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Twenty Years Of Muddy Puddles: Peppa Pig Series One #3 Rant

Reviewed: 02/11/2018
Additional Commentary/Edited: 06/20/2024

Gregory Weagle Is Now Stuck! Everyone Is Now Stuck!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Okay; so we head back to Series one as lose some teeth, enjoy a new car, have a treasure hunt, Peppa gets sick, enjoy some snow, go to a windy castle literally, practice ballet, have some pancakes, debut Auntie, Uncle and Cousin Chole and follow up Mummy Pig's birthday with the grandparents babysitting the kids.. Yeah. It's going to be a fun ride to say the least. So, let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley and Mark Baker. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

The Tooth Fairy: So; we finally return with Episode #22 on the animation paper and the episode opens with the house on the hill as we head to the kitchen table with the Pig family eating pasta without any sauce whatsoever. (2024 Gregory Weagle Says: This has to be a gimmick because this show keeps doing this even as late as "Families" in Series 8 with the two mummies no less!) Spaghetti is Peppa Pig's favorite food; along with George's favorite. Daddy Pig claims that the slurping makes a lot of noise. I think Mr. Bull and his jackhammer might have something to say about that. (Yeah, this is just eating food compared to Mr. Bull trying to destroy stuff with loud jackhammers!) The kids all finish up as Mummy Pig thinks she is going to get some quiet; instead we get some giggling and out of nowhere, a tooth -- which look like Juicy Fruit gum titles -- falls onto her plate. (And we accuse Ruby-Spears and Hanho Heung-Up of this nonsense?!) Peppa is confused as to where this came from and Mummy Pig tells her to look in the mirror. Peppa runs into the hallway and finds a mirror; and discovers that her mouth has one less tooth in it. (She was disappointed by this moment.) Peppa grows concerned as Mummy Pig tells her not to worry since it's a "Milk Tooth". In North America, they are called baby teeth, primary teeth and properly called deciduous teeth. It's a tooth that will grow back in due time. Of course; now that she lost a tooth; the dreaded Tooth Fairy will come out to take the tooth and give her a gift in return. Considering that Father Christmas is considered real in this world -- and one of only three human beings in this show -- I wouldn't be shocked if the tooth fairy is also legit in this show. Then again; we have chimera humans in this series; so the whole "realism" angle has been thrown out the window, along with Pedro's ability to gain a clue. (Oh, just wait until you see the tooth fairy in this show. Let's just say that this show wasn't ready for legit humans to be on the show yet.) We even have a dream sequence for this which apparently; the Tooth Fairy is Peppa Pig with fairy wings and a gold coin putting it under Peppa's pillow. (She looks like Mummy Pig with Peppa's dress and wings due to the eyelashes.) We return to reality (no, not really) as Peppa wants to grow up to be the tooth fairy. See what happens when you don't adhere to reali....Oh, wait. Daddy Pig is amused by this and then asks George what he wants to be. It's a dinosaur, of course. Everyone giggles, because it's amusing. (George at least is unintentionally adhering to some reality even if that reality doesn't exist anymore.)

Peppa and George run up to the bathroom and teleport into their pjs in between scenes to brush their teeth. Peppa brushes the loose teeth and even Daddy Pig is questionning this. Peppa claims that she's cleaning the tooth; because a dirty tooth is a bad tooth. Okay; I made that part up. (Hey, at least Peppa is being kind to the fictional character because she is technically one in real life.) Giggling ensues as we head to bed and Peppa puts the tooth under her pillow. Daddy Pig does creep me out by calling them my little piggies after some smirking and good nights; and then Daddy Pig turns off the lights and we sleep. They sleep for literally five seconds and then the kids decide that they will wait for the tooth fairy to arrive. Peppa tosses and turns; complaining about the tooth fairy being late. (I should note that it's 7:00 PM on the cuckoo clock, so Peppa's complaining is more trolling.) Then George starts snoring because he's not getting anything since he didn't lose a tooth, so why should he care?! (No lies detected on that one.) Peppa notices this and blows off George's inability to stay wake and tries to stay awake. Ten seconds later, she is yawning and in denial; before finally falling asleep. Yes; we repeat the dream sequence from earlier, only this time it's real in storyline. (The clock literally reads 10:00 PM, so it took just three hours. That was quick since Father Christmas usually waits until 12:00 AM.) Oh; and the tooth fairy speaks and greets Peppa as I love that she's asking questions to someone who is asleep and unable to consent. That was kind of creepy. (The tooth fairy apparently stole Peppa's red shoes and dyed them pink!) The tooth fairy grabs the tooth under the pillow and praises her for cleaning the tooth; so it's a good thing she did. Sadly; Peppa doesn't get bonus credit for it. Some cocks crow and it's morning time on the house on the hill. (Listen, it's not my fault that the TaleSpin DVD Volume 1 set had "cock crowing" as part of the subtitles, twice!) We head to the bedroom as Daddy and Mummy Pig come in and Peppa wakes up realizing that she was asleep all night. (It's now 8:00 am on the clock.) She claims that the tooth fairy didn't come and since she was asleep all the time, Daddy Pig decides to check under the pillow for evidence. Lo and behold; there is a gold coin underneath the pillow; showing Peppa is wrong. Mummy Pig calls Peppa out for her being asleep and Peppa modestly admits it as she promises to stay wake next time because she's going to see the tooth fairy. Everyone laughs to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Not much to see here; it was all right. (This was more fun to watch on the second viewing, mostly due to Peppa's kindness to make sure the tooth fairy got a clean tooth. Sadly, we would never see the tooth fairy on television again after this.*** 1/4 (65%).

The New Car: Moving on to episode #23 on the animation paper, and we begin this one on the house on the hill with the car parked on the flat part of the hill facing east. Why can't these people park like this all of the time?! (Because parking on the steepest side on the hill is funny and the gravity on this show is magic that the car never goes down the hill as a result. Suzy Sheep said this in doublespeak, so it must be true.) The Pig family runs out of the house and gets into the car. Daddy Pig is last as the narrator explains that they are going for a drive in their red car; with the roof down. (In the TickleU version, the "roof" is now "the top". Okay, then. Also, Peppa Pig's line is so slow that it almost bleeds into the next line from Daddy Pig in the TickleU version. This annoyed me in the opening and now it's bleeding into the show. I can see why everyone does not like this American dub: The acting is off a lot!) Daddy Pig gets into the car and drives down the hill as everyone is ready for this car ride. We drive on the boring road for a while to drumbeats in the background music. Peppa loves the car and Daddy Pig claims that the car loves them; honking the horn. (The TickleU version did a surprisely brilliant job with the dub on this line all things considered. One of the few lines in this series which sounded better than the original.) Suddenly; the car goes BOIIINNNNGGGGGGG and sputters like crazy until the car stops dead on the road. BOIIINNNNGGGGG~! The narrator claims that the car doesn't sound very well as the front hood has clearly lost it's seal since it was loose during the bouncing of the car. (In the TickleU version, we get another "oh my" over "oh dear" and the car doesn't sound good. I would have been fine with the change if the narrator in the American dub said "doesn't sound very good". The dub seems to think Americans have no sense of nuance and the British do. That's kind of bigoted in my view.) Daddy Pig checks the engine and the engine is bouncing as well; so this might be a problem. Daddy Pig is not an expert in checking out engines, so Mummy Pig insists that they go see Granddad Dog and his auto-repair shop. (Both versions use the same term "garage", but it is pronounced differently. British: GA-rage, America: Gr-rage.)

Daddy Pig gets into the car and drives the car as it bounces up and down. Hmmm; I have experienced this in broken buses before. (I didn't know about how important airbags were for a smooth ride until they were broken. Bouncy, bouncy indeed.) Jump cut to Granddad's Auto-Repair Shop as this is the official debut of Granddad Dog in a speaking role since he appeared in The Playgroup earlier on in a non-speaking role. Granddad is the guardian who takes care of Danny Dog; since Danny's father is absent and will be absent until Series four at least. (Amazingly enough the early series for the Dog family would later be transferred to the Sheep family once Captain Dog returned to re-create the nuclear family, only with one known son. Granddad Dog is suppose to be a auto-repair man who is best friends with Grandpa Pig. At least that is what this show wants you to believe.) Granddad Dog's hat has a red car logo on the front. This is pronounced as ga-rage; instead of gar-age, I should point out. (Why did former self call this an auto-repair shop then?! Granted, it is technically true, but it's still named as Granddad Dog's Garage in all English versions!) I should also point out that in Britian, they mend cars, not repair them. (The TickleU version has it as "fix" because "repair" is too difficult for this crowd according to the corporate execs who believed redubbing this show was just a swell money making idea! Snicker! Snicker!) In comes Daddy Pig and his bumpy car as Granddad Dog checks the front engine and it doesn't sound very well. (Second time TickleU changed "oh dear" to "oh my" and "not very well" to "not very good".) Granddad Dog proclaims that he can fix it; but it will take all day. (I'm surprised the original didn't use the word "mend" here, considering how consistent they are with the word.) Peppa is not thrilled about this; but have no fear, Granddad Dog also runs a car rental service as they are allowed to use the parked blue car while he is mending the red car. The blue car is automated as Granddad Dog pushes a red button to let the roof down. (Called a "top" in the TickleU version. I thought they would use the word "rent" or "hire" here, but it's "borrowed" in both versions! Also, while Granddad Dog doesn't sound like he does in the TickleU version compared to the original, still a million times better than Danny Dog's voice.)

Granddad Dog proclaims that once they come back; the car will be fixed. (The narrator in the original calls the car "clever" while the TickleU version calls it a "fancy car". I wondered who came up the name "smartphone". Fancy car is better, methinks!) Yeah; I'll bet! (You will lose that bet former self!) The entire family gets into the car and drives away as we drive along the boring road some more for a long ass whomping time. We test the buttons on the control panel for a while. (Wow, while both versions had the same lines, the American dub actually is a version where they show Peppa Pig pointing to the dashboard when asking about the green button. The second run syndication British version didn't show Peppa at all! This means the American dub uses the first run syndication, which pretty much confirms that the kids were NOT wearing helmets in Bicycles! Explaination: The first run syndication involving car spots had no seatbelts shown at all and parents complained about this that it the spots had to be changed. Apparently, this change started in 2011, a good seven years after the episode aired!) The green button brings just the windows up -- except for the back windows for some reason -- and a second press brings them down. The cyan blue button brings up a radio antenna and we play rock music! This has to be Granddad Dog's car; no way it's anyone else's. (The song that played twice when Daddy Pig presses the blue button is called "Effect a Change" from the Jetplane Landing album, "Once Like a Spark".) Daddy Pig pushes the blue button to stop it as Peppa wants to buy this car now; Mummy Pig says no. Yeah; because I betcha Granddad would refuse that offer. The rain slowly comes down as Daddy Pig stops the car, because he has to raise the roof. (Or the top in the TickleU version. Sadly, Daddy Pig is dumb to not remember the color of the button despite Granddad Dog literally showing and saying it.) Sadly; he pushes the purple button and get a earful of horn in the process. HAHA! Daddy Pig is dumb. He then pushes the orange button which turns on the windshield wiper and windshield fluid sprays right into Daddy's face. Oh man; I hope that was water, since windshield fluid might cause Legionnaires' disease. If it's not; breathing it in is harmful as well.

Daddy Pig panics and pushes a ton of buttons in succession as the car gives the family a ride no one wants. Daddy Pig thinks this car hates him. Geez; I wonder why?! Mummy Pig then pushes the red button and the roof finally closes on top. (TickleU uses the "top" word again.) Daddy Pig is...you guessed it. Daddy Pig starts the car and drives; literally one second later, the sun comes up. (Just making Daddy Pig into a bigger geek!) Peppa wants the roof up as Daddy Pig teases screwing up again before the remainder of the family yells at him to push the red button. Daddy Pig pushes the red button and the roof comes down and they drive back to the repair shop as Granddad Dog with wrench in hand has fixed the car. (Wonder if the original first run was "mend" throughout and the new version was to aplease the American audience?!) Everyone cheers and Daddy Pig even remembers to pay Granddad Dog for the repairs! Great! The family get into the red car as everyone waves goodbye; while Daddy Pig starts the red car and drives away stage left. The family decides that they like the old car better than the old car and Daddy Pig claims that the car likes them too as he honks the horn. (By the way, TickleU KEPT all scenes where Daddy Pig's driver's side is on the right rather than the left. Anime dubs usually reverse these scenes!) Everyone giggles as we drive away to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Nothing special; but it was fine. (I like this one more on the second viewing, mostly because Daddy Pig is dumb enough to make the new car look good enough to buy. So, *** (60%).)

Treasure Hunt: We continue with Series 1 with Episode #24 and the episode opens on the white house on the hill as we head inside the kitchen at the table with Grandma Pig making a treasure map and drawing it out of crayons. (By the way, a special thanks to Evan's Media Archive for releasing nine of the eleven America dub episodes on Youtube, with this episode being the last full episode on record.) Cut to Grandpa Pig digging a hole in between two apple trees and burying his CHEST OF DEMONS...POW! OUCH! Ummmm; I mean, a trunk filled with something. Grandma Pig is yelling at him because here comes the Pig Family in their red car, parking on the steepest side of the hill, AGAIN. Grandpa Pig buries the chest but not his chest; because that would have sucked and he would have probably hate life. I would have been fine with this if this was a flashback at the end of the episode instead of the beginning of the episode to drive up suspense and then show that it's not magic, but logic. This was a case of not trusting the child to allow the child to figure it out on their own. The family gets out and runs to Grandma Pig as Grandpa Pig has finished the burial of the chest (but not his chest) as we meet and greet. I should note that the "Ganny and Papa Ig" angle for George is still in full effect at this point, but he stopped doing it in later seasons. (No he hasn't, George still does this even in the post-reboot. Amazingly enough, TickleU kept this nuance.) Grandpa Pig puts on his black pirate hat and it's act like a pirate moron day. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! With a wink; but not "you betcha" because that is Sara Palin's gimmick. Yes, it's time for a treasure hunt, but they already killed the suspense and with no humor from Daddy Pig, this is going to be boring. George gets the pirate hat from Grandpa Pig for fun. Peppa should wear the hat; since she's the troll of the family. George smirks as Peppa is having difficulty reading a map; which is easy to do when it's upside down...which Daddy Pig is completely clueless as well. (I wondered who was enabling who here. I'm more pissed off that TickleU changed "a bit difficult" to "very difficult" both times. Why?! Both Daddy and Peppa act like geeks in the original, does the American dub have to bury them deeper into the earth?!) Grandma Pig corrects him and Daddy Pig has that look of "I don't like being shamed" before correcting himself. He's a bit of an expert on things, mostly at making me laugh. (TickleU changed "I thought as much." to "I can see that!". The American dub seems meaner for some reason.) Also; Peppa calls the red "X" a red cross. Careful Peppa; that might land you in trademark court with the Red Cross. (Surprisely, it's the same in both dubs!) Peppa has no idea where the trees are; so Grandma Pig claims that there is a clue in the bottle; if she finds the bottle. Okay; how difficult is it to find two trees standing in a straight line to each other in a garden with barely any trees whatsoever?! They are clearly doing the bottle thing to kill time in a four and a half minute episode. (Story of the show actually!)

Peppa and George run down the hill and grabs the conveniently placed bottle. The adults follow and Grandpa Pig takes the message out of the bottle which contains a purple marked note which Grandpa Pig claims is from a pirate. Peppa tries to read it; but it's impossible and it's nearly difficult because the hand writing is horrible and more unreadable than a Trump tweet on Twitter. (Time to walk back that one former self. Trump's tweets alone should land him in the International Criminal Court and I am saying that in the nicest way possible.) Mummy Pig agrees with me and Grandpa Pig is in complete denial. Grandpa Pig is senile; but I repeat myself. Grandpa Pig claims that the message reads "follow the arrows"; basically admitting that he wrote it and might be a former pirate on the sea. Peppa is confused as George turns around and finds arrows made of sticks in the grass. We follow the arrows which do the loop-de-loop for only fifteen pounds and after some running and giggling; we find the dreaded WCW KEY OF DOOM. Peppa takes the key and she has run out of clues. (By the way, "well done" was changed to "nice job" in the TickleU version!) The adults come in as Grandma Pig asks Peppa to look at the map and there are two apple trees bordering the X on the map. Peppa then looks to her right and notices the two apple trees and finds the slightly discolored area where Grandpa Pig dug the hole. Daddy Pig comes in with the shovel and starts digging for a while and then proclaims that there's nothing here. (By the way, "oh dear" is kept in both dubs!) One more shovel of dirt later; his shovel hits the treasure chest, but not Grandpa's chest since that's cruel. ("Hang on!" is changed to "Hold it!" in the TickleU dub.) Daddy Pig brings out the chest as everyone pops. (By the way, Grandpa Pig says "well done" in both versions!) Peppa opens the chest with the WCW KEY OF DOOM; and there are six gold coins. (TickleU is being so anal as a dub to change Peppa saying "got" to "have".) But wait; there are six people in this story; so they cannot be real gold coins; they are gold papered chocolate coins! This is the point where I would have moved all the preparations for the hunt to here to show that this was the grandparents that did this and wasn't magic. Peppa and George pull the paper off and love their chocolate coins. Everyone loves chocolate coins as they mess up their faces and do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This is not the best treasure hunt ever; this is the most obvious treasure hunt ever. (Bobby Heenan: Are you calling Peppa Pig a liar?! Me: Yes, yes I am. I'm giving it ** 1/4 (45%) due to the bad hand writing from Grandpa Pig being funny to me. Still a boring and heatless episode.)

Not Very Well: Here is episode #25 on the animation paper and we begin with the house on the hill as we zoom into the kitchen table with Daddy Pig and Mummy Pig sitting down pouring milk and doing nothing in that order. There is cereal on the table as Daddy Pig calls the kids out for breakfast as George runs down the steps to the kitchen. Peppa is walking and she has the measles; which of course, they cannot say as such on pre-school television, as they are just red spots. Mummy Pig notices that Peppa Pig doesn't look very well and Daddy Pig brings out his colorful smartphone -- because it's smarter than Daddy Pig, you see -- and rings up the office of Doctor Brown Bear; which I believe is his speaking debut on this show. (He made a cameo in The School Fete.) Head to Doctor Brown Bear's office as we exchange notes on the situation; as Doctor Brown Bear tells Daddy Pig to put Peppa to bed and he'll come over to check her out. Okay. (All Red Crosses are green in this show for obvious trademarked reasons.) Jump cut to Peppa in bed with red spots all over her face. The family watches on as Doctor Brown Bear comes in asking how Peppa is feeling. Peppa is not feeling well as Brown Bear tells Peppa to stick out her tongue. Peppa sticks out her tongue and that is enough for Brown Bear to conclude that she merely has a rash; and not the measles, so it's not serious. Yeah; I'll bet! (The Peppa Pig wiki claims it's chicken pox, but I not buying that assessment either.) Oh; and yes, Peppa does get some medicine -- and even asks for it --and it is awful. (So, Doctor Brown Bear's first name is Buckley?! Memo to the creative team: You can have that one for free. I do these reviews as a hobby, not a pay cheque.) The medicine, not the decision to have it. I don't find taking awful medicine to be courageous; but what do I know about courage?! (Wow, that was a hell of a confession there former self!) She must stay in bed, but visitors are fine because the rash isn't infectous on others. Yeah; I'll bet! Brown Bear leaves and will check on Peppa later as Peppa wants to get out of bed now; but Mummy Pig cuts that one off. Peppa thinks this is boring; but Mummy Pig reminds Peppa that she can have visitors, which means Suzy Sheep -- Peppa's best friend -- can visit her. (Since we haven't heard from Suzy in a while, the narrator has to remind us that Peppa and Suzy are best friends.)

Mummy Pig brings out the cellphone of doom and rings in Mummy Sheep who is in the lobby of their house with Suzy Sheep. Mummy Sheep baas when she answers the phone; that was funny. We exchange notes on the situation with Suzy Sheep and Peppa Pig and this was detailed even to the point where Peppa mentions how horrible the medicine tasted! That was great! They explained the situation in a believable manner and it leads to Suzy Sheep visiting Peppa Pig in her nurse's outfit to help Peppa get well, and it's fine because the rash is not infectious, according to Doctor Brown Bear. We head outside with Mummy Pig as Mummy Sheep has arrived in her yellow car with Suzy Sheep, Rebecca Rabbit and Danny Dog. The kids jump out of the car sounding awfully giddy and then run into the house and into Peppa's bedroom. Peppa's is less spotty than usual; so like everything in this show, this is going to be the quickest healing of a rash ever. Even Tweeg required a half hour to get rid of the Tweezles! Suzy asks about how Peppa feels and she decides to milk the illiness a bit as she wants a beaker/glass of orange juice. Suzy sells and bails; she returns with a glass of orange juice, runs up the ladder and literally sits on Peppa's bed to give Peppa the glass of orange juice. (The narrator basically kills the whole thing by saying that Peppa is enjoying herself, which is code for Peppa is milking this whole thing for her amusement.) Peppa's spots are reducing as she asks Danny Dog to get her some ice cream and Rebecca Rabbit for some flowers. (Did I mention that Danny Dog has some truama when it comes to tasting flowers?! He seems to hate flowers in storyline.) Which of course, doesn't happen because in comes the adults along with Doctor Brown Bear. Peppa has been sick for almost four minutes now and she's now down to three spots on her face. Even funnier; Doctor Brown Bear thinks Suzy is a real nurse and Suzy has to tell him that she is not a real nurse! HAHA!

After this happens and Brown Bear has the right to look at Peppa Pig again, Peppa Pig's spots are all gone. Yes; she was sick for less than four minutes! Fastest recovery of a rash, ever! Even Peppa is shocked by this and want to stay in bed for a bit longer as a precaution. Even Peppa Pig thinks she's not totally fine now! Daddy Pig brings out the spotted ball and wants to play in the garden with the other kids and Peppa instantly gets up and she's officially fine. HAHA! Brown Bear calls it a complete recovery and Daddy Pig leads all the kids out of the house and down the hill. (Yup, she was milking this rash for all it was worth, like the troll that she is.) Everyone giggles as Daddy Pig bounces the ball to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This is the best Doctor Brown Bear episode of the lot and it goes downhill from there, sadly. **** (80%). (Doctor Brown Bear is a good person, but he suffers from burnout in a profession where the anti-science cult looms large. Doctor Brown Bear would retire once Doctor Polar Bear took over and that would lead to the first same sex couple in the show's history. It also led to a cowardly act by the censors that didn't appear in the storybook version of "Health Check". Yes, Peppa has merch! And books, one featuring Peppa Pig getting vaccainated! More on that later!)

Snow: We continue on with episode #26 on the animation paper and begin on the house on the hill during a snowstorm. (This is literally the same opening sequence to Muddy Puddles only with snow.) A lot of jingling of bells ensues during the zoom in shot as George and Peppa are looking out the window. We are at the table as it's nine o'clock on the clock on the wall. Peppa wants to go outside and Mummy Pig says okay; but wrap up in layers because it's very cold outside. Considering when I wrote this rant; truer words were never spoken! (As I'm doing the additional commentary for this episode, it's mid June and going to be over 31*C outside on a lovely sunny days!) Daddy Pig also tells them to wear the hats, mitts and scarf while outside as the kids all dress up for the snow event. Peppa is wearing red and purple while George is wearing blue and yellow for the event. Peppa has her yellow boots (or her "Golden Boots" as she would say), while George is wearing red boots. They run out of the house and make holes in the snow; George most of all. Peppa then trips and falls head first into the snow; so anyone who thinks Daddy Pig is a big idiot, Peppa is not too far behind in that department. George laughs at her expense and Peppa claims that it's not funny. I beg to differ and so does George when Peppa shakes the snow off of her. Peppa then giggles and let's play snowballs; which is a signal for "let's have a snowball fight". This cannot end well for George. Peppa makes a snowball and hits George in the chest with it. George teases crying; but laughs it off! There is character development to this gimmick as George throws a snowball at Peppa and it lands on her chest. Yes; boy on girl violence is allowed in this show, why do you ask?! Lots of giggling ensues as George bails and Peppa create a bigger snowball. She chases George, ordering him to come back. George somehow no sells this deal and gets hit in the back with the snowball; and they both giggle. (Basically, it's the old cartoon spot involving bigger and bigger weapons, only it's just bigger snowballs for obvious reasons.) Peppa bails, George makes a giant snowball and chases after Peppa; hitting Peppa with a snowball right in Peppa's back. Peppa then makes a giant snowball that looks like the bottom of a snowman; struggles to walk over and tosses it right onto George's chest. George smacks the snowy ground hard and this is enough for George to bawl his eyes out. Only after he sits up like the Undertaker! This game is too rough now; but it was funny while it lasted.

Peppa apologizes and wants to build a snowman. Of course; because building a snowwoman would blow the writers minds! Peppa rolls the body out and George makes the head and puts it on top of the body. Peppa almost screws this up. The kids bail to find stones and sticks; which will not break any bones on this show since it is a pre-school show. George sticks the sticks into the snowman; while Peppa slaps the stones onto the front of the snowman's face. Next; Peppa bails to get a carrot for the nose and returns with one. Considering that the carrot has the green end of it; I assume Peppa raided the fridge in the house for it. I have no idea where they found the sticks and stones since everything is buried underneath the snow, but whatever. The narrator summerizes the snowman and claims that it might be a bit cold. I have watched Frosty The Snowman too many times to know that this is BS; but we need to kill time. Peppa declares that the snowman needs clothes to keep him warm. George bails into the house and then returns with a green scarf, a green hat and green mitts. Also, they are huge. If you cannot guess the person who wears these clothes...you guessed it. The kids put the mitts, scarf and hat on and Peppa calls for Mummy and Daddy to come out to inspect the snowman. Mummy Pig comes out with her orange clothes and red scarf and declares it the best snowman she has ever seen...to troll on Daddy Pig. That's because Daddy Pig comes out in his coat and boots; but no mitts, no scarf nor a hat. (Good thing BS&P stepped in and not have George steal the boots and the coat for the snowman. That would have sucked for Daddy Pig, probably would have hated life.) A rare case of George being the troll of this outfit! Everyone trolls Daddy Pig; especially the writers themselves! He sneezes and the narrator treating it like Daddy Pig is an idiot, even though George is the one who stole Daddy's mitts, scarf and gloves! Even the narrator is trolling Daddy Pig! Peppa is asking in a nice tone (speaking of tone trolling...) why he isn't wearing his hat, scarf and gloves. Keep in mind; Daddy Pig was the one telling them to wear those same objects. Daddy claims that he doesn't know where they are and Mummy Pig knows as the narrator sums this up well. Yeah; George can be a funny troll, too! Mummy Pig, George and Peppa do the backsplash laugh in response as Daddy Pig isn't amused. For about ten seconds as he does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. One of the better episodes of the first season; mostly due to Daddy Pig being trolled by George of all people! *** 3/4 (75%).

Windy Castle: We continue on with Series 1 with Episode #27 and we begin this one on the house on the hill with the entire Pig family coming out to their car, which at least is facing in the right direction so we don't have a situation where the car is facing the house and then magically faces down the hill. Also; at least the car is not parked on the steep side of the hill, either. There is some giggling from the kids as Daddy Pig explains that they are going to Windy Castle. Well; he was half right on that as you will see. Peppa asks what Windy Castle is and Daddy Pig claims it's the castle on the high hill. He's half right as you will see. Peppa is not amused by this and invokes rigid gender role playing to support her argument. (It's one thing to think a castle is boring, but claiming that it's just for boys is bigoted in my view. One of the pitfalls of seeing the early episodes first.) George loves castles and snorting short bursts. Daddy states that Windy Castle is a great lookoff to see Grandpa Pig and Grandma Pig's house; and that is enough for Peppa to jump into the backseat with George. It's time for more misadventures with Daddy Pig trying to read a map; because he always gets so lost in these shows. Mummy Pig gets to drive the car as she is questionning this because Daddy Pig gets grumpy when he doesn't get the map reading right; and Daddy Pig is already grumpy before he even has a chance to screw up. We get into the car and drive down the hill to the main road for awhile and since we need to fill time; we play "I Spy" for a while. I do love Peppa's answer of thinking outside the box with the blue sky, that was funny. Daddy Pig is reading the map upside down and screwing up. Question: Daddy Pig didn't move the map at anytime during the game; how in the heck did it get upside down?! That's one dumb logic break. (Daddy Pig moved the map to a position where no one could see it and thus it's possible that he reversed it on the way up. I'm lopping off that logic break former self.) Mummy Pig proclaims that they are lost and Daddy Pig is grumpy. Daddy Pig proclaims that he'll make it to Windy Castle even if it takes all day; prompting Mummy Pig to bring out her cell phone because they don't got all day. I should note that I have seen this episode well in advance and no one noticed Daddy Pig was reading the map upside down. (So, everyone was a geek, not just Daddy Pig.) Mummy Pig dials her cellphone and we head to the white house on the hill and into the living room as Grandpa Pig answers the green phone while Grandma Pig is reading Ezza magazine.

They make fun of Daddy Pig being grumpy and Daddy Pig blows them off for it. (It is impossible to take Daddy Pig seriously saying that he's not grumpy, while clearly acting grumpy!) Grandpa Pig basically tells them to stay on the main road until they get there; which would have happened even without the map reading. This was designed to make Daddy Pig look like an idiot. Don't get me wrong; Daddy Pig's brainfarting is funny, but it is usually funny when he's being hyper-compentent and you want to drop him down a peg. Here; he looks like a complete dork. We continue driving and Peppa points to a tall rampart tower with a checkered flag on top right on a hill. It's also windy, clear as day. It has to be Windy Castle; or more accurately, Windy Tower. I guess that name is trademarked in Britian. We get the thrilling steep hill "come on car" driving up spot and it manages to make it. I would not be parking on a hill that steep; and yet it does. (I think they stopped doing this spot after Series 5. I don't know why, it wasn't offensive or anything.) They all get out as Peppa is awe-inspired by this rampart. Daddy Pig opens the door and everyone goes in, walks around the spiral stairs and the windows actually show the characters walking up in a nice touch. We head to the top with the flag and a yellow telescope. We see the view from the tower and this place looks like a barren green field with very few trees; as if there is clear cutting en masse and the cutter were forced to plant in new trees. Daddy Pig puts a coin into the telescope as Peppa wants to go first. Since she said "please", she must go first on the condition that George goes second. Peppa is lifted by Daddy Pig as Peppa looks into the telescope and sees a closeup of the white house on the hill as Grandma and Grandpa Pig walk out of the door down a hill to their garden. Peppa jumps down and Daddy Pig lifts George up to see Ganny Ig and Papa Ig not suspecting that the Pig Family is spying on them at this very moment. George waves at them and Peppa calls George silly because they are too far away. Mummy Pig brings out the cellphone to ring them in, the grandparents notice the telescope and they all wave back. (How convenient for Grandpa Pig to have his cellphone in his hands just before he answers the phone! That was funny.) Peppa loves Windy Castle. Everyone loves Windy Rampart~! Everyone laughs to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was all right; although I would like it more if Daddy Pig was merely a smart person who brainfarts at the weirdest of times, rather than looking like a total moron. ** 3/4 (55%).

My Cousin Chloé: My Cousin Chloé is episode #28 on the animation paper by the way; replacing Hiccups on the Muddy Puddles Canadian DVD set. We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM as Peppa and George come out of the house with the spotted bouncing ball as they hop down the hill. George throws the ball so light; but Peppa purposely drops it and then blames George for throwing it too hard. What a troll?! Worse; she claims that she wins due to some bogus DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS~!) and grabs the ball. Peppa throws it, nearly takes George's head off with this and she giggles like a jerk. (Wow, they are playing dodgeball here which can be a violent sport.) George gets up and surprisely; he doesn't cry as Mummy and Daddy come in with the ball. They don't even bother scolding Peppa for nearly murdering George's face with the ball as they inform the kids that Chloe Pig is coming to see them. Peppa then goes into a spiel about Chloe refusing to accept George because he's too little. Again; what a mean troll Peppa is?! Daddy Pig laughs this off and claims that Chloe will probably play with George, and it's just Peppa acting like a troll. Yeah; he didn't say that, but it was implied. We hear horn honking and a pig anthro in a roofless blue car drives up and at least the car is on the least steepist side of the steep hill, so someone in this show has a clue. The female pig in a pink dress is driving and she's Auntie Pig; voiced by Alison Snowden; and in the back seat is her daughter, Chloe in a yellow dress. Chloé Pig Season one is voiced by Eloise May and this show is the only appearance for this voice talent. She's also wearing black shoes like every one in the Pig family and she's bigger than Peppa; but smaller than Mummy Pig. (This is Auntie Pig's debut and Cousin Chole's official debut as Uncle Pig is absent. This runs different in Peppa Pig Tales as Baby Alexander debuted first, then Uncle Pig and then Auntie Pig in Baby Bumps in that order. Sadly, Cousin Chole has not made her debut on Peppa Pig Tales yet in any form, while the Penny Polar Bear family actually has in various forms.) She runs out of the car and down the hill to meet and greet with the Pig family. Mummy and Daddy Pig leave with the spotted bouncy ball.

Peppa wants to play catch and Chloe doesn't want to play little kid games; but she reconsiders only for George's sake. (Cousin Chole at least uses gender neutral terms, and does have a soft spot for George because he is smaller than Peppa. I think Chole just thinks Peppa is a hypocritic and a mean troll without the size to counter someone bigger than Peppa, which fits Chole well.) Then they talk about play by the proper rules or the baby rules; which they choose the proper rules. (Of course, "Catch" in Britian means "Tag" here, which I missed originally. I shouldn't have since the ball was in Mummy Pig's hands, so it couldn't be catching a ball.) Chole wants to start first as we are playing tag and Peppa is "it". George and Chloe bail as Peppa is not impressed by this as the kids run past her stage left. (Peppa just stands there confused for like thirty seconds, so Peppa, that's your fault! CHASE THEM YOU TROLL~!) Peppa chases George; and then Chloe grabs George and runs in the opposite direction. Even in pre-school shows with no heels; someone has to CHEAT TO WIN~! That was funny. Peppa is protesting this outrage as completely unfair. Chloe claims George is little and so she helps him because Peppa was punching down on George as a soft target. I realize she didn't say most of this; but the implication is there. Brilliant! Chloe asks if she needs help and Peppa blows it off because she's a big girl. (Want to walk back that incident, troll? I cannot take anything you say seriously. You are not a big girl, SHAD UP~!) Now; I thought Peppa was six years old in storyline, but after reading some of the materials for this show, she's closer to four years old, but not quite there yet. Chloe age has not been revealed in the show; but there are claims that she's eight years old. I think she might be closer to seven than eight; but what do I know. She looks ten years old in the show to me. (Charlotte Sheep has to be at least 18-21 years old since she can drive a car on her own.) We continue this totally unfair contest of tag as Peppa has to try to catch Chloe with George in tow; this is a fool's errand. Peppa is totally out of breath and calls tag silly; because saying stupid on a pre-school show is like saying damn on a big children's show. Chloe sets George down and has a big children's game called Sly Fox. I don't have the time to explain the game itself; but there is a website that has the rules and objectives for this very game.

Peppa wants to be the sly fox and the object is basically to creep up on her; which sounds so wrong in 2017 and super creepy in hindsight. (TickleU would have changed this to "sneak up" if they had a clue, and it would have been an improvement.) Peppa looks at the conveniently placed tree and then closes her eyes as George and Chloe slowly creep up on her. Peppa turns around and you have to return to the start if you move as you must be a statue in order to continue the game. The person who makes it to the Sly Fox successfully wins. Ooops; I did basically explain the game in this rant. Personally; I would have added the "three strikes rules", so there was a chance the Sly Fox might win if the kids eliminate each other three times. Peppa is so happy to catch George putting his foot down by mistake and telling him to go back to the start that she turns around, Chloe runs in and tags Peppa from behind to win. HAHA! It was well within the rules; as she did creep up, only it was much faster. The only thing that annoyed me about this was Chloe saying she could move whenever she likes. I would have her say: "Your back was turned; so I'm allowed to move again." because that is exactly what happened and it was within the rules. This implies that Chloe had to CHEAT TO WIN~ even though she didn't. Since Chloe is the winner of round one; it's time for Peppa and George to creep up on her since Chloe is the sly fox. I bet George wins this one and Peppa loses again because she's too cocky. Chloe turns around; George and Peppa stop. Chloe then invokes eye contact violence and Peppa moves; the most dangerous move in the world. HAHA! George didn't move at all as Peppa protests this outrage as unfair; even though it's clearly within the rules. Peppa sucks at playing big games. Chloe points out the rules and turns around as Peppa returns to the start; and guess what happens? George runs in and tags Chloe for the easy win. HAHA! (Chole is a totally fair person: She explains the rules and George simply follows them. There's no attempt to screw Peppa over here; Peppa is a crybaby because she acts like a troll and the troll can't win fairly. Awesome! Why did former self give this episode *** 1/4?) Peppa wants to play another game and Chloe agrees; as long as it's a grownup game. Peppa giggles with glee as she bails stage right because it's her favorite game of all time. If you cannot guess what this game is; you have no business watching this show. Chloe asks George what it is and George jumps up and down in glee. Peppa returns with her "golden" boots on and already has George's red boots on retainer.

I just love how they are making an effort to build suspense in something we clearly know is going to happen. (Also, they stopped taking their shoes off and just wear the boots with their shoes on. Which is actually brilliant considering Peppa lost her shoes in the garden once. Smart move!) Oh; and apparently, Peppa brought some spare orange boots for Chloe as Chloe is not exactly impressed by this. (Even though Chole is very good at these games, she seems to not like games where you can always win and never lose. Jumping up and down in muddy puddles is one of them.) She tells Peppa that this is not a grownup game; and Peppa decides she won't jump in them either. We complain a lot about men being insecure; here's a great example of women being insecure about certain games. To the MRA's: It really isn't about you at all. (Go find your God and kill it. That's what you wanted to be anyway. Oh wait, that means you have to die in order to go to the kingdom. That would make you sound like Heaven's Gate.) George don't care and finds a big muddy puddle out of nowhere. George jumps up and down in muddy puddles. This is probably why Hiccups was not on the DVD set. Peppa and Chloe watch on as the narrator pretty much admits that Peppa and Chloe are insecure as Daddy and Mummy Pig enter out of nowhere as Daddy Pig is so giddy about this as they walk into the muddy puddles and the three pigs all jump up and down in muddy puddles; while causing earthquakes in the process. Peppa and Chloe look at each other; and Peppa somehow cannot look at Chloe and is staring directly into the hard camera. Splish! Splash! I was dancing in the muddy bath! All on British Tele! Chloe finally gives up because the adults, including a woman is jumping up and down in muddy puddles; so it's all right for her to jump in. She takes off her black shoes and puts on the orange boots. (George is at least smart enough to wear them with the boots, so if she loses the shoes, that's Chole's fault!) Peppa and Chloe join in and the race they had was a draw as the narrator ends by saying "Chloe and Peppa love jumping up and down in muddy puddles. Everyone loves to jump up and down in muddy puddles!" as they jump up and down in muddy puddles while giggling and snorting. Moral guardians weep in sorrow for Chloe losing the battle to become respectable in their eyes and I don't care to end the episode and the first DVD set at 4:30 approx. I actually liked Chloe until the climax; but thankfully, muddy heads did prevail here. Now I see why they chose this episode over Hiccups and Piggy In The Middle in the Muddy Puddles DVD set, because the DVD set had to end with muddy puddles as the payoff. Good choice, then. (This was so much more entertaining on the second viewing, so **** 1/4 (85%).)

Pancakes: Next up is episode #29 on the animation paper, as the episode opens at the house on the hill as we zoom into the kitchen as Mummy Pig has a wooden spoon and has put a carton of milk on top of the table. (I should point that in Britian; it's called tea time as per the narrator's opening spiel. This in some families in British and Australasia can be their main "dinner/supper" meal. In American, considering the culture, this would likely be breakfast in the TickleU version. Both are valid times.) There is a bag of flour, a bowl, a frying pan and one egg. Just one egg?! Really, Mummy Pig?! (I checked recipes on-line for this and even those recipes use one egg. Mummy Pig is the sensible one, former self.) The narrator claims that Mummy Pig has a surprise. The surprise is that they are having pancakes and Daddy Pig loves it. Everyone loves it as they all giggle and snort for a while. Everyone loves pancakes so says the narrator. Daddy Pig takes the frying pan and offer to flip the pancakes, because he's a bit of an expert on this. Mummy Pig questions this because he got grumpy the last time when the pancake landed on the floor. Daddy Pig denies it and claims there was an issue with the frying pan. Note that he was grumpy when he denied this; so him not being grumpy when this happened is a lie. The kids laugh in response along with Mummy Pig, so they know what's really going on. (Blaming your tools is like blaming video game specs for your bad programming skills. Daddy Pig is dumb.) Peppa wants to help make the pancakes and Mummy Pig agrees to it as we make the batter with flour, milk (a lot of milk, I might add) and just one egg. Mummy Pig starts stirring and Peppa wants to help stir. Mummy Pig agrees to it and Peppa stirs rather well. George joins in and the batter splatters around. Peppa joins in and batter splatters even more; which is hilarious because none of the batter spreads onto the table at all despite leaving the bowl clear as day. Until about five seconds later when the batter is spilling onto the table. Geez; the logic plug-in defense squard look long enough to plug that one up; didn't they?! Mummy Pig grabs George and breaks this one up. Mummy Pig tells the kids to sit down as she cooks the pancakes.

The Pig Family has a gas operated stove as Mummy Pig pours the batter on the frying pan which is already on top of the gas burner of the stove. It literally takes five seconds for the bottom to get hard and the pancake starts to wiggle in the frying pan. Everyone except Mummy Pig licks their chops in stereo as Mummy Pig flips the pancake successfully with ease. (It's 4:00 PM on the clock, so I'm guessing this is a snack time, and breakfast wouldn't have worked in North America.) Peppa Pig pops for this as Daddy Pig wanted Mummy Pig to flip it higher; but Mummy Pig basically tells him to do it himself. Yeah; do it yourself, Daddy Pig; otherwise it wouldn't be funny. George gets first dibs on the pancake and we bring out a bottle of the MAPLE SYRUP OF CANADIAN STEREOTYPES~! George eats his pancake in three bites. Of course! We repeat the entire sequence for Peppa, including Peppa popping for her own pancake, Daddy Pig complaining, syrup and Peppa eating it in three bites. Of course! Only difference is Peppa showing her teeth and calling the pancake delicious. We repeat the entire sequence for Mummy Pig, only with different animation, some word difference and Mummy Pig eating hers in two bites. She licks her chops; but doesn't show teeth. (Someone tell the creators that they are committing gimmick infringement on Dora The Explorer!) Daddy Pig pours the remaining batter as the kids watch on because Daddy Pig is cocky about flipping that damn pancake high into the air. The kids and Mummy Pig have bailed over towards the entrance of the kitchen, which along with the kids giggling, indicates that Daddy Pig is going to flip it so high that it will lands on Daddy Pig's face. Daddy Pig flips the pancake so hard, it lands on the ceiling causing everyone to gasp in horror. Me; I was more like BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Peppa deduces it all as Daddy Pig is dumb. (Seems to me that Daddy Pig's pancake flipping was taught by someone who flips pancakes outside where the ceiling is so high, it's impossible for it to hit a ceiling. Daddy Pig also never took the ceiling into consideration either.) Daddy Pig gets onto the table while blushing the entire time. I AM THE TABLE~! Daddy Pig is not anywhere close to touching the pancake and he's screwed. Or is he?!

Mummy Pig and the kids have a Krackpotkin plan and they bail out of the kitchen and go upstairs. They go into Mummy Pig's bedrom and she tells the kids that after the count of three, they jump up and down. Like they are jumping up and down in muddy puddles. DING! After the count of three by Mummy Pig; we jump, jump, all you loves~! Or if this is too rock for ya; jump, jump~! (You were all expecting a Mega Man reference there? Nope! Too much "Rock" in that one.) Cut back to Daddy Pig looking up as he is off the table now as he hears bumping and giggling and is generally confused. Finally; the pancake is dislodged and...BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Told ya it would land on Daddy Pig's huge grill and glasses! (Wow, even former self respected Daddy Pig so much that he didn't call it his "fatty chops" like he usually does with characters he doesn't like.) Daddy Pig is dumb as the rest of the family enter the kitchen and Peppa trolls it all with her comment. (By the way, when the family comes back to see Daddy Pig with the pancake on his kisser, it is 5:00 PM on the clock. We wasted one hour in literally two minutes! How these kids are not adults in this show at this point is...magic. Suzy Sheep said it in double speak, so it must be true.) I wouldn't say Daddy Pig is grumpy, he looks more confused and awkward. Mummy Pig is amused as she asks if Daddy Pig wants maple syrup, and Daddy Pig says "yes, please" after teasing going full-borne grumpyass. Mummy Pig puts the syrup on the pancake, Daddy Pig does get the last laugh by flipping the pancake with his nose and eating it in one bite. (Hey, that's called getting your babyface heat back! It won't be the last time either. We still haven't gone Swimming yet!) Daddy Pig loves it, everyone laughs as Peppa calls him silly; and that ends the episode at 4:30 approx. I am very disappointed that they didn't do the backsplash laugh here, that would have made this one complete. This episode was great, outside of some animation mistakes as it was a simple concept that made Daddy Pig look both like a chump and a champ within a minute or so of action. **** 1/2 (90%). (If they did the backsplash laugh, it's a perfect ***** without question and the first of the series. So close, show. So close.)

Babysitting: We continue on with episode #30 on the animation paper as we begin at the house on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as the car is pointing in the opposite direction. I was hoping the brakes were off and it went down the hill so it would teach these characters not to park on the steepest side of the hill, but alas. We zoom into Peppa's bedroom as the adults are in their formal gear as seen where Peppa and George were cosplaying them, so they have since been washed up. Peppa and George are in their pjs jumping up and down with their toys as the adults are going out for the evening and in comes Grandma and Grandpa Pig to babysit them for the night. Apparently; Mummy and Daddy drove them to the house since we don't see the grandparents' car. (Actually, this episode is suppose to be the follow up to Mummy Pig's Birthday! Sadly, they forgot to sparkle Mummy Pig's dress to match the previous episode! Also, they had to remind the audience of everyone and not mention the theater stuff. Hey, it's still much better continuity than The Adventures Of Teddy Ruxpin, which is suppose to be a serial show, but the continuity between episode arcs is shot so badly that it shows the episodic culture shining like a billion suns. It's a show where they cannot keep the continuity straight from shot to shot! Peppa Pig is an episodic show and doesn't pretend to be otherwise.) We meet and greet as the kids get into bed. Daddy Pig calls them his little piggies, which is a bit creepy in hindsight. Mummy Pig wants them to go asleep and both kids are selling it as the grandparents call them well behaved. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry; I just think that's so funny. The lights go out and the kids close their eyes. Mummy and Daddy go into their car and drive down the hill as the sitting room light is on and we zoom in as Grandpa and Grandma Pig are sitting in the sitting room enjoying a pizza. They think the kids are behaving nicely. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Cut to Peppa's bedroom and Peppa and George wake up and get out of bed less than two minutes in. (Which in Peppa Pig time is around 7:15 PM, or fifteen minutes in.)

Peppa flicks the light switch on and the two kids bounce the bouncy ball, which causes earthquakes for some reason. The bumping and shaking does not go without notice from the grandparents and they decide to go upstairs. (The narrator literally has to act like he cannot see this, despite the fact that the narrator is telling the story! I laughed and laughed and laughed some more.) We see Peppa playing the fairy princess again while George plays the fool; since Pedro Pony is not available at this time. (Oooo, that was one sick burn on that cowboy music thief!) George's ball throwing is still hilarious; although I can see Pedro doing it even funnier than George. (Although one of the bounces to his head did give me pause for ten seconds.) I see Peppa's ballet skills are improving; even though this episode aired before the first ballet lesson. Yeah; something tells me this episode was produced after Ballet Lesson; but aired before it. Episodic culture, everyone. The grandparents go up the stairs and the kids hear them; so they turn off the lights, throw their cosplaying items onto the floor and get back into bed, asleep. The grandparents open the door and they do not suspect a thing. I do love these mind games the kids play on parents, it really makes me laugh. The grandparents have no clue and go down the steps to the sitting room to watch some television about gardening a red rose, after thinking that the kids are really asleep. (The rose in question is an example of someone who didn't do the research: The narrator calls it a "kiftsgate" rose, but those roses clearly have white petals. This rose is clearly light purple so, I think it was supposed to be a Princess Anne Rose, but BS&P thought it might be a copyright issue.) Yeah; I'll bet. (The fact that Grandpa Pig is smiling during his promo tells me he's onto them and this is amusing to him.) Peppa Pig's background music is among the worst of pre-school shows, even though that's due to having very few pieces of music more than it's quality. I should note that the narrator is basically the same narrator as the show; but with a television sound added. Then we get some pruning tips on this rose as we pan over and there is George and Peppa with a look that reads: "Are you planning to kill us?" (That my friends is the money shot moment of Series One right there and I'm sad that I didn't love this show a lot sooner than I did...)

This is exactly why I love this show: I know this is not what the creators intended, but it still makes me laugh. Really; you expect me to believe that "cutting the head off" is not some poor, disturbing analogy to dismembering a human body?! How clueless do you have to be as a writer?! (Yeah, the writers will not be trying this spot ever again. Sad!) Grandma Pig is shocked to see this as the kids admit that they are not sleepy at all. The kids would like to watch television and Grandma Pig complies thinking that this will make them sleepy. Trust me; nothing on television for a kid can cure insomnia; much less, inabilities to sleep. The narrator comes on about yellow roses and I think this might be one of the few times I have heard the word horiculture used in a children's cartoon. I do see it in RPG's a lot though. (I think the color stylist is to blame for the bad rose colors because Icelandic roses are usually white in color. That yellow rose would be closer to a Golden Harmony Rose. Ironically, the purple rose shown earlier could be a pink version of an Icelandic rose. Why the narrator didn't just make this a Iceland roses theme gardening show is beyond me.) Peppa is bored and the yellow rose seens to be even more so. (I think "lobbing" is British for "drooping".) We play the "toss and wee" game and it is supposed to be one turn each; but that rule is broken within seconds. Apparently; it's been a long time since Grandpa Pig has been doing this because he actually comments on Peppa's weight, albeit in a lot more subtle way than when Peppa comments about Daddy Pig's weight. Grandpa Pig is tired and Grandma Pig has to break this up because goodness knows, Peppa has been thrown four times in this sequence and George has actually followed the rules. What a troll Peppa is?! But I repeat myself over and over again. Next up; tag Grandma Pig is it! In Britian, it's called "catch". We play tag for a while which mostly involves running around the sofa in a circular fashion and laughing. No one catches anyone as we head outside, and here comes the red car as it parks on the steepest side of the hill, again! Mummy is hoping that the little piggies are asleep as the adults go in and it's dark in the sitting room as the grandparents and kids are sitting on the sofa, snoring. The adults are amused by this and that ends the episode at 4:30 approx. I loved this episode in so many way and it's probably the best episode of series one at **** 3/4 (95%).

Ballet Lesson: Here is episode #31 on the animation paper as we head to the playgroup on the hill with lots of piano music playing in the background. In comes the roofless red car with Mummy Pig driving it and in the backseat is Peppa Pig. Once again; the car is parked on the steepest side of the hill. Mummy Pig and Peppa hop out as Peppa is dressed in a red bodysuit and white cloud trim around the midsection. Out comes from the school is Madame Gazelle wearing purple with the white trim. They are also wearing ballet shoes; because this is the show's answer to Angelica Ballerina. This might be interesting. Madame Gazelle is the ballet teacher and I betcha she won a trophy for that as a world champion ballet dancer. Here's a question: Was this episode the official debut of Madame Gazelle? Because they do the meet and greet as if Madame Gazelle had never saw Peppa until this very moment. Just an odd sequence there. (Especially, since this would be Gigi's third appearance on this show, and she already debuted at The Playgroup as Peppa's teacher. Odd.) Peppa's bowing is awkward to say the least. Gazelle is fine with it because it is her first lesson of ballet! Mummy Pig leaves as Peppa and Gazelle head into the school as we have Suzy Sheep, Rebecca Rabbit, Candy Cat, Danny Dog and Pedro Pony. Yes, men do like ballet folks; it's basically figure skating and ice dancing without a skating rink. The girls get different color outfits; but Pedro and Danny are in all white. Why? Why not?! Introductions galore with lots of hand clapping from Gazelle and the first lesson is a Demi-Plie. Okay; I'm no expert at ballet, but "demi" does mean "half" in French (Plie means "bent" in French.) and it makes sense since Gazelle apparently comes from France. (A "Demi-Plie" is a movement done in any of the five positions, in which the dancer bends the knees halfway, keeping the heels securely off the ground. It is a legit ballet dance move. I mention this because the Peppa Pig Wiki claims that Gigi Gazelle is speaking nonsensical words here. Whomever wrote that never bothered to do the research on what she actually said and assumed it was nonsensical. Demi-Plie is a legit ballet dance you bigoted scum!) Everyone does it awkwardly; except for Suzy Sheep for no reason.

Next lesson: the Pretty Jete. I think she meant "little jump"; only little was supposed to be in French, but it sounded like pretty and petit doesn't sound like that in French. (Jete actually means "throwing" or "thrown" in French. So, "little throwing", which makes little sense since the ballet move involves jumping.) Sometimes, these accents are not 100% clear. (It is petit-jete, but at least you assumed that it wasn't "Pretty-Jete".) Gazelle's jumps have grace and beauty; none of the kids have that part down. Peppa's grace is as graceful as a 3.4 on the Richter Scale. Danny Dog's grace and beauty is to do the splits at one point and Pedro's is graceful in that he not once acted like an idiot; which is a major plus for him I might add. This was a fun ballet lesson and it gets even more fun as Peppa and company try to be swans, struggling. (Apparently, muddy puddle jumping does not translate well into ballet as I discover here.) The arm movements are graceful; but the prancing on the tiptoes sucks. Candy Cat is the only one who comes remotely close to Madame Gazelle's footwork and even that sucked. Gazelle asks what noise a swan makes, the kids get it all wrong and dance around Madame Gazelle. This also sucked. There was no grace and beauty in this dance. I also protest the claim that everyone loves dancing; since there are lots of religious people who think this dancing is demonic. I think they are dumber than Daddy Pig ever was; but not everyone loves dancing. If ice was involved Sid Sixerio would blow at least three veins watching this. (Ummm, Sid Sixerio love ice dancing again after calling it corrupt. He's a funnier troll than Peppa Pig, methinks.) The bell rings outside and all the kids run out. Suzy Sheep, Mummy Rabbit and Mummy Pig are at the cars; none of them are pointing in the opposite direction, so I expect a logic break and magical flipping to take place during this sequence. Peppa and Mummy Pig meet and Gazelle claims that Peppa did very well for her first lesson. Well; she was as graceful as a shaking building, so that would account for something. Yes; the car is now pointing in the opposite direction despite Mummy Pig getting out of it when it was facing towards the building.

Does anyone in animation not notice this obvious logic break; or is this a running gag?! I'm starting to believe the later now. Peppa want to show her moves to Mummy Pig and Mummy Pig wants to go home first, so everyone sees it. Mummy Pig drives the car away as Peppa waves goodbye to Madame Gazelle. We jump cut to the house on the hill as the car shows up and parks on the steepest side of the hill, again! Mummy and Peppa go in through the back door to the sitting down where George and Daddy Pig are reading. Peppa greets them as she wants to show them her ballet moves, and is all cocky in thinking that George, Daddy and Mummy will find it difficult. Peppa pushes the red button on the stereo and we have piano music playing. Peppa talks about the silly words Gazelle uses. (Peppa stands no chance against the Jackass...ERRRR...I mean Donkey family. More so than even Daddy Pig!) She bends her knees; and Daddy Pig points out that it's the petit-jette and he says it better than Madame Gazelle! How about that? The troll just got trolled; because you see, Daddy and Mummy Pig used to be ballet dancers. (Daddy Pig knows ballet moves in French, but cannot read nor speak French without blushing! More to come...) Daddy and Mummy Pig do some ballet dancing for a while and they are so much better than even Madame Gazelle; minus the shaking, but DADDY'S BIG TUMMY~ what can you do?! (His favorite ballet dance is the "pas de deux", French for "step of two". Yes, another legit ballet dance move.) Sadly; Daddy Pig throws Mummy Pig into the air, Mummy does some graceful arm movements; but Daddy Pig fails to catch Mummy Pig much like Manu didn't catch Undertaker at Wrestlemania and Daddy Pig's tummy has been squashed. HAHA! George and Peppa giggle and clap, calling him silly. The adults decide to let Peppa play the beautiful swan and that ends the episode at 4:30 approx. I really hope she gets more lessons, her dancing needs a lot of work. Despite the dance moves not being good; they sucked in a hilariously fun way, instead of being just awful. Also, they are kids, so there's that and this is their first lesson, so there's that as well. Well, Peppa's first anyway. *** 1/2 (70%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; this was just another day in the Pig family. I love the Pancakes and Babysitting episodes because they both took a simple concept and really ham it up (pardon the pun) to where I was laughing with them. Both episodes could have been ***** episodes had the backsplash laugh occured or the writers had a clue about roses. Treasure Hunting was dull and boring as they killed the suspense by showing where the treasure was to the audience before the kids were suppose to see it. Cousin Chole was much better on the second airing due to the story of Chole only liking baby games when George is involved, but thinks a game with no win condition is not a grown up game, showing how insecure Peppa Pig was in the early seasons. Peppa needs character development badly and it probably won't happen until Harley Bird debuts in Series 3! The rest was the usual love in. I don't have much else to say outside of what I wrote. So...

Thumbs down for Treasue Hunting. Thumbs up for Cousin Chole, Pancakes and Babysitting. Thumbs in the middle for the rest and I'll see you all next time.

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