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Twenty Years Of Muddy Puddles: Peppa Pig Series Two #4 Rant

Reviewed: 03/25/2018
Additional Commentary/Edited: 07/17/2024

Daddy Pig Gets Schooled En Français!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. We head back to Series two as we start the next ten episodes of the second series as we do some bicycle riding, ice skating and make dens. Then we debut Rebecca Rabbit' house as Peppa and Suzy have a pretend friend to troll George over, Grandpa Pig debuts the truck with a train motif, go to the dentist, a school bus trip, a nature trail, and the debut of Delphine Donkey schooling Peppa's family about the French language. Yeah; welcome to the Cecily Bloom era of Peppa Pig. How do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley and Mark Baker; except for The Dentist, Dens, Pretend Friend and Pen Pal, which is written by Chris Parker. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Grandpa's Little Train: Moving right along with episode #84 on the animation paper as we head to Grandpa Pig's garden and notice a shack built in the middle of nowhere bouncing around as we hear noises in the background. In come Grandma Pig, Peppa and George as Peppa wonders what is going on. Grandma Pig claims that Grandpa is making something. Out comes Grandpa Pig with a hammer as he has a new toy to demonstrate as he goes back into the shed and opens the double doors on the back. He drives out a car train with two colored carts attached to the back of the train. Oh; and it's not a toy, it's Gertrude. It's not a train; it's a tractor in the motif of a train! Grandpa claims that the thing is a miniture locomotive. (2024 Gregory Weagle Says: That's like Nintendo calling the Nintendo Switch a console when everyone with eyes sees it as a hybrid (and a troll calls it a portable just to assure the system don't count in kicking PlayStation's ass six ways from Sunday), and I can take Nintendo a lot more seriously in the accurancy department when it comes to their product. Also, this won't be the last episode featuring poor Gertrude either.) Grandma Pig asks if it needs railroad tracks to run on and Grandpa Pig toots the whistle and says no. Then it's a tractor with a train motif! There is a hook on the front of the train as Grandpa explains the car wheels and Peppa asks if she and George can ride in the new tractor....ERRR...I mean, miniture locomotive. Grandpa Pig says yes as Grandma Pig puts the kids in the blue cart and Grandpa Pig drives onto the road. Peppa and George giggle as Peppa invokes the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM for a while. Lots of riding on hills and snorting ensue as we see the tow truck of Granddad Dog -- towing what appears to be Grandpa Pig's car -- with Granddad Dog and Danny Dog in the truck. (Grandpa Pig's car is clearly yellow. It appears to be the new car from Series 1!) Both appear to be blocking the road on the meet and greet. Grandpa Pig is deeply offended by Granddad Dog's calling of Gertrude a toy train; and proceeds to call the tow truck "Little Lorie"; which in turn, offends Granddad Dog. (It's actually a lorry, but former self's spelling of this could easily be a perfect insult.) In Britian; a tow truck is called a breakdown truck, which I love as a name. (Why are Granddad Dog and Grandpa Pig best friends, again?!) Danny Dog would like to ride on it and Granddad Dog goes into a long promo before Danny Dog thanks him and gets out of the truck. Danny gets in the train cart with the kids as Grandpa Pig dodges the breakdown truck and rides away. (By the way: The tractor with a train motif is immune to the self-imposed seatbelt rule! Since Grandpa Pig's lawnmover tractor also is immune, that is why Gertude is a tractor with a train motif instead of a miniture locomotive. You get nothing! You lose! Good day, Sir Ham! Geek of the week!)

Cut to the boring road with the blue bus being driven by Miss Rabbit driving it. Basically; it's all of Peppa's friends are in the bus that we have seen thus far. It's the most boring tour bus ride ever with more hills as the sights. The bus stops when the tractor with a train motif arrives. Then we get the following: The kids want to ride on the train. Miss Rabbit asks Grandpa Pig if trains are educational and Grandpa Pig says yes. Miss Rabbit asks for hands up if they want to get on the train and all the kids are popping and raising their arms. Miss Rabbit asks for hands up if they want to stay on the bus and all the kids drop their arms; I'm surprised Pedro Pony didn't just keep his arm up here. Miss Rabbit allows the kids to go on the train and Miss Rabbit will follow them from behind. The kids get into the tractor with a train motif carts and Grandpa Pig drives away stage left as everyone sings a train motif version of "The Wheels On The Bus". Even though this tractor with a train motif has car wheels and the kids were previously on a bus. This goes on for a while as then they stop at a patch of road consumed by a giant muddy puddle. Miss Rabbit wants to go a different route; but Grandpa Pig isn't going to let some mud stop his Gertrude as he drives onto the mud. It splashes and sprays; but somehow doesn't mess up anything. The train makes it across without any problems as Miss Rabbit restarts her bus, proclaims that it can make it and then it dies right in the middle of the muddy puddle. (Sorry Gertude, but Miss Rabbit wins geek of the week honors in this episode!) Miss Rabbit is not happy with this as we get a logic break: Granddad Dog arrives with his breakdown truck. Now; since we saw him earlier, you would think that Granddad would appear from behind, drive around and then park in front of the bus, am I right? Nope! He arrives as if he was going due east and just stops in front of the bus. The breakdown truck would have to be flipped to the opposite side as Granddad Dog hooks up the bus with the tow hook and tries to get Miss Rabbit's bus out of the muddy puddle; but the muddy puddle basically stands it's ground (har har) and mud sprays onto the windshield of the bus. Miss Rabbit uses the wipers to see as she asks if she is not stuck. Granddad Dog says, Miss Rabbit is stuck, basically. The "Little Lorrie" needs more power and here comes Gertrude with Grandpa Pig and the kids in tow. Granddad Dog denies that he needs help; and Miss Rabbit asks for Grandpa Pig's help, causing Granddad Dog to change his mind. Of course! They use the rope hook from the front of the tractor with a train motif and we pull, pull, PULL~! The kids are chanting for it to succeed and Miss Rabbit's bus is now out of the mud! Everyone pops for that as Miss Rabbit calls it an amazing toy train, which offends Grandpa Pig. Peppa proclaims that it's the best train in the world as everyone giggles to end the episode at 4:30 approx. It's certainly the best tractor with a train motif that I have ever seen. (This was better on the second viewing mostly due to Gertude being Gertude and not being a miniture locomotive. I've never seen such an insult in my life! *** 1/2 (70%).)

The Cycle Ride: Here is episode #85 on the animation paper as we begin on the house on the hill and zoom into the kitchen. (It's 8 AM on the clock.) The Pig family is at the kitchen table barely beginning breakfast despite the narrator claiming that they are finishing breakfast. Daddy Pig wants to go out on a cycle ride -- bicycle ride in North America -- and Peppa calls this a good idea. They all bail and we head outside as Peppa has her bicycle as the stablizers are now officially off of the bicycle at this point. George has his tricycle, while Daddy and Mummy Pig are riding a tadem bicycle. There is only ONE song that fits any bicycle riding and Queen always had it's fingers on the pulse of these type of episodes. (Not really. Freddie Mercury basically wrote the song to get as many references to life at the time. Freddie didn't really bicycles and he did love Star Wars despite a lyric saying that he didn't. It was a hodge podge song, methinks!) Sadly for George, George has been DQ'ed from this cycle ride because his legs will get tired; because this is a marathon bicycle ride, not a spirint. Peppa claims that she'll never get tired and she is certain of this BABEE! George has to ride on the back of the tadem bicycle in a banana yellow back seat. Horns are honking and we begin the downhill bicycling, which is the least effort in riding, but the most thrilling and the most dangerous when you are careless. Peppa -- the troll that she is -- is treating this like a race and Daddy Pig has to remind her that it's not a race. (Peppa is not a facist like Donald Trump, so the references have been removed here.) Peppa don't care as they make it to the bottom of the hill and reality strikes Peppa hard as she has to go uphill, which is the least dangerous and most effort in riding; which Peppa is panting and can barely make it up the hill. The tadem bicycle passes Peppa as Daddy Pig laughs at her expense while George gives Peppa a big raspberry on the way up. Peppa is panting and blushing; disliking this. Here's a case of bad acting: When Peppa cut her promo; she spoke normally instead of sounding like she was winded. Cut to the top of the hill as Peppa makes it, but the tadem bicycle wins and Peppa denies that she lost because she stopped racing. (Spoken like a troll who fell on her sword instead of eating the L. Geek of the week!)

Then she stops selling, goes down the next hill, in racing mode once again. And people are shocked that I call her a troll?! Daddy Pig calls her cheeky as they come to the bottom of the hill and cycle past the duck pond; meeting and greeting the ducks. Then we get a really funny moment: Peppa and Daddy Pig bicycle up the next hill, which is much flatter than the previous hill. It's a tandem bicycle; so it means that when two people are bicycling, neither one has to pedal as hard as a bicycle with one person pedaling. Well; somehow, Daddy Pig is pedaling and he's blushing like crazy because somehow the pedaling is becoming extremely hard for him. Then the hill is quite steep and Peppa is blushing again as Daddy Pig is pedaling more and it's getting more and more painful for him. You see, Mummy Pig is not pedaling the bicycle at all because she is looking at the view and no one tells Daddy Pig that Mummy Pig has stopped pedaling. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (We literally saw Mummy Pig lift her legs up clear as day while looking around. She's trolling Daddy Pig to make sure that Daddy Pig wins GEEK OF THE WEEK! Ummm, geek of the week must fall on it's own sword, not get screwed by someone else.) Daddy Pig finally notices and calls her out on it, Mummy Pig apologizes and they make it to the top of the hill; and we see all of Peppa's friends giggling on their bicycles. (Zoe Zebra doesn't have her helmet on. Ooops! She gets it back on the next shot, a ladybug design helmet, too.) Except for Richard Rabbit; because no one cares about him. (Richard: WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAA! George: WAAAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAA!) Danny Dog and Suzy Sheep want a race and Peppa agrees to it as long as it's downhill. Of course! Danny Dog is fine with this as they pedal to the top of the hill. Daddy Pig comes in with the bicycle horn and explains the rules. He honks the horn to demonstrate the rules; and Pedro Pony false starts right on cue with glee. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Yup, this is the first episode where Pedro is booked to be a clueless putz and I'm all in to see it.)

Daddy Pig has to yell at him and Pedro comes back with his bicycle apologizing. That was funny. Then Daddy Pig explains; and foolishly honks the horn and Pedro false starts AGAIN! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Pedro Pony is so cluelessly awesome here. Daddy Pig admits his guilt on this and the next time he honks the horn, we can start. But the kids then claim that he heard him say "go" and they all go; leaving Peppa behind. This was a laughable sequence of events; as no one cares anymore about Daddy Pig's rules. Daddy wants Peppa to go; but Peppa claims that Daddy didn't honk the horn, so Daddy honks the horn multiple times and Peppa rides down the hill. (The star of the show follows Daddy Pig's rules. She is the geek of the week in this episode.) It's Danny Dog, Pedro Pony, Suzy Sheep/Rebecca Rabbit, Emily Elephant, Zoe Zebra, Candy Cat and in last time is Peppa Pig. However; Peppa makes the superpig comeback and passes everyone for the easy win! Yeah. (Danny Dog finishes second to be the plucky guy who cannot win.) Pedro Pony is in third place, nose to nose with Suzy Sheep. Somehow; Zoe Zebra ended up last! (Someone doesn't see Zoe as a kid star, as I thought in Sports Day, Zoe would win a trophy by herself along with Emily, who did win one by herself.) Peppa claims victory as it's home time and all the kids bicycle away in various directions. The tandem bicycle comes in as it's time for Peppa to go home; and now she's complaining about her legs being tired. HAHA! Peppa's mouth wrote a cheeky check her humming bird rear end couldn't cash. All to allow Peppa to ride the tandem bicycle and give us the funny visual of Daddy Pig riding Peppa's bicycle instead. Of course! Peppa honks the horn as the Pig family bicycles stage left to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was great though, mostly due to Pedro being clueless for my pleasure. **** (80%).

Ice Skating: Okay; here is episode #86 on the animation paper as it's winter time at the skating rink outside which we have here in Halifax. It's snowing as everyone except Richard Rabbit is here. (Because screw him, AGAIN! The adults include the second appearance of Dcotor Elephant, who's official debut is in the next episode actually! Also, Mummy Sheep, Granddad Dog, Mummy Cat and Mummy Zebra in her second appearance on this show as well. I guess Miss Rabbit is supervising Rebecca Rabbit in this one. I guess Mummy Rabbit is sick today.) Miss Rabbit has a booth for renting skates of course, because that is what Miss Rabbit does. (Job #47 at this point.) I also love that during the first scene, the Pig family is at the gate and just stands there for no reason, as the scene slowly animates everyone else. Peppa is already trying to convince George that he won't be as good as Peppa in ice skating and Daddy Pig kindly blows it off and thinks everyone will be good. Peppa is claiming that she will be especially good and Daddy Pig laughs at that. (Considering how many times Peppa Pig has been geek of the week, this might be the latest.) We head to the ice skates rental booth where everyone gets their ice skates since you need them to skate according to the narrator. By the way; in North America, you rent out skates. In Britian, you hire skates. So, that means Higher For Hire in Britian would mean "Higher For Rent"?! That made me laugh. (When the reboot comes, if it comes, there will be a British English version of it and I dare them to call it "Higher For Rent".) Cut to the rink with all of Peppa's friends skating pretty well, even Pedro Pony is not half bad at it. He's absent minded, but not clumsy. Peppa has her skates on and she looks like someone who is just getting on the ice for the first time, regardless if she has ice skates on or not. Suzy skates rings around Peppa as Peppa admits that this is her first time skating and no sells needing any help skating. (She is just daring to be the geek of the week, back to back episodes in fact.) Suzy is like "okay" and her friends skate away stage right. Peppa cannot skate to save her life and falls right on her ass as a result. HA! Peppa's friend are giggling at this as Peppa declares this impossible and wants to quit right now. Ice skating, not this show. Daddy Pig comes over to console her and he does the stupidest attempt at intentionally falling on his ass of all time. Even Peppa was calling him silly; so you know he was faking it and not actually clumsy. (Professional hockey player have this happen all the time and skating is important in hockey.)

Cut to the barrier with Mummy Pig and George Pig as Mummy Pig asks George if he would like to skate and George says "no". This is George's first time on the ice and I wonder how this is going to turn up after seeing Swimming. (It's funnier than Daddy Pig doing the most awesome worked dive in diving history!) Mummy Pig has to teach Peppa how to skate as Daddy Pig shows George the art of skating to him. Mummy Pig comes over to Peppa and they hold hands. Mummy Pig tells Peppa to push with your feet and glide. Because it's not the skating that makes you fall on your ass, it's the sudden stop. Push, push, glide and Peppa catches on within seconds. Peppa lets go of Mummy's hand and we push, push, glide as Daddy Pig is impressed. Peppa gets all cocky and starts figure skating and skating around crowds as the adults are pleading with her to slow down and Peppa realizes that she cannot stop since Mummy Pig might be a good teacher, but she forgot to teach Peppa how to stop. (Okay, Mummy Pig is our GEEK OF THE WEEK!) Peppa stops by bumping into all her friends and they topple like bowling pins and Peppa's skates are in an area where she could have easily cut Danny Dog in the throat. That was irresponsbility stupid. (Ah, that's why former self refused to get it higher than **** in good conscience.) Kids giggle anyway as Daddy Pig claims that he taught her how to fall over and Peppa is not thrilled about this, the kids giggle anyway. George is set on the ice as Peppa offers to show George how to skate and George says no. After seeing how cocky Peppa is, I don't blame George. Peppa takes George's hand and they glide over to somewhere. Peppa lets go and goes for the first lesson; but George cuts her off and starts skating like he is a world class figure skater. Peppa is protesting this outrage, but George don't care. The kids are impressed by this as George does a TRIPLE AXEL~! Probably the youngest skater to ever do that, too! Peppa is impressed by this; but George needs to know how to stop, so George stops by shredding ice right into Peppa's kisser! HAHA! The troll just got trolled. This was awesome! (Ah, George knows how to do the facewash. That's awfully disrespectful of you, you naughty piggie!) The adults loved it as Peppa weasel words by claiming he did very well for his first lesson, despite being cut off before the first lesson took place. Everyone loves ice skating as Peppa claims that she taught George. Yeah I'll bet! George does a triple axel, turns around and everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Not as awesome as Swimming; but George is still great while Peppa is still awkward. **** (80%).

The Dentist: Okay; this one took some doing since there were a lot of YTP videos on this one and many of them looked horrible. (While the number of Youtube Poop Episodes of Peppa Pig have increased vastly since this writing, at least the thumbnail pictures are accurately showing you that it is not a legit Peppa Pig episode right from the start. That makes it a lot easier to screen out the videos to find the real episode. Sadly, a lot of the newer legit episodes are combined with older legit episodes, so there's still that to consider.) This is Episode #87 on the animation paper and we open this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM as the Pig Family is in the bathroom. The adults are watching Peppa and George brush their teeth better than I ever could. Lots of bubbles pop when they giggle as Mummy Pig asks if they are ready for their checkup and Peppa claims that she's too busy for a checkup; because she is having a tea party with Teddy. Daddy basically says they need checkups to make sure they are clean and healthy; and Peppa drops Teddy and agrees to go. Just like that! That is so not believable. (The dentist is one of the scariest places to go at first, because the dentist is basically using metal instruments to check your teeth and the pressure can be hellish. Fillings and other repairs are worse, literally putting a needle in your gums to numb them is so torturous that you might as well be in a fight where someone literally punched you in the jaw. And this is coming from someone who uses needles and bloodwork and it almost never affects me, mind you. I can see why this episode in particular was an easy shot for horror writers.) George and Peppa show off their teeth to each other because it's George's first trip to the dentist. Daddy thinks this will be an easy checkup and the kids giggles. We scene change to the middle building with the smiles; just to show that this is the dentist. Apparently; in this town, you are not allowed to show words on your signs as the dentist is between the fruit store and the toy store. (Probably done to make it easier to translate into other countries without having to change the signs. It's a brilliant move if nothing else, and it's a better excuse than saying that kids do not read. Gives mean look at Al Khan.)

I see that this is the first time for rant purposes for Daddy Pony; who is walking with Pedro Pony, voiced by the narrator I should note. (Yeah, this episode was ranted on out of order at the time, and this was clearly an earlier episode I ranted on since "the house on the hill" was not used here.) Suzy Sheep is with Mummy Sheep walking in the opposite direction as we zoom into the waiting room with the Pig Family, Mr. Bull and Mrs. Zebra as most of the adults are sitting down reading magazines. (Mummy Zebra in her third appearance is reading Ezza Magazine. Mr. Bull in maybe his second or third appearance on the show is reading VRRR, a car magazine. I guess this magazine ceased to exist due to it being way too close to VEER which is a cultural arts magazine for Norfolk, Virginia.) Daddy Pig loves Mr. Potato Head for some reason; and Mummy Pig looks at him like this is an unhealthy fetish or something. (The magazine is called SPUD magazine. Which is a legit magazine about potatoes. Yeah, that one went nowhere.) The clock is ticking and Peppa is yawning as Daddy Pig loves potato magazine. Sadly; it makes Mummy Pig yawn, so this might cure insomina. Oh; out comes the nurse -- with green cross on the cap -- and take one guess who is the nurse of this dentist operation? Why; it's none other than Miss Rabbit! Trust me; it's only going to get even more absurd as this show progesses. Her being a nurse is not out of the ordinary. (By the way: Miss Rabbit's clipboard has a paper that is virtually identical to the results of Peppa's eye test! How about that?!) Miss Rabbit informs the Pig Family that Doctor Elephant will see the kids now. (Job #50 at this point, yes siree Billy Bob!) All the Pig family walks in as we see an adult elephant furry with a white pocket coat and red bow tie. Doctor Elephant is voiced by Andy Hamilton and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Hamilton first came to notice while performing at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in the 1970s. In the mid-1970s he sustained himself by taking jobs at Harrods and the Post Office before joining the BBC in 1976.[3] His early radio work, mostly on BBC Radio 4 included Week Ending, The News Huddlines and The Million Pound Radio Show (with Nick Revell).

He has since appeared regularly in Chelmsford 123, Have I Got News for You, The News Quiz, QI, and If I Ruled the World. Hamilton is frequently invited as a panellist on The News Quiz and as a guest panellist on I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue. He is the voice of Dr Elephant, the dentist in the children's show Peppa Pig. He was also the original voice of Bob Fish, who is also a dentist, in the cartoon Bob and Margaret. Hamilton is also voice of Captain Squid, the pirate in the children's show Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom. On 16 March 2007, he co-presented BBC Radio 4's Woman's Hour programme alongside usual presenter Martha Kearney as part of that day's Comic Relief fundraising activities, after defeating Richard Hammond and Kelvin MacKenzie in a poll. Since 1995, Hamilton has written and played the lead role of Satan in the Radio 4 sitcom Old Harry's Game. He toured with his UK stand-up show Hat of Doom in 2008. In 2009, Hamilton presented the BBC Four series It's Only a Theory with Reginald D. Hunter. BBC Radio 4 broadcast the first of a four-part series, Andy Hamilton Sort of Remembers, in October 2017; the series comprised the topics of childhood, politics, the human body, and animals, based on his own personal experiences of them.[4] He began his career as a writer on The Dawson Watch, The Two Ronnies and The Marti Caine Show in 1979; and started as Dream Interpreter in Chelmsford 123 in 1988. Electio Spy is his most recent credit as a writer and Have I Got News For You as himself as an actor. He has 31 Writing credits, 6 Producer credits, 9 Director credits, 14 Acting credits, 1 Misc credit, 1 Art Director credit, 24 Self credits, and 4 Archive Footage credits to his resume. Doctor Elephant greets the kids as Peppa proclaims that she has brushed her teeth every day. I can believe that as Peppa sits in the chair and we begin the examination of Peppa's teeth with the tiny mirror on a stick. (In dentisty, it is called a mouth mirror. ) By the way: Mr. Dinesaur (sic) has yellow teeth, so if you cannot guess who hasn't been brushing it's teeth and is about to getting a cleanup, you have no business reading this rant. (In dentisty, it is often called a Recall.)

Wooden tongue depenser gets involved as Doctor Elephant asks about the sweets of doom and I have no idea what Peppa is saying because there's a goddamn wooden depenser in her mouth. Her teeth sparkle as the doctor finishes the checkup and Peppa has a clean bill of health teeth wise and of course Daddy Pig takes the credit for it. (Thankfully, Peppa didn't get her teeth scraped, that is the worst of the torture.) Now; it's time for the FLOURIDE RINSE OF DEATH; which is called the pink drink here since flouride is considered a scary word in pre-school shows. (Because if you don't understand how chemistry works and the "dose is the poison" (which this show actually understands in storyline), then it's scary. Otherwise, not so much.) Unlike the nip of sherry; this one actually annoys me a lot since it's only embolden quackery in many people. (In context, former self was talking about a tradition of Christmas in Britian, which in many different countries are vastly different compared to the USA and Canada. It's better explained in the upcoming Peppa VS. World rant, but it should still be available in the Christmas DVD set I ranted on this very website.) Don't drink it, you only have to put it in the mouth, splish splash and spit it out; which Peppa does. (Just wait until Health Check and they talk about the vaccines, which in a vacuum is awesome...until you find out that Peppa has actul storybooks for children to read and realize just how much of a coward the creators were when it came to vaccination, basically apeasing the anti-vax, when the anti-vax crew sees vaccines as evil monsters.) Peppa jumps down and it's George's turn and George says no. He says it in a firm and blunt way; like he's giving informed consent or something. Even though George (and Peppa) are too young to understand what consent is, let alone informed consent. Mummy Pig allows George to hold onto his dinosaur toy during the checkup and George instantly accepts and sits in the chair. Damn; I wish big children's cartoons were like this, at least we wouldn't have ten minutes of avoiding the dentist, just for the sake of a cheap joke that doesn't catch, even with the big children audience. Doctor Elephant meets and greets the dinosaur toy and Peppa cannot resist being a buzzkill by claiming that George's dinosaur is plastic. I'm shocked George didn't bawl on cue there, since that was a case of brown nosing on the part of Peppa.George is in the chair as the doctor pushes the red button conveniently placed on the floor and the chair raises up.

Doctor wants to check the teeth of George; but George refuses to open his mouth. Peppa then shows George how to open his mouth and George smirks before opening his mouth. Doctor uses the tongue depenser and mirror to check the teeth. Literally five seconds later; the doctor is done and George has a clean bill of health on his teeth. Normally; this would be the end of the episode; but there is still a minute and a half left in the episode. (Normally, Cartoon Duck Syndrome is a bad thing, but the finish they did was glorious!) George's teeth sparkle on the zoom in shot as Peppa has to make it about her teeth since she's the star of this show. By the way; when George is standing on the chair; no one gurgles pink drink better than George Pig. Yes; one time, I almost called him George Pie. (A character from the Battletoads pilot; which is another show I reviewed a few years ago.) George spits and the drink is flushed as he jumps down. But wait; and yes Doctor almost says the exact same thing I said! Mr. Dinesaur appears to have dirty teeth as Miss Rabbit asks what is wrong. Doctor Elephant claims that the Pig family has taken care of their teeth, but the toy dinosaur George carries has very yellow teeth. Sadly; they aren't crooked as hell; so I can get a Ric Flair cheapshot in. (What makes this hilarious is that the yellow isn't from plaque, it's from paint.) By the way; in the US we say "angry" or "mad"; in Britian they say "cross". Which Doctor Elephant is not; because Mr. Dinesaur is in the office and can get his teeth clean. I wonder what the rate is for non-human being/non-anthro/inanimate object in terms of a teeth cleaning?! Miss Rabbit brings out the out of nowhere kart containing the water jet cleaning system of cleaniness and sprays cleaning water into the dinosaur toy's mouth. Yes; even inanimate objects are not immune to dirty teeth. In comes the POLISHER OF DOOM which looks like a hair combing device on a pully as it torments the poor teeth until they turn white. George then pours pink drink into the dinosaur's mouth and shakes well -- but doesn't stir -- and pours the mouth of the dinosaur toy to spit out the pink drink; and we flush. Miss Rabbit loves the teeth as George cosplays with Mr. Dinesaur, Peppa squeaks and George chases her throughout the office. Everyone laughs to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Cleaning Mr. Dinesaur's teeth is one of the biggest reasons why I love this show: It's so stupid; yet so funny. **** (80%).

Dens: Here is episode #88 on the animation paper and the episode opens with Peppa and George running in the garden with their boots on, so there is a 50% chance that a muddy puddle will be involved before this episode ends. They run through the garden; but somehow not stomp on any of the veggies growing in said garden. Grandpa and Grandma Pig are watching on as the kids are at the treehouse. They head into the treehouse, close the door and giggle inside. I thought DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS~!) were that you had to take off your boots before going into the treehouse?! They love the treehouse, and in comes Suzy Sheep, Zoe Zebra, Rebecca and Richard Rabbit with helmets on on their wheels. They all have their boots on as Suzy likes the treehouse and asks if they can come in, Peppa says "yes" and the kids all come in to cosplay a tea party which has only four tea cups. If you can guess who is not invited to this tea party, you probably know that this is sexist. Even more so because it's cosplaying. (Yeah, and this is going to take a long while still before they got this crap out of their systems. One of the pitfalls of showing the early episodes first.) You can imagine a tea cup without one being physically there. Oh; and here comes more uninvited guests from the east: Danny Dog and Pedro Pony. They ask if they can come in and Peppa says no. Now; if the treehouse is crowded -- if she said that there's no more room -- that would be at least believable. Nope; her reason is because boys are not allowed in the treehouse. Yes; Richard and George are girls now. Bigot. Apparently; boys are awful, so yes; rigid gender roles do apply in this show if it hasn't been made obvious to everyone watching this show already. Danny and Pedro rightfully point out the fatal flaw in Peppa's logic and even Peppa realizes this. Instead of inviting the boys; she and Rebecca force George and Richard out. Peppa and the girls shut the door; Richard and George bawl in stereo and those tears aren't so salty in a cartoon as they are in real life. In comes Grandpa Pig asking what is going on and Pedro explains that the girls are acting like bigots. Grandpa Pig motions them to come over to something because he has an idea. I think we can guess where this is going as we cut back to the girls inside cosplaying their tea party. Peppa thinks this tea party will be nice and quiet; but suddenly we hear banging sounds. Peppa looks out and notices that Grandpa Pig has built a castle motif treehouse for the boys. He couldn't just build the same treehouse that the girls were using, it had to be totally different. I don't think fighting bigotry with bigotry works out well, Grandpa Pig. The castle also has a cross on top as the girls come out. They ask if they can come in and Danny Dog no sells and locks up the castle as all the boys are on the rampart top. Did I mention that this den has an actual drawbridge?! Danny claims that the castle is for boys only. Inverting the bigotry doesn't usually work Danny Dog. Just so you would like to know. Zoe loves castles; but Peppa blows off the castle and the girls simply walk back into their treehouse, scoffing it.

Grandpa Pig turns the second crank -- yes; there is a second crank in this castle -- and that brings up a pirate flag. Hey; in TaleSpin, there were Air Pirates (Sky Pirates in Ducktales 2017). Why not a Pirate Castle?! (Danny calling himself the king of the castle is hilarious now that I realize that he's a plucky guy who cannot win.) Suzy loves flags and Peppa blows it off as pointless; and then Grandma Pig walks in and now they want a flag in unison. Talk about full gear reverse in ten seconds! Grandma Pig bails to find out that might be better than the boy's flag as we cut to Danny Dog being the king of the castle. Does that mean that Pedro is the dirty rascal since the writers are untouchable in this show?! (No, that's for Peppa Pig.) Grandpa Pig has the tin can string telephone on retainer, just in case. Danny and Peppa are given each side of the can and they blow each other off because there is nothing to discuss. They blow raspberries and this episode is falling apart. Grandma Pig comes back with a flower pink dress on a flagpole and gives it to Peppa; which Peppa likes. The other girls blow Peppa off because the flag sucks and they indirectly admit that this sexism sucks and blows at the same time. (This is where the episode turned around for me and became fun to watch.) Suzy contacts Danny and admits that the castle is the best; and that means Suzy, Rebecca and Zoe are allowed in the castle now. Peppa blows them off proclaiming that she is staying in the treehouse because rigid gendered roles can kiss her ass while she is kicking them. Even though, she was the one who claimed that the treehouse is for girls only. Then it starts to rain as Peppa is smiling and heads back inside the treehouse. Since the castle has no roof; Pedro wants to return to the treehouse and Danny no sells the deal. Everyone turns on Danny and Peppa simply opens the door and lets everyone else in, leaving Danny Dog high and wet. (Danny Dog is our GEEK OF THE WEEK! Even Pedro Pony had a clue here.) Okay; this finish is great! The rain has stopped and there are muddly puddles everywhere. Hmmm; I wonder how this episode is going to end?! George runs out and starts jumping up and down in a muddy puddle. All the other kids likes this and follow suit, except for Peppa and Danny Dog who are yelling that they are staying in their homes. This is what bigotry can do to ya! The grandparents have their umbrellas on each house and they agree to guard the dens with their umbrellas because this bigotry is boring to them and me. Peppa and Danny runs out and join the muddy puddle jumpers to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Started off really shaky; but the finish managed to make the episode go past average. This is way far from Boys VS Girls in "Teen Titans Go" in terms of stink; so call it (Once Suzy admitted that using a dress as a flag is dumb, the whole bigotry angle stopped in it's tracks and the payoff was Danny Dog looking like the big loser that he is. That means it's *** 1/2 (70%).)

Pretend Friend: Time for episode #89 on the animation paper and we open this episode on the house on the hill as Suzy Sheep and Mummy Sheep arrive in their car. Yes, they park the car on the steepest side of the hill, because that is a gimmick of this show. Out comes Suzy Sheep with her cheese colored spotted ball as she runs downhill to meet with Peppa. I see the cheese reporter is a friend of Suzy. (I think this is the only time that the spotty ball had a platette swap.) She introduces Leo Lion; who doesn't exist. You see, Leo Lion is a pretend friend. Remember that Suzy Sheep doesn't have a brother and it's heavily implied that Suzy's mother is single. This is usually a sign that Suzy's real friends have disappointed her, which is not a good sign for the Peppa/Suzy friendship. (Again, they are setting up The Quarrel very nicely. Sadly, the payoff wasn't as good as the writers had hoped.) Suzy giggles as we play catch with the pretend friend; which ends rather awkwardly. Suzy claims that Leo hates playing catch. Peppa asks what does Leo like and Suzy claims that he likes to roar. When kids do this pretend stuff; it is merely silly because they have no real power. When adults without power do it; it's even sillier and sometimes a psychological issue that needs to be ironed out. (As long as it does no harm, it's merely silly.) When a person in power tries it; it's dangerous and intervention is the sensible thing to do to contain it so it never gets out of control. When a person in power with no expertise does this; it's Donald Trump and everyone is screwed. (Wow, you are predicting a lot of political stuff in 2024, former self. Are you sure, you are not Suzy Sheep in a unattractive chud like disguise?!) Suzy literally has to roar in Leo's place, which kills off the illusion of the angle right there. Peppa has figured this out and Suzy is in denial mode claiming it was Leo. Even little kids wouldn't buy into this now; but Suzy is the one in control in this relationship; so Peppa must play along. Peppa asks if they can be friends and Leo apparently nodded his head yes and the two girls like this. This is just silly as hell; but they are four years old, so it's harmless. Mummy Pig calls Suzy and Peppa inside to have some fruitcake. Yes; THAT fruitcake as Peppa and Suzy run into the kitchen with the ball.

Everyone sits down and gets what looks like giant cheese slices with green and red cherries within the cake. That is a giant fruitcake Mummy Pig has there. Of course; Peppa and Suzy play their mind games about Leo the pretend friend Lion's presence and of course Mummy Pig has to play along; lest she is accused of punching down on the kids. (Mummy Pig literally said "I see", even though we saw nothing. That made me laugh.) Yes; even with pretend friends, Peppa speaks for them and Suzy rightfully blows her off for it. Leo only answers to Suzy; you see. Suzy then claims Leo prefers chocolate cake; out trolling Peppa. HA! Mummy doesn't have chocolate cake. Suzy cosplays and decides that Leo will try a little of it; which Mummy Pig gives, which is the same size slice as the real friends. Suzy and Peppa eat their slices of fruitcake like a bunch of messy animals. George and Mr. Dinesaur run in and sits in the middle chair where the pretend friend is and taunting Suzy with the toy dinosaur in the process. Peppa is yelling at George because he's sitting on Leo Lion you see. Peppa grabs George as the narrator explains it all. Now, for those of you who think that Peppa is the only troll in this show; Suzy growls for no reason at all and George bawls his eyes on cue. Suzy finds a way out of this, by claiming that Leo Lion cannot finish his fruitcake; so George can have it instead, which to the smartass is an admission that Suzy is well aware that her friend is not real. George bails with the slice of fruitcake and munches on it as Suzy and Peppa confuse each other with what Leo Lion wants to do now. (The fact that the "wah-wah" cue is played everytime Peppa speaks for Leo, is a sign of how absurd this angle is.) Apparently; Leo Lion loves to play dress up. All right. Suzy and Peppa bail and teleport into Peppa and George's bedroom and throw away toys in the basket like a bunch of Wuzzles. Peppa is playing the fairy which is the same character she played in Best Friend; by the way. Suzy wants to be crowned queen and Peppa is all fine with that. Peppa wants Leo to play the fool; but Suzy will have none of that; because he wants to be the king, according to her. (Yeah, playing the jester fool is George's gimmick!) This pretend friend has no sense of agency; which is what reality is when they are not real. When people talk about what God would do to it's enemies; it's often what the person making the claim would do if they weren't such cowards and the law would allow them.

In comes Daddy Pig just so Peppa can be seen as a big tool in the process with that white tiara crown on her head. Of course, Daddy Pig bows and plays along, because they are kids; what can you do? Apparently; Daddy Pig thinks he can see Leo's mane and Suzy claims that he wears red pants; which in Britian, they are called trousers. I note this because localization teams at Nintendo often change pants to trousers in European English translations. Peppa then trolls Suzy again by claiming that Leo is wearing a blue jumper dress (Simply a sweater in North America, although a jumper in North America is known as a pinafore dress.), which Suzy blows that suggestion off. It's his best green shirt according to Suzy. Peppa either cannot see green colors; or she's just trolling again. After reading this website, I assume she's trolling. What a shocker?! Mummy Pig walks in and inform everyone that all of Peppa's friends are outside giggling; including Candy Cat, Emily Elephant, Danny Dog, Rebecca Rabbit, Pedro Pony and Zoe Zebra. (Again, no Richard Rabbit in spite of George's appearance.) Oh; and everyone is wearing their boots as well, which completely gives away the finish well in advance. General rule of this show: If there is no snow and boots are worn; that means that it's time to jump up and down in muddy puddles. DING! This time from Pedro Pony. Of course! (What a fool I am?!) Everyone runs down the hill; except for the adults as Suzy holds the crown; while everyone jumps up and down in muddy puddles. DING! Sadly; Leo Lion isn't jumping, so Daddy Pig has a spare set of red boots for him, just in case. I have heard of milking the gimmick; but this is absurd. Suzy puts the boots on the muddly puddle and they simulate the pretend friend jumping up and down in muddy puddles with Peppa holding his crown. I'm sorry; but this is not as hilarious as the real queen jumping up and down in muddy puddles. But that will NEVER happen on this show. HEEHEEHEEHEEHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~! POW! OUCH! Ummm...Didn't know Peppa Pig was so violent. Suzy roars as Mummy and Daddy Pig join in as everyone loves to jump up and down in muddy puddles. Well; except moral guardians, but they can piss off for all I care. Suzy roars some more and that ends the episode at 4:30 approx. This was so fun; but so stupid at the same time that I was sobbing with laughter, so **** (80%).

School Bus Trip: It's time for Episode #90 as we head to the Playgroup School on the hill as everyone from adult to child is there. (All the adults are women, so Daddy Pig doesn't appear. Mummy Zebra has her third appearance on this show. Also, Mummy Cat is here, but not Candy Cat. What gives, show?!) The children are hopping up and down giggling as the blue bus has arrived. Guess who is driving the bus?! Come on, guess; it's too shocking. It's...Antonio Inoki~! POW! OUCH! Ummm...Oh wait; it's...Miss Rabbit! (Job #69: NOT NICE, SHOW~!) Oh wait; someone is missing. It's An...oh yeah; Pedro and Mummy Pony. Madam Gazelle uses the red megaphone which causes the kids to stop on cue. Every child has their luggage ready. We do roll call to waste some time as the bus door opens as this is a really unusual bus, even in Britian as I discover that rabbits squeak. I think the Rabbit family does the least amount of animal sounds in this show; with the Pig family obviously doing the most, since they are the biggest stars of their own show. Emily bellows as loud and strongly as Daddy Pig snorts I should note. Richard Rabbit is sitting with George and Suzy and Peppa are sitting at the back of the bus. Madame Gazelle calls for Pedro Pony and of course he's not here. Oh dear; here comes one of the most saddest things about Pedro Pony: He's completely absent-minded. For those who complain about Daddy Pig being an idiot; Pedro might actually be worse in that regard. Mainly because; Daddy Pig is compentent; I have seen it. He just has one brainfart and he panics. Pedro brainfarts and is made to look like a joke in every scene that he is in. Also, it's going to get more obvious as the series races on. It's so sad to watch at times. In comes Mummy Pony and Pedro Pony -- with luggage -- panting as they apologize for almost missing the school trip; but since they made it before the bus left; all is right with Pedro's world. At least for now. Miss Rabbit has a rope pulling bell that she rings as Pedro and Gazelle get in after Miss Rabbit yells all aboard. We drive the bus down the hill while the adults say "see you later" and that is that. The bus rides down the boring road and the kids have to giggle to make this more interesting. What a sad road this show has?! Gazelle yells into the megaphone to quiet them down and they are more behaved than any students, even in junior high on the bus.

Gazelle explains that this is a bus trip to the mountains; as everyone cheers for it. Yeah; everything amuses them, why am I not surprised?! They all have their lunch boxes and Peppa channels Chargeman Ken in wanting lunch now; but Gazelle is more kind than Nagisa and they eat when they arrive at the mountains. Peppa and Suzy have blank stares and then Suzy breaks the ice and asks what Peppa has in her lunch box. Peppa has a yellow lunch box and Suzy has a aqua green lunch box; as Suzy has a green apple and Peppa has a red apple; and they swap apples. Why? Why not?! Why do they have to whisper yell though? I'm guessing swaping lunches is not allowed on this bus trip; due to allergies, I guess. Of course; like morons, they eat the apple instead of putting it into their boxes and closing the lids; which Gazelle notices. They are so BUSTED~! Peppa invokes the pointy finger of death claiming Suzy made her open the lunchbox. I shake my head in thinking how anyone can be fooled by this. Yes; Peppa trolls her best friend and Suzy trolls back. Gazelle is more amused by this than anything else and tells them to save the food for the mountains; and the kids close up the lunch boxes. Yes; no consequence, although them eating one apple, I suppose doesn't hurt. All the kids giggle as the bus has arrives at the foot of the mountains and it's time to ride up the mountain. I don't know where Miss Rabbit gets her buses, but this one needs a serious tune up; because it is creaking like mad! Miss Rabbit isn't even sure the bus can get up; so the kids yell that this bus can do it and it gets over the mountain with no tension or suspense. Sigh. (This would be the second time they did this spot.) We are on top of the summit as the bus stops at the end of the road. (Complete with Swiss horn music!) Everyone gets out; and there is no sign of wind or anyone shivering even though they are on a mountain. This is some weak sauce mountain they are on. There are picnic tables in the foreground and a steel fence to indicate a look off; which is where the kids and Gazelle head to. Gazelle loves the view and Peppa is in such awe that her voice echoes like mad. Sadly; no avalanches occur, that would have been amusing. Gazelle demonstrates this by yodeling; so she is from Switzerland. (Nope, she's from...I'll wait.) Peppa's yodeling is gleefully absurd I should note as the kids giggle and then the kids do their animal sounds just to create the most echo-type noise pollution I have ever heard.

It's time for the picnics as everyone loves picnics. The kids run to the tables and sit down eating their lunches. In an odd move; Peppa, George and Danny Dog are eating lunch together, while Suzy is with Zoe and Pedro. Of course; we have round three of the "ducks appear at picnics" angle; although Danny tries to act like this would never happen. (Making him the GEEK OF THE WEEK~!) Of course; it happens and it's time to recklessly feed the animals food designed for humans and anthros only; just to annoy me further. They eat far too much and they squeak and burp; the kids giggle, it was not funny; it was sad and tragic. Don't feed the animals unless you know what they can handle! Ask a biologist for goodness sakes. I'm certain bread is not good for ducks. (This is actually just the second time Peppa and company have actually fed the ducks so far on this show.) Thankfully; Miss Rabbit rings the bus bell to end this and calls for them to go in the bus because it's home time. The kids and Gazelle run into the bus and sit down in their seats. Somehow; there was no trash or bread at the picnic area. I guess the ducks eat the rest off-screen. We head down the mountain and it's much smoother this time as the kids giggle in unison. We have about thirty seconds left as Gazelle wants to sing a song. Oh; this should be fun to mock! (Yes folks, here it comes, get ready...) Peppa wants the Bing-Bong song and Gazelle is all like "No, don't"; but since the kids all say "please"; Gazelle has to sing the Bing-Bong song as he brings out an out of nowhere guitar and we sing the Bing-Bong song. I hate to say this; but the singers on this show are much more compelling at singing than Phil Baron could ever be. Mainly because, the voices know how to ham it up and make the song sound completely absurd. Everyone sings after Gazelle sings the first chorus and this set up to be a karoke song. HAHA! (Sadly, the video I used earsed the lyrics at the bottom od the screen.) The secret weapon to drive Ed Brayton from Dispatches From The Culture Wars away from this show actually. The kids all giggle and that ends the episode at 4:30 approx. I love that song. (Pedro Pony suddenly gets inspired...) I don't love feeding animals. I don't know. Split the difference. I go with *** 1/2 (70%). One final note: the additional voices for the song they sang were: Aduke Adeyeye, Annalee Allwood, Ayo Animashaun, Abigail Coates, Hajra Gulamrassul and Lois Tape. None of them worked past Peppa Pig. A trend to say the least.

Rebecca Rabbit: Here is episode #91 on the animation paper as we head to the house on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as there are two cars side by side on the western side of the hill. Zoom into Peppa's bedroom as we see Peppa, George, Rebecca and Richard running around in a circle as the boys are chasing the girls with their dinosaur toys and causing everything to shake. In comes Mummy Rabbit as it's home time for the Rabbit family and Rebecca asks Mummy Rabbit if George and Peppa would like to come to their house. Mummy Rabbit is perfectly fine with this and we head downstairs; and suddenly, Richard is on the top of the stairs and he bawls his eyes out right away. You see, Richard is afraid of going downstairs because there are no stairs in the Rabbit family house. I was thinking that maybe their house was a one story house with a basement and attic. Well, HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~! Peppa is confused as Mummy Rabbit grabs Richard and walks down the stairs as they wave farewell to each other. The Rabbit family gets into their blue car and drives down the hill as the night literally lasts five seconds as it's morning. A rooster crows as the door opens and the Pig Family comes in and gets in the car. Mummy Pig is driving and Daddy Pig is doing the map reading and holding it upside down...AGAIN! (Daddy Pig's seatbelt warps in when he gets in by the way.) I prefer men at least trying to read maps and failing, rather than men refusing directions, acting like toxic macho men and causing other people getting hurt or worse. I'm just saying. Daddy Pig assures us that he won't screw this up again and we drive down the hill and onto the boring road. Peppa is flicking her feet around as she asks if they are there yet and Daddy Pig claims that it's on the next hill and they go up the hill and find holes on the hill and a small carrot garden, but no house. Because you see, the Rabbit family's home is underground since every stereotypical cartoon rabbit in the world has to live underground. I would have thought TaleSpin would shatter that stereotype, but cartoons still do this stuff, I guess. Mummy Pig accuses Daddy Pig of being lost; even though he was clearly not because we zoom out and clearly see windows on this hill in clear sight. (Yup, Daddy Pig for once got it right. It's just the house is not what it seems to be.)

Out of one of the holes comes Rebecca Rabbit squeaking along with Richard Rabbit. We meet and greet as Rebecca finally explains to Peppa that this is a burrow; so the hill is their house. Once again; the car is flipped in the opposite direction off-screen as the adult pigs leave and they wave farewell to them for now. Everyone dives into the burrow as we cut to a sort of dark tunnel which is shaped like the top of a rib cage. We take the western tunnel and head to Rebecca's room which is basically Peppa's bedroom in reverse and with a cave motif. (Rebecca's "Teddy" is a plush carrot with eyes. That made me laugh.) Peppa then wishes that she was a rabbit and Rebecca offers to teach them how to be rabbits, because the house thing has been paid off and we have to waste time being a different spieces. This involves twitching your nose and squeaking. Peppa and George pass with flying colors and then Rebecca shows off a carrot because rabbits love carrots. Umm; cartoon rabbits love carrots because cartoon rabbits are anthros and that means "part human". Carrots are good for humans and can eat them in normal doses. Too many of them can be harmful (more than three large carrots) in the context of causing discoloration of the skin making it look yellow or orange. (Dose, poison.) This is not the same in a normal real rabbit diet. Rabbits don't naturally eat root vegetables/fruit. Carrots/fruit are high in sugar and should only be fed in small amounts as occasional treats. Rabbits need mainly hay and/or grass, some leafy greens and a small, measured amount of pellets. They can eat the top leaves of the carrot; but not the carrot itself. Of course, the dose is the poison and a rabbit's dose is the poison is different from a human. See the chocolate/dog analogy I made in an earlier rant. (Which is in fact coming up next I do believe.) If Rebecca was feeding real rabbits with carrots; I would be annoyed beyond belief, but her eating it is perfectly fine because she's an anthromorphic character. Rebecca also eats the tops of carrots as she hands one to Peppa and George.

Peppa is fine with this; but George hates carrots, so it was making the veggies like a dinosaur that motivated him to eat it. Join the club, George! (George does have some rabbit company when it comes to not eating carrots. Little Reggie Rabbit. Oh, that dood is glorious!) Richard steals it and eats it; making George look like a carrot-hater. Next up; it's hopping time as we have the kids run through the maze tunnel and out onto the hill as we do a lot of hopping for a while. Sadly; Peppa and George can barely get off the ground, while Rebecca and Richard hop way off the ground, about four feet in the air at least. Mummy Pig pops out as it's lunchtime and everyone heads to the table with Mr. Rabbit in a rare appearance! (I believe this is his second appearance on this show at this point.) They are all having carrots as everyone sits down and exchanges notes; which is far better than exchanging thoughts and prayers. (Ooooo, this is a sick burn on the religious ammosexual out there, former self.) Only George is not happy about this and pushes his plate aside. Mr. Rabbit goes over and says that he thought he was a rabbit because rabbits love carrots. It's anthro rabbits who love carrots, you moron! George forks one carrot and nibbles on it; and then instantly changes his mind and loves carrots now. I should also note that excessive amounts of carrots can cause liver damage via overdosing Vitamin A, in addition to the sugar levels. Pigs can tolerate carrots better than rabbits, dose is the poison wise. Peppa is happy about this as Mummy Pig brings out a carrot cake which has whole carrots sticking in the cake. Leave it to Mummy Rabbit to overkill the obvious here. (Yeah, no one puts whole carrots into carrot cake as it's 1 PM in the afternoon.) I think "carrot cake" is one of the few terms George has been able to say properly without some funny pronouncation of it. Rebecca believes that George is now a rabbit for real as George squeaks on cue. Everyone laughs as we zoom out out of the hill to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Annoying rabbit feeding mistips aside; this was another fun episode. *** 1/4 (65%).

Nature Trail: We continue on with Episode #92 on the animation paper; and we begin with the Pig Family in their car driving on a boring road to the east. Yes; Daddy Pig is driving on the right side of the road on the right side of the car. The narrator explains that they are seeing the countryside as the family talks about seeing wild animals. George thinks there is a dinesaur in this nature adventure; sadly, there will be none. Peppa somewhat kindly blows him off as everyone giggles. We head into the forest as the car stops in front of a yellow recycling can (In Canada; they are usually blue) with a directional post and a wooden fence with wooden gate. Everyone jumps out with the adults wearing colored backpacks as Mummy Pig tells Daddy Pig not to forget the picnic stuff. Daddy goes to the back and opens it to reveal a picnic basket with food and drink; and also a blanket. Peppa wants Daddy Pig to channel Dora The Explorer as Daddy Pig brings out the map and they all follow each other into the nature trail; and of course, Daddy Pig forgets the picnic stuff. Like I said before; Daddy Pig brainfarts a lot in this show. Scene change into the forest with the Pig Family as Peppa is dragging Teddy and already bored out of her skull. Lots of boring trees in her eyes as Mummy nicely blows her off for not trying hard enough. Peppa retorts that one for me; and then sees bird footprints on the ground. Peppa wonders about what made them and George claims it's Dinesaur (sic). Sadly; George would have to be in front of Peppa...oh wait, he was. Is George trolling on Peppa?! No. Mummy Pig wants to follow these footprints as Peppa yells with glee; so Mummy kindly tells her to be quiet because we don't want to scare anyone away. Peppa and George quiet each other and we then practice the fine art of quiet walking; which is not working out well since Peppa is giggling. (Peppa's whisper yell is so much better than most characters doing it.) They notice a green bird pecking the ground and the bird flies into the air and lands in a nest on a large branch at a large tree which is seen by Daddy Pig with the binoculars. Daddy gives Peppa the binoculars and she sees the mother bird is gone; but three baby bird heads show up popping from the nest. Mother bird comes back with a worm after Peppa ponders over what they are eating. Peppa is repulsed and disgusted with this as the adults laugh at her response. (This is the same Peppa Pig who has cosplayed worms and later on in Series 3, literally touched one.) George then notices more footprints as he and Peppa walk towards them; Peppa still has the binoculars on.

Since they are tiny footprints; they are being made by black ants. Bigot. The ants are carrying leaves and they dive into DA...HOLE (Slurp!) as Peppa and Daddy Pig joke about salad; which reminds Mummy Pig reminds Daddy Pig about the picnic; and there's Daddy Pig blushing, because he brainfarted...AGAIN! Mummy Pig is not amused as Daddy suggests returning to the car to eat; and Daddy turns around with the map and doesn't WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE~! This is what happens when you panic; you lose your focus and do you stupid things. He's under stress because he brainfarted; not because he's incompentent. Daddy's glasses are maladjusted now as since the tree is not on the map; they are officially lost, complete with zoom out shot. Peppa thinks there's no hope; but George has found some human shoe footprints as Peppa thinks it's a real dinosaur since George is still saying dinesaur; just to play misdirection on Peppa. Daddy Pig proclaims that these are their footprints; and they just have to follow them to return to the car. They follow the footprints backwards as Daddy Pig proclaims that they are home and dry and then it rains. HAHA! Daddy Pig didn't see that one coming; although compared to most people who say that, even I thought the writers would not make Daddy Pig look like an idiot here, but they did. Mummy Pig brings the umbrella; but the rain has washed away the evidence. The footprints, everyone as the Pig family is screwed. But; wait! Here comes three yellow ducks quacking as Peppa notices them right away. This is I believe, the first time for rant purposes, the debut of the picnic ducks angle on this show. Everytime; a picnic is involved, these ducks show up. While the gimmick itself is all right; I do have a complaint about this angle. Daddy Pig apologizes for not having a picnic for them to enjoy. Peppa asks the ducks to find their picnic; the ducks quack to say "yes" and the family follows the duck out of the nature trail and back to their car.

Daddy brings out the picnic equipment as everyone pops for it. Jump cut to the family having their sandwiches, watermelon and fizzy soda water for fun. Daddy Pig loves picnics as we get to the complaint I have: Peppa Pig is feeding the ducks pieces of bread with Mummy Pig feeding the birds with pieces of French bread. The ants all steal food; including an hard boiled egg and a slice of pizza. Okay; let me explain why this really annoys me: I may have mentioned this in another rant; but the "Too Long, Don't Care" version is as follows: Don't feed the animals unless you have knowledge on a animal's diet! The long version: The food you eat is fit for humans (I'll give a free pass to anthros/furries since they are part human and thus can get away with such stuff.) for the most part (There are situations where some foods can cause allergies even in some human beings.); but there is no assurances that it's safe for animals because every animal disgestion system is different from humans. Feeding bread to ducks is considered a bad idea because it stunts their flying abilities. Dogs can get sick from eating chocolate. Even if humans are considered animals; that doesn't mean our bodies are the same as animals; and animals have different bodies and systems. It's the complexity of nature. So; if you want to feed the animals; consult an animal biologist beforehand, so you know the facts about the eating habits of other animals since they are not the same as humans! To feed the animals recklessly on a pre-school show is a bad idea. Just don't feed them, okay?! Just be careful out there, okay?! (Yeah, this is the third time they have fed the ducks and the second in the last three episodes. Needless to say, this is going to end badly for everyone and I do mean everyone.) Everyone loves picnics as everyone except the ants do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. I would have liked this more; if they refrained from feeding the animals; so ** 3/4 (55%).

Pen Pal: This is Episode #93 on the animation paper and we begin on the Playgroup School on the hill as Madame Gazelle is inside with the children sitting down. Sadly; George is not at Playgroup for some reason I do not know of. Peppa Pig, Suzy Sheep, Candy Cat, Danny Dog, Zoe Zebra, Pedro Pony, Rebecca Rabbit and Emily Elephant in that order watch on as Madame Gazelle is showing a picture of what appears to be her daughter as she asks who would like a pen pal and everyone wants to be a pen pal. Peppa stands up and now is confused. Gazelle explains the rules of a pen pal and shows off a donkey anthro named Delphine Donkey who is voiced by Nzilani Franq; whom we would see and hear in 2009 on Peppa Pig; only show appearance though. (In Latin America's Spanish dub: Her name is Albina Asna and in German she's named Elena Esel.) Peppa wants to be her pen pal; and Gazelle gives her the photo and that is that. I guess it is "first speak, first served" in this Playgroup. We don't know who got who because we scene change to the house on the hill. Mr. Zebra and his post truck has arrived having the goofiest car horn sound I have ever heard. (It's literally the silliest clown horn I have ever heard and Daddy Zebra is not a comedy geek.) Not to mention that he parks the truck on the steepest side of the hill again. Mr. Zebra comes out and posts the post through the post slot; as Peppa and George bounce down the steps. Peppa grabs the post and gives it to Mummy Pig as Mummy Pig notices that it's for Miss Peppa Pig. Peppa asks Mummy Pig to real it for her; and Mummy agrees as she opens the letter and there is a letter and a picture of Delphine Donkey. Since Delphine Donkey is from France; she speaks French. (Except in the French dub, where she speaks English.) I will translate this in English: "Hello, Peppa; how are you?" Which Peppa calls funny words and Mummy Pig has been to French classes, because she does the translating for me. (My French sucks, but I do know some of the words.) Daddy Pig takes the letter and his attempts to speak in French sounds very awkward. Basically; Delphine likes princesses and playing with her friends. Basically; Delphine Donkey is the French Peppa Pig. Peppa giggles as Daddy claims to be an expert on French; but has zero idea what it translates too.

Daddy cleans his glasses and then declares it nonsense as Mummy Pig translates it and then localizes it to be fairy princesses, even though the direct translation makes no mention of fairies at all. (She localized it a bit. Professional translators do it all the time for various reasons.) Daddy Pig is frowning and claiming that this would be what he said and everyone giggles at his expense. Daddy Pig sucks at French. Peppa wants to talk to Delphine -- In French -- and Mummy Pig notices that there is a telephone number attached to the letter. Okay; this could be fun to mock. We head to the red telephone with LED lights on the front; sitting on a coffee table as Mummy Pig picks up and the phone and dials. Peppa and George watch on as I ask now: Why wasn't George at Playgroup today?! I'll translate this from Mummy's French: "Hello. Is it possible for Peppa to talk to Delphine?" Mummy Pig gives the phone to Peppa and Peppa is like a fish out of water here, as she fumbles over the words to say because she has to speak French. Clearly; this is her first time and it always looks low rent. (It's like that Forsenic Files episode where someone was coaching someone on baseball bets. Except in Peppa Pig, there was no bet and no one got murdered except for the language.) She says goodbye in English and then in French, struggling and then they hang up. Peppa then talks French to George and George responds by saying growling and saying "dinosaur"; which Peppa blows off as not speaking French. Even though the word dinosaur is said the exact same way in French and English; only in French it spelled "dinosaure". They giggle anyway; and Peppa is not corrected for this. Scene change to outside on the house on the hill as we basically repeat the scene with Mr. Zebra complete with the stupidest car horn sounds in history. The only difference is that there are three post letters to post as Peppa and George bounce down the steps in their boots; which telegraphs the finish well in advance. Daddy Pig informs Peppa that no letters for Peppa came from the post today as Mummy Pig hears a doorbell ring and answers it. The door opens and it's Delphine Donkey saying hello in French, and then speaks English outright. (Yup, this is her official debut in the flesh. Oh, and her family shows up, too!) Yes; she does speak English as a second language and does a better job of it than most English speakers on this show. She goes "hee-haw" as she's here to see Peppa.

Also, my theory about her being the French edition of Peppa Pig is correct because she is wearing boots on; so if you cannot guess her favorite past time; you have no business watching this show. Delphine introduces her family outside, who are also wearing their boots as Monsieur Donkey has a curly mustache and her brother's name is Didier. Didier has a red dragon with purple wings as George and Didier show off their toys and giggle. I should note that Didler Donkey is voiced by Aurélie Charbonnier who was an animator for Le Bon Numero (The Right Number) as her debut, along with this show as an animator, Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom, Marottes and most recently, The Amazing World Of Gumball as an animator, storyboarder and even voiced Sussie! I have nothing for Mademoselle Donkey. Papa Donkey is voiced by Jerome Haupert in Series 2/3 and then David Rintoul in Series 5. Jerome has only appeared on Peppa Pig though. Monsieur Donkey asks Daddy Pig about his French speaking skills and Daddy Pig lies about being an expert at French. Monsieur Donkey talks in French and here's what he said in English: "Let's talk about sports. I love the football team (In America; it's called "soccer".) in Paris. Which football team do you prefer?" (I corrected some of the translation because it was paraphrased in the previous rant.) Daddy Pig completely exposes himself as a liar as he is blusing. Daddy Pig is exposed! (It won't be the last language Daddy Pig looks dumb at. German and Italian are other examples, although Mummy Llama's schooling of Peppa Pig is the most glorious finish I have ever seen. Peppa literally wanted to be somewhere else when it happened. More on those later.) I know how he can get out of this; and it's the sure fire way to get out of this conversation: Jump up and down in muddy puddles. DING! I just love that the narrator claim that Delphine doesn't understand what Peppa says in English; but basically says the exact same thing in French. She does understand what Peppa is saying in English; because she can speak English! STUPID! It's Peppa who doesn't understand French, you moron! After some awkward moments, Delphine drags Peppa down to the conveniently placed muddy puddles and shows her. Now Peppa gets it. Peppa and Delphine love jumping up and down in muddy puddles. Everyone loves to jump and down in muddy puddles, even if they are in different languages to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Very fun episode with Daddy Pig getting schooled. (Peppa better be careful about laughing at this, Mummy Llama is not above schooling a child in that department. *** 3/4 (75%).)

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; this was the usual set of fun shorts with four standouts. Ice Skating was great, although it wasn't the masterpiece Swimming brought to the table, it was mostly due to George ice skating that brought the rating up. The Cycle Ride was also really good due to Mummy Pig making Daddy Pig blush and Pedro Pony being Pedro Pony at his best. Pretend Friend was so stupid it's funny and the Dentist was a very good debut for Doctor Elephant complete with a hilarious finish. Overall; another good set of shorts as we wind down Series 2 next time with the remaining eleven shorts. So...

Thumbs up for Ice Skating, Pretend Friend, The Dentist and The Cycle Ride, thumbs in the middle for the rest and I'll see you all next time.

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