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Peppa Pig: The Golden Boots DVD Rant

Reviewed: 01/20/2018

They Have Totally Given Up! Everyone Has Totally Given Up!

Welcome to the final DVD set of Peppa Pig! YAY! So; in this set, we deal with toy horses, lots of boats, Captain Daddy Dog debuts, The Kangaroo Family debuts, Grampy Rabbit's moon adventure, shadows, a desert island, a fish pond surrounded by blackberry bushes and then the grand finale: A muddy puddle jumping contest while Mrs. Duck gets her revenge on Peppa for feeding her all that bread throughout this show and bleaching her feathers white. And that 15 minute special is screwed up six ways from Sunday as it has become clear that the creators were really starting to run out of ideas! I was going to add "London" and "Simple Science"; but I couldn't find any videos on them (Well; not exactly. London I found, but it's completely out of sync and I couldn't find Simple Science at all; although I did find the money shot visual of Daddy Pig testing the concrete on-line somewhere.). So, let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker, Philip Hall and Sam Morrison. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Horsey Twinkletoes: We begin this final DVD set with episode #161 on the animation paper; and we begin this one on the house on the hill. Zoom into the bedroom of the kids as Peppa Pig is having tea with Teddy; like a Z-grade Teddy Bear's Picnic; while George is playing with Mr. Dinesaur. George wrecks the picnic and Peppa blows him off for it, ordering him to stay on the western side of the bedroom. She draws an invisible line and tells George to not cross this damn line. Then the doorbell rings; and Peppa crosses her own line. Yeah. George follows her down the stairs because the post has arrived (mail in North America). The door at the lobby opens and it's Mr. Zebra as Daddy Pig is also there taking letters; none of them for the kids (as per Peppa asking). But; wait! Mr. Zebra brings in a giant box with a lot of stamps and warning stickers; because it has been mailed from a long ways away. Daddy Pig literally thinks that it's the reinforced concrete he bought; because in storyline, Daddy Pig has an obsession with concrete and dear god; is he going to live to regret it when Simple Science ended! Mr. Zebra leaves as Daddy Pig checks the label and it is for Peppa and George as Peppa cheers. Cut to inside the kitchen as Mummy Pig is at the table reading an EZZA magazine. I need to find out where to buy this magazine and see what the love is for this magazine. The kids and Daddy Pig come in and put the box down to show to Mummy. Daddy Pig finds a white letter and opens it; and it's basically a gift from Auntie Dottie; who lives in another country. I'm certain we will meet her sometime in Series 5; but who knows. So Daddy Pig opens the box and brings out what appears to be a piece of wood on wheels; like a skate. Mummy Pig finds the lower body of what appears to be the parts of a wooden horse carriage on wheels. Peppa and George argue about the horse's name as Peppa wants to call it Twinkle Toes and George wants to call it horsey. Daddy and Mummy Pig remind them that the gift is for both of them, thus they must share. Which means selfish assholes and scoiopaths cannot get away fast enough from this episode. Peppa wants to ride the horse carriage first; but Mummy Pig denies that since George is the youngest. A lot of ageism is present in this deal. George shakes the horsey as Peppa blows him off for calling it that; because it's Twinkletoes. This is somehow enough for Peppa to get to play with the carriage now.

This is so stupid as George barely touched the poor thing. Peppa is going on about being Princess Peppa with her horse Twinkletoes as she pulls the carriage behind her and it knocks over all the conveniently placed, out of nowhere recycling bins. Of course! Mummy Pig tells her to play with the horse outside and Peppa is delighted to do so; and she doesn't clean up with Mummy Pig and company as we jump cut to outside with Daddy Pig as he puts the horse buggy down and then gets on it since playing it on the steepest side of the hill is a bad idea; so he's going to ride the damn thing down the hill. Even Peppa is questionning this absurdly horrible idea and Daddy Pig tells her to relax. This is one good reason to always stay woke. Daddy Pig is dumb and reckless. But thankfully; there is the duck pond conveniently placed and somehow Daddy Pig manages to sploosh into the duck pond and somehow, the horse carriage does not follow him and stopped right on a dime. That's like Jake Roberts DDT'ing Mr. Fuji and somehow Fuji's hat doesn't dislodge from his head. Somehow; the ducks didn't get crushed either as Daddy Pig pops from the pond and one of the ducks is right on top of his head. Peppa is giddy over this as Daddy Pig manages to get out of the pond with the duck still on his head. He is in complete denial of any splashing involved when Mummy Pig walks in wondering what is going on. Mummy Pig is not buying what Daddy Pig is selling; so Daddy Pig confesses and they all giggle as George finally jumps on horsey and horsey is no selling any progress, forwards nor backwards. Daddy wonders if anyone wants to push the horsey and Peppa decides to be the pusher as we see Peppa push the horse carriage with George on it and then they argue about the name...AGAIN! Then Peppa stops and realizes that since they share the carriage; it's called Horsey Twinkletoes. Okay. Peppa pushes the carriage around the duck pond as everyone giggles and quacks to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Daddy Pig being dumb on a plastic horse was hilarious; the rest was fine. *** 1/4 (65%).

Shadows: So, we head to Episode #164 and open with a shot of the house on the hill as Peppa, George and Rebecca Rabbit (with spotted bouncy ball) run down the hill to play in the fields. So; they are playing "Piggy In The Middle" which was a game they played in Series 1. Maybe; when I'm done with this DVD set; I'll start ranting on some of the Series 1 episode in order that I missed from the first DVD set. George of course is the piggy in the middle, because he's dumb and proves it even more by trying to catch the shadow, which Peppa blows off as silly and demonstrates the art of shadows as George tries to walk away from his shadow; which is an epic fail. Rebecca claims that you have to run away from your shadow and Peppa tries to do that; that was an epic fail. In comes Suzy Sheep on her purple scooter as Suzy's voice is much different than usual, as she rationally explains that no one can run away from their shadow. At least for five seconds; because she tries to ride away from her shadow with her scooter, that was an epic fail, too. In comes Doctor Elephant, Emily Elephant and Edmond Elephant as Doctor Elephant is roaring with his trunk. Mr. Elephant of course is pointing out that running away from the shadow is impossible and he demonstrates his point nicely in spite of Suzy's commands to run faster. Emily claims that his shadow is so big that it's slowing him down; which is funny by the way. So Edmond basically gets out the educational lines of the episode about how solid bodies bounce off sunlight to create shadows underneath and we have to be reminded again that Edmond is a clever clogs complete with trunk blowing. Everyone giggles and then Suzy proclaims that there is a giant shadow among our mists as it's built to be scary (by pre-school standards of course); but Doctor Elephant blows it off because we zoom out and it's a giant...cloud. The one Kit would love to ski on. Edmond has the smartass mouth again as he properly id's the cloud, because he's a clever clogs as per the narrator. Then we show the shadows getting longer and they are in awe. That's because the sun is setting; which takes exactly ten seconds before it's after dark; and now the shadow is gone. Or in reality; there is no light present so the shadow is basically infinite. I'm surprised Edmond didn't correct anyone on that. Maybe he isn't such a clever clogs after all. So Daddy Pig calls for Peppa and George to come in for bed time; the kids all wave goodbye and bail towards their homes.

So we head to Peppa and George's bedroom as the kids are tucked in for the night. Peppa is complaining about losing her shadow as Mummy Pig rightfully points out that electrical lights do suffice in making shadows as demonstrated by Mummy Pig's shadow clearly being shown on the floor. And under the bunk beds, too. So we make shadow puppets for a while; as Mummy Pig makes a bird shadow puppet and it tweets, so this is a prototype logo for Twitter. Or not. Peppa Pig makes a spider called Mr. Skinnylegs; which I betcha was cut in the Australian broadcasts and if it's not, then banning Mr. Skinnylegs makes them look like hypocrites in hindsight, since the whole point of banning it was that it glorified spiders as not dangerous, when in Australia, they mostly are. George makes the most complicated shadow in history; which is a dinesaur (sic) of course. HAHA! It was silly; not scary as it's time for the lights out as it's good night to the kids and the shadows. Zoom out to a shot on the house on the hill to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Not much to see here; but what we saw was fun, so ** 1/2 (50%).

Kylie Kangaroo: So, here is Episode #171 on the animation paper as the episode opens on the house on the hill as a white camper drives up the western hill and parks on a slanted side of the hill; but it's not steep enough to be the steepest, so it's less annoying. Out comes three kangeroo furries as this show is starting to feel like a pre-school TaleSpin/Zootopia love in at this point. Daddy Kangeroo is wearing all green, Mummy Kangeroo is wearing a yellow dress with a pounch on it; which is kind of silly, with blue boots on and our main focus of the episode is Kylie Kangeroo, a girl kangeroo with a purple dress and blue boots. Since they are wearing boots on; you should be able to guess the final spot of the episode without me telling you. Mr. Kangeroo is voiced by Alexander Armstrong here and is expected to be voiced by Tony Byrne in Series 5. Tony's resume is as follows: The Girl Who Came Late in 1992 as Auctioneer, which was a typecast role since he did the same gimmick for Heartbreak High and G.P. later on. He was a Captain in Home & Away, Cruiser Owner in Water Rats, Cop#1 in Wilfred and is also involved in the upcoming Sibling Rivalry movie. That's all. Mummy Kangeroo is voiced by Morweena Banks here and will be voiced by Elise Greig in Series 5. She's the beloved of Tony Byrne and has worked on All Saints (Felicity Sanders) in 2000, then Blurred (Prono Star Voice), Cubbyhouse, The People, Mortified (Radio Caller, Dr. Speck), The Underdog's Tale (Doreen), East Of Everything (Woman Manager), Storage (Maria) and Schapelle (Airline Lawyer). That's it. Kylie Kangeroo is voiced by Macey Danger here and Finley Grieg-Byrne. Finley's only appearance is Peppa Pig. I have zero information on Marcey though. They have a son named Joey; who isn't going to be seen on the show until Series 5 and he's voiced by Jazlyn Jago and this show is his only appearance. Mr. Kangeroo rings the doorbell and the door opens to reveal Daddy Pig for the meet and greet. Apparently; they met at an airport and Daddy Pig promised they could meet again at Daddy Pig's house. Daddy Pig acts like he has no idea what Mr. Kangeroo is talking about.

Mummy Kangeroo pats her pouch; so Joey is inside of it, which is sort of creepy in fact. Kylie and Peppa meet and greet and Kylie's animal noise sounds like someone clicking their tongue. Everyone has their boots on; so yeah. Joey also clicks his tongue when he's in Mummy Kangeroo's pouch. Mr. Kangeroo brings out a cooler of lemonade in cans and brings out lawn chairs for the Pig family to sit down. Well; the adults anyway. Thankfully; this is the softest lemonade ever. Daddy Pig is always hungry; so Mr. Kangeroo bails and returns with a BBQ as he turns it on as Mummy Kangeroo brings in corn on the cob and apparently in this world; the skins are yellow in color instead of light green. Daddy Pig continues his creditability streak by claiming that they should do this at home and then realizing on the zoom out shot that they are home. Daddy Pig is dumb. The kids decide to run down the hill to the garden because it's time to jump up and down in muddy puddles. DING! Kylie loves jumping; but they have to find a muddy puddle and there is none in sight. Kylie wishes it would rain and Mummy Pig is all "NO! Don't let it rain!". Muimmy Kangeroo loves rain; but they don't get much back in their country. Daddy Pig is also a quack in claiming that having a BBQ makes it rain and have a hearty laugh in the process. So back to the kids as they have a jumping contest. George barely can get his feet off the ground, Peppa jumps about two feet in the air and Kylie jumps higher than Grampy Rabbit on the moon. I'm not joking about that last one either. George and Peppa are in awe as Rebecca Rabbit comes in with her boots on. So we meet, greet and Rebecca's jump is about four feet in the air; but Kylie doesn't want to show off; but Peppa is the star, so thou must! Kylie jumps higher than the last jump. She has to be wearing springs in her boots; no way even a kangeroo jumps that high. They only jump like six feet; and that looks like 15!! Then Pedro Pony bounces in on his basketball. Speaking of showoffs without the two clicks in the making of a clue... and he cannot even get the "space hopper" off the ground. Peppa wants Kylie to show him and this is so pointlessly mean.

I mean; Pedro didn't even get off the ground with that thing! Come on, Peppa! Pedro cannot even jump higher than George on that thing; for goodness sakes. Since Peppa is the star; but thou must! Kylie jumps like 17 feet now and Pedro is in awe. Pedro tries to act like he was tired; but no one is fooled. FINALLY; it begins to rain hard and Pedro's selling was much better than his jumping. So Mummy Pig wants to go inside; because it's raining; but the Kangeroos love rain, you see. So out comes the giant blue umbrella as everyone goes under it and the kids all giggle. Everyone eats corn on the cob which has been BBQ'ed and steamed to perfection. I do take issue with "everyone loves corn on the cob" from the narrator: I don't like corn on the cob. Okay? So; the rain stops after they eat; so this rain literally lasted thirty seconds. Talk about unsettled weather; a staple of the Nova Scotia living diet! Everything is wet and muddy as everyone runs down the hill and Peppa demonstrates the fine art of jumping up and down in muddy puddles. DING! Kylie loves it and calls Peppa the best muddy puddle jumper ever. If only it were actually true. Everyone jumps up and down in muddy puddles, causing earthquakes to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was fun; outside of the hyerbole jumping by Kylie. And once again; Pedro Pony has been made to look like a dork for no reason. *** 1/4 (65%).

Captain Daddy Dog: So, we continue on with Episode #172 and the episode opens at the blue pirate house on the hill along with a zoom in shot to inside Danny Dog's bedroom as there is shaking and running occuring between Peppa, George, Danny, Suzy and Emily in which a sail boat is involved. Lots of giggling ensues as Danny is the sea captain with his model boat and everyone else are pirates, the most awkward sounding pirates I have ever heard. And then they run around in a disorganized fashion; like a Family Guy cartoon. The clown trumpets sounds; which is the signal for Mr. Zebra to arrive on his yellow post truck, parking on the steepest side of the hill, yet again. Out comes Mummy Dog; and I believe this is the first time for rant purposes that she spoke. Mr. Zebra gives her a post card and leaves as the kids come out of the house. Danny asks who it is from and it's from Captain Dog; who is Danny Dog's father. As mentioned before; Daddy Dog's gimmick is that he's a sailor and he's coming home soon since he has sailed around the world. Which by the way; this an amazing feat even in 2018! No surprise; the picture of the postcard has a sailboat on the ocean. Mummy Dog calls this exciting and wonders when he'll be back. Literally one second later; we see Captain Dog with his backpack walking up the hill passing by Mr. Zebra and waving to him. So yes; the postcard came literally a minute before he arrived. Even by Peppa Pig time; the mail is the slowest thing in this world. So we do the run in to meet and greet spot; and I was hoping Danny unintentionally headbutts Captain in the chest and they tumble down the hill; but BS&P isn't going to allow it, sadly. They hug as Danny Dog's tail is wagging so hard that it's more excited than Danny himself. Mummy Dog is so happy to see him and she and Daddy Dog hug as they are sweethearts. Danny asks how long this stay is going to last; and Daddy claims that it's forever, because he is retiring and unlike professional wrestling, a sea captain ALWAYS AHDERES to the stips. He made a fortune (YAY!)...and then lost it (HAHA!). So basically; adhering to the stips is a bad idea....and then made it again! (BWHAHAHA!)

The reactions to this are classic as we head inside the house with Daddy Dog putting his cap on the hook and heading to the living room as everyone follows him. They sit down on the floor as Daddy Dog sits on the couch. Apparently; he has been sailing the seven seas for 366 days! He sailed around a world that features no Antartica nor Arctic and apparently; this world is literally a circle; with no sense of the world being round; and no sense of gravity on the bottom half of the world. In other words; the world is round, but in this world, you can still fall off of it if you sail the bottom half of it. Daddy counters this by hanging onto the wheel of morality. Geez; I thought Flat Earthers were beyond the pale ridiculous?! Yup; he sailed upside down as we return to reality (are you kidding me?) as he has presents inside his duffel bag; for everyone. Danny Dog gets bongo drums from a faraway land and they are loud and they shake the earth. After seeing this earth; pig making earthquakes jumping into muddy sounds believable now. Danny bangs on the drum louder and Captain Dog kindly tells him to stop and Danny sells it. The rest get seashells and we do the spot about hearing the ocean with seashells. It's actually a myth; but the idea is not entirely ficitional; since it's basically known as Seashell Resonance. They should have booked Edmond for this scene and corrected Captain Dog here; that would have been a clever clogs moment for sure. So Mummy Pig gets a chest of jewels and gold coins; and Mummy Pig claims that this could come in handy; which is codeword for "paying the bills". Captain Dog relaxes and then a cock crows and it's early morning as Captain Dog walks out of the house and down the hill. Danny looks out the window as Daddy Dog checks the wind with his finger and tongue. Danny's not buying this because PROMISES~! Daddy admits that he misses his boat; but not the sea. That last half is BS; but the stips are the stips. However; Danny Dog wants to show his model boat on the television set in the living room; and shows it off to Daddy Dog. Daddy Dog is happy and Danny Dog offers Daddy to help him sail the model boat in the duck pond. All right, then.

So we head to the duck pond as the Pig Family, Elephant Family (minus Edmond) and the Sheep family with three boat already in the duck pond. In comes Danny Dog with his boat along with Mummy and Daddy Dog for the meet and greet. They get permission from Peppa Pig to launch the boat and then go into a long conversation as Danny is the first mate to Daddy Dog being the captain. Since it's a model boat; it doesn't violate the stipulations of his retirement; so this is perfectly okay. So, Danny Dog puts the boat into the water and it sails nicely. Captain Daddy Dog cuts a wicked promo as he laughs. Everyone then does the backsplash laugh as the narrator proclaims that everyone loves to sail across duck ponds. This narrator is going on me as we end the episode at 4:30 approx. I'm really digging this episode as Daddy Dog was in fact funny here and you know that he's going to violate his retirement stips at some point. **** 1/4 (85%).

The Little Boat: Time for Episode #190 as we open on the boring road with the Pig family and their car. They are going on a picnic, which Peppa loves I should note. So they park the car near a post with a ringing bell on it as the picnic spot is on the opposite side of a river. Daddy Pig rings the bell and out comes on the river, Grampy Rabbit and his wooden boat that appears to be more stable than his steel fishing boat. Ponder that for a moment. So the boat ports on the river bed and the kids and Mummy Pig get on board; but Daddy Pig cannot get on with the picnic basket, because there is no more room. Grampy promises to come back with Daddy Pig as he rows away stage right. Grampy sings the rowboat song of doom to waste time and apparently; you don't forget to scream when you see a crocodile. Okay; good to know. So they make it to the other side and everyone jumps off as we cut to Daddy Pig with the picnic basket, when suddenly the Wolf family appears. So Wendy and Mrs. Wolf are allowed on the boat; but not Daddy Pig nor Mr. Wolf due to lack of room. Grampy Pig rows away as we sing more songs about creeks and wolves and screaming. They make it to the other side as Wendy and Mrs. Wolf get off to meet and greet Peppa, George and Mummy Pig. They joining the picnic as we head back to Daddy and Mr. Wolf exchanging notes on the situation as moral guardians panic about the implications of wolves and pig living together in perfect harmony; like cats and dogs living together. Grampy arrives and they decide to sail Daddy Pig over to the other side; but Mr. Wolf and the picnic basket cannot get on. Then we get the most hilariously stupid decision ever: Daddy Pig and Mr. Wolf rowing the boat without Grampy Pig. Because, this means that Grampy Rabbit is on the western side of the river with the one thing they need to have the picnic: The picnic basket. So we get about a minute of Daddy Pig rowing the boat and blushing the entire time, which is also hilariously stupid. Mr. Wolf does absolutely nothing but say that he's hungry now; as if he's teasing to eat Daddy Pig because he's sweating like a hog. I'm shocked that Daddy Pig didn't blush when Peppa asked him about the picnic as we cut to Grampy Rabbit at the bell with the basket. I'm shocked that he hasn't eaten the swiss cheese in the basket; since loving cheese is his gimmick.

Daddy Pig rows back and gets out; hands the picnic basket to Grampy; Grampy gets into the boat and rows away, leaving Daddy Pig high and dry. Anyone surprised by this stupid moment say "I"? Yeah; I thought so. Grampy promises to come back and I betcha he won't because it's much funnier to screw Daddy Pig out of his lunch than to be a furry being. And the ducks arrive of course; just to annoy me some more. They also make Daddy Pig look dumber as they swim across the river to the picnic site. I should mention this now: Mrs. Wolf is voiced by Jen Pringle, who is mostly known as Alice Nimbletoes in Angelina Ballerina, Wendy Witch/Jen Elf in Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom, Lulu in Bananas In Pyjamas in 2013 and two guest appearances in The Wright Stuff and The Great Christmas Toy Giveaway. She also voices Granny Wolf and Mummy Mole. According to the Peppa Pig Wikia: She is also a continuity presenter on Milkshake!, which airs the show and the early-morning programming block for young children, and Shake!, the Sunday morning block for older children back in 2006. So the ducks arrive to annoy me as everyone notices; Mummy Pig offers a plate of cheese to Grampy Rabbit and everyone sits down for the picnic, just to make Daddy Pig look even dumber than usual. So they love food; including a Jello Fruitcake, strawberries and sandwiches as they all giggle; mostly at Daddy Pig's expense because he's been left out. Daddy Pig rings the bell and everyone ignores him as Peppa is feeding cake to the ducks; just to troll on Daddy Pig. Mummy Pig finally ends this stupid ignoring stuff and Grampy Pig rows over to Daddy Pig and Daddy Pig hops in and is brought over to the picnic. Everyone pops as there is barely any picnic left for Daddy Pig to eat. So Daddy Pig gets a plate of a half sandwich, the bottom skin of jello, a strawberry and a worm from the ducks. A normal man would have been pissed off; but Daddy Pig isn't a normal man as he thanks them anyway and everyone except the ducks do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. I'm tres disappointed that the ducks didn't do the backsplash laugh, that would have been buys. Just your average Peppa Pig love in with more feeding bad food to animals. Mrs. Duck is going to get her revenge someday for screwing up her life if this keeps up. ** 3/4 (55%).

Going Boating: Yippee! This marks Episode #200 on the animation paper, which is equal to 50 twenty minute episodes! Yeah; this series hasn't gone too long at all. So; this episode opens on a lake in the thinned out forest as there are boats on the shoreline and on the water as the boat rental operator is Miss Rabbit of course. There is a red life preserver on a post as the Pig family's car arrives; and everyone gets out. Mummy Pig has a picnic basket as Miss Rabbit is doing the hard sell; which is not needed here since there is no beach present to do anything other than boating. So Miss Rabbit shows off her canoes, sailing boats and paddleboats; with Daddy Pig blowing off the sailing boat for being tricky and canoes because he doesn't want to paddle. Keep in mind; in the term "paddleboats"; the word "paddle" is part of it. So; Daddy Pig chooses the paddle boat because he is dumb. Also dumb; the kids are in lifejackets written in via teleport; but once again, the adults are not wearing them. Miss Rabbit has a bell which when she rings it; it's time to bring the boat back, so enjoy. So everyone gets into the boat and Daddy Pig is dumb; because he has to be reminded that he's the engine. So Daddy Pig pedals the thing like a bicycle for a long ass whomping time; as Peppa is singing and this causes Daddy Pig to blush because Peppa is taunting him like a troll. So on the shoreline come the Elephant family; with Edmond and Emily wearing lifejackets. Is there a UK law that it is a crime to show adults wearing lifejackets on television? So they choose a canoe (the green #1 canoe) and get on board it. They start paddling and here comes Captain Dog and Danny Dog; who looks like a complete tool in a lifejacket and sailing cap. I would think that Captain Dog of all people would wear a lifejacket since he's a sea captain, but alas he does not. I should note that paddleboats are known as pedalos in Britan and Captain Dog doesn't deal with that crap; so it's the sailing boat for him. Miss Rabbit asks him if he can work this thing; and Captain Dog blows her off because he's a sea captain, dammit! What is Miss Rabbit's expertise in sailing? Seriously; I would love to know. So Danny and Captain go aboard and they sail as we have to race to see which boat is more likely to cause Daddy Pig to blush to death.

Everyone finds the smallest lump of sand and bumps into it as Daddy Pig comes in last. In comes Mrs. Duck (keep in mind; her feathers are yellow here) as the families decide to have their picnic in the boat as Mummy Pig brings out the picnic basket; and yes, the duck get fed more bread of course, just to annoy me further. Everyone loves picnics, although Peppa is going to regret feeding Mrs. Duck when the Golden Boots comes hence. So; Miss Rabbit rings her bell as the time is up, so that leads to the race of doom with nothing on the line, other than to see how much Daddy Pig blushes himself to death. So Emily's team takes the lead as Daddy Pig is screwed; so Mummy Pig tags herself in and they trade places. Mummy Pig pedals hard and she starts blushing and isn't going any faster than Daddy Pig is. This show buried both parents for my entertainment! Daddy Pig's smile says it all; but at least the Pig family is making progress; because Captain Dog's ship hasn't gone anywhere because there is no wind at the lake. HAHA! That's what happens when you depend on nature to save you; it either doesn't care about you or secretly hates you. So; we have a lovely exchange about winds and then Danny asks about using the rear engine; which Captain Dog blows off....and then he folds out the back engine which is conveniently placed. HAHA! I know what happens next: Captain Dog wins from a lovely miracle comeback by using a rear engine. CHEAT TO WIN~! No, not really. Yup; and it means the Pig family is in last place and Mummy Pig is screwed as she wants a sailing boat now; since it has an engine. So Danny Dog hops onto the shoreline after the miracle comeback win and Captain Dog starts the engine and is leaving to go back to sea; even though they are on a lake and thus it's impossible for him to go to sea. HAHA! Danny has to tell him PROMISES and Captain Dog stops; but he loves boating. Everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx.The narrator's acting has gotten a lot better since Series 1 and it makes for some really funny responses in Series 5. This was really fun; although I wish they stop feeding Mrs. Duck. *** 1/2 (70%).

Grampy Rabbit In Space: Here is one of the final Series 4 episodes; with Episode #207 on the animation paper. Episode opens at the church school on the hill with lots of giggling. We zoom into Playgroup with Peppa, George, Edmond, Richard, Danny, Suzy, Freddy, Emily, Pedro, Zoe and Rebecca as Madame Gazelle introduces Grampy Rabbit. George is carrying a toy rocket ship for some reason; which he loves. Today lesson is all about space rockets and space. Grampy Rabbit screams so much to greet the kids that he bowls them all over and everyone giggles on cue. There is a picture of the moon as Grampy Rabbit shows a piece of rock; but not just any ordinary rock, no. It's a moon rock; because you see, Grampy Rabbit once landed on the moon. Freddy claims his dad sells rocks in groups of five. Who knew; who cares? So Madame Gazelle nicely told him to sod off. Freddy won't shut up about it as Grampy claims that it's moon rock dammit! Peppa asks how Grampy got to the moon and Grampy shows off a space rocket model; which Suzy points out. Grampy points out that the real rocket was huge as we HIT THE FLASHBACK~! Grampy is in a rocket ship in the most low rent launching pad in space history. Basically; this whole story starts with a counting and backwards counting exercise; which the kids all do. We yell blast off and Grampy nearly blows the ears off some of the kids; and he wants the kids to do the same and even does the "I can't hear you!" spot; only he says "I can't hear anything!" So; apparently, he is hearing impaired legit in storyline. Lovely! So we fly into space with the most low rent flames animation the animators could perform. At least Grampy is wearing a spacesuit here; and that tells you how insane this show can be sometimes. More on that in The Golden Boots. So the rocket ship landed on the moon and you can clearly tell that Grampy's voice is getting raspy due to all of his screaming. So the door opens and it's one small step for rabbit; one giant leap for....I'm not telling just yet; that would spoil the surprise in The Golden Boots. So we exchange notes on jumping as high as a house on the moon; which is BS since in real life; it's 10 feet, which is the height of two average human beings. Edmond does his educational line of the episode and Grampy Rabbit doesn't mind the term clever clogs as much as the narrator does.

And by the way; Grampy on the moon was jumping about three feet high on the moon at the most; so this moon has stronger gravitatial pull than the real one. Grampy yells that the most exciting part of this was.... SQUEEEEEEEEEEE~! I don't know if it was the most exciting part; but that was the funniest part of this whole speech. Yup; Grampy has lost his voice. See kids; this is why you don't shout all the time, even in cartoons. Because, you'll lose your voice, go silent and no one will have sympathy for you since you were so annoying. Case in point; the kids are completely clueless and acting like this is part of the show. Madame Gazelle figures this out and goes to her cellphone because we have to bring Doctor Brown Bear out. Hasn't Brown Bear suffered ENOUGH already?! So Doctor Brown Bear answers his phone and gets the information from Gazelle and replies: "Is this such a bad thing?". I know this is blaming the victim, but I still died. For two seconds at least. However; since this is for educational purposes only; Brown Bear is like "Okay; we need to get his voice back" and hangs up. He runs outside to his ambulance car and gets inside (again, green crosses due to the Red Cross symbol being trademarked). He drives down the hill and onto the road as there is no traffic. Head inside the school as Brown Bear runs in with his doctor's bag. So Brown Bear checks his throat and is more sore than my ears at this point. Brown Bear gives Grampy Rabbit some medicine, and surprisely, Grampy is the only one who doesn't sell it as terrible. So we do some ahhing and he screams right in Brown Bear's kisser and Brown Bear falls down onto his back; causing the kids to do the backsplash laugh. HAHA! Everyone gets up as the kids cheer that Grampy Rabbit can yell again! Because kids love loud noises, you see. So we finish the story with Grampy Rabbit wanting to sing a song on his banjo; because this space trip inspired him. Sadly; the children outnumber the adults 12-2, 13-2 if you include Grampy Rabbit, so democracy creates more pain and suffering. The final shot is a zoom out shot of Grampy Rabbit on the moon in his spacesuit, singing and playing the banjo. This was awesome; so screw the adults who hated this as the kids giggle and join in singing the song -- which made this even better -- to end the episode at 4:30 approx.Wow; this was much better than I expected as Grampy was really slaying the scene in this one. **** 1/2 (90%).

Desert Island: So; we drop back a few episodes to Episode #185 as the episode opens on the cyan blue house on the hill complete with pirate flag. We head in the living room with Peppa, Geroge and Danny Dog looking at what is the rant debut of Captain Daddy Dog (navy blue shirt) who might have an even bigger tummy than Daddy Pig, if that is furrly possible. He's voiced by Alexander Armstrong; whom also voices Mr. Wolf. Captain Dog's gimmick is that he's a retired sailor and apparently, he cannot sail anymore and lost a "loser must retire forever" bet with someone. Okay; I made most of this up; but he cannot sail anymore since he's retired. Because sailors are not professional wrestlers, you see. Danny asks if Captain misses the sea; Captain says sometimes, which is a yes. So, the doorbell rings and outside is Grand Dad Dog, Grandpa Pig and Grampy Rabbit as the kids open the door first. They want Captain Dog to come out and play; which is codeword for going fishing in adult speak. They are going fishing on the sea in a boat and Captain Dog is going to break the stips of his retirement right....oh wait; Danny Dog cuts him off because PROMISES~! Captain Dog has declined the offer. The three senior citizens go down the hill as Captain Dog waves at them, looking confused and depressed; and sounding more like Patchy The Pirate from Spongebob SquarePants. He wants to clean seedweed off his house; but there is none, so he's doing the gimmick that he's miserable now without being a captain of the sea. Speaking of the captains of the sea, we head to the river with three boats; and Grampy Rabbit wants to take his boat, which is of course, the most unstable looking boat on the river since everyone is questioning this move. Except for Grampy Rabbit of course as he stands on a bolt anchor and it slides off, taking a piece of metal in the process as it splashes into the sea. Grampy completely ignores the bent metal as nothing and everyone gets on and we sail to the middle of the ocean with the three oldasses fishing for fish, I think. So we exchange pleasure thoughts as Grampy Rabbit brings out the picnic basket filled with food and soda. So we have the picnic as Grand Dad Dog thanks Grampy Rabbit for steering the boat; which Grampy denies. We zoom out as they are screwed and the boat is sinking into the salty goo; I would like to say that we will miss you. Except for the three old men; no one cares about them! Grampy Rabbit claims that he has been in worse situations; and of course he lied, this is the worst as the boat completely sinks and all three men swim fine; eliminating the sympathy that they could of have in this story.

They swim onto a desert island and sit down in deep despair. Oh, come on now! At least this island has a palm tree with fruit on it; unlike most desert islands on this show. So they mope around for a bit as Grampy Rabbit eats a chocolate bar literally seconds after showing it and Grandpa Pig telling him to save it for later, in a pathetic attempt to teach Grampy Rabbit the art of rationning; which involves being rational, which Grampy Rabbit is short of. In this story; 1 minute equals five minutes of real life in that world as Grampy Rabbit marks the sand everytime he thinks of cheese; I believe he has a fetish for cheese as part of his gimmick. His other gimmick is screaming for help after Grand Dad Dog wanted to call for help and Grampy thought it was a great idea. So we cut back to the cyan blue house on the hill as the kids hear the noise and Captain Dog comes out with his sailor's hat proclaiming that this is the call of the sea and they are in trouble; so he must help them. Cut to the river as they'll use Grand Dad Dog's boat as the kids get on; but Captain Dog stops, because PROMISES~! Danny points out that they need rescuing and Captain Dog is like "Ah; screw the stips. Just this once though." and gets on board. This is an emergency after all and he's not injured or anything; so why not? I should note that the lifejackets on the kids have teleported to their bodies on the far shot and of course, the adults do not wear them. I don't know why; I find it hypocritical that only the kids should wear them. So we sail away to the deserted island as it has been only like fifteen minutes since the oldass adults were on the island and Grampy Rabbit has been thinking about cheese, at least a hundred times. Not even Kit Cloudkicker thinks of flying that much. They moan and groan until finally Captain Dog makes the save with his boat; not much suspense here actually. Then they get on the boat, no lifejackets mind you and sail back to the river. So everyone; but Captain Dog jumps off and then Captain Dog pulls the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and teases sailing away for a few weeks; but Danny Dog reminds him PROMISES~!Captain Dog stops and jumps off as he can only break the stips in an emergency and to leave the sailing to the oldasses as everyone does the back splash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was pretty hilarious; although I think the retirement stips are grossly overrated at this point.*** 1/2 (70%).

The Fish Pond:So; we conclude the DVD set of single episode with Episode #205 on the animation paper. Episode opens with the Pig family's car on that boring road as they are having a day out. They are going to a little fish pond that Daddy Pig always visited when he was a boy as he parks the car to what appears to be a carpool. Everyone gets out as Daddy Pig explains that it's in the woods somewhere. I love how the zoom in shot is closer to the previous shot and yet completely breaks continuity by leaving specs of the parking lot out. Of course; Peppa is trolling Daddy Pig's inability to make sure they don't get lost and Daddy Pig claims that he remembers this spot as Mummy Pig remind him that that was a long time ago; and might as well say that memories and brains are fallible and defective. Daddy Pig finds the path because it has three little yellow flowers; but Mummy Pig is skeptical when Daddy Pig points out that there are small trees and one big time; but most of the trees are growing large. Mummy Pig then walks backwards and takes a really sick back of the head bump into the largest tree she can find. Daddy Pig even points out that bumping into trees is his gimmick. So we go west as Daddy Pig claims that there is a cafe nearby and it's ice creams for everyone. And we finally make it to the cafe which looks like it's boarded up and about to collapse. There is also a blackberry bush conveniently placed west of the cafe and it looks like no food is going to be served at all since the place is broken down...But wait! This is Peppa Pig and guess who runs the cafe? Miss Rabbit! She opens the shutters and takes Daddy Pig's order; bringing out a cup of coffee and three ice creams; and none of them look the worse for wear. Didn't have to pay for them either. Mummy Pig was the one who had the coffee by the way. So Daddy Pig wants to do on his merry away; but Miss Rabbit tells them not to; because it leads into the dreaded blackberry bushes. Daddy Pig wants to do this dare because it's a shortcut. This is at least 54 episodes AFTER Mummy Pig nearly killing herself off a ladder into a blackberry bush and getting embarrassed and mocked for looking like a blackberry bush. You would think Daddy Pig would know better; but Daddy Pig is dumb! The kids and Mummy Pig are not buying this and they want to go where Miss Rabbit points them to; the complete opposite path. Daddy Pig is the only one who picks the blackberry bush; because he is dumb.

So they go their seperate ways as Mummy Pig claims that everything is a little different from what Daddy Pig describes, which is silly because in spite of that, it's not like Daddy Pig has steered them wrong (blackberry bush shortcut notwithstanding) because they are now at the fish pond; which is basically a pond with a metal fountain in the middle and it's surrounded by blackberry bushes. A fish big literally jump up and down from the small pond; as they make jokes about DADDY'S BIG TUMMY~! The kids and Mummy Pig giggle as it's clear Daddy Pig has lost this bet hands down! So Mummy Pig rings in her cellphone and we hear ringing on a blackberry bush on the eastern side of the fish pond; so apparently, Daddy Pig had this won, but as we discover: Daddy Pig is stuck! So the kids and Mummy Pig grab onto some bushes and after three; they pull Daddy Pig out and he looked less like a bunch of bushes than Mummy Pig did in "The Blackberry Bush". They giggle as Daddy Pig notices the fish pond and the big fish jump up and down into the water, and this causes a half dozen coins to float up onto the water's surface. So this is a wishing pond as Peppa and George throw coins into the pond. Peppa's wish is for the fish pond to remain here forever and it's the same wish Daddy Pig had while he was little and they all laugh to end the episode and the DVD set at 4:30 approx. Outside of Miss Rabbit's appearance, not much to see here. ** 3/4 (55%).That was technically the final episode of the set; but the real final episode of this set is the first episode on the set; which is...

Opening Moment #1: It's basically the same opening as usual; except Peppa and George are muddy. After seeing this episode from start to finish; this looked like it was done after the ending to the episode. In doing so; they completely gave away the ending to the episode well in advance. Not that matters since the plot itself requires it anyway. Also; the logo reads before Peppa Pig drops down to do her intro: Peppa Pig: Ten Years Of Muddy Puddles! That was funny. Here is the promo for the special; which is probably even funnier than the special itself. Also of note; this opening does not apply to the Canadian DVD version of this episode; which makes me sad, sort of, although it doesn't give away the ending in advance, so yeah.

The Golden Boots: So; this is Episode #210 on the animation paper; but it's the first "movie short" of four for this series as this is basically a payoff to all the chaos and dumbassery that is present on this show. So; we open this episode on the house on the hill as despite being a movie; it still has the same animation quality the television episodes have. So out comes Peppa, George, Suzy, Freddy and Wendy with their boots on as the narrator sums it up nicely. We jump up and down in muddy puddles within five seconds. Oh; and we got something new in this gimmick: This past time now has a cute and funny song as Peppa and company sing while jumping. With a big splash here and a big splash there, we waste a good twenty seconds and it was great. We end with giggling and Peppa letting out a loud snort. Daddy Pig comes down the hill snorting and amused by this good time as Peppa and George love this past time and we have three snorts in three seconds. Daddy Pig then reveals that there is a puddle jumping competition; which clearly has no age limits, since Peppa is competing in this event as well. Wendy points out the winner is the best puddle jumper in the world. Apparently; Daddy Pig always wins this thing; which is more believable than Sony Always Wins. Allegedly. Daddy Pig wins by training and adhering to the first rule of muddy puddles: Which is always wear your boots. I betcha one piece of training is making sure the fat in your tummy is rock solid, so that you sink into the mud faster. Peppa shows off her yellow boots and claims that they are special because they are made of gold. Riiiiigggghhhhtttt Peppa. It's not hard to make gold colored rain boots; so I don't blame Suzy for calling you out on this. And Peppa claims that they are plastic gold; which kills her argument right there. The boots sparkle as the two kids argue over the color gold and the color yellow. I had a great finish in mind for this episode and they didn't go for it and that finish was crappy. More on that later on. Peppa ignores Suzy and skips up the hill singing about how great these boots are. It's more awkward than that teenage boy's new shoes in Totally Tasteless Videos.

Suzy keeps calling her out; but Peppa ignores her because she's a rude troll. Thankfully; Mummy Pig comes out with five glasses of orange juice with straws on a tray and calls for the kids to come in. Everyone runs into the house on the hill and takes off their boots, when suddenly, a white duck walks up the hill with no music. It quacks and the narrator proclaims that this is Mrs. Duck! Wait; wasn't Mrs. Duck a yellow feathered duck? Because this one has white feathers. My first reaction to this was: "What in the blue hell is in that bread and food Peppa and company were feeding to these ducks all these years?" And as you'll see from here on out; that was the same question I kept asking. It's not just the bleaching of her feathers white that made me ask this question. Then we get the greatest thing ever: Mrs. Duck looks at Peppa's "Golden Boots" and then jumps into said boots; and walks stage right down the opposite side of the hill. My headcanon on this was that since Peppa feeding her that bread all these years turned her feathers white; and stealing her dignity, she was going to steal something Peppa treasured the most that was also yellow. So she stole Peppa's "Golden Boots" as her revenge. This is awesome! The troll is finally going to get trolled back; which actually exposes the difference between a troll and a mere asshole. Most trolls when they are trolled actually respect the troller since they realize that the person is trolling back. Assholes don't act like trolls; they act like contemptable ghouls and are much more dangerous to the conversation than mere trolls. So Mrs. Duck is barely off-screen when the kids and Daddy Pig come out and Peppa is shocked and appalled because her "Golden Boots" are gone. This was the point where Peppa admitted that she was competing in the puddle jump competition. I'm shocked that one of them didin't say: "It's like it had legs and walked away"; because that is almost 100% fact. Almost. Clown trumpets play and here comes Mr. Zebra in his yellow truck as he notices Mrs. Duck walking down the hill with Peppa's "Golden Boots" when he gets out and walks up the hill. They even greet each other in opposite directions. HA!

Mr. Zebra arrives on top of the hill and calls this a lovely day for the puddle competition. And then something new happened, something I didn't expect in this cartoon: Remember what I said about no one over the age of two ever cries on this show? Well; Peppa Pig is crying her eyes out! And it took Mrs. Duck stealing her "Golden Boots" to do it. Wow; just wow. George should be like; "Told you this would happen when you troll too much." Anyhow; after Peppa has to sort of admit that her "Golden Boots" are yellow; Mr. Zebra points out Mrs. Duck walking to the bottom of the hill. Peppa is loving this and the chase IS ON BABEE! And truer words I have never spoken! Peppa catches up with Mrs. Duck and politely asks for her boots back; Mrs. Duck no sells this and backs up; giving Peppa the stinkeye in one frame of animation. So anyone who thinks my headcanon is insane; the narrator even says that Mrs. Duck doesn't want to give Peppa her boots back. So we get most of the Pig family (sans George) backing up Mrs. Duck as Daddy claims that she cannot walk away from them. Mrs. Duck turns around and runs stage right. HAHA! Apparently; all that food the Pig family has fed Mrs. Duck has given her the ability to spirint like Ben Johnson. Mummy Pig is chasing Mrs. Duck and even Peppa Pig has figured out that the sins of not adhering to the rule of "DON'T FEED THE ANIMALS~!" is costing her those "Golden Boots" Mummy Pig somehow catches up with Mrs. Duck; but Mrs. Duck puts on the jets like a football player on Larson & Gary's diet pill program (and yes; this show does have a spot where they mention diet pills.). Feeding the animals is a bad idea and it's going to get even better. Cut to the docks with Danny Dog and Captain Daddy Dog on the docks heading for their boat; so apparently, Captain Daddy Dog is intentionally breaking the stips now. Why? Why not?! Thankfully; Danny Dog remembers the stips and Captain Daddy gives up right there. HAHA! So, everyone runs in as Mrs. Duck boards Captain Dog's boat on the right side of the boat.

Mummy Pig explains the situation to Captain Dog and Captain Dog stalks Mrs. Duck claiming that there is no where left to run. Mrs. Duck basically give the giant middle finger (like she needs to) and jumps into the water and swims away stage right. And I betcha she swims faster than the Roadrunner can run. I would say Sonic The Hedgehog; but Sonic cannot swim in his storyline. Danny Dog orders Captain Daddy Dog to sail right now; and Captain Daddy Dog is the one saying; but PROMISES~! Mummy Pig claims that it's an emergency and that means that the stips can be overridden. Okay; fair enough. Everyone gets on the boat; and I believe the lifejackets have been written in by teleport, as usual. So we get the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE MRS. DUCK SCREW PEPPA THE TROLL EDITION~! Oh; and Captain Dog pushes the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and this causes both his boat and Mrs. Duck to go faster! Again; my headcanon was asking what was in the food that made Mrs. Duck act like this? So far; this has been an awesome episode; but now it's time for this episode to go downhill since they still have to kill time. Cut to the deserted island we saw in episode #185 and apparently, Grampy Rabbit is on said island marking out time on the island sand. Wait; what? I though Grampy was rescued in episode #185? He is not happy because he's a castaway on a deserted island...AGAIN! Yes; apparently, the wooden boat has sank as well. Grampy Rabbit needs to retire, STAT! Out comes Mrs. Duck as she walks up to Grampy; and in comes the sailing ship as they allegedly have the duck surrounded now. Peppa explains the situation and still calls them her "Golden Boots" as the massive logic break is obvious here since the duck can do north and south with ease. Problem is; that wouldn't be giving Peppa a huge middle finger for being a troll; so Grampy Rabbit tries to catch Mrs. Duck and Mrs. Duck flies into the air. HAHA! The kids look up and Freddy just has to say that Mrs. Duck is flying all the way to the moon. Now; this is absurd, and they wouldn't dare literally have the characters fly to the moon. Would they?

Daddy Pig isn't buying this bullcrap; but Grampy Rabbit asks why not since he flown to the moon. Ummm; Mrs. Duck would die if she tried to fly and that would be tragic and stupid. Grampy Rabbit admits that he needed a rocket ship to get to the moon...and it so happens that there is a rocket ship on the next island with four palm trees, plants, gears, nuts, bolts, metal and a shopping cart buried in the sand. Grampy Rabbit built this rocket himself out of scrap metal which shocks and awes Freddy Fox as Peppa asks Grampy Rabbit to fly her to the moon; and Mummy Pig is nicely pointing out that this is BS; but Grampy Rabbit proclaims that he will. Uh-oh! This episode is about to fall off a cliff now; although we are not there quite yet. Grampy gets on Captain Daddy Dog's boat and orders him to sail to the next island; Captain Dog complies. The one time I would adhere to the stips, emergency "Golden Boots" be damned; and he decides not to. So we sail to the island and everyone gets off as George is giddy since he loves space rockets. There is a giant green light on the top pole of the space rocket as shown on the southern pan shot. Daddy asks if this is safe (Me: No.) and Grampy Rabbit says safer than a house going through space. Grampy bangs on the side of the rocket and a piece of red fin falls off. Oh; sure this is VERY safe. Not. It sounds a lot funnier in George's condscending voice. Grampy then throws away the red fin into the water claiming that they don't need it. Of course! Mummy Pig is more blunt in saying that the "Golden Boots" on the moon is a lot of BS; and Grampy Rabbit claims that this is nosense. And yes; we are supposed to buy that Grampy Rabbit went to the moon. We know he did in episode #207; but if you ask someone who didn't watch the show; would they believe this BS? Of course not. I'm having a hard time believing Grampy Rabbit story in episode #207; now seeing this. So; everyone gets into the hole through the rocket and in a major shock; Daddy Pig didn't get stuck in the hole. Grampy Rabbit screams blast off and shuts the glass door and I was fully expecting the rocket ship to not blast off at all...Nope; it just blasted off.

This is the point of the episode where it was clear that this special is way too long since they have to create a convoluted segment in order to justify killing an extra three to five minutes. Now; watch this episode really start to fall off a cliff. And no; no amount of Peppa singing is going to help this segment in anyway. The artwork is as cheeky as the entire show, so it doesn't even have the artistic appeal to make this convoluted segment work. So we get a shot of the moon as the carters look bigger than they appear in real life and the space rocket lands on the moon. Yes folks; Peppa and her friends are going to literally walk on the moon...Now; if they were wearing actual space suits; this wouldn't be awful, but everyone comes out, only wearing fish bowls for helmets. Including Grampy Rabbit; who at one time wore an actual spacesuit! Worse; Peppa is literally walking barefoot on the goddamn moon! I realize that no kid is going to be able to mimic this no matter what; since again, what adult (sane or otherwise) would allow anyone under the age of 21 to fly with them in the damn moon in the very first place?! The scariest part of this is; this isn't even the bottom of the episode! That's coming up in a minute or two! Peppa jumps high and Wendy does flips on the moon as Daddy Pig states the science behind the moon's ability to make you jump high and of course Peppa claims that it's magic, causing Daddy Pig says yes. Despite all the BS in this segment, I still laughed at that at least. Daddy Pig bringing out the formula for weight is awesome by the way. Grampy Rabbit agrees with Peppa (BOO! HISS!) and we go searching around the moon while singing; and no surprise, Mrs. Duck is not there. Because she is smarter than everyone on this show including the people who create this damn show! The song is really fun and all; but the storyline is just killing this scene and not in a good way. So they look in mountains and craters; no luck as Peppa walks over to a crater and sulks as she wiggles her foot wondering how she will get her boots back. How about just buying a new pair and ending this nonsense. In comes Suzy Sheep baaing and oh lord; we have finally come to the moment...

Now; up to this point, we had an awesome seven minutes of Mrs. Duck trolling Peppa leading to a BS segment for about two minutes or so. As stupid as this moon segment as been; we are now at the point where the episode literally falls 90 degrees straight down into the Earth's core. So; Suzy proclaims they should scout the shop and Daddy Pig is like "what?" like I was, because you see; who would be stupid enough to put a shop on the moon when no one ever lives on the moon?! Suzy claims that you can and we anime pan over to....an actual gift shop. Okay; this was BS in itself; but guess who is running the shop? Take a guess? MISS F*CKING RABBIT~! I...I.............I......Wwwwwwwwhat the f*ck is this?! UUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...!!!

Narrator: Two minutes later...

My brain short circuited there. Don't worry; I didn't lose any IQ points or suffer brain damage, but I still short circuited. My mind is now officially blown. I am SHOCKED that they didn't go all the way and have Miss Rabbit selling rice cakes and carrots on the moon just to culture-apporos that Japanese myth to the ground, because it was just daring to be used here. So; let's recap: The story of Miss Rabbit is legendary. Miss Rabbit does all of these odd jobs, some for money, some as a volunteer. There was a sense of believability in that it was possible that Mummy Rabbit was working at half of these jobs and was mistaken by the narrator since Miss Rabbit and Mummy Rabbit are identical twins. That was at least believable. Miss Rabbit winning the Queen's Award For Industry was believable and her being close friends with the queen was believable as well. As silly as running a run down snack cafe in the middle of nowhere also was believable, because it used to be a snack cafe and the government failed to fund it to provide maintence. Despite all the absurdly of Miss Rabbit's gimmick, none of it was in a way that you needed to suspend your disbelief over. But this....I cannot suspend my disbelief over this moment. Okay; Grampy Rabbit taking untrained kids and adults to the moon is one thing. It's incompentent and stupid; but it's has a sliver of creditability. Miss Rabbit having a gift shop on the moon...F*CK YOU show! This sucked so hard! I should also note that this gift shop sells ice cream and jam. Miss Rabbit is so giddy to see them since she hasn't had a customer in years and years. I'm no longer going to dignify this with a response other than to tell you what happened here; because we still have five minutes left in this episode. Miss Rabbit basically calls the duck on the moon thing absurd as Grampy Rabbit BLAMES Mummy Pig for a claim that Grampy Rabbit himself made. Sadly; that was the funniest thing about this BS segment in general. Mummy Pig is flabbergasted as Freddy Fox wonders where Mrs. Duck is and thank god this segment is over.

So we pan down from the cloudy sky and head to Grandpa Pig's orchard with Grandpa Pig picking apples from the trees and putting them in the bucket. In comes Mrs. Duck marching with Peppa's "Golden Boots" as Grandpa Pig notices Mrs. Duck and the boots right away. Grandpa Pig corners Mrs. Duck and Mrs. Duck bumps backwards into the tree and the "Golden Boots" pop off her feet. Grandpa Pig grabs the "Golden Boots" and notices that they are Peppa. So Grandpa Pig brings out his cell phone and calls Daddy Pig; and Daddy Pig answers him on the damn moon! To think; this is the most believable part of this entire segment. So Grandpa Pig informs Daddy Pig that he found Peppa's boots; everyone pops for that. Everyone gets into the rocket ship and it heads into space and lands in Grandpa Pig's garden without damaging anything. Out comes everyone from the rocket ship as Peppa sees them as her "Golden Boots" and wants them back. But wait; Grandpa Pig is not 100% convinced, so we have to do a Cinderella fitting the glass slipper spot with barefoot George and Suzy; which doesn't work. Even Wendy Wolf is saying the same thing as I am; so you know they are just wasting time. Why? So Peppa has to test out the boots and they fit her perfectly, so that is that. Peppa finally gets her boots back at the 11:40 mark of this episode. After ten seconds to allow this to all sink in; there is the puddle jumping competition and we head to a field on the hill; and it's clear that Mummy Rabbit is on Earth in the ice cream bicycle because we all know Miss Rabbit is on the freaking moon! Madame Gazella is holding a string of balloons. Everyone is there including the kid rhino; as Mr. Potato arrives with his hat and microphone to address the crowd. He calls for Daddy Pig and in comes Daddy Pig panting and apologizing for holding everyone up; despite being there five seconds after Mr. Potato (no head this time) introduced him. HAHA! Daddy Pig does the Clamantha zip strip of doom to reveal a red and blue body suit with white stars on it. Who does he think he is, American?! Everyone claps as Daddy Pig starts to meditate and think like a puddle. Oookkkaayyy.

Daddy must become one with the puddle and then does the greatest jump I have ever seen and he splashes down and the mud spray was awesome! TA-DA indeed! Then we get a really funny moment as Mr. Potato declares Daddy Pig the winner and gives him the trophy! But wait; Doctor Elephant comes in claiming that he hasn't jumped yet; so Daddy Pig is not the winner yet. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Mr. Potato is dumber than Daddy Pig; and he's supposed to be the health guru in storyline! Doctor Elephant doesn't meditate as he jumps up into the air, blows his trumpet and comes down with a resounding splash into the muddy puddle and it's the exact same animation as Daddy Pig. So; this should be a draw, although in terms of style, Doctor Elephant might win. I don't know how this event is scored; but the bigger the jump, the better I guess. So; Doctor Elephant is the winner and everyone cheers, including Peppa just to troll on Daddy Pig's fee-fees. Peppa then asks if she can have a go; which surprises Mr. Potato, but this is like the X-Division in TNA, so she's allowed in. Now; here's how I would book the finish of this episode: Peppa Pig jumps the highest and comes down with the biggest splash in history; getting everyone muddy and she wins clean as a sheet. Why? Because the whole story was pegged on Peppa winning with her "Golden Boots" and she proves that the boots are "magical" since they were a part of why she won and therefore, the entire chase of Mrs. Duck and going to the freaking moon would be completely justified, no matter how absurd or stupid that ultimately was. It would be a passing the torch moment for Daddy Pig and Peppa and complete the circle of life of a girl who has become the greatest puddle jumper ever and justify ten years of buildup towards this moment. What I described can be easily done without changing anything else in this episode. There's one problem though: That is not what the writers booked here. Here's what happens: Mr. Potato calls her Pepper Pig; which was funny as Daddy Pig tells Peppa to think like a puddle and be one with the puddle. Also funny. She jumps and there's zero splash. Now; if you want Peppa lose, then have Doctor Elephant win clean; or even have George win the puddle jump clean in a surprise upset. Yes; Doctor Elephant winning does make this an unhappy ending; but this is an unhappy ending that 99% of humanity can live with because it's only a puddle jumping competition and they can win it next year. George winning it would work because it's a swevere and it's far from an unbelievable one.

However; that is NOT what they did here. Here is the finish: Mr. Potato declares Doctor Elephant the winner; but wait! Peppa asks if she can go again. You think the answer is no; but Mr. Potato grants her request, causing Doctor Elephant to protest, to no avail. Worse; Peppa asks if she can have her friends join in; which is 13 KIDS~! Yes; there are 14 JUMPERS in this group against one big adult! Mr. Potato grants her request, causing Doctor Elephant to rightfully protests this. Daddy calls this perfectly fair and I'm pissed now. This is absolute bullsh*t! Why can't you let Peppa win the competition clean? You are going to throw out years of build up and render the entire "Golden Boots" gimmick pointless? Plus; if this is because they want everyone to win; well, that doesn't work because Daddy Pig and Doctor Elephant would lose anyway; and worse, it was a screwjob finish that neither one deserved, even if Daddy Pig didn't mind taking the L. This is so stupid and it doesn't have the "they totally given up" charm of Miss Rabbit with a gift shop on the moon. So the kids think like a muddy puddle and jump in a circle after the count of five and they create such a splash that they render themselves muddy and even get the hard camera muddy. Memo to writers: You can still do that and have Peppa win clean. Yes folk; it took FOURTEEN kids to win against one adult. In wrestling, that makes them heels! The bad guys! The villains! Stupid! Mr. Potato steals Doctor Elephant's trophy as everyone else pops for this and Doctor Elephant is rightfully protesting this as Peppa and her friends are declared the winners. So Peppa is glad to get her "Golden Boots" back as Suzy blows it off; but Peppa still doesn't get the message. So; Suzy simply plays along and brings out her Purple Ruby Red Boots, Wendy has her Emerald Green Boots on and then everyone starts jumping up and down in muddy puddles. Sorry; but it won't save you this time show. Everyone loves their boots as we sing the "Muddy Puddles" Song perfromed by "Perfume Du Muddy Puddle" (that's my story and I'm sticking to it) as Mrs. Duck gives a giant middle finger to the first rule of muddy puddle jumping to end the special at 15:00 approx. Horrible finish and a mind blowing segment aside; this was in fact a really good episode, but this kills Peppa Pig as a star now. Call this *** (60%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; this was the best DVD set of the six that I have reviewed with Grampy Rabbit In Space and Captain Daddy Dog having impressive debuts in my opinion. The rest was fun although The Golden Boot could have been so much better without that horrible finish that destroyed Peppa as a star. Peppa should have won clean and be put over as the best muddy puddle jumper because that was what they were building her to me. Heck; even having her lose clean; or George winning would have worked out fine. Instead; Peppa had to cheat 14 kids to one to beat Doctor Elephant. It was so stupid. I'm not going to mention the moon scenes again, except to say that my brain short circuited again as I expected it to. (I have seen that episode twice before reviewing this episode). Overall; I have had a wonderful time with this show and I plan to do more episodes in the future. For now; I'm taking a break from this and return in Feburary with either this show to rant, or another show (maybe Woo-oo from Ducktales 2017) because I need some time to think things over and have my brain recover from short circuiting from that mind blowing scene on the moon. Hopefully; I can find the "Simple Science" episode and share with you the greatness of that episode. So...

Thumbs up for Grampy Rabbit In Space & Captain Daddy Dog; thumbs in the middle for everything else and I'll see you all next time.

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