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Twenty Years Of Muddy Puddles: Peppa Pig Series Four #1 Rant

Reviewed: 04/28/2018
Additional Commentary/Edited: 08/09/2024

Pedro Pony: Baked Bean Singing, Ugly American Cowboy Music Thief!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Okay; so we head back to Series four and we start the next eleven episodes of the Harley Bird era as the gloves are finally off of this show and it turns from just a normal pre-school show into a legendary pre-school show. How do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies. Also of note: The episodes are directed by Phil Hall and Joris van Hulzen. Before this Joris worked on Fun With Gumby in 1994, The Fearless Four, Jolly Roger, The Big Knights and The Corpse Bride in 2005 before working on Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom from 2009 to 2013. He was on Peppa Pig until 2021. After that, it was Chip & Potato, The Amazing World Of Gumball, Summer Camp Island, Koala Man, Colourblocks, Work It Out Wombats and the upcoming The Night Before Christmas In Wonderland. That is all.

Opening Moment #1: The opening theme to Series Four actually has a slower pitch and sounds slightly different from the previous three series. Also, it's filmed slightly different when Mummy Pig arrives so that when Daddy Pig makes it's entrance, the credits containing "Created by Neville Astley & Mark Baker" could be shown. This only occurs for Series Four before they revert back to Series Three's introduction to start Series Five and continue until this very day with the except of the obvious voice change from Harley Bird to Ameile Bea Smith after Series Six's "Christmas At The Hospital" episode.

Potato City: We head back to episode #158 on the animation paper and this episode opens on the boring road with the Pig Family in Daddy Pig's red car. (2024 Gregory Weagle Says: Again, we have a tease of a new song, this time the "Always Remember To Eat Your Five!", which leads to a funny gag by Edmond "Smart Ass" Elephant that was only used once and never ever used again. I don't know why they aborted that gag, I thought it was hilarious!) Peppa asks about Potato City; which is a theme park ran by Mr. Potato and the theme is all about veggies; which is hilarious considering the potato is considered a starch food nowadays. Peppa calls this boring of course; because she's not a fan of veggies. Daddy Pig disagrees with this notion and honks his horn. The car horn; not his own. Daddy Pig finally stops at....a field of potatoes with a male badger furry with a dark green coat, a purple scarf and a green beret digging with a shovel for potatoes which is overflowing his wheel barrow. (This is actually Mr. Badger who is not a raccoon, and he's a farmer by trade. I have since corrected former self on that one. Mrs. Badger is going to be in various roles in future Series, so put a pin on this moment.) Daddy Pig is dumb as Mummy Pig is questioning Daddy Pig's IQ, again. (That didn't take long.) Daddy Pig asks Mr. Badger about Potato City; and he points northwest to the theme park on the hill. Of course! I should note that there are rising helium balloons of various veggie shapes and colors floating around the theme park. This theme park is not very environmentally friendly to me. The gate is a giant mouth of Mr. Potato with potatoes as the gate. (I also removed the word Head from Mr. Potato former self wrote for obvious reasons.) We see Mr. Rabbit, Rebecca Rabbit, Mummy Zebra, Zaza Zebra, Zuzu Zebra, Mr. Rhino, Danny Dog and Mummy Dog enter the fair grounds ahead of the Pig Family. (Also of course, Wendy Wolf actually debuts in the background on the spiral slide! Just like that! I'm not going to remove former self's reference below since it contains voice information.) Daddy Pig apparently did not read the pamplet Mummy Pig had because he thought this would be an educational place, not an actual fun fair. (Simple honest mistake, even if it's possible to do both. Just be careful you don't become more exciting than schools, that could be dangerous.)

Jump cut to the booths as Miss Rabbit is running the ticket booth; although to be fair, there is Mrs. Fox and Mrs. Cow on the sides with Miss Rabbit. (Had to correct this one because the Goat family for the four part special in Italy has a single dad dynamic instead of the single mom dynamic in the Sheep family.) Candy Cat and Mummy Cat are in the foreground. (Also cameos: Belinda Bear and Sexist Mr. Labo!) Mr. Rhino has a child in the foreground with him. (I believe that is the second cameo for Rohan Rhino!) There are a lot of anthros I don't know yet. Oh; hello Mr. Fox and Freddy Fox! Hopefully; you won't leave your son behind like you did when you all last appeared. (Clearly I reviewed this episode out of order. Additional cameos: Daddy Cat, Monsieur and Madame Donkey, but no Delphine Donkey for some reason. Also, no Zoe Zebra. Uh-oh! It looks like child abandonment is catching among the Peppa Pig world in a pre-school setting. Never a good idea, particually with Caillou episodes getting banned for that reason, or so I have heard.) The Pig Family get their tickets and make some small talk for awhile as it's not busy yet. Jump cut to Peppa's friends: Suzy Sheep, Candy Cat, Rebecca Rabbit, Pedro Pony, Danny Dog, Emily Elephant, Richard Rabbit, Edmond Elephant and the debut of Wendy Wolf. (The female wolf with the lavander dress - voiced by Chaniya Mahon in Series 4 and 5, and Eve Ridley since series 6. Chaniya is this show and Rosie Fairy in Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom while Eve Ridley debuted on Peppa Pig and also appeared in 3 Body Problem, Little Baby Bum: Music Time, Casualty and Marisha Wallace: Earth.) Wendy Wolf's debut is odd since her family's official debut is the next episode, actually. We meet and greet and then we officially debut the guy from the television we have seen a few times before this: Mr. Potato and it's clear someone is wearing a costume because he looks like he's ten feet tall. (No, it's not. He's got giant potato genes in his DNA my former self!) He is voiced by the narrator of this show and has a brown hat and a mustache. I should note that after Series Three; Mrs. Potato was apparently fired from this show for unknown reasons. (Nope, she'll be back in full force in later series episodes. She sat out the remainder of her contract, got it renewed when she had stuff to do and went from there.)

He shows off the fair with a small garden. (By the way, Mr. Potato needs some vegetable oil in his diet because those joints are awfully sqeuaky.) There is a potato Merry-Go-Round in the background. There is displays of pumpkins as well and a potato rocket roller coaster, demonstrated by Mr. Fox, Doctor Brown Bear and Mrs. Donkey. Loop-de-Loop for only fifteen pounds (I would say fifteen Euros; but Brexit might make that currency be 1 1/2 Euros. Brexit is horrible by the way, if you want my honest opinion about it.). Mr. Bull is the one running the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~! Also, Job #4. Doctor Elephant also appears barely.) All the big kids hop into the first three cars. George hops into the back car. Mr. Bull proclaims that George is too small to ride; but Daddy Pig is allowed with him, but Daddy Pig is afraid of heights. You know; I am all for George conquering his fear, but why doesn't Daddy Pig do the same? Oh; it's because it's funny, never mind what I said. We push the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) as Daddy Pig wants this to get over with quick; and Mr. Bull assures him that it will be over quick. Then George bawls his eyes out, because he changed his mind. Mummy Pig comes in and takes George out of the car; as Daddy Pig tries to do the same; but the lever has been pulled (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and Daddy Pig might be vomitting soon enough. (He doesn't because BS&P won't allow that one.) They do the spot where the coaster stops for ten seconds and Daddy Pig thinks it's over; but then we go down really fast. Loop-de-Loop for only fifteen pounds ensues as Peppa calls this brilliant. No; I call it a bit boring. (Since Peppa Pig thought Potato City was a bit boring. Hey, anything involving Mr. Potato's health gimmick isn't boring and probably better than anything Mike Adams does because pre-school shows always know how to hold back.) Daddy Pig is hazy as the ride is over and Peppa just has to act like this was the greatest thing on earth. (They couldn't even get out of the first episode before Peppa trolls on her Daddy. Yup, the Nick effect has taken over.) Daddy Pig acts like he cannot wait for this to be over. We head to the board displays where you can put your head through and look like a costumed veggie. Suzy Sheep, Danny Dog, Rebecca Rabbit and Peppa are with Mummy Sheep as Suzy Sheep goes behind the tomato display and everyone laughs at her expense. Rebecca Rabbit picks the carrot man of course; while Peppa trolls on Suzy for fun. (Surprisely, Rebecca doesn't blush here.) Danny chooses the pumpkin one for his own amusement.

Jump cut to the jungle scene with the giant Mr. Potato standing on the train ride. All the kids -- minus Wendy Wolf; who has now been written out by teleport. I think someone in creative got confused -- (SUZY SHEEP?! On a debut no less! Methinks this show might benefit from a holiday.) see dinosaur train carts as one of them is a red triceratops and a purple stegasauraus. Mr. Potato Head claims that they lived together. Finally -- we begin for rant purposes -- the debut of Edmond Elephant's gimmick: He can talk like a scientist as he blows Mr. Potato off for getting all the eras wrong. Mr. Potato is confused as Edmond Elephant claims that he is "a clever clogs"; and then roars with his trumpet nose. I should note that the adults are often like: "Did he just say that?" when his catchphrase comes to mind. Because you see; in British slang; "Clever Clogs" means "Clever Dick"; or as we usually say in North America "Smug Ass". (Learn to love this promo, it's going to be there until the end of time.) Mr. Potato completely ignores him anyway and both Richard and George don't care either as they get on the ride. Suzy questions the connection between this and veggies and Mr. Potato claims that dinosaurs love potatoes, which Edmond says "no" the same way George says it. Mr. Potato ignores him anyway; so he is anti-science. Which makes sense considering how nonsenscial it is to have Mr. Potato be the biggest creature in the episode. We all jump cut to the Merry-Go-Round (Called Roundabout in Britian) which is rides shaped like veggies. (Hello Delphine Donkey, Mummy Pony, and Wendy Wolf written back in by teleport! How about that for magic?! Hmmm, there is also a black male cat with a blue shirt. I wonder if he's related to Daddy Cat in any way. No matter because Mummy Wolf makes her debut here, too, along with another appearance of Mummy Bear!) Mr. Potato cannot even call it that; but the kids don't care as it's Merry-Go-Round time as we zoom out and everyone they can find in Potato City is laughing; except for Mr. Potato, who is merely smiling. The narrators sums it all to end the episode at 4:30 approx. (As they zoom out, guess who also debuts: Daddy Wolf! Also, Zoe Zebra returns on the rollar coaster! Doctor Hamster and Simon Squirrel return as well!) The Peppa song was wimiscial and fun too; although it was mostly fun at the fair and nothing else outside of little annoying logic breaks. *** (60%). (I didn't realize it until now; "Mr. Potato Is Coming To Town" and "Eat Your Five" use the exact same music for their songs! That's where Pedro Pony got his idea for "The Baked Bean" song from. Cheeky bastard!)

The New House: Here is episode #159 on the animation paper and we open with a zoom in shot of the house on the hill. We head inside Daddy Pig's workroom; which looks almost like Mummy's office; only the computer is on a table and not on a desk. (I think it is the same office as Mummy Pig, only Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig share the office. Just a hunch on my part.) There is a model white house on the desk as Daddy Pig is drawing up blueprints. Peppa and George come in and Peppa is not impressed with the small white house Daddy Pig is building because it's for small people. (Actually, Peppa asks if it is for ants and fairies, not small people former self.) Daddy Pig points out that it's a model and shows off his blueprint drawing of the new house, which looks like the same house we see in every Peppa Pig show. Peppa draws in a swing set on the right side with a blue marker. (Which Daddy Pig is perfectly fine with and it didn't vandalize the blueprints, so it was okay.) Daddy offers Peppa a tour of the new home and Peppa agrees to it. Jump cut to the boring road with Daddy Pig driving the car with Peppa and George. They make it to a hilltop remembering to park on the steepest side of the hill...AGAIN! Peppa and George climb out. Peppa is not amused because construction hasn't started yet. On the opposite side of the hill; we have Mr. Bull, Mr. Labo and Mr. Rhino with diggers and a cement mixer. Of course, the cement mixer is one of Daddy Pig's favorite things in the world because in storyline, Daddy Pig has a love for concrete. At least until the end of Simple Science. (Good thing you said "at least" because Daddy Pig did not learn his lesson...) Mr. Bull's walking assures the definition of slow moving vehicles. (That was a witty line there former self. Have a donair plate on me. SIKE!) George loves diggers and I just love how the cement mixer is parked on the steepest side of the hill. Daddy points out that he did the hard part (Really?!) with the blueprints and Mr. Bull needs to follow his instructions. Daddy Pig wants them to build the house exactly like the little white house model; only much bigger so says Peppa. Daddy Pig wants it made out of brick. I realize that making a house uses a diverse set of materials and techinques; but there is a storyline reason for the "Straw? Stick? Or Brick?" spot. More on that later.

Peppa insists they do not forget the swing and Mr. Bull is fine with this. We start building with bricks and concrete as Peppa and George put on yellow hard hats wanting to help. We demonstrate the wonders of mortor -- the glue to stick bricks togethers -- so says Mr. Bull calling it special mud since Peppa Pig called it squishy mud. (Because you see, Peppa love muddy puddles and the mortor reminds her of mud. I've heard much worse from this show actually. Also, Peppa got to lay the first brick on this house because she's the star and everyone else is a geek!) Mr. Bull proclaims that bricks must be straight and level. Sadly; the artwork is not helping on the straight and level part. The next part is also high comedy: Mr. Bull proclaims that you cannot build a house in a day; but it will be finished tomorrow. He hesistated as a cue to make sure that you were about to hear that it was bullshit. See what I did there?! Daddy says "goodbye" with hard hat on and the Pig family gets into the car which is in the opposite direction and it drives down the hill. The digger comes up the hill with more bricks as we head back to the house on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as the car is now facing the opposite direction already. Good. We head inside Peppa & George's bedroom as we have the exchanging of notes session with Mummy and Peppa Pig. George is playing with his toy digger and I would suggest that this was done to shut up stupid critics who thought George was a one-note gimmick, which was false even in Series One! Playtime is over and lights out with snoring! Morning arises as a cock crows in the background. Peppa, George and Daddy get into their car and drive down the hill. Cut to Mr. Bull and his crew literally having tea in front of the brick house on the hill. Peppa, George and Daddy Pig leave the car as the house is nearly done; but there is the inspection left as the inspector is Miss...POW! OUCH! Ummmm...I mean; it's Mr. Rabbit in his blue car. Wow; I must be cynical at this point since I'm so used to Miss Rabbit doing this kind of stuff. (Actually, this makes storyline sense since Mr. Rabbit works with Daddy Pig and Mummy Cat at the blueprints office!) Mr. Rabbit bangs on the brick wall and then gets the stamp of approval. Just like that.

But wait; it's not finished because the swing set hasn't been installed yet. Mr. Bull tells them to think again as Mr. Labo installs the swing set onto the ground; without nailing it down mind you, and Peppa sits on the swing. (Considering that Mr. Bull's roof mending abilities and his deconstruction fetishes are gimmicks on this show, maybe Mr. Labo should have nailed the swing down.) Daddy Pig declares that the house is for their new neighbours and here they comes with their blue flat truck: Daddy Wolf, Mummy Wolf and Wendy Wolf. They also park on a slant; although not on the steepest side of the hill. Mr. Wolf sounds like a creep to me since he looks them little piggies. (If you ever want to know why I thought it was creepy for Daddy Pig to call his kids "my little piggies", it's because of Daddy Wolf being literally the Big Bad Wolf from "Three Little Pigs".) Remember earlier in the episode where they were talking about the "straw, sticks and bricks"?! Well; the payoff is that the Wolf family is literally a gimmicked version of the Big Bad Wolf, only they tease blowing down houses and not deliver. And they are also nice about it, sort of. We meet and greet as Mr. Wolf tests the house by literally trying to blow the house down; but since it's made of brick, it fails. I would have loved this to end with Daddy Pig having to chase his car down the steep hill; just to prove that it's time to stop parking your vehicles needlessly on steep hills; but it's not going to happen. Which is odd considering that nothing I described would have been problematic in this show. Mr. Wolf turns around and asks about Daddy Pig's house and Daddy claims it's bricks; nicely tells him to sod off even thinking about blowing his house down. (There is an awesome spot later in this series involving Daddy Wolf, Daddy Pig, a river and a canoe. It's gloriously hilarious!) Wendy loves the swing and gives Peppa the first go, since it was her idea. Peppa asks for a push and Wendy no sells; because she'll blow wind on her and it works. Peppa swings and everyone except Wendy does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. That was a funny way to end this episode as the Wolf family already has a neat gimmick and they felt like stars here despite having a full minute of screen time. **** 1/4 (85%).

Basketball: Here is episode #160 on the animation paper as we begin this episode at a basketball court with all the kids in white basketball gear running around, giggling. Today's players are Peppa Pig, George Pig, Freddy Fox, Rebecca Rabbit, Pedro Pony, Emily Elephant, Richard Rabbit, Suzy Sheep, Danny Dog and Zoe Zebra. Madame Gazelle arrives with the net of basketballs and her whistle. Gazelle explains that there is a special someone to teach them basketball and out comes Daddy Pig in a white shirt. Everyone is wearing red shoes for some reason. Peppa and Suzy think Daddy Pig is only here to pick them up and it's too early. Daddy Pig has to explain that he's the teacher of basketball. Also known as a coach as he shows off his basketball moves and they're not half bad at all. Peppa calls him clever and Daddy orders her to call him coach, so Peppa calls him Daddy Coach. HAHA! (The fact that Daddy Pig no sold the thing was also funny.) Of course; no kid on the court knows how to play basketball. Daddy Pig shows off his dribbing skills and shooting skills as he shoots a three pointer from nearly sixty feet and it's nothing but net for Daddy Pig. Geez; I cannot even do that anymore, my body sucks now. (Now I get hand cramps painting. Yes, painting. Painting stakes and hobby horses is fun, but awfully messy.) Freddy Fox grabs the basketball; calls it easy and under throws it both in the literal and spiritual sense as the ball bounnces off the pole below the basket. Not even close. Daddy Pig explains that being fit is the key to training success and Peppa calls him out on it because it's DADDY'S BIG TUMMY all over again. Daddy admits that his tummy is big; but it's full of muscle. Well; that's one way to deflect all the fat jokes on you off. (Wow, that was a neat analogy there, former self. I'm done with the donair plate sike, you're not going to fall for it twice in one rant!) Lesson One: Passing. Danny Dog still needs to get the soccer training out of his system, sadly. Daddy Pig scolds him and then shows off more of his dribbling skills. He is the biggest Stephen Curry fan you will ever see. Suzy Sheep's dribbling skills are so horrible that it's funny. (Suzy Sheep basically travels, bounces with both hands and then travels again. Her skills need lots of work.) Daddy Pig is fine with it though as we get a lot of kids with pylon cones bouncing the ball. George and Richard are already learning how to pass and not too bad despite being two years old.

Daddy Pig blows the whistle as it's time to do the steal; which is called tackling here. I'm not sure if this is a BS&P decision; or a British term here. (This is a weird decision since tackling is actually a violent act in soccer and American rules football. Personally, I would have used "taking", or "picking off "the ball, like American rules football's definition of an interception since it's less violent while having the meaning that you want to see.) Okay; it's BS&P pre-school rule that saying stealing in a show is wrong. What a shocker?! (The old "Swiper no swiping" rule where any term that sounds like stealing or theft is allowed. Annoying, but Swiper had it's charm in Dora The Explorer.) George is right in front of him and I betcha Daddy Pig demonstrates it to George and George bawls right on cue. I check the video...Nope; George steals the ball, travels like there's no tomorrow and throws the basketball backwards right into Daddy Pig's hands. No crying; but some giggling as he needs more training. Everyone needs more training. (These little ones need a lesson in avoiding traveling. George's back pass was hilarious, though.) It's time to have a practice game and of course; the kids split up as Boys Vs. Girls while giggling. Sigh; I was hoping they would know better; but patriarchy rules the roost -- even in the world of Peppa Pig -- I guess. (Guess who wants boys vs. girls?! Danny Dog. If you ever wondered why Danny Dog gets buried on this show all the time even when he wins, this is the reason why. Sexist dickhead!) Daddy Pig is your special guest referee and Pedro plays the cowardly heel cowboy who cries foul since George and Richard are on their team. So?! George and Richard can pass the ball well enough. Danny Dog still thinks they can win because they are a super team according to Pedro. Wow; that's the most absurd attempt to get around the obvious sexism of this angle. (I love that Danny is sexist and Pedro is ageist here. No wonder they both get buried deep within the earth on this show. It's due to promos like this.) Daddy Pig blows the whistle and throws up the ball and Emily grabs it by her trunk over Danny Dog. Ummm; that's a violation right there since she used her trunk instead of her hands to slap it back to her team mates. Even Peppa thinks this is wrong and unfair. When the biggest troll of the show is correct, you know there is cheating going on.

Suzy blows her off because she's on their team, Peppa ignores everything she said and roots Emily on. It's bad enough that they had a boys VS. girls match -- which is a shaky plotline in the best of episodes -- in a pre-school show; the girls side has to CHEAT TO WIN~! STUPID! (This angle sucks, but Peppa Pig looking like a geek during this was awesome.) They all argue and Daddy Pig stops this by putting them all on one team. It's Kids VS. Adults now, so instead of sexism, it's ageism. (Why not former self?! It's better than sexism and the kids must win because they are the stars, even though all but Peppa Pig are still geeks to her!) It's Mr. Rabbit, Mummy Sheep, Doctor Elephant, Mummy Zebra and Mummy Dog VS all the kids in a ten on five basketball game. (Hey, that's not as horrible as FOURTEEN KIDS beating Doctor Elephant in a puddle jumping contest with the referee allowing it. Although Daddy Pig figured out how to beat fourteen people total in Bad Mitten. As of this writing, the Peppa Pig Tales #21 rant is not up yet.) The kids don't like this; but Daddy assures them that they can win, because they are trained basketball players. Mr. Rabbit loves cricket; but has no expertise in basketball. I'm guessing the children will win this one. We ready, steady, go -- In America, it's "ready, set, go" -- and Doctor Elephant dribbes the ball with his trunk, because trunks are legal here. Don't ask me why. (Hey, at least Doctor Elephant didn't travel.) TURNOVER BY GEORGE~! George is clearly traveling here and does the backwards pass to Zoe Zebra. Zoe bounces the ball through her legs to Richard Rabbit as he travels to Peppa Pig. Yes; the little kids traveled twice on the same play with no whistle. The writers clearly do not watch actual basketball games, nor did their research properly here. Peppa under hands the ball and it's nothing but net. The grownup group needs more training, although Doctor Elephant is not bad all things considered. (Coach Daddy Pig is a terrible referee! Might as well be called Joe West.) The kids cheat to win and no one cares since it's all Daddy Coach's fault. Everyone laughs as we zoom out to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was really fun, but there was a lot of cheating that wasn't needed here and the sexism angle is starting to annoy me even more now. *** 1/4 (65%). (If Richard and George dribbled the ball, it's *** 3/4 without question. The rating stays as is.)

Horsey Twinkletoes: We march on with episode #161 on the animation paper; and we begin this one on the house on the hill. Zoom into the bedroom of the kids as Peppa Pig is having tea with Teddy; like a Z-grade Teddy Bear's Picnic; while George is playing with Mr. Dinesaur. George wrecks the picnic and Peppa blows him off for it, ordering him to stay on the western side of the bedroom. (Well to be fair, George knocked over the tea set. That was a bad idea on George's part.) She draws an invisible line and tells George to not cross this damn line. Then the doorbell rings; and Peppa crosses her own line. Yeah. George follows her down the stairs because the post has arrived which is called mail in North America. (How did Peppa know that it was mail since the doorbell is always used in every episode?! It could be Suzy Sheep for all we know.) The door at the lobby opens and it's Mr. Zebra. Daddy Pig is also there taking letters; none of them for the kids as per Peppa asking. But; wait! Mr. Zebra brings in a giant box with a lot of stamps and warning stickers; because it has been mailed from a long ways away. Daddy Pig literally thinks that it's the reinforced concrete he bought. Because you see: In storyline, Daddy Pig has an obsession with concrete. Dear god, is he going to live to regret it when the episode Simple Science ended?! Mr. Zebra leaves as Daddy Pig checks the label and it is for Peppa and George as Peppa cheers. Cut to inside the kitchen as Mummy Pig is at the table reading EZZA magazine. I need to find out where to buy this magazine and see what the love is for this magazine. The kids and Daddy Pig come in and put the box down to show to Mummy. Daddy Pig finds a white letter and opens it; and it's basically a gift from Auntie Dottie; who lives in another country. I'm certain we will meet her sometime in Series Five; but who knows. (Since this episode aired, there has been no sign of Auntie Dottie anywhere. Something tells me, Auntie Dottie might be Auntie Pig and her first name is Dottie Pig. (Which Mummy Pig puts the end to that theory since Dottie lives in another country.) We'll see where this goes since the show keeps getting new episodes, maybe in Series Eight the writers will bring her back in some form since this was the only episode mention of this character.)

Daddy Pig opens the box and brings out what appears to be a piece of wood on wheels; like a skate. Mummy Pig finds the lower body of what appears to be the parts of a wooden horse carriage on wheels. Peppa and George argue about the horse's name as Peppa wants to call it Twinkle Toes and George wants to call it horsey. Daddy and Mummy Pig remind them that the gift is for both of them, thus they must share. (The letter mention this, so Auntie Dottie wants them to share. Okay.) Which means selfish assholes and scoiopaths cannot get away fast enough from this episode. (Daddy Pig claims that sharing can be fun. That can be true until it hurts you. Like sharing viruses like COVID-19. Just saying Daddy Pig, just saying.) Peppa wants to ride the horse carriage first; but Mummy Pig denies that since George is the youngest. A lot of ageism is present in this deal. George shakes the horsey as Peppa blows him off for calling it that; because it's Twinkletoes. This is somehow enough for Peppa to get to play with the carriage now. This is so stupid as George barely touched the poor thing. Peppa is going on about being Princess Peppa with her horse Twinkletoes as she pulls the carriage behind her and it knocks over all the conveniently placed, out of nowhere recycling bins. Of course! Mummy Pig tells her to play with the horse outside and Peppa is delighted to do so. (Probably because she was going outside with it anyway.) She doesn't clean up with Mummy Pig and company either. (This is one of those things that annoys me about the new Peppa Pig episodes: If you knock something down, you should clean it up, even if your parents help you with it.) We jump cut to outside with Daddy Pig as he puts the horse buggy down. Then Daddy Pig gets on it since playing it on the steepest side of the hill is a bad idea; so he's going to ride the damn thing down the hill. (This is the definition of a solution where you literally need to duck into the punch.)

Even Peppa is questioning this absurdly horrible idea and Daddy Pig tells her to relax. This is one good reason to always stay woke. Daddy Pig is dumb and reckless. (Even better, the toy horse goes down the hill properly after dozens of other objects staying still. SUZY SHEEP?!) But thankfully; there is the duck pond conveniently placed and somehow Daddy Pig manages to sploosh into the duck pond without the horse carriage following him and stopped right on a dime. (SUZY SHEEP?! Don't worry, the payoff to that joke is coming in this series, it's not on this set of episodes.) That's like Jake Roberts DDT'ing Mr. Fuji and somehow Fuji's hat doesn't dislodge from his head. (This is why wrestling in the 1980's rules, because of little details like that, even if the match was horrible in hindsight. That was a SUZY SHEEP moment if I ever saw one and it happened in real life, too!) Somehow; the ducks didn't get crushed either as Daddy Pig pops from the pond and one of the ducks is right on top of his head. Peppa is giddy over this as Daddy Pig manages to get out of the pond with the duck still on his head. He is in complete denial of any splashing involved when Mummy Pig walks in wondering what is going on. Mummy Pig is not buying what Daddy Pig is selling. Daddy Pig confesses and they all giggle. (Daddy Pig is our GEEK OF THE WEEK~!) George finally jumps on horsey and horsey is no selling any progress, forwards nor backwards. (At least they didn't feed the ducks this time.) Daddy wonders if anyone wants to push the horsey and Peppa decides to be the pusher as we see Peppa push the horse carriage with George on it and then they argue about the name...AGAIN! Then Peppa stops and realizes that since they share the carriage, it's called Horsey Twinkletoes. Okay. Peppa pushes the carriage around the duck pond as everyone giggles and quacks to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Daddy Pig being dumb on a plastic horse was hilarious; the rest was fine. (This was actually more entertaining on the second viewing, so *** 1/2 (70%).)

Naughty Tortoise: We continue with episode #162 on the animation paper and the episode opens in the forest of fallen leaves; because it's the fall season. (Pre-emptive strike: Why did former self give this episode ** 3/4?!) Peppa, Suzy, Danny, Emily, Zoe, Rebecca and Pedro are running in their winter clothes. Since there are no muddy puddles around, they jump in the leaves instead. Suddenly, Tiddles walks slowly towards the kids; because it's a tortoise, dammit! In comes Doctor Hamster with the box of straw because Tiddles is cheeky and Doctor Hamster is much slower in the head than Pedro. At least Pedro is a four year old and has that excuse going for him. Doctor Hamster is a grown up person and has no excuse. Doctor Hamster puts Tiddles in his box as it's bed time because tortoises hibernate in the winter time. Apparently; this tortoise has criminal disregard for his health. Pedro just has to remind us that he loves sleeping. (Which to be honest, so do I nowadays. The consequences of being old and shameless, I guess.) Oh; and Tiddles has opens the box and escaped up a tree...AGAIN! (Another funny spot: When the narrator says that Tiddles has run away, everyone on screen gasps!) Doctor Hamster is still clueless about tortoises climbing trees. Peppa wonders how to get Tiddles to come down. (Oh here we go, the moment I was waiting for since doing the additional commentary for these rants! Suzy Sheep is the MVP of this episode, bar none!) Suzy responds to this question by yelling "Chop the tree down, BAAAAAAAA!" and Doctor Hamster replies with the same candence as George Pig: No. That was awesome! If this were not a pre-school show, Suzy's suggestion would be the finish and Tiddles jumps down into Doctor Hamster's arms before it happens. (Yup, and it wouldn't be as awesome as this episode because Miss Rabbit is about to do something mind blowing at the end of this episode!) Doctor Hamster brings out the cell-phone because it's time to ring in the Mummies Fire Brigade~! This time, Mrs. Cow and Mrs. Elephant have joined the brigade since the last time we saw this as they are having tea. (If you listen closely, you can hear Daddy Pig laughing all the way to the bank. Only half the money payout this time, since they don't chat this time.) Apparently; the rest of the brigade is on duty as they take the phone call and really surprised that this is happening...AGAIN! The fire truck comes out of the station; we get sirens on as the truck makes it to the tree in question. Mrs. Elephant takes over the ladder and brings it out as Mrs. Cow climbs onto the ladder; but Tiddles climbs higher and higher.

Mrs. Cow calls Tiddles a "little pickle" and then grabs onto the tree; because Mrs. Cow is apparently, more afraid of heights than Daddy Pig ever was. (By the way, the narrator and Mummy Elephant addresses Mrs. Cow as Mummy Cow even though there is no evidence that she is a mother yet on this show. I know in Series Eight, she marries Mr. Bull; but still...) Mrs. Elephant than climbs the tree and she is afraid of heights as Tiddles continues to climb higher. Of course! Doctor Hamster sighs as Suzy wants to chop the tree down! AGAIN! She get blown off for that! AGAIN! (Not to mention that everyone panics on cue the moment Suzy Sheep is there to yell that promo! I am so loving this Grade S trolling move by Suzy Sheep. It's not her fault that Doctor Hamster is ignorant of tortoises being expert climbers, including trees!) Doctor Hamster rings in the next rescue service, which is Granddad Dog and his breakdown truck on the boring road right now. He answers his phone and of course he realizes that this has happened before; but still comes in as he ponders what to do and Suzy wants to chop the tree down and Granddad Dog agrees with her, bringing out an out of nowhere axe, causing everyone to panic. (I howled with laughter seeing this. This is the greatest pre-Simple Science episode I have ever seen as a mind blowing episode because you don't expect this in a pre-school show. You don't expect them to tease actual dangerous tactics at all and yet he's Granddad Dog welding an axe like an axe grinding maniac. This is so great and this episode is far from done in terms of mind blowing moment.) At least Granddad Dog understands the definition of insanity; too bad, it's apathy that he needs to understand more of. Sadly; it also means Granddad Dog has to define insanity and climb the tree and he's now stuck. Idiot! (He is the GEEK OF THE WEEK, but it won't be long before he's forced to share the title with everyone, including Peppa Pig! How?! Watch on...) Suzy is clearly a tree hating manaic who loves seeing trees come down; but Doctor Hamster no sells because she is going to ring in Miss Rabbt's helicopter service, the highest rescue service in the land. (Suzy Sheep is hellbent on seeing this tree get chopped down and by the way, this will not be the last episode she does this spot and get blown off for it. Sadly, they stopped doing it after one episode in Series Five for who knows what reason. That disgusts me as a viewer because it was an awesome joke and everyone and their dog knows that the tree is never going to get chopped down. Suzy Sheep must have been a fan of the Japanese version of Unjammer Lenny, which had a song that talked about chopping down trees that got censored outside of Japan because BS&P didn't want kids to think chopping down trees was cool. Sony check, everyone. Nintendo nowadays would allow it without heistation, because they have no shame anymore.)

I hope Doctor Hamster has a lot of insurance for this as Miss Rabbit arrives in her helicopter and brings out the rope ladder; but forgets to put the auto-pilot on. Of course! (Also, Doctor Hamster could use a good lawyer and a retest of her medical skills.) Thankfully; Granddad Dog reminds her and Miss Rabbit goes back into the helicopter and turns the auto-pilot. You can tell they did this to pad the running time of this episode; simply because the auto-pilot has a robot voice telling her that the auto-pilot is on and to have a nice day. (Also of note, Tiddles has teleport to the branch where Miss Rabbit is. SUZY SHEEP?!) Miss Rabbit comes back down on the rope ladder and grabs Tiddles, calling it a little rascal. Just like that! Miss Rabbit buried everyone in that tree, including Tiddles! (Oh, stay tuned because Miss Rabbit is not done with that golden shovel...) Miss Rabbit lands on the ground and gives Tiddles back to Doctor Hamster. The kids pop as Doctor Hamster thanks Miss Rabbit; and Miss Rabbit responds and calls Doctor Hamster, Mom. Wait; what?! So, Doctor Hamster's first name is Mom?! Really, show?! (Yes, because even the creators are admitting that Miss Rabbit is suffering from a burnout Doctor Brown Bear couldn't have.) Everyone else climbs from the ladder; so they stopped selling their fear of heights. (GEEKS OF THE WEEK!) Miss Rabbit simply walks away from her helicopter; until one of the adults tells her that she might have forgotten something. (It was off-screen, but Doctor Hamster was the one to point it out.) Miss Rabbit turns around; realizes the helicopter is still there and goes up the ladder and into the helicopter; and flies away stage left. So, she buried everyone, and I do mean everyone now! (The money shot of the entire series right there. Everyone became a geek: The characters, the show, the creators who made the show, the boardcasters who broadcast the show and everyone watching it to boot. No wonder this show got heat and love, because of moments like this! Fuck former self for calling this a middling episode!) Doctor Hamster calls Tiddles naughty in a speak for yourself moment and Tiddles finally yawns and goes to sleep. Hopefully awaking with a new owner who has a clue. (Tiddles better keep on waiting, it's not going to get the same mercy as patients for Doctor Brown Bear got.) Tiddles is put in the box to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Can we now hold hearings on Doctor Hamster's vet license since she doesn't understand that tortoises do in fact climb trees?! She's costing the rescue services a lot more time and money than Daddy Pig ever did. (You know what this episode is getting. ***** (100%). Former self might be right on that last sentence, but sod off for thinking that this episode was just there! This was an amazing spectacle, almost on Simple Science's level!)

Mr. Fox's Shop: Here is episode #163 on the animation paper and we open with the house on the hill and a zoom in shot of the kitchen table. (Poor Mr. Fox! Debuting his shop literally after the episode where Miss Rabbit and Suzy Sheep just had the best episode in the pre-Golden Boots era!) Mummy Pig is wrapping a present as Peppa and George run in. Peppa asks what the present is for. Well; it's not for Peppa nor George since the present is a glass vase, which Mummy Pig shows. (Also, the audience barely sees it when they did the opening zoom in sequence.) Because you see; it's a present for grownups, also known as Grandpa and Grandma Pig. Peppa and George want to buy their grandparents a gift for their wedding anniversary; but those things cost a lot of that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. Which they have only one penny and two green buttons; also known as Euros. POW! OUCH! Ummm...Also known as not money. (I corrected former self's pound joke since the narrator literally said penny.) Mummy Pig says okay; let's go shopping. We head to Mr. Fox's shop and inside to the counter with Mr. Fox as we meet, greet and exchange notes. Mr. Fox's gimmick is that he sells everything, like the world's smallest department store, or the world's most sturdy pawn shop, depending on your point of view. Peppa of course trolls on the present being a giant purple/pink patched teddy bear; and Mummy Pig has to cut her off on that. I have a possible alternative ending to this: Grandpa and Grandma Pig are teddy bear collectors and this is a rare one they were looking for at the time. (Oh speaking of trolling...) So, the teddy bear is "out" and it's time to wind up some comedy dentures for fun. Daddy Pig claims his parents have lots of teeth. Mr. Fox decides to bring them into the backroom for some showing off of buckets and spades (shovel in North America) in a "buy one, get one free" sale. Peppa says, no thanks, since they got that already. We go to his sailing department and I swear; his shop is like a TARDIS. Sadly; no pirate's treasure in this house of everything; and that makes him more honest than Bonkers D. Bobcat and his "House of Everything". (I'm not that joke again. The episode makes sense with the characters, but it's impossible to care about this episode after Suzy Sheep and Miss Rabbit blew the viewers minds in the last episode. Time for the holiday now, barely six episodes into Series Four!)

At least Mr. Fox has limited quanities of talent and one of them is selling you a bill of goods that antiques are new and plentiful, even though the definition of antique is old and rare. (I might as well mention this now: There will be a legit pirate on this show coming up as early as Series Five I do believe and he'll make extra horror material in the same manner the Queen will later on in Series Four!) This is demonstrated in his Mr. Fox seal-approved products with chairs coming in a set of twelve and made of plastic oak. (Ironically, Lake City does have this type of stuff sold in their shop and makes plastic wood picnic tables!) How transparently absurd do you have to be to think these products are antiques?! Daddy Pig sits down on the plastic oak chair. Mr. Fox yells at him, forcing Daddy to stand up; because these antiques are for looking. Yes; this is boring and we head back to the counter as Mr. Fox is befuddled by this. (Considering that former self rants the episodes out of order, even he thinks this show needs the hitaus. In order, you can blame Miss Rabbit and Suzy Sheep for it since this show ain't topping that moment...until Simple Science in Series Five!) Peppa then goes for the teddy bear again and everyone agrees that it was the best present all along. Oh; and it cost one penny and one green button when it's ringed in. I guess the world of Peppa Pig; buttons are also a legit currency now. Heh. (So, they are considered decriminalized currency in Britian in the Peppa Pig world since 1971. Mr. Fox must wanted that teddy bear gone. Bigot. ) Peppa thanks Mr. Fox and we head to the white house on the hill as the family arrives in their car, parking on the steepest side of the hill. Everyone goes into the kitchen as we meet and greet with the presents. I should note that they were not exactly thrilled by the vase present since there were two vases in the background with flowers in it. Peppa calls the present boring and presents the teddy bear and they love it of course. (See, former self's alternative ending was the real one. HAHA!) He's cuddley and his name is Eddie The Teddy. Eddie's favorite foods are chocolate and broccoli: two of the most opposite types of food you'll ever hear from a child's mouth. Peppa and George agree to play with Eddie when they visit and it ends with the blacksplash laugh at 4:30 approx. It has gotten to the point where the backsplash laugh is a joke; rather than the pay off to the previous joke at this point. That is a sign that a hitaus would not be a bad idea at this point. Episode was cute and fine. *** (60%).

Shadows: We head on to episode #164 and open with a shot of the house on the hill as Peppa, George and Rebecca Rabbit -- with spotted bouncy ball -- run down the hill to play in the fields. They are playing "Piggy In The Middle" which was a game they played in Series One. George of course is the piggy in the middle, because he's a fool. George proves it even more by trying to catch the shadow, which Peppa blows off as silly and demonstrates the art of shadows. George tries to walk away from his shadow; which is a failure. Rebecca claims that you have to run away from your shadow and Peppa tries to do that; that was also a failure. In comes Suzy Sheep on her purple scooter as Suzy's voice sounds different than usual, as she rationally explains that no one can run away from their shadow. (I check the audio of my source video, Suzy Sheep's voice is the same, former self.) At least for five seconds; because she tries to ride away from her shadow with her scooter, that was a failure, too. In comes Doctor Elephant, Emily Elephant and Edmond Elephant as Doctor Elephant is roaring with his trunk. Doctor Elephant of course is pointing out that running away from the shadow is impossible and he demonstrates his point nicely in spite of Suzy's commands to run faster. Emily claims that his shadow is so big that it's slowing him down; which is funny by the way. (It was supposed to be a joke on Emily's part since the kids all giggle after she said it. Doctor Elephant don't care and explains away like a serious sciency guy.) Edmond basically gets out the educational lines of the episode about how solid bodies bounce off sunlight to create shadows underneath. This was to remind the audience that Edmond is a clever clogs complete with trunk blowing. Everyone giggles and then Suzy proclaims that there is a giant shadow among our mists as it's built to be scary. By pre-school standards of course. However, Doctor Elephant blows it off because we zoom out and it's a giant...cloud. The one Kit Cloudkicker would have love to surf on. Edmond has the smartass mouth again as he properly identifies the cloud, because he's a clever clogs as per the narrator. (Edmond calls it a stratocumulus cloud. Most of these don't rain, so I'll give Edmond the benefit of the doubt on this one.)

Then we show the shadows getting longer and they are in awe. That's because the sun is setting -- which takes exactly ten seconds before it's after dark -- and now the shadow is gone. (Doctor Elephant is a decent teacher on this day. It's Edmond that's overdoing it.) Or in reality; there is no light present so the shadow is basically infinite. (Infinity to me now means: "I don't know what the number is." Personally, my definition is sort of humbling.) I'm surprised Edmond didn't correct anyone on that. Maybe he isn't such a clever clogs after all. Daddy Pig calls for Peppa and George to come in for bed time. The kids all wave goodbye and bail towards their homes. We head to Peppa and George's bedroom as the kids are tucked in for the night. Peppa is complaining about losing her shadow. Mummy Pig rightfully points out that electrical lights do suffice in making shadows as demonstrated by Mummy Pig's shadow clearly being shown on the floor and under the bunk beds, too. We make shadow puppets for a while. Mummy Pig makes a bird shadow puppet and it tweets, so this is a prototype logo for Twitter. Or not. (Actually not. Twitter debuted in 2006, about four years before this episode and roughly two years after Peppa Pig debuted Series One!) Peppa Pig makes a spider called Mr. Skinnylegs; which I betcha was cut in the Australian broadcasts. If it's not, then banning Mr. Skinnylegs makes them look like hypocrites in hindsight, since the whole point of banning it was that it glorified spiders as not dangerous -- when in Australia -- they mostly are. (I'm going to take a wild guess: Since no actual spider was shown, showing someone cosplaying a spider with shadows is considered harmless and thus can be broadcasted on Australian television without the government getting all pissy. Don't worry, Mr. Skinnylegs is returning to this show in this Series Four and the government will bring the ban hammer on this show...AGAIN!) George makes the most complicated shadow in history; which is a dinesaur (sic) of course. HAHA! It was silly; not scary. It's time for the lights out as it's good night to the kids and the shadows. Zoom out to a shot on the house on the hill to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Not much to see here; but what we saw was fun... (This was more entertaining on the second viewing, mostly due to the running from shadows and failing hilariously. Edmond's clever vlog routine is also amusing, so *** 1/2 (75%).)

International Day: Next up is episode #165 on the animation paper as we head to the school house on the hill and inside playgroup. Oh dear; where do I start with this pain?! Okay, problem number one: Why are the kids dressed up like stereotypes?! Listen, unless they come from that country, or their parents have come from said country, it's typically considered bigoted to dress up like that. You can pin the flag of their country to their shirts and go from there, it's okay. That's stupidity moment #1. Although, Pedro sort of gets a free pass because as I discover in a later episode, Pedro might be a transplated American, or his parent were Americans. (Okay, I have sort of mellowed out on this for the fact that the countries involved are not considered conquered people. South Africa is the closest to being that, but none of these countries give a damn about you using their culture. They are more pissed off of you trying to steal their legacy more than anything else. Dressing up in their clothes isn't going to piss most people in those countries off. There are bigger problems with this episode than that one, former self. Now, First Nations is another matter altogether...) Problem number two: Peppa represents France. Why?! (You want to talk about disrespect: Russia's flag is basically the Netherlands flag with the colors switched. How didn't the Netherlands sue for that one?!) Why not have Delphine represent France, since she lives in France and have a neat cameo?! If I was booking this: Peppa would be British and George would be Canadian. Why is George, Russian in this setup, is the big question?! (Yeah, I didn't like this idea of George being Russian even more now considering what Russia has turned into in recent years. I guess the writers couldn't figure out what Canadian stereotype would work with George and not make it look like Canada was America's 51st state or something. Or just wanted to make Russia look tiny for a joke that doesn't catch. Need to do research, writers!) Problem number three: Madame Gazelle begins her promo be saying that we are celebrating all the countries of the world. Now; I don't expect them to celebrate over two hundred plus countries and terrorities because they don't have the time to give everyone a proper tribute. However, here are the kids and the countries that they represent:

[1.] Peppa Pig - France (Who cannot say any French words and speaks English anyway.), [2.] George Pig - Russia (George giggles like he knows Russia is evil.) , [3.] Suzy Sheep - The Netherlands (Mandy Mouse would wear the same outfit for World Book Day, which was the point where I sort of mellowed out on problem number one.), [4.] Danny Dog - Mexico, [5.] Pedro Pony - United States Of America, [6.] Rebecca Rabbit - Germany, [7.] Richard Rabbit - Spain, [8.] Candy Cat - Switzerland, [9.] Emily Elephant - South Africa, [10.] Edmond Elephant - Greece, [11.] Zoe Zebra - Japan (She says "hello" in Japanese.), [12.] Wendy Wolf - Australia, [13.] Freddy Fox - United Kingdom, [14.] Madame Gazelle - Romania ( I know there's no flag for it. However, I'll explain why that is the case in the Halloween special in the Peppa VS. The World rant when I get to this.), [15.] Leftover different flags: Poland, Italy. (Sadly, Gabriella Goat didn't make her debut until thirty episodes after this. I'm guessing Gerald would represent Poland. Or maybe even Molly Mole in Series Five. Ironically, Lottie Llama is legit a German national in Series Seven!)

So, that makes fifteen countries. Yes; in the Peppa Pig world, there are only fifteen countries in the world. Oh; and Canada is not one of them! (Sorry writers, you cannot use the SUZY SHEEP~ defense for this one!) One of the top ten countries in the real world and Canada is not one of them. That's a load of bullshit! Even if you are an Euro-centered white male writer; at least add Norway or Canada or even Iceland~! (Oooooo, former self trying to demonstrate that he's woke. Try harder, it's not enough!) Also, only one African country?! I remember doing an international day and Kenya was one of the countries I represented when I was a kid at school. Only one country from Asia?! (More importantly, No China! Despite Peggi and Pandora doing a Chinese New Year episode in Series Six! China's not only the most populated, they are the biggest influencer in the world, even more than the USA! Otherwise, why are other countries like Canada accusing them of election inference?! No India either, also a major player on the world's stage now.) No South American countries?! Even the Nintendo Switch has developers from South America! Mexico is North America by the way. I can understand Antartica not being on the list; although Pedro picking that country would be much funnier. More on Pedro Pony as this episode moves on because I have another problem with this episode. (They also reused a lot of the country flags in the background, which annoyed me as well. Listen, my love for Canada has subsided in recent years, but for goodness sakes, the country exists! We are not the 51st state in America! Get over it, you British writers!) By the way; the Netherlands is called "Holland" in this show by the narrator. Suzy says hello in Dutch. Suzy thinks it's "hello"; but it's "hallo". Not much of a difference, but still. Problem number four: Holland is only a part of the Netherlands and some people outside of the Holland region don't really like that. This is similar to people outside of Halifax and Dartmouth (Nova Scotia) not liking the region being called the HRM (Halifax Regional Municipality) for instance. (No one cares about your local politics former self, even if it's all true.)

Apparently; all countries do is sing the song of peace and harmony of each other. (Suzy Sheep asked the question of what countries do by the way.) Which is carny talk for: you co-exist with each other. We sing the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM, and while I like the song, it's so hilariously naive in hindsight, especially for what is to come. (Yeah, it also doesn't help that peace means death to me in hindsight.) Madame Gazelle finishes the song and informs everyone that they'll be singing this to their parents. Okay. Everyone goes to the playground, which has become one of the best playgrounds I have ever seen. (Well for this show anyway.) There is one thing awesome about this episode: The narrator knew this episode was going to be crap; and he held little back in this one. Narrator moment number one: Freddy gets on the slide and the narrator basically proclaims that the United Kingdom is on the slide. This joke is before Brexit was even a thing and it's even funnier now than it was back when the episode aired. The only way this could have been funnier is if Pedro was on the slide first. (Ouch, that is one awesome sick burn on Trump supporters and Donald Trump in general there former self!) Don't worry Pedro haters; you're going to hate him soon enough. Peppa and Candy are on the swings, and Rebecca is playing hopstoch. In the sandpit are Pedro, Richard, Edmond and George. (I should point out that the narrator is not calling the kids by name, but the names of the countries. Treating countries like human beings, even in democracies is not a good idea. However, they are clueless anthros, so it does make for high comedy. The narrator is just carrying this episode kicking and screaming towards average. Let's see if the narrator succeeds.) Okay; here comes Problem number five: Pedro represents America, and he is a cowboy stereotype. That in itself is not bad until you realize that the stereotype Pedro is about to play is that of an ugly American. Now; ironically George being Russian makes sense now in this setup on itself; but the reason I wanted him to be Canadian and Peppa be British is that Canada's roots are from Great Britian and Canada is considered a major international player on the world stage. In this setup, Richard is Spain and Edmond is Greece, whom no longer are major international players. I would have George be Canadian, Edmond be Russian and Richard be China; because those are the major players against America, just like America.

Suzy and Zoe come in and they are reasonable in their request to play in the sandpit; as Pedro is whining and the little ones bawl their eyes out. Narrator moment number two: As this is going on, the narrator proclaims that there is not enough in the sandpit for more than four countries. (Even though Suzy and Zoe could just play on Pedro's side. What, is there such a thing as boy cooties, now?! This is so stupid, however the narrator saves it again!) That was legit funny. Dammit; this is suppose to be the worst episode of the series and the narrator is making sure that this episode grows on me. (No former self, this was far from the worst episode in the series. Not even close.) Emily and Peppa come in and I cannot buy Peppa as a peacemaker; I really cannot. Emily on the other hand... The kids bicker like gangbusters and in a way, this did in fact make sense since countries do in fact bicker, so there is some grounding in reality; but this is a cartoon, so this is still stupid either way. Just because it's reality doesn't mean it's not stupid. I love how Peppa calls George little despite representing one of the biggest countries in the world. (Not only that, this was all on Pedro Pony, since there is clearly room on his side. Yes, the ugly American starts up shit and the other country is to blame. Vampire Putin would have been proud of this. I would like to say that this was the moment Pedro Pony became Pedro Fucking Pony, but that is still coming soon...) Freddy comes in to blow the whistle and then everyone bickers...AGAIN! (Freddy Fox also cuts the same promo that Officer Panda and Officer Grey Squirrel would cut starting in Series Five!) This is so stupid; and the costume wearing is just making this look a lot more offensive than it should be. Jump cut to Madame Gazelle playing guitar and singing in the school house as she hears all the yelling. She comes out and claims that the countries are fighting. Nope; they are yelling at each other, which isn't much better. Being accurate in reporting matters, Madame Gazelle; it's a moral imperative. Everyone is out of the sandbox.Candy Cat is the only one who wants them to stop arguing and all that does is allow Peppa to really troll Suzy. (Candy Cat represents Switzerland, who was considered netural and a peacemaker until the Ukraine/Russian war a year ago. I'm guessing the Swiss have now accepted that the Venn Diagram of the words "peace" and "death" is a complete circle at this point. Oh, and she joins Peppa in the next shot to kill the gimmick, just like the real life country did. This show predicted the future.)

Peppa is such a hypocrite by the way as more bickering ensues and Madame Gazelle finally tells them to sod off with this realism. Because we are doing this peace and harmony thing as an ideal for the adults of the world; not trying to prove that their reality is correct. I wish Madame Gazelle had just said that instead of asking them if this is how the countries of the world act. The answer is yes, Madame Gazelle to the question. It doesn't make it right; but what I said is true. Facts matter, especially if you want to solve this bickering. I wish Peppa would just say yes because this would be one of the few times where her trolling would be based on reality and nor her idealism. Madame Gazelle said no, which is a lie. The kids all apologize, which is fine because it still ain't right. In comes Mummy Rabbit, Mummy Dog, Daddy Pig, Mummy Elephant, Mr. Fox, Mummy Wolf, Mummy Sheep, Mummy Pony and Mr. Zebra. Mummy Pig must be typing coded letters in her office today. Daddy Pig asks if everything is all right and Madame Gazelle has the lying teeth smile on full blast as she says it's not too bad. In a way; she's right. There was bickering and tears; but no violence or even rage, which is an average day in the United Nations actually. Madame Gazelle brings out the guitar and we sing the Day of Harmony song again as there is a lot of swaying and eye balling each other. The song ends and the parents pop for it. Daddy Pig loves this togetherness as the kids giggle on cue and we get the narrator saying that the kids love singing the song of harmony. Narrator moment number three: All the countries of the world love to sing the song of peace and harmony. That is the biggest load of bullshit from the narrator and so absurd that I was laughing my ass off. Most of the countries are singing something all right; singing more in the lines of death heavy metal and other such dark and violent music. This episode finally ends with the kids giggling because they know this is bullshit at 4:30 approx. You know what; I take back everything I said about this episode being the worst of the series: It's sort of bad, but it was hilariously stupid instead of being offensively stupid like I was expecting this to be. Pedro's act was there; but it was subtle that it didn't kill his character off like I thought it would when I saw the clips to this. Call it ** (40%), because hell, I'm generous. The narrator and some of the booking saved this from a certain DUD bordering on negative stars. (The rating stays as is, but this is a **** on the trainwreck scale just for the narrator alone and the absolute lack of self awareness from the creative team.)

The Rainy Day Game: Here is episode #166 on the animation paper as we begin with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM as it's raining. If you cannot guess the final spot of the episode; you have no business reading this rant. (Not only that, they use a sped up version of the Muddy Puddle's opening sequence!) We zoom into the kitchen at the table with the Pig family as Mummy Pig is reading a dancing magazine called EZZA while Daddy Pig reads the newspaper. (Where did you get the notion that it was a dancing magazine since the picture is a vase filled with flowers?! What were you on when you wrote that former self?!) Peppa and George complain about the rain as Daddy loves rain since it makes muddy puddles. DING! So, ten seconds in; they aren't even hiding the payoff to this episode. (Peppa and George were drinking juice, which the glasses only have straws left, while Daddy and Mummy Pig drank tea which are still full.) Peppa wants to do it now and opens the door; teasing to go out; but Mummy Pig cuts her off and they go back inside. Peppa asks when the rain will stop and they decide to listen to the out of nowhere aqua green radio on the kitchen counter. I have no idea who voices the radio announcer and IMDB isn't helping me in that regard. (I'm going to take a wild guess that it's Doctor Pony, since it sounds similar to him.) I'm guessing all day as the announcer proclaims that it'll rain all day and Peppa and George groan on cue. Daddy Pig plans to have the rainy day game; hence the episode title. Peppa asks what it is and we head into the bathroom as he demonstrates the game with a rubber duckie on the rim of the bathtub. It's basically hide and seek with international objects. Peppa picks George to go first because she thinks this game is too easy, you see. Daddy Pig goes into Peppa and George's room and I believe he hides the rubber duckie in the toy basket because I see him stop at the toy basket. Well; he doesn't as it's on top of the book shelf in between the upside down car and glass of colored pencils. LOOK WITH YOUR EYES~! WARMER~! He finds it and everyone pops. Peppa blows this off because she saw it straight away; so this game is too easy.

Mummy Pig sees this as a dare and it's Peppa's turn now. Mummy gets to hide the rubber duckie and she's hidden it in the kitchen somewhere. Peppa is confident that she'll see it straight away. Mummy Pig calls for the family as they all come into the kitchen. I can see straight away that the rubber duckie is in the fruit bowl on the kitchen table. (It's also ten am on the clock, so it's been one hour in Peppa Pig time.) Peppa I think calls it a rabbid duckie; just to make this even more obvious now. (Nope, she pronounced it properly here. Although, I shudder to think what she'll call it in Peppa Pig Tales now.) Of course; Peppa looks in the wrong places because her cockiness is showing up full blast. Peppa now has to ask for a clue and since she said please; Mummy Pig claims that it's sitting on something with yellow around it. Ten seconds later; Peppa sees the rubber duckie and grabs it. Peppa squeezes the rubber duckie and wants to play this game again. Round three is Daddy Pig hiding the rubber duckie in the living room and this time, Peppa and George can tag team to find the rubber duckie. Oh; and when we head inside, we clearly see the rubber duckie is on top of Daddy Pig's head. It's almost like he's doing this just to be silly; instead of making it challenging. I should note that in Britian; the living room is called the sitting room. The kids all run in and they cannot find it; and George's "no" is always a hoot to hear. I think Peppa needs to remember the pitfalls of over-confidence. (The fact that George is looking to his right the entire time indiates that he knows where it is and is just trolling Peppa now. Great!) They give up in two tries as Peppa wishes for a clue and Daddy Pig's clue is that it's on something big and wise. I was hoping Peppa comes over and thinks it's his big tummy; and then discover that it's not. Sadly; Mummy Pig gave it away and Peppa notices the rubber duckie on his head. Oh; and apparently; the window has been moved to behind the television, just to inform us that the sun is shining. Which means the rainy day game is heading to it's logical conclusion: Everyone gets their boots on and heads outside, because it's the game that gets everyone in this show out of trouble: Jumping up and down in muddy puddles. DING! After some G-rated foreplay; we find the muddy puddle and everyone jump up and down in said muddy puddle to end the episode at 4:30. This is one spot I don't mind them overkilling; because it always brings such joy to me. Seeing Peppa get schooled in the rainy day game is glorious, too. **** (80%).

Mummy Rabbit's Bump: This is episode #167 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the house on the hill as Peppa, George, Suzy and Pedro Pony are jumping up and down giggling. (I have come to the realization that the kids are jumping up and down because they are practicing their puddle jumping skills. If this was intentional on creative, great. If it's not, they need to work it!) Here comes Mr. Rabbit with Mummy Rabbit, Rebecca Rabbit and Richard Rabbit as they jump out of the car. Rebecca and Richard come over to the kids. Rebecca has an earth-shattering secret to tell us and if you live in an area where the Moral Guardians live and they get easily triggered, then we got trouble. Because, you see; Mummy Rabbit has a bump on her tummy. This is in poor taste, but the first question I would ask is: "Does she have stomach cancer?"; although Rebecca Rabbit probably wouldn't know. Peppa does ask the next poorest taste thing: " Is she is eating too much?!" (See, Peppa isn't afraid of body shaming a woman either.) Rebecca says no, which means only one thing: Mummy Rabbit is about to have a third child -- at least; you'll find out later -- really soon. Peppa also is allowed to listen to Mummy's tummy and we hear heart beats dubbed into the audio tracks. Apparently; this bunny rabbit somehow knows Peppa is a troll and gives a kick to back up Peppa. HAHA! Pedro asks who the baby's name is and Mummy Rabbit has not decided on that, as Mummy Pig comes outside and asks if Mummy Rabbit wants some coffee. That's really odd. Mummy Rabbit says no; but she is hungry so Mummy Pig asks if she wants a carrot and Mummy Rabbit says no. She wants potatoes with jelly, strawberry jam and cheese. I stand corrected. Potatoes and cheese aren't odd; but jelly and strawberry jam on top?! Mummy Rabbit does have a quirky sense of taste. I cannot find a potatoes with jelly and/or jam and cheese recipe; but there is a Potato Peanut Butter & Jelly Candy recipe on-line though. The kids are all yuck on this and the narrator calls this a funny mixture of food while being shocked all at the same time. (Oh sod off kids, you are the same who think kissing at a wedding is gross!) We waste a lot of time with the kids coming up with baby names as Mummy Pig and Mummy Rabbit go inside with Mr. Rabbit.

Possible names: Rachel Rabbit, Ruth Rabbit (Paging Doctor Ruth, paging Doctor Ruth!! Sadly, Ruth Westheimer passed away almost a month before I wrote this additional commentary.) and Roxanne Rabbit. Pedro Pony thinks these RR names are boring, so he wants the rabbit family to go the George Pig route and name her Sharon Rabbit. How about Kit Rabbit? Then you don't have to worry about gender. (Not really a good idea given how this episode finishes.) The kids blow Pedro off as Peppa calls Sharon Rabbit wrong. (Nameist!) Rebecca wants Rosie Rabbit and blushes, because why not?! Pedro then asks if the baby is a boy. Better question; what if the baby is trans-gender? I would love to see them twist themselves in knots over that, even if they are kids. (Not really, you can have trans boys and trans girls. It depends on what the person identifies as such gender.) The boy names: Rufus Rabbit, Raymond Rabbit, and Pedro chooses Michael Rabbit. HAHA! Pedro gets blown off as Rebecca chooses Robbie Rabbit. Of course! (Yes, the girls got four possible names with RR while the boys only got three names.) Out of the house comes Mummy Pig, Mummy Rabbit and Mr. Rabbit as Mummy Rabbit's tummy is kicking violently this time. Mr. Rabbit thinks it's the food and Mummy Rabbit tells him no, it's the baby. Also; Peppa says that the baby can't have both names. Are you sure about that?! Changing your name is possible, Peppa. Although the baby would have to wait until the baby reached the age of eighteen in the UK. (Although it's possible to do it under the age of eighteen with more strict rules.) Mr. Rabbit panics; which is hilarious when he tells everyone to not panic as the Rabbit family gets into the car and races far past the speed limit onto the boring road since the ears are whipping in the wind. Mummy Rabbit asks Mr. Rabbit if everything is packed on the list and here is what the list contains: pillows, scented candles, yoga music, and enough food for three days. (I think Mr. Rabbit meant "polka music", but there is such a thing as "yoga music".) I have been to hospital and the only thing I had was my Nintendo 3DS and even that was taken home every time by my family. Sixty-five days everyone. We park on the steepest side of the hill next to the hospital and Mr. Rabbit just proves how hypocritical he is. By panicking while screaming "Don't panic!". Stop panicking, Mr. Rabbit~!

The nurse comes outside and guess who is the nurse?! Miss Rabbit! (Job #199) I know this because Miss Rabbit addresses Mummy Rabbit as her sister. Miss Rabbit also forgets that Mummy Rabbit is having a baby as we head inside; but Mr. Bull -- and you thought Miss Rabbit was the only one with the multiple jobs gimmick -- cuts off Mr. Rabbit because he has to park the car in the parking lot. (Job #6 for Mr. Bull.) Mr. Bull says that baby making is a long process. No crap, Sherlock! Mummy Rabbit and family are inside as Miss Rabbit just has to announce to everyone that Mummy Rabbit is having a baby. Jump cut to Mr. Rabbit unpacking the back of the car, which also includes towels and a kettle. Of course! Jump cut to Mr. Rabbit running in with the stuff as we are now in Mummy Rabbit's hospital room as Mummy Rabbit is in bed and she tells him to put everything back, because the "baby" is already born. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I realize that this is partly as a result of the fast pacing of the show since the episodes are less than five minutes long. Still -- even with the jump cuts -- by god, that was fast! Even funnier: Mr. Rabbit drops his stuff and asks if it's a boy or girl, and it's both because she got twins of different sexes. We see the boy and girl baby rabbits tucked in the towels and they are bawling their eyes out seconds into their official debut. Which is fine, because they are new born babies! They cannot help; but cry. The family is so happy that we jump cut to the family on top of their house with the baby buggy containing the new borns. This is fine in itself; but the narrator says that this is literally the next morning. Wait, what?! The average hospital stay is 48-96 hours; but the narrator makes it like it's twelve hours. In Great Britian; it's 36 hours at least. You couldn't redub this line?! Peppa, George, Suzy and Pedro arrive to see the kids as Suzy asks about gender. They exchange notes as Rosie and Robbie are name that are used. Peppa calls them the best names in the world. According to the Guardian: Rosie was ranked #48 and Robbie didn't even place in the top one hundred. Robert was #96 at the time. Harry was number one for boys and Amelia was number one for girls. In 2023; Rosie wasn't in the top one hundred, Robbie didn't even place in the top one hundred; and neither did Robert. Noah and Olivia were number one by the way. (This also applies in 2024 as well.) So, yeah; Peppa hates statstics. Peppa and the kids take credit for this and they laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. I loved this episode by the way; stupid ending aside. (The ending credits featured a little teapot music complete with Rosie and Robbie crying like Baby Alexander and then making other baby noise. That deserves an extra 1/4* and so it's **** 1/2 (90%). By the way: While in the mainline series, Rosie and Robbie did nothing, Peppa Pig Tales does have an awesome sequence in the Carrot Catcher episode with Rosie and Robbie! It's glorious!)

Pedro The Cowboy: Last up is episode #168 on the animation paper as the title gets a western motif makeover! (You know this is going to be a special kind of episode when that happens!) We open the episode at the western house on the hill which contains a tent in the backyard. (I believe this is the debut of Pedro Pony's house, which is basically the brown house on the hill with red roof.) Out of the tent comes Pedro Pony in his cowboy outfit. It's his new tent by the way as in comes from the eastern front: Peppa, George, Suzy, Danny and Wendy Wolf. Pedro meets and greets; doing the most awkward cowboy gimmick I have ever seen out of a child. Pedro calls this a cowboy camp and Suzy calls this a tent. (Wah-wah. I howled with laughter as Suzy kills the gimmick within seconds. Danny Dog gave her eye contact violence while ahead of her, too!) Pedro don't care, it's a cowboy camp. At least cowboy camp fits Pedro's gimmick; so whatever, Suzy. (Are you expecting anything else from Suzy "I cannot suspend my disbelief despite loving magic" Sheep, former self?!) Peppa asks if he is going to sleep in the tent and Pedro says no, because he's a cowardly cowboy. Why does that not surprise me?! (I laughed at that one, too; especially since he said it in hilariously awkward fashion.) Of course; Pedro has to convince everyone that the sun is the moon and they all agree, because why not?! Peppa asks if they can be cowboys and Pedro says "yes". Pedro calling them his partners and they all sit down right on the cue when Mummy Pony opens the door. Pedro cannot do cowboy speak to save his life nor his brain. The other kids do it lots better as Mummy Pony walks back into the house. (I also laughed at this one, too. The kids are just burying Pedro's gimmick and they aren't even trying. Pedro's cowboy gimmick is just failing before our eyes and it's hilarious!) Wendy asks about if all cowboys do their camping next to the kitchen and Pedro denies it, of course. (Told ya he's hamming up the cowardly cowboy gimmick, if you know what I mean. I'll get my coat...) Pedro wants them to pretend that this is the wild west.

Pedro wants kids to suspend their disbelief, even though they aren't supposed to be able to in the first place. (Hey, at least most of the kids are trying, except for Suzy Sheep of course. Suzy's a lost cause at this point.) Pedro explains the scrubbed up version of the wild west, and I mean; it's really scrubbed for pre-schoolers. Pedro claims that all cowboys do is sing songs, tell bullshit stories and eat beans on toast. (Outside of the beans on toast and songs, he's Monteray Jack without the cheese addiction and isn't from Australia. Also funny.) Which is the snack Mummy Pony gives on a plate when she returns from the kitchen. Sod off ,narrator! Not everyone loves beans on toast, especially me! (Still don't. Love toasted cheese sandwiches though. Also, there was western music playing in the background, which is the perfect setup for Pedro's moment of immortality on this show) After messing up their faces and it magically comes off via the magic of a jump cut; Pedro gets up with the out of nowhere guitar because he is going to sing a song. (Uh-oh! Here we go, Pedro Pony is about to become Pedro Fucking Pony...) Okay; I'm crying again. I was sobbing with laughter watching this the first time: Pedro Pony's song is called the "Baked Bean Song". Okay, fine. He then plays his guitar and starts singing the "Baked Bean Song". If you have watched this show regularly since Series Two I do believe, then the music he plays on the guitar should be familiar to you:

Pedro Pony: ♫ I'm a brave cowboy and I'm eating my beans with a bing and a bong and boo..♫
♫ Baked beans bang, baked beans boo, baked beans bingerly bongerly bang! ♫
The Children: ♫ Baked beans bang, baked beans boo, baked beans bingerly bongerly bang! ♫

Yes folks; Pedro Fucking Pony is basically singing the Bing Bong Song -- complete with karaoke -- only with a Baked Bean motif to it. He stole Madame Gazelle's song and then perverted it into a western. Fuck you, Pedro -- just fuck you -- you vile, ugly, American, clueless, cowboy wearing, music thief~! (Listen, I know you wrote this a long time ago, but your hilarious disgust for this "thievery" would have been a lot more effective if Madame Gazelle didn't steal a song from Ben & Holly's Magical Kingdom! That was far more horrible than Pedro singing a western version of the Bing Bong Song. Besides, you don't know if Gazelle didn't give him permission to do this song anyway. I howled with laughter! This put Pedro over the top as a clueless putz!) Kids giggle because they are too young to understand copyright law much less cowboy law, which is lawless by the way. Everyone into the tent for the story of doom! (Which was Wendy Wolf's idea.) Now, Pedro is trying to avoid copyright infringement in his storytelling after infringing heavily on Madame Gazelle's Bing Bong song earlier. I just cannot believe this. (BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Listen, as much as your disgust is unwarranted, this next segment really put it over the top! We have our third full monty episode right there!) Suzy is confused; but Wendy thankfully cleared up any confusion. (Hint: Pedro begins with the words "wet and windy night".)

Of course, this has to have Pedro as the star, probably the only time Peppa would let Pedro get away with it; since Pedro's storytelling is marginally better than his cowboy speaking skills. Hint: Peppa is literally filling the blanks to cue in for Pedro. Then we hear flapping and Suzy panics; which causes everyone to scream and go outside the tent. Oh wait, it's the seed eating brown bird of doom. The brown bird tweets and flies away stage left as Pedro calls it an eagle. Pedro apparently was born in America, or his parents at least were. Surprisely; Pedro's playing the role of ugly American a lot more than his parents. Speaking of one of the parents, out comes Mummy Pony to inform everyone that it's home time. Pedro whines because they haven't done the pretend sleeping yet. HAHA! Everyone except Mummy Pony gets into the tent! (They also play the opening sequence music on the harmonia.) Pretend sleeping is in progress as then we hear a wolf howl and everyone is hanging on Pedro Pony, scared and panicky. Then Wendy stops selling because we cut to outside as Daddy Wolf is outside howling at the moon in his car. HAHA! All the parents come in because it's HAPPY HOUR and they pick up all the kids. Mummy Pony asks Pedro if he wants to come in and Pedro wants to pretend sleep a little longer. Mummy Pony is fine with this as Pedro gets in the tent. An owl perches on the tent and hoots. Literally six seconds after Pedro got into the tent, Pedro gets out of the tent and wants to come in as Mummy Pony opens the door while he's saying this. Mummy saw this coming a mile away. Also funny. So Pedro comes inside and turns off the lights in his bedroom to end the episode at 4:30 approx. The ending credits do the theme song with a western themed guitar solo and that was also funny. This is one of the funniest episodes of the series and one of the best Pedro Pony episodes ever. (This was the best Pedro episode ever and it's on Naughty Tortoise's level of hilariously awesomeness. You know what this episode is getting. ***** (100%).)

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; I'm actually happy that International Day turned out the way it ultimately did. No; I still think the episode sucks; however, it is no where near the worst episode of the series. Yes; the costume wearing was a bad idea. Yes, Pedro's ugly American routine was ugly; but Pedro's routine was subtle and the bickering basically swamped it down a lot. Also; the realism was pretty good for the most part and the narrator was at his cheekist in this one from the moment Britian was on the slide. This episode was completely stupid; but it was mostly hilariously stupid, rather than offensively stupid. It would have been even better if they weren't dressed up like stereotypes; though. (I still think it's below average, but it's a funny trainwreck so I'll live.) Pedro The Cowboy was the best Pedro Pony focused episode ever. Sure; he's clueless and awkward, but he was awesome at it, right down to stealing Madame Gazelle's Bing Bong Song. Mummy Rabbit's Bump was also great and it's always nice that a show (pre-school no less) is not afraid to really tells us where babies really come from. Sure; we didn't see the baby come out of Mummy Rabbit; but so what?! At least they didn't do the stupid stork angle and "mana from heaven" angle and we knew where the newborns were. The Rainy Day Game was also a banger, just to see Peppa get schooled by her parents for being overconfident and of course the payoff. The New House was also great in introducing the Wolf family and their gimmick made them instant stars, although Wendy Wolf wasn't as big of a star as Mandy Mouse would turn out to be. Naughty Tortoise was the best episode in the pre-Golden Boots era, even surpassing Swimming due to Suzy Sheep just doing the best trolling job in the history of pre-school shows and Miss Rabbit doing a golden shovel job on literally everyone, making me laugh my ass like nobody's business. Overall; this was a much better than expected start to Series Four and I feel relieved that International Day turned out to be better than I expected it to be. So...

Thumbs up for Naughty Tortoise, Mummy Rabbit's Bump, Pedro The Cowboy, The Rainy Day Game and The New House. Thumbs down for International Day, thumbs in the middle for everything else and I'll see you all next time.

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