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Twenty Years Of Muddy Puddles: Peppa Pig Series Two #1 Rant

Reviewed: 03/12/2018
Additional Commentary/Edited: 07/08/2024

Emily Elephant and Richard Rabbit Draws Near! Everyone Draws Near!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Okay; so we head to Series two as we start the first eleven episodes of the second series as we make bubbles, mysteries, new friends, a scarecrow, and a time capsule; along with Teddy getting the spotlight, a windy fall day, discover rock pools, recycle a lot of stuff (including plots) and end the session at the boat pond. Yeah; welcome to the Cecily Bloom era of Peppa Pig. So; how do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley and Mark Baker; except for Polly's Holiday, which was written by Alison Snowden. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

(2024 Gregory Weagle Says: I might as well get this out of the way quickly as Cecily Bloom is voicing Peppa Pig here. Cecily's resume is this show and Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom as Lizzy and Luzzy Elf. I'm going to list the child characters and the voice talent changes from Series One to make things a lot easier for everyone:

[1.] Danny Dog Series 2 is unchanged in voice (George Woolford); but Series 3 is voiced by Jadon Mills until Series 5; who is then voiced by Josh Morris. Charlie Stewart voices Danny Dog from Series 6 and 7, followed by George Tompsett in Series 8. Jadon Mills has only Peppa Pig as it's only appearance. Josh is similar; but was Uncanny Valley in Tarot in 2016.

[2.] Pedro Pony Series 2 is unchanged in voice (Harrison Oldroyd); but Series 3/4 is voiced by Stanley Nickless and Series 5 is voiced by Rohal Soomro, and Robyn Elwell in series 6 onwards. There are two exceptions; "The Golden Boots and "Around The World With Peppa" were voiced by Sammy Price. Rohal's resume is this show only, Stanlet Nickless is this show and Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom as Barnaby Elf.

[3.] Candy Cat Series 2 is voiced by Emma Weston (Series One was Daisy Rudd who does additional voices with Hazel Rudd in Series 2), Series 3/4 is voiced by Zara Siddiqi and Madison Turner voiced Series 5. Tallulah Conabeare currently voices her from 2019 to present.

[4.] Suzy Sheep's Series 2-4 is unchanged (Meg Hall), Series 5 onward is voiced by Ava Lovell until Series 8, and then voiced byAmber Asmah-Bishop. Ava is Peppa Pig and the short Stomach as Monika's Daughter.

[5.] Rebecca Rabbit Series 2 is voiced by Bethan Lindsay (Series One was Hazel Rudd), Series 3/4 is voiced by Alice May (Who voices George in this show by the way; so no new tributes, although I should note that Zaza and Zuzu Zebra in Series 2-4 were also voiced by Alice May), and Series 5 is voiced by Arisha Couhdhury. Arisha voiced Peppa Pig, and Miffy's Adventures Big & Small in 2015. Bethan Lindsay only voiced in Peppa Pig.

[6.] Zoe Zebra Series 2-4 is voiced by Sian Taylor and Isla Gudgeon in Series 5. Georgia Coates voices Zoe in Series 6 while Tallulah Conabeare voices Zoe in Series 7 onwards.

[7.] Emily Elephant Series 2-4 is voiced by Julia Moss and Stara Bal in Series 5 onwards. Stara Bal only was in Peppa Pig. Julia appeared in Peppa Pig, Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom as Violet Fairy and was a young woman in Mozart In The Jungle in 2014.

[8.] George Pig is Alice May for all vocals, Oliver May for Series 1-5, then Vincent Van Hulzen for Series 6 & 7, and Kira Monteith for Series 8 onwards.)

Bubbles: We start with episode #53 on the animation paper, as we head to the house on the hill as we zoom inside the kitchen as the Pig family is enjoying orange soda while Daddy Pig reads the newspaper. Peppa and George sip their straws in the soda for a while, being as delightfully annoying as possible. Then they proceed to have a contest of blowing bubbles in the soda with a straw and this goes on for a long time as Daddy Pig calls them noisy piggies. (George forgets to puralize the word bubbles when he said bubble.) Apparently; this is bottomless soda since it never seems to run out when they drink it. (Well, they are blowing bubbles, thus cannot run out since they are not drinking anything.) Daddy Pig then scolds them for playing with their food. (Probably one of the few times Daddy Pig has ever done that, Mummy Pig is more of the scolder of the family. Peppa Pig clearly sounds different with a slightly higher pitch in the voice compared to Lily Snowden-Fine's voice. It's very obvious. It's also 9 AM on the clock.) Mummy Pig brings out the container of bubble mixture and Peppa takes it. (In North America, it is sometimes called a soap mixture.) Peppa is giddy about this and she and George run out of the house with their boots already on. (Suzy: It's magic! Daddy Pig: Yes.) If you cannot guess the final spot right now..you guessed it. (It's also the first episode of the new series with a new voice talent voicing the star of this show. Of course, anyone with a clue can figure the final spot now without any issues. This is for the new fans tuning in, although the North American crowd won't see this on Nick Jr. until Series 3 onwards anyway.) Peppa is demonstrating how to blow bubbles and George has that look of "You serious about this?!". (I should note that the bubble container contains a bubble dipper to blow bubbles with. How convenient, eh?!) Peppa blows a bubble and it pops. Yawn. It's George's turn and he does everything right, except he cannot blow the bubble because his lung capacity sucks. This is the same George who blew a paper boat across the duck pond and won the race in The Boat Pond. (I clearly wrote the review for that episode before seeing George blow a giant horn in Series One's episode: Musicial Instruments. Damn, that instrument killed George's lungs faster than R.J. Williams voicing Kit in TaleSpin!) The bubble bounces back into George's face, it pops and he sneezes before giggling. He was also blushing the entire time and Peppa blames the victim, I know, AGAIN! Sadly; George didn't cry this time.

Out comes the adults in their boots as Mummy Pig suggests dipping it and waving it to make bubbles; which George does with ease. Daddy Pig suggests the same thing; only run down the hill, which George does with ease. Peppa follows as George runs around in a disorganized fashion making bubbles while Peppa is popping them. Peppa does a loud snort because she loves this, and then the bubble mixture container is empty. George tosses it aside and bawls his eyes out, his first one of Series Two. (Complete with a decent toss of the container from George, too!) Peppa grabs the container as Peppa and George run up to inform Daddy Pig of the situation. Daddy Pig tells her not to worry because he has a solution: They'll make their own bubble mixture as the family is ordered to find a bucket, soap, and Daddy Pig's old tennis racket. Yeah, really bossy. Mummy Pig bails and returns with a bucket, Peppa bails and returns with the squeeze container of dishwasher soap and George bails and returns with Daddy's tennis racket. The narrator is the only one who acts like he's confused. Daddy fills the bucket with water from the out of nowhere faucet near the back door. Peppa squirts yellow soap into the bucket, turning the water lemon yellow -- to match the scent -- and George kindly gives the tennis racket to Daddy Pig. Daddy Pig dips the racket into the soap water and then proceeds to blow hard and that creates a big bubble. Everyone is in awe of this; I'm not. Then Daddy dips in more mixture, grabs the bucket and runs down the hill making bubbles. Mummy Pig is trying to tell him to look where he is going, but Daddy Pig is acting like an idiot and not looking where he is going. He then trips and falls onto his ass as the bucket mixture flies high into the air and the bucket falls on top of Daddy Pig and splashes the mixture completely onto the ground. The tennis racket disappears forever. (Suzy: It's...Me: Yeah, magic.) Everyone runs in to console him as it's hard to take Daddy Pig seriously, when the bucket looks like a Fez cap. (Wow, former self was really on the "bubble" here when it said that.) Daddy claims he's fine and then sneezes, which creates a really big bubble. That is not the biggest bubble ever blown since it has to be one hundred fifty cubic feet. This looks more like fifteen cubic feet at most. The bubble bursts within seconds as Daddy Pig checks the mixture and it's all gone now. Whatever shall they do?! I know (how they can get out of this); the mixture went into the ground and it created a giant muddy bubbly puddle. DING! Peppa jumps up and down in the muddy bubbly puddle as she notices the bubbles coming right out of it. Everyone loves jumping in muddy bubbly puddles to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Just your above average Peppa Pig love in. *** 1/2 (70%).

Emily Elephant : We continue on with episode #54 on the animation paper as we begin this one on the school on the hill as various cars drive in and let off the kids. Everyone is wearing color coded coats, so I guess it's fall as the kids run inside giggling. (This spot was designed for a spot later on and we almost never see them wear coats to Playgroup ever again after this.) They then proceed to put their coats on the hook board on the wall below the window. (There is an empty hook on the wall, which gives away the plot in advance, as if the title didn't give it away from the start.) The kids sit down on the floor in front of Madame Gazelle. (I should note that Zoe Zebra also makes her unofficial debut here despite not being formally introduced until Zoe Zebra: The Postman's Daughter later on in Series Two! Production/Airing in an episodic culture methinks.) Madame Gazelle addresses the students and introduces us to the official debut of Emily Elephant in a cheese colored coat. (I believe this is Madame Gazelle's fourth appearance on the show, and since the show is getting more and more BS&P notes, I suspect that she's really going to be present much more often from here on out.) Everyone greets her and she looks as awkward as awkward can be. She's shy, you see. Gazelle asks who wants to show Emily where to hang her coat and all the kids are bouncing up and down, wanting to show her where. However; they only need one and it has to be the star of the show: Peppa will have the honors, of course. This was done without fanfare nor incident. Gazelle asks Emily what she would like to do and after some thought, she decides on the building blocks as she goes to the building block table. (The other choices were painting and clay modelling.) All the kids then swarm in and sit down with Emily because they want to. This is rather unconfromtable; mostly for Emily as she has no idea what to make of this. Peppa is forcing the issue of building block design -- along with the other kids -- which the kids should never do on a first timer, especially with someone who is shy. They are just making her look more awkward and not letting Emily be Emily. (Yeah, this was not a good start to Emily Elephant's career and the kids are making it worse at this point.) Gazelle nicely tells them to stop helping Emily and let Emily be Emily. Emily stacks the blocks in a steep tower with the higher pieces she used her trunk, which surprises the kids. (Not only was using the trunk impressive, she stacked them perfectly in the order of number and alphabetical order as well. That's using your head there, Emily.) Then we head outside as the school bell rings and all the kids pop on cue and bail stage right. Except for Emily; because she's still shy at this point.

Gazelle asks if Emily wants to go outside and Emily awkwardly says yes. Gazelle recalls the children and asks them to bring Emily outside, they all comply and then everyone runs out of the school with their coat and boots on. Wait; they didn't carry boots when they went inside the first time. Stupid logic break! Of course; the only reason they broke logic and reason is because this episode has to end with everyone jumping up and down in muddy puddles. (DING! By the way, Emily has the fakest smile possible because she's trying to be happy and she's still too shy to be smiling geniunely.) Everyone runs down the hill and run around with Emily square in the middle and not sure what to do at this point. They are also making animal sounds and it's just like the narrator to give these kids ideas for game as we proceed to have a contest to see who has the loudest animal noise. Danny Dog and Peppa Pig are the only ones who come even close to being loud and Peppa destroys the competition because she's the star. (Which means Danny Dog lost again, like the plucky loser that he is saddled with now.) But, wait?! The kids would like Emily to have a go as she blushes and is not sure of herself. The kids insist and even say the word "please"; so that means Emily must do it. Then Emily actually does it by blowing her trunk so hard that all the kids backsplash onto the ground; causing the kids to sit up and be awed by this. Peppa wants Emily to do it again and this time Emily is confident as she blows her trunk and everyone does the backsplash and giggles seconds later. Then she does the backsplash laugh as she is no longer shy. Of course; they all have their boots on so Peppa introduces Emily to her favorite past time: Jumping up and down in muddy puddles. DING! (Why wasn't this the first episode of Series Two?! It's not like it would have made any difference since the final spot is the same.) That's Emily's favorite past time to, how convenient! Peppa breaks the ice, finding an out of nowhere muddy puddle to jump into as Emily follows her lead and Madame Gazelle (with boots) loves this games and joins in for fun. This is the best pre-school teacher ever! (Yeah, and the muddy puddle got twice bigger when Gigi joined in! Suzy: It's...you guessed it.) Oh; and the all the other kids jump up and down in muddy puddles for fun and giggles. Emily has clearly enjoyed this; so no need for Gazelle to ask her if she wants to come back. Gazelle does ask anyway and Emily loves her new friends as Peppa and company love their new friend back in unison. Emily loves them all as everyone does the backsplash laugh; and in a clear moment of laziness, they forget to add mud spray when they fall back into the muddy puddles. Emily does the backsplash laugh and blows her trunk in giggles to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Started really awkward; but the story got better once they got out into the playground and then the animation became faulty. *** 1/2 (70%).

Polly's Holiday: Moving right along with episode #55 on the animation paper and begins this one on the boring road in Grandpa Pig's Gedo fashion sense car with Grandma Pig, Grandpa Pig and Polly in it's cage, making it's first appearance since Peppa and George screwed the poor parrot's mind. (Series One, Episode #4, everyone) The grandparents are going on holiday and Peppa and George are going to look after Polly in the interm. Isn't this just daring for trouble at the poor parrots' expense?! (Yes, and I love it so sod off former self!) They make it to the western side of the property and park on the steepest side of the hill once again. (Apparently, the garden also has a back road that we never see, although the front road isn't any different. Okay, good to know.) Everyone gets out, including Grandpa Pig's suitcase. Oh wait; it's Polly's suitcase. I apologize. Grandma Pig shows Polly and we meet and greet. This is not going to end well for the grandparents, because I remember the first time Peppa and George interacted with Polly and Polly turned into such a cheeky, noisy parrot; instead of just a cheeky parrot. We head inside as Grandpa Pig and Grandma Pig put the cage and the luggage on the table in the sitting room in that order. Grandma Pig asks George what is in the luggage and George proclaims that it's chocolate cake as Polly's food. HAHA! That was a good one, George Pig! (Sadly, incorrect.) It's Rinzmo Bird Seed; with a more artistic logo on the box than the entire show's artwork. (Which I decided to check the Rinzmo name and it's an unique name that no one has a copyright to. Huh. The first entry on Google refers back to one of my Peppa Pig rants containing this very episode!) Peppa wants to help feed Polly and Grandpa is fine with that as long as she doesn't feed Polly too much. (BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Projection much there, Grandpa Pig?!) Oh; and Polly can come out of the cage as long as the doors and windows are locked to make sure that Polly doesn't fly away. They say their goodbyes and Polly sounds like it's saying that in a manner that Polly wants the grandparents to get lost. Peppa is once again trying to make Polly cut repeat promos as George pours out the bird seed into a bowl. I didn't know birds ate like dogs on this show. (This is the same George who tried to grow a dinosaur doll in the garden. A dog bowl is somewhat believable compared to that!)

Peppa then blows George off for pouring all the bird seed into the bowl proclaiming that Polly would get so big that Polly will burst like a balloon. Geez; why hasn't that happened to Daddy Pig yet?! POW! OUCH ! Ummm...I'm saying that I think Peppa is full of it here. (I would trust Peppa Pig feeding Polly long before I would trust the grandparents feeding Goldie The Goldfish. More on that in the Harley Bird era of Peppa Pig.) Polly repeats that same sentence -- not my question about Daddy Pig's big tummy, sadly -- and everyone except Polly does the backsplash laugh. HA! Then the ice cream bicycle jingle plays and everyone runs out of the house and of course, George forgets to close the door and out comes Polly who in turn, flies away. (Yup, this is George's fault since he was the last person to leave the house. Sorry, George; got to call it the way I see it.) In comes Miss Rabbit on her ice cream trolly bicycle. (I believe her 13th job on the show and I might not be hyperboling it at this point.) We meet and greet as they get four ice cream cones for free because we never see them paying for them. Maybe they won four free ice cream cones at some raffle we never saw in one of the episodes. (This always bothers me because all this does is unintentionally teach children shoplifting. If they get something, show them paying for it or explain that they either won them or Miss Rabbit is willing to give it for free today on her own terms.)The kids' faces are a mess as Peppa scolds George for leaving the back door open; but Daddy Pig insists that Polly has not flew the coop even though we clearly saw Polly flew the coop. They go inside, and Polly is missing in action. Of course! Polly is not here according to Peppa; Daddy says "oh" and George, realizing that he's to blame for this, bawls his eyes out. (That is some foresight on George's part because he was the last person to leave the house and thus by rule should have closed the damn door.) Peppa claims that they have lost Polly and the grandparents will be very sad. I think sad is the least your worries Peppa, more like cross at you. It's one thing to mess with Polly's mind in Series one; but losing Polly is much, much worse. (Yeah, Polly might get hit by someone's car and die, or worse; bang into a window and die that way. This is much more serious.) Mummy Pig believes that they should check the garden first, and they go out and notice Polly is on a tree branch. Oh, come on now! (Just like that! Polly's smarter than your average Pig let me tell you all!) Mummy clearly saw Polly there before she got into the house and said nothing about it. That was cheeky.

Peppa wonders how they are going to get Polly down and Daddy Pig literally lets Mummy Pig hold his ice cream cone as he is going the climb the tree like a stupid idiot. (Yes, he has not learned ANYTHING from The Kite episode! Daddy Pig is dumb! Worse, there is no muddy puddle to cushion his fall and Daddy Pig is no professional wrestler either!) Daddy Pig thinks Polly is his; and Polly repeats his "cup of tea" promo and flies over to the opposite tree branch, so this means Daddy Pig has to climb below the branch. Peppa -- the troll that she is -- just has to tell him not to fall out of the tree like he always does. This will not end well for Daddy Pig as Polly is screaming "bird seed". George sees this as "atoning for past sins" and runs into the house. (Remember, he's the one who didn't close the door on the way out since George was the last person to leave said house.) He then returns with the bowl of bird seed and puts it down in front of the tree; this causes Polly to swoop down and eat the bird seed making Daddy Pig look dumb once again! (Why did you give this ** 1/2, former self?!) It sounds like the background music was in an area with lots of flies are present. There we hear Daddy Pig's cell phone ring -- called a mobile phone by the narrator -- and Daddy Pig is so scared of it that he lets go and falls onto the ground. Somehow, this did not break his back. (Yes, Daddy Pig totally no sold the bump at all. I howled with laughter.) Daddy Pig answers his phone and it's Grandma Pig on holiday with Grandpa Pig on a table in the middle of the beach. What?! You were expecting something more romantic than is?! Come on; why not this way?! It's much more compelling than the usual stereotypes. Grandma Pig wants to speak to Polly on the phone, Polly repeats the same question Grandma Pig asked and this causes the most painful backsplash laugh attempt ever by the grandparents as Polly does the backsplash laugh. (Grandpa Pig basically tried to do the backsplash laugh on the umbrella pole. I cried with laughter seeing that the second time around.) Then the rest of the family joins in to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Daddy Pig is still dumb as usual; but Polly is a clever parrot once again, as usual. This was a fine episode; but it's still really stupid. (What?! This episode was great outside of the stupid "don't pay for it" spot, as George atoned for his dumb decision to not close the door, Daddy Pig no selling falling out of a tree and the ending. This was *** 3/4 (75%).)

Teddy's Day Out: Here is episode #56 on the animation paper as we begin this one on the house on the hill with the car facing downhill. We zoom into the kitchen as the picnic basket is on the table; so they are going on a picnic again. (Uh-oh! This means another episode where Mrs. Duck could get fed bread.) The kids are taking their favorite toys as Mummy Pig tells them to look after the toys. Peppa obeys and then the two kids forget to take their toys outside and everyone gets into the car. First; Daddy Pig teases driving the car down the hill; when George suddenly says "dinesaur" and bawls his eyes out. Considering that we never saw them bring out the toys, I assume that this was a troll move on George's part. Daddy Pig goes back into the house and comes out with Mr. Dinesaur and tells George to not lose it again. Daddy Pig then asks if they have everything, everyone says yes. Daddy Pig teases driving down the hill and Peppa then yells that she forgot Teddy. Of course! Considering we never saw the kids take their toys out the first time, I suggest this is a troll move on Peppa's part. (Yeah, these two kids need to be told not to do that again. George sort of gets it with his toy, Peppa Pig with Teddy...HAAAAAAA~!) It's on the kitchen table of course as Daddy Pig bails and Mummy Pig scolds. Daddy Pig come back with Teddy and gives it to Peppa as we get back in the car. Thankfully, Daddy Pig just drives down the hill and we jump cut to the picnic area somewhere in a deep forest with a yellow recycling can. The car stops and everyone gets out as Daddy Pig calls it so peaceful. (Don't say "peace" Daddy, you are only inviting death at this point.) Three seconds later we hear the clown horn blaring and it's Mr. Zebra with Zoe Zebra in the yellow post van. (Yes, this is the second appearance of Mr. Zebra and Zoe Zebra and neither one has been formally introduced in storyline. Episodic nature much there, show?!) Question: Are you allowed to use postal properly when you are off-duty in Great Britian? Because this sounds like law breaking to me. (Apparently, a postal truck can be allowed off-duty and post officers do have the right to arrest you for crimes since they can also enforce laws. At least in Great Britian. They can also ignore local laws, too.) Yes; they are having a picnic and the Pig family must learn to share the spot now. We meet and greet as this is Mr. Zebra's day off and I should note that Zoe neighs, only it sounds different from Pedro Pony's. They all go to the table and have one big picnic of eating and drinking.

Peppa asks if she and George can take their leave to play with Zoe and Mummy Pig says yes; and the kids all bail with their toys as Zoe has her plush monkey and a straw luggage case. (Her plush monkey was so over that it was the star in "Monkey Has A Cough" featuring the worst Smurfette crying impression I have ever heard in a cartoon.) I discover that inside the luggage is a picnic play set, so we cosplay the toys having a picnic. Even in a fake cosplay picnic setting, the ducks have to arrive for their feeding of fake food not approved for their consumpation. It's all very nice (and very evil), so says Zoe and the ducks are like "screw this!" and walk off, and even the narrator is telling us that the ducks no sold all this. This is good because at least they didn't feed them real food since that would cause moral guardians hate flares to flare up. Nothing good comes out of that. (Yeah, something about a white duck who was a yellow duck stealing fake "Golden Boots" and leading to killing Peppa's star power and having a gift shop on the moon. Or something.) They cosplay for a while, I need to eat this pretend cake and see if it's any better than the real thing. (Narrator: It is not better than the real thing.) Mummy calls for the kids to come back to the car; both of them say farewell to Zoe and George bails with Teddy and Peppa bails without Teddy. Get use to this; Peppa doesn't seen to care about that rugged infested teddy bear as much as she claims to. The Pig family gets into the care and drives stage left. Mr. Zebra comes over to Zoe as it's home time for her. Zoe inspects her things and notices that Peppa has forgotten Teddy...AGAIN! (Get use to this, fools! It's one of the worse aspects of Peppa Pig.) We head back to the house on the hill as Daddy Pig for once parks on the flat top of the hill this time and has had enough driving for one day. He wants to put his feet up and watch some tele...and Peppa pipes up about Teddy right there. Mummy is not pleased with this because Daddy Pig has to drive back to find it again and Daddy Pig doesn't look too keen on that. Thankfully; here comes the post van with Mr. Zebra and Zoe. Mr. Zebra is not wearing his post hat; but Zoe is. Is that legal in Britian? Zoe gives Peppa a parcel, Peppa opens it to reveal Teddy. Peppa is happy as Mummy Pig tells her to take better care of her things and Peppa blames TEDDY for wandering off. This is like blaming God for everything. Stupid! (If God is defined as a homo sapien who rejects reality, than...Yes, you can blame them for everything! Accept reality, you worms!) Peppa cosplays Teddy apologizing and they all do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. The cosplay at the end was amusing, but Peppa has not learned anything and it shows in future episodes. It's time for Teddy to be free from the tynant known as Peppa because this relationship is not good. ** (40%).

Mysteries: Okay; here is episode #57 on the animation paper as we head to the house on the hill as we head inside the living room with the Pig family watching their favorite television programme: Detective Potato. (Notice the pacing is slowly becoming faster as time goes on? It's going to get faster once they start Series Three for real and they start stuffing in spots to keep the kids entertained.) I should address this now; the narrator pronounces it as "program" like North Americans do; but spells it as "programme". If it is spelt that way; shouldn't it be pronounced as "program-me"? Why is the "-me" part silent? If it is silent, why not just not spell it "programme"; but "program"? It's not like "armor" and "armour" or even "thingy" and "thingie" where the spelling change doesn't effect the pronouncation of the word. This sounds like someone who just wanted to be a piss ant and annoy people. (Considering English basically takes other languages and beat them senseless, this sounds more accurate than you would like to admit, former self.) I believe this is Mr. Potatos' official debut as Detective Potato. (No, it's not. This is I believe his fourth appearance on the show since he debuted in Mr. Dinosaur Is Lost, literally the second episode of this show. I do believe this is his debut in a speaking role (John Sparkes is the voice) and we won't be seeing him in person for a long while to come.) Mr. Potato is on television with his magifying glass and hat cutting a promo about himself. Everyone is in awe of this as a woman potato with a daisy on top of her head as she is complaining because she cannot find the daisy on her head. (Morwenna Banks voices her and her full name is Mademoiselle Potato, so she's apparently from France and is at least a lover to Mr. Potato in storyline. She also appeared four times so far on this show as well.) This is on par with Patrick Star not being able to see his forehead in Spongebob SquarePants. (Yeah, not a good look, show.) Mr. Potato finds it within three seconds and the woman potato is so happy to find it. I don't get why MRA's think this show has no smart men; other than the MRA's are sexist toxinbags. (Wonder how many of them were inspired by John Enter?!) Peppa thinks this is easy and George has that blank stare that reads: "Oh, here we go again!". Peppa wants to be a famous detective. (She manages to pronounce it properly here, but she's going to be forgetting pronouncing properly left and right in Peppa Pig Tales! Especially, with the word "arrest".)

Daddy Pig walks out of the room with the kids following because the first step of being a detective is wearing two hats that are so big; and yet somehow manage to fit on George and Peppa's heads without drooping down into their eyes. Peppa wants one of those funniest things that makes everything look big; which is a mangifying glass, according to Mummy Pig. (One of the hardest words I had to learn as an adult. It was so hard that for a while in my rants, I kept calling it a "magic lens". Like a "magic mirror".) We head into the kitchen and Mummy Pig goes through the drawers (NOT THOSE ONES~!) and finds the magnifying glass after a hearty snort. Peppa is in awe as Mummy Pig demonstrates how it works by showing how big Goldie is in the conveniently placed fishbowl on the counter. (Wonder if one of the adults used to use it to fry ant?! Which one?! That's a mystery even I don't know.) Peppa decides to test the thing by making George's eyes look big. They all giggle, none of means anything because Daddy Pig proclaims that they need a mystery to solve. Peppa calls it a "miss-story"; so she's not much better in pronouncation than George is. (In the mainline series, she's okay. In Peppa Pig Tales, oh lord...) Daddy explains what a mystery is in terms of losing something. It's much more than that, but whatever. (True, but you got to start somewhere in order to learn further.) Peppa's hypocrisy is on full display when she claims that Mr. Dinesaur is always lost despite many instances when Teddy is lost, which occured in the last episode! (Mr. Dinesaur (sic) has been lost a total of once so far in this series. Teddy has been lost exactly...once. Yeah, Peppa's a hypocritical troll. As usual.) George brings out Mr. Dinesaur to prove Peppa wrong. (Yeah, that's a heart "Nuts To You" to Peppa there by George.) Peppa then tries Daddy's glasses, but not today since they are not lost either. (The narrator is slowly becoming the cheeky narrator I know and love. Also, Daddy lost his glasses exactly once in this series. Peppa hates numbers I see.) Peppa calls this not fair because there are no "miss-stories". Maybe you should write some "miss-stories" instead, then you can make stuff up and only have to worry about readers who don't like what you write because you make no sense. Kind of me writing fanficition on TaleSpin. (Hey, I just found the perfect gimmick for Suzy Sheep. To the creators: You can have that one for free. I write these rants as a hobby, not for a pay cheque.)

Daddy Pig offers to make a mystery for them as we jump cut to Daddy Pig puts a jack-in-the-box, Mr. Dinesaur, Goldie and Teddy. It's also 4 o'clock right now. Strangely; Peppa doesn't call the fish "Goldie" at this point of the storyline. (That was weird since we have seen Goldie The Goldfish several times in Series One already.) Peppa has to remember the four objects and then once she gets the go-ahead, everyone except Daddy Pig leaves the house. Daddy locks the door so he can hide one of the four objects inside Peppa's bedroom. Thus after some running up and down the stairs by Daddy Pig, he finally opens the door and everyone else can come into the kitchen. It's clear that Teddy is missing from the table. Also, it still took Peppa a few seconds before she got it that Teddy is missing. Fitting since it's usually the thing that keeps getting missing all the time on this show. (Get used to this angle, fools.) Peppa is proud and proclaims that this is easy; but Daddy Pig reminds her that this is only half the "miss-story". The next half is finding Teddy and that Peppa Pig doesn't know. (Even though she heard Daddy Pig going up and down the stairs. That in detective work is a clue.) Then we discover that Daddy Pig left a pile of cake crumbs onto the floor leading upstairs. So, that's why he needed the chocolate cake in Series One! (Shopping, everyone.) Naughty, Daddy Pig! He even blames Teddy for eating the cake! Cheeky bastard! (Okay, I howled when I read those last four lines from former self.) Peppa and George follow the crumbs upstairs into Peppa's room. Peppa asks how they can find Teddy now and Daddy tells her to ask some questions. But he only answers in a yes or no fashion. Not a good idea in the real world in most cases; but this thing is set up where it can be accepted as such so there you go. We ask questions for a while as Teddy is in Peppa's bed clear as day. It takes three questions to solve the case as Peppa giggles and finds Teddy. Yeah, that is that and Peppa swears off detective work and just wants to make stuff up. Of course! Everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. At least Daddy Pig was to blame for missing Teddy, unlike all the other times when Peppa was being the idiot. This was a perfectly fine episode. *** (60%).

George's Friend: Here is episode #58 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the playground with Mr. Zebra pushing Zoe on the swing, Candy Cat is on the tire swing frame, Pedro is on the slide (no pun intended) along with Emily and Peppa, Danny and Suzy are going to be on the roundabout. George is at the sandpit with Mummy Pig. Daddy Pig swings the roundabout faster and faster with the kids and then we jump cut to Mummy Pig swinging George on a swing. Wait, what?! Now; forget that George is afraid of heights, because he was only so because Peppa pushed him way too high like a troll. That's not the logic break. The logic break is that Zoe was on the swing with Mr. Zebra swinging the swing. This makes no sense. Rebecca and Richard Rabbit (with his red Mr. Triceratops) open the gate and head in. (Richard Rabbit is voiced by Zoe Baker from Series 2-5, Rohan Boucher in Series 6 and Fin Templer in Series 7 onwards. Yup, this is Richard Rabbit's debut and he's basically a rabbit version of George is almost every single way.) Mummy Rabbit comes in; and then suddenly disappears during the meet and greet. (Another episode where I had to change "Miss" to "Mummy" since Mummy Rabbit is the stay at home sister of the family.) Rebecca wants to swing on the roundabout and Daddy Pig has no problems with that as Rebecca is now on the roundabout. Richard wants in; but the big kids complain because that means that they cannot go fast because Richard will bawl his eyes out. Or something. (Considering Richard and George are clones of each other, this was to be expected and you would think they would get along...) Richard must play with George, which Richard no sells. Yes; he says "no" in the same way George does. Oh; and Mummy Rabbit is back before anyone thinks she was written out by teleport. Mummy Rabbit carries Richard over to Mummy Pig where George is standing in front and we meet and greet with dinosaurs. But these little ones hating sharing their dinosaurs. (The toddlers are fine with playing with each other, they just don't want to share their dinosaur toys. Just let them play and let them decide if they want to share.) The adults force the issue to make them share their toys while believing that this actually works, the cocky fools that they are! (Mummy Pig took George's toy and gave it to Richard while Mummy Rabbit claims George was being nice and did it himself. That my friends is gaslighting! Sod off, both you mummies!) Both kids bawl their eyes out. I'm all for sharing; but this don't instills the value that sharing is a good thing. Instead, it instills into the toddlers that it is a value that must be done at all times and that only causes resentment. It's like making volunteerism mandatory, for Peppa sakes! (Yeah, it's basically indentured servitude! Bad idea! Bad! Bad! Bad!) In comes Rebecca Rabbit, Peppa and Daddy Pig; as Daddy Pig asks what is going on. Bad parenting, that's what is going on, Daddy Pig! Peppa proclaims that they always do this and Rebecca claims that they are unable to play properly. Maybe if you stopped FORCING THEM to play properly to your STUPID STANDARDS, maybe they would get along.

Peppa and Rebecca suggest doing some sandcastles to help them play properly; which is only going to cause more resentment from the little ones. Lots of short snorts and squeaks later, we head to the sandpit. Peppa and Rebecca demonstrate to George and Richard the fine art of making a sandcastle in the sandpit, complete with calm twinkle music. George and Richard do the tapping and pull up as George says "pesto" as usual. Daddy Pig then proclaims that playing together is fun and this is proof. Oh, really; Daddy Pig?! George -- with the proudest smile ever -- takes the shovel and destroys the sandcastle! Richard looks into the hard camera for a split second before he cries. Despite the stupid lesson of this show; the George/Richard interactions are awesome. These two manage to hate each other without showing actual signs of hate. (Again, they don't hate each other, they just hate this goddamn lesson because they know it's BS!) They bawl in unison as the narrator claims that this game has not gone very well. Twenty million viewers might dispute that, Mr. Obvious Narrator. Then, Peppa and Rebecca start blaming each other for the toddlers not getting the lesson! AWESOME! I have now gone from anger and frustration to giggling mirth now. This was great! (I love this: The toddlers are literally schooling everyone for their abusive ways and making them look like complete fools and it was great! By the way, I believe this is the most bawling in one episode (eight times, four by George and four by Richard) until Edmond Elephant's birthday, which set the record for most bawling in one episode!) Daddy Pig breaks it up and I want to have some steam hams with Daddy Pig, wink, wink, nudge, nudge! Oh; and Daddy Pig ain't eating those hams either. Peppa and Rebecca claim that George and Richard cannot play properly, which is ironic considering that these two cannot teach them properly. But Mummy Pig can as she asks George his favorite part of the playground. George proclaims that he loves the see-saw. We head to the see-saw as Mummy Pig and George walk in. George is put on the see-saw and George comes down; but cannot get up and almost teases crying again. In comes Richard and Miss Rabbit as Miss Rabbit puts Richard on the opposite end of the see-saw and the little ones play on the see-saw with glee as their bitter feud has come to an end; because Mummy Pig allowed the little ones to choose their play things and not the big ones who thought they were smarter than the little ones. (The see-saw is a perfect device to teach sharing: Since both kids are needed to make the thing work. AWESOME!) Everyone comes in as we get shots of the little ones enjoying themselves and then everyone sings the See-Saw song, which is also pretty good to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Again; this started off really stupid; but the Richard/George feud was glorious until they just gave up. Call it *** 1/2 (70%). (This was I believe the first ending credits to use a completely different song than the usual song!)

Mr. Scarecrow: Here is episode #59 on the animation paper as we begin this one on the white house on the hill with Grandpa Pig's garden as the red car arrives with the Pig family inside. Daddy Pig parks on the steepest side of the hill...AGAIN! Daddy honks the horn and out of the house is Grandma Pig as everyone gets out. Peppa and George run down the hill giggling and snorting as we head to the garden to some soily patch of soil with Grandpa Pig standing on it, holding a box of red daisy seeds. George is still calling him "Papa Ig" at this point during the meet and greet. (George, it's Papa Pig or Grandpa Pig, okay?) Grandpa Pig declares that he is making a flower garden; because...Oh; I'm not going to do that joke. (What joke former self?! I don't see...oh, you mean he's burying a dead body in the garden. Damn, that Babysitting episode really gaslit you didn't it former self.) Grandpa puts the seeds on the soil without burying them and then goes to the left to get his shovel. Literally one second later, all the seeds are gone and there's no evidence of someone even stealing them. Are you sure those seeds didn't simply sink into the earth and weighed more than the soil; Grandpa?! So, everyone is confused as Grandpa REPEATS THE SPOT. Never repeat a spot, it makes you a jobber for life. As he's doing this we see the real thief: a brown bird. (How the birds were able to steal the seeds the first time without hearing their wings flapping...Okay, Suzy; it's magic. I move on.) The brown bird eats the seeds and is exposed by Grandpa Pig as he gets his shovel protesting this outrage, but the brown bird escaped. Peppa pretty much says it all as two more birds steal more flower seeds. Someone needs to call the producers of this seed and make it in a way that it isn't palatable to birds, in the same way antifreeze no longer tastes sweet anymore. (Ah, someone was watching Forensic Files before writing this episode rant I see.) Grandpa Pig yells at the birds as they flee into a conveniently placed tree in the background. Grandma Pig walks in, who wants answers to this outrage. Grandpa Pig looks like he is pouting when explaining the situation and Grandma Pig proclaims that this will not work as the three brown birds are eating flower seeds again, which apparently several of them magically appear again. (The logic is not good in this one either, as there are supposed to be four brown birds in the tree.) They need a scarecrow; which is a strawman whom scares birds and becomes an unfortune victim of bad arguments and logical fallices. Okay; I made that last one up. (It might be made up, but it's not wrong, former self.) Grandpa Pig decides to make one. Everyone bails, including Peppa once she waves goodbye to the birds as if she likes them and gives away the plan. (Yeah, Peppa is the biggest dummy in the biz; and she's the star.)

We head to Grandpa Pig's shed near a tree on a small hill. We head inside and it looks like any garden you ever saw as Grandpa Pig wants two large sticks and string. There are no sticks in the shed; but there is a ball of yarn in a picnic basket. Peppa and George offer to find them. Next shot; we head outside and Peppa had two large sticks and George has the ball of yarn. Wait; what?! There were no sticks in the shed. An obvious logic break and no one noticed?! Grandpa Pig comes out and ties the sticks together in the form of a cross. (Thank you, you Christian pieces of shit for making the scarecrow a problematic symbol of torture to praise your torture god. Hell is too kind to you.) Also; Grandma Pig comes out with a yellow sack and straw, which we didn't see in the shed either. Continuity?! What's that?! Also; the blue duffel bag of old clothes was also not in the shed either when we first saw it. Grandpa makes the head from the straw and puts the sack on the top of the cross. George opens the bag and brings out a flowery dress. Now; I would love to put that as the scarecrows' costume; just to see if the birds flee from it and prove if they are sexists or not. (Or homophobes.) Peppa rejects it claiming that Mr. Scarecrow doesn't want to wear a dress. How do you know, Peppa?! Bigot. The scarecrow has to wear a green coat with a hat on top of the head. Now it's time to make the face and there is an out of nowhere cans of red and black paint behind Grandpa. Only the red paint was in the shed; so only two things in the entire shed were in fact in the shed. I love that the paint brushes are art brushes instead of painting brushes. George and Peppa paint the most unscariest face on the scarecrow. It looks like an awkward blank stare and this is somehow enough for the brown birds to stay far away from the flower bed and stay on the tree! (Wow, I didn't that stare was a death stare?! Maybe I should cover my eyes when I see that face again.) Apparently; there were FIVE birds in the flowerbed and when we go to the tree; there are now EIGHT birds. Continuity?! What continuity?! The family cheers in victory; but Peppa is now sad because the birds will never have anything to eat and die. But; wait?! Grandma Pig will save the day as she brings out the bird feeder and asks for it to be filled with flower seeds. Grandpa Pig sells and pours flower seeds into the bird feeder; and puts it on the tree branch. The birds tease and peck at the seeds as Peppa pops for this moment while Grandpa Pig pours seeds onto the flower bed. Everyone laughs as the narrator says it all to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was a mess; but still fun enough. ** 1/2 (50%).

Windy Autumn Day: Next up is episode #60 on the animation paper and head to the house on the hill with the car pointing towards the east. The entire pig family comes out and they all shiver with cold. HAHA! (The windy sound effect clearly gave this away, but the music overwhelmed it sadly.) The narrator explains that Peppa is headed to the park after they run back into the house and come out in their winter clothes. (If this were summer in Nova Scotia, yeah; but it's fall, so yeah. Also, the narrator doesn't mention gloves despite all the family members wearing them.) That seems a bit of an overkill to me. Everyone but Daddy Pig gets into the car; since Daddy Pig has to manually put the roof up. Mummy Pig pushes a button to put the heater on. Is it really fall or winter in this story? I don't know now. Daddy Pig gets in as he asks if anyone is warm. If I was in the car; I would overheat at this point. (I'm surprised Daddy Pig isn't a steamed ham by now.) Daddy drives the car down the hill and we instantly have a whiplashing jump cut in the hills where the park is as there is a lot of trees with leaves changing colors as Daddy and Peppa point out. They did not explain why even in the simplest terms; because it was probably too complex and Edmond Elephant is not around at this point of the storyline. (Edmond Elephant I think debuted during the Harley Bird era, Series three.) The closest they come is to say that it happen when it get colder. Everyone gets out as Daddy Pig has the bouncy spotted white ball and they walk into the colored forest. Then it gets windy and I'm thinking that this show takes place in the Porters Lake area of Nova Scotia. (That wouldn't be too far off base since there is a Porters Lake in the UK in Fakenham.) The leaves whip around as Daddy Pig kicks the ball and the kids chase it down a hill and the ball stops in front of Peppa. Peppa kicks the ball and the ball goes forward about five yards tops; and then whooshes back past Peppa and splashes into the duck pond with the three ducks quacking in protest. Peppa sums this up nicely, too. HAHA! Now; we all know what is going to happen next now, do you?! If not: Daddy Pig is going to try to bring the ball back to him using a stick and this is the signal for Daddy Pig to fall over and splash into the duck pond as the wind simply blows it out of the pond. HAHA! Daddy Pig is dumb and cold and wet. Lucky indeed; for everyone involved in making and watching this. (At least it was the wind screwing him instead of Daddy Pig just being dumb here. Don't mess with the wind, unless you are Kit Cloudkicker.)The wind gets more violent and it's time to hold onto the hats. George has the ball in his hands and cannot hold on. George's hat flies away and he bawls his eyes out on cue. He literally looked towards the hard camera before this, so it was clearly intentional. That was funny. (Poor George, he did nothing wrong and the winds screws him over. This is not funny, this is sad.)

Daddy Pig now has the task of getting back the damn hat and he runs out of the pond in the slowest fashion possible. This is no contest as the hat sticks to the branch of the tree; which means Daddy Pig has to climb the tree and nearly kill himself again for our sadistic pleasure. Mummy Pig thankfully cuts him off before any more damage can be done to Daddy's reputation. (What damage?! He no sold the bump back in Polly's Holiday for Peppa's sakes!) Mummy Pig decides to shake the tree instead. (Considering how weak the tree looks, not a bad idea.) First time; nothing...AND THE ROCKS SAYS NOTHING~! Mummy Pig tries again and the leaves literally bury her which shocks everyone. And they say Mummy Pig never gets mocked in this show?! Absurd! (Yeah, these bigots are such assgods!) George's hat falls on Mummy Pig's hat as everyone laughs at Mummy Pig and she blows it off. I think this is the first time Daddy Pig brings up the line that this sort of thing only happened to him. At least it's not Blackberry Bush where you almost landed on your head and then got taunted with Sleeping Beauty reference; so this was in fact funny. (Yup, this was your idea Mummy Pig, so you had that one coming!) Peppa directly calls it a bit funny and Mummy Pig relents. It's not a bit funny; it's actually is funny. You underestimate this humor, Peppa. They find George's hat and Mummy Pig puts it back on George's head. (You no sold this: It was literally on Mummy Pig's orange hat! That's even funnier.) George holds onto it and smirks as the wind becomes more violent and despite that, no one else loses their hats despite not holding it for the remainder of the episode. How convenient, eh?! We lean into the wind for a long ass whomping time as Daddy no sells because he's heavy, so even he is admitting that he's too fat. Peppa insists on this and Daddy Pig relents as the narrator points out the obvious. Mummy Pig has the ball and Daddy Pig is asking Mummy to join in. Mummy no sells because she might fall over because the wind will stop. Daddy Pig proclaims that this will NEVER happen and then the wind stops as per the narrator's promo and all three piggies fall backwards into the leaves. HAHA! Mummy Pig laughs and Daddy Pig blows it off as not funny. Riiiigggghhhtttt, Daddy Pig. (I already told you piggies not to mess with the wind, so that's all your faults! At least Mummy Pig understands that!) It was a bit funny and you will relent just like Mummy Pig anyway. Peppa and George get up as Peppa asks what to do next and Daddy Pig proclaims that it's their favorite past time...time! Peppa is not sure of this because there are no muddy puddles to jump up and down in. But wait; there is hundreds of leaves, so let's jump in them! Why not?! They jump up and down in leaves; causing earthquakes again as Peppa calls this the best autumn day ever. Of course! Cue backsplash laugh and that is that at 4:30 approx. This was a very good episode involving a lot of fun with leaves. *** 3/4 (75%).

The Time Capsule: Here is episode #61 on the animation paper as we head to the school on the hill and zoom inside. (Complete with the same music they used in Mister Skinnylegs!) Madame Gazelle is standing while Peppa, Suzy, Candy, Danny, Zoe, Pedro, Rebecca and Emily are sitting down. (This is officially the second appearance for Emily Elephant and this is Zoe Zebra third appearance on the show and she hasn't even been introduced! Damn, and I thought Penny Polar Bear's career was ignored?!) There is a metal capsule in front of Gazelle as she proclaims that today's playgroup involves creating a time capsule. Gazelle and Peppa pronounce it as cap-soul; instead of cap-sil by the way as a time capsule is something that shows the people of the future how we lived in the past. So, the idea is to put old stuff in it and bury it in the garden, to which Suzy asks: "Will it grow?". I died and the children giggled on cue while Suzy looked completely clueless. (I howled with laughter when Suzy said that. Suzy is so literal that she has zero clue what she thinks.) Gazelle corrects her as everyone has something to put in the time capsule: comics, stamps, a coin, a rocket ship, a music CD, and a carrot. One guess who suggests this and one guess that the kid blushed. (By the way, it's 4 PM on the clock, so it's getting close to home time...) Emily and Candy gave nothing to this capsule as everyone giggles again. Gazelle is fine with all this as Peppa asks what will life be like in the future and Gazelle asks the question back to Peppa. Then we HIT THE DREAM SEQUENCE~! Peppa's dream: I watched the Golden Boots and now I realize that what happened in that special was in fact a wet dream of Peppa's: Living on the moon. At least in this wet dream, everyone is wearing goofy spacesuits that look like their sports outfits, only with planet crosses on their belly buttons. Emily doesn't show up in her dream, but George and Richard do. In other words, in her dreams, Emily doesn't exist. (Wow, what a bigot.) Somehow, Danny Dog is in Peppa's wet dream riding a space rocket around the moon and we return to reality. (Are you kidding me, you clever clogs?!) Danny is running around the playgroup kids in a circle with the rocket and somehow, Emily is involved despite not being seen in the dream.

Gazelle brings out an out of nowhere movie camera -- the same one Daddy Pig got in Series One -- and films the kids cutting promos about the future of everyone living on the moon, going to Mars and flying in space rocket. Thirteen years later; we are still waiting for that wet dream to come true en masse. Danny puts the rocket in as Gazelle puts the VHS tape into the capsule. In comes the adults doing their animal sounds. (Mummy Pig, Daddy Pig, Mummy Rabbit, Mummy Sheep, Mummy Pony, Mummy Dog and Daddy Zebra in his fourth appearance on this show! Also, If both Pig adults are here, where is George Pig?! WHAT THE HELL?! Why didn't they just have Daddy Pig here?! I get the finish needs to have both of them; but why not have George present at the playgroup, especially since George was in the dream sequence earlier. Heck, where is Richard Rabbit?! This is so stupid and no one in creative thought this episode through.) Peppa shows off the time capsule to the adults; which gives Gazelle a chance to give the shovel to Daddy Pig because it's time for him to do some hard labour. Of course! Daddy Pig is confused as usual. We head outside, Daddy Pig digs a hole in the ground, they put the time capsule into the hole in the ground and then dig it up. The hole was no more than two feet deep as Peppa wants to dig it up now, and Gazelle proclaims that it will remain in the ground for many years, in the most absurd voice Gazelle could use. Peppa is not happy with this and lets Gazelle know about it. Gazelle has a hearty laugh about it because it's just like Daddy Pig when he was a child, because Madame Gazelle was Daddy Pig's teacher. Exactly how old is Madame Gazelle?! She looks as old as Daddy Pig in this show; so what?! Something's fishy here because the adult all sound like they are argeeing to Gazelle as if they were ordered to do so. (Mummy Dog actually is written in by teleport here. Oh, and Madame Gazelle has an ugly secret to share with you all. But you'll have to wait until the end of Series Four to find out.) The adults all created a time capsule and buried it underneath a small tree; which has grown tall and big since then. Daddy Pig giggles before digging near the tree and strikes metal. He brings out the rusty old metal time capsule and walks back into the school, sounding giddy in the process.

Everyone follows him as the capsule is placed on an out of nowhere table. Gazelle tells all the children to stand back; so she has in fact infantilized the adults in this scene. Never a good idea. Madame Gazelle opens the time capsule and there is an old comic book (Daddy Pig), an tin toy airplane (Mummy Dog, whom speaks for the second time I do believe, this time voiced by Claire Waxler ), a record (Mummy Sheep) and a carrot. (Mummy Rabbit, who blushes on cue and I think this is Mummy's Rabbit's debut speaking. We found Rebecca's enabler now.) Apparently; Mummy Pony and Mr. Zebra were not around during this; which is odd since we have seen Pedro Pony since this show began in the first Playgroup. Then they find the VHS tape and apparently, this was filmed in the 1980's, so Gazelle was around 18-20 years old. (Somehow, Gazelle has not aged a day since then! Huh, something is rather sus about Gigi Gazelle, if you know what I mean...) Gazelle puts the tape into the VCR (VTR, or whatever). The television shows a B&W picture of the adults as kids. Apparently, Mr. Zebra, Mummy Pig and Mummy Cat were around at this point; but didn't bring anything to the time capsule. (This is albeit in kid form, the unofficial debut of Captain Dog, since Granddad Dog would be young adult age at this point.) Daddy Pig sounds like Daddy Pig trying he's best Simon Seville impression, it failed. Yes; he cuts the same promo as Peppa. Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig are shocked by the hand holding scene as everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. (Oh, and yes, everyone including the kids in the video did the same thing.) Yes folks; this was the beginning of the "Peppa wants to go to the moon" angle that was paid off in The Golden Boots. Yeah. (I'm dropping this to *** (60%) due to a lack of George and Richard in the actual episode. Remember, if the parents arrive and George is not there, that means George is alone. I hope George is playing with Richard in Daddy Rabbit's home because this is not a good look for this show and this won't be the last time this show doesn't think their logic through. See Freddy Fox.)

Rock Pools: Here is episode #62 on the animation paper as we begin on a boring road with Grandpa Pig driving his yellow car with Grandma Pig. George and Peppa are in the back seat wearing their swimming costumes as we head for a grassy hill and the car stops. (By the way, Peppa while the car is driving is actually looking straight into the hard camera. That was something else.) The narrator tells us that they are going to the seaside as everyone gets out. Peppa and George with one shovel and one pail run down the hill and Peppa and George stop on top of a lot of rocks and stones with little sand in them. It would have been funny if they explain how the rocks got there; but they didn't explain it. Peppa asks where is the sand and Grandma Pig declares that there is no sand on this beach. Actually; there is but there is very little of it. Peppa wants to make sandcastles, you see. George then drops the bucket...and then bawls his eyes out! Right in Grandma Pig's face, too goes the sprinkler tears. (This was the second funniest George cries his eyes out ever, next to him seeing his own reflection in Fancy Dress Party. Step 1: Look at hard camera, Step 2: Drop bucket, Step 3: Cry, Step 4: Profit!) Grandma Pig grabs George to inform him that there is lots to do on this rocky beach and Peppa is not buying this crap. Grandpa and Grandma Pig show off the rock pool as per the episode title for the educational stuff of the episode. (In North America, it is also called tide pools. Personally, I like rock pools better since "Tide" is a brand name cleaner around here.) We do a zoom in shot of a bubbly pool to see some green plants, small stones and a gold coin that looks too small to be a chocolate coin. Peppa is in awe as she picks up the gold coin and it sparkles. Maybe there is a pirate's treasure and it's time for some pirate treasure hunting; because we have three minutes to kill, so why not?! (Sadly, the world of Peppa Pig is not ready for the real pirates...yet.) Peppa puts the coin in George's bucket and we move onto the next pool, which Peppa declares that there is nothing special about this one; in the same way I didn't think the Smash Brothers Switch reveal tease was. (33 million plus units sold would dispute that former self.) Grandpa tells them to look deeper and Peppa claims that she sees something special after all. I betcha it's a crab. I check the video as Grandpa Pig puts his hand into the pool and SNAP! OUCH! Ummmm...No; I didn't say that, it was Grandpa Pig and the crab. Damn; I'm so good. After the worst selling of a crab I have ever seen, Grandpa shakes the crab off his crab; the crab frowns on the sand which causes Peppa to blow it off. This causes the crab to smile and walk away sideways. What?! No; I don't mean the sideways part. I mean; the crab responding to Peppa's blowing off.

The crab jumps into the next pool as George is now cosplaying a crab, but sadly, the animation is so limited in this show that they cannot make George walk sideways as if their lives depended on it. (Now we have them cosplaying crabs after wiggly worms, butterflies, frogs and Polly.) Peppa joins in the pinching cosplay and Grandpa Pig's selling of this is horrible. I realize that he's faking it; but good faking requires the illusion that he is in mortal fear of being pinched. Not good acting by the way. Peppa does her usual singsong taunt as Grandpa tells them to shoo -- in a nice way I might add -- and go back to their little rock pools. We head to the next rock pool to find a vanilla sea shell with yellow trim among all the lines and edge. (Somehow the shovel and bucket are written in by teleport. How about that?!) Peppa and Grandma do the spot where if you put the shell to your ear, you can hear the ocean. It's not totally true since any type of shell shape can get the same effect anywhere, and not just at the sea. Sadly; Edmond Elephant is not here right now. (Oh, and we haven't even started with the phrase: Clever clogs! Get ready, you'll yearn for Jeff Jarrett saying "slapnuts" over and over again until the end of time...) Grandma asks George to find one and he finds a rock; and is much happier to find a rock than Charlie Brown getting a rock at Halloween. (Sick burns on Charlie Brown feel like punching down, you puny ranter...) George is like "oh" and then drops it hard on the sand. The rock splits open and there is a shell's image inside the rock; like it was half of a die to make plastic shells. It's actually a fossil as Grandpa Pig explains that it's the remains of an animal; implying that the animal is dead. That makes the "cutting the head off" reference in Babysitting even funnier in hindsight. George cosplays the half rock as Mr. Dinesaur. Peppa squeaks and giggles as finally the real plot of the show begins as Grandma Pig find a rock pool with a little fish inside of it swimming and not happy; because she's trapped and it will take forever for the sea to bring her back, time the fish doesn't have because the water pool might dry up and the fish will die. How does Peppa know the fish is female?! Peppa takes George's bucket, scoops up the fish and carries it on the giant rock where the ocean is. The kids say their goodbyes to the fish and dump her into the sea, where she will now be eaten by sharks, whales and other assorted animals of the sea, because that is how real life is. To be fair to Peppa; it would have been just as cruel to leave the fish to die in the rock pool, so yeah. (In other words, no decision is a good one. Welcome to reality, Peppa!) The fish does some awesome jumping and laughing that sounds like a dying seagull, and she dives hard into the sea and splashes the entire Pig family present. HAHA! Peppa loves rock pools as everyone does the lightest backsplash laugh possible to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was another really fun episode; but that fish is dinner right now. *** 1/2 (70%).

Recycling: Here is episode #63 on the animation paper as we head to the house on the hill with the car pointing down in the opposite direction while Mr. Bull's trash truck of doom arrives from the western side of the hill backwards. Mr. Bull's job description is that he's a "bin man" who collects all the rubbish. This has to be his debut because the narrator talks about it being early morning and Mr. Bull has to be quiet, but he sucks at it as he tosses the trash into the garbage truck while making as much noise as possible. This is the exact same joke Huey Duck did in Feats Of Clay, only the narrator is cutting the promo here. (Mr. Bull's is probably one of the few characters outside of Miss Rabbit that has multiple jobs in his own right. He's mostly a construction worker, but he also works as a guard for the hospital later on. He's also a body shamer and is often dumber than Daddy Pig. He also has a fetish for destruction as we'll see later...) Ironically; the pig family is already awake in the kitchen having cereal and apple juice. (It's 8 am, so being quiet is pointless. If it was 5 am, maybe I would be concerned.) Peppa wonders who and what the noise is about and Daddy claims that it's Mr. Bull the binman. (Mr. Bull is voiced by David Rintoul since this is officially Mr. Bull's debut. The tribute is in the Christmas Special DVD rant and the upcoming Peppa VS. The World redo rant.) The kids and Daddy Pig go outside as we have a meet and greet. Mr. Bull waves farewell and doesn't appear to be all that well as he was coughing a bit during this before leaving. Mr. Bull drives down the hill as the kids and Daddy Pig come in the house with the trash bin proclaiming that Mr. Bull has done the business. It's time to clean the table and Peppa wants to help. Peppa grabs the apple juice bottle and teases throwing it in the rubbish bin (Trash can in North America); but Mummy Pig cuts her off because glass bottles can be recycled, you see. Peppa asks what is recycling because it could mean bicycling backwards. (Wow, that was an unintentional sick burn on former self's part here.) Daddy explains that the stuff that cannot be recycled go in the rubbish bin; but the stuff that can goes into various recycle bins. Mummy Pig shows off the recyling bins as the red one is for paper (newspapers), the blue one is for tin cans (recycled metals) and the green one is for bottles (plastic and glass). (Basically, fifteen minutes has gone by in Peppa Pig's world in less than a minute.) Now, where does the apple juice bottle go? Peppa ponders this over and proclaims that it goes in the green bin. Correct! George wants to recycle something and Mummy Pig suggests Daddy's newspaper, which Daddy is still reading at his seat at the kitchen table.

Daddy wants him to wait one minute -- which is literally ten seconds -- before he finally gives George the newspaper. HAHA! (Considering that Peppa Pig time is the way it is, this ten seconds might as well be one minute.) George puts the newspaper into the right bin after Mummy Pig informs him of that. Next up; since they are running out of room to put anything more into the bins, it's time to head to the recycling center. If you cannot guess who runs the recycling center, then you have not watched this show nearly enough yet. (Yeah, I would have booked this as Mr. Bull running the recycling center. I know this show needs more women, but Miss Rabbit's multiple jobs gimmick is getting sadder the longer this goes.) Everyone gets out the house as Mummy Pig has the bin of bottles and shakes them, Peppa has the bin of tin cans and shakes them, George has the bin of newspapers and shakes them, while Daddy Pig has a smile on his face and doesn't shake, sadly. Everyone gets into the car and Daddy Pig drives down the hill onto the boring road as we are playing this music in the background with the shaking sound in the background at various points. Peppa then proceeds to sing the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM about recycling to kill time. They shake the bins for fun and wasting time. (This I believe is the very first episode where Peppa Pig sings a song for real this time!) Finally, we make it to the recycling center with guess who is running the recycling crane? Yes, Miss Rabbit. (Job #21 at this point. Do I care if this is accurate? No.) At least the car parked inside the recycling center instead on the steepest side of the hill this time, but this would prove to be even worse in the grand scheme of things. Miss Rabbit apparently has a fetish for recycling old rusty cars by invoking a demolition derby with a giant magnet crane. Still better than being an ammosexual, though. If you don't know who that is and you're a gun owner, it's a really bad sign. Miss Rabbit is happy to see them and the family goes to the giant versions of the recycling bins as Peppa and George put the stuff into their proper place in the recycling bins. Daddy Pig thinks this is all done and they can go back home; but we still have a minute left because it's now time for Miss Rabbit to steal Daddy Pig's car in a clueless attempt to recycle it! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Even better, since Peppa Pig is the star of the show and all, the narrator refers to the car as Peppa's car! As if Peppa OWNS the damn car! That made me laugh. Peppa shouts down Miss Rabbit as everyone backs up and Miss Rabbit finally relents and lets the car down because it's not old and rusty. The family gets into the car as they love the car and recycling, ending in laughter to end the episode at 4:30 approx. The finish of this was tres funny; but I would not mess with Miss Rabbit anymore. Using the recycling crane is merely a gateway to having a gift shop on the moon with her. **** (80%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; this was mostly a fun ride. Some of the episodes annoyed me but came back and became awesome (Emily Elephant, George's Friend), some annoyed me because Peppa is dumb (Teddy's Day Out), some were just there and Recycling was decent until Miss Rabbit tried to trash Daddy Pig's car. (She's crying for help now and you love it?! You really were a sadist and a slimebag, I thought you were playing with me, former self.) Overall; it was a fine affair with some really sloppy spots in a few of the episodes. I really don't have much to say otherwise. So...

Thumbs up for Recycling, thumbs down for Teddy's Day Out and thumbs in the middle for the rest and I'll see you all next time.

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