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Twenty Years Of Muddy Puddles: Peppa Pig Series Two #5 Rant

Reviewed: 03/27/2018
Additional Commentary/Edited: 07/21/2024

The Beginning Of The End Of The Motions.

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Okay; we head back to Series Two as we start the final eleven episodes with attics, Suzy and Peppa hating each other, power cuts, a sleepover, toy cupboards, school camps, bouncy balls, stars, a cold winter day, Daddy Pig being a captain and has a birthday of his own. YAY! Yeah; welcome to the final episodes of the Cecily Bloom era of Peppa Pig. How do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley and Mark Baker; except for School Camp, Sleepover and Stars, which are written by Chris Parker. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Granny & Grandpa's Attic: Here is episode #94 on the animation paper and this episode opened at the white house on the hill as Daddy's Pig car arrives with circus music playing in the background. Why? Why not?! (2024 Gregory Weagle Says: It's a tease to the big song upcoming in this very episode.) Mummy Pig stops the car on the steepest side of the hill as the pigs all hop out. (I know...AGAIN!) The narrator points out the plot of this story barely twenty seconds in that Peppa and George are playing at Granny and Grandpa's house. We meet and greet as George continues his gimmick of calling Grandpa Pig, "Papa Ig". We wave goodbye to Mummy Pig and the logic breaking car driving down the hill...AGAIN! Peppa asks where Granny Pig is and we here Granny Pig's loud voice as she is in the roof window. I assume that she is in the attic doing something. I just realized that George calls her "Gangy Ig". That's odd, because usually it means that the grandmother is somewhat cold, drunk and aspires to reach higher social standing. There are at least two other meanings; none of them good. (Urban Dictionary is the source and you can Google this yourselves. I'm done revealing actual slang unless it's PG enough to justify it.) Peppa asks why Grandma Pig is on the roof; and Grandpa claims that they are cleaning up the attic. Grandpa explains that the attic is where he keeps his old things, and Peppa claims that this is where Grandpa Pig sleeps basically. Such a troll this Peppa is?! (Okay, that one made me laugh. Huge if true.) Grandpa laughs it off because there are things much older than he is; and Peppa asks if they can help. Grandpa says yes and we head up the stairs to the hallway where the attic door is fixed to the ceiling. Peppa asks how they are going to get up there and Grandpa has a clever trick, only unlike those clickbait articles on the internet, there is a conveniently placed broom propped against the wall, ready for Grandpa Pig to poke the door and it opens to reveal Grandma Pig. Grandma Pig asks them to come up and brings out a steel ladder to allow them to climb up. I do have one observation about this show: Every father in the show is bigger than anyone else on the show. Granted; the mothers are not exactly small either; but in both cases, the body shapes are really uniform on this show. It also applies to the children. Why?! I don't know.

We head to the attic and there is the metal detector from Pirate Island. Apparently, Mummy Pig's old computer is in the boxes, so the Pig family has completely given up on the computer. I guess Lucky Mrs. Chicken's farting got to them. (Nah, it's a spare computer although Grandpa Pig will get the Pig family's computer when the Harley Bird era starts.) There is a lot of junk and Grandma Pig wants to throw out a large box of boats in bottles; which Grandpa Pig protests this outrage. Yes; this is the start of the bickering like a married couple angle, and it's not nearly as bad as Goliath and Renard from Gargoyles; but it makes the adults come off as whiny cowards. (Speaking of quarrels, that episode is up next! This one is basically Stamps level arguing.) Grandpa Pig apparently gets a repreve for the bottled boats as the kids giggle at this. Grandpa Pig finds a box and Grandma Pig protests that they are her hats as one of them has a fruit salad imbedded into the hat and George gets the beret. Hmmm; different hats compared to the exact same amount of boats in bottles and looking exactly the same. Whom do I have more sympathy and empathy for? Hmmm... (Yeah, Grandpa Pig only needs ONE of those boats, the rest can be sold in packs of four! Mr. Fox everyone, coming soon during the Harley Bird era.) The kids laugh as the adults decide to let Peppa and George decide what to throw out. Peppa sees a pink luggage case near some boxes with conveniently placed sleeves of records and that is what Peppa wants to throw out. The adults panic on cue because it's a record player, you see. Grandpa Pig finds a rocket ship labeled sleeve and puts the small record into the record player. He pushes the green button on the record player; which is neon green and we put the needle of the record player down and it's time TO DO THAT DANCE~! (It sounds like generic rock and roll from Elvis! The dance is complete with hip twisting just to get the older farts have heart attacks if they haven't already died off.)

George is hopping up and down as we head outside with the attic window still open; as Mummy Pig arrives in the car. Mummy Pig gets out of the car, rings the doorbell and says hello. The music is still on; and this is a clue for Mummy Pig to open the door and go inside. Mummy Pig goes up the stairs and opens the attic door. Mummy Pig is not exactly amused by this music as she stops the music and puts the record back in it's sleeve. Mummy Pig brings out her favorite record, which the sleeve contains a picture of a cyan blue bird and a yellow dog whistling to musical notes. The song is called Birdy-Birdy Woof-Woof as she takes out the yellow record. This causes Grandpa Pig to panic and is appalled as Grandma Pig thought they threw that out ages ago. (Yup, Mummy Pig is about to get her revenge for that "awful" music. Apparently, she was one of those parents do doesn't like hip swirling music.) Yes; their bickering caused them to not throw anything out and their attic is still better than my room in terms of space. We play the record and this song has lyrics and everything. Apparently; in this song world, the dogs go "Tweet" and the birds go "Woof" as Mummy Pig is dancing and her dancing might be worse than mine. Oh; and the sheeps moo and the cow baa. (Why did you give this episode ***, former self?!) The kids laugh because it doesn't take anything to amuse them, since they are little kids. The old farts decide to play along and giggle as the music stop; so Peppa restarts the music and we sing along. This was funnier than a Teddy Ruxpin song actually. Grandpa Pig wipes his brow and proclaims that this was fun; but there is a job to do. Peppa decides they should keep everything as a duck quacks in the background while they do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Ummm; shouldn't Mummy Pig get to keep the records and the record player? Because that was what they were shooting for as the payoff to all this and they didn't pay it off. DUMB! Fun episode with a dumb ending. (Much funnier than it had any right to be, and that song was glorious. It also played during the end credits I should note. *** 3/4 (75%).)

The Quarrel : Next up is episode #95 on the animation paper as we begin on the house on the hill and zoom in as Suzy and Peppa are sitting on the floor in the middle of the room flipping cards as the narrator claims that they are playing Snap. Apparently; the rules of engagement are that you win by saying "SNAP" if you both draw the same card. They both draw cyan blue star; but since Suzy said it first, she wins. Apparently; Suzy also gains cards and the last card Peppa has is a lime green fish, Suzy draws the same card, and it's snap, she wins again. Peppa then proclaims that Suzy cheated, even though there were no signs that Suzy cheated at all. Peppa claims that she looked at the card, and I'm certain she did not. They blow each other off and proclaim that they do not want to play with each other anymore, over a card game. And you know that moral guardians will blame the card game instead of Peppa being insecure about losing, since she's the star of this show. (I say this many times when ranting on Peppa Pig: She's the star and everyone is a geek. Suzy didn't cheat, but Peppa cannot lose heat.) There is snorting and raspberrying going on as Suzy throws down the cards; and it might as well be a mic drop for everyone who doesn't like Peppa's troll like behavior. We hear a doorbell and Peppa, Mummy Pig, Mummy Sheep and Suzy Sheep arrive at the door and the kids say they refuse to talk to each other; but still blow each other off which is still talking to each other. If the message is that quarrels are useless, this would convince me somewhat. (I would have just said: "Goodbye forever "Suzy/Peppa", we are not friends anymore!" and went our separate ways. They still act like chatterboxes.) Mummy Pig is in denial of this; and Suzy and Peppa blow her off for thinking this is funny. And really, it is not funny. (I don't think Mummy Pig was being funny here, I think she was hoping that the trolls would say "sike"! They didn't sadly.) Suzy and Mummy Sheep get into the car and it drives down the hill. We head into the kitchen as we are having spaghetti again, (with no sauce) as usual. Daddy Pig calls for everyone to come in as Peppa walks in sulking. Daddy asks what is wrong as Mummy Pig explains the situation and Peppa does miss Suzy a bit. Mummy Pig decides to call Mummy Sheep and try a phone intervention.

Suzy wants Peppa to apologize and Peppa apologizes for saying that she cheated. However, Peppa refuses to apologize for accusing her of cheating, so this turns into a not-apology basically. Suzy of course blows her off and apologizes for ever meeting her, being her best friend and she hangs up. Peppa blows it off and claims that she can find a new best friend. If I were Rebecca Rabbit; I would run. (Yeah, these trolls are awfully toxic today. That sequence in Peppa Pig time took literally 55 minutes by the way.) We head to the playground as everyone including Suzy and Peppa are there. (Except for Rebecca Rabbit and Mummy Rabbit. But Richard Rabbit is there just for George's sake. Sure, the other adults can supervise, but still, what?!) Suzy is on the swing and Peppa is doing putt-putt golfing. Pedro Pony and Danny Dog are on the roundabout giggling. They are best friends, just like George and Richard on the seesaw with Mummy Rabbit and Mummy Pig. (Mummy Rabbit is written in by teleport out of nowhere. WHAT?!) Here's a logic break for you: When we saw the swings in the far shot; there was only one swing available. When we cut to Suzy at the swings; there are two swings now. I have no problem with the artwork; but try to at least mantain good shot continuity. This is not good shot continuity. Back to Peppa as she cannot mini golf all that well and she sighs. In comes Emily Elephant as they exchange notes for a while; but Emily no sells the deal because Candy Cat is her best friend and you can only have one best friend. This is a stupid way to think. By the way; both Candy and Emily easily put their balls into the hole, making Peppa look even worse. They giggle for a while as Suzy notices Zoe Zebra finishing being on the slide. Suzy asks Zoe to be her best friend; but since there can be only one, Rebecca Rabbit is her best friend. (Character written in by teleport #2!) Suzy and Peppa finally meet and greet like it was the first time they have ever met. Daddy Pig comes in and assumes that they are friends again, and the kids blow off each other. This is like two countries who were bickering and threatening war on each other, wanting to defuse the situation and come to some understanding and then a big fat country comes in and interferes, causing the two sides to go into war mode again. See, USA against any country that they can manipulate into their best interests and made even worse with Trump as president. (Time to walk this one back, former self. More like Russia, China and India trying to manipulate the other countries although USA is not much better. Soon, Israel might be the next country joining the interferers at the rate it's going.)

Yes, Daddy Pig is interfering in this and ordering Peppa to apologize outright to Suzy and Peppa wants SUZY to apologize first. Considering that Suzy did nothing wrong, except beat Peppa twice in Snap, Peppa should apologize to Suzy. This makes Peppa look like an asshole now. Suzy rightfully points out who should say sorry first. Daddy Pig only made this situation worse now! Now, he wants them to say their sorry at the same time after three seconds. After the count of three, they say sorry in the most unconvincing way and then they cheer and become friends again. Just like that! (This is so not believable at this point, this might be the worst episode of the series so far.) They run over to play mini-golf. Here's the ending to this tale: Peppa putts her ball and she still cannot make the hole. Suzy puts her ball less than three feet away from the cup --and much closer than Peppa did; so she is cheating here -- and putts the ball, the ball bonks into Peppa's ball and Peppa's ball goes into the cup. Peppa claims that she won; but Suzy protests. I'm on Peppa's side here because Suzy put her ball much closer to the cup than Peppa did, and Suzy did try to claim that her ball made Peppa's ball go into the ball, so she should win, even though her ball didn't go in. This is just BS to get the two to blow each other off and drop their clubs. Daddy calls them one in the same; and both kids agree with him as they call themselves the best friends ever and hug as everyone giggles to end the episode at 4:30 approx. I didn't like the quarrel between two old men in Gargoyles -- well, one male human being and one male gargoyle --, and this wasn't much better. It was as petty as thoughts and prayers, but at least no one got killed, so there's that. (Baloo and Kit quarreling is a masterclass because in A Baloo Switcheroo, they switched bodies, so the infighting had some context to it and seeing a child in man's body arguing with an adult in a child's body does make for some decent entertainment, since one of them is the star and the comedy geek all rolled into one. Stormy Weather was epic because it told a lot about Kit Cloudkicker and Baloo Von Bruinwald XIII as miserable apart, but whole when together and much, much more. And this was before Quiet On The Set was a documentary as well. This quarrel was just two girls arguing over a card game, no one is going to have empathy for that! At this point, this is the worst episode in the series until The Little Cars episode. Also, this episode is based on a storybook called Peppa & Suzy's Argument. Of course!) * (20%).

The Toy Cupboard : We continue on with episode #96 on the animation paper, as we begin on the house on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) and zoom into Peppa's bedroom. We see George and Peppa getting into their beds, which is filled with toys for no reason whatsoever. Mummy and Daddy Pig are shocked and appalled by this and Daddy Pig wants them to put the toys that live on the beds in the basket. One problem: The basket is already full of toys and overflowing as it is. Mummy Pig proclaims that it's time to have a toy cupboard and Daddy Pig plans to make one tomorrow, which Mummy Pig blows him off on. Daddy Pig claims that he was proud of that slanting shelf out of nowhere near the door and Peppa Pig mocks it as Teddy and Mr. Dinesaur are now on the slide...the shelf slide. Daddy Pig is so proud at being dumb. Daddy Pig agrees to buy a toy cupboard and we get a sequence of the family in Mummy Pig's office on the computer doing on-line shopping. This was eleven years ago, by the way, when on-line shopping was a much smaller thing than it is right now in spite of privacy concerns. They choose the one with all the rainbow colors and shapes; because it looks like a legit children's toy cupboard. Okay. The green basket icon moves and catches the cupboard and it flashes into a white background as a woman's voice informs us that the cupboard has been ordered as Peppa calls this pretty. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. (The computer voice is clearly Mummy Pig's voice with a digital voice filter.) It is morning as the rooster crows and the sun struggles to rise up this morning. In comes the yellow post truck with Mr. Zebra driving it. Yes, they literally got twelve hour shipping on that toy cupboard, so this is a rich middle class family. (I fixed this because it was 7:15 PM when they ordered it and morning would be around 7 AM!) Mr. Zebra honks the clown horn and down comes Peppa and George along with the parents from down the stairs, heading into the lobby. The door opens and in comes Mr. Zebra bringing in the large narrow box addressing it to Mrs. Peppa Pig and Master George. Master George?! Since when?! (Besides, it was Mummy Pig who ordered it, why isn't it Mrs. Pig's order?! Dumb!) Mr. Zebra explains that this parcel is the toy cupboard and Peppa calls it a bit flat. I love real comments that aren't suppose to be real comments. It's a DIY cupboard. However; Mr. Zebra tells them not to worry because Daddy Pig can easily built this and then walks out, closing the door. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~!

It's time to build said cupboard as the parents slowly climb up the stairs with it. We head to Peppa's bedroom as Daddy Pig opens the bottom and shakes out all the pieces. Daddy checks the boxes and cannot find the instructions, so Mummy Pig assumes that it's so easy to build that it doesn't require instructions. Occam's Razor suggests that the instructions are buried inside the pile they shook out. We begin trying to build this cupboard as Peppa and George help while Daddy Pig does absolutely nothing. Although, after building that slantly shelf, I don't know if anyone cares if Daddy Pig does nothing but carry the toys. Sadly; the end result is a small heart shelf on four blue legs. In which only Teddy fits in. (And it's not enough to keep him there as the door bounces back.) George brings out a purple piece and the family has realized that the shelf isn't even close to being done, so they'll have to take it apart and start all over again. Daddy Pig is not thrilled to hear this and want those instructions. Then the doorbell rings and the family goes down stairs to the lobby. The door opens and in comes Mr. Zebra with the missing instructions. At least we can blame the shipping company for not putting the instructions inside the parcel on this one, instead of Mummy and Daddy being total idiots builting this thing and didn't see the instructions inside the pile. Then Daddy Pig reads the instructions and gives up, calling the instructions nonsense. In other words; Mummy Pig was a lot more proactive than Daddy Pig was here. Mr. Zebra decides to help as he goes upstairs to build the toy cupboard and has only one order to Daddy Pig: Fix him a kettle of tea with six sugars, because he loves sweet tea, you see. We get a sequence of the family preparing tea and biscuits -- chocolate chip cookies in North America -- on a tray and then everyone goes up and Peppa is in awe because Mr. Zebra has completed the work on the toy cupboard. Now, there's a bit of an expert on this things, Daddy Pig! (Daddy Pig is dumb, you see.) Mr. Zebra shows off the shelves as they are stuffed with toys. Enough that even the basket is empty now. However; there are two toys he couldn't fit: Teddy and Mr. Dinesaur. So, let's order another toy cupboard, in which Daddy Pig blows off in kind. (There is a perfectly nice basket in the background to put Teddy and Mr. Dinesaur in. Mr. Zebra is shilling merch on the job, I see.) Mummy Pig has a better idea; just let Peppa and George sleep with them like they always do. Everyone does the backsplash laugh to end this episode at 4:30 approx. Another fun episode in a series of them. (Outside of a few dumb spots, this was very fun on the second viewing. *** 1/2 (70%).)

School Camp: We continue on with episode #97 on the animation paper as we head on a boring road in the blue bus driven by Miss Rabbit, as all the kids (minus Richard and George) are in their bus seats giggling with Madame Gazelle. (Except for Pedro Pony, which is a dead giveaway for the next spot.) Less than twenty seconds in, Pedro Pony is bus sick (travel sick as said by the narrator) because the road is bumpy. So, Pedro has shaking camera syndrome that a lot of ranters and reviewers like me can have from time to time watching these shows. (Especially during earthquake rituals like jumping up and down in muddy puddles.) Madame Gazelle offers a seat in the front and Pedro Pony gleefully takes as the kids are basically wanting to sit in the front seat with Madame Gazelle; despite only having room for one kid. I know this because Zoe is asking for the same thing and claims that she might get bus sick later. Cheeky little ones these kids are. Gazelle nicely blows them off and it's even funnier when Emily Elephant and Candy Cat are sitting in the front in the opposite row as Madame Gazelle! All of them want to sit with the teacher, cheeky little kids! All this was rendered moot since Miss Rabbit and her bus have reached the camp site since this is a school camping trip. The kids all pop for this as the bus stops and everyone except Miss Rabbit gets off the bus with their camping gear. Miss Rabbit drives away in her bus backwards wishing them good luck on the camping stuff. There is a camping sign in the middle of this clearing as Madame Gazelle explains where they are and wants everyone to breathe in the fresh air. Everyone complies which is funny considering that there isn't much polluted air in this ficitional world of Peppa Pig. Next spot: everyone puts up their tents within ten seconds. Next spot: Everyone must choose a partner, but Suzy is trying to weasel her way out of being Peppa's partner; but Zoe picks Rebecca whom in turn weasels her way out and Rebecca picks Candy. Emily comes in and picks Zoe, leaving just Suzy and Peppa. Considering what happened in The Quarrel; it's clear none of the other friends wants anything to do with Suzy nor Peppa jerkassery. Of course, there is no mixing of genders and since Danny Dog and Pedro Pony are boys, they can only be partners in this camp trip. (Basically, this episode is a homage to Camp Lazlo released two years before this episode aired. How very nice, how very evil.) Madame Gazelle gets the big tent alone of course as she needs sticks to get the campfire going. The girls are willing, the boys are willing, Madame Gazelle wants them all to do it because she is the adult and she'll handle making the campfire for obvious reasons. All the kids are grabbing and carrying sticks, mostly Peppa and Suzy. (You get the feeling this is revenge for the Quarrel from two episodes ago and how bad that episode was?!) The kids set the sticks down into a tent like stick house and we look at them.

Jump cut to AFTER HAPPY HOUR with a shot of the crescent moon in the sky as we zoom out with the kids and Madame Gazelle with the campfire already made. Yeah; I knew BS&P wasn't going to let us see Madame Gazelle make a fire, which makes me sad because Madame Gazelle making a campfire is MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. So is Daddy Pig, but for a much different reason. Madame Gazelle has her guitar sitting down, which means we get to hear her sing, which is always a delightful thing to hear. The lime green big tent also has a red camping flag on it, for no reason. The kids all want the bing-bong song and Gazelle is not sure about this, so the kids say please. And in the pre-school world, when they all say please in unison, you are singing that song. We invoke the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM to waste time and quite frankly, I can handle this song being played in the background for the rest of the episode, because it is awesome! (Sadly, no karaoke lyrics here either. I guess they started all that in the Harley Bird era.) After that lovely song, everyone giggles and heads to bed as the tents are slightly like the TARDIS; but only slightly. We head inside Peppa's tent with Peppa and Suzy in their sleeping bags giggling. Peppa and Suzy then flashes torches on each others faces, just to be trolls. (Flashlight in North America, I should note.) Giggling ensues as we head outside and all the kids have torches on and giggling like naughty, cheeky little kids. Gazelle is a light sleeper as she opens her tent and brings out the megaphone, and nicely tells them to sod off with this. Apparently; she wants them to stop giggling, but don't say anything about the torches, even though the kids turn them off anyway. Gazelle closes the tent as we jump cut to a closeup shot of an owl in a tree and then zoom out as it hoots. Jump cut to inside Peppa's tent as both Suzy and Peppa are wake and confused by this noise. The hooting continues as Suzy climbs out of the tent and flashes the torch at Madame Gazelle's tent and even Peppa isn't happy for her doing that. Madame Gazelle opens her tent and asks if Suzy wants to come in because Suzy is scared, you see. Suzy says yes and gets in. Then Peppa follows her lead and gets invited; as well as the rest of the kids, so much for the separation of kids and teachers in this world. I shake my head in disbelief. (Actually, this makes storyline sense because they wanted to sit with Gigi on the bus earlier and couldn't because of the lack of space.) Everyone gets inside as we turn the torch on and this served the purpose so that Gazelle can sing the bing-bong song again. Of course! We zoom out with Gazelle singing to end the episode at 4:30 approx. The Bing-bong song was great, everything else was all right. *** 1/2 (70%).

Captain Daddy Pig: Moving right along with episode #98 on the animation paper as we begin this one on a boring river with Grandpa and Grandma Pig on a bridge as Daddy Pig has borrowed Grandpa Pig's boat for the day with the entire Pig family standing on the boat with only the kids wearing life jackets. Oh; and George has the pirate's hat on for this special event. Grandpa Pig tells Daddy Pig about the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) as Daddy Pig does a fine job obeying his commands. Also; Daddy Pig should take care of it because it had been just painted, which earns a scolding from Grandma Pig. (Granny Pig called Grandpa Pig an old fusspot.) Then Grandpa Pig is totally justifed in his behavior as Daddy Pig pulls the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and nearly causes the boat to bump into the bridge, luckly he pushes the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and goes forwards away from said bridge. Daddy Pig is almost dumb. They all say their goodbyes and Grandpa Pig is pleading for them to come back in one piece, which Grandma Pig blows off in kind. Mummy Pig takes over the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) as Peppa rings the bell. Peppa rubs her tummy; because she's a bit hungry. Mummy Pig informs Daddy Pig that their is a picnic from the grandparents in the galley; which is a small kitchen in the boat. Peppa asks, that's why I mentioned it. Daddy Pig opens the trapdoor and he and the kids go into the galley as Daddy Pig can barely get in. So yeah, trouble. Daddy Pig opens doors and gets no picnics; but lots of toys, tripping and an ironing board containing more irony than a human being with no self-awareness whatsoever. Oh, and somehow there is a television in the boat as Daddy Pig declares this to be impossible, so guess where Peppa got that from?! A little lesson to the moral guardians: They are all very aware about your complaints and they know parenting is not easy. Never assume that the writers do not have children, you makes yourselves look like it's all about you...Oh wait, never mind. Peppa opens the bottom door to the right after some pondering and there is the picnic, making Daddy Pig look dumb again. (That is so random, she made an ass out of me, too!) Everyone giggles and we move on topside to everyone eating food on the deck; and here comes the ducks right on time for the usual annoying feeding spot. (This is the third time the ducks have been fed in this series alone and fourth overall.)

After the feeding, we head to the tall weeds as Mummy Pig warns Daddy Pig about them; and Daddy Pig pushes the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) because Grandpa Pig's boat is a macho boat according to him. Sadly; it is not as the boat gets stucker than Daddy Pig on a slide. Daddy Pig tries going in reverse, no go. They are now, officially stuck. However; Daddy Pig has a plan: He jumps down into the water and is going to give the boat a push while Mummy Pig pulls the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and this works way too well because the boat is now out and it's going so fast that Daddy Pig has to literally swim for his life. HAHA! Daddy Pig is in deep water and Mummy Pig cannot properly hear him to stop the damn engine, even though I can clearly hear him with the water in effect. So, bad acting from Daddy there. Peppa still hears him loud and clear so Mummy Pig stops the engines and the boat stops right there. Daddy Pig claims he's fine as he gets on the boat. Daddy Pig has had enough of this and wants to go home and the others agree with him. We head back to the bridge as Grandpa and Grandma Pig are still standing on the bridge. Grandpa Pig is complaining as usual; but here comes the boat as it's perfectly all right and Daddy Pig stops the boat and Mummy Pig and the kids all hop off. Daddy Pig wants to park the boat; but Grandpa Pig in a cocky fashion corrects him because it's moar a boat. It's dock a boat, you cheeky old bastard! (Maybe in North America, it's called docking, but it's moaring in Britian.) Grandpa gets on the boat and claims that the secret to docking this boat is to do it carefully. However; Grandpa forgets what direction the boat is in because it pulls the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) which is the opposite direction to where the boat was at the start of the episode, therefore it goes backwards towards the bridge. Daddy is yelling about it to Grandpa, Grandpa brainfarts, the boat goes through the bridge and destroys the mast, making Grandpa Pig look like a bigger dummy than Daddy Pig ever was. HAHA! Grandma Pig reminds him that he'll have fun mending that broken mast as Grandpa Pig admits to that. Peppa wants to help in this mending thing, Grandpa Pig agrees and the male adults do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Loved the finish, liked most of this episode, still don't like feeding ducks. *** 3/4 (75%).

The Powercut: We continue on with episode #99 on the animation paper and just a note before we continue on: In America; it's called "The Power Outage"; but even Powercut is easy to understand regardless of what English language you understand. How fitting since there was a lot of power cutting through the holiday season from all parts of Canada. (Clearly this was reviewed in 2018.) Episode opens with the house on the hill BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) which makes the sky all purple. We have a lot of rock music in the background for this one as we zoom into the living room as Daddy Pig's chair is gone and replaced with a giant stereo system while Peppa and George are dancing to the music as the narrator explains the obvious to us as Daddy Pig is in the lobby cleaning the carpet with the vacuum cleaner and doing a decent job of it. Mummy Pig is in her office (which is called "her study") on the computer; probably typing another encrypted document for someone. And the power goes out; and I'm worried about her computer being toast again. I mean; if all it takes is Peppa mashing keys to screw up that computer; then I will be very surprised if it ever comes back on. (Take a note that it's 6 PM when the power gets cut. Let's see how long it lasts...) Everyone runs into the lobby; complaining, sort off. Mummy Pig tries the light switch; no go. There's no way I can suspend my disbelief for this because it's not pitch dark inside where you can only see the eyeballs. However; as I said before, if they don't animate this, critics will accuse the animator of being lazy. (Even if it is more realistic to go with pitch darkness, there would be no way to tell what was going on, so the creators has to balance realism with being able to show what is going on to the audience. Cartoon lighting is basically required here.) Again; the moral guardians care too much about "quality" and too little about being "effective and believable". Mummy Pig tests the lights; no dice so it's a power cut. Peppa asks what is a power cut and Mummy Pig explains that it's when there is no electricity into the house. I should note that they don't explain how power cuts happen; but to be fair, I have no idea why this power cut occured. Peppa asks what electricity is and Daddy explains what it does; not what it is. He also assures Peppa that it will come back on; so he need to find a torch. (By the way, the vacuum cleaner is written out by teleport for no good reason. That's a bad logic break there.) Uh-oh; is Daddy Pig a...oh; I'm not going to do that joke!

Daddy finds a conveniently placed door as it opens up downstairs to the basement; which in Britian is called a celler. Mummy Pig asks if Daddy Pig is going to be okay and Daddy Pig says "yes"; a sure sign that he is going to not be okay and nearly kill himself. Although; we can blame this on the darkness and not Daddy Pig being an idiot. Daddy Pig walks down the steps and we have pitch darkness; which is a BS&P move to make sure Daddy Pig would be allowed to bump into a concrete wall with clown horn noises. (To think, Daddy Pig's gimmick of bumping into things would lead to a really funny running gag involving Officer Panda, inanimate objects, Officer Grey Squirrel and tickets. More on that in Series Five!) Jump cut to the lobby as Daddy Pig still claims that he's fine, while crashing into stuff for my amusement. Then Mummy Pig just remembered that she put the torch in the kitchen and walks into the kitchen and goes into the drawers (NOT THOSE ONES~!) as Peppa and George giggle (NOT FUNNY~!); to find a flashlight; which means that a torch is a British name for "flashlight". Peppa wants the torch and she gets it and does a funny face to George; and the narrator says it all. This causes George to bawl his eyes out. George does not like funny faces; and Mummy Pig has to calm him down, assuring him that it's Peppa. George literally giggles as more funny faces ensue from Peppa. Mummy decides to go back to tell Daddy Pig about finding the torch and Daddy Pig is stuck in the dark looking for the torch and crashing into thing some more. Peppa yells from the top of the stairs that they found it and Peppa shines the torch down the steps; to allow Daddy Pig to come back up. Daddy Pig shrugs it off anyway; despite looking like a complete moron who nearly killed himself just to find nothing of note. Now, it's time to wait out the power cut as Peppa asks how long it would take; and Daddy Pig says a long time. (Mr. Bull's take is that it will take as long as it takes. I love that line.) Yeah. The power cut I had on Christmas Day; took until 10 AM on Boxing Day to completely clear up after six attempts to keep the power on failed; which is about sixteen hours or so. Peppa is disappointed because she wants to dance. I should note that this family has no radio that is portable with batteries. Not a good idea to not have that in a power cut. Peppa and George run in and try to turn on the television...no power at all. Because anything that is wired is out due to...you guessed it. Peppa is disappointed and wonders what to do.

Mummy Pig remembers the olden days when there was no television and that children had to make up their own games. I have an idea: Dance like you did in the beginning of the episode, only hum the music yourself. That took me two seconds to think about and about thirty seconds to type it out to explain it. Peppa's got a plan! (She wishes she was Mimi from "What About Mimi?".) Peppa bails stage left and returns with a cardbox box and wants Mummy Pig to cut a hole in it; because you see, Peppa wants to cosplay a reporter on the television and she'll be in the box. Peppa orders everyone to sit on the couch as apparently; the television set has disappeared without a trace. Yes; we did see Mummy Pig cutting a hole in the cardboard box. George is given the torch by Peppa as he has to shine it at Peppa as Peppa goes into the cardboard box. The Peppa Pig News is on the air~! All this needs is televisions being thrown out of apartment buildings, ala SCTV just to make my life complete. Basically; she does the most hyperbole news item ever, claiming that the world stop due to the power cut; even though she is still around and going on. Her pronouncation of electricity is awkward as well as the crowd giggles at this. Mummy Pig is liking this as Peppa declares that the power will not be back for a long, long time. Literally one second later; the power is back on. This is so fake news! This power cut literally lasted three minutes. Did I just say....Oh, never mind. Peppa blows this off and orders the lights switched off. Daddy Pig switches off the lights as Peppa goes through another fake news story: The Queen has found more electricity and everyone is happy again. The end. HAHA! (Peppa of course pronouces electricity as "elec-trickty"! I cried with laughter watching this fake television news report. Sadly, we never got to see the clock again so, I'm guessing at most the power cut lasted about an hour in Peppa Pig time.) I cannot wait until we talk about the Queen of England in this storyline. She's awesome! (Sadly, this was the character that lead to the horror stories about the "origins" of Peppa Pig. Father Christmas is a real human in storyline, but he's supposed to be a benevolent ficitional god in real life, so that works without horror stories.) The lights are switched on, Daddy turns on the stereo and it's time to dance, dance, dance to their doom. HEEHEEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm...Yeah; they forgot all about the fake news and came back to reality to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Great episode filled with Daddy Pig being an idiot, Peppa Pig being a fake news broadcaster and the shortest power cut in the history of power cuts. (Somehow, there are power cuts in my home town that last only seconds when they happen and are far shorter in real time than this power cut.) **** 1/4 (85%).

Bouncy Ball: Here is episode #100 (YAY!) on the animation paper and episode opens on the house on the hill as the back door opens and out comes Peppa and George with the spotted bouncy ball. They bounce the ball down the hill and head to the bottom of the hill. George throws the ball high into the air and catches it perfectly. Peppa grabs the ball and claims that she can top that as she throws the ball high into the air and it bounces off her noggin. The narrator proudly proclaims that Peppa has missed the ball, causing George to giggle. Peppa blows this off as silly and in comes Suzy Sheep on her bicycle with two badminton rackets; which the narrator claims are tennis rackets. (I should note that this episode on Youtube also has a first run syndication video where Suzy Sheep is not wearing her helmet! That means the changes didn't occur on the bicycle helmet rule until after Series Three, just as the seatbelts were changed.) Also, rackets are sometimes worded as racquets by the way. Suzy and Peppa play tennis with the bouncy ball for a while; which looks more like bad volleyball playing, and Peppa bounces the ball over Suzy's head and misses because Peppa is a...you guessed it. Suzy bails and returns with the bouncy ball; and proceeds to get back at Peppa by bouncing the ball over Peppa's head. Peppa bails and returns with the ball and they play volleyball badminton for a while, which causes George to not be thrilled about being left out again. He bawls his eyes out on cue and that gets their attention. Peppa apologizes (Riiigggghhhttttt) because they only have two racquets, and Suzy decides that George can be the ball boy. Which basically means George does all the work, while Peppa and Suzy can act like trolls without consequences. Lovely! I should note that the cherry tree is now a blueberry tree, for no reason. Yes; Suzy and Peppa act like trolls, call for the ball boy, George runs around getting the ball, gets zero respect and after the second time, George bawls his eyes out as a cry for help. The narrator says it all as in comes Danny Dog, Pedro Pony, Candy Cat, Rebecca Rabbit and Richard Rabbit on bicycles. Everyone dismounts with full helmet throwdown as we meet and greet. The kids want to play tennis; but there are only two rackets in more ways than one. (Yeah, because they are committing a racket on George's mental health at this point like the trolls that they are.)

Danny Dog suggests they play soccer (football outside North America) and of course Peppa wants it girls against boys. Sigh, why?! Pedro Pony and Rebecca Rabbit are the goalkeepers. Having Pedro Pony being anything is whistling past the graveyard at this point. (Poor Pedro Pony just got a sick burn from former self and is about to get a bigger one later in this very episode!) The goalposts are two trees: One with blueberries and one with apples. The boys are the blue team and the girls are the red team. (Because blue is a boy's color and red is a girl's color, you see. Never mind my sweater coat is red and Danny Dog's shirt is purple. Bigots!) Of course! Danny Dog starts and kicks it to Peppa. Peppa kicks it away right into Richard. Richard dribbles around everyone, and it's clear that no one on the girl's side has even played nor seen soccer and Richard kicks into past Rebecca in between the trees for the easy goal. All within the rules of soccer I might add. (The girls just stand there like glorious buffoons and Richard goes in untouched and kicks the easiest goal in his career. Worst defense ever!) Danny Dog proclaims that the boys are winning and Peppa calls it unfair because they were not ready, which is a tact admission that they have never played soccer before. Rebecca Rabbit grabs the ball and runs towards the other side and no one bothers to kick the ball out of her hands. Danny Dog calls that unfair, but Rebecca claims that she is the goalkeeper and can handle the ball with her hands. According to the rules of goalkeeper in soccer: You can hold it with your hands and run with said ball. However; you have six seconds to throw it to another player. Rebecca held the ball for at least ten seconds and that is against the rules. (Yup, I counted exactly nine seconds, which is three seconds over the rule. That's a foul, Rebecca!) She also throws the ball into the net and of course, Pedro Pony leaps long before Rebecca even throws the ball and misses completely. The ball is thrown in between the trees for a goal that would be disallowed in any sane universe. (I don't think you are allowed to throw the ball into the net either even if you are the goalkeeper, but the handling foul renders that a moot point. Goal should be disallowed.)

The girls all pop and Pedro grabs the ball and declares this a no goal. Which according to the rules: Pedro is correct here. If Rebecca had handled it for FIVE seconds and then chucked it into the net, the goal would be allowed. (Again, I still think you need to kick the ball before it's allowed and why not?! Pedro sucks at goalkeeping.) Everyone yells at each other like a bunch of annoying kids. Oh, wait...In comes Daddy Pig as each side is accusing the other of CHEAT TO WIN~! I'm on the boys side here, since Rebecca held the ball for more than ten seconds. Daddy Pig defuses the situation by being THE GUEST REFEREE~! (Let's make everyone notice Daddy Pig, the biggest man on the show just to make the smarks hate this episode even more because no one watches games for the referee. Except maybe Ed and Shuan Hochuli and that's because they are lawyers who know how to explain the rules the NFL gives us.) Everyone wants to be the ref in this; but that is more disallowed than the goal Rebecca Rabbit scored. Daddy Pig blows the whistle, declares himself the ref and the one who score a goal wins the game in this silly episode. Then everyone is confused where the ball is as we hear ball noises and see George and Richard in a convoy; but Candy Cat manages to cut them off. George and Richard then make a fatal error: They turn around, go around everyone and then kick the ball into their own goal for an own goal. (Not to mention that Pedro jumped about three seconds before the toddlers scored a goal. Worst goalkeeper ever! Pedro is going to have nightmare after this episode is over.) The boys seriously believe they have won the game until Daddy Pig points out that they scored in their own net, so the girls win by default. Yes, Richard Rabbit; after scoring a fair and honest goal, scores the goal to beat his own team! Also, after claiming that soccer is a silly game the girls are now calling it a great game in spite of the fact that they cheated to score the second goal and it was the boys own stupidity that won them the game! Even if no sexism is involved, this is a stupid finish! All this did was bury Pedo Pony even further as the world's worst goalkeeper. Everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. What a stupid episode this was?! (It was not so stupid it's funny, it's so stupid it's bad.) Not to mention that the finish just buried everyone involved. * 1/2 (30%).

Stars: Okay; here is episode #101 on the animation paper and we begin this one on the house on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR with piano music. (Which I believe is a setup for another song that Peppa sings.) We zoom into the kitchen and see Daddy Pig, Peppa, and Mummy Pig at the kitchen table drinking hot milk as Peppa is already in her pjs. (This must be a British custom, since in North America, chocolate is usually used here as well. I wonder if the spaghetti without sauce is also a British custom as well? There are lots of recipes for pasta without sauce actually.) The pigs blow on their hot milk as George comes in wearing a spacesuit and carrying a toy rocket ship. He has a new gimmick of loving a space motif rather than a dinosaur motif. Okay, he's just two years old anyway and is going through that phrase. (Character development 101, former self. Happens all the time.) He's also smirking a lot as he cannot drink his hot milk; because his spacesuit has a mouth guard on. I know this because his nose is sticking out and thus could still splash the milk into his face if he wanted to. (Also of note: It took five minutes in Peppa Pig time for George to come down to have his milk.) Peppa takes off the space helmet and George drinks a lot of milk causing him to burp and everyone else to giggle in that order. Time for bed as the kids go into Peppa's room and sleep in the bunk beds. George now has a space motif mobile hanging underneath Peppa's bunk; that plays background music of this show when George tugs on the ring. Peppa is not amused by this because space is boring to her and Daddy Pig thinks it's not. His reason: because of all those stars out. Ummm; I only see one and it's not literally a star. (Peppa Pig, everyone.) Even Peppa knows this as Daddy Pig suggests going outside and Peppa loves to. Mummy Pig isn't exactly thrilled about this; but she relents when Daddy Pig suggest wearing their coats over their pjs. George is wearing white pj's on for no reason that I can think of. Head outside as the Pig Family has their winter gear on and Daddy Pig flops onto the hill for no reason that I can think of. Oh wait; it's because it's the best way to look at the stars. Okay; so everyone flops on the ground and we watch the stars for a long ass whomping time.

There's the Big Dipper as we use the sky as a diagram blueprint to show the last two stars showing the North Star. And who says this show isn't educational?! (Answer: Everybody, because Peppa is the star and everyone is a geek!) Peppa sings and she wants to get to the North Star by car; which is impossible by the way. (Even funnier: Peppa is actually singing this tune and there is no music in the background to turn it into a TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM. Probably the only time that has happened in this series actually.) It's farther than the seaside; but it can appear closer using a telescope from Grandpa Pig's house which Daddy Pig doesn't want to go. However; Mummy Pig wants to go see them on this late night for one night only as Peppa pops for this and they all get into the car as the narrator tells us that this is the first time Peppa and George have been in the car at night. Daddy Pig is driving the car. Which by the way, magically appeared out of nowhere since the opening shot of this episode showed no car in sight. Daddy Pig notices the North Star as he's driving, Peppa giggles. The headlights are turned on and Peppa sings some more. (Now with music in the background.) I see Peppa said twinkly in the same sense as biggly. (Well, Peppa is going to very soon use the words wibbly wobbly a lot and it makes more sense than twinkly and biggly.) We head up to the white house on the hill, and Peppa rings the doorbell. Mummy Pig isn't so sure about this anyone as the lights were off; clearly indicating that the grandparents were in bed. (The same Mummy Pig who wanted to go to the house and overruled Daddy Pig to boot. The power of Peppaggestion rules over all of you! That was weird.) The lights get turned back on and the door opens; we see the grandparents in their night gear as Grandpa Pig demands answers to this outrage. (Complete with slippers that look like stylized shoes.) Peppa calmly explains that she wants to see the stars via his telescope. Grandpa Pig is perfectly fine with this as they all walk inside and up the stairs, then up the ladder into the attic.

We then see the big ass white telescope pointing at the window; a telescope we have never seen until now. I don't think we ever see this thing again after this episode. (Nah, it will appear in Peppa Pig Tales for sure. Grandpa Pig calls it Best for some reason.) The window is open as the telescope peers out the window. Peppa of course is first to be held by Grandpa Pig to look in the telescope, because she's the star of this show. Surprise bit of detail: There is light in Peppa and George's eye when they look into the telescope; something I don't usually see in these spots in other cartoons. Grandpa Pig talks about sailors using the North Star as a guide as Peppa jokes about Daddy Pig using the North Star to find the grandparents. We giggle for a while as Grandpa Pig adjusts the telescope and Peppa gets to see Saturn. Grandpa Pig explains that the rings of Saturn are made from rock and ice. Actually; it's mostly ice with a trace of rock, if you are into a more nuanced explaination. Then we get the wettest of wet dreams: Peppa and George running on Saturn's rings while a snowman is on it. (Hey, I'll give the creators credit: At least they remembered to put the kids on the rings since Saturn is a planet made of gas. Sadly, the creators forgot to dress them in spacesuits. Sadly, this would not be the last time they forget this and unlike the dream sequence here, it was "real" in storyline.) In reality; they are running around Grandpa Pig giggling together. Grandpa Pig grabs Peppa and shows her a shooting star and her wish is for George to take Peppa into space via his rocket when he grows up. Which in the dream sequence, George looks exactly like he does at two years old as Peppa does at four years old. (Baby Bumps made the exact same mistake with Peppa when the family was watching old movies of themselves. It was hilarious!) They didn't even have enough in the budget for adult models of Peppa and George. We end this episode at 4:30 approx with the kids in a rocket looking at the sights of space, giggling. This was an all right episode. (I like this episode more on the second viewing, so *** 1/4 (65%).)

Daddy Pig's Birthday: Here is episode #102 on the animation paper as we open the episode on the house on the hill as the car is on the eastern side of the hill pointing east. It's Daddy Pig's birthday and he starts the day by heading outside in his work clothes and luggage; because he has to go to work on his birthday. (Hey, I'm doing additional commentary of this a couple of days after my 47th birthday and I had to work too. At least Daddy Pig is a lovable dumbass like Baloo is.) Peppa wishes he didn't have to work on his birthday and Daddy Pig agrees with him. Personally; I would rather work on my birthday and have a party when I get home. Even on my birthday, there is a time and place for both. Daddy Pig starts the car and drives away as everyone says their goodbyes. Mummy Pig and the kids head into the kitchen because it's time to bake a cake with flour, sugar, eggs, chocolate and butter. Not too much butter though, because you know. (Except they made no reference to the tummy, former self. I guess Swimming finally made them stop at this point.) It's Daddy's favorite cake: Homemade chocolate cake. Peppa would like to stir and Mummy Pig is fine with this. This is trouble as Peppa and George both stir the bowl and this leads to excessive splashing of the chocolate batter. I'm not pleased with this because this is a waste of perfectly good homemade cake batter. Mummy Pig breaks it up and we pour the chocolate batter into the pan, as we have a one layer chocolate cake. That seems a little low bridge for a birthday cake. Mummy Pig opens the oven and puts the pan into the oven, and closes said oven. Peppa gets to lick the spoon and George licks the bowl. I've already mentioned how risky this is in a previous rant, so I won't mention it again. Besides, this seems like a unfair trade off for Peppa. (Again, I have mellowed out on the licking the bowl stuff, but I cannot forgive George for his awful stirring techinque! All chocolate batter matters!) Peppa and George don't care as they lick away. Mummy Pig is sad that Daddy Pig cannot be here to see all this fun. Thus, Peppa wants to ring Daddy Pig in and say happy birthday to him. (In North America, it's called "phoning".) Wait, so you forgot to wish Daddy Pig a happy birthday BEFORE he went to work?! That is kind of trollish behavior on Peppa's part. Mummy Pig brings out the cell phone and dials for Daddy's place at work.

Peppa has the phone as we head to Daddy Pig's office with Mr. Rabbit, Mummy Cat and Daddy Pig are working on those stamps and coloring books. I think. (I think starting in the Harley Bird era, creative settled that Daddy Pig's job was creating blueprints for houses and public infrastructure in order to make sure to the parents and guardians that Daddy Pig had a serious job and it wasn't a goofball job to make him look dumb.) The phone rings and Mr. Rabbit answers the phone and Peppa asks for Daddy. Mr. Rabbit lets Daddy call on his red phone because it might be important. Daddy Pig answers the phone and Peppa screams happy birthday twice to him. Daddy Pig is fine with this by the way. Peppa tells him to not come home late. Daddy says he won't be late and hangs up the phone. Suddenly, it appears Mummy Cat and Mr. Rabbit were listening in and just had the birthday party flavors on full blast just in case. I don't know weither I should be pissed off at that lack of privacy (Although it is still better a breach than the Facebook debacle, that is for sure.), or laughing that the workers actually had a plan on retainer in case a birthday broke out. Oh, and the party blowers have feathers on them, for no reason. (Must be another British custom, I guess.) Daddy Pig is blushing and I don't know if it's out of finding out that they know it's his birthday or out of fear that they will use those feathers to tickle him. (It's them finding out that it's his birthday, former self.) We head back to the house on the hill as we head into the kitchen with Mummy Pig, Peppa and George talking about some big surprise that we aren't supposed to know because it's all hush-hush, so to speak. We open the door and the kids head out with buckets of water. Oh, come on now! If you cannot guess what the final surprise is, you have no business reading this rant nor have been watching this show. Yeah; they might not be wearing their boots, but I'm not fooled. They head to two trees as Mummy Pig comes out with balloons and everyone ties them to the branches of the tree. The narrator is confused. I think they want us to believe that Peppa and George are going to chuck the water from the buckets onto Daddy Pig; but I have seen this show too many times to realize that is not the case. The horn on the car is honking as Peppa realizes that Daddy Pig is here. They all get back in the house as Daddy Pig arrives in his car and gets inside as he is wearing a goofy party hat. (I'm guessing it's a spare one from work, since Mummy Cat and Mr. Rabbit were wearing them as well.)

Cut to the sitting room as we have the gifts, birthday cake which claims that Daddy Pig is thriteen years old judging by the amount of candles on the cake! Which to Peppa means he's very, very old. Again; what a troll?! (I'm guessing he's either 26 or 39 years old, depending on what mood I was in seeing this.) George has a party blower with a feather attached to it. Why?! (I refuse to answer this nonsense.) The party begins with Daddy Pig having to blow out the candles and he has ONE SHOT to do it; or he will be mocked again, I guess. He needs to blush to blow out the remaining three candles, but he succeeds anyway. (Funny story: I was doing the photo for my cake to blow out the candles (all two of them!) and one of them went out because someone forgot to turn off the fan before doing this. In other words, I only had one candle to blow out. Fans are 1-1 versus lit candles I should note.) The kids give Daddy Pig a present which Daddy Pig shakes the box and opens it. It's a pair of red boots; and if you haven't figured out the final spot of the show by now, I don't know what else I can tell you. Daddy Pig wants to break in the new boots so everyone walks out of the house with their boots down and goes down the hill. They find a small muddy puddle and Daddy Pig jumps into them and this seems fine, but the puddle is too little for them. Mummy Pig motions everyone to the trees where the balloons and the buckets of water are as Daddy Pig is confused. Peppa proclaims that this is Daddy Pig's birthday surprise and it's still hush-hush at this point as George giggles. Peppa and George grab the buckets and splash water onto the ground forming a large birthday sized muddy puddle. DING! (Which had no signs of mud. Suzy: It's magic!) Daddy Pig jumps in to test the boots and they work perfectly as he is muddy. (Should I mention that Daddy Pig is still wearing his work outfit at this point?!) He offers everyone to join in and they do as we jump up and down in muddy puddles and cause earthquakes. Daddy Pig calls this the best birthday ever and really, I cannot argue with that overwhelming logic there. The balloons bounce until the pigs do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was the best birthday episode of the lot, because it ended in a muddy puddle. How many birthdays end in that?! **** 1/4 (85%). (Now Daddy, Mummy, Peppa, George and Zoe Zebra have had birthdays so far.)

(The) Sleepover: We move on to episode #103 on the animation paper and we begin on that boring road; only it's HAPPY HOUR with Mummy Pig driving Peppa, who is in the back seat with Teddy, a cyan blue duffel bag and apparently; she's already in her night gear. (This would be the second episode where Peppa gets a car ride overnight, only more justified since she's going to Zoe's house.) Peppa is giggling for some reason; which might be the wind tickling her. Thankfully; she's wearing her shoes as they arrive at Zoe Zebra's house because it's time for a sleepover. (It's the peach house on the hill, complete with a drooping tree for some odd reason.) Once again; they park the car on the steepest side of the hill as Mummy Zebra and Zoe Zebra -- wearing a red dress with a crescent moon in the front -- with her plush monkey. (This would be Mummy Zebra's second major appearance I do believe, since she did appear in a cameo in the Eye Test.) They meet and greet as Mummy Pig returns to her car. Thank goodness they didn't show her driving down the hill in the opposite direction; because during the meet and greet; you could clearly see the car headlight pointing towards the house. That would have exposed the business. They head into the lobby; which is the same lobby as Peppa's house; only in different colors. Suzy, Rebecca, Candy and Emily are already inside as they all meet and greet themselves and their plush animal figures. (As expected, this was an all-girls sleepover.) Emily's plush toy is a frog, Suzy has an owl and Rebecca has a plush toy carrot that she has to force to make a noise that doesn't exist. (I should note that Zoe and Peppa are wearing shoes, but the rest are not for some odd reason.) The gimmick of Rebecca is that she loves carrots. Again; if she was a real rabbit and not a rabbit/human; this would annoy me. Sadly; she's blushing because the eyes are funny and the kids all laugh. Everyone runs into the living room as Mr. Zebra is watching Formula One racing; which is like NASCAR racing; only with a lot less redneckery involved. The kids all run in and sit with Mr. Zebra; and Zoe changes the channel to Mr. Potato. (Don't worry, you'll see him in the potato flesh in the Harley Bird era.) I see the troll trait of Peppa has struck Zoe Zebra now. (Daddy Zebra's expression was awesome here. Like it's the "Can you believe this?" look, the same one George always uses.) Zoe calls auto-racing boring; just to piss off the rednecks out there, which will always amuse me. (For those who complain about baseball being boring, at least that sport can create the weirdest clips out there. Auto-racing, not so much.)

Mr. Zebra does take it well as he smiles because the kids giggles; indicating that Zoe was telling the truth. Yeah; it's only exciting when it turns into a car wreck that you cannot look away despite all the efforts to try. (By the way, Peppa has taken her shoes off and then I realize, Zoe is barefoot all the time because zebras are striped black and white. I thought she was wearing shoes the entire time. I was wrong, I'm not that smart.) Mummy Zebra turns off the tele and tells Daddy Zebra to get upstairs for bed as Mummy Zebra turns off the lights and leaves. The kids all get their sleeping bags and here comes Zuzu and Zaza Zebra with their sleeping bags to crash the sleepover. (Yes, the first twins on this show make their second appearance and their first major one to boot!) They are wearing matching heart shirts and neight; but Zoe Zebra forbids them to. I smell bawling in stereo and damn I'm so good. Like George, they look into the hard camera like they are waiting for a signal when this happens. Another issue I have with this show: Only kids two and under bawl on this show. I have yet to see the four year olds or the adults cry. Now maybe there is an episode in this series where this happens and I missed it. But seriously; why can't the bigger kids and adults cry?! I realize that this is a pre-school show and you are supposed to help the little ones; but seriously. It's okay for the big kids and adults to cry once in a while. In small doses, this helps the little ones understand that it's okay to cry and their feelings matter. (Peppa will bawl in The Golden Boots movie and even Gerald would shed a tear, but seriously. The adults won't cry until at least Mr. Bull's wedding with Mrs. Cow in Series Eight!) Peppa's trolling does annoy me here as she basically loves them when they cry. Rebecca wants them to stay because they amuse her and Zoe decides okay; as long as they stay awake. The twins promise and they giggle. Peppa than notices a piano and Zoe sits on the stool (NOT THAT ONE!) and opens the piano. She is taking piano lesson and her playing of the piano needs a lot of work; and I do mean a lot of work. (Caron Izumi's piano playing is much better than Zoe and the kids in this show combined. That is low praise for Chargeman Ken by the way.) The kids love it so much that they come up and bang on the piano keys like mad. None of them play any better than Zoe; but at least they can sing, sort of. Mummy Zebra turns on the lights and blows them off for waking her and probably Mr. Zebra. (They were playing "Twinkle, twinkle, little star", I should note.) Ironically; Zuzu and Zaza were the only one behaving during this whole thing.

Everyone gets into the sleeping bags. The door is closed and lights are switched off. Peppa wonders what to do next and Suzy suggests a midnight feast; which is the signal to go into the kitchen and raid the fridge. They try to practice the fine art of not being seen; but these characters produces earthquakes that shake the house and Mummy Zebra is also a light sleeper. (They showed the bed where Mummy and Daddy Zebra sleep together and Daddy Zebra might as well have been sleeping through a rock concert.) We don't see them raiding the fridge; but they come back with fruit as Peppa has an orange, Zoe has green grapes, Suzy has a green apple, Emily has bananas, Rebecca has a pear, and the twins have plums. Of course; they talk too much, Mummy Zebra turns on the lights and they are so BUSTED~! Even better; Mrs. Zebra is not angry that they raided the fridge. She's annoyed because they are waking Mr. Zebra, yet the kids drop their fruit and get into their sleeping bags anyway. (Mummy Zebra is entraping them to do a gentle bedtime story, which these characters are such chatterboxes that this assures that Daddy Zebra wakes up.) It's story time as Suzy decides to start telling a story about a fairy in the woods as everyone has a turn cutting a promo. Emily is awkward in this and is told to say anything unless it's boring. Emily claims that the fairy met a big monster and Emily, like an idiot blows her trumpet causing everyone to scream. This causes the lights to get turned on and in comes Mr. Zebra protesting. This is all on the kids and Mrs. Zebra this time. (Mummy Zebra was in the room the entire time and she is now busted!) At least Zoe apologized for it. Mr. Zebra decides to get this over with and finish the story himself as he goes over to the piano and plays the piano perfectly while singing perfectly. It's moments like this that make me question why MRA groups hate media and entertainment and think men are mocked. I have more to say about this when I get to the episode "The Blackberry Bush"; but I'm tired of bigoted men who whine and complain about men being made fun of by women. This is what happens when men treat themselves like unassaliable gods and then fail miserably to deliver. This cures the kids' insomina and the kids are in their sleeping bags, snoring. Zoom out to the outside as the narrator sums up the ending and that ends the episode and the DVD set at 4:30. That was a great moment for Mr. Zebra and I enjoyed this episode. **** (80%).

Cold Winter Day: Here is episode #104 on the animation paper as we head to the house on the hill as it's winter, but you could never tell since the lack of detail in the background makes it appear that it could be fall or summer. (Nah, this is clearly late fall, early winter without the snow. This kind of weather happens all the time in Nova Scotia. A lot more often nowadays due to human global fuckery.) Peppa and company come out in their winter outfits as it's windy and cold. The kids rub their hands as they giggle as the narrator points out what they are wearing and the kids are non-verbalizing everything the narrator is saying. They run through the garden as the trees have no leaves and fruit, thus it is winter for sure, since the fall would still have leaves on the trees. Although nowadays, trees in winter can have lots of leaves from time to time. Climate change everyone. (Yup.) Peppa and George find a conveniently placed muddy puddle and the kids are all giddy about this. Peppa jumps onto the muddy puddle; but it's turned to ice and Peppa slips and falls on her back with a resounding thud. OUCH! Peppa has to awkwardly walk off the ice as George giggles. Peppa blows him off because it's not funny. Hey; if Lucy yanking the football from Charlie Brown is funny, then this is too. (Wow, this is a great analogy to the spot by former self here.) Here comes the parents as Daddy Pig demonstrates how dumb he is by jumping in the muddy puddle and nearly doing the splits as a result. (Good sense of balance, Daddy Pig?! More like a very low center of gravity.) It's official, muddy puddle jumping is out, now let's feed the ducks with a bag of bread...AGAIN! Oh lord, not this again. We see the yellow ducks quacking near their frozen pond as Peppa throws bread crumbs onto the frozen pond and none of them combine with the water this time. The ducks slip and slide; forcing them to use their tails to stop themselves on the ice in stereo as the pigs laugh at their expense. Sadly for them; this was in fact funny. (No, it is not former self. It was rather sadistic on Peppa's part, even if Peppa didn't do it on purpose.) The ducks eat the bread, and don't sound like they liked this sense of humor Peppa has. (This would be the fifth time they fed the ducks in the pre-Harley Bird era and they would never learn until the end of Series Four!) Then it starts to snow and the kids are giddy for this as they catch snowflakes with their hands for a while. (Complete with jingle bell sound effects.) We get closeups of them; they look identical to each other as the snow is actually accumlating. (Even funnier, it takes literally seconds to cover the ground with snow that is too slow to do that. It's magic!)

Cut to a hill as Suzy comes down the hill on her toboggan and stops in front of the Pig family for the meet and greet. Suzy offers them to come up to the big hill to see all the kids (minus Richard Rabbit) sledding. Mummy and Daddy Pig agree with this as we see Suzy Sheep returning up the hill to meet with the other kids -- minus Richard Rabbit -- and Danny Dog simply couldn't wait for the Pig family to come up because he has already sheld down the hill having the time of his life. Cut to the Pig family trying to walk up the hill and George slips and slides down to the bottom of the hill looking all confused as hell. Peppa proclaims that this was funny. Sadly for George, it was actually funny. George's response to this: Not funny. WAAHHHHHHHHHH~! Daddy Pig comes over to console them and offers to carry both George and Peppa up the hill. Mummy Pig warns Daddy Pig not to slip and Daddy Pig assures her that this will NOT happen to him. Yeah; I'll bet! The Pig adults go up the hill with the kids in tow; the kids on top of the hill are giggling as Danny Dog returns and now he wants a race. Everyone agrees and they all sled down the hill. Yes, Danny Dog has already sled the hill twice before the Pig family got to see him do so. Danny Dog is such a dick! (Worse, he got a head start on all of the kids, let alone Peppa and George. He deserves to lose big time after that display!) The Pig family gets onto the top of the hill and Mummy Pig continues to warn him about slipping. Daddy Pig doesn't look where he is going and he slips and lands on his back as the kids land on DADDY'S BIG TUMMY~! Then Daddy Pig slides down the hill with Peppa and George on top of his belly as Peppa calls him a big toboggan. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Oh; I betcha he wins the race, too. I check the video...Damn; I'm good. Candy Cat is second, Zoe Zebra is third, Rebecca Rabbit is fourth, Emily Elephant is fifth, Suzy Sheep is sixth, Danny Dog is seventh and Pedro Pony is in last place. This is the worst performance for Danny Dog so far in this series. (Danny's cheating got him wrecked. Good!) Mummy Pig comes as Peppa says it all. Daddy Pig does not think it's funny, but it is and Daddy Pig is dumb. Everyone laughs as Daddy Pig relents to end the episode and Series Two at 4:30 approx. (Not really, there is still the ten minute Christmas Special left, but that won't be posted until the end of Series Four!) Duck feeding aside, this was a great episode, mostly for the slipups. (Since they fed the ducks willfully and wantonfully, this episode gets *** 1/2 (70%).)

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; this was a really mixed bag of shorts this time around. The Powercut was the best one of the lot with Peppa Pig's infamous SCTV-equse fake news show about the power cut and Daddy Pig being dumb as usual. The Sleepover was a huge crew cut moment for Daddy Zebra as he finished the story with an awesome piano performance that made the kids go to sleep. It's also nice to see Zuzu and Zaza being the most behaved kids of the sleepover as well. Daddy Pig's Birthday was the best birthday episode so far to date as the finish was as it should be: getting new boots to jump into a custom muddy puddle. A great way to end the family's birthdates, so to speak. I dropped Cold Winter Day a bit due to the duck feeding incident, Bouncy Ball is so stupid of an episode: George gets bullied by the girls, another girls vs boys match with soccer (where the boys played by the rules, the girls did not.) and then the stupidest finish ever (with Richard scoring one goal legit and an own goal on Pedro Pony) of scoring an own goal on the dumbest goalkeeper in history. Pedro Pony is so clueless. I take back what I said about Daddy Pig Gets Fit as the worst episode in the pre-Harley Bird era and one of the worst in the series: The Quarrel was far worse. It was more mean-spirited than I thought, it made Peppa look like a total asshole, Daddy Pig look like a dumb asshole because Suzy again played by the rules and Peppa couldn't take it, like a scoiopathic troll. Peppa was touching the line of being an outright heel in that episode and Daddy Pig's defusing made it a lot worse in hindsight. Daddy Pig Gets Fit, for all of it's body shaming, at least had an awesome moment of Daddy Pig on the sofa watching television that lead to the best "fuck you" moment later in the Harley Bird. There was no mercy in The Quarrel. The rest were very fun and I did enjoy Granny & Grandpa's Attic much more on the second viewing despite the dumb ending.

That is it for Series 2 (minus the Christmas special that I won't post until after Series Four is done) and the count for Series Two is: 12 thumbs up, 4 thumbs down, 36 thumbs in the middle, for a total of 19 thumbs up, 8 thumbs down and 78 thumbs in the middle. The pre-Harley Bird era has been mostly a fun middling series with a few major clunkers that do give me pause as at least three of the episode are the worst in Peppa Pig history. Next up is Series 3, the beginning of the Harley Bird era. Harley Bird is the best voice of Peppa Pig ever and it really shows. Start with Compost as the first sign of her greatness on this show. Also, the narrator is going to get more and more cheeky as time goes on, although it's peak won't happen until Simple Science in Series Five! Also, Edmond Elephant and Mr. Potato should debut soon, along with Daddy Pig's fetish for concrete actually debuts! And much, much more! So...

Thumbs up for Daddy Pig's Birthday, The Sleepover and The Powercut; thumbs down for Bouncy Ball and The Quarrel; thumbs in the middle for everything else and I'll see you all next time.

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