ring Ring's are controlled by the joystick of Dr. Wily. If only those lasers could hit Rock; Dr. Wily could control Rock and intentionally send him to his demise... Yeah, Rock destroys them all and Dr. Wily sucks at video games because he is a cheating vampire with cluster...you guessed it. One Ring Ring remains as Rock goes into the tunnel of doom and they couldn't be bothered to make the tunnel pitch black so there is suspense to see if Rock succeeded in shooting the Ring Ring down or not and just make Dr. Wily look like a bigger dork. Rock enjoyed sticking it to him, which is a nice way of saying "kiss my ass"; Dr. Wily was having none of this insulting language. Proto Man has to show his cluster b traits by saying that Rock blaster is faster than anyone except for him; which is false by the way. Then Dr. Wily decides to basically speed up the train and Rock falls down. Somehow, this causes the train to seal the roof up in the process. Can this show do ANYTHING right, art wise? Bobby panics as the monorail (train, same thing basically) is sparking, so the babyfaces walk out the door despite the fact that they are about to free fall, so jumping out would make more sense. The babyfaces all land in the snow on Ice Mountain, because the writers think snow is so padded that they no sell injuries. DUMB! Monorail goes off the track seconds later and explodes off-screen stage left. Pfft, whatever.
The babyfaces pop up from their snowy graves spitting snow. Scene change to the Ice Mountain ride, which is basically a rollercoaster with a winter mountain motif and some cardboard looking yetis scaring the two women we saw earlier in the episode. Jump cut to the babyfaces slowly climbing the mountain. The babyfaces go inside the cave as Roll thinks Wily is panicking. You don't say?! Rush gets scared by the yeti who is not the WCW version of it and Rush buries himself literally in the snow as the other babyfaces laugh at him. Of course! Rock claims that it's a fake monster. I hope it was Hard Man in another disguise, because making Rock look like a literal blue dweeb is the meta of this show, basically. It wasn't as Rock pulls Rush's and his tail out of the snow and here comes Blues and Hard Man in the opposite direction. Wow, I don't think amusement rides work that way, but this is Dr. Wily we are talking about here. Blues and Hard Man jump off and land on the snow, babyfaces bail behind snowbanks. Fire fight ensues as Rock tells Roll to protect Bobby and Dr. Light as Rock runs interference. More shooting makes Gregory Weagle something something as Hard Man tells Blues to leave and he wants to give Rock a hard time. HA! Hard Man grabs a giant ice ball as the grab and throw animation frames was about the same as the NES video game basically. Rock kicks Ice Ball into slush, more buster shots to the chest, Hard Man no sells it. Roll should be like: AIM FOR HIS FACE~! Then we get a funny moment: Hard Man literally PUNCHES a buster shot and it deflects back into Rock's chest and knocks him the F out. I died when this happened. Rock literally has to backflip to avoid Hard Man doing the Dumptruck Screw Punch Of Death that probably would have crumbled Rock to bits. Hard Man grabs Rock's ankle and does the BOWSER TAILSPIN OF DEATH with animation frames that would make NES games hang their head in shame; and Rock gets thrown into the snow. Roll took a much worse bump than Rock did here. Hard Man stalks Rock and makes the fatal error of talking too much, so Rock shoots him in the mouth, Hard Man opens the mouth, eats the plasma shot and this effectively kills him good. This is why submitting to arrogrance is an awful idea. Ask Drake Mallard about it. Sadly, Hard Man didn't PUT OUT THE ROCK MAN~! That would have been even funnier. Rock ruins the promo; "Harder they crumble" works better.
Then he gets shot in the chest by Blues. Blue dweeb, indeed and irony for submitting to arrogrance in a far more pathetic fashion! At least Hard Man's promo made more sense than Rock's. Rock is on his ass and then his Rock Buster fizzles out. HA! Proto Man's plan worked and even Blues is surprised that it worked out as well as he did. He has been so use to failure that this is a dub for him. Rock then notices the conveniently placed Hard Man's arm as Proto Man thinks he's won, he hasn't. WEAPON GET TIME~ ensues as it's the dreaded Hard Knuckle. Only it's grey colored when Rock uses it and his arm doesn't separate, the buster arm stays the same. Blues gets hit in the chest and he takes a much more nasty bump into the snow than Rock does. Come on, now! Bobby cheers for victory or Blue's death. I cannot tell which one at this point. Then, the yeti returns and grabs Bobby, Roll fires a bomb into the yeti's face and it reveals...Guts Man! Even though Yeti's body would be more suitable for Cut Man and it's not like Cut Man is too small to grab Bobby anyway. Guts Man runs away with Bobby out of the cave, Rush runs in and bites Guts Man on the leg because of course Rush does. Guts Man kicks Rush away and Rush's bump is only slightly more nasty than Rock's. Rock runs in and somehow he doesn't even know Guts Man got Bobby until Roll tells him even though they were in the same area. What a blue dweeb?! Guts Man climbs the mountain with Bobby in his arms and gains a new power: making skis on his feet. Ummm, yeah; I cannot explain why, but whatever. And his feet are snow white instead of flesh colored now.
Guts Man skis down as the babyfaces follow him on the Rush snowmobile mode. They are all headed to Fried Island as at least one boat filled with people are already heading inside the island. We get a scene with the two women from earlier holding each other in fear as one of them claims that they saved the best for the last, which they will not remember the ride after it's all over, if Dr. Wily gets his way. The babyfaces arrive as Rock has basically deduced the whole thing and wants his Marine Gear as we scene change to Rock dressed up in the Marine Suit from Terror Of The Seven Seas. Rock dives underwater and despite a clear purple beam being shown front in front of Rock and going above it would not trip it up without detection, he trips the beam anyway. You wonder why Dr. Wily calls him a blue dweeb so many times?! Cut to the computer room with Dr. Wily noticing that the security has spotted Rock underwater swimming. Dr. Wily has prepared for his next surprise for him as Rock is swimming and out comes a water dragon with Mighty Hercules screaming sound effects. Also, a nasty tongue too as Rock proclaims that he sure got his money worth on this ride as the Mecha Leviathan rushes Rock with anime background that is the best animated scene of the episode thus far. Again, this is not a complement nor a backhanded version of it as we end the segment 16 minutes in.
After the commercial break, Rock is dodging robot leviathan underwater as Rock pops up into the surface after the dragon destroys some coral reefs. Leviathan jumps into the air to bump into Rock as the denizens on the motor boat are loving every minutes, too bad that's the last thing they will ever be happy too, if the vampire with cluster b traits has his...you guessed it. Roll, Rush and Dr. Light notice Rock has been exposed and Rush turns into a jet ski and the babyfaces get on. Why didn't you just use Rush Marine here so you too don't get detected so obviously by Dr. Wily on the computer monitor literally in the next shot?! As funny as this episode is, it's also really stupid. Dr. Wily is controlling the serpent as it bashes Rush with the tail and the babyfaces are in the water. Somehow, the tail grabs them sans Rock and teases eating them as Rock panics yet again. Rock shoots a grappling hook into the serpent's face and I just realized how much Rock looks like Wave Man, instead of Bubble Man like everyone claims he is. Maybe he was planned for future episodes in season 3 since the show was a hot ticket at the time that got screwed by Bandai in the end; but still. Then we get the stupidest moment in the entire episode: Rock drags the serpent underwater, causing the other babyfaces to fall into the water. That is not the stupid part. Rock drags him through a rock hole to make the serpent crumble into pieces and it does. That is not the stupid part. Dr. Wily proclaims that Rock is no more. That in itself is not the stupid part since we don't see Rock. The stupid part is: The serpent is INTACT~! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?! None of this makes any sense because the head would have totally destroyed anyway. Anyhow, Dr. Wily calls him a blue pest as we see the head arrive at the island and the babyfaces all come out perfectly fine, which also makes no sense. Dr. Light notices that his kid ring from earlier is glowing bright purple as the babyfaces go into the direction of the sewers. Roll is hoping that Bobby can be saved as we gets blue lightning sparks on the roof as the castle door opens and all the denizens on the boat come in two by two in rollercoaster cars. HA! Guts Man has got rid of his yeti costume as Bobby pleads for them to listen to him, but Guts Man covers his mouth to complete the obvious kidnapping angle. The Fried Castle is basically a rollercoaster like funhouse with knights as it's clear that these denizens are too easily amused.
Guts Man orders them to put on their rings and the denizens foolishly put them on off-screen, and in Bobby's case, forced on off-screen since he's protesting this outrage. As this is happening, there is a trap door opening and out comes the babyfaces as some electrical laser weapon shoots at the denizens with rings on and turns them into robots. Despite BS&P trying to protect poor Bobby from being assaulted by Guts Man by having this happen off-screen, the laser hits him on-screen. Cut to a speaker where Dr. Wily completes the brainwashing and the denizens can only sell the brainwashing. Bobby's selling is great here as his promo is so awkward as Guts Man welcomes him to the club. Magically, all the denizens have changed into those green uniforms and are walking through the chamber as the babyfaces are running in the same direction in the foreground and somehow, Dr. Wily doesn't suspect a thing. Considering all the security measures, he did a piss poor job securing the castle itself. The babyfaces hide behind a wooden crate as the robot denizens are dressed and given laser weapons as Dr. Light and Rock deduce that Bobby wasn't quite correct in his thought that they literally turned into robots, but this is close enough to make the difference. Cut to Dr. Wily checking the monitors again as it's one of the rings not detecting a brainwashed denizen and it has GPS tracking right back to the babyfaces. HA! I am wrong again, Dr. Wily did think this one through in terms of security. This is also the third time he has called Rock a blue dweeb as Dr. Wily orders all robots to find him and destroy him. Rock and company hide down as Dr. Light notices the transmission beam in orange colors right in plain sight. Destroy that and the rings will be useless and everyone turns to normal because they are brainwashed into thinking that they are robots, not actual robots. Guess who finds them first.....wait for it...Bobby and his family! What cruel irony?! Rock has had enough of this nonsense as he still uses the grappling hook to tie up the family and knock them out. The babyfaces remove the rings and return them to normal. Bobby's parents are confused as Roll tells them to bail. So, about ten denizens as robot arrive, so Rock swings into action with his grappling hook and kicks them all in the face and knocks them down. BS&P?! What BS&P?! Rock gets to the orange device, but the lever is cut by a Rolling Cutter. WHAT?! I say this because Guts Man crumbles a wall down with Cut Man behind it; making it impossible for him to use the rolling cutter without going through the wall. Cut Man's model is off on every frame while Cut Man is cutting a generic promo as he fires a Rolling Cutter at Rock, Rock counters it, knocks Cut Man down with a kick and fires rope harpoons into the ground.
Now, we come to an even stupider moment than the serpent moment, at least the serpent was the animator's fault and was merely a logic break. This one is the writer's fault: Cut Man is down and not moving. The logical thing to do is do WEAPON GET TIME~, get the Rolling Cutter and destroy the thing with it since we are clearly at the finish. Nope! Rock and Guts Man have a stare down, Rock fires his last harpoon and Guts Man grabs it with ease, cuts a promo about horseshoes, while making a horseshoe out of the harpoon, which is funny I do admit and then throws the harpoon into Rock's chest, Rock impacts a computer and is down. There was also an orange computer thrown and destroyed by Guts Man in this sequence. Way to make your #1 babyface look like the stupidest person in the room. Rock then finds conveniently placed weapons, takes one, shoots a yellow laser at Guts Man after all the purple lasers in this episode alone, Guts Man gets hit, bonks into the transmission device, breaks it and the rings become useless, causing everyone to return to normal. What an ultra contrived finish this was and it made everyone look like total dweebs. The artwork is so bad that all the humans are the same face with two shades of skin at most. Dr. Light calls for everyone to bail as somehow that shot caused the castle to crumble. WHAT?! Also, TAKE OFF YOUR RINGS~! It doesn't have the same impact as My Fair Baloo, I'm sorry. The denizens take off their rings and all bail to the boat as the castle is sinking despite no evidence that Guts Man's break of the transmission device had a self-sinking move. Whatever, please let this episode end now! Cut to the babyfaces on the boat with Bobby taking off the uniform and throwing them into the water like a bunch of litter bugs. Bobby's mother still has the suit on, but the helmet is gone while Bobby's father took the whole suit off. Bobby's dad thanks Rock for saving the day as always despite being one of the worst messes ever. Rock thanks Bobby for risking his life to save them, the family has a bonding moment and Roll is loving life because she loves happy endings, which causes Rush to cry. Awww, my heart melted as the episode ends at 24:00 approx with "MEGA! MEGA! RIGHT BACK! MESSAGES! WOO-WOO!" just to make my life complete once again. This episode gets *** 1/2 on the trainwreck scale for Hard Man being the Hard Devil, the worst animation ever, Rock breaking the laws of robotic despite being BS anyway, logic breaks galore, one of the stupidest finish I have ever seen and Cut Man being the funniest joey in the history of animation. This episode was a total mess, but I laughed until I cried, so it worth it. -* (-20%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well, my first episode picked like a robot master stage sequence in the games and it was a complete and utter mess, highlighted by one of the most convoluted finishes ever, just to make good on the Mega Man 1 boxart, which doesn't work anyway. The story was beyond silly, the animation was so horrible, NES games were laughing at the frame rate, the artwork was all over the place, the logic was off in nearly every scene. However, despite all this, I laughed at Cut Man being in Guts Man pouch in the mascot scene. That was funny. Hard Man was also a great highlight despite his really stupid weakness, but it was a funny stupid weakness, so there's that. Rock has foresaken the robotic laws of not harming humans, but I have already addressed how BS it is and is basically a form of slavery. As long as he doesn't kill anyone, I'm fine with him being rough with humans just to save them. Overall, this episode sucked, but it was the definition of Easter Sadism and gave me some perverse pleasure, so it's a thumbs in the middle on the trainwreck scale at least. I should have guessed as much when the title of the episode made no sense with the park's name in the actual episode. So....
Thumbs way down in hell for this episode and I'll see you all next time.