20 Years Of Muddy Puddles: Peppa Pig Series Three #1

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Twenty Years Of Muddy Puddles: Peppa Pig: Series Three #1 Rant

Reviewed: 04/07/2018
Additional Commentary/Edited: 07/26/2024

The Beginning Of Harley Bird & The Cheeky Narrator!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Okay; so we head back to Series three as we start the first eleven episodes of the Harley Bird era as the gloves are finally off of this show as it turns from just a normal pre-school show into a legendary pre-school show. So; how do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Opening Moment #1: This is the debut of Harley Bird as the voice of Peppa Pig and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): At age 5 she was signed to Alphabet Kidz Talent Agency. A month later she gained the role of Peppa in the children's animated series Peppa Pig. She replaces the previous actors Lily Snowden-Fine and Cecily Bloom. She voiced Peppa for seasons 3, 4, and 5 of the series. In her role, she has lent her voice to Peppa Pig in The Official BBC Children in Need Medley, as well as various other pieces of show merchandise. She is a keen kickboxer.[7] Bird has made many TV appearances and radio broadcasts, including presenting a behind the scenes feature on CBBC's Newsround [8] and being interviewed in character as Peppa on BBC Radio One's Chris Moyles Show.[9] She became the youngest British Academy Film Award winner ever as she won the Performer award at the 2011 British Academy Children's Awards for her voice-artist work as Peppa Pig.[10][11] Harley is nominated for 'Most Promising Newcomer' at the British Independent Film Awards 2013. Bird also starred as Daisy in Blueberry, a 2009 short film which won the Audience Award at the Cinequest Film Festival,[12] She also starred as Piper alongside Saoirse Ronan [13] in Kevin Macdonald's How I Live Now, released in 2013.[14] Bird currently plays the lead role of Sammy in Disney Channel's webisode series, So Sammy.[15] Harley Bird would voice Peppa Pig until Christmas At The Hospital in Seires Six! She's currently the Tom Baker of Peppa until Ameila Bea Smith takes over that record in a few years I bet. As for the opening, I did notice that several episodes have a darker blue sky and subdued colors along with Harley Bird doing the Peppa Pig snort flourish at the end of the opening, along with saying "And this is my little brother George..." insantly after the first snort in the opening. Series Four would correct the sky, but introduce the credits when Daddy Pig is introduced before going back to Series Three's introduction in Series Five, only with the sky corrected. Whelp!

Work And Play: We begin Series three with episode #106 on the animation paper and the episode opens on the house on the hill as Daddy Pig comes out and sets up his chair. He sits down in the chair with a newspaper saying that he is doing absolutely nothing. Daddy Pig loves to do nothing...AND THE ROCK MEANS NOTHING! Even though reading the newspaper is in fact doing something. Peppa and George comes out, asking why he is not at work and Daddy Pig claims that it's Saturday. Out comes Mummy Pig to inform him that it's not Saturday, it's Thursday; which means Daddy Pig has to go to work. Daddy Pig panics, grabs the luggage, runs to the out of nowhere car, hops in and drives down the hill saying later to the family. He forgot to dress up during this, too. Daddy Pig cannot tell time. (2024 Gregory Weagle Says: Yup, they are doing more complex stories and packing in as many spots as possible now. I think it is partially due to the fact that Nick Jr. is now running Peppa Pig, and this was a compromise since American kids love too much stuff going on for something they shouldn't really care about, but do any way. It's certainly different from the first two seasons where the let the show breathe easier for the new fans to enjoy.) Everyone else goes inside and upstairs to the computer as Mummy Pig has to work as well; since it's Thursday, you see. She must be typing more cryptic letters or something as George cuts that off by pushing a button and playing Happy Mrs. Chicken again. (Again, Mummy Pig's job isn't reveal until at least Series Five. Also of note: On the corkboard in the lobby, there is a mug shot of Delphine Donkey and a castle.) Not only is this a real life game you can play on your PC; it even appeared as a mini game when Peppa Pig videogames were released on Nintendo Wii and DS by Ubi Soft. Considering that T*HQ Nordic is bringing back Nickeledeon productions, I hope they get the license for Peppa Pig with it so we can remaster this game on the Nintendo Switch. This would be awesome for my amusement and for 98% of the audience's annoyance. (Actually, Outright Games got the licensing rights to Peppa Pig, not THQ Nordic. Also sad: No Happy Mrs. Chicken present either although both Peppa Pig games on Nintendo Switch would come out in North America.) Mummy Pig cuts that off and promises to play after work.

George actually does not cry during this and just says "oh". Then we hear horns honking because here comes Mummy Sheep and Suzy Sheep in their blue car. Of course, Mummy Sheep has to park on the steepest side of the hill. Suzy and Mummy Sheep hop out of the car as Mummy Pig and Peppa Pig go outside for the meet and greet. Peppa, Suzy and Mummy Sheep get into Mummy Sheep's car which has turned around in the opposite direction within seconds. (Somethings never change. Also, this might be one of the few times if any that it's Mummy Sheep picking up Peppa and George for Playgroup. Usually, it's Mummy and Daddy Pig doing the job. I'll continue watching this show in order and see if they have Mummy Sheep pick up the children again in future episodes.) Peppa waves goodbye and tells Mummy Pig to work hard; because we must also play hard. We see Mummy Sheep's car driving westward on the boring road as Peppa asks Mummy Sheep: Work or play. Mummy Sheep claims that she's working out at the gym. Huh. I wonder why?! Peppa asks what she does at the gym and she runs, walks and skips; which Suzy Sheep calls her out because it's really play. Everyone giggles on cue. (It is possible to work by playing. It's called professional sports for a reason.) They arrive at the school house on the hill as the bell is already ringing. Out comes Suzy and Peppa, running into the school house. We sit down for the meet and greet with all the kids from Series Two; except for Richard Rabbit of course. (Because fuck that little bunny. He's not as cool as the next toddler's upcoming debut nor George Pig.) Madame Gazelle claps her hands, Suzy and Peppa sit down. (It's 9 am on the rainbow clock, so the trip to the school in Peppa Pig Time was roughly thirty minutes.) Gazelle tells us that we will be cosplaying running a store. My reaction was the same as the kids; only a lot more sarcastic. Everyone wants to be shopkeepers; but since Peppa and Suzy are best friends, they get to be shopkeepers while everyone else is a customer. Suzy and Peppa head to a table containing a child's cash register and a book shelf containing various objects. Suzy has to handle the produce while Peppa handles the customers and the counter. I don't know who to envy more in this situation. (Don't worry former self. This is not going to degenerate into Customer Wars or anything like that.) Danny Dog wants some biscuits; but there is none.

They ask if he wants a toy phone and Danny Dog is perfectly fine with this. The phone is one hundred pounds which is $180 Canadian; which is double the cost of phones today. Danny don't care as he pays no money and still takes the phone. Ummm; isn't that shoplifting?! (At least Danny's smart enough not to channel that Youtube video of someone wanting a bag of Skittles and not wanting to pay for it in a stupid robotic voice. I would rather watch and love Calliou than watch the Grounded videos on Calliou on Youtube. It's just the old "we forgot to show person paying" spot that annoys me in every show.) Pedro is next and wants a loaf of bread; but gets a toy house instead. Suzy is not good at customer relationships; but Pedro don't care. It's for one pound; but Pedro actually remembers to not have any money. Peppa don't care and he can pay next time he comes in. That's not how it works, Peppa. (None of the kids have coin, so Pedro's honesty comes off as clueless. Get used to this, Pedro is going to get even more clueless later on.) Suzy and Peppa think this is hard work. Riiigggghhhtttt. Next is Rebecca Rabbit and she wants to buy something for a million thousand pounds. In other words, a billion pounds. Why not?! It's not like anyone is giving them any money or anything. They sell the carrot and Rebecca blushes as she is owed 947 pounds. Somehow; this is funny for all the wrong reasons. the bell rings for hometime as the cars of Mummy Pony, Mummy Rabbit, Mummy Dog and Daddy Pig show up. I guess Mummy Sheep is still at the gym working out. Suzy and Peppa jump into Daddy Pig's car like everyone jumping in different cars and driving away. (In Britian, it's called "collecting" while in North America, it's called "picking up".) We exchange notes on the day at work as we return to the house on the hill and into Mummy Pig's office as Mummy Pig finally finishes her work on the computer. Yes, Mummy Pig says "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, the end." That was funny. (It's also 4 pm on the clock at this point.) The printer gives us the paper written as George pushes a button because it's time to play hard. As in Happy Mrs. Chicken play hard. In comes Peppa and Suzy after the car parks on the steepest side of the hill...AGAIN! Peppa then accuses Mummy Pig of not working like the troll that she is. Thankfully Mummy Pig corrects her as it's time to play hard and do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was a dumb, but cute episode; like most of the episodes in this series. (I enjoyed this more on the second viewing, so *** 1/4 (65%).)

The Rainbow: We continue with Series Three with episode #107 and we have a rainbow episode title in this one! Hooray! (Also an instrumental version of a song Peppa is likely to sing since I have never heard this tune in this show at this point!) Episode opens on a boring road as they are going to see the mountains today; and they are not there yet. At least Peppa only asks once as the family decides to play the game of Color Identification; in which their favorite color which is on their shirts. Look; just because I wear black shirts doesn't mean my favorite color is black. It's yellow by the way; which I'm sure will surprise a lot of people considering how much I mock the shade of banana yellow throughout these rants. (Even more surprising, Kit Cloudkicker doesn't wear those colors, nor does Molly Cunningham!) At least we got another word out of George that isn't dinosaur. Daddy Pig wins this round since it's a green car driven by Mummy Cat, and Candy Cat is in the backseat. Even then; it's the wrong shade of green, so I question this victory from Daddy Pig. Peppa and Candy greet each other and then leave in opposite directions. Next up; comes the orange crane with Danny Dog and Granddad Dog as the tow truck in Britian is called a breakdown truck. Somehow; the later definition makes more sense than the former. Danny and Peppa greet each other and the breakdown truck leaves; and then we have the blue car featuring Mummy Sheep and Suzy Sheep. George wins that round. Yes folks; the star of the show is the only one who didn't win. But wait; they are in a red car; so Peppa wins it all because (a) it was always there; so she won first and (b) even if she didn't notice until now, the main event star is the most important anyway, so she still wins this game. Too bad; she's not loving this game at all. Peppa is so happy to win despite it taking three tries to figure out that she couldn't lose this game even if she tried. (Again, Peppa is the star and everyone else is a geek. At least everyone in lovable in the show, even the troll Peppa Pig herself!) We head up the mountain and park in the parking lot. I was begging for them to do the "car struggles to get up the mountain and their encouragement makes the car make it to the top" spot; but it didn't happen, sadly. Everyone gets out as Daddy Pig calls it a sunny view. Literally one second after he said that; it starts raining. That prank spot will never get old. (Especially when the weather loves making Daddy Pig look dumb. Silence is golden, Daddy Pig! Remember that!) Everyone panics and gets in the car; and yes, the roofless car does have a retractable roof. Sadly; the cars I ride in, don't have a retractable roof. Peppa complains about the clear view and Daddy Pig finds one: Miss Rabbit's ice cream stand under a yellow striped umbrella. (Miss Rabbit Job #101.) I would love to read Ezza magazine; because it seems to be a really popular magazine in this show. Daddy Pig walks over with a red umbrella and we meet and greet. Daddy Pig wants four ice creams: Mint, Orange, Strawberry and Blueberry. Geez; green, orange, red and blue. (Orange looks more brown than orange on this show.) Huh. I wonder which flavor each member of the family is getting?

If I was booking this; I would give them the opposite flavor that they like as a rib. Yes; they eat their ice cream after being so happy to get their favorite colors and after a while, the sun comes out and a giant rainbow appears over the horizon. There is a wooden picnic table on the eastern mountain top where the rainbow touches down on; making it appear like there is a pot of gold. Daddy Pig's explaination is sort of BS; because I have see rainbows before without rain showers coming down in the area. It does happen after raining though; so it's not like Daddy Pig is way off base here and it's possible for it to happen during a sunshower. Again; this is the nature of pre-school shows when you have to explain it in the simpliest terms on complex science. (Yeah, you're trying to convince kids that science is great and exciting. What more can you do?! Scientists need to learn voice inflication and how to cut wrestling promos properly if they have any chance of beating down magical thinking at this point.) The kids are giddy since rainbows contain all their favorite colors; including mine. Daddy Pig and Mummy Pig also claim that there is treasure at the end of the rainbow, which is total BS. It's a wooden picnic table, you idiots! Let's find the end of the rainbow as we drive down the opposite side of the hill; which I am dead certain is illegal to do. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~! Peppa is singing of course; and she sings really well for someone who is of her age. (Harley Bird's voice is awesome and you can see why it took so long for her to leave the show: Harley Bird had the "it" factor Cecily Bloom and Lillyden-Snow Fine lacked. It's obvious when Harley says the title episode name, the acting, the singing, it's a complete package. Ameila Bea Smith comes close, but isn't quite there yet.) I just love her saying the word purple as peppale. (Harley pronounces purple perfectly fine. What are you talking about former self?!) We head up the hill to fetch a pail of rainbow nuts as they make it to the top of the hill and the rainbow has moved to the next hill. (There is such a thing as Rainbow Nut Butter~!) Peppa calls the rainbow cheeky; which is basically calling it a bastard. (Nah, it's a British term for self-indulgent or rude.) We drive on and sing some more as they make it to the top of the hill. The family gets out; but the rainbow is gone because the rain is gone. George literally bawls on cue the second Peppa says it's gone. (The first time George bawls in the Harley Bird era.) What a heartless bastard that rainbow is?! Oh; and they all have boots on. Daddy Pig walks over and finds the treasure and it is in a "I know how to get out of this one"; because everyone comes over and they find a muddy puddle. DING! They jump into the muddy puddle and they are muddy. Peppa calls this the greatest rainbow treasure ever. I cannot argue with that overwhelming logic there and they do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. As they say; a moral guardian's sewer is a kid's treasure. More often than not, the kid is right. (I enjoyed this one more on the second viewing, so *** 3/4 (75%). And a hearty "FUCK YOU!" to that heartless rainbow who made George cry!)

Pedro's Cough: We continue on with episode #108 on the animation paper and we open this episode with the Playgroup on the hill and zoom in as Peppa Pig, Suzy Sheep, Candy Cat, Zoe Zebra, Danny Dog, Rebecca Rabbit, Emily Elephant and Pedro Pony are sitting down to watch Madame Gazelle play guitar and sing. (Madame Gazelle is singing about Miss Polly having a doll before Pedro's cough cut her off.) However; this lasts about five seconds, because Pedro is coughing in the most unconvincing way possible. (Considering that Pedro's character is that he's lazy; I would not be surprised if he was trying to weasel his way out of Playgroup.) This is such a "vicious problem" that Madame Gazelle has to ring in Doctor Brown Bear. I've already mentioned this in the first rant on this show that Doctor Brown Bear is a fine character, but is booked in such a way that it creates unrealistic expectations of the medical system in the UK and even in Canada. Although to be fair; they only have five minutes and that's only asking for burn out. Yes; Madame Gazelle's phone look like a toy; why do you ask?! We head to Doctor Brown Bear's office as it's your typical doctor's office, with a lot of Green Crosses used; as the Red Cross trademark being strictly enforced at this point. Brown Bear answers the phone as I wonder if there's a Polar Bear in this show? (The answer is yes and it lead to the first same sex couple in Peppa Pig history. More to come in Series 7 onwards.) Madame Gazelle informs him that Pedro is ill. I realize that Pedro might have come down with something right at that time and the symptoms have surfaced; but really, this is the defintion of nipping a cold in the bud and colds do not go away that easily. I would have called Pedro's mother and have her pick up Pedro and then Mummy Pony would call Doctor Brown Bear. As you will see; this bad decision is going to cause unforeseen consequences in this storyline. (The consequences were that Doctor Brown Bear would be replaced by Doctor Polar Bear due to burnout and Doctor Brown Bear basically being a quack doctor as you'll see in this very episode!) I should note that Doctor Brown Bear's office is a house on the hill and he has a police car like car with sirens, and white with green crosses on the door. Also, it runs under ambulance rules because it bypasses all the traffic on the right side of the road. (Cameos: Grandpa Pig/Granny Pig, Granddad Dog, Daddy Cat (I believe this was his official debut as the Cat family is suppose to be an interracial couple in storyline.), Mrs. Cow (In her debut appearance I do believe), Daddy Zebra, and Doctor Elephant.) In other words, Doctor Brown Bear's office doubles as a hospital. (No it doesn't. There is a hospital in Peppa Pig, it just doesn't happen until Pedro breaks his leg.)

Yeah; this is stupid as Brown Bear enters huffing and puffing. (Doctor needs to be fitter than this. Even Kit Cloudkicker as an adult in Ducktales 2017 was pretty fit for someone who got karma struck on him since he didn't want to be old and fat.) We do some checking on the cough as Pedro claims that it started when Madame Gazelle was singing. Okay; that was funny. (Why did you give this episode ** former self?! Even more obvious that Pedro was faking it: Doctor Brown Bear asks what kind of cough it is and Pedro Pony doesn't know. Just exposes him as faking it. This was the first sign that Peppa Pig was going to be the big global success that it turned out to be, because of moments like this. It's going to get more obvious as time goes on.) Brown Bear claims that it's not serious; but it could infect everyone. Uh-oh; this is going to be a problem. (Yeah sure, former self.) Pedro takes medicine out of the pink bottle and it's basically Buckley's Cold Remedy Of Bad Taste, because it tastes awful and it works. Quite frankly; the reactions to the medicine by everyone was the best part of this episode. (No argument there, former self.) Pedro claims that it tastes like an old shoe covered in jam. Brown Bear is about to leave; and suddenly, Danny Dog and Suzy Sheep have the cough, or are faking it. Something tells me that they are doing it just to see if Pedro is lying about how awful the medicine is. (BINGO! The fact that Doctor Brown Bear has no idea what is going on, just makes me laugh. Can you not bury this poor doctor deep within the earth, show?!) Brown Bear turns around and Pedro has that smile like this was his plan all along. What a horse's ass Pedro is?! Suzy calls the medicine carpet-flavored yogurt and Danny claims that it tastes like flowers. (Yup, this is the beginning of Danny Dog having issues with flowers. Why?! I don't think the show ever officially explained it. Maybe in Series Eight...) Brown Bear's reaction to this is so clueless it's not even funny. (I beg to differ on the funny part, former self.) Peppa asks if he has ever been ill; and the good doctor claims that this has NEVER happened to him. (See, Quack Doctor~! Most good doctors are much more humble than this.) Wanna bet that Brown Bear gets Pedro's cough in this episode?!(Easiest bet to win, I assure thee.) Yes; we do the joke about doctors and eating an apple a day. It doesn't work if you are the doctor, logic-wise. (Again, QUACK~! Even Virgil Reality was more humble than Doctor Brown Bear. I need to rinse my mouth out now. ) Brown Bear leaves as all the cars stop outside as the bell rings. All the parents walk into the class room, including Daddy Pony, who is an eye doctor and fits glasses. Yes; there is an episode about him, it's just not on this set. (Another episode I ranted out of order.)

We exchange notes for a long while. (The parents all go blank stares on the "horrible medicine part". That was funny.) Then Gazelle tries to sing her song; and she catches Pedro's cough. All the adults catch Pedro's cough; including Pedro's Daddy. (Former self confused Mummy Dog with Mummy Pony! No wonder your review of this episode sucks!) I also should note that this is Mummy Elephant's debut for rant purposes. (Incorrect, former self. It was Doctor Elephant. How ironic, eh?!) Peppa grabs Gazelle's cell phone and we head back to Brown Bear in his office talking to Peppa; because there are a lot of sick grownups in the school now. Yes; Brown Bear is on his way and then runs in after an ambulance driving sequence. Hello, Doctor Bear~! Everyone has spoonfuls of medicine as everyone hates the medicine; as Gazelle claims that the medicine tasted like custard with old socks. (Doctor Pony and Doctor Elephant didn't get medicine. Ironic!) Peppa never got sick in this episode actually. (Remember thy theory on this show: Peppa's the star and everyone else is a geek! Although Zoe Zebra, Rebecca Rabbit, Candy Cat and Emily Elephant never got sick either! The kids giggling also exposes them for being hilariously bad actors. By the way, in certain full shots, the rainbow clock is written out and in by teleport! How about that for magic?!) Pedro thanks Brown Bear for his services and Brown Bear claims that he's never ill...and then he coughs. Uh-oh! I knew this bear was a quack doctor! Brown Bear waves goodbye and leaves. Yeah; Doctor Brown Bear is ill now and probably suffering from burnout. Gazelle wonders what to do now and everyone frowns and groans on cue. We jump cut to Brown Bear's office and Brown Bear gets out of his car; which is parked on the steepest side of the hill. He heads inside and if anyone doubts what I said about this office doubling as a hospital: There is a hospital bed in a room and Brown Bear lies in it. This is also stupid as the doorbell rings as everyone comes in with Suzy Sheep in nurse gear and Danny Dog has a fruit salad bowl. Pedro Pony has some pillows (In Britian they are cushions.). Of course, Suzy Sheep makes the quack doctor take his own medicine! Brown Bear hates the taste as he calls it custard flavored, yogurt smelling socks. I think that is what he said, but either way Gazelle brings out the banjo and it's time to SING BABEE to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Yeah; this was a low point for the show; but the reactions to the medicine saved it somewhat (Are you kidding me former self?! Okay, this episode was far from flawless, but I was laughing my ass off so much at the kids just playing mind games on the adults that I cannot give this less than **** (80%) in good conscience. What more can I say; but to say this episode tasted like custard flavored old shoes and socks. And that's a good thing, thank you! Also, if you want to know what the full song Madame Gazelle was singing: It's about a dolly who is sick and needs a doctor. You couldn't write a better ironic echo ending than that.)

The Library: Next up is episode #109 on the animation paper as we head to the house on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Mummy and Daddy Pig have already tucked Peppa and George in their bunk beds for the night; and are saying goodnight. Peppa wants a story; but not the Red Monkey because she knows it by heart. Mummy Pig is a bit embarrased by this, Peppa jumps down and checks the book shelf of book containing colored animal anthros. Then she finds a grey book and gives it to Mummy Pig. It has a cement mixer as a picture as we discover that it's called: "The Wonderful World Of Concrete", so it's clearly Daddy Pig's book. (It was on the shelf with the rest of the books and Daddy Pig couldn't find it?! Daddy Pig is dumb! Sadly, this is the least dumb thing he does in this episode!) This begins the gimmick in earnest of Daddy Pig having a fetish for references to concrete; and this fetish is one that Daddy Pig is going to regret when Simple Science in Series Five runs it's course. (Don't forget "Parking Ticket" which almost surpassed "Simple Science" later on.) Daddy Pig claims that he borrowed it from the library as Peppa wants to know what a library is.Daddy and Mummy Pig explain what a library is and Daddy Pig's book is long overdue. How long overdue?! We'll soon find out. Peppa wants him to read about this concrete book and gets back in bed. Daddy Pig starts reading and barely one chapter in after an introduction into what concrete is, everyone falls asleep. Concrete books: ultimate cure for insomnia. Even Mummy Pig has fallen asleep on the out of nowhere chair, so even Mummy was trying to escape this story. Daddy Pig is confused as we head to the library in the morning. Daddy's car parks on the steepest side of the hill again. (It's also 10 am on the clock outside.) Everyone goes into the library as Peppa is being as noisy as humanly possible. Daddy Pig tells her quiet because they are trying to read and be quiet. Cut to the counter with -- guess who -- Miss Rabbit being even louder than Peppa! Well; she must run the library, so DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS~!) doesn't apply to her, I guess. Then again; this is Miss Rabbit we are talking about here. (Miss Rabbit Job #111!) Mummy Pig has six file folderish books to give to Miss Rabbit and scans them like in the checkout store and everything's fine. The scanner is used to make sure no one lies about the due date of books. Daddy Pig at least admits that this book is overdue and claims that it's merely a bit overdue. Miss Rabbit herself thinks Daddy Pig cannot be THIS naughty, but the computer scans and it beeps, red lights flicker on screen with a really cheeky sad face. Miss Rabbit is in shock because Daddy Pig had that book overdue for ten years! Naughty Daddy Pig!

Daddy Pig blushes and apologizes for it. Then Miss Rabbit just forgives him and allows him to borrow another book! There is no fine, no suspension, no paying for a new book, no banishment from the library, nothing. They must live in Trafford. (The math checks out.) Peppa and George ask about borrowing books and Miss Rabbits shows them the children's section; which is because the adult section with a more child friendly appearance. Fun fact: The fairy book Peppa digs out actually has Princess Holly from Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom on the front cover. (Maybe one day, I'll review the television show. Maybe. Get used to this, you're going to see Ben and Holly cameo a lot more often on this show from here on out!) Peppa searches through the book shelves as in comes Danny Dog with a book about football. Soccer, not NFL football. Polly Parrot also makes a cameo as Suzy Sheep comes in with a white cross book because she wants to learn nursing. George of course wants to read about dinosaurs as he uses it to growl at the kids. Daddy Pig comes in with a book with a bucket and more concrete. And people accuse GEORGE of having a one track mind?! Mummy Pig finds a Red Monkey book and Peppa blows it off calling it boring because it's the same old story. But wait; this Red Monkey book has a blue cover on it, which means, it's not the same story because Peppa doesn't know that the Red Monkey can have a series of stories, just like her own damn show! Wait; why is Mr. Dinesaur in this book?! Could it be possible that Mummy Pig's work has been to write bedtime stories about the Red Monkey?! Inquiring minds would love to know. (Well, we'll soon find out after Series Five.) Also, this monkey climbs mountains as the story ends and Peppa Pig is amused. Even better; the adults that enter are Daddy Pony (Pedro Pony was with him earlier but doesn't show up with the kids), Mr. Rabbit, Granddad Dog and Mummy Cat; only Granddad Dog has Danny Dog as his guardian! Where's Mummy Sheep?! (She was seen upstairs at the beginning of the segment inside the library.) Even George is not buying this crap. Peppa wants to borrow two books along with Red Monkey Book #2; Miss Rabbit tells them they could as long as they return it on time, especially if you are Daddy Pig. Peppa Pig will make sure of them as everyone except Miss Rabbit does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Now I'm interested in Mummy Pig's work. Another fine episode. (Daddy Pig's overdue library books about concrete makes this episode a *** 1/2 (70%).)

The Camper Van: This is the first of a two parter which are episodes #110-#111 on the animation paper. (This is the first TV two parter of this series as the Christmas Special was a full ten minute special. Also, another new piece of music to tease Peppa singing it later on in the episode!) The episode opens on the house on the hill as Peppa, George and Mummy Pig walk out the back door. Mummy Pig is carrying luggage; so I suggest that a holiday is fast approaching. Peppa is giddy about this; but doesn't see Daddy Pig and is not thrilled. Mummy Pig claims that Daddy Pig has a secret surprise for them; and in comes Daddy Pig honking the horn. It's a banana yellow bus like camper van. This is not a British localization of recreational vehicle nor motorhome. The term motorhome is sometimes used interchangeably with campervan, but the former can also be a larger vehicle than a campervan and intended to be more comfortable, whilst the latter is more concerned with ease of movement and lower cost. For example, some campervans lack built-in toilets and showers, or a divide between the living compartment and the cab.The United States term "recreational vehicle" (RV) is more analogous to motorhome than campervan. In fact; Daddy Pig's campervan is more closer to the Volkswagon Westfalia Camper. Speaking of British localization; it is borrowed, not rented. Everyone gets into the camper van as this camper van is like the TARDIS of camper vans. It's back contains a fridge, sink and a four button control panel with the red button working the sink. There is also a built in television in the cupboards, controlled by the yellow button. Peppa and George are in awe of this. Isn't the whole point of a camper van was to get away from television, not to be reminded of it?! (Ooooo, sick burn there former self.) Mummy Pig asks about the green button and Daddy Pig doesn't know and decides to err on the side of caution until they know. (If only Daddy Pig did this a lot more often.) The blue button is blue about being ignored, as usual. Somehow we get a jarring jump cut of the camper van bring at the side of the house instead of the back as Mummy Pig asks if everyone is ready as she is driving and Daddy Pig does the map reading, and anyone who has watched two episodes of Mummy Pig driving should know where this is going. Daddy Pig actually answering the question is funny though. Mummy Pig drives down the hill and onto the boring road. Peppa Pig sings the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM to waste time. Which is five seconds as Daddy, of course screws up the map reading by reading it upside down as Peppa is worried about this, and Daddy tells her not to worry. Mummy asks if they are lost and Daddy admits yes. HA! In comes Granddad Dog driving in his breakdown truck with Danny Dog for the meet and greet. Granddad Dog asks Daddy Pig if his "Sat Nav" is broken and Daddy Pig is confused, because it's clear he is not an expert on Sat Navs. It's basically the British version of Gobal Positioning System or GPS. The camper van is a model T-3200 and thus it is standard. It's the green button that controls the Sat Nav; which has a really Gameboy-equse monitor screen.

Peppa is amazed by this and even communcates it like it is a human being; which amuses me. She calls it Mrs. Camper Van; which would be a hell of a name in the real world. Sat Nav is voiced by Sarah Roper by the way; this version of SN anyway. SN reveals the path, which is one straight line east. Mummy Pig drives away as everyone sings the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM to waste some more time. (One of the few times within an episode that the family actually sings!) Then SN glows all red and the gas can symbol comes out to reveal that the CV is running low on fuel. Peppa asks about oil and Daddy Pig says it's the thing that makes engines run. Better question: why didn't Daddy Pig refuel the thing before he showed off the surprise?! Daddy Pig is dumb. Even dumber, he thinks this warning is not a concern and they have enough fuel to get to the camp site. (Suuurrreeee. Maybe my Daddy's car can get away with this, but Daddy Pig...Nope!) Of course, the CVSN officially declares that the camper van is out of gas and the camper van stops on a dime. Daddy Pig is dumber than he was two minutes ago. Sat Nav's response to no oil was to cross out the oil can. HAHA! But wait; Daddy Pig did remember to grab a spare can of oil and hops out of the CV. He opens the front and then starts to panic because there is no engine in the front of the camper van. There is a lot of echoing effects in this; I don't know why. 2:1 odds that the engine is in the back; because if there is truly no engine, how is this CV even running?! (Yup. Daddy Pig is really dumb today.) In comes Mummy Sheep and Suzy Sheep for more meeting and greeting as Peppa explains the situation. Mummy Sheep is as confused as everyone else. Mummy Sheep then walks to the back claiming that she has no expertise on engines, except she opens the back and does at least know that there such things as the engine being in the back. Daddy Pig is dumb. I'm shocked he didn't blush right there as he pours oil into the engine top and that is that. Daddy Pig gets into the CV and wakes farewell to Mummy Sheep. (Hey, at least Daddy Pig handles being embarrassed a lot better than most male characters in cartooning, even Kit Cloudkicker!) Then we head to the campsite AFTER HAPPY HOUR as the CV goes up the hill and reaches it's destination, according to Sat Nav. The curtains surround the windows of the CV as the kids change into their pjs and hold their toys as Peppa is confused about where they are sleeping tonight. Apparently; there are two buttons on the counter that came completely out of nowhere. Daddy Pig and Mummy Pig sleep on the purple sofabed; while the little ones sleep upstair on the top camper roof and once again; everything looks like a TARDIS as the upstairs looks like a small tent. Oh; and this camper van has bunk beds like at home. The parents are in their pj's now as the place is dark. Daddy Pig says good night as we cut to an outside shot of the CV to end part one at 4:30 approx. (Daddy Pig calls them his little piggies again!) This was all right, but the second half of this two parter is the better one anyway. *** (60%).

Camping Holiday: Next up is the bottom half of the two parter as we head back to the campsite for a night to morning cartoon shot of doom. A cock crows followed by Daddy Pig snorting as he says good morning to the children. (The first time has says "Good morning, my little piggies!" Creep.) Everyone snorts as the curtains rise and the family gets out of the CV. Mummy Pig suggests they spend the day looking at nature. Daddy Pig loves this and brings out the television -- with no wires mind you -- and turns it on. Somehow, this television has cable as we watch a nature program on birds. HAHA! Then, the brown bird that annoyed Grandpa Pig in a previous episode shows up to perch on the television and crows at the family. (Scarecrow, everyone.) Daddy Pig shoos the bird away; earning a well deserved blow off from Mummy Pig because watching television about nature in the middle of nature is completely and utterly pointless. (No lies detected.) Daddy Pig finally blushes and stammers like a stupid idiot. (Daddy Pig is having a horrible day in terms of intellegence. And to think, it's nothing compared to Simple Science...) Mummy Pig brings out the brochures of places like Tree World which is a big forest, full of trees. Peppa calls this a bit boring; which a lot of moral guardians have been saying about this show. (Really?! I thought Moral Guardians hated this show because Peppa Pig is a rude, naughty little troll...) Then there is Potato City; but that is overruled since they will go to Potato City in Series Four; so that leaves Duck Land and since Peppa loves ducks in a river, she gets giddy about this. We head into the CV as Mummy Pig pushes the green button to turn on Sat Nav; and Peppa asks for Duck Land, please. (Okay, that was funny.) Sat Nav gives them the directions to go west as the CV is turned into the opposite direction via teleport, as usual with this show. Daddy Pig is driving now as we head west on the boring road, so another TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM ensues. We head to the booth where the Duck Land ticket booth and gift shop is. (Complete with firewood and charcoal bags.) Guess who runs this booth? If you guessed Miss Rabbit; you win the no-prize. (Job #123!) Daddy Pig has the picnic basket filled with food, of course as it's two adults and two children. I just love how there is a guard barrier at the booth in an area where there is NO FENCE to surround the area. The family gets their tickets, bracelets would make more sense here. They walk in through the barrier and make it to the river. Where are the ducks?! Yes, those were the exact same words Peppa was saying. Mummy Pig thinks they are on holiday. (If only Mummy Pig, if only.)

Daddy Pig sets up the picnic and they have the picnic because the ducks always show up for picnics, for no reason. And damn them to hell if they aren't right. A lot of ducks means a lot of feeding just to annoy me. (This would be the first duck feeding in the Harley Bird era and #6 since this show started. It's going to get worse from here.) Peppa loves duck land, HUZZAH~! The family returns to the CV and gets in. Mummy Pig turns on Sat Nav and wonders what the shortest route is to get home. The Sat Nav proclaims that the shortest way to get home is to drive straight into the river. Mummy is confused; but Sat Nav is serious about them driving into the river as even Peppa thinks this is stupid. In real life; this is really stupid. Daddy Pig claims that Sat Nav is talking nonsense as Sat Nav tells them to push the blue button, the one button that has never been pressed until right now. Because you see, the camper van is also a small family sized ferry. This is the greatest camper van of all time and if there isn't one in real life; this world is even more awful than I thought it would be. Oh; and the control panel is mirrored now for no reason. The CV drives into the river and the wheels go into the CV as a result. However; the CV rides on the river as it has a pirate mast as a flag. 2:1 odds that this is Grandpa Pig's Camper Van. Which would explain why it was borrowed and not rented without resorting to British to American translations. Welcome to the car of the future and I feel sad that this future has not come. Yet. Oh; hello Granddad Dog and Danny Dog on their tugboat. (Again, adults don't wear lifejackets, but Danny thou must!) Tugboat toots, Daddy sounds awkard as he drives the camper van due west. (The family sings again, I should note for the fourth time in this two parter I do believe.) Daddy Pig drives up the next hill and we have a whiplashing jump cut of the camper van finally parking at the house on the hall AFTER HAPPY HOUR. Peppa thanks Mrs. Camper Van for her services as the family gets out and walks into the home. Jump cut to Peppa's bedroom as Peppa and George are in their bunk beds, with pjs on and holding their toys, just like in the last episode. Peppa is tucked in as Peppa thinks being home is nicer than being on holiday. Cut back outside as Daddy Pig says good night to his little piggies and that ends the episode at 4:30 approx. Just another Peppa Pig love in with a really great finish with the camper van turning into a boat. *** 1/2 (70%). (When this show does ten minute episodes, it's the far end of the sweet spot for this show. Anything after that, the quality drops like a stone. That's why they only did two fifteen minute specials!)

Compost: Here is episode #112 on the animation paper as we open on the house on the hill and zoom into the kitchen. Harley Bird's pronouncation of the word compost is a banger! I mean it, too. (I see Harley Bird is totally into her character now.) We see Daddy Pig at the kitchen table peeling potatoes for their vegatable soup. (It's 11 am today.) The peelings are laid on the table next to Peppa, Mummy and George. Peppa asks if she can help and Daddy Pig asks her to clean away the peelings from the table. Peppa giggles as she grabs the peelings and teases putting them in the trash can; but Mummy Pig orders her to stop. You see, organic peelings do not go into the trash can, they get their own seperate recyling bin; called the compost bin. It's brown and has a tree logo on it. I should also note that Mummy Pig calls the trash bin the normal bin. Why?! I have no idea. Oh; and banana peels are called banana skin in Britian. I mention this because George and Mummy Pig bring it up when they show the compost bin. This bin is heading to Grandpa Pig for him to use. Which prompts Peppa Pig to ask if they eat the peelings. HAHA! Of course they don't; but it's still funny. Grandpa Pig uses it to mend his garden and help the plants grow. Peppa and George are in awe as Mummy Pig decides to go to Grandpa Pig's house after lunch with the kids. Jump cut to outside on the boring road westward with Mummy Pig driving with George and Peppa in the back seat. Once again; they park on the steepest side of the hill next to the white house on the hill. Peppa and George run down the hill towards Grandpa Pig with the compost bin as George is still calling him "Papa Ig" at this point. Grandpa Pig is digging up stuff in the garden as Peppa asks about the plants eating the peelings and Grandpa Pig corrects her stating that they are for the compost heap. Which is a wooden box with a sliding door to open when the peelings turn into soil. Peppa thinks it's a magic box; but the secret is all those wiggly purple worms inside said box. It's a lot more than just that; but it's a pre-school show and you don't want to overload a child's brain too much early on that they'll turn on the show for being too boring. Peppa wants more wiggly worms as they dig in a bare dirt portion of the garden like a bunch of dogs. I think they broke the record for the most wiggling of the legs within ten seconds; which is far more than those purple wiggly worms.

The kids grab the worm and skip to their lous. Peppa sings a really off-key song which sounds like she's taunting the worm. (This is the money shot of the entire episode: "You're a wiggly worm! You're a wiggly worm! How do you do?! I love you! You're a wiggly worm!" Now imagine skipping and taunting the worm with this song while singing and fumbling with the words. This is one of those ironic moments for me watching this show and made Harley Bird a star among stars with this character.) Mummy Pig and Grandpa Pig help Peppa and George put the wiggly worms into the compost heap, all while I need a drink and a walk. Peppa's pronouncation of compost is awesome still, by the way. Grandpa Pig tries to explain some more, but Peppa cuts him off and explains it to us. What a troll?! At least she was sort of accurate in her promo, so I can forgive her trolling for that. Next up we head to the orchard as Peppa suddenly doesn't know what an orchard is, which means that the series has been rebooted to a certain extent. Not that it matters, since the later Series are the best quality of episodes anyway, but it slightly annoys me. Grandma Pig has her basket on the ground as George is still calling her "Ganny Ig". When is George going to get over that speech impediment?! Although; if he does get over it, I will miss all the times he pronounces presto as pesto. (Nope, never does get over it and it seems to infect Peppa in Peppa Pig Tales for some reason.) Peppa and George want to help; and they cannot jump high enough to grab the apples. Kylie isn't available until Series Four anyway. (Neither is Rebecca Rabbit for that matter, at least in this episode.) Grandpa and Grandma Pig have that one secret trick: Shake the tree with five people. Okay. They shake the tree, the apples come down and one bonks off Grandpa Pig's head. So his name is Issac Newton Pig then! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BONK! OUCH! Ummmm...Where did this apple come from?! Peppa asks if she can have an apple and Grandma Pig gives Peppa and George an apple each. The kids eat the apples as Grandpa Pig asks what they do with the apple cores. Peppa is confused; but George is not. Wiggle, wiggle, into the compost heap, wiggle, wiggle! Everyone looks into the compost heap with the worms attacking the apple core and then everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was a great episode complete with the funniest Peppa singing ever! **** (80%).

Richard Rabbit Comes To Play: Moving right along, here is episode #113 on the animation paper as we head to the house on the hill and it is raining hard. We zoom into the bedroom as Peppa and George are making a block house and giggling about it. Then the doorbell rings and Daddy Pig off-screen informs George that Richard Rabbit is here to play. George takes Mr. Dinesaur and runs out to meet Richard as both parents of each family has an umbrella, so they get to watch Richard and George cosplay their dinosaur toys for a while. (Richard's pronouncation of dinosaur is better than George's pronouncation by the way.) Richard calls George, Georgie by the way. Mr. Rabbit is the one who brought Richard over here and the kids run inside, not caring what Mr. Rabbit has to say. Oh well, Miss Rabbit is a more compelling story anyway. The little ones head to Peppa's bedroom and they grab the bouncy ball and play bounce catch. This also makes the place shake of course. Peppa's block house falls down and she protests this outrage. George don't care as he is giggling and he over turns the basket as the trees tumble upright on the ground as the narrator claims that it's now a volcano that has buried Teddy. Wow; George really has had enough of Peppa's trolling antics if he's stooping to this low. (Teddy don't care, because neither does Peppa in storyline.) Richard finds more plastic trees to make a forest, which the narrator is trying to sell us as a jungle. Epic fail! George uses alphabet blocks to build a river. More bouncing, and dinosaur cosplaying makes Peppa Pig go something something. Go call Suzy Sheep for help?! Don't mind if Peppa does! (Peppa needs to go nuts for this to work. Former self does an epic fail of it's own!) Peppa leaves in protest as we see Daddy and Mummy Pig watch Mr. and Mrs. Potato sing a song about the pronouncation of potato, which is like singing a song about the pronouncation of tomato. Who cares about that?! I'm more interested in Peppa's troll plan to get back at George and Richard actually. Daddy Pig basically says that rainy days equal important television viewing. Of course! (This I think is the first episode for the Potato couple and Goldie The Goldfish in Series Three!) Peppa comes in all frowny and whiny; and the parent have that smile that reads "What do you want us to do about it?". (Okay, I died when former self said that.) Mummy Pig does allow Peppa to call Suzy Sheep to come over as Daddy Pig phones the Sheep residence and Peppa and Suzy both answer the phone on both ends.

After a deal is struck involving the nurse's costume; Peppa wants her to come over, quickly. Cut to outside and apparently Mummy Sheep has TWO cars as she is using a roofed cheese colored car. I guess she divorced the cheese reporter. See what you have done, Chargeman Ken?! (Wait, so Ken Izumi just exposed the cheese reporter as a male stripper?! Huge if true.) Suzy gets out with Mummy Sheep as the door bell is rung. Peppa answers the door and gets all giddy as the kids run into the house before Mummy Sheep can finish what she was going to say. I am not surprised by this revelation. They run upstairs and this causes earthquakes. They head into the bedroom and Peppa takes over as Suzy and Peppa clean up the room of everything as George and Richard have looks in the camera that read "Can you believe this?". Now the place is a hospital; which apparently takes care of sick toys. I think Teddy should be given a look right now, it's the most diseased toy in the room right now. (Peppa should be in prison on toy abuse charges right now.) They put the dinosaur toys in bed. The little ones are not liking this and Suzy tells them to shut up because it's a hospital you see. Trust me; this trolling is going to get even crueler now. George overturns the basket and finds a choo-choo train. This logically leads to the hospital being changed into a train station. Richard blew the whistle on this trollish behavior as Peppa throws everything anyway and brings out the fairy motifs as trains aren't allowed in fairy land; and neither are dinosaurs as only pretty things are allowed. You bigoted trolls!! Richard and George bawl their eyes out on cue and I don't blame them. This is the most rigid genderized fairyland I have ever seen! In comes Daddy Pig and Mummy Pig demanding answers to this outrage. Daddy Pig notices the sun is now out after Suzy and Peppa whine about George and Richard's games; because they like little boy games and Suzy and Peppa like big girl games. Sigh; you were doing so well until you brought GENDER into this conversation. Luckly; Daddy Pig has a way to get them out of this. Take one guess what it is. Yip; it's jumping up and down in muddy puddles. DING! That's exactly what they do, in their costumes no less! That's an awesome visual to end the episode at 4:30 approx. If they had kept the gender thing out of this; this would have been great. Otherwise, it's *** 1/4 (65%).

Fun Run: This is episode #114 on the animation paper as we head to the school house on the hill as there are cars parked outside and it's raining. This also begins the gimmick for rant purposes of the school house having a leaky roof as the roof is messed up. (Actually, this is the second time in this series that the roof is leaking, as the first episode was Jumble Sale.) Head inside with all the children (minus George and Richard) and all the adults (minus Mummy Rabbit, Mummy Cat, Mummy Dog, Daddy Rabbit, and Daddy Pony) as they watch the rain go into the bucket. (I believe this is Daddt Cat's second appearance on this show, but hasn't spoke yet.) Madame Gazelle asks how they can fix up the school roof and Daddy Pig suggests that they have a fun run. Suzy asks what is a "funny run"; which by the end of this episode was accurate. A "funny" run is a picnic with them paying money to see the sponser run. Gazelle thinks that is such a wonderful idea that she is making sure Daddy Pig owns this idea. As in: How far can you run?! Sounds to me that Daddy's Big Tummy is more into shape than his humming bird rear end's ability to cash checks his overloaded motor mouth. (No lies detected.) Daddy blushes and claims that he'll run as far as Gazelle wants. Yip; he's screwed. The parents all back away because they will give money to see Daddy Pig run. Yip; he's really screwed. Peppa claims Daddy cannot run at all. Yip, Peppa is still a troll. (Especially after Sports Day in Series Two where Daddy Pig had no trouble running, and only lost because Peppa is such a chatterbox.) Madame Gazelle thanks Daddy Pig and Daddy Pig does a 0.3 Rock Lobster Yeti frowny face. This is not going to end well for him. (Again, no lies detected.) Cut to afternoon at the house on the hill as we cut to the kitchen table with Daddy Pig eating his third helping of spaghetti and he wants a fourth helping, because he needs energy to run. (Yes, the no sauce gimmick rears it's ugly head again!) Mummy Pig points out that he needs to practice running (In Britian; it's "practise". Like defense is "defence" for instance.). Daddy Pig wants to practice eating today, and running tomorrow. Peppa blows it off because it's time to play tag and Daddy Pig is it. Peppa and George run out of the house with Daddy Pig in tow as they run downhill and Daddy Pig has no trouble. If your feet suck; it's worse downhill than uphill actually, but that's my feet of course.

Daddy Pig runs uphill as he struggles and blushes, because he's not all that fit. Daddy Pig claims that the spaghetti did him in as his tummy rumbles and splashes water. Jump cut to the day of the "funny run" complete with starting line and Miss Rabbit's bus on the western side of the hill. At least it's not on the steepest side of the hill this time. The bell rings as we head inside with everyone as Daddy Pig is doing stretches and Gazelle shows off the big map of the entire course. Apparently; it's a five KM fun run. This leads to a really funny moment: Daddy Pig runs the map course, then declares the fun run to be over and the roof is fixed. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Okay, this was funny; but unlike Daddy Pig Gets Fit, this will get even funnier. A reminder: Daddy Pig was the one who suggested this fun run in the first place. It's all on him this time around.) Sadly; Daddy Pig is wrong and dumb. Basically; Daddy Pig has to get to Windy Castle by running past the supermarket and Granddad Dog's garage to get there by the way. Thankfully; they only do this once; I hate for Dora The Explorer to file a lawsuit on this show for gimmick infringement. Madame Gazelle pushes him out the door to the starting line as Gazelle has the red flag and it's ready, steady, GO~! Pretty much every adult they could find made the trip; including Grandpa Pig! Everyone else is in the bus with Miss Rabbit driving and cheering Daddy Pig on; who is running and panting, and hasn't reached the supermarket yet. This leads to the steep hill climb of the bus as it's slow going and the bus looks like it is going to croak at anytime; but it barely makes it to Windy Castle. (Yes, they even did the "You can do it!" chant! About damn time they did that.) Everyone gets out and has their picnic and in a surprise, the ducks don't show up! AWESOME! Cut back to Daddy Pig turning into a steamed ham as he wants a bottle of water. And just to be trolls, we cut back to everyone else at Windy Castle drinking bottles of water. That had to be Peppa's idea, there's no way anyone would figure this one out on their own. (Mummy Pig even says "what" like she's pronouncing it as water at the beginning of her promo. Yup, troll move!)

Daddy Pig makes it to the supermarket as we see Doctor Brown Bear in the background shopping. Daddy Pig returns with a bottle of water as I hear strange noises from the automatic door openers. Daddy Pig drinks the bottle of water and runs stage right. Cut back to the tower of Windy Castle as Peppa is looking at the yellow telescope with Grandpa Pig helping her. Daddy Pig's running has been reduce to fast walking as Daddy Pig is blushing and probably suffering heat cramps. He cannot go on as he does make it to Granddad Dog's garage and Granddad Dog actually is at the garage. Everyone at Windy Castle sighs; because their meal ticket may have realized that his toxic motor mouth has cost them a new roof. Granddad Dog opens his freezer and gives him the energy and cooldowness of an ice lolly. (Hey, former self invented a cool word! I'll get my coat.) Daddy Pig grabs the lolly, opens it and licks it as he has stopped blushing. Daddy Pig thanks Granddad Dog... And then, making it's return for sweet revenge on Daddy Pig: the evil half murder hornet wasp! (Daddy Pig is screwed, but I repeat myself.) Daddy Pig panics and starts running up the hill like crazy as everyone pops for Daddy Pig. Daddy Pig runs around Windy Castle at least four times as Madame Gazelle tells him to stop running. Then get that wasp away from him then! You are sounding like Peppa The Troll Pig now. After the fourth time around the tower; the wasp gives up and runs stage left. Somehow the ice lolly has stayed intact during it. Oh; and the extra running helped Miss Rabbit get a new bus as well. Everyone thanks Daddy Pig as Daddy Pig is most welcome causing everyone to do the backsplash laugh, except for Daddy Pig himself to end the episode at 4:30 approx. (That's amazing strength considering how tired Daddy Pig must have been after that run. That is one powerful ice lolly that it might be a Larson & Gary special. Oh, and Daddy Zebra lost his hat during the backsplash laugh. Damn that half-murder hornet wasp!) One of the funniest early Series Three episodes, because Daddy Pig was forced to own his idea. **** 1/4 (85%).

Washing: Moving right along is episode #115 on the animation paper as we head on the house on the hill as the back door opens to reveal the family walking to a clothesline. Daddy Pig has a basket of white laundry and he pins a white shirt with the number five on it, still wet as hell. Peppa asks what it is and it's Daddy Pig's soccer shirt. He's playing soccer this afternoon after work. (Again, soccer is known as World Rules Football outside of North America.) He takes his briefcase and head into the out of nowhere red car. He drives away down the hill as Peppa feels sad for about ten seconds. Peppa and the family bail stage left. Jump cut Peppa jumping up and down in muddy puddles wearing her yellow boots. (Written in by teleport as well. SUZY SHEEP?!) George and Mummy Pig join in and Mummy Pig is causing so much mud splatter (and earthquakes) that she splashes mud all over Daddy Pig's soccer shirt. Uh-oh! (Yeah, this is all on Mummy Pig this time. No two ways about it!) Peppa is the only one with mud on her dress by the way as the narrator acts like this might result in Daddy Pig killing someone. (Good luck fools! Daddy Pig can only kill us softly with his love for concrete!) Mummy Pig tells them not to worry because they will just wash it again as they bring the basket in, and yes; the washing machine doubles as a dishwasher. Don't ask me why. The cleaning agent is known as ZAP Bubbles~! (It's also 5 PM on the clock and thus close to home time for Daddy Pig, so in Peppa Pig time, they better haul ass!) Peppa notices that her dress is muddy, so she puts it into the basket after Mummy and George bail to find more clothes. Peppa is in fact wearing a mid-riff shirt and underwear; which makes her less risque than Molly Cunningham was, and that's a good thing. In comes Mummy Pig and George with white socks and white stuff to put in the dishwasher that doubles into a washing machine. (By the way, even though Peppa is at fault for putting her red dress with the whites, it's Mummy Pig's fault for not noticing them and removing them since she can only use the washing machine. I'm just pointing out because Peppa doesn't know what happens when color is added to whites, but Mummy Pig certainly knows!)

I should note that the washing machines in Britian are different from North America: In North America, they load from the top. In Britian, they are similar to a laundromat washing machine, or even a dryer here in North America. We turn on the washing machine that doubles as a dishwasher and this spot was designed to justify them gleefully bouncing, giggling and causing earthquakes. I realize that washing machines shake around; but they don't typically cause the ground to shake. Mummy Pig then notices Peppa without her dress and Peppa gleefully points out that it's being washed. Uh-oh! Mummy Pig does not like this at all as the washing machine stops and out comes Peppa's dress, as it's brand spanking new. However; the socks, white clothes and Daddy Pig's soccer shirt is now pink; because this is what happens when you combine colors with whites. Now; this wouldn't be a problem if you wear white underwear since no one actually sees it, but it causes problems when people see the other clothes. It also makes people wonder if your relationship with your beloved is on the rocks. (No, not really former self. Peppa Pig didn't know and Mummy Pig was careless. George Pig is innocent of all charges here.) Mummy Pig declares that pink is not a good color for a football shirt. Memo to Mummy Pig: Arsenal -- a legit football team in the UK -- called and says you are full of crap! Juventus had their away goalkeeper shirts in pink as well. Ditto Libson and Celtic. (Germany's away team colors are purple and pink combined.) Buzz off, Mummy Pig! In comes Daddy Pig with his briefcase as we meet and greet in the kitchen. (Logic break: The clock is still at five pm and in one close up, the hands have disappeared as if time stopped. SUZY SHEEP?!) Peppa and Mummy Pig show off the pink shirt as Daddy Pig giggles it off because it's pink and not white. If Daddy Pig is the goalkeeper; they why not pink?! At least four legit football clubs in Europe use that scheme! I don't recall dresses being shirts and having the number five from Mummy Pig's clothing rack?! Yeah; it's your shirt, you dumb anthromorphic pig! (Even at their dumbest, Daddy Pig still has to be dumber. That is the story of this show in a nutshell.)

Peppa explains that it got muddy -- doesn't blame Mummy Pig for it, despite being the only pig large enough to splatter mud that far --, they tried to wash it -- doesn't explain that Peppa put her muddy dress into the machine --, it went a bit wrong -- understatement of the episode --and they apologize. Daddy Pig proclaims that he cannot wear this shirt and Peppa Pig asks why not since pink is a lovely color. Heck; it's the away goalkeeper's color for four real life soccer teams in Europe! At least! Daddy Pig asks for George's blessing -- as if he knows any soccer -- and hates the color of the shirt! Grow up, George! Pink is not a yucky color, get over it! (TESTIFY~! Cubbi Gummi would call his ass on that one. Never mind that Cubbi has pink skin and so does George. Total lack of self-awareness this family has!) The door bell rings and we see Mr. Bull, Mr. Rabbit, Daddy Pony and Mr. Zebra in their white soccer clothes as Mr. Bull has the soccer ball. Mr. Zebra is #1 and Mr. Bull is #4. I guess this is rank in who has the smallest belly of the group. Mummy Pig answers the door and tells them to wait as Daddy is coming out soon. Daddy Pig needs a white shirt; so Peppa suggests using his white office shirt and take off the green suit shirt. Of course! Daddy Pig takes off his green suit shirt; but not his green tie like an idiot. Oh; and he didn't mark a "5" on his shirt and just walks out and all the male adults act like there is nothing out of the ordinary, even though he's wearing a green tie. They don't care as they call him smart and all the male adult run down the hill as there is a soccer field set up complete with muddy puddles. DING! The blue team has Mr. Labodour (In his debut appearance I do believe.), Mr. Rhino (In his debut appearance I do believe), Doctor Elephant and Daddy Cat (In his third appearance I do believe.). Daddy Pig scores a goal and everyone is muddy. Peppa Pig cuts them off because they are all muddy as Daddy Pig says it all. The narrator proclaims that everyone loves soccer, especially when it's play in muddy puddles. Everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Rigid gender role colors aside, this was fine, although the finish should be that Daddy Pig wears the pink shirt, is the goalkeeper who makes awesome saves and kicks a goal into the other net for the win. ** 1/2 (50%). (Of course that didn't happen because Daddy Pig is as dumb as the writers are here.)

Polly's Boat Trip: We end this session with episode #116 on the animation paper and the episode opens on the river with Grandma Pig coming out of the yellow car; while Grandpa Pig is putting a lifejacket on Peppa on the sailing ship. George already has one as well as the pirate's hat on. Peppa and George are jumping up and down for no reason; and in a shock, Polly doesn't repeat them. (Once again, the adults do not wear lifejackets.) Polly only jumps once as Grandma Pig is issuing orders on the mobile phone. Grandpa Pig sounds awfully condescending to her before pulling the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and driving the ship away eastward. Jump cut to Granddad Dog literally mopping the deck with the SHANE DOUGLAS MOP OF DOOM for fun as Grandpa Pig's boat arrives for the meet and greet. Of course; Grandpa Pig just has to insult the boat for being so rusty and Granddad Dog claims that his boat will survive long before Grandpa's tin boat sinks to the bottom. They snort and woof at each other for a while. Why are they best friends, again?! Captain Grandpa Pig pulls the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and we sail away stage right as of course, since Grandpa is the captain of the ship, everyone must obey his command. (And this time, there is no Granny Pig to witfully retort him, so they must be serious GEEKS OF THE WEEK~!) Polly is the reminder of said commands as George raises the pirate mast sails; Peppa rings the bell and Polly does nothing but repeat. Peppa gets on top and asks if she can be the captain and Grandpa puts his hat on Peppa and makes her into the captain. What could probably go wrong?! (Nothing nearly as wrong as anything Bubsy has ever done, if you want to go for easy shots.) We ring the bell, turn the wheel and jump up and down for a while; before Grandpa Pig gets his hat back, because Peppa is a bit bossy. At least Peppa manages to not screw this up; which is an improvement over her normal troll behaviour, I guess. The boat goes through the long weeds; but the boat is then marooned onto a small sandy island. Grandpa Pig is dumb and steering is not that tricky. Grandpa Pig pushes the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!); but no go. No problem; Grandpa Pig rings in Grandma Pig from the mobile phone; but Polly screams in Grandpa Pig's ear and he drops the mobile phone into the water. At least we can blame Polly Parrot for that one.

However; since the mobile phone is tougher than a Nintendo product, it still works as we head back to the white house on the hill. Jump cut to the sitting room as the green phone is ringing. Grandma Pig comes in and answers the phone. No response; but somehow despite being in twenty feet of water, the marooned boat of Grandpa Pig can still hear it. Peppa has a plan: Have Polly fly to Grandma Pig and yell for help on their behalf. This has to be a fool's errand. Grandpa Pig cannot stop talking to save his life and Polly is gleefully happy to repeat literally everything he said, including the intended message. Polly flies westward and makes it to the white house on the hill in a whiplashing jump cut. Apparently; the sitting room is on the second floor as Polly flies through the window as Grandma Pig is reading Ezza Magazine. Polly perches on the telephone and he manages to remember that Grandpa Pig said "You silly old bird" and Grandma Pig is gravely offended by this; before realizing that Grandpa Pig was yelling for help. Of course! We jump cut to Granddad Dog mopping the deck again as Grandma Pig drives in with her car to inform him that Grandpa Pig needs help; because Grandpa Pig is dumb. So, despite the insults; he agrees to and lets Grandma Pig on board to boot because he's clearly doing it for her and not because Grandpa Pig legit acts like a best friend. Of course! We head to the marooned boat and here comes Granddad Dog's boat. Granddad Dog asks if he needs rescuing and Grandpa Pig says maybe. Granddad Dog asks if his rusty old boat can save the tin boat. Grandpa Pig finally relents and all is forgiven as a white rope is tied to both ends of each boat. Granddad Dog pulls the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and the two boats sail away stage left without incident. Polly saves the day as Granddad Dog wants him to say "I'm a clever parrot". Sadly; Polly repeats it with two barks. The punchline to the joke is supposed to be "I'm a NOISY parrot! BARK! BARK!" Then everyone laughs to end the episode at 4:30 approx. A fun episode with a dumb ending that completely erases Polly debut in Series One. *** (60%). (Someone must have complained about the Series One episode debut of Polly The Parrot, because that ending wasn't offensive at all and was awesome! Get use to the writers either erasing or not remembering their own contunity. Some for good reasons, some for really bad reasons.)

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; we begin Series Three with mostly average to great episodes. Sadly; Washing and Richard Rabbit Comes To Play really didn't need to overplay the gender role card that much. (Heck, Richard Rabbit Comes To Play was awesome and was on pace to be a thumbs up until they brought out the gender card and forced it down to a solid thumbs in the middle.) Fun Run was great because Daddy Pig had to own up to his own ideas and it's always funny when the wasp is after him. Pedro's Cough was not good, but the reactions to the medicine were great. (That review sucked former self as you clearly have no idea what you were writing, nor know the awesome psychology of the children faking the cough to make Doctor Brown Bear look like the quack doctor that he was. Doctor Polar Bear is a blessing in hindsight.) Also; a picnic with no ducks in it also helps. (If only Duck Land was exactly like Fun Run...) Compost was also great because of Peppa's really so bad it's funny singing and her pronouncation of Compost is glorious. The finish to Camping Holiday was also a hoot and the rest was fun enough. I have nothing more to say, so...

Thumbs up for Compost, Fun Run and Pedro's Cough and thumbs in the middle for everything else and I'll see you all next time.

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