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Twenty Years Of Muddy Puddles: Peppa Pig Series Five #4 Rant

Reviewed: 12/09/2018
Additional Commentary/Edited: 08/31/2024

Let The Mr. Potato Is Cooked Begin!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Okay; so we continue on with Series Five as we start as the gloves are finally off of this show as it turns from just a normal pre-school show into a legendary pre-school show. How do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Peppa Goes To Paris: First up is episode #245 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the house on the hill with the car already ready to go. I notice that "Paris" is in the colors of France's flag, just a giant middle finger. The Pig family walk out of the house and jump into the car as the narrator explains that they are going to Paris to see Delphine Donkey. Everyone is ready and they drive down the hill and onto the boring road. (2024 Gregory Weagle Says: This is the first time the adult didn't say: "Then let's go!" in this show!) Peppa wants to know where Paris is and Mummy Pig has the travel map to inform us that it's in France and they are taking a ferry. Because you see, since this show takes place in a wacky version of Great Britian, that like being in Canada where the United States is beneath us, Francis is beneath them. And some of you will understandably vomit in their mouth a little after that remark. (The Anti-French bigotry is thick in this show and this episode isn't going to help much in changing that.) Peppa doesn't know what a ferry is and Daddy Pig wants her to see it. Jump cut to the ferry which is a generic cruise ship. I have been to ferries and few of them look similar to this. The Halfax/Dartmouth ferry looks nothing like this at all. The cars all park in the hull of the ferry. Apparently; only about two cars made the trip and one of them looks like a vacationing Doctor Brown Bear and his family. So much for burnout. (Mummy Bear makes an appearance, but I don't think the one to her right is Doctor Brown Bear. I think Penny Pony makes another appearance on this show, but I couldn't tell since the camera was zoomed out.) Everyone goes up on deck and the boat is rocking and the second Peppa mentions it; Mummy Pig is already sea sick. Daddy Pig -- apparently doesn't seem afraid despite the height of the boat -- and the kids walk in to get lunch and the waves get stronger. Daddy Pig comes back with a fried egg sandwich and this is the point where I write: Daddy Pig is the enabler of Peppa's trolling. Mummy Pig groans on cue; and that was bad. Land ahoy; says Peppa. When Peppa is not being the troll here; you know that sandwich moment was hideous. Basically; the ferry lands and the ramp opens.

Three cars come out as we get the same old charming spot from Peppa's visit to Italy when Mummy Pig informs Daddy Pig that they might drive differently in France. (Mr. Reindeer makes an appearance.) Daddy Pig of course thinks driving is driving and they literally repeat the spot from the second episode of Peppa's visit to Italy, and they might have just used stock footage for all I know. Head shaken. The only difference is that they speak French instead of Italian. (It wasn't really funny the first time and it's not the second time. Thankfully, they retired that spot.) We arrive near a large French apartment complex with many French denizens walking about and shooting the breeze. (Cameos: Mrs. Cow, Mr. Badger, Mr. Labo, Mr. Fox and Mummy Dog.) The car arrives and I'm shocked Daddy Pig didn't get one French ticket from the police. Thankfully; no Teddy is present, although I hope there is a swimming pool nearby because I would love to see Daddy Pig walk into the pool again, like he did in Italy. (Well, that kind of kills any hope for a thumbs up episode right there, former self.) The Donkey family is here as the families meet and greet at a cafe umbrella table. Bonjour means hello in French of course. Daddy Pig want to see all of Paris; and Pere Donkey no sells because it's impossible. Daddy Pig rephrases himself and wants to see the areas tourists don't see; this causes Pere Donkey to clap and say bravo. The instant I heard that from Daddy Pig; I realized that this will not end well for Daddy Pig. Pere Donkey asks Daddy Pig about the first event and Daddy Pig wants to see the Eiffel Tower. Ummm; yeah, and you thought Pedro F'N Pony was clueless?! (Daddy Pig is our GEEK DE LA SEMAINE~!) Pere Donkey says okay and wonders "what an idiot?" in the process. Word. We head to the Effiel Tower as it's a busy place and Daddy Pig is still clueless. Peppa notices a gift shop featuring Miss Rabbit. But wait; this one is protesting this outrage, because she is not Miss Rabbit despite all the trappings of Miss Rabbit, including reading the same Ezza magazine. She's Madame Lapin; which is Miss Rabbit in French. Still; this means that there are more than one Miss Rabbit and this effectively means that there are lots of them around the world. This effectively kills the Miss Rabbit multiple jobs gimmick and good for them to do so. (No, not really. The American Miss Rabbits did a better job of killing this.)

Still doesn't make the gift shop on the moon any less absurd, but whatever. (I will admit, this did effectively make me mellow out of the sad gimmick Miss Rabbit had, sort of.) As I say that, they effectively brought back the gimmick as Madame Lapin is speaking English for real, meaning it's the real Miss Rabbit. Because we still need to milk the legendary story of Miss Rabbit. Peppa wants to climb the real one; and Daddy Pig -- after not being scared of being on top of a cruise ship -- looks up and now he's doesn't like heights. Continuity? What's that?! (If you thought this was bad, wait until they start mocking his heights with his lack of sight. The fear of heights seems to have selective logic, methinks.) The families decide to take the elevator up and they take the elevator up.Then they all go up the stairs. Daddy Pig continues to have problems with this as Mummy Pig's advice to combat dizziness: Close your eyes. That is such a dumb idea, especially when you are climbing up a tall attraction. Everyone makes it to the visitor's portion of the look off and the kids are in awe about this. Except Daddy Pig, with this eyes closed mind you; climbs up the wooden ladder which leads to the forbidden top of the Effiel Tower. At least this is all Mummy Pig's fault for telling him to close his eyes, instead of just Daddy Pig not seeing where he is going and having his eyes open, like in Simple Science. Mummy Pig loves the view as Pere Donkey asks what Daddy Pig thinks and he's no where to be found. They look up and Daddy Pig is on top of the Eiffel Tower and he opened his eyes. Daddy Pig is stuck. (Yeah, this is Mummy Pig's fault for suggesting this dumb act.) Pere Donkey brings out his cell phone and calls for emergency helicopter rescue service, so more Miss Lapin telling Mummy Pig to get her name right. In comes Miss Lapin and her helicopter arrives, invokes the GIANT SUCTION CUP OF DOOM, grabs Daddy Pig by his back and Daddy Pig panics because he is afraid of heights. Although; considering the method, I don't think it really matters if he's afraid of heights or not. However; Daddy Pig looks down and proclaims that he can see everything as everyone is happy and giggling to end the episode at 4:30. Well; that finish was interesting to say the least, although I could've done without the obvious recycling of the traffic spot again. *** 1/4 (65%).

Grandpa Pig's Pond: We continue on with episode #246 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the white house on the hill with Grandpa Pig -- with shovel and wheelbarrow in tow --, Peppa and George going downhill towards the garden. Grandpa Pig brings out the shovel and proclaims that they are making a big pond; thus there is going to be some hole digging going on. Jump cut to the house as Mr. Fox arrives in his van. (This episode has no "Est. 20xx" on the side of Mr. Fox's truck.) Out comes Granny Pig to do the meet and greet. They exchange notes for a while as Mr. Fox goes into the back and shows off a fishing gnome statue; which Granny Pig loves and offers to buy one. It's one of a kind. I don't buy that for one second; I betcha it comes in sets of five hundred, knowing Mr. Fox. (You get the feeling that former self do not like gnomes anymore?! Also, it's clear from Mr. Fox's smile that this one of a kind object is extremely sus.) Jump back to Peppa, George and Grandpa Pig digging a hole. Nope; they are NOT burying themselves, I assure thee! Peppa hits something and brings out a tea cup. She's in awe about this as George hits something and brings out a giant bone and he assumes it's a dinosaur. Looks believable to me and it does with Grandpa Pig as he hits something and it's a coin we see a million times. George has the most valuable object, Grandpa Pig has just a pound and Peppa has a teacup that might or might not have value. In comes Granny Pig asking about the status of the pond and we have buried treasure. Granny claims that a fishing gnome is also a treasure, and even Grandpa Pig thinks this is dumb. He also hate gnomes. Personally; I don't hate gnomes, just the statues of gnomes, mostly because the Travelocity ads are deader than my sex life now. Those ads didn't age well to say the least. (I have to agree on this one.) Needless to say; Grandpa is not buying Mr. Fox's claim that it's an antique. Peppa asks if they found buried treasure and Grandpa Pig is not sure; so he will drive Peppa and George to the musuem to find out. We head to the musuem on the hill as the car arrives and instantly Mr. Rabbit comes out to greet the three, in which the kids are literally hopping out of the car windows. I realize that they do this hopping spot everytime; but it's much more obvious here than usual. (Mainly because the roof is up and the windows are down. It's comical.) We exchange notes and then head inside to Mr. Rabbit's office as he examines the teacup and coin; and he is amused. I just love how the coin is real metal gold instead of real plastic gold; as if that matters.

Finally; we get to see George's giant bone and Mr. Rabbit is in awe as we head into the museum area and the bone fits perfectly with the skeletonal dinosaur. Which begs the question: Did someone steal that dinosaur bone from the museum and bury it in Grandpa Pig's garden. Hmmm; George can dig very well for a two year, I wonder; I really really wonder?! (So in other words, you think George is being extremely sus in this love for dinosaurs.) The coin and the teacup are placed under glass and the kids can see it for free and Grandpa Pig is half price because he's old. Everyone walks out as Mr. Rabbit asks where the treasure was buried and Peppa claims that it was in the garden. Mr. Rabbit demands that all digging must stop; because they need an investigator to dig the area to see if there are more buried treasure in the garden. Well; the digging should stop because there might be underground wires; since there are no power poles in this world; nor power wires. Worse; it took me THIS long to figure this out! (To be fair, it took me exactly the same amount of time in episode order as well, former self.) Jump cut back to the white house on the hill as the car arrives and everyone runs down hill to meet Granny. They exchange notes on the situation and within five seconds, here comes Mr. Rabbit and his digging crew which is Mr. Bull with his jackhammer and Mr. Rhino with his digger. Okay; I have good reason to protest this outrage now. I do not trust Mr. Bull at all, because he cannot follow a budget and he's a tunnel vision digger at best. (George Carlin would have call your ass out on those soft words former self! Tell the facts! Mr. Bull has a destruction fetish and loves to torture Daddy Pig with jackhammering noise!) Case in point: He jackhammers the pond and destroys all the teacup into bits; and no one cares at all. Especially Grandpa Pig! Yes; they wanted an expert to destroy the valuable stuff in the pond! DUMB! Grandpa Pig in the confusion, brings out the hose and sprays water into the hole to create the pond. Then Granny Pig sits the fishing gnome statue down on the edge of the pond; and Mr. Rabbit cannot believe his eyes, because in this world; Mr. Fox was telling the truth. Grandpa Pig is confused about this as he claims that it should be in a museum. (Mr. Fox grifts everyone again. This is abusrd gaslighting on his part.) Granny gives the statue to Mr. Rabbit and Peppa invokes the old joke about admission is half price. Everyone except Granny does the backsplash laugh at once. Granny looks like she's insulted, then stops selling and does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. Gnome statues involved in plots automatically get no more than ** 1/4 (45%) from me unless there is a sneaky twist of fate. None happened here. Otherwise, a fine episode.

Once Upon A Time: Here is episode #247 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the house on the hill. We zoom into Peppa's bedroom as Peppa & George are sitting on the floor looking at storybooks. They look inside a book and see various fairy tales as George is worried about the old woman getting eaten by a wolf. (I should point out the cameo of Princess Holly from Ben & Holly's Magical Kingdom inside the storybook within seconds.) But Peppa tells her not to worry because fairy tales always have happy endings. Yeah; I'll bet. (There was a happy ending to the "Wonders Of Concrete" book on the floor, but the happy ending was to all of us watching Daddy Pig lose his hearing and his sanity in Simple Science.) Peppa then wishes they were in a fairy tale. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, snap! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I realize that this is a storyline; but that still makes me laugh. (The irony was not lost on former self, even if it was completely lost on Peppa.) In comes Daddy and Mummy Pig to inform them that they are going on an adventure...to the white house on the hill for lunch. Peppa claims that this is not an adventure. I beg to differ, considering the next rant. (Another episode I ranted out of order, since Police Station is next.) Daddy Pig then claims that there will be potatoes; and Peppa smiles. We head outside as Peppa brings out her storybook with George, Mummy and Daddy Pig following her. They tease getting in the car; but Daddy Pig wants to walk to Granny and Grandpa Pig's house this time. Wow; Daddy Pig has been on an exercise kick lately, even more so than usual. Mummy Pig claims that there is a short cut through the park and Peppa is not amused and sighs. Daddy exclaims that there is magic if you look hard enough; coming from someone with a science degree. Fools! (SUZY SHEEP~?! Suzy and Peppa have completely cooked poor science in this world...) Daddy Pig opens the gate and they head into the park. Peppa is not feeling any sense of magic nor hope; but Daddy Pig begs to differ. Mummy Pig claims that this is the path of Little Red Riding Hood as Daddy Pig jokes about bumping into the big, bad, wolf...and lo and behold; he bumps into a suited Mr. Wolf.

Sadly; this isn't as funny as Daddy Pig rowing a boat blushing while Mr. Wolf is sitting in the boat feeling hungry. (Like I said, that spot deserved a meme and an animated GIF!) Daddy Wolf is looking for a place for lunch. Peppa talks about going to Granny's for lunch and Mr. Wolf leaves stage right. This was nothing to Peppa; this was nothing to everyone else. I was disturbed! (In other words, trouble!) The family makes it to the fork in the road. The pink path is left, the yellow path is right and the green path is the one Mr. Wolf took. Daddy Pig of course has no idea where to go, and then out of nowhere is a cottage right in the middle of the park. The family enters the house without knocking and we are literally into "Goldilocks & The Three Bears" promo cutting. But wait; this cottage is the home of Belinda Bear and yes, Belinda Bear has Mummy and Daddy as parents; but Daddy Bear is not Doctor Brown Bear! (No glasses, so it cannot be him. I believe this is Mummy Bear's first speaking role and maybe Daddy Bear's as well. Daddy Bear sounds nothing like Doctor Brown Bear I should also note.) They cut porriage promos and the bears don't seen to care about closing the door, much less locking it. There is giggling as Mummy Bear points to the yellow arrow path as the correct path to Granny and Grandpa Pig's house. Everyone goes through the back door as the three bears are carrying their porriage and it must be just right since none of it is spilled. The family recaps the entire thing as Peppa proclaims that they are in a fairy tale. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yup. The family walks up the hill to Grandpa's house as Peppa knocks on the door and calls for Granny Pig. The door opens and out comes...Mr. Wolf?! Uh-oh! Mr. Wolf is looking for something to eat and this was lunch...Oh wait; Granny Pig pops out from the door and she's fine. Nothing to worry about at all as everyone heads to the kitchen table and Wendy Wolf has joined us. Grandpa Pig comes out with a platter of boiled potatoes and puts them down in the middle of the table. Peppa and Wendy talk about living in fairy tale stories and everyone laughs to end the episode at 4:30. The self-awareness of Peppa is a sight to behold, even at this point of my lifetime. (It was another fun episode, and the lack of self-awareness coupled with Mr. Wolf's gimmick made it worth it. *** 1/2 (70%).)

Police Station: Next up is episode #248 on the animation paper as the episode opens on a boring road with the family in their car coming home from a long drive as Peppa has Teddy and somehow didn't lose it this time. Which means George lost Mr. Dinesaur (sic) during the trip because I don't see it with him. Daddy Pig wants some tea; but then George bawls his eyes out! (Wow, I didn't expect George to be so offended by having a relaxing cup of tea...Oh wait, he lost his plastic dinosaur toy. My mistake.) This is only the second time for rant purposes in Series Five that this has happened. Which would be thirty six episodes total. (In fact this will be the first time since George's Balloon that George cries more than once.) This is the first time since the second episode of this entire show that George has lost Mr. Dinesaur. I point this out because Peppa claims that he lost Mr. Dinesaur again. Except Peppa isn't trolling here; George lost his dinesaur buddy in episode #2. A very long time ago; to the point that a huge chunk of target audience wasn't even born yet! (Literally 13 years ago in real time. Peppa would be Charlotte Sheep's age at this point in real time.) George is seem with the family shopping in a flashback as Daddy Pig runs down the list of places they went and it's a lot of places. They were everywhere~! Peppa then proclaims that Mr. Dinesaur is lost forever. YOU TROLL~! George bawls his eyes out...again! He has cried more times in the last minute than the entire Series Five run so far. The parents tell George not to worry; because they are sure Mr. Dinesaur was found and they will take them to the police station. In this world? Sure. In the real world...Like to gamble, George? Because that is what you are counting on. A lucky gamble. (Sadly, no lies detected.) We head to the police station, which looks like a store in this world. Mr. Fox is walking away on the sidewalk with three different colored umbrellas. (Mr. Fox's expression tells me that he's being a bit sus if you know what I mean. There's also a pigeon nearby.) We head inside with the only two police officers in this world: Mr. Panda and Mrs. Grey Squirrel. They are at the desk in front of the computer. Then they sink to a new low as they are doing typical stereotypical police work. This includes eating donuts and they aren't even Canadian! Cultural apporos much there, show?! (If you ever want to know why you don't do donut jokes with police officer, ask Jay Leno. I realize police officers take everything seriously, but this is beyond petty.)

They also do their hello times three greet when they meet the Pig family. George is not amused, rightfully so. (Peppa surprisely doesn't say that George lost his toy dinosaur again, even though despite that being a troll move, it's accurate.) He's even less amused when the police tell him to keep his eyes and ears open. Not helpful at all. Mummy Pig thankfully points out that they are here to see if Mr. Dinesaur has been returned or not. Mr. Panda gets out his notebook and tells George to describe Mr. Dinesaur in as many words as he likes. It's just routine, you see. Zoom in to George pondering this over. Jeopardy music needs to be played in this scene, it wasn't. George then responds with one word: Dinesaur (sic)! HAHA! This is also why children cannot give consent either. (I love this spot now. George trolling the police is comedy gold.) Mr. Panda calls it an excellent description. Also funny. Also funny: He pronounces the same way George does. (Officer Panda, weither he realizes this or not, is our GEEK OF THE WEEK~!) Mrs. Grey Squirrel proclaims that they have lost dinosaurs in the back, which is codeword for the Evidence Room. They head into the evidence room and it has almost as much stuff as Mr. Fox's van. Almost. (I would reconsider that one, former self. It does have the Singing Fish.) There is also buried pirate treasure, which leads to a dream sequence of a human pirate with a red curly beard and pirate hat on a deserted island. (Yes, folks; this is the official debut of the human pirate, the third homo sapien on this entire show. And this show wonders why it's such an easy target for horror flick doods?!) This human pirate has zero idea where the treasure is, despite a big X drawn in the sand. The police are confused because they think the treasure is legally theirs and wonder why a pirate would never set foot in a police station. Which is clearly shown when the pirate outside the station teases opening the door; then backs off and walks away stage right. HAHA! These officers seriously think that the pirate treasure was gotten straight and legal by said pirate. Pirates clearly have a better idea of entrapment laws than these officers do. (Oooo, former self just did his "FUCK THE POLICE" sick burn for this show.) Jump cut back to the evidence room with a cement mixer found on a train. We also get a flashback of passengers getting out of the train, and the cement mixer is left there. Since Daddy Pig didn't blush on cue, it's clearly not his. (That's a relief. That concrete fetish is going to kill him worse than Mummy Pig landing on her head in Blackberry Bush if he's not careful. In fact, it's clearly Mr. Bull's since he left the train. Mummy Dog, Mr. Rhino, Mummy Zebra, Zuzu and Zaza Zebra also cameo here.)

Oh; and there was a banana in the shoe shop lying on a purple table; causing shock and awe to customers just looking at it. They couldn't believe a food item got into the shoe shop. Hell of a world this is?! (Cameos: Mr. Badger, Mummy Elephant, Edmond Elephant, Emily Elephant, Mummy Cat, Candy Cat, Richard Rabbit, Miss Rabbit, Mr. Rhino, Rohan Rhino (in another appearance), and Molly Mole who is the only one with boots on.) George bring everyone back to reality (no, not really) with pity sobs; but no tears and bawling this time. Mr. Panda asks what they were looking for and it's Mr. Dinesaur. Luckly; the officers find a box containing dinosaur models and one of them is clearly Richard's dinosaur buddy. Sadly; none of them are green, so George is out of luck. After some answers of no from George, George sulks and we head outside for the contracted Mr. Panda slams into lamp post and Mrs. Grey Squirrel giving the lamp post a stamp ticket to order someone to remove it. (Remember what I said about not finding an inanimate object she doesn't like to ticket?! It's the gift that keeps on giving. Kind of like Molly's burials of Kit Cloudkicker never failing to make me laugh.) Then they notice Daddy Pig's car and Mrs. Grey Squirrel asks the obvious question: Did you look in the car beforehand?! (Geez, another idiot plot to make the adult pigs GEEKS OF THE WEEK~!) Mummy Pig says no and Mrs. Grey Squirrel decides to impound the car to look for clues. She looks in the front and finds it's clean. (Not even bothering to check the backseat. Not that it matters though...) Then Mr. Panda asks Mummy Pig if he could open the boot of the car. That is the back of the car in case you are wondering. Mummy Pig says yes. (Sounding like she's gulity of something, too.) Mr. Panda opens the car and somehow finds Mr. Dinesaur in the boot of the car. How it got there, I don't know! However; this is the first time the police have looked like a million bucks on this show. Daddy Pig is all like "why didn't I think of that?" and thanks the officers for their service. (Like I said, Daddy Pig is dumb.) The police officers are like "it's just their jobs" as George growls with Mr. Dinesaur while the others laugh to end the episode at 4:30. That was a great ending to a good episode with a funny pirate segment. **** (80%).

When I Grow Up: Next up is episode #249 on the animation paper as the episode opens on the school house on the hill. We zoom in through the windows to see all the kids and this episode seems to be produced before Gerald Giraffe since he is nowhere to be seen. (Absent: Molly Mole, Zaza Zebra, Zuzu Zebra. I was hoping Gerald was in this episode so I could get my Toys R'Us kid cheap shot jokes in.) Gigi claps her hands and everyone sits down; because today's lesson is about being someone when they grow up. Which at this rate, will be a very long time. Gigi has a wooden basket calling the dressing up basket which contains costumes of cosplaying roles of growing up. All but Peppa get costumes from the dress up box. Yes, there is a dinosaur costume for George, a police officer for Freddy Fox and Emily wants to be a teacher. Peppa cannot decide who she wants to be. Apparently; a troll is not a profession to grow up with; which surprises me since Facebook's profit literally depends on trolls. (Oooo, former self doing a sick burn on social media. The dark web strikes again!) Rebecca Rabbit has a crown and wants to be queen. Well; if Miss Rabbit becomes the queen, I'm sure Rebecca will follow after Miss Rabbit passes away. Richard wants to be a foreman worker. Freddy makes siren noises and runs around for a while. (Freddy is not wrong about the telling people what to do. It's the rule of law, you see.) The running joke in all this that these jobs have one thing in common: They want to be the ones telling others what to do and Gigi is not amused by this. Word. (Well, Gigi Gazelle is supposed to be a teacher in storyline, so she was not cool with being connected to this tryant gag. Although if Rebecca Rabbit becomes queen, I wouldn't mind bending the knee to her. This Miss Rabbit multiple jobs gimmick has to end!) Suzy wants to be a nurse or doctor, so she can make them better...and tell them what to do. Basically you grow up so you can be the petty tyrant instead of being the victim of a petty tyrant. It might be justice, but it sounds like petty revenge. Gigi blows off this tyrant behavior because there are lots of jobs that don't do that. Danny Dog wants to be a pirate; but a normal pirate instead of an air pirate. Gigi nicely blows him off for that one. Besides; that's a job where telling people what to do is vital, or else, you suck at your job. Even the other jobs don't require that to be successful. Danny then chooses to be a farmer and tell the animals what to do. Well, animals don't have agency, so that's all right. (Former self is either joking or lacks self-awareness considering the show being mostly anthromorphic animals. It's a toss of the coin to see which one it is. Danny's tail was excited to tell animals what to do. That was distressing.) Gigi isn't thrilled by this.

Pedro wants to be a superhero; the worst job in the world. Pedro's response to Gigi's superhero traits is that he just wants to tell people what to do. You can tell right away that this is payback for all of Peppa's trolling and want to be these thing to make Peppa's life a living hell. (Good luck on that one, fools. There is a reason why the episodes in this show are called Peppasodes: Peppa is the star and everyone is a geek, especially the Queen.) Gigi realizes that this was a bad idea and ring the bell now! (Gigi Gazelle is our GEEK OF THE WEEK~! She fell on her own sword on this one.) The parents have arrived to collect the children as all the kids run out with their cosplaying things. George is still in his dinosaur costume; so he wants to be a mascot for the Creation Museum. Oh come on! You could see that one coming 2.5 kms away! (Ironically, the only one who doesn't want to tell people what to do. That's the boss' gimmick, which George is not the boss.) Mummy Pig is here to meet and greet Peppa and George and George knows exactly what he wants to be. Peppa doesn't and that makes her not like this lesson. Jump cut to the boring road as Mummy Pig is driving the car and Peppa is in the back seat asking Mummy Pig about her job and she works on the computer. Peppa asks if she tells people what to do and Mummy Pig says no. That's what the computer is for, Peppa. Peppa isn't amused by this either. Peppa has lots of time to think about it; but Peppa is impatient; which is a sign that technology has made progress go way too fast in areas that don't need it. Actual social justice is another matter; that is way too slow. We head to the house on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) and into the bathroom. I was hoping that George would wear the dinosaur costume for the rest of the life and even in bed; but he took it off before we see him brushing his teeth. That made me sad, more sad than Peppa's indecision that is for sure. Peppa asks Daddy Pig about his job while Peppa is brushing her teeth. Daddy Pig insists that it's too boring; but Peppa is ready for anything now. Daddy Pig explains his job and once again, he cannot resist mentioning the payoff is that it must be set in concrete. Hey; it's his kink and I can accept it as long as he doesn't wade into actual concrete ever again. (In other words, you'll be fine when Daddy Pig becomes a criminal. More to come on that front.) Peppa is not thrilled as the babyfaces all go into Peppa's bedroom and Peppa and George are tucked in for the night. Peppa finally makes her decision: Be a champion muddy puddle jumper. Of course! Maybe she can win the big one without having it fourteen on one advantage kids over Doctor Elephant this time, unlike in The Golden Boots. (I have heard worse jobs than this.) Night-night as Daddy Pig turns off the lights and leaves. We zoom out to the shot at the house on the all as the narrator sums up the dreams to end the episode at 4:30. This was an okay episode; but I assure you that almost none of these jobs involve being a tyrant. Except maybe being a pirate, or a professional troll. *** (60%).

The Ambulance: This is episode #250 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the school house on the hill. We zoom in as all the big kids in the show are dancing and giggling. Gigi claps her hands and informs the children that Quack Doctor Par Excellence: Doctor Brown Bear is coming in to show them an ambulance. Probably the same one used to bring in when someone whines and complains about a cartoon for no reason whatsoever. (Uh-oh! This episode would prove to be the last episode for Doctor Brown Bear before he retires to give Doctor Polar Bear the reins. Let's just say that this creditability is zero now. Even Doctor Hamster has some creditability left, even if it's nearing zero at this point.) This leads to Molly Mole and Peppa Pig having a contest to see who can mangle the pronouncation of the word the most and the worst. It looks like a draw so far. (Yippee! All the big kids made an appearance. George, Richard, Edmond, Zuza and Zaza are absent.) Freddy asks about the sound being present and Gigi cuts him off saying "yes". (Freddy did a much better job pronouncing the word than Peppa and Molly combined.) Oh; and the wailing siren sounds are on as we head outside with Dr. Brown Bear driving the ambulance up the hill and remembers not to park on the steepest side of the hill! Someone in this show is smart enough not to do that. I thought Doctor Brown Bear would park it on the steepest side of the hill and forget to put on the brakes in the process. Everyone comes out in front of the school as we meet, greet and exchange notes for a while. Freddy gets his wish on the siren, and it is done by remote control. Can this be done in real life?! I hope not; I can easily see this being abused by some prankster, or a Freddy Fox wannabe. (Oh crap!) Gigi asks Doctor Brown Bear to cosplay a real emergency and Doctor Brown Bear brings out a Teddy Bear that looks like the one Peppa took care of in a previous episode and the bouncy ball of death. (It's Teddy Playgroup, former self.) We cosplay for a while as Freddy adds sound effects to the proceedings. I'm pretty sure that real EMTs would treat this a lot more seriously than Doctor Brown Bear just did. (Standards & Practies, former self. Don't forget it. Speaking of BS&P: They treat the bear as hurt, while wrapping up the arm of the bear as if he had a broken arm. Yup, the tone down of this show has started and I blame Nickelodeon for executive meddling here. Watch Health Check and the cowardice of the writers in that episode!) Also of note: Doctor Brown Bear puts the ball behind him, which is just daring for Doctor Brown Bear to trip and roll down the hill to damage his entire body. The kids are sitting down probably waiting for Doctor Brown Bear to do the stupid act. (When even the kids know what is coming, you know Doctor Brown Bear is cooked, roasted and might as well be BBQ'ed.)

After thank yous and clapping, Doctor Brown Bear tells them to look where they are going...and then doesn't disappoint the audience by turning around, tripping on the ball and rolls awkwardly down the hill like a stupid idiot. Somehow; despite never being seen in this show; the hill where the school is has a giant patch of blackberries for Doctor Brown Bear to roll around, giving him thorns in his body. (SUZY SHEEP~?! I should note that the blackberry bushes exist when Doctor Brown Bear arrived, but never in any other episode involving Playgroup!) Doctor Brown Bear is a clumsy clogs~! Doctor Brown Bear then rolls into a tree, concusses himself at least twenty times with the tree and apples falling on his head and the kids just simply point this out, sounding slightly concerned about his health and well being. (That is a slight improvement from the end of Simple Science! How about that in empathy growth?! Yup, Doctor Brown Bear's days as a doctor are over.) Then just to add more insult and injury to insult and injury; the bouncy ball bounces off Brown Bear's tummy. Ow! Gigi demands that someone call an ambulance and then catches herself, because it's right in front of them. Everyone gets in and Gigi backs up the ambulance (complete with sirens; which was Freddy's idea no doubt) towards the tree. I'm shocked that didn't hit Brown Bear. (Oh, that would be massively sucked and Doctor Brown would be really hating life and wishing for MAID.) Everyone then gets out and Brown Bear stands up and claims that he's fine. I disagree; that dood needs the quiet room right now! Gigi sits him down because Gigi is going to do the checkup routine as before, and the students will help. This is not going to end well for Doctor Brown Bear; going by the various episodes I have seen in the past when the non-doctors try to do the doctor's work. The kids basically go through the same routine Doctor Brown Bear told them and Doctor Brown Bear sounds extremly grumpy while saying this, until finally the kids asks where he is hurt. Doctor Brown Bear admits that he's hurt badly, mostly the legs, arm and head. The kids wrap him up like a mummy in bandages as I plead for them to put him in the quiet room. Just to top off the irony; the kids and Gigi slap stickers on Doctor Brown Bear's body for being brave, and this might have hurt more than the rolling, There are even stickers on his face as Gigi wants the children to thank Doctor Brown Bear for the demonstration (both ways) and Doctor Brown Bear is a good sport in spite of almost getting himself killed. I don't think everyone loves ambulances though. Everyone except Doctor Brown Bear does the backsplash laugh. Apparently; Freddy had the remote control in his pants because as he did the backsplash laugh, the siren turns on. Of course! This ends the episode at 4:30. This was funny for the most part; and Doctor Brown Bear pretty much got what was coming, but he needs the quiet room now. (Well, there's one more episode where he gets cooked again, although that one was more of doctors in general getting cooked. Oh lookie, it's the next episode.)*** 1/2 (70%).

Doctors: We continue on with episode #251 on the animation paper as we head to the school house on the hill and all the kids run out of the school house giggling down the hill into an area filled with bushes, trees, muddy puddles, and a bouncy rubber ball. (Absent: Molly Mole, Freddy Fox, Zaza Zebra, Zuzu Zebra. Will the Zebra twin toddlers ever attend PlayGroup?! TUNE INTO SOFT COPY TO FIND OUT~! Wendy Wolf is skipping rope, I should note.) Peppa is at the tree with Pedro F'N Pony as we hear squeak sounds. They look up and it's Tiddles the Tortoise climbing trees again. Since the tree is small enough; Pedro has a "Clueless Plan" to get Tiddles down after Peppa called the tortoise naughty; despite the fact that Tiddles is doing what tortoises do on a regular basis: shake the tree up, as opposed to chopping the tree down; which is Suzy's gimmick. Pedro shakes the tree up; Peppa is questioning this and Tiddles falls; bonks right into Pedro's face, knocks Pedro's glasses off his face and the glasses fall into the muddy puddle, while Tiddles is on it's back on the grass area. You got all that?! (Yup. It worked. Just made Doctor Hamster look like a geek and she isn't even in this episode. Yet.) Apparently; Pedro has a broken nose to match his broken clue maker, although the later seems to be terminal. (Ooo, Pedro Pony needs some ice packs after that sick burn. That nose injury is mild in comparsion.) Gigi is concerned about this so much that she brings out her cell phone and calls for Doctor Brown Bear. Oh goody; because that is what this show needs: More Doctor Brown Bear insulting doctors the world over. Pedro has a bumped nose. You can say it's broken, since Pedro had a broken leg in a previous episode. Seriously! Did BS&P finally step in and said no more breaking bones?! (Answer: Yes, since later on during a Christmas episode which turned out to be the last episode with Peppa Pig voiced by Harley Bird; Peppa Pig teased a broken arm and they kept calling it a bumped arm. It's so obvious that it is absurd.) Doesn't matter because it's Doctor Brown Bear to the rescue in his ambulance car. At least there was zero traffic to the area this time around. Doctor Brown Bear arrives and asks for the patient. Pedro's nose is pulsing now as Doctor Brown Bear notices him and wants him to say "ahhh..." His nose is hurt, not his throat. Doctor Brown Bear then gives him a green plaster (band-aid in North America) on Pedro's nose and Pedro is much better. Wow; that was an awesome plabeco there, Doc! (I hope former self realizes that the "burn out" article posted was a light-hearted tongue firmly in cheek article, because here, Doctor Brown Bear is forced to adhere to standards and practices from Nickelodeon on this show.)

Pedro puts his glasses back on and they are all muddy, so Pedro cannot see. Instead of finding some water and a cloth to wipe the glasses clean; Gigi wants Doctor Brown Bear to fix Pedro's glasses. Because you see, wiping glasses clean requires someone with expertise and we need Daddy Pony to show up in this episode, since he's an optometrist. Doctor Brown Bear is an all-purpose doctor; not a specialist in eyes, you see. Oh, the irony! Someone calls Doctor Pony in his office and Doctor Pony is on the case straight away. (It's likely Gigi Gazelle on the cell phone like she called Doctor Brown Bear earlier.) I swear there are a hundred people in this entire area, despite having enough resources for ten thousand people! Oh; and Dr. Pony also has an ambluance type car, only it's yellow and has the ABC orange logo on the side. It also has a police siren. Dr. Pony parks beside Doctor Brown Bear's car and talks to his son as Pedro claims that his glasses are not working. Dr. Pony brings out the eyechart and Pedro no sells because his glasses are all muddy dammit. Dr. Pony takes the glasses and wipes them clean with a cloth and they work again! I realize that experts are awesome and you should listen to them; but, Gigi and Doctor Brown Bear have to be completely clueless dolts to not know how to wipe glasses. Pedro, I can understand since his eye sight is terrible without them and you want to be careful; but everyone else?! Talk about cowards! (Oh, now I see why former self gave this episode **. Understandable in this case because anyone can wipe mud off of glasses.) We finally wrap this ep...Oh wait; there is still two minutes to go and Tiddles is still in distress. Of course; they cannot flip the tortoise on it's legs because you need a vet to do it. Of course! Poor, Tiddles; the people who could help it, cannot because expertise rules. Or something. (Like the gecko in an earlier Series episode, Tiddles now suffers from professional wrestling syndrome and a ref should count the fall because it's a pin!)We call Doctor Hamster at her office and I just love that they completely didn't tell her that Tiddles was the tortoise that were talking about, because she's responsible for that tortoise! (Can you not bury Doctor Hamster any further, show?! This is animal abuse now.) Doctor Hamster hangs up and is on her way with a legit ambulance; only all green with a yellow cross on it. I also love that her bag has a yellow cross with a pink background circle; but the background items have green crosses on it. Ooops.

Doctor Hamster arrives and parks beside Doctor Pony's car and hops out. We meet and greet to kill time; I don't know why, Tiddles is right in front of Doctor Hamster. License needing revoking, I doubt that will happen. Pedro explains that he fell out of a tree, completely ignoring the fact that he was the one who shook Tiddles out of the tree! Because Pedro lied, Doctor Hamster blames Tiddles for climbing trees again! WHAT?! Pedro was the one who shook Tiddles out of the tree and it landed on it's back. This is ALL on Pedro. (Okay, the part where Pedro shook the tree is all on Pedro F'N Pony. Tiddles can climb trees on his own without Pedro's help, Climbing the tree is 50% on Tiddles and 50% on Doctor Hamster not keeping tabs on Tiddles to prevent this from happening!) I hope Suzy understands now why everyone was blowing her off for wanting the chop the tree down. (So that Suzy doesn't get a broken nose?!) Doctor Hamster just flips Tiddles over onto his feet and that is that. Wow; that so required an expert now, didn't it?! Standard procedure indeed! Then more sirens and in comes Doctor Elephant in his dentist ambulance car parking beside Doctor Hamster. Doctor Elephant gets out and asks if there is an emergency; but there is not. (The fact that everyone is smiling indicates some one did a crank call. SUZY SHEEP~?!) Doctor Elephant walks back into his car. What was the point of....Oh wait; now Doctor Elephant's car won't start and these doctor have no expertise in fixing cars. At least THIS next doctor makes perfect sense as Gigi is on her cell phone again to call Granddad Dog and his Breakdown Truck of Saves~! (Why did they bother with this when any of the other cars could have easily broken down?! This was clearly done to kill time in a five minute episode.) Granddad Dog answers the phone in his office, and he's on the case as he gets into his Breakdown Truck of Saves and more siren noises ensue. He drives and remembers to park further back from the cars this time. He comes out to meet and greet everyone and checks the engines. He tells Doctor Elephant to start the engine. No go. Granddad Dog twists a nut on the engine prop. Try again. Doctor Elephant restarts the engine and now it works. A nut was loose; and I'm not talking about Pedro's clue maker either. (Pedro Pony is not a Sony Pony, former self. No need to sick burn him nor Doctor Pony.) Peppa proclaims that Granddad Dog is a car doctor. All the kids and Gigi do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. Ironically; Granddad Dog is a better doctor than ANY of these other doctors in this show. Way to bury the profession there, guys! ** 1/4 (45%).

Super Potato: Here is episode #252 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the school house on the hill. We zoom in as every kid except Molly Mole and Gerald Giraffe are sitting down. (Absent: Zoe Zebra, Emily Elephant, Zuzu and Zaza Zebra.) Gigi is here to introduce everyone favorite health guru, Mr. Potato. (Remember what I said about this giant potato getting baked?! Yup, this is the episode where he gets baked.) Apparently; fruits is just fruit in the pural sense in Britian; unless Gigi is doing the Magica Despell gimmick. Mr. Potato is going to show off a movie called Super Potato, because that's how all health information is taught in school. Just telling facts is not enough anymore, you have to dress it in Hollywood Science in order to get it over. Shake head and witness Super Potato being just another potato in a mask, suit and cape. Behind a white star. Who's heroics involve saving hats and giving them back to female carrots. Pfft; whatever. (Speaking of rigid gender roles...Speaking of Hollywood, Peppa Pig will be going to Hollywood at the beginning of Series Seven!) Super Potato has a "five a day" message. Fruits and veggies, including brocolli. The kids clap after all this as Mr. Potato proclaims that he has a very special guest and the kids are so used to being disappointed that they think it's their parents. Mr. Potato points out that this is not the case. Geez; Mr. Potato has a childish temper here. I hope he's not Donald Trump in disguise; that would be bad. (Nah, Mr. Potato is just dumb, not vile. Mr. Potato's American Exceptionalism is showing to boot!) Apparently, Super Potato is going to make an appearance. 2:1 odds it's Mr. Potato in the Super Potato costume. (Oh how wrong former self turned out to be...sort of.) Mr. Potato goes outside and takes off his hat. He slams the door as the kids chant Super Potato. Then the door opens and see, I can book this crap! Super Potato request that the children ask questions about fruit and veggies and so everyone trolls on Super Potato by asking about jumping tall building and other superhero stuff. Everytime this happens; Super Potato completely translates this to fruit and veggie speak, so to speak. (I love this. The kids don't care about Super Potato, the educator because they know what the deal is. They care about Super Potato, the character because he's likable. Christians don't care about God: the character at all, they only care about what God says, a basic "how to be God" book. Atheists care a lot more about God: the character than Christians do. Because God is the most unpleasant character in the biz. Even Chargeman Ken would be likable if the writers didn't pigeonhole him into total "white savior" mode. Christians use God as a puppet, Atheists uses scissors to cut the strings.) Apparently; Brussel Sprouts ability makes you run fast. I call shenigans on this one. Suzy realizes what Super Potato is doing and asks if he ever ate a potato. Which in storyline would be cannabalism...and Super Potato responds by singing and dancing. (She got to him. Awesome!)

Yup; Mr. Potato is making an ass out of himself and Suzy's trolling has paid off. I betcha Peppa is jealous on that one. Edmond continues the carnage by pointing out that doctors recommend seven servings, because Mr. Potato is a quack and Edmond is a clever clogs. (Sadly, this "eat your seven" gag would never make it past this episode. I was disgusted by this, it was a funny gag. Although to be fair, Havard recommends eating five now. It looks like someone thought seven was better and the research was done, and it came out as "five is fine, seven is overkill". Seven is also fine. It's still better than seven meat or bread, that is for sure.) Super Potato tries to sing the line and it's completely off-key; a take that to Hollywood Science. Gigi apparently is no longer buying this Super Potato thing; but wants more clapping. Slower this time, though. Super Potato finally opens the door; cuts a promo and leaves, slamming the door. Gigi proclaims that Super Potato has left the building, but the damage he did to his reputation will live on forever. The door opens and in comes Mr. Potato claiming that he missed Super Potato. No; I'm sure the stink left in Super Potato has not missed you one bit Mr. Potato. Mr. Potato thanks them and walks out; and into the smallest red car of all time. He closes the glass dome and tries to start the engine, but it won't start. Worse; the engine is connected to the glass dome, so he cannot even get out of the car, period. Mr. Potato is going to die! I told you that car was a death trap! (At least Gyro UFO in Ducktales was much safer than this death trap of a car. That car might be built in Thembria.) The kids are chanting for Super Potato now as Mr. Potato is screaming for help. I cannot tell if they are trolling or they really don't know Mr. Potato and Super Potato are the same person. (I don't think they care either way. Mr. Potato is cooked, roasted, baked and BBQ'ed worse than Doctor Brown Bear, without the grace of retirement like Doctor Brown is getting.) Gigi claims that this will not work; but the kids don't care. Gigi tries it; it doesn't work and then suddenly something comes out of the sky and it is in fact Super Potato in the flesh. Yes folks; Super Potato in this world is real. That's just peachy! I just love that he claims that his veggie vision helped him despite literally being inches away from the car. (If that was a troll move, well done Super Potato.) Super Potato uses his "fruity strength", pops the glass dome off, Mr. Potato hops out and is saved. Super Potato cuts his usual promo and the kids join in. This is followed by the same dumb song Mr. Potato sang earlier and Edmond just has to say "seven". HAHA! Sing again as it's awkward and everyone laughs to end the episode at 4:30. (Yes, the song extended into the end credits! AWESOME!) This was fun; but Mr. Potato has been exposed for having the crappiest car in existance. Who would allow the engine to be connected to the glass dome?! (Preach, BABEE, preach! This episode was much better on the second viewing, just for the climax and Edmond Elephant's gag. Shame on the writers for the "seven" promo to be a one off! **** 1/4 (85%).)

Grampy Rabbit's Hovercraft: Next up is episode #253 on the animation paper as the episode opens at a parking lot near the sea. There are boat house with oars attached to the house. Grandpa Pig's car arrives and parks as Grandpa Pig, Peppa and George all get out. The narrator tells us that the kids are out on a trip on Grandpa Pig's sailing boat. Peppa and George are wearing white shoes and lifejackets already, while Grandpa Pig is only wearing white shoes and his normal gear. (How long is this show going to wait until they take the hint that adults have to wear lifejackets too?! Especially since Nickelodeon is involved.) We meet and greet with two new characters: Mrs. Corgi; I assume is a Pembroke Welsh Corgi and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): The Pembroke Welsh Corgi is a cattle herding dog breed which originated in Pembrokeshire, Wales. It is one of two breeds known as a Welsh Corgi. The other is the Cardigan Welsh Corgi, and both descend from the line that is the northern spitz-type dog. She's wearing a candy cane-equse dress with red/white sailor beret. The other is Mr. Stallion who is a grey horse anthro wearing a blue naval uniform and blue/white sailor beret, all are on their respective sailing boats. (Another episode I ranted on out of order clearly since in episode order, this is their second major speaking appearance on the show and third appearance overall.) Okay; here's an obvious logic break: When George got out of the car, he had no hat on. Ten seconds later; he has the black pirate's hat on. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) Mr. Stallion calls Grandpa Pig an old bean and Peppa is gravely offended by this slur. Grandpa Pig claims that it means "old friend"; but they aren't really friends, they merely attend the same sailing club as he shows his club card. (In the background there is Mummy and Daddy Wolf on a sailing boat, but no Wendy Wolf for some reason.) Grandpa Pig has another problem anyway: Where is his boat?! Peppa asks what his boat looks like and Grandpa claims that it has a little red flag on top of the mast. Peppa then spots the flag on the mast; and Grandpa Pig's boat has sunk. I wonder if Mr. Stallion had anything to do with this. (I'm pinning the blame on Grampy Rabbit since he likes sinking thingies, like his metal submarine.) The sailing boat trip has been cancelled forever and the kids groan.

But, wait! There is honking and here comes Grampy Rabbit in his hovercraft wearing piloting gear, like he was in an airplane. (Speaking of sinkers...) He flies in between the two cars and that causes the alarm sirens to go off. Mr. Stallion blows off Grampy and his montrosity while Mrs. Corgi is questioning the legality of this sailing ship while swaying about when the hovercraft passes them. Grampy meets and greets Peppa; whose frown has reached 0.3 Rock Lobster Yeti at this point. Grampy asks why is Peppa sad. Peppa explains that Grandpa Pig's boat has been sunk by someone, probably that nasty stallion anthro who called Grandpa Pig old bean, too. Grampy tells them not to worry; they can hop aboard his hovercraft. The kids hop in at once, Grandpa Pig thinks this is a bad idea. However; the craft starts and Grandpa Pig either hopped in when the hovercraft moved, or did a flip bump into the hovercraft. Either way; Grandpa Pig is in the hovercraft as we ramp off the dock into the water and everything is fine. Seriously; Grampy Rabbit means it to. Disregard that tiny part that flew off the hovercraft, it's not needed; like Mr. Stallion's flattery. (Oooo, sick burn on the snob there. Personally, I think that was just there so it could fly off. I'm not buying that it should have been there in the first place.) Geez; Grampy Rabbit build this hovercraft, I feel like I'm in good hands here. Sort of not. Grandpa Pig is protesting this outrage, because Grampy Rabbit is not a member of the sailing club. Grampy end arounds him by pointing out that Grandpa Pig is and as long as he's in the hovercraft, Grampy's sailing is perfectly legal. (Kit Cloudkicker would have been proud of that end around, it's so uncanny to his in "The Bigger They Are, The Louder They Oink". You can tell how much I love Grampy Rabbit by the amount of times I reference him to TaleSpin characters.) I hope this is true; because it's not a water logged episode without Grampy Rabbit around. (The kids don't care, they love it. The characters or the audience?! Does it matter?! Ummm...nope.) Somehow; in a wacky teleport, Mrs. Corgi and Mr. Stallion are now meeting each other in the middle of the sea in their ships, instead of at the dock. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) They exchange pleasure thoughts on the sea; but those are dashed when Grampy Rabbit sails in between both of them in his hovercraft. HAHA! (Hey, they are the heel group of this outfit since the Granddad Dog feud with Grandpa Pig was a total failure, so I have no sympathy for those rich snobs.) They protest this outrage; and are not pleased to see Grandpa Pig sailing in with them. That causes Grandpa Pig to blush. HAHA!

Grampy Rabbit wants some juice and calls the Sailing Club Cafe on the island up ahead, a shed. (That was also funny.) Grandpa Pig blows Grampy off and tells him that it's for members only. Grampy Rabbit don't care, lands on the island and destroys the red colored stool (NOT THAT ONE!) in the process. (Actually, the rubber raft deflated and smothered the real stool; but didn't destroy it.) In Britian, glasses are beakers and Grampy Rabbit wants four glasses filled with juice. The juice bar clerk no sells because it's members only. (By the way, the juice bar clerk is the debut of Mr. Hyrax, whom everyone seems to mis-spieces on this show, including former self. Mr. Hyrax would be in a similar category of animal that Ralph and Kathy Throgmorton were in the TaleSpin episode "On A Wing & A Bear".) Grampy points out that Grandpa Pig is. Grandpa Pig brings out his card, and the clerk sells and gives them four beakers of pineapple juice. (Grandpa Pig is our GEEK OF THE WEEK, but it's so hilarious that it was worth it. One of the few times being a geek actually was a good thing.) Grampy takes one and is so happy about this. (Grampy Rabbit also sounds like a stereotypical Canadian, "eh". Even though in storyline, Canada doesn't exist.) He talks about how awesome sailing in and Peppa has to be the one to leave the bouncy ball in the punch bowl. Because you see, there's no wind and the sailing boats in the middle of the sea are stuck. Mr. Stallion and Mrs. Crogi are screaming for help and Peppa proclaims that Grampy Rabbit must rescue them. Grampy Rabbit don't care and calls this a good idea anyway; because he's Grampy Rabbit. He has no care about his own well being, since he's too old to care. (Grampy Rabbit channels Baloo in his promo I should note.) Yeah; insults don't faze him as he drives past the juice bar club and goes over to the sailing boats as there is no sense of continuity anywhere, as if he teleported back to the western side of the boats. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) Mr. Stallion and Mrs. Corgi throw their ropes to Grampy. Grampy catches them, ties the lines to his hovercraft, tows the boat onto the dock and drags them to the parking lot where they are in front of their cars so they don't have to drive so far. Got all that?! The pigs all get out as Grandpa Pig blows Grampy Rabbit off for being an idiot. (Good point there, Grandpa Geek Pig~!) Mr. Stallion and Mrs. Corgi come in to demand answers to this outrage. Grandpa Pig blushes and apologizes profusely, but the sailors are happy to be rescued as they introduce themselves formally. They also call each other old beans. Then they do the cheering spot and everyone except Grampy Rabbit does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. Sadly; no one knows who did Mrs. Corgi nor Mr. Stallion's voice. (I do, it's John Sparkles for the stallion and Morweena Banks for the corgi.) Grampy Rabbit is still awesome in this show, though. **** 1/2 (90%).

Playgroup Star: Last up is episode #254 on the animation paper as the episode opens on the school house on the hill. We zoom in through a window to see all the kids playing with blocks, painting pictures, making clay stuff and in Emily's case; looking around and all of them are giggling. (Absent: Edmond Elephant, Candy Cat, Molly Mole, Zoe Zebra, Zaza Zebra, Zuzu Zebra. It's also 2 PM on the rainbow clock.) Peppa just finished painting a drawing of a house. Sadly; she lies about herself and her family being at same house, since we don't see them. Still; Gigi loves the picture and it's a fine picture, all things considered. Gigi notices the lie and Peppa covers it up by claiming that they are inside the house. Yeah; I'll bet. Still a decent picture. Gigi gives a smiling star which is known as a "playgroup star" and Peppa likes it. George painted a blue cyclone basically. (Or former self didn't have the gall to say a badly drawn blue sky.) we jump cut to outside as the adults arrive in their cars since playgroup is over. Mummy and Daddy Pig walk in and admire Peppa getting a playgroup star, which causes Mummy Pig to flashback to her days as a child in Madame Gazelle's classroom painting a picture of a pineapple anthro with a face. (Daughter Pig, since she's not a mother yet.) Son Pig (Daddy Pig, since he's not a father yet) is painting what looks like a green dragon. More evidence that Gigi was a vampire: Despite being in the past, Gigi hasn't aged a day. She looks exactly the same then as now. Mummy Pig gets a playgroup star and then we return to reality (no, not really) as Mummy Pig apparently got lots of playgroup stars. I can believe that. But when the question goes to Daddy Pig; he blushes. A telltale sign that he never won one and Daddy Pig claims that he cannot remember one instance of getting a playgroup star, which means that he got none. Mummy Pig basically admits that Daddy Pig didn't get one and then the sad music plays and we flashback to Daddy Pig not getting a playgroup star. I just love how Mr. Zebra is already looking like the post officer and Doctor Elephant is in the same clothes as an adult, only smaller. Mr. Rhino looks reasonable and they all won playgroup stars over Daddy Pig. Geez; Gigi didn't really like Daddy Pig after all. (What a troll Gigi is?! That picture looks no worse than Peppa's picture and she got a playgroup star. This gives away the finish well in advance and it's a really silly one at that.)

We return to reality as Mummy Pig is being diplomatic about this and Peppa Pig stomps her foot in anger over this. You see, playgroup stars are very important! In what way, Peppa?! Are they extra credit toward one's diploma?! Because if so; then Daddy Pig outsmarted you all since there is no evidence that he was a dropout or failure in school. In fact; he is a architech and designs blueprints for his job as director of building a house! (Yeah, he's only a geek every episode because he brainfarts once in a while. Everyone has that problem and being better works.) No one is buying what Peppa is selling. (Yup, the finish is simply Gigi just forgot. It's so obvious and the evidence is mounting.) Mummy Pig is right, they are not important. Maybe to Peppa; but that's because it's the only "test" Peppa has had in this world. (Daddy Pig proclaims that he was proud of doing great things in his life, and the "wah-wah" sound comes out of nowhere. I don't know why, but that was funny!) The Pig family goes outside and Peppa is insisting that Daddy Pig draw a picture to get the playgroup star, but Daddy Pig proclaims that grownups can NEVER get that playgroup star and they are only for children. (Word.) Meanwhile; Mr. Bull has been fixing the roof...AGAIN! (Why does anyone trust Mr. Bull to repair anything when he is the most destructive man in this show?! This is mind boggling to me.) Mr. Bull climbs down the ladder as Gigi is thankful for him; that she gives him a playgroup star. Gigi is implying that Mr. Bull is a manchild!? Considering his attitude towards Daddy Pig; this would be apporo; even if it's really insulting to anyone else. (Especially since Mr. Bull never gets paid in money for it.) Peppa points it out right away and Daddy Pig sighs as we head back to the house on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Daddy Pig is tucking Peppa and George in their bunk beds in Peppa's room. Peppa continues to ask about the playgroup star and now even Daddy Pig concedes that he should have gotten that star because he loves to make things. Well, except mix concrete after Simple Science of course. (Oh, he hasn't stopped mixing concrete if Parking Ticket is any indication.)

Then Daddy Pig remembers that he might have kept the picture in the loft (attic in North America) and goes up the attic with Peppa and George following. (This is hilarious considering that even in the earlier series, it was called an attic even in Britian.) Daddy Pig finds his old school bag (book bag in North America) and opens it to reveal the dragon picture he painted in the flashback; perfectly preserved mind you. Damn; those bags were air tight back then, weren't they?! (SUZY SHEEP~?!) Peppa is sad about the picture not getting a playgroup star and even Daddy Pig isn't thrilled about it. Jump cut to morning as all the adults and children head to the school house on the hill. Peppa and George hop in as Suzy is blowing off Peppa for being too good of a drawer, but Peppa insists that Daddy Pig drew this dragon and Suzy then blows off Daddy Pig for not being good enough. Pfft! (Because Suzy was assuming like the sheep's ass that she can be that Daddy Pig drew it as a grownup instead of a child. Thus the wah-wah sound. I would love to say that Suzy is the geek of the week. However...) Peppa explains that Daddy drew this when he was a child and Suzy recoils on cue and praises the drawing. Gigi comes in praising Peppa for the drawing; Peppa explains that it's Daddy Pig's from a long time ago. Now; if I was booking this, Gigi should have said "I ran out of stars that day and just forgot all about it!" and gave him the overdue playgroup star he deserved to correct this. Now; she does give Daddy Pig the playgroup star here; but acts like she gave him one which Daddy Pig insisted that she didn't. It makes her look like a jerk and she's trying to make up for it, instead of having it be some event beyond everyone's control. (Gigi Gazelle is our GEEK OF THE WEEK~!) Yes; Daddy Pig is so proud and happy that he blushes on cue. The kids and Gigi are in awe and then all of them do the backsplash laugh. All the absentees from the beginning scene have returned to school to end the episode at 4:30. (Except for Molly Mole, Zaza Zebra and Zuzu Zebra of course.) Stupid finish aside; this was a very good episode. *** 1/2 (70%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; this was a really good mix of Peppa Pig episodes this time around. Grampy Rabbit's Hovercraft was awesome because of Grampy Rabbit being Grampy Rabbit, and the two new sailors didn't care at the end despite their snobby attitudes. Super Potato is much better on the second viewing, mostly due to Edmond's "seven" gag that never got past that episode and seeing Mr. Potato absolutely get wrecked by the kids and then his own car. It's going to get worse for Mr. Potato since there is still the infamous "The Carnival" episode left in the joke gun. Police Station was fabulous that was a very good episode with a really funny pirate gag, Mrs. Grey Squirrel continuing to be the gift that keeps on giving and a lovely finish that put the police over for good now. Grandpa Pig's Pond was my standard "below average due to no twist in the gnome gimmick" and Doctor felt insulting to me as it buried the profession. The rest are fun episodes. It's been a while since we had two bad episodes on this show. So...

Thumbs up for Grampy Rabbit's Hovercraft, Super Potato and Police Station; thumbs down for Doctors and Grandpa Pig's Pond; thumbs in the middle for everything else and I'll see you all next time.

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