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Twenty Years Of Muddy Puddles: Peppa Pig Series Three #2 Rant

Reviewed: 04/09/2018
Additional Commentary/Edited: 07/28/2024

Daddy Pig Meets Peppa & The Ultimate Troll Move!


Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Okay; so we head back to Series Three as we start the next eight episodes of the Harley Bird era as the gloves are finally off of this show as it turns from just a normal pre-school show into a legendary pre-school show. How do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.


Delphine Donkey: Next up is episode #117 on the animation paper and the episode opens on the house on the hill as Frere Jacques is playing in the background. We head in the lobby where the phone is as Delphine Donkey's picture is pined on the BBS in the background. (2024 Gregory Weagle: Yup, they were teasing her return from the start of Series Three, and she's about to return today.) The phone on the desk is ringing. Daddy Pig answers the phone and it's Mr. Donkey speaking in French as usual. "Hello Daddy Pig, how are you?" is what he said when translated from French to English. Sadly; I'm not good in translating the rest and Daddy Pig thinks the phone is speaking nonsense. Sadly; there is no subtitled version of this episode; so I'm stumped. Mummy Pig takes over and says "yes" and "goodbye" in French to end the conversation before everyone looks stupid, especially me. Mummy Pig explains that Delphine Donkey is coming to visit them because she needs help with her English since she is expected to be a full time member of the Peppa Pig roaster. (Ah, former self panicked when it shouldn't have.) Mummy Pig declares that they must hurry to get to the train station as we jump cut to a tunnel as the train is coming out and heading westward. No surprise, Miss Rabbit is the train conductor of this mission. Okay; it's ALL CHANGE~! My mistake. Out comes Delphine with Papa Donkey at the train station as the Pig family is already there to meet and greet them. Delphine has the second biggest tickle trunk I have ever seen. They hug; but when they kiss, they miss their cheeks. Peppa and Daddy Pig cannot pronounce "Bonjour" to save their lives as Papa Donkey drops the tickle trunk onto the concrete as he tosses it on top of the red car; and the red car almost dies on cue. Worse; all those little things in the tickle trunk is exactly what the Pig Family has at home. Papa Donkey is as dumb as Daddy Pig; only he doesn't realize it. We drive home as Papa Donkey is returning tomorrow night to pick up Delphine. I guess Mummy Pig is the teacher. Everyone gets out and Daddy Pig has to carry the luggage, because he's dumb. Worse, he has to carry it up the stairs to Peppa's room, the highest floor of the house. Peppa Pig is a troll. The kids go upstairs as Daddy Pig walks upstairs and puts the trunk down in the bedroom.

Delphine shows that she can troll with the best of them because she only packed a little tickle trunk. (This is the same excuse Peppa would use when she made her model castle in Series Five.) Even more amazing; she speaks English pretty well for someone whose English is a second language. Even I can have problems speaking English; and it's my FIRST language. She's modest and even Daddy Pig notices this. (When Peppa says "yes", Delphine gives her the stink eye in a shot which indicates that this family is beneath her. This episode would be a lot more effective if Delphine really had problems pronouncing English words, but I got no sense of that in this episode. Thus, I think she was here on the false pretense of learning English just to either school the Family on French, or just visit Peppa because she wants to.) Delphine wants to ask a question. I will not repeat it here; because I cannot do it justice, it was awesome and she made Daddy Pig look like the dumbest person in the room. I cackled and laughed at it. (She's Daddy Pig in French basically when Daddy Pig gets all sciency in Suzy Sheep's kitchen. Daddy Pig might as well have said it was magic and be done with it. It wouldn't be any more embarrassing than what Daddy Pig actually did here.) Oh; and it is now AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark), so Mummy Pig decides to end the session before Daddy Pig blushes to his death. (Yeah, we don't want him to become part of the Steamed Hams meme with The Simpsons. That might kill off this show's future, let alone heat.) It's night time and both Peppa and Delphine are sleeping in the same bed end to end. That bed must been very wide to support those two. (Infants do sleep this way before. Learned that from Forensic Files, as well.) Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig put out the lights as Mummy Pig says "sleep well" in French. Thank goodness the narrator reminded me of that. I should also note that Delphine Donkey is going to Playgroup tomorrow as well; so they were priming her for a regular run in the show at this point. (Which didn't happen. She did appear in more episodes, but wasn't getting any real push at any point.) They are not sleepy of course. Delphine hee haws and it's time to sing Frere Jacques. Now for a translation lesson:

Original version: Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques,
Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous?
Sonnez les matines! Sonnez les matines!
Ding, dang, dong. Ding, dang, dong.

English localization: Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping?
Brother John, Brother John,
Morning bells are ringing! Morning bells are ringing!
Ding, dang, dong. Ding, dang, dong.

This translation preserves the musicality but greatly distorts the meaning: the whole point is that the bells are not ringing, because brother John, who is supposed to ring them, is sleeping.[1] The song concerns a monk's duty to ring the bell for matines. Frère Jacques has apparently overslept, it is time to ring the bell for matines, and someone wakes him up with this song.[2] The reason this was localized the way it was, is because a direct translation would force the song to be off-key:

Direct English translation: Brother Jacques, Brother Jacques,
Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping?
Ring [the bells for] the matins! Ring [the bells for] the matins!
Ding, dang, dong. Ding, dang, dong.''

Finall, if you want the translation to be accurate then it should go:

Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping?
Brother Jacques, Brother Jacques
Ring the bells for morning! Ring the bells for morning!
Ding, dang, dong. Ding, dang, dong.

This maintains the musical intergrity of the song while eliminiating the mis-translation altogether. "The Matins" would be localized as morning, since that is what the original French word was shooting for. John is simply a localized name for Jacques. (I left the name as is in the final localization since I don't see anything wrong with using French names in an English song. Besides, without France; there would be no USA and all of you would be speaking Canadian English, which is in itself is a nightmare.) Everyone goes to sleep. Speaking of bells; the bell rings at the school house on the hill. All the cars arrive as all the kids (minus George and Richard) and sit down. Peppa introduces Delphine to Madam Gazelle as she explains that Delphine taught her a French song; and now it's time for her to experience an English song. Danny Dog proclaims that this is the time for the Bing Bong Song. I realize that the pay off is to sing the English version of Frere Jacques and then Delphine points out that song makes no sense; but I love the "Bing Bong Song" and so does Delphine. This is perfectly fine. Madame Gazelle brings out the guitar and was sing the Bing Bong Song complete with karaoke lyrics. (Yes! This episode marks the debut of the writers encouraging the kids to sing according to the lyrics!) Then Delphine recaps the English words and it is also in karaoke. Everyone laughs as Gazelle continues the song beyond the credits to end the episode at 4:30 approx. A really fun episode and probably the longest written rant I have done in a long time, actually. **** (80%).

The Fire Engine: This is episode #118 on the animation paper as the episode opens on the house on the hill with the red car pointing down the hill now. Zoom into the sitting room with Peppa reading a book, George reading the comics, Daddy Pig reading the newspaper, Alfred Khan having a heart attack and Mummy Pig standing up dressed as a fire fighter. (Sadly, Peppa is not reading Ezza magazine. I've already explained about Al Khan and his irrational rant about kids, reading, erasing words on signs and his handling of 4Kids Entertainment's entertainment in general. You can read my rant of it on A Bad Reflection On You rant in TaleSpin.) Daddy Pig is dressed up like he's about to go to a soccer game shortly. Mummy Pig explains that she's going to the "Mummies Fire Fighting Practice" event, which Daddy Pig blows off as an excuse to have tea and chat. (Turns out, Daddy Pig was right.) Mummy Pig decides to ask him what is he doing and Daddy Pig proclaims that he is going to the "Daddies Football Team" BBQ. Which Mummy Pig blows off as kicking a soccer ball around. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. (By the way, Daddy Pig is more honest than Mummy Pig here since...) Oh, and they are having a BBQ as the doorbell rings. We see outside, Mr. Bull (with BBQ grill), Mr. Rabbit (with BBQ coals bag), Mr. Pony (with spatula) and Mr. Zebra (with bottles of drinks, hopefully no alcohol because that would be bad otherwise) in their soccer outfits. The Pig family come out for the meet and greet and then the male adults all run westward down the hill as Peppa wants to see a fire engine. (I'm guessing Peppa sees the fire engine as new and exciting and she's already seen soccer, so it's less exciting. A fair and reasonable response.) Mummy Pig agrees to it and Mummy Pig, Peppa and George hop into the back of the car and they drive down the hill. Jump cut to the fire station; which looks like a fire station with an airplane hanger and tower combined. Out comes Miss Rabbit -- the owner of the fire station -- as the car parks on the steepest side of the hill. (Miss Rabbit Job #109, although this is clearly volunteering and she has backup as we'll see later. This job is perfectly acceptable.)

Everyone gets out as Miss Rabbit and company head inside to see the fire engine. It's your typical fire engine with a hand bell for Miss Rabbit to ring. We head upside in the tower with Mummy Pony, Mummy Sheep and Mummy Dog having tea. Yes; Daddy Pig was right all along. (BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! See, Daddy Pig was the honest one of the family. Even if he's the dumbest one of the family.) Mummy Pig likes this as Peppa notices a red phone on a desk. Peppa is curious and answers the phone; but Miss Rabbit tells her to sod off because it can only be used if there is a fire. Then the phone rings and Miss Rabbit is literally screaming fire in a crowded tower and no one is panicking. The adults are frowning -- because this is BS -- while the kids are confused. (They have that look of "those censors are going to be on our asses for that". A pre-school show is suppose to confront kids not make them panic. We have lots of other shows that do that job nicely.) Miss Rabbit finally answers the phone in a panic and it's Daddy Pig wanting to speak with Mummy Pig. Mummy Pig answers the phone and she is blushing and sounds pissed since that phone is only for emergencies. Daddy Pig claims that this is an emergency, because he cannot find the bottle of tomato ketchup.What a naughty Daddy Pig?! Mr. Rabbit asks if he can start the BBQ, Daddy Pig says yes, Mummy Pig tells him not to screw this up and Daddy Pig claims that males are experts at BBQ'ing. Yeah; I'll bet. (And then watch them prove former self right and make critics prove their point about males being stupid all the time on this show.) When Daddy Pig hangs up the phone; the males have no idea what they are doing. By the way; in Britian, matches are called "fire lighters". (Which is a better name than matches I should note.) Jump cut back to Miss Rabbit drinking tea as smoke is in the background. I assume that is where the BBQ is. Peppa, Mummy Pig and Miss Rabbit exchange notes as we discover that this area is so careful that Miss Rabbit has never had any experience in putting a fire out because there has never been a fire in this area. (Hey, this is one place I would love to live in. It's so "peaceful" and it doesn't sounds like a definition of death for once. Maybe peace doesn't have to mean death. Maybe.) Then the phone rings again; and it glows red by the way.

Peppa notices this and Miss Rabbit allows her to answer the phone because it's Daddy Pig again. Peppa Pig answers it and it is Daddy Pig being very naughty as Peppa rightfully blows him off for being so. Daddy Pig wants to talk to Miss Rabbit as Miss Rabbit grabs the phone and tries to scold him; but then Daddy Pig screams fire because the BBQ is on fire. Now the problem with this is: Most BBQ grills underneath the racks are supposed to be on fire! If the fire was spreading onto the grass; this would be a big problem; but this fire is entirely contained with the grill, which is normal. This just makes the males look stupid and cowardly. (Yup, except that while the fire is contained within the grill, the flames should not be shooting up this high all the time. It looks like a bonfire, so I can see why Daddy Pig called in and calling it in early is a good idea since the last thing you want is the fire to spread beyond the grill! They are not cowardly. They might have been dumb enough to put it in this situation, but they are not cowards. This was the right thing to do.) Miss Rabbit runs in a panic as the rest chant in unison "Mommies to the rescue"! They all go down the firepole; with Mummy Pig helping the kids down. We get into the fire engine and we race towards the destination: A BBQ grill allegedly on fire. Peppa is ringing the bell like the cheeky troll that she in and she sounds like she's having the time of her life. (Mummy Pig's blank stare at her was priceless. Peppa is treating this like a joke when it isn't.) Cameos: Candy Cat, Daddy Cat, Mrs. Cow (Who will join this firefighter group in later seasons.), Doctor Elephant, Emily Elephant and Doctor Brown Bear in his dark blue car while the sirens ring. This needs to be a ringtone. Jump cut to the male adults looking at the BBQ on fire and there is no sign that this fire is out of control. Here comes the fire engine, everyone pops as the daddies wisely bail. Mummy Dog turns on the water while Miss Rabbit coordinates, and Mummy Pig with Mummy Sheep douse the BBQ with so much water that it flooded the garden; but the BBQ fire is out. Daddy Pig has the stupidest chef's hat on as he thanks Mummy Pig for filling the grill to the brim with water. Oh; and there are muddy puddles around. If you cannot guess the final spot right now...you guessed it. DING! Peppa and George have their boots on off-screen as everyone jumps up and down in muddy puddles with glee. Earthquakes are created, backsplash laugh is done, end episode at 4:30 approx. This was a great episode; BBQ grill antics aside. **** (80%).

Princess Peppa: We continue Series Three with episode #119 on the animation paper. (This was the main event episode on the Princess Peppa DVD set I reviewed some time ago.) The episode opens on the house on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as we zoom in to the house and then one of the windows on the top right goes dark. We head in the bedroom with Peppa & George snoring in their bunk beds. Mummy Pig whisper yells goodnight. (Oh swell, she's saying "my little piggies" now.) Cut to outside with Grandpa and Grandma Pig parking their yellow car on the steepest side of the hill...AGAIN! Grandpa is wearing a sailor cap and blue coat as he rings the doorbell and out comes Daddy and Mummy Pig for the meet and greet. Grandma Pig wants to see Peppa & George; and Mummy Pig says yes, but be quiet about it. Grandma Pig walks slowly up the stairs and this only serves to make the creaking when she gets into the bedroom and it's dark, which assures that she steps on the rubber duckie and that wakes Peppa up. Oh come on, now! This was completely a setup by Peppa since the rubber duckie was not there when Mummy Pig said goodnight to the kids. (BINGO! Peppa is a troll. George's blank stare when he wakes up confirms the setup as well.) I should note that George is still calling her "Ganny Ig" at this point. Peppa wants a story and she will sleep after it. Grandma Pig sits down on an out of nowhere blue chair and the creators wonder why people think this is a cheap, lazy effort?! Granny Pig tries to start the story; but Peppa cuts her off and begins the story. Now THAT was rude and mean of her to do. We begin the story in a field with Pedro Pony in a yodeling outfit walking west. Of all the princes she could have picked; she picked the village idiot. (Oh come on now, former self! That was insulting and mean to the clueless. Especially after you called Peppa mean. Hypocrisy much there?!) Pedro Pony finds a golden magical bean and plants it to create a beanstalk in which Grandma Pig continues the story and then gets cut off again; because she wants a princess instead of a giant. Okay; I am perfectly fine with this. (Yeah, because it would have to be Daddy Pig and I think BS&P told the creators to knock it off when it comes to body shaming at this point.)

The beanstalk is literally the foundation for the golden castle, so the golden castle was inside the bean, which means Princess Peppa was literally inside the bean. That is distressing. We head inside the castle with Peppa dressed with a crown with a seven link golden chain necklace. Apparently; George is in the story cast as the most absurd looking grey knight ever on a white horse car. Yes; even dreams are BS&P'ed in a pre-school show. Grandma Pig is the only one in this story that is reasonably accurate as she brings in the chocolate cake, without chocolate frosting on top it seems. Peppa giggles as we head downstairs in the dining room where the other adults are sitting. I should note that the lights have purple shades on them and I wonder if they are distracting this family since the adult are appearing to look up at them. (It's also 7:30 pm on the clock at this point, so the whole thing has taken thirty minutes in Peppa Pig time.) Grandpa Pig goes up to see what is going on and he blows off Grandma Pig for waking the kids up when he busts them in the bedroom. Grandma Pig was set up via the teleporting rubber duckie; if you ask me. (No lies detected.) Peppa reminds Grandma Pig of her promise; but Grandpa Pig wants to end this and tags himself in while Grandma Pig walks out of the room. We continue the story as Pedro Pony has climbed the beanstalk off-screen and everyone in the story is at the table as the lovely dinner is nothing more than all the desserts in the world. The desserts made them go to sleep according to Grandpa Pig and that's the end. Then Peppa cuts him off and they wake up because she is commanding this story; which makes my evidence that she planted the rubber duckie on Grandma Pig on purpose. Oh; and Grandpa is the wizard and apparently has stolen the Wizard of WeeGee's outfit. Grandpa Wizard is doing magic tricks as Grandpa Pig is trying to end the story; but Peppa keeps cutting him off. Apparently, a dragon is found and we have running, chasing and scaring ensuing as the ceiling is shaking. (This takes another thirty minutes in Peppa Pig time I should note.) Daddy Pig decides that this story needs to end at some point; so he'll do it since he's an expert on storytelling.

Daddy Pig comes in and tags himself in, claiming that he'll be done in one minute. Well; he does have 90 seconds left in the episode, so let's go! Daddy Pig plays the king of this story and he's rubbing his big tummy as everyone is having a picnic and they lived happily ever after. END! Not. (This takes another thirty minutes in Peppa time.) Peppa brings out her music box and it's time to PART-IE as the carriage comes in with George and his toy horse, Peppa and Suzy Sheep in the carriage along with subjects Rebecca Rabbit, Emily Elephant, Zoe Zebra and Danny Dog; which was the one I thought would be in this story taking Pedro's place. We head inside the castle, we dance to their doom as Candy Cat has been written in by teleport! This show's logic is so funky that I want to dance like a fat...Oh forget it; this episode is running long as it is. The kids are dancing, with Daddy Pig holding the music box. Mummy Pig has had enough and walks upstairs and busts Daddy Pig; making him be in complete denial and he's blushing, so this is an epic fail. George and Peppa don't care because they love to dance! Mummy Pig pushes stop on the music box and basically tags herself in, and effectively soo Daddy Pig out of the room. Mummy Pig asks about the story thus far and Peppa retells the tale in it's entirety as we head outside with the rest of the adults at the stairs and they hear snoring. They think Mummy Pig has won and creep upstairs to find that Mummy Pig is asleep as Peppa is finishing the story up to this point. (Another thirty minutes pass and it's 9 PM. This dinner is cancelled basically.) Peppa's story was so boring that it put her mother to sleep. Everyone comes in as they proclaim that Peppa is the best of telling bedtime stories and they giggle to end the episode at 4:30 approx. The episode was sloppy in places, but it was fine for the most part. ** 1/2 (50%).

Teddy Playgroup: Next up is episode #120 on the animation paper as all the cars come at to the school house on the hill as all the kids come out. Daddy Pig jumps out of his car, out comes Peppa with a Teddy that is a darker brown and appears to be well dressed. Peppa explains that it's Teddy Playgroup as Daddy Pig is confused. In comes Madame Gazelle to explain that this Teddy is the school's mascot; which is funny considering that this would be the only time I have ever seen it. (I have seen this version a few times in the early seasons, but this is the first time used as a plot device.) Peppa is supposed to take care of it; this is a bad idea. Oh; and Madame Gazelle has luggage for the bear which includes pjs, a photo album and a toothbrush. By the way; Teddy Playgroup is his real name. And you thought Teddy Ruxpin was a joke of a name?! (At least neither of them are that homophobe Teddy TaleSpin/Scarcutta!) We head to the house on the hill through the back door as the car parks on the steepest side of the western hill...AGAIN! Peppa and Daddy enter the house to the kitchen as we see George is having lemonade at the kitchen table with Mummy Pig. We show off Teddy Playgroup as Mummy Pig is more interested in the photo album showing off pictures of Suzy Sheep in London, Zoe Zebra in Paris, Danny Dog in Egypt among others, so this Teddy Playgroup gets a lot of flier miles. Peppa hopes she can continue the legacy. I have zero confidence in this as we head outside AFTER HAPPY HOUR. Peppa goes up to her bed of playmates and introduces Teddy Playgroup to everyone, including her ragged Teddy. (Teddy be like: Run Teddy Playgroup, before you become Peppa's food!) Peppa then swipes everyone off the bed to make room, like a troll would. Then Teddy Playgroup meets Mr. Dinesaur for a while as Daddy Pig decides to take a picture of the moment. (I was hoping Peppa would say "me" because that would be on brand with Peppa and her trolling antics. It didn't happen, sadly.) Then we get a funny moment: Peppa wants Teddy to have an exciting time; so let's go to the North Pole. Daddy suggest the supermarket and Peppa accepts that without incident. Peppa claims that she doesn't think Teddy has ever go shopping. Considering the other photos in the photo album, I would say she's trolling it now. (Or those pictures of the other kids are as the kids would say today, "sus" if you will.) We head to the supermarket as we head inside with Daddy driving the trolly with George sitting in it. Peppa is carrying TPG and showing off the fruits. I was expecting the Bananas in Pajamas to show up; but no dice. We head to the check out counter with Miss Rabbit reading Ezza Magazine like every woman does on this show. (Suggestion for Series Eight: Have a man read Ezza Magazine. I'm just saying, show.)

George is off the trolly and has the camera, and starts taking pictures like crazy. This actually plays into the finish; so Daddy Pig loads up the food onto the checkout counter and Miss Rabbit checks out the food. The flash stuns everyone as in the background; somehow Teddy Playgroup gets on the counter and Miss Rabbit checks it and puts it in the bag. I see this supermarket uses green bags as we head on the boring road with George, Peppa and Daddy Pig as Peppa realizes that TPG is missing and it's all Daddy Pig's fault! Because it's never the kids' fault for doing something stupid. In this case; it's George's fault. (Nope, it was Daddy Pig putting Teddy on the checkout counter during the photo shoot. Peppa couldn't reach the counter on her own. This is all on Daddy Pig.) Daddy tells her not to worry as we head home and place the food bags on the kitchen table as Peppa is on Daddy's case for losing TPG as Mummy Pig is worried. Ah; but Daddy Pig has a Krackpotkin plan: He'll use the pictures to create fliers for Missing Persons. We get a long sequence upstairs into Mummy's office as Daddy Pig puts the camera into the camera scanner and then prints out pictures they took at the supermarket. Jump cut to Mummy Pig unpacking the food as she asks where they are going. Daddy and the kids run out of the house, because they are going to stick pictures on the tree. I don't know if I'm jealous of the trees, or feel bad for them being used as billboard. (Oh, just wait until Officer Grey Squirrel shows that she never met an inanimate object she didn't like to ticket!) They tape the pictures to the trees as apparently; one of the pictures was done in the morning before they went to the supermarket and that scene was cut for time constraints. Peppa checks the supermarket picture and then discovers where he might be as the family goes back into the kitchen and Mummy Pig simply finds TPG in the bags, wasting perfectly good paper and making the trees sad both ways. Everyone laughs as we head to Playgroup with the bell ringing. It's time for show & tell as Peppa recaps the entire story as Daddy Pig lost him in the super market which all the kids gasp in horror. Good thing Daddy Pig isn't here; or he would be a blushing groom. Gazelle is impressed as Peppa cosplays TPG speaking and everyone except Peppa and TGP do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Well; at least this was George's fault (No it was not, former self. It was all on Daddy Pig.) for losing TPG (No, not really.) instead of Peppa being careless like it always is. Really fun episode. *** 3/4 (75%).

Danny's Pirate Party: Here is episode #121 on the animation paper as we head to the pirate house on the hill complete with pirate flag, pirate motif balloons and Danny Dog dressed up like a pirate; since it's Danny Dog's birthday. (Danny Dog becomes the first Series One debuting kid to have a birthday outside of the Pig family since Zoe Zebra was a kid who debuted in Series Two! Believe it or not, Pedro's birthday doesn't come until Series Seven and Suzy Sheep's doesn't happen until Peppa Pig Tales!) All the parents drive up and all park on the steepest sides of the hill...AGAIN! The kids run out, dressed up like pirates. Apparently; they all dress up like WildCat when he was a pirate in Captains Outrageous. George just has a pirate hat on, like Danny Dog; but sadly didn't dress up like Kit Cloudkicker in Captains Outrageous. Neither does Danny Dog nor does Pedro Pony as he dresses up like Clementine from Citizen Khan. I see Pedro Pony has the same issue Chip had in Double'O'Chipmunks: Watching too many westerns and thinking they can be applied to spy movies. No one cares anyway as Pedro Pony is dumb. (This will not be the last time Pedro Pony dresses up in the wrong outfit for the theme.) Granddad Dog has giant gold rings on his ears and looks closer to Kit's pirate costume, but still leagues away. Granddad Dog is now Dogbeard and he has at least four giant white feathers in his hat to make sure no one messes with him during this party. Suzy has no idea what Granddad Dog is talking about, which is funny because I can understand what Don Karnage says most of the time, and I can barely make out what Granddad Dog was saying in pirate speak. Arrrrr; time to play me pirate games. They are in Danny Dog's sitting room in case no one noticed nor cared. Pedro asks if this will be a dangerous game; and Mummy Dog says it's very safe. Well; that's a relief, it means Pedro is not going to be a part of this game and no one likes it. HEE HEE! (These kids were expecting this episode to be a shoot, but Mummy Dog shot that shoot down. Why did you give this episode only *** 1/2 former self?!) Granddad Dog claims that it will be exciting and Peppa winks as everyone approves of this. There is a stand with poster paper as we see paper of the golden CHEST OF DEMONS as Dogbeard's treasure was stolen by Captain Hog. I wonder who will be Captain Hog in this setup. Hmmm...Suzy still doesn't get it as the narrator calls pirate speak difficult to understand. Wait, why?! Oh; and it's Grandpa Pig who stole his treasure, that cheeky bastard! (Why are they best friends, again?!) We get a map of the tugboat and the orchard of Grandpa Pig where the treasure is and the rules of engagement are to get the gold without being seen. Of course; right in front of the kids no less. (Absolutely no shame whatsoever. I laughed and laughed and laughed some more. These adults are so shameless.) Granddad Dog is ringing up Grandpa Pig on his mobile phone. We jump cut to the orchard with Grandpa Pig sitting on a chair with Polly on top of his head as there are nets of gold strung on branches of apple trees. Everything is set as we jump cut back to the sitting room as Granddad Dog wants them to head to the Black Galeon; which even Peppa is confused at this. Run to the boat, you troll!

Everyone runs out of the house with each kid having a colored pirate motif balloon. Except for Pedro Pony, because he's a clueless cowboy who needs a culture change, if you know what I mean. Mummy Rabbit, Mummy Dog and Mummy Pig are helping put on the lifejackets on the kids at the river where the Black Galeon is located. As in; Granddad Dog's tugboat. George, I think tries to play coy during this sequence too since he bails before his lifejacket is even on. (Actually, all the kids are trolling the Mummies here in teasing putting on the jacket and then bailing. HAHA!) Jump cut to Grandpa Pig in the orchard complaining about Dogbeard being late as Grandma Pig comes in with a tray of tea and chocolate chip biscuits. (Cookies in North America.) Again; why are Granddad Dog and Grandpa Pig best friends again?! (You do realize that this is a work pirate thingie and not a shoot pirate thingie like Captains Outrageous was former self?!) Jump cut back to the river as literally everyone needs to go to the bathroom to do some business. HAHA! (Okay, this is the best birthday party ever in this show. Just trolling the hell out of Captain Hog unintentionally is the best trolling of them all.) Jump cut back to Grandpa Pig complaining about them being late again. Polly don't care at all; so him being a clever and noisy parrot are perfectly accurate in this case. He rings Granddad Dog in to complain and Granddad Dog, Mummy Dog (with balloons) and the kids are on the ship now and everything is ready. We sail the river blue as everyone sings the TEDDY RUXPIN PIRATE SONG OF DOOM to waste time. Somehow; Mummy Pig, Mummy Rabbit and now Mummy Sheep have arrived at the orchard via teleport. (SUZY SHEEP?!) Dogbeard whisper yells the plan and the three mummies all cheer loudly, and Peppa tells them to shut up. I don't care if they are parents; you don't blow a pirate's cover unless you are trying to catch one. All the kids hide in bushes surrounding the orchard. It's clear Captain Hog knows where they are and is pretending to not see them, since all the kids grab the net of coins from the branches. They are all chocolate coins with shield logos on them. The kid eats the coins; I don't understand why the narrator is whisper yelling, it's pointless. Oh; and guess who is caught by Captain Hog?! Captain Dogbeard, of course! This was done, so the so called best friends can blush and have a tug of war; while blowing each other off. Thankfully; Mummy Dog comes in with the chocolate cake of doom as she debriefs the two pirate captains. Danny Dog blows out the candles and declares this the best pirate party ever. Don Karnage: Hold...my...beer. (F'reeze A Jolly Good Fellow in The TaleSpin comics was the best by a mile, but this is the best one on television, so who can argue?!) Danny is four as everyone but Danny Dog and Mummy Dog do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx while the pirate song is sang in the end credits. This was a perfectly acceptable birthday party episode. (This was an awesome party and the best one of the lot so far at **** 1/2 (90%). The best episode of Series Three so far...Mr. Potato: Hold my potato salad...)

Mr. Potato Comes To Town: Moving right along, here is episode #122 on the animation paper as we open on the house on the hill with Mr. Zebra's post truck trumpets in the background. (Which are more fitting for this clown than Daddy Zebra I should note.) Zoom in towards the sitting room as Mummy Pig, George and Peppa do exercises while watching Mr. Potato on the television do the same. (Also, another cameo for the yet to be named Goldie The Goldfish.) Daddy Pig is sitting on the chair smiling and doing nothing...AND THE ROCK SAYS NOTHING. (He is doing something former self. Daddy Pig is watching the tele.) Oh goody! I actually remember this episode! This contains one of the greatest troll moves Peppa Pig has ever done in her career. (Probably because it's the follow up to an awesome spot in an otherwise horrible episode.) There are pictures of a sun, a blue car and a human girl in a purple dress. He then shows off pictures and throws away the pear drawing right away before showing an apple. Peppa and George are sitting down in awe of this as Mr. Potato's gimmick is that he is an health ranger in a potato costume. I'm shocked Mike Adams has not stolen this gimmick yet. Oh wait; potatoes are bad in his world. Never mind what I said. (This is for the best. The last thing we need is a huge spike in brain bleach after seeing Mike Adams in a potato suit from the folks at Respectful Insolance. Orac's circuits might need a cleaning as well.) Lots of trumpets playing as Mr. Potato is opening a new gym in town as Mummy Pig turns off the television. Peppa wants to go see him; but Mummy Pig isn't so sure about this. Daddy Pig gets up and shakes the room; so Peppa asks again and Mummy Pig says all right. We head to the new sports gym which apparently has a tennis motif to it. (Get use to seeing this, the sports center will become an important place in later seasons.) Almost everyone who was in Series Two is here, including Mrs. Cow , Doctor Hamster (In her official debut in this series. Oh swell, this doctor. Doctor Brown Bear at least was burned out and may got quack problems, Doctor Hamster might be one legit.), Delphine Donkey and her little brother Didier Donkey, along with what appears to be the official debut of Edmond Elephant. (Other cameos outside: Mr. Rhino's debut, Mummy Pony, Daddy Donkey, Daddy Cat, all the other kids, toddlers and four year olds, Mrs. Bear in her official debut...Auntie Pig, Uncle Pig, Cousin Chole are not outside.) There are balloons around as a horn honks and Suzy thinks it's Mr. Potato and everyone cheers....and then the Pig family shows up in their car and everyone groans. HAHA! (That was funny.) Everyone in the car gets out as we meet and greet. Danny Dog points out that Suzy was a total idiot as Peppa blows this off.

Danny Dog agrees because Peppa Pig is too big and even Peppa blows that off; which Danny Dog claims that Mr. Potato is smaller than Peppa. Spoiler alert: Peppa is correct about Mr. Potato. Suzy agrees with Danny as we hear the clown horns. Here comes Mr. Potato in the most uncomfrontable one person red car I have ever seen. (You don't say?!) Even Gyro Gearloose's MANILLA VANILLA UFO OF DOOM was more fitting than that thing. (At least that car Gyro built doesn't have the lock connected to the car engine like this red clown car! More on that in a later series episode.) Oh; and as I thought, Peppa was correct in determining that Mr. Potato is bigger than the kids, and even bigger than the adults to boot! (Yup, he's literally larger than life after all. Mr. Potato's gimmick is that he's an Hollywood actor and allegedly a superhero named Super Potato. More on that later.) He gets out of his car and cuts the ribbon while addressing the crowd. Everyone pops as the kids head inside with Mr. Potato and apparently, some of the adults were extras to demonstrate the exercise equipment because Miss Rabbit, Mrs. Zebra, Daddy Cat, Mummy Cat and Mummy Sheep. Worse; Mrs. Zebra was in the clapping shot before they went in with Mummy Sheep in barely in the second to last clapping shot. The continuity here is awful. (SUZY SHEEP?! We have a live one here! They were so close to a perfect rating and this sequence killed it.) Mr. Potato cuts his spiel and might as well say; "learn your teleportation skills". Peppa then adds, "potatoes" and Mr. Potato just realizes, he's screwed himself with that promo. (This is why I love this show: Everyone in this show talks like a human being and not a machine trying to "educate" you. In many ways, it's like TaleSpin, only a lot safer to watch and better at slice of life than TaleSpin in some ways.) Suzy is now wondering if Mr. Potato is a real potato or a reformed mutant potato, like the one in "Night Of The Living Spud". Of course, he's not a normal potato; because he has legs, a mustache, arms and a mouth. But potatos do have eyes. Pedro at least sounds reasonable with him being a super potato. (Oh, that gimmick! You'll see it soon enough and you'll be shocked to know that Super Potato in storyline is real. More on come on that front.) Peppa explains that they watch his show and he's very proud of it. He wants them to send their drawing to him and the kids all agree to. We head to the school house on the hill with the kids and Madame Gazelle as today's class is drawing pictures for the Mr. Potato Fitness Show~! Oh goody! (Here we go, the day Peppa gets her revenge on Daddy Pig. AGAIN!) All the kids draw pictures and color them. Okay, fine. Here are all the drawing in order of appearance:

[1.] Danny Dog: Pineapple. I didn't know pirates loved pineapple. (Danny probably puts pineapple on his pizza, that naughty pirate puppie!)
[2.] Rebecca Rabbit: A Carrot. Of course! (
Rebecca Rabbit didn't blush in a shock of shocks!)
[3.] Pedro Pony: A potato in a blue superhero outfit. Already the second best drawing of them all; but Pedro is still jobbing to Peppa's drawing. (
You don't say?! I don't doubt former self for a second!)
[4.] Emily Elephant: A pea by drawing a green dot. Simple, but effective.
[5.] George Pig: A tomato. Wow; I was expecting him to draw a dinosaur there. (
By the way, we never found out what Zoe Zebra drew despite being at the scene. Told ya she wasn't getting a push on this show!)

Then we get to Peppa Pig's drawing: I'm sorry; I'm crying again. I was sobbing with laughter when I first heard and seen this. Peppa Pig's drawing is: Daddy Pig sitting on his sofa, watching television. Implying that he sits at the television like a vegatable. (Clapback from "Daddy Pig Gets Fit" I might add in the only spot that was great in one of the worst episodes in the series.) Even better; Madame Gazelle calls it "excellent" and puts it in the parcel just like that! There was no confusion, there was no questioning, she just accepted the drawing carte blanche. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is the greatest troll move I have ever seen out of Peppa. (This is why Peppa saying "diet pills" would not be out of place on this show despite it clearly being part of a video nastie and not in the real episode.) Gazelle seals the envelope and it's being delivered to Mr. Potato. Morning arises as we head to the sitting room with the Pig family watching on. Peppa tells Daddy Pig that they posted pictures to him and Daddy Pig literally talks to the television and Peppa blows him off for that. Also funny. (Just to cement Daddy Pig's status as geek of the week!) Mr. Potato shows off the post and reveals the first picture, which is George's tomato. Daddy Pig sits down on his love seat enjoying this as he shows off Danny Dog's pineapple and then reveals Peppa's drawing and this one Mr. Potato gives 100% perfect marks for, because it's his most favorite. Peppa points out that this is her picture and Daddy Pig is dazed and confused; because he just got trolled in the greatest troll move in pre-school history. Pedro and George's pictures are on the wall; but not the Daddy Pig one, which should go on his wall. I guess he's going to have that blown up and used as wall paper. I hope that is the case; that would make the troll move even more funny. Everyone jumps up and down after Peppa and George get Daddy Pig off the loveseat and everyone except Goldie loves jumping up and down. (Hey, it's the move for puddle jumping! No wonder Daddy Pig is such a good sport after getting steam roasted by Peppa Pig!) This ends the episode at 4:30 approx. Okay; this is the best episode of Series Three ever. **** 3/4 (95%). (This is the second best episode of the series in the pre-Golden Boots era next to Swimming.) The song at the end credits was also brilliant, too. (This sounds like a song that should have been used before the debut of Mr. Potato in the potato flesh, but they couldn't find a way to slot it in so to speak.) The 1/4* deduction was for the logic break at the sport center.

The Train Ride: This is episode #123 on the animation paper as we head to the train station on the hill with Madame Gazelle, all the kids (including George and Richard) and Mr. Rabbit running the station counter. Yes; Miss Rabbit does not have a monopoly when it comes to multiple jobs. The kids are all jumping up and down except for Richard, who is merely giggling. Mr. Rabbit blows the whistle on this. He's the station manager as Madame Gazelle asks for ten children tickets and one teacher ticket. Let me guess: teacher get a discount. I'm so sad that this wasn't played into the story. Eleven tickets are processed and Gazelle give the children one ticket apiece and tells them not to lose those tickets. Mr. Rabbit comes out and wants them to show those tickets. Literally six seconds since getting the ticket, guess who loses their ticket? Come on, guess; it's too shocking! SURPRISE~! IT'S ANTONIO INOKI~! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...Yes, it's our resident brainfarting cowboy lover: Pedro Pony. Somehow, Gazelle has teleported to behind Pedro to scold him and then Zoe notices that it's on the ground out of nowhere. It's ticket #432 by the way. Which is the same ticket everyone has. (Pedro did this on purpose, there's no way Suzy Sheep would give Pedro the time of day to teleport his ticket in and out.) In comes the train and of course, it's Miss Rabbit being the conductor. (Job #170!) Oh, and in Britian; it's the train driver. Everyone gets in, including Mr. Rabbit with his whistle and red flag waving. The train heads down the track as this causes the kids to sing in kind. (Strangely, there is luggage above their heads in the nets; but no one was carrying the luggage when they entered the train. That was weird.) Inside the train; Gazelle gives the kids clipboards with an activity screens. Their job is to waste time pointing out objects they see during the train ride, just in case anyone has any idea of sleeping during this trip. (Pedro Pony, I'm looking at you!) There are only three objects to spot: A sailing ship, a signal box and a tunnel. Sorry clouds, trees and the cameoing Granddad Dog on his tugboat, you are not on the list of train activities. Ride the train, maaaaannnnnn! However; the tugboat is on the list, despite not being a sailing ship and is checked off in green pencil. Mr. Rabbit comes in and asks for ticket for the ticket check. Guess who lost his ticket...AGAIN! Yup; Series Three was the beginning of Pedro Pony being made to look like an idiot in every episode he's in. This is complete with blushing and I was hoping that he was sitting on it and it stuck onto his ass; but alas it wasn't the case. Oh wait; it appears out of nowhere for no reason on the seat. Crisis adverted, I guess. (That ticket is teleporting on it's own. SUZY SHEEP?!) We head up the hill and I'm shocked the kids were not chanting: "We can do it, we can do it" here. The train goes down the hill like we are seeing a roller coaster.

As this is going on: remember the school camping trip where Pedro sells an illiness and wanted to go to the front of the bus and sit with Madame Gazelle?! Well; he asks the same thing; except he walks to the front of the train where Miss Rabbit is. Miss Rabbit don't care and allows Pedro to ride the train and wears the conductor's cap as Pedro stops selling and drives the train. (Pedro Pony would make a good professional wrestler, because he sells the sickness well and knows how to fake it since he giggled when Madame Gazelle allowed him to go to the front of the train.) TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM ensues and then the train is forced to stop because they have found the signal box ordering them to stop. There is a road and a watch tower with Mr. Bull controlling the signal box and barrier. Then we get a really funny moment: The narrator claims that someone important is going to cross the train tracks. At first; I thought this would be the first appearance of The Queen or even Mr. Potato driving his car. (I clearly wrote this episode review out of order since Mr. Potato already appeared in the last episode.) Those would have been good choices; but instead, the one who crosses the tracks is...wait for it...Mrs. Duck. WHAT?! Yes, it's the ducks, even though there is no picnic in progress. (At least they didn't feed the ducks this time, crisis averted on that front!) The signal box gets checked off by the way as the barrier is down and the signal box turns green. The train keeps going as Emily notices that there is just the tunnel remaining and the whole scene goes pitch black with just whites in eyes, which is the signal that they have just gone through a tunnel. They check this off the list; and the train finally arrives at the station. WALL CHANGE~! (I corrected this and I have zero idea what it means. Google is no help either.) Everyone gets off as Peppa wonders how they are getting home, and Madame Gazelle points out that they are back at the original train station because this was a practice run track that goes in a circle. HAHA! Mr. Rabbit is asking for tickets; I don't know why since they are already at the...Oh wait; it's to make Pedro Pony look like an idiot again. (I hated this because the train ride is over and it was pointless to check the tickets again. They only did this just to bury Pedro further into the earth.) But wait; Miss Rabbit wants her hat back and Pedro takes it off, revealing the ticket is on his head. (Thankfully, he knew what to do with the ticket, even though it was pointless in the grand scheme of things. It's not like that ticket isn't a magical ticket or something.) Pedro Pony is a brainfarting cowboy lover. Everyone is a brainfarting cowboy lover. All the kids except for Pedro do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Get use to Pedro being an idiot, folks; it can only get more absurd from here. (I didn't like the finish as much as before due to the pointlessness of it all, so ** 3/4 (55%).)

Granny Pig's Chickens: Here is episode #124 on the animation paper as we head to the white house on the hill as the red car shows up. Out comes Mummy Pig, George and Peppa as the narrator tells us that the kids are sleeping over at the grandparents house. Oh; and the car is parked on the steep side of the hill...AGAIN! Grandma Pig comes out and George still is pronouncing Granny Pig as "Ganny Ig". I'm beginning to wonder if "Papa Ig" and "Ganny Ig" are their real names, and George knows it?! (Considering that some of these adults are going to have legit first names in later Series, this is a payoff that sounds like an interesting angle. We'll see where this goes.) We meet and greet as Mummy Pig gets back into the car, which has already been turned into the opposite direction and drives away. Everyone goes into the house and heads to where the kids are sleeping for the night; which is a one bed bedroom, where Mummy Pig use to sleep. (Complete with the record player and music from Granny & Grandpa Pig's Attic.Sadly, no awesome music in this episode today.) George and Peppa do some butt bouncing on the bed, which Grandma Pig claims that it is just like Mummy Pig. Somethings never change. She is also a cheeky hypocrite, since Peppa and George aren't allowed to bounce on the bed. Which those naughty little piggies have violated that rule at least three times in this show already! Peppa and George leave their toys on the bed and comes downstairs because they are heading outside to see Grandpa Pig. We meet and greet him and his veggie garden. Peppa and George are in awe over the carrots and peas; but they are shocked because all of Grandpa Pig's lettuces are gone and the area is full of chicken-equse footprints. Peppa accuses the brown birds on the conveniently placed tree for this. Peppa Pig asks why the birds are doing this "evil act". Grandpa Pig calls them "very stupid" (Like me calling Drake Mallard that word in my Darkwing Duck rants, only Grandpa Pig did it once.) for not falling for the really not scary at all scarecrow. (WARNING! WARNING! 2024 Gregory Weagle Trirade Of Doom Commencing....!)

(Okay, it's time for me to do a huge rant on this episode and another edition of "Bigotry On Display Via Speck Seeing While Log Ignoring": According to the Peppa Pig wika, in the USA this episode was banned because Grandpa Pig said the word "stupid". I have heard of this justification before with another show: Chip & Dale's Rescue Rangers and the episode "Battle Of The Bulge", which was banned by Toon Disney (reinstated in 2022 on Disney XD), because of some "forbidden" word. In that case, it was the word "battle" according to one of the most dellusional forums in DTVA history, the Acorn Cafe. The group I have mocked for being so shocked that someone swore to God and said the word kill despite other DTVA shows saying it a lot more than their favorite show do, especially TaleSpin. Then they wonder why Kit Cloudkicker is getting a push and Rescue Rangers is reduced to an godawful CGI/live action movie mess. Now to be fair: "Battle Of The Bulge" probably should have been renamed to "Battle Of The Fudge" or something along those lines since "Battle Of The Bulge" is a legit name for a World War II battle with the Nazis. Toon Disney could have cut out the first ten seconds of footage with no title card if they wanted to, and it would have stood out since the title card is usually routine. Now, why I think it exposes the bigotry of Acorn Cafe is that they were fixated on this word and never bother to focused on the episode as a whole? It turned out that Toon Disney didn't air the episode, not because of a word, but because the heels on this episode were Jamaican fruit bats in the show that talked in such a way that it was racist. I reviewed this episode at least a decade ago and that stood out in front of me. I'm not woke enough and even I noticed this! Now in Granny Pig's Chickens' case, it's even worse when you consider that if the episode is "banned" in the USA in 2013 for that word, then it should have been banned in Canada and Britian because the word "stupid" would have been spotted by the moral guardians in those regions much easier than the USA, since the UK is the show's home town! Heck, it wasn't even redubbed to change the word in any English region, unlike the seatbelt/lifejacket scenes which took a lot more effort to change than changing the word "stupid" to "foolish", for example. Listen, I wouldn't reccommend having characters say "stupid" on a pre-school show due to being misused as an ableist term; but this was the only instance of this. So, how could this episode be "banned" in the USA?! Well, guess what one of the chicken's names are? Let's find out the log that these bigots have ignored...)

In comes Grandma Pig demanding answers to this outrage. In comes three colored chickens who basically blow their cover. Grandpa calls them Tom, Dick and Harry. (Nope. Dick is not offensive except to sexual predators who project themselves onto others.) However; their real names are Jemima, Sarah and Vanessa. Jemima is the brown chicken, Vanessa is the white chicken and Sarah is the black chicken. (BINGO! Found the reason why the episode was "banned". Context: The chickens were named after the producers of this show and one of them is unfortunely named Jemima Williams. In the USA, Jemima is considered a racist name and the producers should have used "Williams" instead, if they wanted to do a self-insert. But the bigger context is how easy it was to think that it was one rude word, while at the same time ignore something that is racist. Former self did a great job exposing the problematic nature of this name in the rant, but didn't go into the rant that I did.) In comes the cock named Neville who crows loudly. No Red Arrows were involved in this, sadly. (This was written when Neville was in WWE, now in AEW as PAC and the move is called the Black Arrow. That sounds racist to me.) I should note that Dick and stupid are not usually in pre-school shows, because they are "rude". Even though rudeness is attitude, not words. (Fair point, former self.) I should also point out that Jemima is usually not a good name nowadays due to Aunt Jemima, which is a racist black stereotypical character used to advertise maple syrup. (Which thankfully has been removed from the product. Should have been done a long time ago, but whatever.) Oh; and Grandma Pig calls Neville a cockerel, or cock for short. Also another word usually not used in children's cartoons as they sub it with rooster. (Someone in the TaleSpin Volume One DVD didn't get the memo when they subtitle the episodes, I see.) Grandpa Pig accuses Nevile of vandalism and eating flies and lettuce, after Grandma Pig claims that Neville wouldn't hurt a fly. When Grandpa Pig is the realist; you know those MRA are nothing but vicious sexist sacks of poop.

Grandma Pig tells them they don't need to eat lettuce, because she has a box of corn seed for them to eat up. (Ah, Granny Pig admits that the rooster and the chickens are guilty as charged! Granny Pig is our geek of the week!) We lure the chickens and cock into the fenced area with the corn seed for a while. Peppa and George help in this chore, too. Apparently; the chicken coop is called a Wendy house. Wendy is the answer to Barbie in this show?! (Not really, Peppa called the chicken coop a Wendy House, which is a name for a doll house in Great Britian.) Peppa peeks in and doesn't see eggs; but Grandma Pig assures them that there will be soon. Scene change to the white house on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR as Peppa and George come in with their pjs and toys. Grandma Pig tucks them in for the night and tells them that Neville will inform them when it's morning and the chickens might lay their eggs. Grandma Pig leaves, and the kids sleep and snort. Scene change to morning at the white house on the hill as we head inside the bedroom where the kids are sleeping. Neville crows and the two kids instantly wake up. Scene change to outside as everyone runs out of the house towards the chicken coop. Grandma Pig has a basket on retainer, so she's expecting eggs. Head to the chicken coop with Peppa thanking Neville, who crows loudly. George does the cock-a-doodle-doo thing perfectly; leading me to believe that "Ganny Ig" and "Papa Ig" are their birth names now. (Huge, if true.) The chickens come out as Peppa peeks inside and sees four eggs, so one of those chickens laid two eggs. (Hopefully, it's not Jemima laying the egg, the last thing this episode needs is more racism fuel to the fire.) Grandma Pig grabs the eggs and puts them into the basket. Peppa thanks the chickens and we jump cut to Grandma Pig boiling the eggs on the stove in the kitchen. Jump cut to the kitchen table as everyone is there. Grandma Pig puts the eggs on egg cups; and everyone breaks the egg shells and eats the eggs. Peppa loves the eggs as Grandma Pig explains that it's due to corn seed. Grandpa Pig claims it's due to lettuce, everyone laughs to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This episode shows the cultural attitudes between Britian and in North America when it comes to certain words. ** 1/2 (50%). (Peppa Pig wikia needs a massive redo methinks! Daddy Pig wasn't needed in this episode either, so Peppa didn't have to mention him.)

Talent Day: We continue on with episode #125 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the school house on the hill as the bell is ringing; but children aren't singing...yet. (Good one former self. Apparently, home time is now closer to 3 PM than the usual 4 PM on the rainbow clock in the background.) We head into the school with the kids (minus Edmond (Clearly I wrote this one out of order since Edmound hasn't officially debuted at Playgroup at this point, although he made his first appearance a few episodes ago.), Richard and George) sitting down. Madame Gazelle informs the children that tomorrow is talent day. Peppa wants to know what that is. Gazelle explains that a talent is something they like and can do well. Madame Gazelle's talent is playing the guitar and apparently; she is also into rock music guitar playing, for no reason. (Suzy Sheep continues her hot streak as a troll by claiming that her talent is watching television like Daddy Pig does. Gazelle kindly blows this suggestion off by the way.) Everyone is in awe of this as the parents all come in because it's home time. The kids run away from the parents as Gazelle plays another tune off-key when we segueway to the house on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark). That was pretty sloppy. Jump cut to inside Peppa's bedroom as Peppa and George are tucked in for the night. Peppa doesn't want to sleep yet because she's pondering about that talent she wants to show off tomorrow. Daddy Pig claims she has lots of talents. Peppa comes down and skips rope, sings, dances and plays music. She's doing the twist of course. The adults clap as Daddy Pig tucks Peppa in for the night and tells her to choose tomorrow when her head is clear after a good night sleep. We head back to the school house on the hill as the bell rings again. Back inside as Danny Dog has drums and Pedro Pony is dressed up like Abe Lincoln. Only with no beard and is wearing glasses. Peppa has her three talents and claims that she was practicing them last night. I thought she was demonstrating them?! (By the way, note the one talent we know she's good at but doesn't demonstrate it last night? That gives away the finish in advance.) Suzy claims that she was practicing her television watching and Peppa blows it off as not being a talent; not realizing that Suzy was practicing her trolling skills. Oh wait; she wasn't trolling, and really thought television watching was a talent. Being a critic and writing reviews of what you watch on television is a talent. One that I have actually. (Are you good at it former self?! If you think you are good at it, I have to inform you that this is not what I read on the internet.) The first one to show off his talent is Danny Dog, which is basically the same talent Madame Gazelle has, only it's drums instead of guitar. Cheap; but effective. Danny wants to bang it louder. Madame Gazelle cuts him off and everyone claps, yee-haw.

Speaking of yee-haw; here's Pedro Pony trying to do magic tricks with a wand, a cape and a glass of water on a cloth wooden stand. Basically; he is going to make the water disappear and tells everyone to close their eyes. Don't close your...too late!! Pedro drinks the water off-screen and to think; this is actually the smartest thing Pedro has ever done on this show up to this point. (Hard disagree former self. Pedro made Peppa look like a geek in Eye Test and it was glorious.) Everyone claps and that is that. (GEEKS OF THE WEEK~! Pedro was holding the glass after this, giving away the magic trick and no one else notices but me.) Emily blows her trunk and comes in with a recorder, so three talents out of four are music related; making Pedro look original in comparsion. Ponder that one for a moment. To be fair; Emily does a great job of it and doesn't cheat like Pedro. (Emily was playing "Baa Baa Black Sheep". Not a good idea.) This deserves a slow clap at least. Rebecca Rabbit is next and she makes noise while standing on her tiptoes. That's four out of five talents that are music related. She does a good job of this talent and everyone claps. Next up is Candy Cat as this pretty much eliminates Peppa's skipping rope talent; so it's a good thing she has two more talents to back her up. (By the way, it's been thirty minutes in real time and Rebecca Rabbit's talent alone took fifteen minutes of said time.) Suzy still has none at this point. Oh wait; Zoe Zebra's talent is singing, my mistake. Candy Cat and Zoe do their talents and everyone claps; so, five out of seven are music related. Zoe sings the same song Peppa did earlier; but she really puts the noise in the star part. Peppa thinks she still has dancing left, but Suzy is called on stage. Suzy walks over and chooses dancing just to piss Peppa off. HAHA! Always great when the troll gets trolled. (Peppa sold this almost like Ric Flair sellling the claim that Bret Hart is better than him!) Suzy dances and it looks so awkward. Danny, Emily and Gazelle play music, the same song Peppa sang earlier in the episode; just to rub it into Peppa big time. (Gazelle is using a regular guitar and not the rock guitar from earlier in the episode. Not a logic break, just an observation.) Everyone pops except for Peppa. Madame Gazelle is happy about this; but Peppa is not. Gazelle points out that a talent can be anything; but watching television. Suzy rubs it into Peppa some more. Peppa ponders it over and realizes that there is always one talent that always gets her out of jams like this: Jumping up and down in muddy puddles. DING! Everyone runs out of the school house with their boots on and we jump up and down in muddy puddles. Pedro doing this in the Abe Lincoln-equse costume is MANY BUYS~! Everyone jumps up and down in muddy puddles -- including Madame Gazelle -- to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Just your average Peppa Pig love in. *** (60%).

A Trip To The Moon: Next up is episode #126 on the animation paper and we open the episode in the garden with Edmond and George wearing spacesuits holding rocket ships. (Yes folks, this is the official debut of Edmond Elephant on this show outside his first appearance in Mr. Potato Comes To Town! Just like that! Edmond is voiced by Jonny Butler from series 3–4 and Victor Wade since series 5. ) Peppa is holding a different color bouncy ball; which apparently is owned by Gedo. (Nah, the cheese reporter who was married to Mummy Sheep before the show existed and then got divorced.) Edmond's rocket ship even has a parachute as George pushes on the bouncy ball using the spaceship, as the bouncy ball is now the moon. (Oh, that's why they changed the color of the ball. Cheeky color stylist!) Peppa is offended by this and protests this outrage as the parachuting space ship lands right on her head. HAHA! (Edmond's cheekier than Richard watering Peppa's head like soil on a garden in Swimming.) Everyone laughs, including Daddy Pig who just walks in. Mummy Pig comes in as Peppa calls this space thingie, boring. She also calls this space thing, fiction; which is the irony of ironies if you have watched this show enough. Daddy Pig claims that space travel is real and rocket ship have gone to the moon. The museum is having a space exhibit today and Peppa asks if they are really going to the moon and Daddy Pig says no. Peppa is fine with this and I should point out that I reviewed this episode before "The Golden Boots" so; it's clear that these spots were designed to tease the payoff of Peppa and everyone literally walking on the moon. They also park on the steepest side of the hill...AGAIN! We head inside as Miss Rabbit is at the counter as always. (Job #201). It's five tickets this time as Peppa then gets confused because Miss Rabbit is hyperboling this moon show, and then Miss Rabbit has to tell her that it's pretend. (Cameos: Daddy Pony, Pedro Pony, Suzy Sheep, Mummy Sheep.) Which is only going to cause Peppa to act like a moon landing denier, which is a really bad idea. Peppa heads in with her family (and Edmond) as Mr. Rabbit is the tour guide for the demonstration. Why can't Miss Rabbit do this; since she can do any job?! (Don't encourage them former self, that just makes the gimmick even sadder in hindsight.) They head inside and get into carts on train tracks; designed with a space motif to it. Peppa is not impressed by this and Mr. Rabbit is eliminating all pretenses that this might be real. We get a count down and we blast off into the room of hanging planets and stars on strings. Daddy Pig notices that they are on Earth; because he's a bit of an expert on the Earth; but not the seven planets. Daddy Pig is only 1/8 smart. (Oooo, that was the mathmatics version of a sick burn on poor Daddy Pig.)

Edmond names them all off, because this was written after Pluto stopped being considered a planet and he is a clever clogs, complete with trumpet horn. (Yes, Edmond does pronounce Uranus as "Ur-anus". He also makes a mistake revealing Neptune before Uranus, but that is minor. He also debuts his catchphrase, which is basically what we call a "smart ass" in North America and a BS&P version of "clever dick". Yeah. It's obvious when the Queen shows up later on. ) Well, Peppa claims the models are made of cardboard, which will be recycled into cardboard used in Nintendo Labo, or so I heard. Hey; it's more believable than Daddy Pig claiming that the moon is made of cheese. Har har. Mr. Rabbit is so offended by this that there is no more giggling nor jokes about space. (Believe it or not, there is an upcoming character who has been on the moon legit, eats cheese and is an extremely close relative of the Rabbit family. I wonder who that character could be?! More to come...) Mr. Rabbit's first name is Grumpy Rabbit, I see. (Why not?! There is a Grumpy Bear from Care Bears who is as ticklish as Kit Cloudkicker, or so I heard.) The mine cart ride stops and then we head inside the next room as the ground in the middle is a reasonable look at the real moon; but there is a lot more gravity. Peppa just blows it off. Everyone is in awe as Mr. Rabbit explains gravity and the comparsion of gravity between the Earth and the moon. Mr. Rabbit brings out the bouncy pully rubber bands rides which are to simulate the gravity of the moon and he accuses his customers of acting like this is a joke?! (Basically, it's reverse bungie jumping.) We bounce and the giggling rule has been violated as Miss Rabbit takes pictures, saying "moon cheese". Which is a violation of the jokes rule. Yes; they do the show picture spot to make sure to make the players look like absolute fools. Oh; and they all go into the shops as Peppa asks if there are cows, trees and shops on the moon and Mr. Rabbit says no. Miss Rabbit: Hold my carrot beer! By the way; I'm not talking about the "moon gift shop" they go into in this episode, either. We have "moon rock", which is basically this type of candy that I saw on an episode of How It's Made. It's a crescent moon smiling against a white background with a red trim around the edge. Oh; and they printed off the picture from a printer, because the camera is digital, so the picture spot was post-produced after the filming ended. Oh; and "moon cheese" cost five pounds, and it's for a very good cause. Well; it's for the museum because this government doesn't fund the museum enough, I guess. (Ah, that promo of chairty! Like "clever clogs", you'll be hearing this so many times, you'll be happy to see a wild Slapnuts appear on this show.) Peppa now loves the moon and Daddy Pig loves moon cheese. Everyone except Miss Rabbit does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Well; when "The Golden Boots" arrive, Mr. Rabbit is going to be so very wrong about that moon shop and he'll know who got the idea from. (This was more entertaining on the second viewing, so *** 1/2 (70%).)


THE REVIEW LINE

Well; ten more episodes are in the books; and we got four outstanding episodes in this one! (I love Danny's Pirate Party a lot more on the second viewing due to the psychological mind games the kids played on Grandpa Pig inspite of not doing it on purpose and Pedro Pony's debut of being a clueless brainfarting cowboy. Just wait until he starts stealing songs from Madame Gazelle, then you will all be sorry!) Mr. Potato's debut was glorious; mostly thanks to Peppa being the most cheekist troll ever. The Fire Engine would have been close to that if the BBQ fire was more out of control than it actually was and Delphine Donkey's regular debut was fantastic as she didn't need English lessons, she only needed to sing The Bing Bong Song. As I said before: Peppa needs French lessons a lot more than Delphine needs English lessons. Ditto Daddy Pig. Danny's Pirate Party was pretty good as well and Teddy Playgroup was impressive, although Daddy Pig is still dumb as usual. The rest were average to good; no clunkers in this one; although Granny Pig's Chickens was close to below average due to the overuse of rude words racist name of one of the chickens. (Change the name of Jemima and it's an easy ***.) Overall; this was a fabulous set of episodes; and there is more to come. So...

Thumbs up for Danny's Pirate Party, Mr. Potato Comes To Town, Delphine Donkey and The Fire Engine; thumbs in the middle for everything else and I'll see you all next time.

 

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