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Twenty Years Of Muddy Puddles: Peppa Pig Series Two #3 Rant

Reviewed: 03/25/2018
Additional Commentary/Edited: 07/14/2024

WAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAA!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. We head back to Series Two as we start the next ten episodes of the second series as we head to Daddy Pig's office, an island of pirates (no, not really), George catches a cold (yes, really), balloon rides, long grass, paintings, cuckoo clocks, and then we debut Zoe Zebra and Daddy Zebra for realies, Auntie and Uncle Pig's new child Alexander and finally, George celebrates his birthday! Yeah; welcome to the Cecily Bloom era of Peppa Pig. So; how do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley and Mark Baker; except for Painting and Cuckoo Clock, which are written by Chris Parker. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Daddy Pig's Office: Here is episode #74 on the animation paper as we begin on the boring road with Daddy Pig, Peppa Pig and George Pig in the red car driving east. Daddy Pig is dressed ready to work and has his luggage ready in the passenger side of the front seat. Peppa asks what Daddy does at work and Daddy Pig claims that it's all fun work and she'll see it soon enough. Ah; so this is the "take your kid to work" day episode. We head to the large work building on the hill as a green car and orange car are parked on the right side of the hill. Daddy Pig parks on the left side of the hill, at least it's not the steepest side of the hill this time. Everyone gets out and heads to the elevator with a glass window and an intercom speaker. Daddy Pig buzzes in with the red button and the woman's voice is clearly Madame Gazelle working the intercom. It makes more sense when Peppa buzzes in and declares that it's her -- since the intercom responds -- and lets them in anyway. Peppa, George and Daddy all get into the elevator (the lift in Britian); as Daddy's office is on the top floor, therefore George has to be the one who pushes the red button since it's his turn to do something. George smirks and pushes the button and the lift is going up and up. There are six floors in this building as the elevator talks in an entirely different voice, so the intercom operator is clearly Madame Gazelle. The doors open and everyone goes into the office; which looks like playgroup with an office style motif to it. Mummy Cat is working on the computer, while Mr. Rabbit is stamping approval papers. (2024 Gregory Weagle Says: This is actually Daddy Rabbit's debut and this will not be the only job he takes part in.) We have the meet and greet for a while as the kids look somewhat nervous. We start with Mr. Rabbit's job of taking papers with numbers on them and stamping them as the kids are in awe of this. Mr. Rabbit is pulling his bowtie, which sadly doesn't take pictures as the narrator is trying to sell us that this is a fabulous job. (Yeah, I'll bet! It's less work than me packaging Firestarter packs of wood chips and non-toxic wax. Maybe I'll show them someday. Maybe.) Peppa wants to stamp as Mr. Rabbit goes underneath his desk to find blank paper. However, Peppa finds the last piece of paper inside the In folder and stamps it like mad, like a troll would. Thankfully; it's only one piece, or this business would easily go kapult! (Outside of a silly face, Daddy Rabbit handles this about as well as you would expect.)

Mr. Rabbit finds a piece of blank paper and replaces the stamped paper with it. Peppa stamps and she for the most part, misses the paper completely and stamps the table. Mr. Rabbit clearly has stopped caring at this point as Peppa enjoys herself. After some intense stamping ensues; Daddy Pig, Peppa and George meet Mummy Cat. Mummy Cat's job is to design and print shapes using the computer. I guess this work is making math books for school children. Eh; it's a living. (At least they aren't religious books, that would make me cringe more than cartoon characters being dropped on their heads.) Mummy Cat designs another page of shapes as Peppa wants to help make a custom page of shapes. Since it's George's turn; he gets to design a custom page and it's nine blue triangles as Peppa pounds the keys on the computer. Surprisely; the computer doesn't break this time; but the printer is shooting out pages like crazy. Mummy Cat is confused. (How did Peppa know the multiple copies secret code?! By the way, that chart in the background indicates that business is cartering, and you cannot blame the kids for that one.) Daddy Pig ushers the kids away to his desk, which contains markers, a white board, filing cabinet, a picture of Peppa and George in wacky clothes and a green telephone on the table. Daddy Pig explains his job and even I am as confused as the kids are as the narrator proclaims that Daddy Pig's job is very important. (Suzy: It's magic! Daddy Pig: Yes.) Peppa asks about computer and stamps; but Daddy Pig is so old school, he uses coloring pens to say that 1 + 1 = 2! (Called "markers" in North America.) Peppa and George draw with markers for a while as George draws a dinosaur, of course! One that kidnaps Peppa as Peppa is drawing a house. George does his catchphrase and the kids giggle for a while. Suddenly; the clock rings because it's five o'clock and it's home time for the working adults who make children's simple math books. (By the way: When the episode started it was 9 am in the first minute of the episode. Three minutes later, it's home time! Three minutes in real time equals EIGHT HOURS in Peppa Pig's world! Suzy, just say the line and move on, or maybe it's time to increase the budget for scene changers.) The adults are impressed by the drawings. Peppa loves doing the adult jobs -- especially Daddy Pig's job -- and everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. Eh; not much to see here. (Eh, this was a fine episode. ** 1/2 (50%).)

Pirate Island: Okay; we are deep into series two with Episode #75 and the episode opens on a wooden dock with a sailboat which is run by Grandpa and Grandma Pig, who are on the sailing ship. The kids are Peppa Pig, George Pig, Danny Dog, Suzy Sheep, Candy Cat, Zoe Zebra, Rebecca Rabbit, Pedro Pony and Richard Rabbit, who is friends with George Pig. (Keep in mind, this episode was on a DVD set which I ranted the episodes out of order.) The adults are Mummy Pig, Daddy Pig, Mummy Cat, Granddad Dog, Miss Rabbit, Mr. Zebra and Mummy Pony. (This is appearance #9 for Zoe and Daddy Zebra at this point before her focus episode starts.) Yeah; not a lot of difference in the names of the adults, I guess that giving them actual names would confuse pre-schoolers. Of course; everyone's last name is based on their spieces, instead of wacky last name, probably for the same reason. (Except for George Pig for no real reason. Was Patrick Pig trademarked or something?!) The adult wait on the dock as all the kids have life jackets on, so they can be safe. Grandpa Pig is the captain; so there's a lot of aye-aying going on here; including Grandma Pig. Grandpa Pig pushes the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~! Yes; this is important later on in this series and you'll get sick of it quicker than you will slapnuts.) and we sail away, come sail away, sail away with a bunch of furries. I love the subtitles for this video (The DVD versions have no subtitles.); as a snort is an "oink" and everyone is giggling, except that the adults on the boat are not giggling. (Because that would be silly and Grandpa does not do anything silly. Wink! Wink! Nudge! Nudge!) George is on top of the cabin, which is not a good idea. Thankfully; Grandpa Pig jumps onto the cabin roof and gives George is pirate hat. They are heading to Pirate Island; which might have buried treasure. I'm 100% certain it will not be the Pirate Island live action show's island nor Pirate Island from TaleSpin. Grandpa uses the telescope and it's "land ahoy" as Pirate Island is just a hill of sand with no trees anywhere. (I'm guessing "land ho!" didn't get past the BS&P filter.) Grandpa sticks his black pirate flag into the sand and everyone still cheers for this. I should note that the adults are not wearing life jackets. WHATZ UP WITH THAT?! I would figure the mandate for safety would include adults; but I guess not. However; Grandpa brings out an out of nowhere sack and zips it open to reveal a metal detector that looks like a port-a-potty on a stick.

We do some metal detection spots as the sound of the metal detector sounds like a wailing sea gull being put through a poorly designed engine. ("IT'S MY TIME! IT'S MY TIME!" POW! OUCH Ummmm...I got the golden shovel from Puppet H!) They head to a spot where the metal detector is beeping and Pedro Pony digs up the spot to find a little gold plated coin as everyone pops. We search for some more and there is grass slowly starting to grow on this island despite the island being about the size of their ship roughly. Yeah. The metal dectector is beeping loudly and this requires Peppa, Pedro, Suzy and Zoe to dig into the earth and almost bury themselves in the process. Grandpa Pig jumps in and finds: a shopping cart. HAHA! Which in Britian is called a shopping trolley. Grandpa is disappointed and that's enough for Grandma Pig to stop this nonsense. (Grandpa Pig wins GEEK OF THE WEEK and there is one more thing in this episode that more than cements the honor.) It's time to build some sand castles. Grandpa Pig jumps out and calls this a wonderful idea as he bails to check on the ship; while Grandma and the kids help themselves to build the sandcastle. The exact same four kids are digging up the sand by the way, while Danny Dog and George have their sand buckets on retainer, just in case. Apparently; these important boat things include sitting down in front of the ship and reading a newspaper. Then he decides to close his eyes and snore the day away. (Almost to cementing that honor there!) We get a complete sequence of everyone else building the castle, using bucket for the castle turrets and it looks really big by sandcastle standards. Grandma Pig has had enough of this and wants to go home; but when they go to the western shoreline; the boat is not there. Because you see, Grandpa Pig forgot to anchor the boat onto the island and the boat has drifted away with Grandpa Pig sleeping on the job like a brainfarting moron. This trait has also passed on to Daddy Pig as well and more on that in the future. Grandma Pig's way to wake up Grandpa Pig is to scream as loudly as they can. Grandpa Pig somehow no sells this deal. Yes; they are now castaways on Pirate Island as Suzy claims that they will be on the island for a hundred years. Suzy; I assure you that by two months, you will be dead due to either heat stroke or starvation. (Sorry Suzy; you are not wrestling away the geek of the week honors in this episode!) Pedro and Danny proclaim that they must have wild fruit, berries, insects and slugs. Which there are none of any of these on this island. Everyone except Danny Dog is repulsed by this in the most unconvincing way possible because they giggle afterwards.

Then the boat lands on the docks with all the parents walking in. Uh-oh! Grandpa Pig has shown how senile he really is now! Oh; hello Mummy Dog, she came completely out of nowhere. Mummy Dog Series 1 is voiced by Debbie McDonald, Series 2 by Clarie Waxler, and Judy Flynn in Series 4/5. Debbie MacDonald, you know as Mummy Sheep. Clarie debuted as a line producer for Peppa Pig until 2007 and then worked on The Secret Show in 2007 before moving on to Thomas The Tank Engine & Friends in various roles including supervising producer until 2015. Judy Flynn according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): She is a British actress best known for her role as Secretary Julie in the BBC sitcom The Brittas Empire.[1] Other notable roles include seamstress and dressmaker Madge Howell in The House of Elliot, plus 'Val' in two episodes of the Victoria Wood comedy Dinnerladies. She began her career in First of The Summer Wine as Lena in 1988. Doctors (Lyn Buckley, Marie Lissimore and Trudy Benedict), and Call The Midwife (Ada Ward) are her most recent credits. She has 44 Acting credits, 4 Self credits and 2 Archive Footage credits to her resume. The boat bumps into the dock and Grandpa Pig is awake and confused in that order as Mummy Sheep, Miss Rabbit and Mummy Pig give him a hello in stereo. (GEEK OF THE WEEK cemented!) Grandpa at least instantly realizes that he left the children behind and pushes the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and sails the ship away stage right promising to be back in a tick. Jump cut back to the island as the kids and Grandma Pig notice that Grandpa Pig is coming back and the day is saved. That stereo hello from the mothers was awesome! Everyone cheers as Grandpa welcomes everyone on board by swinging the white gate open as Grandma Pig calls Grandpa Pig naughty. Grandpa Pig apologizes and promises that he will not fall asleep on the job again, which I'm sure will be broken the next time we see him. Everyone giggles; so they aren't buying this. We scene change to everyone on the boat as Peppa waves goodbye to Pirate Island, which is disappointing since no pirates were on it. Peppa asks if they can visit the island next time, Grandpa Pig says yes and the kids all laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was a fun episode; mostly for Grandpa's senile sleeping and finding the shopping cart. (Much funnier episode on the second airing, mostly because of Grandpa Pig being the geek of the week! **** (80%).) One more note: Mummy Pony was voiced by Madeline May here, which she only did this show otherwise.

George Catches A Cold: Here is episode #76 on the animation paper as we begin on the house on the hill in a giant rainstorm with the car pointed down the hill. I love that they claim that it's raining a little bit, like I'm buying that crap. Out comes George and Peppa with their boots on. Peppa was wearing red boots at this point. Mummy Pig (with umbrella) comes out and puts on their rain clothes with rain hat. George doesn't like the yellow hat and throws it down in disgust. Yay! Someone who hates banana yellow as much as I do. (Oh come on, now! Gedo's not that bad! This is also the same George who likes wearing a bigger pirate's hat.) Mummy Pig puts the hat back on and scolds George. George asks why twice and Mummy Pig wisely answers that he must keep dry, or he will catch a cold. George asks why a third time and Mummy Pig counters with a question of her own asking if George wants to be in the garden playing, George snorts twice and Mummy Pig tells him to keep his hat on. George finally relents and follows Peppa into the garden down the hill. So they find some muddy puddles and jump up and down in them. DING! George still hates that rain hat and throws it down. Then the rain really comes down and out comes Mummy and Daddy Pig with their umbrellas. (Ah, that's why the narrator said it was raining a little bit then.) Daddy Pig wants them inside because the rain is simply too heavy to play now. Everyone gets into the house and within seconds they are in the lobby; George already has red lines around his eyes in the signaling that he has caught a cold. (I love how he got the red lines instantly after he entered the home. Are you sure it's the rain, or something in the air inside the house?!) Mummy Pig seemly has figured out that he threw down his hat again. (Geez, the fact that George was not wearing said hat was an obvious dead giveaway there former self.) She even asks him and George sneezes on cue; and the second time he sneezes, he lands on his back.

Mummy Pig now feels sorry for George as Daddy Pig brings out his cellphone and rings in Doctor Brown Bear...AGAIN! Well; George is two years old at this point, so calling a doctor isn't the worst thing you can do here. We head to Doctor Brown Bear's office as Brown Bear answers the phone at his desk as he tells Daddy Pig to put George to bed and he'll be right over. (Called "Straight round" in Britian.) Peppa believes that a cold requires a hospital visit and medicine. I'm pretty sure the later will happen while the former will not, Peppa. Peppa, like the troll that she is; claims George is not properly ill. As much as you should not sneeze on someone else for obvious reasons since it can be dangerous depending on the illness, Peppa deserved that sneeze on her by George. You do not blame the victim. Mummy Pig grabs George and heads upstairs as we jump cut to George in his pjs in his bed as Daddy Pig tucks him in. George clearly hates this and does his defiant no while pushing the covers back. George gets out of bed as Daddy Pig grabs him and tells him to go back to bed. George asks why and it basically boils down to Doctor Brown Bear saying so. And speaking of the devil, in comes Doctor Brown Bear and the second Brown Bear asks where the patient is, George gasps and goes back to bed. HAHA! (Okay, that was funny and it sort of put a damper on George's defiant attempt to control the room here.) Brown Bear asks George to say "ahh" and George is afraid of the good doctor after being defiant against his parents. Brown Bear asks Peppa to show George how to say "ahh" and Peppa sells it, which causes George to giggle and mimic what she does. Brown Bear concludes that George has a cold; but doesn't need medicine, which means we will never see his reaction to said medicine and that makes me sad. (Don't worry, Pedro Pony is going to have a cough real soon that exposed Doctor Brown Bear for the quack doctor that he is.) However; warm milk during bedtime is allowed as Brown Bear takes his leave and drives his ambulance car down the hill stage left.

Ten seconds later, it is already HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as George has been in bed all day according to the narrator. Peppa comes in because it's her bedtime now. Peppa (with Teddy) climbs the ladder and gets in her bed. She asks George if he's better; George sneezes and the narrator proclaims that George is not better. Of course! The ladder moves as Peppa orders George to not sneeze loudly. Please sneeze even louder, George! And George coughs louder as Peppa calls this impossible. HA! Mummy Pig comes in with some warm milk for George to help him sleep. George drinks the warm milk (which needs badly drawn steam to convince us that it's not cold milk and Mummy Pig was not lying about it); and he is so drowsy that he finally falls to sleep. The adults step back as Daddy Pig turns out the light and says good night; as Peppa thinks she's safe from George's noises. (Sadly, Daddy Pig said "my little piggies" again.) That's when George snores himself to sleep, and it's so loud and manly that Peppa would think that DADDY PIG was sleeping in the bed below her. HAHA! We then hear a cockerel crow (rooster in America) as the sun rises and it's morning. Jump cut to inside Peppa's room and Peppa was kept up all night by George's loud snoring. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! George trolls Peppa! The narrator makes it even better by claiming that George slept very well. Awesome! George then gets up and climbs the ladder to bounce on Peppa's chest with Mr. Dinesaur to taunt her. Peppa yawns as the narrator proclaims that George is better. You don't say?! (Maybe Peppa should have taken George's condition more seriously.) We jump cut outside as everyone comes out with the spotty ball and George comes out wearing his rain hat because colds suck! Mummy Pig informs him that he don't have to wear it today, but George don't care. He asks why and Peppa asks why he cannot stop saying that word all the time in this episode. George says "why" and everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Yip; he's better. Too bad because Cold George is awesome! *** 1/2 (70%).

The Balloon Ride: Here is episode #77 on the animation paper and we begin this one on the school fete on the hill with many of the kids and adults already there. (This would be the first episode featuring the "Flying High" music and later song! The makeup of character is basically the same as The Fete, complete with a cameo from Doctor Brown Bear!) Balloons are flying, except for the giant hot-air balloon next to the table where Miss Rabbit, the Pig Family and Danny Dog are positioned. Miss Rabbit is behind the booth with her megaphone on full blast as the grand prize is a ride in the hot air balloon. There is a bottle of apple juice, a chocolate cake and a green car available for the raffle as Peppa is giddy about winning the grand prize. Danny enters the raffle, picks ticket #3 and wins the toy car. Peppa wants a ticket as Daddy Pig is hoping Peppa wins the chocolate cake instead. Geez; I'm on Daddy Pig's side here, although that bottle of apple cider would be nice too. (I think this is either the first or second time Daddy Pig expresses love for chocolate cake instead of George.) Oh; and Peppa doesn't pay a nickel like Danny Dog does as Miss Rabbit spins the barrels, Peppa picks a ticket and it's the red ticket of doom, which means; Peppa wins the balloon ride. Even Daddy Pig pops for this anyway as Miss Rabbit puts on her hat and goggles, like she's a pilot on TaleSpin and gets into the basket. Basically it's four passengers and two toys as the captions address Mr. Dinesaur as Dine-saw. Don't ask me why. (George: Why? Me: I don't know. George: Why?) The entire Pig family gets on board, although Daddy Pig nearly gets left behind in the process. The anchor is away as Miss Rabbit cuts pilot promos when the balloon rises up into the air. I should note that Doctor Brown Bear and Doctor Elephant made the trip here; along with Mummy Dog. (Also, you missed two others: The tenth appearance of Daddy and Zoe Zebra!) Daddy Pig thinks Miss Rabbit is an expert pilot and Miss Rabbit claims that she isn't really; since this is her first balloon ride. (Kit and Baloo would have laughed Miss Rabbit's hilariously dumb promos she cut during the take off out of the hanger after hearing them.) This coming from the same person who can pilot a helicopter several times throughout this series. (Miss Rabbit's helicopter service won't be in evidence until at least Series Three.)

I have a hard time believing this since she turns on the torch to heat the air inside the balloon and it rises into the sky. The kids wave farewell to each other as Daddy Pig offers to do the map reading and Mummy Pig is already not liking this idea. Of course; Daddy Pig reads it upside down and cannot get it right side up, because Daddy Pig is dumb. Peppa wants to go higher and Miss Rabbit turns on the torch some more to fly right into a cloud. Oy! Peppa thinks the sky ended as Daddy Pig corrects her on that. Once they fly through a cloud, everyone pops for it. Peppa sings the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM; which is basically the same music she always sings with, only different lyrics. (Get used to this, fools!) Bigger than the sun and moon is so wrong, it's not even wrong. So Peppa looks down and drops Teddy like an idiot as everyone panics; but it's Miss Rabbit and letting air out to the rescue! The air balloon comes down slowly as I betcha Teddy would drop on the ground within seconds in real life. Teddy is caught in a tree, situtated in a really thin forest as Peppa notices Teddy right away. Daddy Pig uses the anchor and rescues Teddy just like that as everyone has a giggle. Geez; Miss Rabbit is really good for her first balloon piloting assign...oh wait, they forgot to WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE~! The air balloon is stuck; which means everyone is stuck! But, wait; the balloon has landed conveniently in Grandpa Pig's garden. Of course! Daddy Pig is still dumb anyway because he admits that they are lost. (The one time he was reading the map right side up! How about that?!) Miss Rabbit yells in her red megaphone addressing the distress call to Grandpa and Grandma Pig. Out comes Grandpa and Grandma Pig with their picnic basket as Grandpa Pig responds back as Miss Rabbit calls for help. Peppa Pig explains the situation as the grandparents find a tall ladder and mound it against the basket of the balloon. Everyone in the balloon climbs down as Peppa exchanges notes on the situation as Grandma Pig brings out the chocolate cake from the picnic basket and Daddy Pig is already all over this. HEE HEE! Peppa calls this the best balloon ride ever, I don't believe her. Daddy Pig calls this the best chocolate cake ever, I can believe him on that as everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was a fine episode and Miss Rabbit just needs to watch out for trees. (This was a really fun episode on the second viewing as Miss Rabbit's first flight was really good, and Daddy Pig and Peppa Pig ultimately got what they wanted in the end, so *** 1/2 (70%).)

George's Birthday: Here is episode #78 on the animation paper as the sun rises on the house on the hill as we zoom into Peppa and George's bedroom as both kids are asleep. Literally three seconds later, George wakes up and pushes the covers away, ready to troll on Peppa like nothing else because it's his birthday. George takes Mr. Dinesaur and runs up the ladder and bounces on the bed as Peppa wakes up and protests this outrage. George don't care as Peppa demands he go back to bed. (BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! If you recall, Peppa Pig woke up George and jumped on the adults bed when it was her birthday. George is getting some sweet revenge.) George don't care as Mummy and Daddy Pig come in with presents; implying that they were in on this, too. Peppa protests this outrage as Daddy Pig reminds Peppa that she did the exact same thing on her birthday. Which, if you remember the episode, she did wake everyone up. Peppa claims it's different because it's her birthday. (Troll falls on own sword to avoid taking the L. Film at 11!) Daddy Pig gleefully corrects her on that one. Peppa yawns and says happy birthday to George. Just like that. Scene change to the kitchen table as there is the present on the table. Everyone is dressed as George checks the present by shaking it. He then opens it, and it's a long neck purple dinosaur with flexible jaw. Peppa is not impressed by this and George grrs at her with the dinosaur to respond to that. Daddy Pig takes the dinosaur and squeezes it's belly; and this causes the dinosaur to growl on it's own right in everyone else's faces. Mummy Pig calls it too scary; but the kids giggle anyway. (Mummy Pig sounds legit terrified by this even though she is supposed to be acting. In other words, Mummy Pig can do horror movies, but not the Smurfs!) Peppa gives him a card and teases that the card picture is a flower and George is not happy to hear that. (George will be fine with flowers later on as Danny Dog would be the flower hater.) But wait; Peppa changed her mind and painted a dinosaur on the cover. How nice, the little troll decided not to troll George after all. Awww! My heart melted. George is getting a birthday treat as the entire Pig family is going out somewhere. Peppa asks where and Daddy Pig refuses to say and we'll have to wait like everyone else, especially Peppa. We head outside as everyone gets into the car and Daddy Pig drives down the hill onto the boring road. 2:1 odds it's the museum. Peppa thinks it's the circus or the cinema; but Daddy Pig no sells both. Oh; and damn, I'm so good!

Of course it's the museum because as seen in a previous episode, there were bones of dinosaurs shown. There are balloons at the entrance, so this was clearly a pre-planned event as George is officially two years old! Everyone gets out and heads into the museum. They skip the royalty section and head into the dinosaur room as this is George's favorite thing in the whole world. This time; the entire room is filled with a dinosaur motif, just for George's amusement and glee. Peppa is not happy with this and she can sod off. George runs into the room as we get a lot of evolution references and then we see George standing on an X in front of a robotic green dinosaur. It's heat sensing as the black belly button glows red and the dinosaur growls in George's face; and he instantly bawls his eyes out. See moral guardians, George loves dinosaurs, but not scary dinosaurs. When a 2 year old has more nuance than a moral guardian, the moral guardians are the toddler. (Or God in homo sapien flesh and bone. Either answer is valid.) The parents come in as Daddy Pig demonstrates the robot dinosaur and that calms George down. George gives it a second try and this time he's not afraid and giggles. George growls as Mummy introduces another surprise as all of George's friends, including Richard run in out of nowhere with #2 balloons. (Including the 11th appearance of Zoe Zebra!) In a shock of shocks; Mummy Rabbit walks in with a white box with a birthday cake, which Peppa instantly guesses as a dinosaur motif cake. (Mummy Rabbit also has an echo effect in her voice. I think people thought it was Miss Rabbit, since she typically runs the museum.) Which it is and it's also the most wooden looking birthday cake ever seen. I am so disappointed that BS&P wouldn't allow George to blow out the candles, that made me very sad. Daddy Pig has one last surprise as everyone walks out of the museum and into a field and Peppa has already figured out that it has a dinosaur motif attached to it. We have an inflatable green something attached to a rubber hose and a giant red button. Peppa wonders what this is as Daddy Pig pushes the giant red button with his foot and it's a bouncy castle with a dinosaur motif attached to it! Of course! What a fool I am?! All the kids run into the castle and bounce and giggle as Peppa says happy birthday to George and that ends the episode at 4:30 approx. I like this better than Peppa's birthday, mainly because George loves dinosaurs. Everyone loves dinosaurs, except for religious people who claim dinosaurs have ruined their world view of the world. *** 3/4 (75%).

The Long Grass: Here is Episode #79 on the animation paper and we open this episode as we head to the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM as the sun is shining and the grass around the hill seems to be getting taller. (Ah, this must be an earlier rant I did of this episode since I do not call it the house on the hill.) Peppa and George open the back door and run down the hill and they are stopped by a field of tall grass in which the narrator tells us that he hasn't been cut in a long while. In Britan, it's "long grass" instead of "tall grass" here. Peppa and George then run into the grass and they are too short to be seen. George and Peppa have no idea where they are inside this grass as Peppa is calling for George as Peppa and George jump up and down in the grass to try to see each other. That doesn't work all that well as Peppa decides to play the creep up on George and George is confused. They then have a meeting of the minds and it wasn't at the playgroup. Out comes Daddy Pig with a red portable chair and his newspaper; and he is going to just read the newspaper and do absolutely nothing. AND THE ROCK MEANS NOTHING~! (Even though reading is actually do something. Something everyone should be doing a lot more often than they have. By the way, this is the first time the narrator says "Daddy Pig loves doing nothing" and it won't be the last.) Mummy Pig comes out to point out that the garden is getting out of hand; and the grass needs cutting; but Daddy Pig don't care. I mean; looking at the bouncy children in the grass laughing and chasing butterflies. Peppa and George run back up the hill and want the parents to join in. Daddy brings out the out of nowhere spotted bouncy ball and kicks it into the grass; and the kids just give up right on cue. (I mean, it lands about four feet in the long grass where they could easily get it. I betcha Peppa is just trolling now because we have to advance the plot at some point.) George and Peppa walk back in and Daddy Pig now admits that it's time to cut the grass. HAHA! Of course; Daddy Pig bails into the house and after some off-screen crashing and throwing, he returns with the the most rustiest, oldest hand mower I have ever seen. Daddy Pig is cheap. Mummy Pig calls it old and rusty; but Daddy Pig calls this nonsense. Because he's an expert in such things. Daddy Pig puts the push mower down and it barely moves about a foot or so.

I hope Daddy Pig invested in some WD-40 and I realize that he probably doesn't know what oil is and thus is an idiot. (Umm, in later episodes, he used a cement mixture to fix a tyre.) Mummy Pig has the world largest smartphone on retainer and wants to call Grandpa Pig to bring out his lawn mower; which Daddy Pig no sells and blows off in that order. This is not the time to be a toxic macho man, Daddy Pig; that hand mower sucks! (Well, yeah. I mean, even if it's not old and rusty; the grass is way too tall to cut with that hand machine.) The narrator sums up the lawn mower nicely and Daddy Pig's lawn mower is broken beyond repair. HAHA! Told you to invest in lubication, sir; it's not just for sex. Wink! Wink! Nudge! Nudge! (I don't think it would have matter in this case, but not a bad idea former self.) Of course; now Daddy wants to phone Grandpa as we jump cut to a table containing a phone. I'm certain that it's in the living room of Grandpa and Grandma Pig as Grandpa Pig answers the Green Lawn Courtesy Phone~! (Grandma Pig is also reading Ezza Magazine as this is going on.) Mummy Pig asks Grandpa Pig about lawn cutting and Grandpa Pig of course accepts the terms and hangs up. He leaves to bring out Betsy; which is a lawn mower tractor with the same type of grass cutting blades as Daddy Pig's hand mower, only it's all motorized and is taken much better care of. He's also driving on the road so slowly that everyone is driving behind in the only heavy traffic lane this road ever gets in a year. (Cameos: Mummy Pony, Pedro Pony, Mummy Cat, Candy Cat, Doctor Brown Bear, Mummy Sheep, Suzy Sheep and Mummy Dog. No Danny Dog for some reason.) Everyone beeps their horns in outrage; but nothing else comes out of it. Betsy makes it to the house on the hill. (Which as you can see, it's the camera zoom in/zoom out function making it steeper than it actually is.) Of course the male owner of the tractor has to have a female name attached to the machine. Calling it a GG-9999 would be a far less sexist name and would be more funny. (Which you ignored when Grandpa Pig called his truck with a train motif, Gertude. It's coming very soon in this Series too.)

George is still calling him "Papa Ig" at this point as Grandpa Pig is here to cut some grass. Daddy Pig concedes that his lawn mower sucks as we honk Betsy's horn, because this show has no sense of shame. Peppa asks if she and George can ride on the mower and Grandpa Pig says "yes" and they hop on. More horn honking and Grandpa Pig pushes the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and somehow; the destroyed lawn mower of Daddy Pig's has been written out via teleport. Time to cut some grass as we amuse overselves for a long while. The narrator sums this up nicely as the grass is now cut. Well, most of it actually. Peppa then points out a small portion of grass left. Geez; I wondered where the spotted bouncy ball went to?! Now; the smart thing to do is go over to the patch of grass, grab the ball and then cut the grass. That would be the smart and safest thing to do. Of course; this is NOT what Grandpa Pig does. Grandpa Pig drives the lawn mower over to the spot and cuts the grass. In real life; the spotted ball would just be destroyed and crushed; plus the lawn mower would probably be broken in it's own right. Nope; the ball goes through the lawn mower blade and bounces high into the air and lands in Grandpa Pig's hands perfectly intact. There is zero way I can suspend my disbelief over this. Neil Tyson Degrasse would laugh this spot out of the building if he saw this. (Okay, this finish was stupid, but it was at least funny stupid. The finish to The Golden Boots was so stupid it was horrible.) Peppa thanks Grandpa Pig for finding the ball; she should thank the writer who wrote this logic break for that. Daddy Pig and Mummy Pig come in as Daddy Pig thanks Grandpa Pig for mowing the lawn for him; because he's dumber than Grandpa Pig. Ponder that for a moment. They play bounce and catch for a bit as Peppa grabs the ball and then everyone does the backsplash laugh on the zoom out shot to end the episode at 4:30 approx. (They knew this finish was really stupid, so they wasted thirty seconds of bouncing the ball in order to take the edge off of the finish.) This was chugging along fine until that stupid finish. (This was a perfectly acceptable episode with a hilariously stupid finish. Call it ** 3/4 (55%).)

Zoe Zebra - The Postman's Daughter: This is Episode #80 on the animation paper. (Complete with puppet-in-the-box music!) On an interesting note; strangely, the Canadian DVD version only mentions her name on the episode title and not that she is the daughter of the Postman. (Probably because in Canada/America, a postman is called a mailman or mailperson. I have since corrected this error since he is not the Postmaster and never been one. In Britian, the mail is called post.) Huh. I don't know if this was a BS&P decision; or a font decision. (As for the Postmaster stuff: Probably because Postmaster is American (as in Postmaster General) as well. In Canada, Canada Post is a crown corporation with the Postmaster being called the chairperson.) This is Zoe Zed-bra -- not Zoe Zeebra--'s debut on the show. (In production order, yes. In airing order, this is her 12th appearance and first one as the focus episode!) Episode opens with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM as Mr. Zebra's yellow post truck arrives from the back yard. This is not the video's fault; this was planned by the animators. Of course; like every adult on this show, Mr. Zebra parks the vehicle on the steepest part of the hill. Mr. Zebra comes out and puts a brown letter through the post slot (Mail slot in North America). Then Zoe Zebra has some white letters and they are all addressed to Peppa's friends, Peppa and George. Which is all in one letter that she puts it through the mail slot. Wait, Richard Rabbit is uninvited since Rebecca's name is mentioned?! Is this Peppa trolling act spreading for some reason?! (Maybe.) Zoe and Mr. Zebra walk back to their post truck and yes; the truck is now facing the opposite direction for no reason at all. Apparently; backing the vehicle up is too offensive to be on a pre-school show. That's a stupid way to think about things. The post truck drives down the hill as we jump cut to inside the house on the hill as Peppa and George run down the stairs. Peppa grabs the letter as the narrator reminds us that the mail in Britian is called "the post". I can just imagine the iron ring posts in WWE being made out of mail now. (I love sick burns that aren't supposed to be sick burns! Also, huge if true.) The brown letter is for Daddy Pig as Daddy Pig takes the letter and opens it. It's the phone bill and is very boring indeed. Sadly; it's also neccessary in a world where money talks and a giant weighes. (Oooo, a sick burn on Daddy Pig, too.)

Peppa gives the white letter to Mummy Pig; but it isn't for Mummy Pig, it's for Peppa and George. Peppa opens the letter with glee and Mummy Pig reads it as Zoe has invited George and Peppa to her birthday party as Peppa looks into the hard camera and the narrator speaks right on cue. Yes; the characters are well aware that the narrator is talking about them. (That's a bit creepy.) Peppa and George are giddy as Mummy insists that they must issue a replay letter; because you see, there is a small chance that the kids cannot make it to the party due to various appointments and stuff; so it's good form to reply to make sure that Zoe knows that Peppa and George are going to the birthday party. This makes sense and I'm fine with this angle. Peppa requires help as we head to the kitchen with Mummy Pig writing the reply letter and Peppa basically being stuck at "Dear Zoe"; since her brain farted on her. No one is immune to brain farting; ask Daddy Pig. Especially Daddy Pig. (Another sick burn on Daddy Pig, he might need some of that lubicant to heal those. Also, Peppa will get better at this when Stamps arrives, featuring one of the greatest trolling self-owns of all time.) Mummy Pig writes the letter with kind regardless as the kids giggle. I guess Mummy Pig writes in code like she types in code on the computer. Daddy Pig has the primary colored letters to show how colorful this show is, making sure to give a giant middle finger to the color sensitive critics out there, who refuse to go to the doctor and have their eyes checked as if they are toxic macho man. Peppa chooses red (of course!) and the letter is put in with no address attached; just the name of Zoe Zebra. Although, considering who delivers the mail, it's pointless to put an address on it. Daddy Pig has a flower stamp worth three pounds. (Which would be a $3.81 stamp in the USA, $5.20 in Canada as of this additional commentary in July of 2024.). This means it's a third class stamp. It's addressed to Mrs. Zoe Zebra by the way; even I could tell in spite of Mummy Pig's intentionally horrible handwriting. We jump cut to the red Post Box near the tree as seen in the Christmas special. (Which makes this the official debut of the post office box in this series by default.)

Emily Elephant, Danny Dog, Suzy Sheep, Pedro Pony and Rebecca Rabbit runing in with letters in various colored envelopes and giggling. I would love to know what happened to Candy Cat? (Okay, I get the lack of Richard Rabbit, but no Candy Cat? The cats are getting screwed again. Oh wait...) They put the post in the post box and then bail stage left as Peppa, George and Daddy Pig arrive; Peppa puts the letter in the post box. In comes the post truck and thankfully; it parks on the bottom of the hill this time. Out comes Zoe Zebra and Mr. Zebra. Now; I know what you are all thinking: Why not just tell Zoe Zebra that they are coming to her birthday party and they got her letter? I understand why they cannot; since they have to play on the storyline that Zoe doesn't know if they replied or not and the only way is to read the letters from the post box sent to her. Still; this renders the letter writing by Mummy Pig to be absolutely pointless. Plus; it's not like it changes the storyline for everyone else. Heck; Peppa even admits that she got the letter and a reply was written. Again; why not just say to her that she and George is coming to her party? This is just stupid. Now; that being said, when Zoe is shown the letter and Zoe wants to open it; Mr. Zebra does point out that this important can only be opened when it is officially delievered, and tempering with the post is a criminal offense in real life; so I was perfectly fine with this. (Personally, I have mellowed out on this. Yeah, writing the letter is pointless if you are just going to tell her that you are coming to the party. However, this was done to focus on Zoe's character as the postman's daughter. It works on that level at least and I can accept this angle more.) Then Peppa and George asks if they can help and Mr. Zebra agrees to it. Yes, writing the letter is completely pointless now. Daddy Pig don't care as we drive on the road with Mr. Zebra driving and here's a logic break: The driver's seat is on the right side and the truck is on the right side of the road here. Huh. (That was more odd than a logic break former self.) We drive over to another house on the hill as the narrator points out that it is Zoe Zebra's house. And yes; the truck parks on the steepest side of the hill as there is a drooping tree on the right side of the house. Mr. Zebra goes to the door and apparently; all the white letters are gone, because all the letter are addressed to Mrs. Zoe Zebra, including Peppa's letter. Mr. Zebra officially puts the letters through the post slot of Zoe Zebra's house.

Apparently; Zoe is not allowed to open her letter, but there's no law against Peppa posting the letter through the post slot. I thought "All Your Baloo's In The Mail" prevented anyone from actually touching the mail except for the mail officer; since that is a criminal offense in that show?! (TaleSpin world rules differ from Peppa Pig world rules. Don't need to say it's magic here.) In comes Zoe Zebra, Mr. Zebra, Mummy Zebra (voiced by the same person who voices Mummy Pig) and the debut of Zuzu and Zaza Zebra for rant purposes. (Actually this is officially the debuts of Mummy Zebra, Zuzu and Zaza period. I believe that the kids will have a sleepover at Zoe's house later in Series two or three that involved the indentical twins. They won't be the last twins on this show either.) Alice May voices the twins here until series 4 and then Matilda Green from series 5 onward. So Mummy and Daddy Zebra check the letters and they are all the same: They are all coming to Zoe's birthday party and yes, so is Candy Cat. I guess she has her own post box somewhere else. Peppa shows off her letter and like a troll; she basically says what she would have say if she wrote the letter instead of reading the letter her mother wrote. The doorbell rings and all the kids -- including Richard Rabbit; whom was not mentioned in Rebecca Rabbit's letter -- with balloons on strings and gift boxes. Everyone runs into the living room and places the presents down with only two on the sofa. Only Peppa and George didn't bring a gift; I assume Mummy and Daddy Pig sent them since they are in the living room, along with Miss Rabbit and Mummy Sheep. Mummy Zebra comes in with the most lemony of lemon birthday cakes in history as apparently she's four years old as Zoe is going to be writing thank you letters back. Mr. Zebra of course has to deliver them; but she'll help --wink, wink, nudge, nudge -- as everyone but the Zebra family does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was cute, flawed episode with logic holes. (This was a much better debut than former self though it was, mainly because I totally understand the logic of the episode. It's silly to continue the storyline when you already told Zoe you are coming to the birthday party and it's not like Zoe disbelieves Peppa either. However, for everyone else, it was fine. *** 1/2 (70%). By the way: Mummy Pig, Peppa Pig, George Pig had birthdays before this, this is the first of Peppa's friends to have a legit birthday and only Mummy Pig had fewer episodes from debut to birthday than Zoe. Daddy Pig's birthday is coming up soon.)

Painting: We continue on with episode #81 on the animation paper, as we begin this one on the house on the hill as we head in the kitchen with Peppa, George, Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig at the table. Daddy Pig is reading the newspaper, while there is three canisters of colored paint (red, blue, yellow) a glass of paintbrushes and sheets of paper. (It's noon time today.) We are painting today, as per the episode title. First; we need Daddy Pig's newspaper and he'll give it to them when he finishes reading it. Five seconds later, he gives it to them as we reset the table with the newspaper on the table. We start painting as George is hand painting and Peppa calls him silly because big kids do not put their hands in the paint. Peppa has never played a single frame of Splatoon, where you shoot virtual paint/ink out of stylized laser guns while wearing awesome looking gear and complain about their internet signal being unstable. Yes; you can clearly tell I made that one up; but nothing I said isn't true. (Ooooo, sick burn! Nothing compared to the "You're a kid now!" commercial Nintendo released for the game, one of the few bright spots during the WiiU/3DS era.) Peppa then paints yellow paint on her hands and joins in for fun, because she's silly and doesn't want to admit it. Somehow; Mummy Pig has a pot of potatoes that are uncooked as Daddy asks for one, which surprises everyone. Daddy Pig grabs one and proclaims that this is not for ending; this one is for making potato stamps. (Also the number of potatos in the pot increases inbetween shots.) He makes a flower from red and yellow paint, which somehow doesn't mix. Also; the flower's petals do no match the shape of the potato stamp. Daddy Pig loves painting since he was a little piggy as he bails stage right. He returns with his easel, canvas, painting supplies and painting beret. I'm guessing the giggling was him redoing his outer mustache hairs into curls before he came back. Peppa calls the beret funny. Nah; the curls in his mustache are funnier, Peppa. (Former self is not wrong here. There are far funnier clothes worn by "people" who are not funny, and that's an understatement!) French music also plays as Daddy Pig claims that the beret is a motivator. Daddy and the kids walk out of the house and down the hill. Daddy Pig wonders what he is going to paint today. George snorts and giggles as he finds a conveniently placed cherry tree. Peppa is totally fine with this because it's not a "dinesaur" (sic). Daddy Pig sets up his easel and canvas as Peppa asks. (Peppa pronounces it perfectly fine, former self.)

We exchange notes on the wonders of painting as this easel is wooden and has drawers (NOT THOSE ONES!) which Daddy Pig opens and brings out his paint brushes, paintboard and containers of paint; which Peppa confuses for toothpaste. Daddy Pig corrects her and squirts paint paste in red, yellow and blue onto the paintboard. Peppa wants to use red first, but Daddy Pig kindly no sells because the sky has to be painted first, so it's blue that they start with. Sadly; no clouds in this painting. Such skyism these pigs have! Daddy Pig also forgets to paint the bottom of the easel as next up is the green leaves, which Peppa puts out that there is no green. However; through the magic of color mixing (Okay; it's science. Don't take science advice from Suzy Sheep. You are just daring her to chop another tree down.), mixing blue with yellow makes lime green paint. Daddy Pig paints the leaves and the grass, which explains why he didn't paint the bottom of the easel blue earlier and now we need brown paint for the branches. There's no brown paint for them. But wait; remember, the science of color mixing?! Well; this time, Daddy Pig mixes green and red, to make a brown color. Daddy Pig paints the brown branches as Peppa wants to paint the cherries on the tree. Daddy Pig lets her as Peppa dabs her finger in the red paint and paints the leaves with red dots. George wants in and he does the same; only with more branches of leaves. The painting is finished and is much less detailed than the real thing, which due to the artwork; isn't all that detailed. Then in comes the yellow ducks of doom as Peppa greets them; and the ducks do not care at all as they run onto the paintboard on the ground as colored footprinnts are made. Somehow; logic breaks and there are no green nor brown footprints present as Daddy is shooing and protesting this outrage. The easel gets bumped and allows the ducks to footprint the grass of the painting and the painting is ruined. Or is it?! (Logic break wise, yes. Tom Bevel would have laughed this out of the building.) In comes Mummy Pig as we exchanges notes on the situation as Mummy Pig grabs the canvas and compares it to the real thing as the ducks are making paint footprints around the cherry tree, the painting is now similar to the real thing and we have no right to complain about it anymore. (Except for the lack of footprints near the easel which has been written out by teleport.) Mummy puts the canvas back on the easel, Peppa likes this as Daddy claims that he is sort of an expert on painting. Peppa counters that the ducks are too as everyone except the ducks does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was a really fun episode; although the logic was a bit wonky at times. *** 1/2 (70%).

Cuckoo Clock: Here is episode #82 and it opened with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM as the sun is rising. We zoom into Mummy and Daddy Pig's bedrom as the two adults are snoring and sleeping. Which is the blantant signal for Peppa and George to run in and jump on the bed to wake them up. And that is exactly what happens. (I'm not doing the jumping on the bed song again.) Daddy Pig points out from his alarm clock that it's five o'clock in the morning and much too early to get up. I get up to go to work at four o'clock in the morning; so what are you complaining about Daddy Pig?! Oh wait; on non work days; it's eight o'clock, like today. Sorry that I complained; I would just doing a pre-emptive troll job to prepare my readers for this episode since this is the infamous "Peppa is a vicious troll to George" episode. Then Peppa proclaims that they got up at the wrong time, because their clock no longer works anymore. Everyone heads into the kid's bedroom as Daddy Pig notices the cuckoo clock is broken and the hands are at 7:20 am; so that partially explains why the kids woke the adults up. As mentioned; in America and Canada, we "repair"; in Britian they "mend". Daddy Pig pops the cuckoo clock from the wall and Peppa is confused as to why it's called a cuckoo clock. Mummy explains that there is a little bird called a cuckoo inside the place where the door is. Apparently; the cuckoo clock hasn't been winded up in years; since the thing got really annoying after awhile. Peppa is inspired and already the adults look at her like they will not approve of her inspiration. Peppa asks if they can wind it up again; and Daddy Pig simply decides to, without question. I guess it's more dangerous to have the children jump up and down on their bed every morning, than listen to the annoying sounds of a cuckoo bird. Daddy winds up the clock and sets it to five minutes before nine o'clock; by checking the clock on the wall in front of the sink and then places the cuckoo clock down on the table. Daddy Pig explains the ways of the cuckoo bird to waste time in storyline. Which is about a minute in real time. (Daddy Pig's attempt to be a cuckoo bird is hilarious! Best part of the episode by a mile. Sadly, the episode is about to fall off a cliff.) George is waving his arms and cosplaying a cuckoo bird into the living room. Everyone else is watching the clock turn nine and out comes the cuckoo bird once to do pretty much what Daddy Pig said it would do before going back in. Peppa is in awe as George conveniently runs in, missing the whole thing; like the TNA director missing dives on PPV. (Ouch! That was a bad sick burn on George there, former self. Sadly, the analogy is true.)

Peppa tells George that the cuckoo bird was brilliant, then points to George and proclaims that he missed it. Peppa Pig basically blamed the victim here despite the fact that it was Daddy Pig who got George wound up into cosplaying the cuckoo bird! (To be fair, Daddy Pig didn't mean to wind up George, it was just that George was very excited seeing the cosplay. Daddy Pig is awesome at playing a cuckoo bird.) What a troll Peppa Pig is?! No surprise; George bawls on cue and rightfully so. Now; I know critics yell at Peppa for being rude. Her rudeness is the least of her problems. I'm fine with her being rude, because I have been rude from time to time. But this goes beyond mere rudeness. Sometimes, it's neccessary to be rude in order to correct bad behavior. Rudeness is only bad behavior when you are intentionally using it to hurt people; like Peppa just did here. Her trolling on people is much more problematic than her being rude. This was a low point in Peppa's life; and she hasn't shaken off this behavior completely since this episode aired. (Oh, just wait until "Please & Thank You" gets released and the creator start pointing fingers at the audience for their rudeness while George and Peppa are the kindest kids around. It's hilarious!) Plus; George is younger than Peppa and even if you are a child, this is punching down and it a sign that the character doing the punching down has no argument. Daddy Pig informs George that the cuckoo bird will return in one hour according to Mummy Pig. Peppa is bored and wants her and George to go outside and play. George doesn't sell and stares at the cuckoo clock; because he'll NEVER fall for Peppa's trolling again. So; it's almost ten o'clock as we scene change as George's eyes have red edge on them; a sign that he has stared into the abyss for way too long for it to be healthy to them. (Hey, at least he didn't turn his back, yet.) In comes Peppa; who has Mr. Dinesaur in her hands and I groan because we all know where this is going now. Peppa uses the dinosaur toy to woo George out of the house to play and George sells it hook, line and sinker. (He turned his back: He's lost, he's conquered, CHOMP! Peppa is dangerously close to being a legit heel on this show.) Literally three seconds later; the cuckoo bird comes out and it's ten o'clock. Literally five seconds later; George comes back and he's missed it, AGAIN! Peppa is a nasty, vicious, evil troll! George rightfully bawls on cue and Peppa smiles, just making her look like a bully. Mummy Pig tells George and Peppa to run outside to play; and she'll call George up when the clock reaches eleven o'clock. No telling Peppa to stop teasing George at all. (That pisses me off more now, since Mummy Pig usually tells her off for this. Shame! Former self gave this episode too high of a rating) The kids stop in the grassy plain and play bounce catch with Mr. Dinesaur as we jump cut to the cuckoo clock being a few minutes before eleven o'clock already.

Mummy Pig calls for the kids to come up and George drops his dinosaur toy and runs up into the house after being taunted again by Peppa. Only this time; George goes inside the kitchen, looks at the cuckoo clock, it strike eleven o'clock and the cuckoo bird does it's thing and it ends. George instantly does the backsplash laugh and that is that. Yes; there was something more important than George's favorite toy that George was willing to throw away just to see something else. (This could have all been avoided if Peppa didn't try to woo George out into the garden. This is all on her.) Peppa comes in and they flap their arms and cuckoo in stereo. Scene change to outside the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM AFTER HAPPY HOUR and the kids refuse to stop doing the cuckoo spot. Damn; I knew that cuckoo clock would be a bad influence on the children. We head into the room as the kids are sleepy and they all head into the bedroom and nod off to sleep. Daddy and Mummy Pig come in with the cuckoo clock. Daddy places the cuckoo clock on the wall as the clock reached seven and cuckoo bird comes out and it appears that it croaked itself to sleep; but it was enough to wake Peppa and George anyway. Daddy and Mummy assure Peppa that the cuckoo bird is sleeping. It's sleeping all right; it's sleeping forever! Peppa and George nod off to sleep again as the adults turn off the lights and walk out of the room. However; this was all a ruse on the kids part because they wake up and take the clock off the wall. Apparently; Peppa stole the wind up key and winds up the cuckoo clock as George is smirking. So she's gone from trolling George to trolling her parents; which she already did in the beginning of this episode. So basically; we repeat the beginning of the episode at night time. They show off cuckoo clock which is at eight o'clock because the bird is all better now. The better to annoy us the viewer! Daddy and Mummy Pig laugh it off anyway as the kids do the backsplash laugh and that ends the episode at 4:30 approx. Personally; the finish should be that the kids and adults laugh, then the cuckoo bird comes out and does the backsplash laugh with them on cue. It would have made no sense; but who cares?! (You know an episode is bad when former self is calling for better finishes that make no sense.) Otherwise; not a good episode as Peppa trolls everyone, and I do mean everyone without any consequences whatsoever. (It's not the worst episode in the pre-Golden Boots era, but it pissed me off. I'm lowering this to * 1/2 (30%) mostly for context on how low Peppa will stoop to make fun of her little brother.)

The Baby Piggy: We continue on with episode #83 on the animation paper as we begin on that boring road to the west with Daddy Pig's car being driven by Daddy Pig. The entire Pig family is in the car as Peppa has the bouncy ball and George has Mr. Dinesaur with him as Daddy Pig explains that they are visiting their cousin Chloe, the parents of Chloe and a new cousin. Now; since I did the episodes out of order since I reviewed the DVD sets first, I pretty much spoiled the whole thing in advance. It's Baby Alexander by the way. (Baby Alexander appears in five episodes in the mainline series and even more in Peppa Pig Tales, although the early episodes of Peppa Pig Tales set up an ugly scene of possible divorce between Auntie Pig and Uncle Pig. Still no Cousin Chole though in Peppa Pig Tales.) We head to the sky blue house on the hill (with swing on the cherry tree) as the car parks on the steepest side of the hill once again. Out comes everyone for the meet and greet as Baby Alexander makes his debut in the flesh and is reserved like a gentle baby. That will not last long, I assure thee. Yes; Baby Alexander is a male, and the girls are not hip with that at all. George don't care as he snorts and shows off Mr. Dinesaur to Alex and he sobs and it sounds like Richard Rabbit crying. Why they didn't use this in future episodes is a mystery to me since it sounds better than his unique crying! (Oh, just wait until the Harley Bird era where everyone thought there was an emergency in the progress and..oh wait, it's Baby Alexander. It is both the funniest and the most stupid cry I have ever heard.) Mummy corrects George on his gaffe and Peppa bounces the ball in front of Alex, because somehow she believes that a ball bouncing is less scary than George's dinosaur cosplaying. No shock; Alex bawls on cue. Alexander is too little to do much of anything at this point, except eat, sleep and burp; which is a lot of manchildren's gimmicks as well. (You just self-owned you and me, former self.) Peppa wants to hold the baby and she gets her way as long as she is careful. Peppa holds the baby and likes it in spite of the gender; and then Alexander blushes, which this was the point where they formally gave the baby it's name. This is the signal for Baby Alexander Pig to dump in his nappie causing Peppa to give the baby back in disgust. (That one was for you, Ring Of the Hawk!) She was disgusted with this and probably made her more stinky in the process.

By the way; footy pj's are called nappies in Britian, and Peppa is protesting this because Daddy Pig is reminding her that she once wore footy pj's. (Daddy Pig gives her a sick burn and Peppa hates it.) Chloe wants to play in the garden with Peppa and George, her mother allows it and we head down the hill towards a tree with a tire swing. However; next to it is a storage hut with a purple pirate flag pole on the top of the roof and apparently, Chloe has a panda bear like Teddy stored inside. We exchange notes for a while as Chloe gets inspired because Peppa wishes George was a sweet baby piggy instead of a dinesaur-loving crybaby. I made up one up; but they were clearly implying this. Chloe goes into the storage hut and brings out a purple/red carriage (A doll pram in Britian) as Peppa thinks this is a great idea. George says: no because he doesn't want to be a baby...AGAIN! Peppa and Chloe start bargining with George on this -- on stuff that they can never promise -- but George ponders it over and accepts by getting into the pram. George makes baby noises as Chloe pushes the pram for a while. In comes all of Peppa's friends except for Danny Dog and Pedro Pony. (None of the boys arrive. That is odd.) We meet and greet as Suzy is confused as to why George is in a pram. Peppa claims that it's just a baby; but no one is fooled even in storyline. (Candy Cat is even more self-aware than Suzy that this is a troll move on Peppa's part.) Chloe has to remind them that this is cosplaying as they ask the gender of the baby and Peppa calls George a girl like the troll that she is. George absolutely says "no" to that and Peppa decides that it's a boy as George giggles on cue. Suzy brings out a can of cookies and asks if George would like one; but Peppa disallows this and George bawls on cue because he loves cookies. Chloe allows just one cookie and George relents and has his chocolate chip cookie. Okay; he is considered the best piggy ever, which might be true. In comes all the pigs with Alex and everyone simply points out the real baby piggy and bails, leaving George in the pram! It is troll on George day...AGAIN! George bawls on cue after being declared by Candy Cat to be sweeter than George. Damn; I never thought Candy would be a troll. (That means Danny Dog is the only non-troll of the group. Swell!) Mummy Pig comes in and consoles him as Daddy Pig gives him Mr. Dinesaur to play with. George recovers and cosplays his dinosaur toy as all the kids scream badly and bail right on cue. George chases them around the adults and Alex in a circle to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Surprisely; Alex didn't cry during that sequence. Character development or continuity sloppiness? You the reader, decide! (BA wasn't excatly thrilled by this either, so character development.) This was one of the better appearances for Baby Alexander, mostly because he really didn't factor much into the episode. *** 1/2 (70%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; this wasn't as low as I thought it would be in terms of shorts. Pirate Island was much better on the second viewing, mostly due to Grandpa Pig being the biggest geek of the week with his toilet seat metal detector and his sleeping on the job. Cuckoo Clock was worse on the second viewing and was legit bad rather than below average. Watching Peppa troll George without scolding just pissed me off, in an episode that could have easily been fun actually. The Long Grass was fun with a stupid finish, Daddy Pig's Office was just fine and inoffensive, and Zoe Zebra's Birthday was really good as well, despite the pointless letter writing stuff. Overall, a mixed bag of shorts that were mostly better except for the one bad episode that was worse. So...

Thumbs down for Cuckoo Clock. Thumbs up for Pirate Island. Thumbs in the middle for the rest and I'll see you all next time.

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