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Twenty Years Of Muddy Puddles: Peppa Pig Series One #1

Reviewed: 01/02/2018
Additional Commentary/Editing: 07/08/2024

Peppa Pig! *SNORT*!

Welcome to 2018 everyone! Since I couldn't find the DVD set for Ducktales 2017 (yet; that is subject to change); I pretty much have run out of shows to review without having to check Youtube and risk having to review a DTVA show that might have been edited to avoid copyright issues. So; I decided that I want to get out of my "mostly DTVA and big children cartoons" zone and review my first pre-school cartoon ever! (2024 Gregory Weagle Says: And I don't regret it one bit as this has been the biggest ongoing show I have ever ranted on and will continue to until either I die or the show ends completely. The former is looking a lot more likely at this point.) Welcome to the Rant Shack: Peppa Pig! *SNORT*! This is also my very first cartoon made in Great Britian; although a few TaleSpin episodes had additional animation from the United Kingdom, this is the first show that was conceptualized in the UK. Sadly; no one who worked on TaleSpin worked on Peppa Pig. Yet. (That is still true actually.) According to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Peppa Pig is a children's television programme broadcasting on Thames Television (UK) Channel 5 and Nick Jr. in the UK, Nickelodeon/Nick Jr. in the USA, ABC 4 Kids in Australia and Discovery Kids in Latin America, including Brazil. Each episode is approximately 5 minutes long. The show revolves around Peppa, an anthropomorphic female pig, and her family and friends. Each of her friends is a different species of mammal. Peppa's friends are the same age as she is, and Peppa's younger brother George's friends are the same age as him. Episodes tend to feature everyday activities such as attending playgroup, going swimming, visiting their grandparents, cousins, going to the playground or riding their bikes. The characters wear clothes, live in houses, and drive cars, but still display some characteristics of the animals on which they are based. Peppa and her family snort like pigs during conversations in which they are speaking in English, the other animals make their respective noises when they talk, with some exhibiting other characteristics, such as the Rabbit family's communications of squeaking sounds and their enjoyment of carrots.

The Rabbits are also the sole exception to the rule of human-like habitation, in that they live in a burrow in a hill, although it does have windows and is furnished in the same way as the other houses. The characters also blush when embarrassed and their mouths are used to express other emotions such as sadness, happiness, irritation, bewilderment and confusion. Although the mammals are anthropomorphic, other animals are not, for example, Tiddles the tortoise, Polly Parrot, and the ducks. In addition, the narrator of the series John Sparkes reinforces the action and humour, saying things like "Oh, dear" when something unfortunate happens (such as George starts crying) or "Look out!" when a character is doing something unsafe (such as Peppa riding her bicycle without looking where she's going). The first series of 52 five-minute episodes started on Channel 5 on 31 May 2004, and had its American première as part of Cartoon Network's Tickle-U preschool television programming block on 22 August 2005, redubbed with American actors,[2] and Noggin in December 2007 and January 2008. As of 2014, the series currently airs on the Nick Jr. channel in the US. In the United Kingdom, it can also be seen on Nick Jr., the same with Portugal, Italy, Benelux, Scandinavia and Australia. In Taiwan, the show can be seen on Playhouse Disney. The second series of 52 episodes began on Channel 5 on Monday 4 September 2006, with Cecily Bloom replacing Lily Snowden-Fine as Peppa, amongst other cast changes. The third series started broadcasting on the Channel 5 kids block, Milkshake! on 4 May 2009 with Harley Bird replacing Cecily Bloom and Lily Snowden-Fine as Peppa. A 15-minute film called Peppa Pig: The Golden Boots[4] was released on 14 February 2015[5] alongside several episodes of the TV series.[6] As of December 2015, it had grossed £2,326,328.[7] A second film, branded a "cinema experience" was released on 16 March 2017, and was shown in cinemas on 7 April 2017. It features nine exclusive new episodes, four of which share the same theme, Peppa's holiday in Australia.

Between the episodes are segments with a live-action host named Daisy and Peppa and George as 3D puppets, based on the Peppa Pig Live stage show. Peppa Pig World, a family theme park located in the New Forest, Hampshire,[8] opened on 9 April 2011 at Paultons Park, Hampshire, UK with seven rides, an indoor play zone, a muddy puddles water splash park, smaller play areas and themed buildings. Peppa Pig, the Entertainment One (eOne) brand, grossed over £200 million in UK merchandise sales in 2010, far exceeding the 2009 figure of £100 million. Additionally, for the first time in the brand's history, NPD figures for the year reveal that Peppa Pig was the number one pre-school property in the total toy market for 2010 – moving up four places from its previous position in 2009. Now in its seventh year, new licensees continue to join the Peppa Pig licensing programme, which currently has 63 licensees on board.[9] In addition to episode DVDs, a variety of licensed Peppa Pig products are available, play including video games and other toys such as playsets, playing cards, vehicles, and stuffed toys. Merchandise has also been expanded to include household items such as bathroom products, stationery,[10] bed-linens, food, drink, clothing, and jewellery. Licensees include Holland Publishing in the United Kingdom. The show had it's fair share of problematic moments that got certain episodes modified or changed: Peppa and her family did not wear seat belts in the first two series. After receiving several complaints, Astley Baker Davies announced that all future animation would include characters wearing seat belts, and that the relevant scenes in the first two series would be re-animated to include them.[11] Similar changes were also made to early episodes with characters riding bicycles to add cycle helmets, which were not included in the original versions.[12]

In 2012, the Australian Broadcasting Corporation received a complaint that the episode "Mister Skinnylegs" was not appropriate for Australian audiences, since it encouraged befriending spiders. Given the toxicity of some common Australian spiders, notably the Redback Spider, the complaint was upheld and the episode not aired again.[13] Apparently; they tried to broadcast this episode again recently, but the complaint was upheld and it was not aired again. The episode has aired in other countries in reruns though, so the ban was localized. The British Medical Journal carried a light-hearted article in its Christmas 2017 edition, which suggested that although the programme includes numerous "positive public health messages, encouraging healthy eating, exercise, and road safety", it ran the risk of "contributing to unrealistic expectations of primary care" by depicting general practitioner Doctor Brown Bear as making out-of-hours home visits as soon as contacted about apparently trivial illnesses, and dispensing medicines rather too freely.[18] The media company responsible for Peppa Pig offered no comment when contacted about the article by the BBC.[19]

Yeah; that is the story of Peppa Pig in a nutshell. It is a really popular pre-school show in Great Britian and it has made some considerable bank over the last decade. So much so that the show is still pretty much around to this very date and is likely to continue far past 2018 and beyond. (It got a massive spin-off called Peppa Pig Tales which I have been ranting on ever since because of Hasbro's copyright issues plaguing anything done beyond Series Eight.) Peppa Pig and company even appeared in Nintendo DS and Wii games; which continues to prove my point that developers kept making games for both systems just for the hell of it. (Also, Outright Games got the licensing rights to release two additional games for all active video game platforms at the time, including Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 4 and 5, and XBOX One and Series! Those games are good for what they are, although some tried to create a story out of nothing with the Queen's appearance since Queen Elizabeth II died before the second game was released.) Now; the question is: Is Peppa Pig any good? If you believe the parents who care for kids; the answer is "yes, yes, a thousand times yes"! If you believe critics and haters; the answer is a resounding "no, no, it's hell poison no!" After reading all the reviews from TV.com and IMDB carefully; and then watching this show while soaking my feet because YTV Treehouse was on at the time, first with Ryan's newborn Blake and Jennifer's son Nathan, and then watched it alone after seeing Simple Science and London: Okay; I love this show now. (You don't say?! Also to think, Simple Science wasn't even the biggest brainfart Daddy Pig ever did on this show!)

Critics are supposed to have standards; but their standards are too uniform that they apply the standards without understanding what the purpose of the entertainment is. While I disagree with most defenders that pre-school are immune from criticism; most of the people who hate the show are not really criticizing the show and are showing off their moral guardian freak flag; while being dishonest at the same time. (To be fair, almost none of them rise to the level of Monica Cole's moral guardian freak flag. Almost none. John Enter comes very close though.) On the same token; the defenders must realize that no show is immune from criticism, but there is a way to criticize the show, while at the same time, understand the purpose of pre-school shows. Pre-School shows are made to comfront the little ones and get used to being in the real world. They are not suppose to all be educational all the time. Some do this to complete excess, completely spoil the child and make real life education boring. As an educational show; Peppa Pig sort of sucks at it and that's a good thing. However; Peppa Pig is at it's best telling simple stories and does a great job of this all things considered. It has a beginning, a middle and a finish; and it's told well with few logic breaks. Yes; a lot of the characters do stupid things, but it's usually funny and it is made so adults like me could enjoy it. With the children it's funny; but sometimes without them, it's even funnier. While I don't consider Peppa Pig to be the best pre-school show of all time, that honor goes to the Backyardigans. it is on par with Max & Ruby, which is another really good pre-school show and a step below The Magic School Bus the original version (I have not seen the reboot yet by the way and still haven't. Notice how the best pre-school shows are the ones which don't overkill the educational aspect? Magic School Bus is the only one that does and got it over because it also manage to get a great storyline out of it. Kids love stories, like adults do. If you cannot get a good story out of education, then you are better off doing a regular kids show without the E/I rating.).

Since we are doing the official 20th birthday of Peppa Pig, I will be doing additional commentary for the older episodes in the order that they aired and in this case, include the actual pitch for the show which I did in a later rant. The pilot episode is known as Muddy Puddles; but in Canada, the episode order is different from the official British airing order. I should note that the Canadian version is similar to the British version in terms of video and audio; compared to the USA version, where that version took out some of the British and replaced it with American English. (Okay, I found nine episodes on Youtube that were dubbed in American speak as MJF would say. One of those episodes I have seen in full (Mummy Pig's Birthday) and prepare to be disappointed: Outside of a few terms changed and horrible acting, the episodes are more or less the same. The voices themselves are fine, but it sounds like they are reading from a script most of the time and not have much emotion in them. The lack of British accents is sadly part of the show's charm and that nuance is gone in those.) This is one huge example of why American exceptionalism sucks: It's one thing to dub/subtitle a cartoon from another country that doesn't speak English at all. I mean; it would be better if everyone would just learn all the languages in the world so they understand what was said; but nuance is often lost when translated and by the way; even if you learn another language, you still have to translate it to understand what it means in that language. Thus it's never clear cut despite many people attempting to make the best translation possible. That's why localization exists and it's not just "x language to English". This happens with any language translated to another language. What annoys me to no end is that Americans not understanding basic British English or even Canadian English. I'll explain more when we go through a case by case basis on why Americans annoy me with this issue. Here's the "too long, don't care" version: It's still English! They are speaking English! Learn their version of English and stop acting like a smugass bigoted piece of crap! Goddamn it!

(Just to show the bigotry on display and why the bigotry was real; there was a news story about what was called the "Peppa Pig Effect" and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Since 2019, it has been observed that children in the US, where Peppa Pig had become an extremely popular programme, had been acquiring some Anglo-English, rather than American pronunciation and vocabulary. For example, tomato and zebra are pronounced in the English, rather than American way; words such as satnav (instead of GPS), petrol (instead of gas), mummy (instead of mommy) and "biscuit" (instead of "cookie") are used; and comments such as "how clever", "Oh dear", and "can I have a go?" picked up.[52][53][54] This phenomenon was not an issue for many parents; it trended with the hashtag "#PeppaEffect".[52] Linguistics experts find those conclusions to be "likely exaggerated".[55] A written statement by Entertainment One Ltd. when asked of this phenomenon went on saying: "Young Peppa fans see her as a friend… and, as we do with friends that we admire, pick up some of their characteristics... imitation is the sincerest form of flattery."[54]. Again, why is this wrong?! It shows how much the American Dream is almost always a revenge fantasy. Kind of like the bible, actually.) So, let's rant on shall we..?!

Best Friend is written by Alison Snowden. The rest are written by Mark Baker and Neville Astely; whom directs every episode on this DVD set. Alison Snowden according to IMDB: Alison Snowden was born on April 4, 1958 in Arnold, Nottinghamshire, England. She is a writer and actress, known for Bob's Birthday (1994), George and Rosemary (1987) and Second Class Mail (1985). She is married to David Fine. Here's their website: SnowdenFine. Mostly know for various animation shorts, Bob & Margaret and Ricky Sprocket: Showbiz Boy! Alison worked for both the British and Canadian National Film Boards. Most recently; she worked for Shaun Of The Sheep. In Peppa Pig; she also voices Auntie Pig and Polly Parrot. Mark Baker according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): A contemporary of Nick Park at the National Film and Television School in London, Mark Baker now works for Astley Baker Davies. His films, The Hill Farm and Jolly Roger and The Village, were included in the Animation Show of Shows. Through his career, Baker has received Oscar nominations for his works of animated short films. He emerged as an animator in the 1970s. He is known to draw in a childlike style, but the underlying meanings of his work represent a sophisticated world view. His film The Hill Farm (1988) received an Oscar nomination, a BAFTA, the Grand Prix at the Annecy Animation Festival, the praise of the Russian animator Yuri Norstein, and others. Baker completed The Village for Channel 4 in 1993.[4] In 1994, Baker partnered with Neville Astley to create the production company of Astley Baker that was later changed to the name of Astley Baker Davies with the addition of producer Phil Davies.[4] In 2003 he participated in Kihachirō Kawamoto's collaborative project Winter Days.[5] His most popular animation that he is recently known for is Peppa Pig.[6] Mark Baker was born in London in 1959. [7] In his teen years, Baker began to make animated films on 8 mm. Then he continued to study animation at the West Surrey College of Art and Design (now University for the Creative Arts) where he created the short film The Three Knights (1982).[8] He then continued on in his career by animating television commercials for the duration of a year for Richard Purdum Productions. Baker then enrolled in the National Film and Television School where he created his short film The Hill Farm (1988). He graduated in 1989 and then worked as a freelance animator and director for various companies including TVC, Speedy Films, David Anderson Films and Pizazz Pictures.[4] He began his career with Second Class Mail in 1985 as a color artist. Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom and Peppa Pig: My First Cinema Experience is his most recent credits. Neville Astely resume: Living In A Mobile Home is his debut and worked on mostly animation shorts ending with Big Knights and Jolly Roger in 1999.He then was a writer and creator for Peppa Pig and the rest is history. Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom is his most recent credit.

Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies. Phil Davies according to IMDB: Phil Davies has been producing animation since the mid 80s, beginning in 1982 while running the animation unit at Middlesex Polytechnic. Films made in Phil's fledgling DIY animation department included the multi award winning film "Girls Night Out" and the groundbreaking film "Cloths", the department also made many bumpers and stings for the then new music TV station MTV. Since setting up his own production company in the 80s Phil has produced many animated films both short film and series for all the major UK TV companies. He's won 2 BAFTAs, been nominated a further 6 times and films and he's produced have received many honors from around the world. In the 90s Phil regularly produced films for Channel 4's 'Animator In Residence' (AIR) scheme and for many years organized and produced the Channel 4 Television student animation competition. Since 2002 he has been working with the multi-award winning Directors Mark Baker and Neville Astley. Their company is called Astley Baker Davies Ltd and is based in central London. Together they are producing a 52 * 11 minute series called Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom, and a third series of the hit children's animation series, Peppa Pig. At April 2009 Peppa Pig has been sold to over 150 territories around the world winning a BAFTA in 2005, the series also won Best Pre-School Animation prize at the British Animation awards in 2006, won the top TV Crystal award at Annecy, picked up 3 awards at Cartoons on the bay including 2 Pulcinella awards and has been nominated for a further 3 times for children's BAFTAs. Mostly shorts from Deviant! and Toby the Square Boy in 1997 until 2005 with the short You Never Listen before becoming a producer for Peppa Pig and Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom. He also plays the guitar music for two episodes of Peppa Pig and Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom. (Both Mark Baker and Neville Astely have since retired from Peppa Pig since Series Eight and the animation house for new Peppa Pig episodes is now done by Karrot Animation starting in 2023.)

The Peppa Pig Pilot: Oh hell, yes! This is from a demostration event sometime in 2002 showing a pretty barebones pilot of the show. The narrator is mostly the same from 2004 and the opening is basically the pink title in cursive writing against a sky blue background. We head to Peppa being shown on a sunny day looking at the hard camera. Don't expect a lot of animation, since it was a pilot pitch to execs. Peppa waves to the hard camera with the snort that sounds like someone snapped an elastic band on cue. George comes in as they play violin music as the music is basically the first few bars of the opening theme song which is extremely early stage at this point. Snort sounds the same as Peppa's by the way. Mummy Pig comes in as she has a normal pig snort that sounds like Peppa's final snort. Daddy Pig walks in, snorts so loudly, everyone falls down and then they laugh like they did the backsplash laugh, only much slower. The timing of the spots would be much better in the final. Peppa's snorting when laughing sounds a lot better here. So, yeah, the opening sequence in an early fashion state here. Zoom in to Peppa laughing and snorting as we get the title screen logo in early mode again. We have Peppa jumping in muddy puddles, and Mummy Pig stops her because the first rule of muddy puddles applies even in the pitch plan. Peppa apologizes for jumping in muddy puddles without her boots, and most of this is fine. Peppa puts on her yellow boots as Mummy Pig leaves and it's time to do the puddle jumping as George wants in. Peppa jumps out and protests this outrage because of the first rule of puddle jumping. The narrator is calling her either fussy or bossy. Okay, it's bossy. George bails and then returns with his red boots on and it's jumping for joy time, or something. No one gets muddy and no one does the backstroke in the muddy puddle though. We head to Mummy Pig's office with Mummy Pig on her computer as per "Mummy At Work", which I didn't like. Somehow, her computer looks like a giant tower in the background, and the disc drive opens up. Peppa enters and sits in Mummy Pig's lap to play on the computer and somehow only pushes the key to close and open the CD drive. Okay, that was funny, shocked it wasn't used in the final product. (One note before I continue: Despite the characters never aging in this show, the computer models DO progress from big towers to those small boxes by the time Peppa Pig Tales rolled around and Mummy Pig was doing video chats with one of the two mummies of Penny Polar Bear! More on that later.)

Jump cut to a shot of Daddy Pig being Grandpa Pig and digging up his garden with a shovel. Peppa enter with a yellow plastic shovel, jumps into the hole and shows how to do it, by not even coming close to shoveling any dirt out. That was also funny. Next up is inside the sitting room with George and a yellow balloon. George nose butts the balloon forward for a while, and Peppa enters stage left with an orange balloon. Peppa blows off George's nose skills and kicks the balloon so hard that it pops. YOU TROLL~! George rightfully bawls on cue for that one. That wasn't too bossy narrator, that was cruel and rude. (To be fair to Peppa Pig: At least she's not Calliou where Calliou pinched it's younger siblings cheeks hard in the show and bit said sibling in their original pitch plan! That was assault!) George's crying is really unique sounding in this one, although it is an earlier version of the first bawling sound in Muddy Puddles before they went with the shrieking noise in the cry later on. Peppa does make it up somewhat by giving him the orange balloon and apologzing for it. We move on to the entire Pig Family doing the earthquake ritual after Peppa repeats the rule for the third time in this episode alone. The narrator does the "Person loves X, everyone loves X!" before Daddy Pig slips and falls on his ass, because mud is slippery of course. Everyone stops and then everyone does the backsplash laugh as Daddy Pig laughs with them. Zoom into Peppa again as all the mud is gone and we go to the Peppa Pig logo again to end the pilot at 3:30 approx. George is voiced by a different person; but I cannot make it's name out since the video is really blurry. Overall, it is what it is as it was a clip show of scenes for the real show later on. Fanboy & Chum Chum was the much better pilot, but Peppa Pig is the much better show, so ** 1/2 (50%).

Opening Moment #1: Cyan blue screen containing the pink Peppa Pig logo against a sky blue background featuring a child female pig in a red dress and black shoes. So, it's clear she is the star. The music is simple; but cute as she jumps down onto the grassy field with a yellow flower. She introduces herself as Peppa Pig and snorts. Now; a snort is a staple of classic British comedy, so it made sense. However; the gimmick of these gimmicks is that they make animal sounds according to their spieces. (Also of note: Peppa Pig in the first two series will pause for two seconds before introducing George. When Harley Bird and Amelie Bea Smith took over, there is no pause and she instantly reveals George after the snort.) In comes a smaller male pig in a blue shirt as she introduces him as George, who does two quick snorts in rapid fire. Then in comes from the west is a woman adult pig in an orange dress with purple eyeliner and eyelashes as Peppa introduces her as Mummy Pig as she snorts louder than Peppa. In comes Daddy Pig who is as huge as Big Baby Daddy from Urban Wrestling Federation as the ground is shaking when he comes from the east; and when he snorts, he almost blows everyone away. Everyone laughs with him as we return to the logo with the credits below as Peppa introduces herself again and snorts. Yes; they snorted six times in seventeen seconds. (Thankfully, the snorts and spieces noises don't happen nearly as often as the whip crack sound in Johnny Ass...ERRR...I mean Johnny Test.) The artwork looks like a children's drawing, which does make sense for what the show was shooting for. I notice that the pig noses look like two hole buttons and it makes their faces look like hairdryers. (Wow, I wondered where former Prime Minister Boris Johnson got his idea of a "Picasso-like hairdryer" for Peppa's face from?! Boris is fined one pound for this copyright infringement, which will be overturned since he called it "Picasso-like" and therefore his statement is transformative.) This was fine. By the way; Peppa Pig Series 1 was voiced by Lily-Snowden Fine and outside of Peppa Pig as Peppa Pig; she voiced Emily in Barbie: The Princess and the Popstar in 2012. She then moved to Canada and has become a wonderful artist if her CV is any indication. She also did storyboarding for Rugrats in seasons seven through ten. That's about it.

Muddy Puddles: We begin this series with episode #1 on the animation paper as is when the show airs in Canada from YTV Treehouse. (The first two seasons are now available on CBC Gem, and prove that CBC isn't this left-wing shithead that everyone thinks it is nowadays.) There is a house on a grassy hill and it's raining hard. The muddy episode title appears and the gimmick here is that Peppa says the episode title. This is really common in preschool shows and it's for visually impaired audiences, so I'm fine with that. I should note that Peppa Pig sounds different in the early series than she would from Series (Season) 2 onwards, due to changes in voice talents. (Also of note, the earlier series opened up a lot slower in pace compared to later series where they started trying to cram more storyline in. The early episodes allowed the show to breathe to give the viewer a sense of wonder and get comfrontable with the show. Nowadays, there's too much stuff going on. If you are older, this isn't a problem, but with younger kids, the pacing is too fast for them to handle. Crash TV is never a good idea for them, so if you want to introduce Peppa Pig to pre-school kids, it's best that you introduce them to Series one first even if those typically aren't the best episodes. Trust me, the kids will respect the show a lot more if you do that.) Zoom in and we see Peppa Pig and George Pig looking out the window, not happy at all about this. (Well, most adults don't like rain despite being the lifeblood of the planet. Typical adult behaviour.) George is sitting in a toddler's feeding chair for some odd reason as Peppa is sitting in a blue chair. Another gimmick of this show: The narrator; who is the prototype of Captain Obvious about ten years before the Hotels.com one started. The comparisons are almost uncanny here. The Narrator is voiced by John Sparkes and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Sparkes was born in Swansea, Wales. He began his working life at Lloyds Bank in Mumbles. After a time as an English teacher, in the 1980s, he turned to comedy and moved to London, becoming an established performer in the first years of London's alternative cabaret circuit alongside Alexi Sayle, Jo Brand, Paul Merton and Rick Mayall.[1][4] Sparkes starred in the sketch show Naked Video, where he played Siadwel, the geeky poet who wore an anorak and glasses.[5] The character also appeared when Sparkes was part of the BBC Radio 4 comedy programme Bodgers, Banks & Sparkes. After killing off Siadwel in Naked Video, Sparkes revived the character in 2014 for a new series of radio shows for BBC Radio Wales, which was recommissioned a year later. He was one of the team behind the Channel 4 sketch show Absolutely, which ran for four years between 1989 and 1993.[6] Following an award-winning radio special, a new series for BBC Radio 4 was commissioned for broadcast in September 2015.[7]

Barry Welsh is Coming was a long-running comedy series for ITV Wales. As well as playing Barry Welsh, the hapless host of a chat show, Sparkes also plays other characters within the programme, such as pub singer Gwyn, Old Mr Ffff and Fishguard news reporter Hugh Pugh. Although the series ended in 2004, it returned in 2007 for a series of one-off specials. Throughout its original run, the series also won four BAFTA Cymru awards for Best Light Entertainment. He provides the voice of the narrator and some other characters in the children's animated series Peppa Pig[5] (in which the voice of fellow Absolutely star Morwenna Banks is also featured), in Shaun the Sheep he voices Bitzer the Dog and the Farmer. He also voices Mr. Elf and King Marigold in Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom. He also voices Professor von Proton in The Big Knights, Steven in A Town Called Panic, and Fireman Sam in the 2005 series. In 2005 he performed at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in Absolutely Presents John Sparkes and Pete Baikie with his colleague from Absolutely.[8] For Welsh television he starred in Jeff Global's Global Probe (ITV Wales), and he resurrected the character Frank Hovis, originally devised for the Absolutely series, in Pub Quiz (BBC Wales). Sparkes has written and presented three ongoing television series of Great Pubs of Wales for ITV Wales. He has voiced the unseen character of archivist Goronwy, in a section of Wallace and Gromit's World of Invention for BBC One and has written and presented Ghost Story in which he spent the night alone with a camcorder in haunted houses around Wales. He has also co-written and presented Doug Strong's Special Places, a factual comedy series for ITV Wales and ITV Central. He began his career on Naked Video as an actor and writer in 1986 (!!). Peppa Pig: My First Cinematic Experience is his most recent credit. He has 28 Acting credits, 7 Writing credits, 1 Misc credit and 5 Self Credits to his resume. He also voices Mr. Rabbit, Mr Potato and Uncle Pig. (I am not changing the tributes unless they are required due to the changing of the rant order. Also, it's 9:00 am in the house.)

Finally, the rain has stopped and it's sunny outside. Peppa starts the series with the very first snort around 17 seconds in. Peppa asks Daddy Pig if they can go out and play while everyone is at the table having breakfast. Mostly corn cereal by the looks of it on the table along with glasses of orange juice. Daddy Pig basically says "sure" as the kids jump out of their chairs and run out to play. (Daddy Pig laughs and the kids snort on the way out.) Daddy Pig is voiced by Richard Ridings and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Ridings was born in Henley-on-Thames, Oxfordshire. He has had roles in a series of other television series and feature films, among them Clockwise, The Ink Thief, Red Dwarf, Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased), Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Fierce Creatures and as Silas in Highlander: The Series. Ridings voices Daddy Pig in the animated children's series Peppa Pig, Father Christmas and Boss Dwarf in Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom, and Grooby in Q Pootle 5. In 2005, he took the lead role in the BBC Radio 4 sitcom Clement Doesn't Live Here Anymore, playing a sexually obsessed overweight ghost alongside Steve Furst and Amanda Abbington. The second series was transmitted in May, 2007.[2] Ridings has also provided voiceovers in video games, including the voice of Sarge in Quake III, the Mentor in Dungeon Keeper and Dungeon Keeper 2, Mendechaus in War for the Overworld, Roach in Heavenly Sword, General Pig in Puppeteer, and ex-lawman Giles the Farmer in Fable II, on the Xbox 360 video game console. In 2010 he also provided the voice of Pigsy, in the video game Enslaved: Odyssey to the West and of Cornell (the Dark Lord of the Lycanthropes) in Castlevania: Lords of Shadow. In 2011 he provided the voice of the leader of the Machina refugees, Miqol, in Xenoblade Chronicles and in 2013 he provided the voice of the Hunter in DmC: Devil May Cry, the Daemon Lord in Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate and the Green Man in Tearaway.

Most recently, Ridings played a courageous ape named "Buck" in the "Planet of the Apes" prequel, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, which was released in August 2011. Ridings also voices the narrator in the 2015 computer game War for the Overworld, a spiritual successor to the Dungeon Keeper franchise.[3] He began his career in 1983 with Reilly: Ace Of Spies as Vanderberg. Six Wives with Lucy Worsley (King Henry VIII), Highlander: Dark Places (Narrator), Jericho (Thornhill), The Carer (Landlord) and Dickensian (Mr. Bumble) are his most recent credits. He has 127 Acting credits, 1 Soundtrack credit, 1 Misc credit, 3 Self credits and 2 Archive Footage credits to his resume.They run down the hill and we jump cut to a grassy field containing a muddy puddle. (The music they use is a motif curious type of music that I hear very early on in the series and almost never hear in the later series episodes. Another reason to show the old series first because it really sets up the show's main gimmick.) You see; Peppa gimmick and favorite pastime is jumping up and down in muddy puddles. DING! (Thus starting one of the most iconic spots of the entire show and pop culture actually. Heck, this is the spot where I got the "20 Years Of Muddy Puddles" from, which was officially used for the show's tenth birthday! Also of note: The narrator says his line and then Peppa looks directly at the hard camera to say that she loves jumping up and down in muddy puddles, literally as if the narrator was giving her cue. That's a little creepy.) Peppa is jumping up and down; but is stopped by Mummy Pig. Now; does Mummy Pig scold her for jumping in muddy puddles?! Not exactly. She scolds her -- not for doing something that is dirty and stupid -- she scolds her because she's only allowed to jump up and down in muddy puddles if she has her yellow boots on. That's a great mum right there folks. Personally; I love this gimmick, and I don't see why the people who hate this show hate this spot. (I mean, how many times has this show do this spot to get themselves out of tough, rough issues like rigid gender roles. Again, more on that later.)

What's wrong with getting muddy?! (Well, cleaning bills would be at least one remotely good reason, but kids don't care about that.) It sounds like those people who talk about how precious their bodily fluids are and trolls like Thingy, who think children will choose the concrete sidewalk over the dirt, thus showing their naivetive and their lack of understanding irony all at the same time. (I am so sad that troll is gone from Respectful Insolance, at least he was entertaining. Sadly, Greg is still around and kicking somewhere in Canada. Nope, it's not me despite being in the same country, honest! I real Respectful Insolance, not write comments.) This is the kind of spot that exposes Moral Guardians. If you hate this spot; you are a prude. (Or hate spending money like a CEOHole. Either way, bad!) With that said; I do have one concern about this spot and I have some friendly advice for kids and parent from my experience: Mud can be very slippery! I remember walking one time to the store, I didn't see where I was going and my leg slid on a muddy patch and I almost hurt myself. If you are going to jump up and down in muddy puddles; make sure your boots have enough grip and take it easy. It's fun until someone either breaks a bone or suffers back pain due to the body being slid out of alignment. Just be careful out there, okay? By the way; Mummy Pig (American English: Mommy Pig and called as such in the American dub.) is voiced by Tasmin Morweena Banks and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): While studying at Robinson College, Cambridge, Banks first started performing as a member of the Cambridge Footlights. One of her early major television roles was as part of the team on the comedy sketch show Absolutely, broadcast on Channel 4 between 1989 and 1993.[1] Her other television appearances include the BBC series The Thick of It, Ruddy Hell! It's Harry and Paul and the Steve Coogan comedy Saxondale, in which she played receptionist Vicky. She also appeared as Anthea Stonem in the E4 Teen drama Skins and was a cast member on NBC's Saturday Night Live, for four episodes of the show's twentieth season.[2]

She appeared as Carmen Kenaway in the first two episodes of the 9th series of Shameless. Her voice roles include Clare Feeble in Stressed Eric; Mummy Pig in Peppa Pig; Queen Marigold in Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom; the ship's computer in the BBC TV series Hyperdrive; the titular witches in Meg and Mog, an animated children's series for CITV (2003); Ping Pong in Rupert Bear (Channel 5); Guinevere in King Arthur's Disasters (CITV); Betty and Sonia in the 2008 film version of Tales of the Riverbank; a translator at the trial of Adolf Eichmann in The Eichmann Show and The Queen in the 2015 version of Danger Mouse.[3] She wrote, produced and appeared in the British ensemble film The Announcement in 2001. In 2009, Banks made a series of web videos for BBC Comedy called Celebrities STFU, each video featuring her in costume impersonating Lady Gaga, Noel Gallagher, Susan Boyle, Pixie Lott, Jools Holland and Duffy.[4] On 19 October 2013, BBC Radio 4 broadcast Banks' play Goodbye about a woman diagnosed with breast cancer. The play is an account of the path from first diagnosis to death of Lizzie, played by Olivia Colman); it deals with her relationships with her family and with her best friend Jen, played by Natascha McElhone, and their reactions to Jen's illness and death. The cast included Darren Boyd, John Simm, Alison Steadman, Ezra Banks-Baddiel and the voice of Dolly Banks-Baddiel; it was produced by Heather Larmour.[5][6][7][8][9] She subsequently wrote the play's 2015 film adaptation, titled Miss You Already. In 2016, she co-wrote and starred in the comedy series Damned. She co-starred in and wrote (with Rebecca Front) "Shush!" a sitcom set in a library broadcast on BBC Radio Four in 2017. She began her career in 1985 on the Lenny Henry Show. Danger Mouse (Various characters), Mary & The Witch's Flower (Miss Banks), Loaded (Linda) and Peppa Pig: My First Cinema Experience are her most recent credits. She has 93 Acting credits, 12 Writing credits (Damned, Miss You Already, Up To Women, Playhouse Presents, Hello Mum among others), 7 Producer credits (The Abbey, The Announcement among others), 1 Misc credits, 17 Self credits and 1 Archive Footage credit to her resume. She also voiced Madame Gazelle, Mrs. Cat, and Doctor Hamster the Vet. (Madame Gazelle is one of about five adults on the show who have real first names and aren't authority titles. Gigi Gazelle as per her name.)

George Pig is one of the few voices that is voiced by TWO talents: Oliver & Alice May. Alice May also voiced Rebecca Rabbit and voiced Fleur Fairy in Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom. Oliver May also voiced Baby Alexander and voices Oli Elf in Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom. Also voices the toddler in Ashley & Red as his most recent credit. Also did key animation for the Sentry. Peppa takes off her shoes and puts on her yellow boots. Apparently; these boots have magical powers as she giggles and jumps up and down in muddy puddles. Peppa hops away as George jumps up and down in muddy puddles without his boots. (Just like Peppa did before being scolded by Mummy Pig, so Peppa is an enabler.) Snort #3 ensues as Peppa blows him off for not wearing his boots. George's reaction was to look into the hard camera with a blank stare and then kept running stage right. George returns with his red boots as he jumps up and down in the muddy puddle. Both giggle as Peppa wants to find more puddles and so they run and hop and jump into various muddy puddles while giggling. Narrator talks a lot as Peppa finds a small puddle and George has found a big puddle. (Apparently, the narrator says that Peppa likes looking after George, which is somewhat true.) More jumping up and down in muddy puddles as they are hammering this spot to the ground. (Oh, as much as they are jackhammering the point home, they are little kids and cannot help that. Besides, they are setting up the ultra funny spot to come...) They pant as Peppa notices the GIANT MUDDY PUDDLE OF DEATH~! (Peppa almost hiccups when she laughs during this.) George wants to jump in; but Peppa grabs him and sets him away from the mud, because she must check to make sure it's safe. Of course! Peppa hops into the muddy puddle of doom and mud splatters right into George's face. Peppa declares it safe for him and George's gimmick is that he cries a lot. (Also the debut of the "wah wah" sound, which is basically two notes that happen everytime someone does something bad or stupid.) I mean; he is literally raining tears here; and it uses the exact same sound effect every time he cries. (So much so that by the time the Clouds episode in Series Eight rolls around, the characters are literally hyper-referencing the fact that George is crying like he's a shower head.) I'm not kidding; there is no variation to his crying.

It's like they did one take and then copied and pasted the crying into every time George cries. He goes "WAHHHHHHHHHH!" and then shrieks and then cries again. Over and over again. It's quite annoying and lazy. (It's lazy only because the cry itself is a stock voice replayed again and again with no variation. No one cries exactly the same, no one.) Except in this episode; he actually cries with the WAHHHHHHH sound and then repeats it and it sounds racially different from the rest of the series. Peppa informs him that it's only mud and then George giggles in a raspy way. (Peppa wasn't trying to troll George here, I think she wanted to protect his brother from maybe getting injured. She just splashed too much mud on George, and it probably could have happened to anyone on both sides.) George jumps in and splatters mud over Peppa and she only giggles with George. (Basically the story is that only the toddlers cry, while the four year olds and adults don't. It's not very healthy, although overuse is not much better as we see with the early episodes of the series.) To be fair; saying a male cry is refreshing from all the tough guy males we see in entertainment, so this was a win. (Also to be fair, the only time it becomes annoying is when someone cries to get it's own way. Ironically, in this show, most of the time, George cries because he's scared, or something dies, or Peppa Pig trolls him. Only twice has George done the "get his way" spot and only once did he succeed and it was for an object that was in lots of supply and the adults would have given him another one even if he didn't bawl. I have seen this criticism in reviews and it's a bad one in my view. Peppa's trolling is far more problematic than George's crying since a lot of the crying is a reaction to Peppa's cruel trolling antics.) Snort #4, #5, and #6 ensue during this and then they jump up and down in muddy puddles until their entire bodies are covered in mud. Like this is American football style mud covering; only they are just jumping up and down in muddy puddles. That's some awesome jumping from the two pigs there. They also do the gimmick where they flop onto their back and laugh out loud. (This is the official debut of what I call the backsplash laugh. Strangely, Peppa Pig Tales doesn't do this spot nearly as often as the mainline series. It's not one of those spots that can be rendered unfunny by overuse.) This would be normally the end to about 90% of the episodes of Peppa Pig; and it's so absurd.

Opening theme song plays as the two pigs are literally doing the back stroke in the muddy puddle. They are so muddy that the edge of their eyes are down neon green. (Wow, this is the money shot spot of the episode because these kids are way into this gimmick and it's awesome. I'm going to guess BS&P told them that they could do it once to get it out of their system because I have never seen them ever do it again despite all the times they did the jumping in muddy puddle spots.) Peppa and George finally stop and run into the house to show Daddy Pig; tracking mud all over the house's floor. They head into the kitchen as Daddy Pig snorts and is shocked and somewhat appalled by this as Peppa dares Daddy Pig to guess what they were doing. (I'm more offended by them daring Daddy Pig to guess than making a mess on the floor because it requires the show to Cartoon Duck Syndrome the episode which lasts less than five minutes tops.) This requires Daddy Pig to be deep in thought. Now; I know some people out there will say that Daddy Pig is being stupid here, but I know that they are trying to pad the running time, because the episode is about four minutes long and we still got about a minute left in the episode. Daddy asks if they were watching television and Peppa says no. (I didn't know television sets sprayed mud on naughty little piggies. Daddy Pig must like You Can't Do That On Television is a documentary. Then again, the gimmick is that he brainfarts like someone who is dumb. Also, has a big tummy. More on that one later.) Sadly; it's not the gimmick where they say it in a condenscending way, more on that in future episode rants. Daddy asks if they took a bath and the kid pigs giggle like crazy because Daddy Pig is clearly getting warmer; although not in the way Daddy Pig thinks. Peppa says no-no; so Daddy guesses right the third time. Peppa and George jump up and down in glee as Daddy calls them a mess and it was this point where Peppa and George notice, despite the fact that they wanted to show Daddy Pig how messy they were. HAHA! (Hey, the kids outsmarted themselves there, because they are fools.) Daddy proclaims that it's only mud and brings out a dry sponge. (Okay, that was dumb although I blame the art style since it cannot tell wet from dry at least.)

He tries to wipe George's nose off with it; because the gimmick is that Daddy Pig is dumb when it comes to cleaning off little children who jump up and down in muddy puddles. Although he actually does clean off George's nose and face here; so he's pretty compentent in this scene. Don't worry; there will be lots of stupid moments with Daddy Pig, I assure ye. Including my favorite brainfart of all time. Peppa asks if Mummy and Daddy want to play with them and Daddy says yes to playing in the garden. Scene change to outside on the hill with the yellow house on top. Zoom in towards the left side door as it opens and out comes the entire Pig family as Peppa is already giggling with glee as everyone walks out wearing their boots. Mummy Pig is wearing blue boots while Daddy Pig is wearing green boots. (In other words, Daddy Pig's talk about cleaning up before Mummy Pig sees the mess earlier is a moot point. Daddy Pig is dumb.) Now; if you cannot call the final spot right now, you have no business watching this show. Yes; everyone jumps up and down in muddy puddles as the narrator's gimmick at the end is as follows: "Person loves to do this. Everyone loves to do this." Oh; and remember that "best brainfart of all time" that I mentioned earlier?! It was paid off by the funiest narrator ending of all time in a pre-school show. (Simple Science, everyone. It also helps when the narrator starts acting like an actor instead of reading his lines like he does here.) Everyone laughs as they jump and down in muddy puddles and the ground shakes like there is an earthquake happening. I didn't know four pigs are enough to cause earthquakes in this world. (This is the official debut of what I call the earthquake ritual, as a side effect of adults jumping in muddy puddles.) Then Daddy Pig slips and falls on his ass in the mud and everyone is shocked and appalled. Wow; I didn't even consider the writers booking what I had warned of earlier in the episode. Good for them! Daddy Pig should have heeded my warning; but he didn't! Because he is dumb. Mummy Pig mocks him, Daddy Pig teases being offended; but laughs it off and everyone does what I have now dubbed the "Backsplash Laugh" spot to end the episode at 4:30. The acting was off for the most part as it's clear they were getting their feet wet for this production; but it was inoffensive and cute, so... (How could you give this ** 1/2?! The backstroke in the puddle made this an easy *** (60%)!) The ending theme was Peppa Pig singing her own theme song to the credits and there were seven snorts in eleven seconds. 13 snorts in about 28 seconds total. I'm surprised that there were less than that in the entire episode. (Nah, I think there were the same amount of snorts in the actual episode, just had a lot more time made it seem less so.)

Mr. Dinosaur is Lost: This is episode #2 on the animation paper with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM as I should note that the episode title is dark green with no period in "Mr.". Zoom into the window heading into the living room with George on the floor playing with a green toy dinosaur. (This is one of the episodes I found which was dubbed for Tickle U's block! Sadly, it's roughly missing about forty seconds of footage from the beginning, including the opening. So, I cannot tell you if they changed the title card to add the period that the original left out.) The gimmick of George is that he loves dinosaurs and can only speak this word throughout the series. This is lame because it's a similar gimmick to Max in Max & Ruby (a Canadian pre-school show), but Max at least says a different word for each episode. Max is much cooler than George, mostly due to the Superbunny angle. (The reboot of Max & Ruby had him talking in complete sentences, that actually made me mad because they killed off his gimmick. George sort of now does the Max gimmick, only his gimmick is pronouncing words incorrectly which Peppa does, but George does it all the time, while Peppa doesn't mispronounce people's names.) Peppa, Daddy and Mummy Pig are watching television featuring two anthro potatoes and on the top of the television (or in Britian, it's called the "Tele") there is a goldfish in a filled goldfish bowl. The potatoes are in fact animated, and look like they are doing jumping jacks; which actually makes sense in a future episode featuring these spuds. (In Britian, they are called Star Jumps, which I love as a name.) George says dinosaur for the first time and giggles. There's a lot of giggling in this show, which sometimes is amusing and sometimes is annoying. The green dinosaur's name is Mr. Dinosaur as per the title; and George says his second word: Grrrr. So George so far has the five words of doom: Dinosaur, GRRRRR, WAH, HEE and HA. Oh wait; I forgot "snort". So, it's really six at this point. (Also, George pronounces it in the mainline series as "Dine-saur" and for some reason in Peppa Pig Tales as "Dine-e-saur"!) Jump cut to outside with Peppa and George on the field as George grrs with the dinosaur at Peppa and Peppa does the most unconvincing sell of being scared and running away. I realize that these are children, but come on!

George chases Peppa and they both giggle; then we jump cut to the family in the kitchen, at the kitchen table having dinner. I'm guessing it's plates of pasta because there are steel forks present and two glasses of orange juice. (This begins a tradition where the family would eat spaghetti with no sauce on it. Even the two mummies did the same thing in Familes! Even funnier, Peppa Pig Tales FIXED this spot so it had sauce on it, making me want to see the animation team for that series do the mainline series! We'll see how Karrot Animation handles these scenes in future.) George is in his toddler kitchen seat slurping pasta with Mr. Dinosaur and George burps and belches. Okay. Mummy is begging his pardon and asks who did that and George of course lies, claiming that it was Mr. Dinosaur with the rude manners. Compared to Peppa Pig; George is merely dishonest in his rudeness. Peppa Pig can come off like a troll sometimes in this series. Of course; George burps again and is everyone laughs at him. Fart jokes are so transparent sometimes. Jump cut to George in a filled bath tub growling with Mr. Dinosaur while Mummy Pig sponge baths him, on-screen no less. (This is the point where the video for the Tickle U version starts and the narrator is more bored than the original narrator!) Jump cut to inside the bedroom AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Peppa and George share the bedroom and are in bunk beds. Take one guess who is on bottom in this deal. I shouldn't be surprised, since Peppa Pig is the star of this show. I should note that George's bed covers are pea soup green with white dinosaurs on it. There was three snorts within five seconds. Mummy Pig says good night and turns off the light. George goes to sleep and then we jump cut to George dragging Mr. Dinosaur by the tail while walking on a grassy field stage left. George stops near a tree as the narrator tells us that George's favorite game is throwing Mr. Dinosaur high into the air. Take one guess how he "loses" Mr. Dinosaur. Weee is word number seven for George. George Carlin had a famous sketch of the seven words you cannot say on American television. Well; this George has seven words he can only say on the tele, so to speak. (Sorry, this gimmick is going to die as this show continues. He is the new Max, so to speak.) He does this about four times.

Jump cut to the living room as Mummy Pig is on a purple love seat reading a book while Daddy Pig and Peppa are playing checkers on the purple couch. I should note that in Britian, checkers is called "draughts". So, this proves that I'm watching the original version of this show, which is a good thing. (Yeah, Tickle U's version is clearly called checkers.) Peppa basically sqaushes Daddy Pig despite being four black on one white advantage Daddy Pig. Daddy Pig just shrugs and states well done to her while she is rubbing it in. Finally we hear the infamous crying squeal sound effect that they copy and paste into every crying spot George will do in this series. I mentioned this in the first episode as George runs in; but George is in a panic. He's not literally raining tears from his eyes here. Then he stops and then he literally rains tears. (George's cry in Tickle U sounds like someone literally growling. Peter Griffin's cry that sounds like he's laughing in Family Guy is much more believable than this.) Mummy Pig asks what's the matter and it's clear that Mr. Dinosaur is lost. Now; anyone with an IQ of eight could figure out where it was; because the last thing George did before we went to the jump cut was to toss the toy high into the air near a tree. However; to be fair, the rest of the family never saw what happened outside and thanks to the jump cut, no one saw what happened either, even if we have a lead to where it might be. So; it's understandable to waste two to three minutes looking into places and playing detective, because no one saw where George lost the dinosaur, not even the audience. (The older kids and above would have an idea; but the younger kids probably do not.) Daddy Pig offers to play detective and Peppa Pig is confused. (She pronounces detective slowly and Tickle U's was a little faster but more or less the same.) Daddy Pig explains, slowly -- and considering the audience, understandable -- what a detective is. I question the very important part; but it's otherwise a sound definition. Since Peppa is the star of the show; she gets to play dectective here. (Because this is her show and everyone is a geek. The theme of the entire brand actually.) George is frowning and sadly; it's only a 0.1 Rock Lobster Yeti frown as he is clearly not buying this. Mummy tells Peppa to ask simple questions. (This is not going to end well for George.) Of course; Peppa asks George where Mr. Dinosaur is, like a bad cop. What a troll?! George rightfully cries on cue. You were supposed to ask him where he was before he lost Mr. Dinosaur. Of course; if she did, then the episode would end too quickly. (Yup. When Peppa trolls Daddy Pig or even Mummy Pig, at least she's punching up. This is punching down on someone who is younger and probably not in a great place right now. Bad idea!)

Daddy suggests a guessing game; because we have to waste time and make Daddy Pig look like a dummy in the process. Peppa claims that she knows while giggling, snorting and walking up the stairs. The rest of the family all teleport into the bathroom and of course, Mr. Dinosaur is not in the bathtub. Which in Britian is called "a bath". (Tickle U has it as the bathtub obviously. Bathtub is a better term here since "bath" is also something someone does, not just an object.) Peppa then thinks she's knows and they all either run into or teleport into the bedroom in his bed at night. Of course; Mr. Dinosaur is not tucked in the covers in George's bed. George's frowny face is getting to me for some reason as Peppa is confused. Mummy Pig decides they should check out the garden and Peppa claims that she would have said that, too. Jump cut to outside on the house on the hill as the Pig family opens the door and walks down the hill. Peppa is skipping and somehow; despite the doorway still being wide open; the door closing sound is still used. That was an odd logic break. Peppa heads to the tree; which is the exact spot where we saw Mr. Dinosaur last, and Peppa is looking at the ground. Peppa claims that Mr. Dinosaur is too hard to find and isn't anywhere. (TickleU literally has Peppa doing a sighing sound instead of "Oh".) Surprisely; George does not cry on cue as Daddy Pig -- who is almost the height of the tree mind you -- finally notices Mr. Dinosaur stuck in the tree and remembers that George loves to toss the toy into the air, and he threw it slightly too high, thus it got caught in a tree. That all made sense, even though I pretty much figured it out because they did the jump cut in order to create suspense that it might have been not there; but it didn't work. Peppa; the troll that she is, claims that she saw it first and snorted. Riiiiggggggghhhhttttt. Daddy Pig simply plays along despite him doing the actual detective work, and Mummy Pig suggesting the location. I'm just saying, defenders of this show. (The TickleU version has Daddy Pig saying "Good job, Peppa!" instead of "Well done, Peppa!". Weird, since Daddy Pig said "well done" in both versions during the checkers match earlier in the episode! George also appears to pronounce Mr. Dinosaur's name properly in the TickleU version!) Daddy Pig brings Mr. Dinosaur down to George and George growls and loves it. George then tosses it up in the air and it lands in the tree, AGAIN! George teases crying; but doesn't have the energy to do it as Daddy Pig brings the toy down for him, telling him to not play near the tree this time. Everyone laughs and snorts as George flops on his back saying "dinosaur" and snorts a few times to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was perfectly fine, although Peppa's troll routine has begun in earnest and it's the least endearing character trait Peppa has. ** 3/4 (55%). (General Difference between TickleU and the original: A lot of the lines are timed differently despite being the exact same lines. The TickleU acting is not good and it shows. George's iconic "Grrr" sounds mangled at the end in the American dub. Also, the ending is sang and there's no snorting present! The Playgroup is the next TickleU episode dub in existence on Youtube and I shudder to think if they change Danny Dog's "brilliant" line...)

Best Friend: This is episode #3 on the animation paper and we begin with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM as Peppa is looking out the window on the zoom in shot. The narrator tells us that Peppa is waiting for her best friend, which is Suzy Sheep. Suzy Sheep is voiced by Meg Hall in this season and has only two other productions besides this show: Strawberry Shortcake as Niamh and Doc McStuffins as Doc. Despite not seeing her coming; the doorbell rings and Peppa answers it. It's Suzy Sheep; a sheep anthro wearing a pink dress and black shoes. (Good thing they zoomed in completely before the door bell rang, or that would have exposed the business.) Her head looks like a sideways egg by the way. Since Suzy is a lamb, she goes "Naahh" instead of snorting, since the show's gimmick is that they make noises based on their animal spieces. (Suzy Sheep's gimmick is that she is Peppa's friend who trolls, takes everything seriously and not getting sarcasm. She also has a fetish for seeing trees get chopped down as we'll see in Series Four!) Suzy is bouncing and greeting Peppa as she comes in. Peppa and Suzy bounce up and down in stereo as George comes in as Suzy and Peppa do the hug of doom; holds hands and blow stereo raspberry with glorified shots of their tongues. Then they do the backsplash laugh in stereo as George is confused. (I am too, that is one hell of a secret handshake there.) He probably wants them to get on with the plot as Mummy Pig enters and tells the best friends to go upstairs and play in Peppa's bedroom. Suzy and Peppa comply and run upstairs and George is confused and then frowns because he wants to play with them, you see. Jump cut to Peppa and Suzy running into the bedroom. They find a conveniently placed wooden basket of toys and throw out stuff like a Wuzzle while giggling. Suzy has found a bouncy spotted ball while Peppa has found a jewel encrusted crown. Okay; I'm embellishing here. We pan to the door with George as there is a jester's cap on the floor and George puts the cap on; because he clearly has no shame in playing a literal fool in this episode. Peppa has fairy wings on her back and the crown on her head as she casually walks in; steals the jester's cap off of George's head and blows him off because he is a little boy. Sexism aside; what a troll?! (Oh, just wait until you see Mr. Labodour in Funfair, 2018 me; then you'll be eating those words.)

She throws the jester cap into the basket for good measure and brings out a star wand; and the blue middle is a circle to prevent the star from turning into a pentacle. (Good thing SquareEnix isn't working on this brand, their Ethics Department would have changed it into just a sphere.) Peppa is bouncing on the floor and snorting, which somehow causes the floor to shake. Geez; I still can't get over the fact that pigs cause earthquakes on this show. Peppa dances around giggling and snorting as she cosplays threatening to turn Suzy into a frog with her magic wand, effectively becoming a heel fairy. (That sounds wrong for some reason 2018 me!) Suzy squeals and bails while Peppa chases her; as George frowns and hates playing on his own.What a bummer, eh?! (Suzy's selling of being scary is actually better than Peppa's!) Suzy and Peppa do the backsplash laugh for the second time in two minutes. They appear to be sleepy; as George grabs the spotted ball which was conveniently placed on the floor and this causes Peppa and Suzy to instantly get up and blow him off for it. What a bunch of trolls Suzy and Peppa are?! They won't even let him take the spotted ball and bounce it outside. Yes; Peppa orders George to go somewhere else and steals the ball away from him. Forget her being rude; she is also mean. Narrator sums this all up and I betcha George bawls like crazy over this. I check the DVD...Wow; he looks disappointed and Mummy Pig actually calls for George because Mummy Pig is baking chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen and needs help in licking the dough out of the bowl. Okay; I realize that this was in 2004; and eating the dough out of the bowl and spoons is a big thing, and yes; I do it too. However; it's 2017, and e.coli is more of a big deal now considering how easy it is to get into flour nowadays; so this kind of spot is kind of a bad idea since the risk is much greater now than it used it be. I would not be booking this spot with pre-schoolers because unintentional food poisoning is at best, not fun and at worst, deadly. Again; just be careful out there. (Okay, I have mellowed out on this spot because good cleaning habits can help reduce the chances of food poisoning and they are anthros, so 2017 me overreacted here. Although I think they have retired this spot in Series Five onwards. The feeding the ducks spot later on in this series is much more of a problem.) George licks out of the bowl; but it doesn't help him get over the fact that Peppa and Suzy don't like to play with him, because reasons!

Speaking of the trolls; Suzy and Peppa bring out a nurse's cap and a doctor's bag containing a Green Cross on it; since the Red Cross is a trademarked symbol. Suzy "nahhs" as she puts on the nurse's cap and proclaims herself to be a nurse; while Peppa has the stethoscope on and is carrying the doctor's bag as she proclaims herself to be a doctor. Okay, fine; although George being a nurse would be so much funnier to watch than him (Spoiler Alert!) being the patient. I should note that the cap apparently grants her superpowers to wear the white nurse's scrubs. That amused me. (I changed "dress" to "scrubs" since the later term is much more accurate with the job position, despite the two kids cosplaying the roles.) Now; they need a "sick person" to play with; and now they call George to come upstairs. Such trolls these two are. Of course; George loves this and goes upstairs, because he's a fool. George has now teleported to in his bunk bed on the bottom bunk, so I do question his health and well being as of right now. We play doctor for a while complete with the usual doctor spots. Apparently; George's heart is a bit loose and Peppa puts a band-aid on it; which in Britian is called a plaster. HAHA! (Now this episode is picking up steam...) Suzy takes George's temperture with the thermometer and claims that George is very, very hot. I'm extremely skeptical of this since pig anthros are supposed to be 101.6-104*F in body temperture, which is at least three to six degrees hotter than a human. Suzy claims that George has to stay in bed until he's almost five years old. Now, that is a special kind of BS that only trolls would pull off. George don't care and giggles as Daddy Pig walks into the bedroom. (Yes, I said that on purpose because I love trolling fools.) Daddy Pig decides to play along asking what is wrong with George. Peppa is puffing up the pillow and claims that Daddy Pig can stay for a little while; but cautions that the patient might get tired. George might get tired of Peppa's trolling at some point; but right now, he don't care. (Why did 2018 me give this episode a thumbs down?!) Mummy Pig comes in with a plate of cookies and everyone shouts "cookies"; but the females are screwed because Mummy baked the cookies for George. Because you see; only George helped her with the cookies, even if it was just to lick out the bowl; which in 2017, is the most dangerous thing to do. (Not anymore, but there you go.)

I just love how Mummy calls these cookies, medicine. I call quackery on this; but George don't care. Cookies are yummy and at least they are less risky than uncooked cookie dough. (Fair enough, despite your overreaction there 2018 me.) Mummy puts the plate on the bed sheets as George eats a cookie; while Suzy and Peppa look concerned. Daddy Pig then claims that he has a sore tummy and wants Doctor Peppa -- which is just daring for trademark infringement at this point -- to check his tummy. (Doctor Pepper soda, everyone.) Despite the stethoscope being lightly touched on Daddy's big belly; Daddy sells it as if he is being tickled. His tummy also makes water sloushing noises like my belly and I'm smaller than Daddy Pig as Peppa giggles. He sounds hungry as Daddy proclaims that he needs lots of cookies to make him feel better and just takes one cookie like that. Giggling ensues as everyone now takes a cookie and snorts and nahhs. Well; Peppa doesn't snort actually. They bite into cookies and this causes shaking as they laugh and giggle to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Nothing but a bunch of trolling and silly pre-school stuff. (Are you ribbing me, 2018 me?! Okay, the episode started off slow and plodding, but everything after George went downstairs to lick the cookie dough bowl was glorious! This would be the sort of stuff that you wished came back in Series 5 onwards when BS&P stepped in and toned down the show to the point where Peppa is literally saying "please and thank you" while Granny Pig reads a newspaper saying that kids these days are rude! I'm not ribbing you, but that's a ways away. This is **** (80%), and the first thumbs up episode of the series bar none!)

Polly Parrot: Next up is episode #4 on the animation paper as the episode opens at a white house with purple roof and door with four trees on a hill. There is four daisies in front of the house as the Pig Family arrives northwest in their red car and it stops and brakes on the steepest side of the hill. Yes; not on the top of the hill; the steep side of the hill, increasing the chances that the car will go down the hill. Get use to this; they do this in many episodes of this series and it always amuses me. (They have done this less and less as time goes on, but it's still hilarious.) The Pig Family gets out of the car as the door opens and out comes Grandpa and Grandma Pig. Outside of white facial hair, a purple shirt and pink dress; they are more or less the same as Mummy and Daddy Pig. Grandpa Pig is voiced by Brian Blessed here and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): One of Blessed's earliest roles was that of PC "Fancy" Smith in the BBC television series Z-Cars, between 1962 and 1965.[8] In 1966, he appeared in a production of Incident at Vichy at the Phoenix Theatre in London. In 1967, he played Porthos in a 10-part BBC adaptation of The Three Musketeers.[9] Blessed also had minor roles in cult TV series such as The Avengers (1967, 1969) and the original Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased) (1969). He appeared as William Woodcock in the Yorkshire Television series Boy Dominic (1974). He played Caesar Augustus in the BBC Two drama series I, Claudius (1976)[10] and Basileos in The Aphrodite Inheritance (1979).[11] He hosted a docudrama on the life of Johann Sebastian Bach called The Joy of Bach (1978), in which he also played Bach in a number of scenes. He played Long John Silver in the 10-part serial Return to Treasure Island (1986), King Yrcanos in the Doctor Who serial Mindwarp (1986), General Yevlenko in the mini-series War and Remembrance (1988), and Lord Loxley, the father of Robin Hood, in the Hollywood film Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991). On stage, he starred in Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical, Cats, as both Old Deuteronomy and Bustopher Jones, for the original 1981 West End theatre production. Blessed has appeared in a number of Shakespearean roles on both stage and screen, including four of the five Shakespeare films directed by Kenneth Branagh: as the Duke of Exeter in Henry V (1989), Antonio in Much Ado About Nothing (1993), the Ghost of Hamlet's Father in Hamlet (1996), and both Duke Frederick and Duke Senior in As You Like It (2006).

Other roles have emphasised Blessed's comedic abilities. In particular, Prince Vultan in the film Flash Gordon (1980), for which he is remembered for the exclamations "Gordon's alive!"[12] and "DIVE!"; the mad, comical figure of Richard IV in the first series of The Black Adder (1983), a role Blessed has claimed to be one of his most cherished; and Spiro in the BBC adaptation of My Family and Other Animals (1987).[13] Blessed has joked that he was due to appear in Blackadder II (1986) as Elizabeth I, but was unavailable for filming.[14] In 1997, Blessed portrayed Squire Western in the BBC adaptation of Henry Fielding's 1749 comic novel Tom Jones. He later recalled accidentally punching Peter Capaldi whilst filming and said of the event, "I thought I'd killed the poor bastard."[15] In 1999, Blessed provided both the voice and live-action reference for the blustery CGI character Boss Nass in Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace, and also provided the voice of the villainous hunter Clayton in Disney's animated feature film Tarzan, a role he later reprised in the video game based on the film and in the critically acclaimed Kingdom Hearts in 2002. He voiced "Sir Morris" in the 1999 cartoon series The Big Knights. He read the story "The White City" for the album series Late Night Tales, recording it in four parts released over four albums,[16] and was also the voice of Jean Valjean in Focus on the Family Radio Theatre's audio adaptation of Victor Hugo's Les Misérables. Blessed was one of the narrators for Story Teller, a children's magazine partwork series in the 1980s. He has further provided vocal links for the Sony-Award-winning Christian O'Connell Breakfast Show on Virgin Radio, and introduced advertisements for Orange mobile phones. In 2002, under the direction of Royal Shakespeare Company director Adrian Noble, he originated the role of Baron Bomburst for the stage musical version of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. From December 2005 to January 2006, Blessed headlined the Christmas pantomime production of Peter Pan, alongside CBBC presenter Kirsten O'Brien, at Ipswich's Regent Theatre.

From 2007 to 2008, he appeared in the same play as Captain Hook at the Grove Theatre in Dunstable; he reprised the role for the Christmas 2008 season at the Fairfield Halls, Croydon. For Christmas 2006, he presented a production of Cinderella for Virgin Radio, starring David Tennant, Thandie Newton and others. Since October 2008, Blessed has presented the English-language dub of the Japanese TV game show Unbeatable Banzuke on Challenge, under the pseudonym "Banzuke Brian". He was the narrator of the Sky 1 series Crash Test Dummies, starring Steve Marsh and Dan Wright. In animation, he has provided the voices of Bob in Kika & Bob (2008)[17] and Grampy Rabbit in Peppa Pig (2004–present). Following a successful Facebook campaign, satellite navigation manufacturer TomTom recorded Blessed's voice for use in its products; he has been available as a voice command option since October 2010.[18] In September 2010, Blessed recorded the voice of Great Sultan Shahryār for Sheherazade, or The Princess, the Pirate and the Baboon!, an album of children's stories set to Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov's classical music composition Scheherazade, co-starring Rory Bremner and released as an instalment of Grandma Dingley's Ingeniously Musical Tales in 2011.[19] In 2017, Blessed voices famous German military engineer Lord Konrad Kyeser in the upcoming open-world medieval RPG, Kingdom Come: Deliverance.[20] Blessed was a keen boxer in his youth and claims to have sparred with the Dalai Lama.[21] He has attempted to climb Mount Everest three times without supplemental oxygen,[22] reaching heights of 28,200 feet (8,600 m) in 1993 and 25,200 feet (7,700 m) in 1996, but without reaching the summit.[23] He holds a 3rd dan in Judo.[24] He has reached the tops of Mount Aconcagua in Argentina and Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania.[citation needed] He is the oldest man to go to the North Magnetic Pole on foot,[25] and has undertaken an expedition into the jungles of Venezuela, during which he survived a plane crash. Blessed has completed 800 hours of space training at Star City in Russia.[12]

Blessed served as President of the Television and Radio Industries Club (TRIC) from 2007 to 2008 and presented the 2008 TRIC Awards at Grosvenor House, London. He has honorary degrees from the University of Bradford (awarded July 2003) and Sheffield Hallam University (awarded 2004) and has also been awarded the honorary title of "Official Shoutsperson" by the University of York's Douglas Adams Society.[26] In 2011, the student union voted to name a new study area the "Brian Blessed Centre for Quiet Study".[27] The same year, Blessed was nominated for the post of Chancellor of the University of Cambridge, following a campaign by graduates.[28] In 2004, Blessed appeared on Celebrity Stars in Their Eyes, impersonating the opera singer Luciano Pavarotti. Known for his football knowledge, he appeared as an expert and commentator on the satellite channel UKTV G2 during the 2006 World Cup. Blessed also appeared on A Question of Sport in 2006 and 2011, and was a guest host on the BBC's satirical quiz show Have I Got News for You in May 2008 and April 2013 (also making a surprise appearance in the 2008 Christmas special). In Blessed's first appearance on the programme, his exaggerated comic style resulted in a quick departure from the usual format, leading team captain Paul Merton to quip, "Does anyone remember how this show used to be like?" Other guest appearances include the talk shows Loose Women (2006) and The Paul O'Grady Show (2008). In 2009, Blessed featured in the song "Army of the Damned" from the album Beneath the Veiled Embrace by British power metal band Pythia, reciting the poem "Suicide in the Trenches" by Siegfried Sassoon.[29] Blessed also appeared on their 2014 album "Shadows of a Broken Past". He had previously contributed to the song "The Joust" by Christian band Eden Burning in 1994.[30] Blessed also speaks in the Living Legend history presentation in Jersey alongside other celebrities such as Samantha Janus, Roger Lloyd Pack, Tony Robinson, and Kevin Whately. Downloadable content for the computer game War of the Roses featured narration by Blessed.[31]

In 2013, he received the Spirit of Hammer Award at the Metal Hammer magazine's Golden Gods Awards.[32] On 14 August 2014, Blessed was the subject of an episode of the BBC documentary series Who Do You Think You Are?, tracing the lives of his ancestors.[6] He began his career on Saturday Playhouse with Last Day In Dreamland in 1959. Robin Hood The Rebellion (Friar Tuck), Dark Ascension II: The Journey To Hell (Guardian Paul), Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Lord Konrad Kyeser), and Banking on Mr. Toad (Frederick James Furnivall) as his most recent credits. He has 170 Acting credits, 2 Soundtrack credits, 1 Director credit, 1 Art Department credit, 1 Second Unit Director credit, 1 Misc credit, 119 Self credits, and 19 Archive Footage credits to his resume. Grandma Pig is voiced by Frances White and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): An English actress, perhaps best known for her roles as Kate Hamilton in Crossroads and as Miss Flood in the BBC sitcom May to December. A graduate of the Central School of Speech and Drama her TV appearances have included Juliet Bravo; Trevor's World of Sport; Dangerfield; Holby City; A Very Peculiar Practice; as Cassandra, prophetess of Troy, in the Doctor Who story The Myth Makers; as Julia, daughter of Augustus, Emperor of Rome, in I, Claudius; and as Queen Charlotte, wife of George III, in Prince Regent. Her film credits include roles in The Pumpkin Eater (1964), Press for Time (1966) and Mary, Queen of Scots (1971). She plays Granny Pig on the children's animated series Peppa Pig. Frances White continues to act and do voice overs. She began her career with Deadline Midnight (Anna Condrini), Probation Officer and Winning Windows in cameos in 1961. Peppa Pig as Granny Pig is her most recent credit. She has 79 Acting credits, 1 Misc credit and 2 Self credit to her resume. Peppa is so excited to see them and calls them by name; but George does the same thing and forgets to say the "P" in pig, so it comes of as "ig". Even funnier; I think he said Mama and Papa "Ig" here. That made me laugh. (George addresses them as "Ganny Ig" and "Papa Ig". It was funny for a while; but he never corrected himself during the series when he probably should have.) Granny Pig welcomes them to the house and has a big surprise for them.

Peppa and George are in awe as Granny has a new pet and dares them to guess what it is. Of course; the suspense is dead because they already pointed out that it is a parrot at the beginning of this Peppasode. (Yes, her DVD sets literally called the episodes "Peppasodes". You couldn't make her look like a bossy star and bury everyone further, show?!) George of course, thinks it's a dinosaur. (It's a troll move because George keeps going back to it later on.) Grandpa Pig says no and everyone goes in to see it. Jump cut to a perch where a green parrot with blue mowak and red tailfeathers is perched in against a green background. We zoom out to discover that they are in the living room and one of the painting has a banjo image in it. Granny Pig introduces Polly and does a snort. (This would be the third character with an actual first name instead of a title.) Polly is voiced by Alison Snowden as the gimmick of this parrot is that it literally repeats everything the person says at the parrot. (I'm sorry, but you are not topping Ignatz from Polly Wants A Treasure in TaleSpin. That would require literally changing into an actual character, you see.) I know this because the pigs are cutting promos on the parrot and the parrots squawks the promo right back at them. Apparently; if the parrot's back is turned, it ignores Peppa and George's giggling. Also; if the person's back is turned and talks to someone else, the parrot doesn't counter nor when Mummy and Daddy Pig talk to Peppa and not to Polly. (The logic of this gimmick is not good is what 2018 me is saying here.) We get more promo cutting, this time from Mummy Pig and everyone laughs. Despite Peppa and George staring straight at Polly; Polly doesn't sell. So they killed the gimmick. The adults walk into the kitchen for tea time while the kids look at the parrot; and then Granny Pig calls them in for chocolate cake and they giggle. They bounce out stage left and then we jump cut to the kitchen table as everyone has tea table. The adults have tea, while Peppa and George have lemonade and their mouths are smeared with chocolate cake. Apparently; this chocolate cake has round colored candies on them, reminds me of my Christmas cakes. (Even funnier, Daddy Pig doesn't have chocolate cake despite admitting that he loves it later on in the series. I find that a bit odd in hindsight.) They eat and drink way too fast because as the narrator points out; they want to play with Polly Parrot. Granny Pig asks if they finished their cake, and the kids all lick the chocolate stuff off their faces and this is enough for Granny to tell them that they can take their leave and see Polly. (Uh-oh! This is not going to end well for Granny Pig. Polly on the other talon...) Peppa and George bounce out of the kitchen and go see Polly in the living room.

They stop right in front of the parrort and George is pushed forward by Peppa; like a cowardly heel, in spite of the fact that there are no heels on this show. (Except for the human pirate, and he's barely one himself. I guess these creators found out how ineffective Swiper is and decided not to risk it. A good decision in my view.) George bails behind Peppa as the narrator claims that George is shy. It serves Peppa right, though. Using Geroge as a shield because she's more indecisive than me. Geroge simply pushes Peppa forward and Peppa greets Polly for real to break the ice.Polly greets them back and the kids all do the backsplash laugh for fun. Polly laughs in kind but cannot do the backsplash laugh, sadly. We get move cutting promos and counter promos along with giggling. Yes; Polly can repeat the snorting and this is the first time George does a legit pig snort and not the rapid fire snorts he normally does in this show. Polly counters and we do the backsplash laugh again and then the kids dance around Polly, laughing and frailing their arms in a disorganized fashion. The narrator claims that they are pretending to be birds; but I don't buy that for one second. (It won't be the last time the kids cosplay animals, I assure ye!) I think Peppa snorts three times in two seconds here. George does it in three seconds as they are mocking the poor bird. Then they get up and Peppa starts thinking. Uh-oh; this is trouble. Peppa claims that Polly is a noisy parrot; thus showing her projection in one sentence. An ultra loud snort ensues, so they snorted about eight times in a span of ten seconds. Laughing and backsplash laugh ensues as the adults finally come in and Granny Pig looks exceptionally clueless in this whole ordeal. (Polly still cannot do the backsplash laugh...) Peppa and George don't even pretend that they have screwed with poor Polly's mind. Granny Pig then cuts the promo about being a clever parrot, Polly basically turns on her and claims to be a noisy parrot complete with loud snort. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love it when the writers admit that the gimmick was already killed and they stopped caring about it. Polly repeats the promo again with snort as everyone is shocked and appalled; including Peppa and George, for some reason. Granny Pig almost is about to swear and tease scolding the kids for screwing up Polly; but they have a hearty laugh instead; so I can see where Daddy Pig and Mummy Pig get their parent traits from. Everyone laughs on cue and does the backsplash laugh for fun as Polly is so confused as he turns in various directions on his perch and then he does the backsplash laugh in kind. See, Polly learned and paid off it's own inability! Character development, you see. Polly laughs like he choked on something and that ends the episode at 4:30 approx. This was annoying mostly due to the logic of the gimmick being totally screwed up; but that finish and ending was funny, so... (This was another slow episode that got funnier and funnier once Peppa and George started to mindscrew Polly into actually doing the backsplash laugh! Bonus points for the Puppet In the Box music sequence, too! The logic at the beginning killed the gimmick, though, so... *** 1/2 (70%).)

Hide & Seek: Next up is episode #5 on the animation paper and we begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM and zoom into the window of the living room as Daddy is reading the newspaper on the loveseat and Mummy is reading a cyan covered book on the sofa. (Also, the television has been written out by teleport! How about that for a logic break?!) George and Peppa are giggling for no reason that I can think of until the narrator explains to me that they are playing hide and seek. Okay. Peppa closes his eyes as George looks shady because it's George's turn to hide. Peppa starts counting as George hides underneath a table containing a large glass of water and various flowers; literally thirty feet away and all Peppa has to do is turn around 180 degrees to see him. George is clearly not good at this hiding thing, methinks. Peppa counts to ten, does the "ready or not, here I come" promo, turns 180 degrees and milks the unveiling for an additional three seconds by walking towards the table. I don't know why she bothered to walk over, she clearly saw George before this. Now you can argue that pigs are colorblind and all; but these are anthros and don't have to be all colorblind and all. Plus; it wouldn't matter here. Peppa tags George's nose to find him and then blows him off for being too easy to find. George don't care because he clearly did this on purpose so he could count and force Peppa to hide because he's already closed his eyes and is counting badly while Peppa stands there confused. Mummy Pig comes in and has to help George count because he can barely count to three, which is still better than Ole Anderson. George closes his eyes and Mummy Pig is counting. Peppa skips out of the living room and goes upstairs as Daddy notices all of this. Peppa runs into the bedroom and throws out all the toys like a Wuzzle before jumping into the basket. Not flipping the basket upside down and then hiding inside; but being in the basket where we can clearly see her. I guess BS&P thought that the other way would have kids dying of suffication due to lack of air. All right, then. Mummy Pig counts to ten and tells George to open his eyes. Georges snorts and looks in the exact same hiding spot HE uses, and there's no one there. "Oh!" is his eleventh word in this series by the way as he keeps looking there. That amused me as Daddy suggests looking upstairs; which makes him look like a cheater. George skips out and heads upstairs as there is a massive amount of toys scattered everywhere and where does George look first? Under the bed. HAHA! Peppa pops from the basket and snorts with George's back is turned, like the troll that she is. The narrator asks what this is strange noise; as if he never has heard this snort before. George tugs on the window curtains; no dice.

Peppa mocks George again by snorting twice; and despite clearly showing Peppa's ears in the basket, George is still confused and apparently, so is the narrator. Peppa then gives herself away with giggling and George finally finds her in the basket. Peppa pops up and clicks her tongue to make a raspberry sound. George tags Peppa's nose and they giggle and laugh. The kids run down the steps and into the living room as Peppa declares that it's DADDY's turn to hide; and even Daddy Pig in his own way, thinks this is BS; so it's George's turn again. Wait; so Mummy Pig isn't getting a turn? That's parentist! Anyhow; Peppa complains about George's inability to hide good, and Daddy Pig insists that he'll do better this time, telling Peppa to close her eyes. Peppa starts counting and George runs and hides...in the exact same hiding spot as before. HAHA! Peppa is halfway through her count as Daddy whisper yells to George to come over here and George comes over to Daddy Pig. Jump cut to Peppa finishing her count. If you cannot guess where George is hiding, you have no business reading this rant. Peppa finishes counting, does her promo, then goes to the table and is shocked because George is not underneath the table this time. Peppa is in denial because George always hides underneath the table. Daddy suggests upstairs and Peppa proclaims that she knows where he is and she leaves the living room and goes upstairs. This is great misdirection by Daddy Pig because Peppa thinks he is in the toy basket. She checks the toy basket and he is not there. Peppa slowly goes down the steps with a 0.2 Rock Lobster Yeti frowning face and despite TWO looks, she cannot find George anywhere. HA! Peppa is in the living room as she admits that she sucks at this game now. Mummy and Daddy Pig look at each other, and Daddy Pig wonders where he could be, when suddenly, Daddy's newspaper begins to move and there is a kid giggling behind it. Hmmm; I wonder where George could be?! Daddy claims that there is something about George in this newspaper. Oh, come on, now! This is clearly a dead giveaway. Peppa has that look of "what?" on her face as George pops up from the newspaper and does a raspberry on Peppa! HAHA! Peppa and George laugh as Peppa tags George's nose and that is that. Mummy proclaims that this was a great place to hide as everyone laughs as we zoom into George giggling and laughing as the narrator proclaims that George was hiding in the newspaper all this time to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was pretty fun for the most part and that finish was a funny one despite being so plain obvious. *** 1/4 (65%).

The Playgroup: Next up is episode #6 on the animation paper and we begin this one on the boring road stage west with Daddy Pig driving Peppa and George in the sunshine. I'm guessing this is Britian answer to "Daycare"; although "Playgroup" works fine in this situation. George has brought Mr. Dinesaur as the narrator explains why Daddy Pig is driving Peppa and George. It's George's debut in the Playgroup as Peppa is questionning this because George is still younger than everyone in said play group.George don't care as he's growling and liking his toy dinosaur. Daddy assures that this is fine; but Peppa wants to play with the big kids instead of just keeping George company. (TickleU changed the line from "Play with the big children" to "Play with the bigger kids".) The narrator assumes that this is trouble because Peppa is a troll. (The narrator in TickleU says "Oh my," instead of "Oh dear,") We head onto a hill containing a white church like school complete with bell tower and bell ringing. Once again; the car parks in the steepest part of the hill. Everyone jumps out as George is handling Mr. Dinesaur by it's tail. Peppa continues to be skeptical about George's presence, buy Daddy Pig insists that this will all be fine. We get three snorts in three seconds as Peppa decides to let this happen as the door is now open and the kids enter the school, while Daddy gets back in his car and drives down the hill as the car has in fact turned in the opposite direction by itself. The car struggles to turn over; but it does turn over. Jump cut to inside the Playgroup; which is basically a one room school, just like in Ducktales 1987. (Even funnier when TaleSpin, which takes place in the 1930's, is a regular 1980's style school!) We see five kids in this group: a female white rabbit in a aqua blue dress, a male pony anthro wearing glasses with tanned skin wearing a yellow shirt, a black male dog anthro wearing a purple shirt, a female anthro orange cat wearing a emerald green dress and Suzy Sheep that I mentioned in Best Friend. In the middle is an adult woman gazelle anthro wearing a dark purple dress and cyan blue eyeliner. The adult gazelle is Madame Gazelle, who is voiced by the same voice who does Mummy Pig by the way, who has a French accent. I mention this because the narrator mentions her by name. (Another major change: Madame Gazelle is addressed as Mrs. Gazelle in the TickleU version even though she is French in storyline!)

We meet and greet after the kids in the school giggle and do their animal sound gimmick. All the kids giggle and do their animal sounds as Suzy Sheep comes forward with the rabbit girl and cat girl as Suzy taps George's nose and wishes she had a little brother like George. I should mention this even though it's not important for this episode: It's implied that Suzy's mother is single -- like with Rebecca and Molly Cunningham in TaleSpin -- and she's an only child. So, her reaction to this made sense with the character. (Suzy Sheep's family wasn't developed on outside of Mummy Sheep until Charlotte Sheep came along long after the show was rebooted in Series Five and then they changed the dynmanic to account for Granny Sheep's debut as a three generational family unit. Ironically, this was sort of similar to Danny Dog's family unit with Granddad Dog at this point.) The male dog comes in and introduces himself as Danny Dog; who father is a sea captain in storyline. Danny Dog Series one is voiced by George Woolford and Peppa Pig is this voice talent's only appearance. (Danny Dog's gimmick is that he loves sailing, pirates and is the plucky little guy who cannot win. He's also the dumb one when Pedro Pony isn't available.) Danny loves the dinosaur and calls it brilliant -- a classic catchphrase of the British I should note -- as George shows it off. (Tickle U kept this line, but Danny Dog's voice sounds like an adult's voice and makes me yearn for Peppa Pig Tales' version of said voice. Gigi's is not much better: She's trying to do the accent and it's too subtle to be any good.) The female kids sell the dinesaur in the most unconvincing screaming ever to inform all of us that they are in on the spot. Madame Gazelle's selling of the dinosaur growling was even worse than the girls as Danny Dog is enjoying himself. (Gigi Gazelle is the school teacher who was a rock star for a band called the Rocking Gazelles, as the guitar player. She is accused of being an actual vampire or maybe a long lost Juralian alien, though that is speculation on my part.) Peppa hugs George as she calls him brilliant and Madame Gazelle claps her hands in the middle of nowhere. (TickleU changed the line to "He's excellent!" That kills the whole gag, especially when you allowed Danny Dog to say the word. That's sexist!)

I should mention the other characters since they did giggle here: The rabbit's name is Rebecca (DING!) who the series one voice is Hazel Rudd who outside of this show as an uncredited director of Strawberry Shortcake: Let's Dance in 2007 according to IMDB. Her mother is Miss Rabbit; and dear god, do I have a story to tell about her or what!! (Miss Rabbit's gimmick is legendary as she does multiple jobs and her family is massive and litters more than Ma Beagle ever did. Rebecca Rabbit's gimmick is that she jumps very high. That's it. She and Candy Cat do not have much of a personality compared to Suzy Sheep, Danny Dog and of course...) She is the best part of this whole damn show and sometimes can be the most mindblowing thing on this show. (Grampy "Reggie" Rabbit: Am I a joke to you?! Answer: Yes. Reggie: Oh, that's all right then!) The cat's name is Candy Cat who is voiced by Daisy Rudd in series one and Peppa Pig is her only appearance. I already mentioned Suzy Sheep; but the pony's name is Pedro Pony who is voiced by Harrison Oldroyd in series one, which again Peppa Pig is his only appearance. Pedro Pony; I can best describe as having the three most unfortunate stereotypes rolled into one: He's Latino, he's absent minded and he likes to be a cowboy. (Pedro's gimmick is that he loves to sleep, is clueless, and is an ugly cowboy dressing music thief! More on that in Series Four! There's a reason why I call him Pedro F'N Pony everytime I see him. Thankfully, none of his family does console wars, so they are not Sony Ponies.) Everyone runs and sits down at three tables with paper and painting stuff, because it's time to paint in this playgroup. Basically; this painting is done to show George how to paint and Peppa claims that George is no good at painting. Gazelle asks Peppa to help him as Peppa is cocky because she claims to be a good painter. I'll believe it when I see it, Peppa. Peppa is going to teach George how to paint a flower and we get her painting shapes with various colored paints. I'm guessing that they are water based paints; although the artwork makes it look like oil-based paint. Peppa blows off George for painting a green circle rather than a purple circle. Oh, just let him paint his dinesaur in peace, Peppa! He's a far more interesting painter than you are right now. (Also, George painted a bigger circle than Peppa, so he takes orders well. Peppa never said it was supposed to be purple, so Peppa, that's your fault!)

Peppa paints yellow petals and George paints blue marks on the side of the circle's head; causing Peppa to scold him. Peppa paints green stalks and leaves and calls it perfect. (TickleU has it as the stem. I guess "stalk" is problematic in America as in stalker, so stem is fine.) George has painted the black eyes; finishing up his painting of a dinosaur. HA! Peppa blows him off, claiming that he did it all wrong. Oh, sod off Peppa and like it! You are just jealous that George can paint better than you. (TESTIFY~! Look, Peppa is not a bad painter, but she's a bad teacher.) George is worried about this as the kids and Gazelle all come in to see the paintings George and Peppa did. They show off the paintings and George grrs with his dinosaur as Danny calls it brilliant. Gazelle is so impressed by this that both Peppa and George's paintings should go on the wall. (TickleU puralizes "picture" by the way, which is fine.) Nah; I'm not going to do that joke in this show! (Toilet Golf, Jay Leno; everyone.) The paintings are masking taped onto the wall as the other kids cheer. Madame Gazelle wonders if Peppa is proud of George and Peppa of course claims that she is, even though this is after she was browbeating him for not painting a flower earlier. Peppa pats George on the head and in comes Mummy Cat, Mummy Sheep, Daddy Pig and Granddad Dog to pick up the kids because it's officially home time. (Yes, I made a mistake confusing Captain Dog with Granddad Dog in the original rant, so it has been changed to reflect that. I'm going to keep the tribute of Captain Dog here since I don't want to transfer it to a Series Four episode. One other note: Tickle U rewrote the line for Home Time and changed it to "It's time to go home!" I don't get how the former is wrong since it's the same thing only with less words.) Strangely; we don't see Miss Rabbit nor Daddy Pony (nor Mummy Rabbit to cover up another mistake, although understandable given that both of them look like indentical twins. Nor even Mummy Pony who does appear in Pedro The Cowboy. Probably the best episode in Pedro Pony's career actually.) Mummy Cat is voiced by the same voice who voices Mummy Pig in series 1 and 2.

Mummy Sheep is voiced by Debbie McDonald and Peppa Pig was her debut. Debbie also is the Fairy Mum and an exec for Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom. She worked on Strawberry Shortcake: Let's Dance in many roles; including the UK voice of Raspberry Torte in 2007. Her most recent credit is as a writer for Brewster The Rooster. Other credits include: Buzzy Bee & Friends (Debbie), Tickety Toc (exec producer), Mr. Benn, Humf, and Poppy Cat (all as exec producer). That's about it. Captain Dog is voiced by Alexander Armstrong and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): After graduating in 1992, Armstrong moved to London with some friends to pursue a career in acting and comedy. While waiting for acting roles, he worked in a string of North London bars and restaurants and was eventually introduced to Ben Miller, who had also moved to London, through Jez Butterworth.[7] In 1996, Armstrong and Miller performed at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe and were nominated for the Perrier Award. Armstrong and Miller co-starred in four series of Armstrong and Miller from 1997 to 2001, while also performing sketches in The Sunday Format. The duo decided to take a break and split for several years to forge their own solo careers.[6] Armstrong renewed his partnership with Miller for the award-winning The Armstrong and Miller Show in 2007.[citation needed] Armstrong appeared on the BBC Radio 4's The Very World of Milton Jones, broadcast between 1998 and 2001, and between early 2000 and early 2001, starred as a misanthropic, animal-hating vet in the BBC One sitcom Beast and he has also been the star of a series of TV commercials for Pimm's. In 1999, Armstrong starred as Prince Charming in ITV's Christmas pantomime with Miller, Samantha Janus, Paul Merton, Harry Hill, Frank Skinner and Ronnie Corbett. Armstrong narrated the animated cartoon series The Big Knights, which first appeared on the BBC1 over the Christmas Season of 1999–2000. On BBC Radio 4, Armstrong played John Weak in the office sitcom Weak at the Top.

He also played Martin Baine-Jones for the Times Online's "Timeghost" podcast. Between September and November 2010, Armstrong took The Armstrong and Miller Show on tour in the UK, completing 62 dates. This was only the second time The Armstrong and Miller Show had gone out on the road, the first tour being in autumn 2001. The Armstrong and Miller hardback book was released in October 2010.[citation needed] On 1 September 2006, Armstrong was chairman of the short-lived Channel 4 panel show Best of the Worst which featured team captains David Mitchell and Johnny Vaughan. Armstrong presented the short-lived ITV1 quiz series Don't Call Me Stupid, in which mismatched celebrities taught each other a subject they are passionate about, before facing a studio quiz on their new topic. He has been a frequent guest host on the BBC's satirical panel game Have I Got News for You, having appeared 30 times with his most recent appearance as host being on 6 October 2017. Armstrong has, to date, made the most appearances of any guest, whether as host or panellist. Armstrong says that in 2003 he was offered the job of replacing Angus Deayton as full-time host of Have I Got News for You but the BBC later changed their minds and withdrew the offer after deciding to continue with the guest presenter format instead.[11] In 2008, he was the presenter and narrator for When Were We Funniest? and was the only person to feature in all twelve episodes. Armstrong was a leading contender to take over as host of Countdown when Des O'Connor left in 2008, although when he hosted Have I Got News for You on 24 October 2008, he said that he hadn't yet accepted the job, despite team captains Ian Hislop and Paul Merton making jokes about his "new role".[12] Armstrong declined the job, telling The Independent that he didn't want to be "pigeonholed" as a presenter, preferring to focus on acting and comedy.[13] Armstrong has been the presenter of the BBC One game show Pointless with former university friend Richard Osman since it began in 2009.[1]

He also presented a documentary, Alexander Armstrong's Very British Holiday, for the BBC on 8 November 2009 about the history of the "great British summer holiday" and his attempts to explore its modern version. On 30 May 2011, Armstrong hosted the pilot for a new panel show, Alexander Armstrong's Big Ask for Dave with Dave Lamb, Katy Brand, Griff Rhys Jones and Robert Webb. After a positive response to the pilot, Dave commissioned the first series which first aired on 6 February 2012. In July 2011, Armstrong became a co-presenter on BBC One's The Great British Weather. In August 2011, he began presenting a game show on BBC One called Epic Win.[14] On 27 October 2013, Armstrong co-hosted ITV series Prize Island with Emma Willis.[15] On 3 January 2015, Armstrong and Rochelle Humes co-hosted entertainment special Frank Sinatra: Our Way on BBC One.[16] On 17 September 2014, it was announced that Armstrong would succeed David Jason as the voice of Danger Mouse in the 2015 revival of the 1980s animated series. Armstrong has done other voiceover work, including Mr Wolf and Policeman Stag in Peppa Pig and he is the narrator of Hey Duggee. On 1 June 2015, Armstrong presented a documentary, Rome's Invisible City, which used 3D scanning technology to discover the underground spaces below the city.[17] Subsequently, it was announced that Armstrong would be making a three-part series exploring the lost and hidden sites of Florence, Naples, and Venice.[18] In 2015, Armstrong presented a three-part factual series for ITV, called Land of the Midnight Sun, in which he travelled half-way round the Arctic Circle meeting its inhabitants and exploring their ways of life.[19] In January 2016, he guest presented Bruce's Hall of Fame on BBC One. In 2017, he presented Don't Ask Me Ask Britain and Teach My Pet To Do That, both on ITV. After over a decade in television and comedy, Armstrong returned to his musical roots and put together his own cover band,[20] which plays a wide range of music from jazz to rock to pop classics.

A classically trained bass baritone,[8] he is the vocalist and is backed up by Harry the Piano on keyboards,[21] Simon Bates on woodwind, Jeff Lardner on drums and Dave Swift on bass.[22] The band's first tour ran from 19 September to 6 November 2013. Until he started his band, Armstrong mainly sang at his local parish church services or at weddings, away from the public eye.[23] Armstrong impersonated Susan Boyle's Britain's Got Talent rendition of "I Dreamed a Dream" in the show Your Face Sounds Familiar and surprised the judges by singing in falsetto.[24] He sang "Winter Wonderland" during the celebrities Christmas special of Pointless and "No Rhyme for Richard" from Blondel in BBC Two's Tim Rice: A Life in Song[25] and collaborated with The Sixteen to record the single "Good King Wenceslas" to raise funds for the charity Crisis.[26] Since September 2014, Armstrong has presented the Saturday afternoon programme on the classical radio station Classic FM.[27][28] He now also presents the Sunday lunchtime programme. On 9 May 2015 Armstrong participated in VE Day 70: A Party to Remember, a televised commemorative concert from Horse Guards Parade in London, where he sang "We Must All Stick Together" by Ralph Butler and Raymond Wallace, and "London Pride".[29] He sang in Songs of Praise: The Big Sing, broadcast on 20 September 2015, a special programme from the Royal Albert Hall to commemorate Queen Elizabeth II becoming the world's longest-serving monarch. Armstrong sang I Would Be True.[30] On 6 November 2015, Armstrong brought out his debut solo vocal album, A Year of Songs, on Warner Music Group's East West Records label. It reached number 6 on the UK Albums Chart in its first week and topped the UK Classical Charts, the first time a comedian/actor has reached number 1 in that chart.[31] In January and February 2016 he carried out a 9-date UK tour with his band.[32] In June 2016 he began recording his second album, Upon a Different Shore, scheduled for release on 28 October.[33] It reached number 8 on the UK Albums Chart. In 1997, Armstrong and Miller provided the voices for lead characters for the PC game 'Wings of Destiny', published by Psygnosis in 2000, as British airmen and Nazi officers covering the two comic-book plots in the game.

From 2002–09, Armstrong appeared in a series of successful British television adverts for the drink Pimms.[47] With Miller, he has formed a production company called Toff Media.[48] In 2002, Armstrong provided the voice for the character Horse in the English dub of the series A Town Called Panic. The 100 Most Pointless Things in the World was published in the UK by Coronet, an imprint of Hodder & Stoughton, in October 2012. Also in 2012, Armstrong is the voice of Professor M for the animation breaks for the McLaren F1 team with the animations called Tooned also featuring the voices of Lewis Hamilton and Jenson Button broadcast on Sky Sports F1. In 2013, Armstrong and Miller appeared in the television advertising campaign for Spitfire Ale.[49] He began his career in 1994 as Tim in There's No Business and Captain Henry Sandy in Screen One. He also plays Mr. Wolf in Peppa Pig by the way. Hey Duggee (Narrator), Drunk History: UK (Sir Arthur Harris) and Danger Mouse (Danger Mouse, Sinister Mouse, Derek Mullard) are his most recent credits. He has 66 Acting credits, 1 Writing credit (The Armstrong/Miller Show), 2 Producer credits (Comedy Showcase), 3 Soundtrack credits, 79 Self credits, and 4 Archive Footage credits to his resume. So much for a short rant here. Peppa asks if George can come back to playgroup; and we all know the answer is yes. Madame Gazelle will even allow George to paint another picture and asks what he'll paint next. (TickleU changed "lovely picture" to "pretty picture".) George of course says he'll paint another dinesaur (Yes, the mispelling is intentional, since it's part of George's gimmick.) as Gazelle offers George to show everyone how to paint a dinesaur as Peppa and Danny calls this brilliant. (Peppa says "excellent" in the TickleU version, AGAIN!) George says his 12th word of the show which is "brilliant" and everyone laughs with him. (With Pedro Pony and Mummy Pony showing their chomper like teeth, I don't think they allowed him to do that again in later episodes. Also, TickleU's sexism killed the payoff to the entire gag. Okay, this is why you don't Americanize British shows then. Thankfully, Cartoon Network losts the rights and Nick got them, deciding to just let the show be itself, which was a much better decision in the long run, despite the show's own flaws.) Somehow; Mummy Rabbit and Mummy Pony arrive out of nowhere, which is one of the few times I have been someone written in by teleport. (I changed Miss Rabbit for Mummy Rabbit since Mummy Rabbit is the mother of Rebecca, not Miss Rabbit.) Miss Rabbit is voiced by Sarah Ann Kennedy as mentioned before. Mummy Pony series one is voiced by Kate Gribble. Other than Peppa Pig; I have zero information on her. Sadly; none of them do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Apparently; the age limit in this playgroup is very flexible, since George is supposed to be eighteen months old in storyline. Otherwise; this was a fine episode. ** 1/2 (50%).

Mummy Pig At Work (Mommy At Work as per The Tickle U dub): This is episode #7 on the animation paper and we begin this episode with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM as we zoom into an upstairs' room which appears to be Mummy Pig's office. Mummy Pig is typing on her computer and she has the worst typing skills I have ever seen, and even my typing skills suck, so I speak from experience. She seems to stink eye the monitor after doing the typing before resuming typing. (Okay, this angle is a long term storyline that wasn't paid off until Series Five: Mummy Pig is a work at home mother who writes children's books for a living. She was well ahead of the curve when it comes to the concept of working from home about sixteen years before COVID-19!) Jump cut to Daddy Pig making vegetable stew by chopping onions and potatoes as in comes Peppa and George out of nowhere. They ask if they can watch Mummy Pig on her computer and Daddy Pig tells them "yes" as long as they don't annoy her. This is a fool's errand. Peppa and George thank Daddy and run upstairs. Jump cut to a closeup of the monitor as Mummy Pig is clearly writing in either gibberish, or some type of encryption code that I am not aware of. I would love to hear BS&P explain to me why she's writing this way; because it would be a riot to hear and I mean that in the nicest possible way. George and Peppa run in and ask if they can sit in her lap; and Mummy says "yes" as long as they sit quietly. This is worse than a fool's errand at this point. Peppa and George sit on Mummy's lap; which shows that Mummy is pretty huge in her own right. Mummy one types on the computer and she does a much better job typing in that code as Peppa wants to play a computer game. The computer game is called Happy Mrs. Chicken and the gimmick of this game is you push the key over and over again and it lays eggs until the computer crashes basically. This is just asking for trouble and Mummy Pig should say "no". Mummy Pig says "maybe later" as George snorts twice quickly. Peppa Pig is now banging keys on the keyboard as Mummy is protesting this; and I don't blame her. This is the sort of thing that annoys me.

At least wait until Mummy says "all right" and then have Peppa bang the keys like an idiot. (Sadly, the key that opens the CD container from the pitch didn't make it here. I don't know why, that would have at least taken the edge off of this stupidity.) Mummy orders Peppa and George to not touch the computer; and like a troll, Peppa repeats the line to George. I was hoping Mummy would repeat the line at Peppa; but instead, Peppa bangs the keyboard AGAIN! Oh for PEPPA SAKES, PEPPA~! STOP IT! She's murdering the computer! If Blake tried to do this; I would be telling Blake to get out of the room right now and I'll take my chances with him bawling when he is taken from the room. You have to draw the line somewhere, and this is the most obvious spot to draw it from. Of course, the white arrow on the computer moves by itself and then the RAINBOW SCREEN OF DEATH shows up. Peppa crashed the computer and I hope Mummy Pig has been saving her documents before typing. I can now see why critics hate this show: What Peppa did was horrible here. Mummy Pig calls for Daddy Pig from the kitchen and Daddy comes upstairs, without his knife of course. By the way; in Britian they call repairing the computer, "mending the computer"; which does make me chuckle. (The American dub changed it to "fix the computer". Mend has been used as an American word before, although it's more used to say: "I'm on the mend.".) Daddy Pig is so honest in saying that he sucks in mending computers; but Mummy Pig takes it as a yes and she goes downstairs to fix up lunch. And the voice of Daddy Pig was in a hilariously shameful manner. Daddy Pig pushes a key and nothing happens. Daddy Pig decides to switch it off and then on again. He does that and suddenly; the computer works beautifully now. Problem is; Mummy Pig's document is now gone if she didn't save it earlier. Peppa and George are so happy and after Daddy Pig claimed that he wasn't good at it; he does his gimmicked catchphrase that he is a bit of an expert on such things. That was funny. (It's funny because most of the time, this actually works! I can speak from experience, and this makes it harder to figure out what the problem is because the bug is impossible to replicate. Sadly, Daddy Pig says this promo like everytime in situations where he probably shouldn't say them because he is actually dumb.)

Daddy Pig sits down with George and Peppa as the kids want to play Happy Mrs. Chicken; but Daddy Pig doesn't know where the disc is. George bails and returns with the CD with a yellow chicken on the front. Daddy Pig takes out the disc and puts it in the CD player. The game starts like a really wacky screen saver featuring the yellow chicken squawking and spinning against a white Star Of David. Or a six pointed white star. (This is the sort of shovelware that is better off being a digital copy from a digital store than on a large space CD. Furthermore, only the Wii and DS games of this show have the mini-game, and those games are only available in Europe. The recent global games do not have that game, so someone got pissed. Also, they couldn't use the four pointed star from the wands in Best Friend?! This is like the Starburst spell from Chrono Trigger, only white!) George pushes keys and the yellow chicken pops up, farts and lays an egg. Peppa pushes a key and the chicken lays another egg with a fart. (Not to mention that the music is the opening theme in chiptune!) Rinse, lather, repeat as the kids and manchild giggle out loud. Meanwhile; Mummy Pig is fixing lunch and is generally confused at this giggling. Mummy Pig teleports into the office and sees Daddy Pig has already done the backsplash laugh off-screen with the kids on his big belly. Mummy Pig at first is uninpressed by this; but then notices the computer is working and has completely forgotten to at least yell at Peppa Pig as the eggs on the screen hatch and the yellow chickens all pop out of the eggs. Mummy Pig does the backsplash laugh as the chickens dance in the dumbest manner possible and lay more eggs. More laughing from the pigs as the eggs all fill the screen and that ends the episode at 4:30 approx. Mummy Pig lost her document due to Peppa Pig being irresponsible; and neither one cares. This was not good. * 1/2 (30%). (One final note: All the opening sequences are redubbed differently: In this episode, Peppa says "And this is my brother George!" despite using the British "This is my brother George!" in the other episodes even in the TickleU dub! Also the ED's have Peppa snorting in this one, but using a different laughing sequence! That's worse than this episode by the way.)

Piggy In The Middle: We continue on with episode #8 on the animation paper, beginning with the house on the hill with a zoom in shot of the western side of the hill. (Yup, this would be the first episode in the animation paper order that I referred to the residence as "The house on the hill". This proved to be hilarious in hindsight because of what the residence's address of this show is in canon! However, we don't hear the address until "Stamps", so it is going to be a long road to haul. Also, that last sentence is a shoot on Grandpa Pig in that very same episode!) George comes out with the spotted bouncy white ball and throws it high into the air; and he cannot catch the ball. The ball bounces down the hill as George runs down the hill giggling and like his crying, the giggling sounds like a stock sound effect. George gets to the ball on the bottom of the hill and is throwing it; but the ball keeps landing behind him. At one point; he threw the point high into the air and it bounced off his head, causing him to no sell it and giggle as he does the backsplash laugh. Peppa then walks in and proclaims that George is doing it all wrong. To be fair; having the ball bounce off your head is not a good idea, but the rest?! Sod off, you troll! George gets up and is like "what?" as Peppa shows the proper way to catch a ball and then completely mocks George's way in a way that would make Donald Trump say "hold my beer". With a lot of snorting I might add. (Also, involves the nose getting nailed, so Peppa is either safer with the ball, or BS&P is sexist. George doesn't bounce the ball off his nose, come on Peppa!) Peppa is rude and I don't mean "Ricky Rude". Apparently; calling someone cheeky is codeword for someone who is rude. Okay; good to know, Mr. Narrator. (TickleU changed this to "What a naughty little pig Peppa is?! Which is funny because naughty is used in Britian as well by Peppa Pig of all people.) George then steals the ball and runs away stage left with the ball over his head. Peppa protests this and chases after him; and steals the ball back from behind. George runs for a while without ball and then realizes that he is screwed. George runs back to get the ball; but Peppa plays "keep away" for a while and wins easily. Peppa laughs in George's face and even the narrator thinks Peppa is being a nasty troll now.

Mummy Pig thankfully walks in and steals the ball away from Peppa and Peppa lies about teasing George. She also lies about teaching him how to catch the ball; and this lie fools Mummy Pig. Mummy Pig suggests playing a game called "Piggy In The Middle"; which is basically "catch the ball, but making sure your partner catches it and not the "Piggy In The Middle" who is Mummy Pig in this set up. (In North America, it's called "Keep Away". Strangely, TickleU kept the original version. Still better than "Monkey In the Middle" in Eastern Canada.) Peppa stand to the right of Mummy Pig while George stands to the left; Peppa is already taunting Mummy Pig for being in the middle. Mummy Pig should have pointed out that she was lying right there about teasing George; but she didn't. Peppa throws the ball over Mummy Pig and Mummy Pig pretends to miss catching it despite being in position to catch it easily and George catches the ball. Just like that! We have about three minutes left in the episode by the way which shows that the writers have no clue how to build a story. George shouldn't have caught the ball on the first attempt of this game because if he didn't, then you build it up and keep going. It's perfect for wasting time and the payoff is that George finally catches the ball at the end of the story. Also; it's more believable since George is still learning at this point. If he catches it on the first try; then you paid off the story way too soon and now you have to waste three minutes making Peppa look like an uncaring bully who teases George. That's stupid and puts a negative impact onto your star. Although I did laugh when George was bouncing the ball off Mummy Pig's chest trying to throw the ball to Peppa, that was funny. Peppa wants the damn ball. (In the TickleU version, Peppa says "Give me the ball" while the original says "Give the ball to me." I don't know why TickleU needed to change that, unless they wanted to make Peppa look even more mean. Which is dumb.) George -- I cannot believe I'm typing this -- runs in between Mummy Pig's legs and gives the ball to Peppa. Now that was cheeky! Peppa calls this silly and she tries it in reverse; but she is stuck! HAHA! If you listen closely; you can also hear Daddy Pig laughing all the way to the bank on that one. (They won't try that spot ever again, for obvious reasons. Daddy Pig is laughing because being stuck is his gimmick.)

Everyone giggles as Peppa pops herself out and lands on her ass on the grass while Mummy Pig grabs the ball, so I'm guessing Peppa is now the "Piggy In The Middle". Mummy Pig throws the ball to George and George catches it easily. George then throws it and Peppa catches it; so George is now in the middle. Mummy Pig and Peppa Pig play catch for a while; George is either unable to catch it, or don't care about catching. Mummy Pig is trying to throw the ball lower and lower; and George cannot catch it; while Peppa seems to be throwing it higher and higher. Peppa is a troll; and she proves herself even more so by walking over to George and then throwing the ball way over his head and Mummy Pig's. Once again; George looks into the hard camera -- as if he was waiting for some type of cue -- and then bawls his eyes out. This is the closest she gets to being a contemptable ghoul, and not merely being a troll. Mummy Pig looks pissed off by this and kindly tells Peppa to sod off, causing Peppa to apologize and it sounds hollow to me. (Eye contact violence is deadly in pre-school shows since other forms of violence are not allowed by BS&P, for obvious reasons. Also, "oh dear" is the same in the TickleU version!) In comes Daddy Pig with the ball as somehow, he gives the ball to Peppa and then grabs George as Peppa keeps insisting that George sucks at this game. (YOU TROLL~! George was doing just fine in the game, you were the cheater Peppa.) Peppa then throws the ball; and Daddy Pig raises George to a spot where there is no way he can not catch the ball, and George catches it with ease. Peppa frowns and stomps her foot because it's not fair; like a troll who finally got trolled itself. HAHA! Daddy Pig calls it fair and laughs with George; and then Mummy Pig joins in. Hey; she wanted to tease George and not help George in good faith, she pays for it. Peppa wants a helping hand and Mummy Pig puts Peppa on her back. We play catch for a while to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Slow start with the stupid decision to pay off George catching the ball too early; and then the finish was great. *** (60%).

Daddy Loses His Glasses: This is episode #9 on the animation paper as we begin this episode with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM and zoom into the living room with Daddy Pig reading the newspaper and watching the tele on the loveseat; while Mummy Pig is watching on the sofa and the kids are watching on the floor. Basically; they are watching the same two potato anthros we saw in episode #2; just making complete fools out of themselves for Peppa and George's amusement. Apparently; we discover where the family got the backsplash laugh from, so yes; even this show is pretty much admitting that television is an influence on children. Daddy Pig checks his glasses as the narrator points out that Daddy Pig has vision problems and needs the glasses to clearly see. This is furthered demonstrated when he sees the television with and without the glasses as without the glasses, they are a blur. (When he puts the glasses back on, it takes three seconds for the blur to go away, which is a logic break.) Sadly; the characters are talking gibberish, so I have no idea what they are saying on the television. Daddy Pig snorts and continues to read the newspaper. Jump cut to outside as Peppa and George are playing catch with the spotted bouncy ball of doom. The narrator claims that sometimes Daddy loses his glasses; and literally one second after he says that, in comes Mummy Pig to inform the kids that Daddy has indeed, lost his glasses. Peppa and George don't have a clue where they are and this is a bad sign for Daddy Pig, because he's blinder than a bat...man. It also makes him very grumpy as we jump cut to Daddy Pig trying to read the newspaper; but he cannot, because he cannot find his glasses. Daddy Pig is frowning and frustrated as Mummy and the kids come in. Mummy asks where he last put them. Daddy claims that he puts them in his pocket; but they are not in his pocket. Peppa offers to help and Mummy agrees to it; because it might stop Daddy from being grumpy. Daddy claims that he's not grumpy and everyone except him, laughs. Of course! We begin the search underneath Daddy's newspaper, no glasses. George tries the tele; no dice. (Featuring the debut of Goldie The Goldfish on top!)

Lots of oh'ing ensues as the kids bounce out of the room and head upstairs to the adult's bedroom as Daddy Pig has that look of "Please don't look" as if there is something unsuitable for family viewing in there. That made me laugh. Peppa and George enter the room and Peppa tells George not to knock anything over; while not seeing where she is going and bonks into the conveniently placed white flower with blue background giant vase. Surprisely; it did not shatter, since Peppa prevented that at least. Peppa frowns and George simply does the backsplash laugh in response. That was funny. Peppa blows George for that; and she should not submit to arrogance like that, that little troll. We then get Peppa running and jumping onto the bed, and then looks under the pillow as we jump cut to George looking at Daddy Pig's blue cross slippers. No dice can be had. George sniffs the slippers and they stink as George is not liking that; Peppa laughs at his expense. Next stop; the bathroom as the kids run into the bathroom. They check the toilet and the bath; but not in the sink bowl; and they wonder why the glasses are not there. Yes folks; they gave up despite not looking in the sink which is clearly there. I guess the sink is up too high; but come on, now! The kids all frown as they go downstairs and head into the living room. Daddy Pig is defeated and gets up from his chair, and lo and behold; there are Daddy's glasses sitting on the chair. Yes; Daddy Pig missed the pocket and they landed in his chair. Surprisely; they are not broken and shattered from Daddy Pig's immense body mass. (Which the glasses would have been broken regardless of body shape due to the weight of sitting down. That anthro was lucky.) Mummy Pig sums this all up and Daddy Pig blushes like a rose; because he's dumb. Silly Daddy indeed. Daddy Pig puts the glasses back on and stops blushing seconds after putting them on. Mummy Pig calls him silly; but now he's no longer grumpy, and Daddy Pig protests this outrage; and everyone laughs at him...AGAIN! Lots of snorting and Daddy joins in as they do the backsplash laugh in stereo to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Another fun pre-school episode and this took literally two paragraphs to complete. Great! *** 1/2 (70%).

Gardening: This is episode #10 on the animation paper as we head to Grandpa and Grandma Pig's house as this car is completely roofless now. Yes; they park right on the steepiest side of the hill..AGAIN! Granny Pig comes out of the house as George and Peppa run out of the car with Mr. Dinosaur (or as George would say "dinesaur, Rrrrrrr!") and the spotted bouncy ball. They run down the left side of the hill towards the garden as Grandpa Pig has a shovel with him in the garden. Peppa and Grandpa throw the ball to play catch for a bit as George shows off his dinosaur toy and growls. Grandpa has to act like he's surprised, which I should point out that George's dinosaur was a present from Grandpa Pig when he was born and that is canonal as see in a future episode of this show actually. Grandpa Pig is planting purple daisy like seed from a pounch of seeds after Peppa asks what he is doing. The seeds look like badly drawn peanuts by the way. Basically; we replay Illana Ruxpin demonstrating how to plant potatoes to Teddy Ruxpin, only it's flower seeds. In Britian; soil/dirt is called "earth". Grandpa is watering the garden while saying simple educational lines about how plants grow. It is what it is and it's all right, even though it's much more complex than that; but pre-school is pre-school; so there you go. We notice an out of nowhere apple seedling tree and a normal apple tree as Grandpa Pig goes over to it. Grandpa pushes the tree; it shakes and an apple bonks off his head and he sells it badly. Ah; his real name is Issac Newton Pig then. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Grandpa eats the apple; everyone giggles. He shows off the apple seeds inside the apple as we zoom out to the entire garden and it looks like a really interesting garden to say the least. Peppa jumps into the soil and whomever released this censored something out what Peppa said here. Don't ask me why; since she said "Grandpa, Grandpa, I want to plant a seed" in another video of the same episode. I'm having issues with VLC at the moment; but there are lots of Youtube videos of this show that do the job just as well. (I think the video in question was processed badly and thus a line got cut off. The episode wasn't banned nor censored otherwise, as it aired in the USA. The Peppa Pig Wiki is horrible by the way.) Grandpa brings out a strawberry seed packet and offers Peppa to plant some strawberry seeds. Yes; Peppa does say "yes, please" in a non-condescending manner. We repeat the spot; only Peppa offers to water the soil herself, which she does. Somehow; she stops and doesn't turn it into a muddy puddle and then everyone watches the ground as the narrator explains the obvious to us.

Peppa frowns because she realizes that this will take a long time to grow. At least it's not forever; then I would have to bust out the Youtube video of Terry Funk screaming "FOREVER!" over and over again. Mummy and Daddy Pig walk in to inform Peppa and George that they need to go home now. Peppa is not happy about this; but Grandpa Pig proclaims that the next time she comes back, it will grow into a plant. Which means she'll be back here in about four to six weeks basically. Peppa waves goodbye and somehow misses the ground where the seed is and runs off to the car; which has somehow turned in the opposite direction for no reason at all. Peppa waves goodbye to Granny Pig as the car goes down the hill. Jump cut to Grandpa Pig watering the ground as we time elapsed to about two to four weeks later as the plant is slowing showing up. After four to six weeks of time elapsing, Grandpa Pig notices strawberries have grown from this healthy plant. Yes; they don't mention the actual time, other than it's days and days. (As Suzy would say: It's magic! Yeah, remember that one for later.) Peppa and George run in as Peppa proclaims that they are back. They are all giddy about the growing strawberries as Grandpa gives them a strawberry per kid. They eat the strawberries and Peppa asks if they can plant something else. Grandpa Pig says "yes" and proclaims that it's George's turn to plant something. Take one guess what he wants to plant as Peppa -- the troll that she is -- orders George to choose a carrot. George doesn't like that idea at all and Grandpa Pig asks nicely, and George says "No". I love the way he says it, too. He jumps and says "NO", like a defiant adult. Grandpa asks George what he wants to grow and George proceeds to borrow into the soil like a dog a hole that is almost deep enough to bury himself. George bails and brings out Mr Dinesaur and buries the toy like a dog. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The narrator's promo says it all here. This is so adorable that I cannot call it stupid in good conscience. George bails and returns with the watering can and waters the Dinesaur of doom as Peppa calls him silly. All the Pig Family comes in laughing at George and everyone except George does the backsplash laugh in response. George don't care as he makes growling noises as Mr. Dinesaur and that ends the episode at 4:30 approx. Okay; that was a really funny finish and I liked it. *** 1/2 (70%).

Hiccups: We end this rant session with episode #11 on the animation paper and the episode opens on the house on the hill. Zoom into the kitchen with the Pig family eating breakfast as I realize that the spoons look like black sticks used to blow bubbles. Lots of eating, banging and pouring milk onto cereal with the narrator explaining the obvious to us, ensues. Mummy Pig will only allow the kids to go out to play if they finish their breakfast; so Peppa and George eat and drink in rapid fire; causing Daddy Pig to tell George to slow down because he might get the hiccups. Shouldn't that same warning apply to Peppa as well?! Of course; George hiccups less than a minute in causing Peppa to laugh in his face. Everyone giggles at his expense; I didn't think it was all that funny. Peppa wants to go out to play; Mummy says no because George has hiccups. We wait and George hiccups, just to tell Peppa that she's wrong about them going away. The adults giggle as Mummy Pig decides to let them out as long as Peppa takes care of George, which would have happened even if George didn't have hiccups. The back door opens, the kids run down the hill giggling and with the spotted white ball. We are going to play catch, George hiccups on cue and Peppa tells him to stop that. Then Peppa throws the ball and George catches it; but the hiccups arrive to cause George to drop the ball. That was funny. Peppa is blowing him off and now George has to throw the ball to Peppa. George hiccups; causing the ball to go high in the air and it bounces off Peppa's head. HAHA! I realize that CTE is not funny; but George had no intention of bouncing the ball off Peppa's head and his hiccuping caused it. (Yeah, I can nuance concussions and not cringe every time. I just understand the context of scenes because I actually watch them! I wish moral guardians had the same forththought. Plus, Peppa didn't even bother to move while looking up, so Peppa, that's your fault!) Everyone frowns and Peppa is not amused by this as the narrator claims that George's hiccups are spoiling the game. I beg to differ, sir. Peppa decides to play the hiccup doctor and George hiccups on that; which is a signal that this is not going to end well for anyone. Peppa's first attempted treatment: Touch your head and rub your tummy. It fails miserably I might add. Peppa then proceeds to blame the victim! George teases bawling and doesn't do it! I know this because he was looking directly at the hard camera and apparently did not get his cue.

Peppa's second attempted treatment: Jump three straight times on one leg, wave your arms out and do a raspberry three times and then turn around with your eyes closed, three times. Peppa is clearly trolling George now. You can guess this fails before it even happens. George is dizzy and flops on his back on the ground; and then hiccups after five seconds. At least she didn't blame George for getting it wrong this time. Peppa's third attempted treatment: She is going to give George a shock and scare him. At least this treatment is believable. She assures George that this is only a game. Curing hiccups is NOT a game, Peppa; you little troll! Peppa assures George that this is pretend scaring. Really?! (Pretend scaring is not scaring at all. You either give a scare or you don't. By the way, a shock is what the British call a scare.) Peppa then jumps up and snort loudly into George's face. George looks like he is going to throw up; but since that isn't allowed, he looks into the hard camera, gets his cue and bawls his eyes out. This one is a copy and paste of episode #1 & 2, rather than the usual bawl; so I assume this episode was produced third and aired as #11. Okay. Mummy comes in and scolds Peppa for playing roughly with George. Wait; so even Mummy Pig doesn't buy that Peppa wasn't trying to cure his hiccups?! (Yeah, I conceed that Peppa wanted the hiccups to stop. It's just her methods were absurdly stupid.) Peppa apologizes and admits that he was trying to stop George's hiccups. Mummy Pig picks up George and George double snorts as his hiccups are officially gone. Yay! In comes Daddy Pig with a tray containing two glasses of orange juice. (Also known as beakers in British English.) The kids are giddy over this. George grabs his and guzzles it down as the adults warn him not to do that again. Peppa is cocky and guzzles her juice down and she gets the hiccups. This what happens when you submit to arrogance, you get the hiccups. George laughs and does the backsplash laugh in response which was funnier than George getting laughed at the first time. Why yes; even big people can get the hiccups by drinking too fast, why do you ask?! Peppa is not amused as the adults now giggle at her expense and do the backsplash laugh in response. Peppa puts the glass down on the grass, hiccups, giggles and does the backsplash laugh while hiccuping to end the episode at 4:30 approx. The troll got trolled again, which is a delight to see regardless of who is the troll. *** (60%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; this was a fine mix and match of episode to start with in Series one. None of them are great or anything; but most of them were average to really fun. While I enjoyed most of the episodes; Best Friend wasn't all that hot and Mummy At Work was really annoying due to Peppa's really irresponsible behavior. Sorry defenders, have to call it out here. I would have accepted Mummy At Work more if they mentioned that Mummy Pig had a backup document a few minutes before Peppa messed up the computer. Otherwise it came off as Mummy Pig not caring that Peppa destroyed her work, which appeared to be in some secret code; which was hilarious. (Are you kidding me 2018 me?! Best Friend is the first thumbs up episode in Peppa Pig! Sure, the sexism on George wasn't a good look and the first half was a little slow, but once George became the patient for the two little trolls, it was glorious.) Series One was just the talent getting their feet wet and introducing the characters slowly enough so the pre-school children can be engaged with the characters. Yes; the show is predictable; but that's actually an advantage since most children haven't learned how characters work in the first place. Sure; for bigger children and teenagers, this is not a good thing, but they are not the target audience anyway. However; the next series' (seasons in North America) are going to get really hilarious now as there is a lot of funny stuff that goes on in this show. No matter how predictable this show gets; it's mostly a riot. Next up is the next ten episodes with more exciting angles and more bashing of TickleU's American dub. YAY! So...

Thumbs down for Mummy Pig At Work, thumbs up for Best Friend, thumbs in the middle for the rest and I'll see you all next time.

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