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Twenty Years Of Muddy Puddles: Peppa Pig Series Six #1 Rant

Reviewed: 12/01/2019
Additional Commentary/Edited: 09/11/2024

Time To Really Marble Run The Show!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Finally, a number of episodes from Series Six has flood my tubes. Today's work involves the debut of Peggi and Pandora Panda (the kids of Officer Panda), a Chinese New Year, Mandy Mouse, recorders, funny music, the infamous "relaxation class" episode, the infamous "My Daddy's A Criminal!" episode, flowers, muddy puddles, father's day and the first marble run of this series. How do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Reminder Moment #1: Series Six also saw some changes in the voices at this point. George Pig is also voiced by Vincent van Hulzen and this is his debut and only appearance. Freddy Fox is voiced by Charlie Stewart and this is his debut and only appearance. Candy Cat is voiced by Tallulah Conabeare and has two appearances: this show and as Evan in The Big Bad Fox & Other Tales.

The Panda Twins: First up is episode #265 and #266 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the school house on the hill with all the kids entering the school house via the front door from the parent's cars. Gigi is at the front door carrying her purse as two panda anthros in red and yellow dresses arrive from the east. They are addressed as Peggi and Pandora Panda and look to be the first twins who are more or less the same age as Peppa on this show. Peggi and Pandora Panda are voiced by Chelsy Orfinada and this is her debut and only appearance. (2024 Gregory Weagle Says: They are the only twins who are four years old I should note.) Officer Panda is there, wishes them good luck and keep their eyes and ears open. (The Panda Twins also wiggle their ears in response.) Because opening their minds might make their brains fall out. Closing them might eliminate blood flow to the brain, so maybe be in between the two here. The purpose of Gigi's purse seems to be to have Gigi's cellphone on retainer to ring Officer Panda in when Playgroup is over and to give status reports. Gigi, Pandora (in yellow) and Peggi (in red) walk in as almost all the kids are here to meet and greet the two Pandas. (Only Zuzu and Zaza Zebra are absent. We need a storyline reasons for the Zebra twins not being at playgroup because they are never at school for some reason.) Peggi is the one who first breaks the ice, so Pandora seems more reserved than Peggi at this point. Pandora answers Peppa's first comment by saying that they are identical twins and the two Pandas hold hands. (I just love how Peppa acts like this is the first time she has seen twins, despite Zuzu and Zaza Zebra being twins, along with Rosie and Robbie Rabbit, twins whom Peppa helped name.) Suzy asks if people get them mixed up and the Peggi claims that they do sometimes, which in cartoons seems to happen too often even when identical twins are not involved, as seen in Mind Your Cheese's & Q's in Chip & Dale's Rescue Rangers. Gigi offers the two Pandas first dibs on what to do today and Peggi and Pandora love mysteries, puzzles and detective work; which makes sense since their father is a police officer. Gigi suggest that they break the ice with a jigsaw puzzle.

I just love how the box looks like a hundred piece jigsaw puzzle, but when they open the box, it's literally four giant puzzle pieces. Come on show! You know better than that. (I realize this is a pre-school show, but this makes the kids who get it wrong look like idiots. Double the pieces to eight at least!) Pedro and Rebecca cannot get the sun and cloud pieces together; so Peggi and Pandora suggest they turn the puzzle pieces around. They do, and they fit perfectly. Danny and someone else puts the puzzle together upon the Panda's suggestions and the puzzle is complete. It's Pedro's house on the hill on a sunny day with one cloud. Very Pedro Pony-ish. (I'm glad former self figured out whose house it is because I couldn't since the door was shown in the front instead of the side like all houses do in this show.) Gigi praises their work as Peggi and Pandora do a flashback involving the Panda Twins with Constable Panda at the police station, basically to remind the audience about their relationship with their father. (By the way, Gigi gets the twins mixed up as Pandora is now in red and Peggi is now in yellow. It also doesn't help that the Panda Twins are voiced by the same person.) Back to reality (no, not really) as Freddy wants to be a police officer and apparently, all the kids love the sound of sirens because they sound very British to them. Okay, then we get the stupidest thing ever: Gigi wants to phone in Officer Panda to inform him how the Panda Twins are doing. That's not the stupid part, I can fully understand the reasons behind that. The problem is: The purse is clear in the background on a table about five feet away from Gigi! Yet Gigi has to act like she cannot find her purse and believe that her cell phone is in her dress despite the fact that it's inside her purse. (Gigi Gazelle is Series Six's first GEEK OF THE WEEK~! I get that this was suppose to get Peggi and Pandora over as smart detective, but for goodness sakes, find a better hiding spot!) Geez, I wonder who was enabling Daddy Pig all those years, eh?! (Ooooo, Daddy Pig needs more cream after that sick burn.) Gigi is looking in the cupboards, even though the purse is RIGHT FREAKING THERE on top of the cupboards, all while Suzy Sheep is basically blaming the victim for being stupid.

Gigi is constantly coming up with excuses. Me: "Where is your purse, Gigi?" would be the first thing I would ask, because you had the cell phone in there when we saw you at the beginning of the episode. This is so stupid and it's ruining the Panda Twin's buzz at this point. Peggi and Pandora give out the moral of the episode which is to keep your eyes and ears open, which Gigi needs to do badly since no one under the age of two wouldn't notice the obvious here. Peggi and Pandora's theory on this is to wait until someone calls her and if the phone rings, they will notice it. Their giggling indicates that they know where it is and want to make Gigi look even worse and I don't blame them. This is way too obvious, even for this show! One problem: None of the kids have mobile phones and the narrator says that little kids do not have mobile phones. That is bullshit, narrator; although it might be better off that way, if you catch my drift. It's home time, thus rendering the entire phone in completely pointless since Officer Panda is here. Might as well give the status report in person, Gigi. (Just makes her look like an even bigger geek.) Gigi is glad to see them and asks one of them to ring her phone in as Panda wants to, but finds it easier to talk in person with it. He's one of those who think communicating with phones face to face within five feet of each other is too stupid to imagine. Gigi then admits that she lost her phone and by the way, Officer Panda is looking in such a way that he could easily spot Gigi's purse and just open it for her. (Actually, Officer Panda doesn't know where the phone is. He knows where the purse is though.) Nope, Officer Panda has to ring in the cellphone in the purse in order to keep Peggi and Pandora strong for the series and make them look good, even though they already are good characters and it does nothing for Gigi and her brain. (Which didn't matter because Peggi and Pandora were only designed for Chinese New Year and had fewer appearance long after the two parter is over.) Yes; they find Gigi's cellphone in the handbag, which has a vibrator mode. Whatever, Gigi opens the bag, finds the phone ringing and that is that. Peppa points out that Peggi and Pandora had this idea. Officer Panda pets their cheeks for a job well done as everyone laughs out loud to end the episode at 4:30. Not a great debut here, although Peggi and Pandora did a wonderful job here. Most of the problems was the too stupid to be believable phone missing angle from Gigi that marred this debut. (Yup, but it was done to get Peggi and Pandora Panda over as detectives and that worked even though it was so easy. I'll split the difference and go *** 1/4 (65%).)

Chinese New Year: We conclude this two parter at the school house on the hill as we get the same footage of the parents cars arriving and the kids all going into the school house. The only difference is Peggi and Pandora enter with the kids as this is basically their only other appearance outside of the Children's Festival two parter. (No, not really; there is Miss Rabbit's Rexlatation Class and Families left as major appearance. They got shunted down further than Molly Mole ever did. Also, Wendy Wolf is absent along with the Zebra Twins, as usual.) All the kids sit down as the entire school is decorated with Chinese decorations as Gigi addresses the kids that today is the celebration of the Chinese New Year, which was I believe the first episode made directly for Chinese market. (Before I continue, I want to point out that China is not a communist country anymore and Nemo37 of Nintendo Everything describes it as: a single party authoritarian government with a mixed-market economy. Which means, dangerously close to the USA if the Republicans totally get their way.) Gigi explains the entire holiday in a nutshell and Peggi and Pandora are giddy about this since in storyline, they are immigrants from China. (Peggi and Pandora Panda are giddy because they love fireworks. Anyone who hates flashbangs...RUN! Maybe one reason why Peggi and Pandora didn't get a huge push in this show.) The door bell rings and outside is Mr. Bull with a box of fireworks. Considering Mr. Bull destructive tendencies, I do not trust him carrying fireworks. (WildCat Puma has the same problem, although it's not on purpose, which is more dangerous in hindsight.) Although at least he's not smoking while doing this, so points for that, I guess. (There was a Ducktales episode that had someone smoking while carrying fireworks.) Gigi comes out and informs him to put the fireworks on the next hill. Okay, this isn't the worst thing Mr. Bull could have done. Back inside as Gigi gives kids tiny brooms. Apparently, one of the traditions of Chinese New Year is to symbolically sweep out the old year and sweep in the new one, and that is what every kid does. Gigi then tells them to hide the brushes, so the sweeping will stop and it doesn't sweep away the good luck for the new year. And that is what every kid does.

Pedro asks the obvious question here, and I think Gigi already answered that one, you clueless pony. Okay, Boomer Eiasion. Maybe it's just me, but whenever I hear that new catchphrase, I cannot resist adding the last name to that somewhat famous quarterback in American rules football. (Oh just wait until I get punched in the kisser for rightfully pointing out Grampy Rabbit being a boomer! Also, Gigi Gazelle didn't explain it until Pedro F'N Pony asked so, he was on the ball here. Pedro is still a clueless pony though.) The kids raise their hands and ask for good luck in unison as Gigi brings out a box of red clothing for everyone to wear for extra good luck. Everyone takes out red clothing and puts it on as Peppa has a lucky red scarf to match the red dress, and Suzy protests this as unfair. (Welcome to reality Suzy, it's not magic at all. Deal with it.) Here's how to make it fair: Peppa's red dress doesn't count as luck, since it has to come from the box. Simple, but perfectly fair. Peppa wants to share the luck with Suzy and then they hug. Okay, that sort of works too, I guess. (Peppa winking to the hard camera tells me this extra luck appears to be very sus.) Gigi next brings out a picture of a big red Chinese Dragon (or as the dragon is called Long.) because they are doing the Dragon Dance (Long Wudao); and Danny asks if this dragon is scary. Gigi calls it a super friendly dragon because she cannot say that it's not a real dragon and just a prop used to symbolize the dragon and the dragon dance. Oh, and this dragon is going to be hand made by the kids as Danny calls the body some sort of deli food. His imagination is so limited, it makes Pedro look like a creative genius. (I wonder why Danny Dog is such a loser. He has a penis fetish since he called it a sausage. DORK~!) They are really creating the most absurd looking Chinese Dragon in history. (Even Suzy is calling it a sausage now. What a bunch of goofballs?!) Peggi and Pandora put horns on the dragon like a bull. Gigi then remembers to bring out her cell phone since Mr. Bull has to be called right now. (At least she remembered to not put in her purse this time in some neat continuity there.) Gigi calls Mr. Bull on the next hill and Mr. Bull has almost all the fireworks set up perfectly on the next hill. We slowly go into HAPPY HOUR as the kids put the finishing touches on the dragon. Gigi asks who wants to carry the dragon on poles and Peppa, George, Richard, Peggi and Pandora run in to carry the dragon.

Apparently it has a white monkey in it's mouth, for no good reason that I can think of. (That's not a monkey, former self. It's a white squid like creature to give the dragon whiskers. Kind of a brilliant move by the kids. It's too bad Mandy Mouse doesn't debut until the very next episode because it should have been Peppa, Peggi, Pandora, George and Mandy carrying the dragon to show the distance from the first episode to this one. That would have been neat, but sadly, Richard carries it, which is not special.) The rest of the kids get to carry lanterns and bang cymbals and drums. But someone is needed to wear the lion mask to lead the Chinese New Year Dragon Dance. Who should come in, but Mr. Bull himself; and Gigi offers him the lion costume, which he is honored to do so. (Gigi Gazelle deferring the lion costume to Mr. Bull actually makes storyline sense: Gigi is an anthromorphic gazelle and lions eat gazelles as per The Zoo.) I guess the fireworks are on a timer then. Everyone marches out of the school houe and that door is way too narrow, and somehow it does no damage to Mr. Bull's mask, nor the dragon itself. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) They all march down the hill with Mr. Bull in the lead, Danny Dog on drum (Yes, he's in second place even in Dragon Dances.), Edmond with the lantern, Peppa, George, Richard, Peggi and Pandora with the dragon etc. etc. etc. They go up a hill as all the parents arrive to clap and see the dragon dance. (Even Daddy Wolf and Mummy Wolf are here, despite Wendy Wolf not even showing up for the celebration! SUZY SHEEP~?!) Daddy Pig is there and asks where are the fireworks. Mr. Bull gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and it's on remote control as he pushes the conveniently placed red button and we have fireworks. Mr. Bull pushes more buttons as Peppa calls this the best Chinese New Year ever, which is kind of dubious since it was this show's first Chinese New Year. Everyone is in awe of the fireworks as the episode ends at 4:30. This was a much better showing for Peggi and Pandora as they managed to do this without making it look like a mockery for a change. *** 3/4 (75%). (Hope you enjoyed Peggi and Pandora Panda, because they are making rare appearances from here on out. There's a reason why I gave Officer Panda the nickname "Why Does This Show Hate My Kids?".)

Mandy Mouse: Here is episode #267 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the school house on the hill. We head inside as the big kids are at their tables drawing pictures. (Absent: George Pig, Richard Rabbit, The Zebra Twins, and Wendy Wolf. Rebecca is drawing a carrot as usual.) Gigi Gazelle is watching on as Peppa is drawing the sun; and then claps her hands because this is a special day. Which is codeword for a new student as a new visitor is here. The door opens and in comes Mrs. Mouse and Mandy Mouse. (Mandy Mouse becomes lucky number thriteen in the big kids department to be in Playgroup.) Mandy Mouse is voiced by Audrey Von Hulzen and this is her debut and only appearance. I have no clue who voices Mummy Mouse though. (It's Morwenna Banks again as usual. Mummy Panda later on is also voiced by the same voice talent.) Mandy Mouse is a female mouse anthro with pink cheeks and a lavander nose, wearing a pink dress and sits in a wheelchair. (She also has the same noise as Rebecca Rabbit's animal noise I should note.) I doubt that they will explain why Mandy is in a wheelchair and considering the audience, it might be for the best. They treat her like one of the kids, which is exactly how it should be done, so points for that. According to Gigi, she is merely here to observe and have fun. If there is no abuse forthcoming, she'll be part of Playgroup for the rest of the series. Pretty much gives away the ending in advance, but this is one predictable thing I would prefer. (Well, I hope you enjoy Mandy Mouse, because she's getting a mega-ton push -- pardon the pun -- on this show and this push will actually rivals SUZY SHEEP~!) Mummy Mouse kisses her and wishes her good luck before she leaves. Mandy wheels herself around, so she is clearly used to her wheelchair by now. She heads to the table with Peppa, Danny and Suzy; the original big three of the show. So, we exchange notes and pictures for a while as Pedro Pony draw a cloud to counter Peppa's sun. That was amusing. Molly drew the sky of course. (They were doing a sky motif to inspire Mandy in her drawing.) Mandy draws a picture of an airplane, so she might be a TaleSpin fan, or whatever cartoon flying show that is made in Great Britian. The kids love it and then the bell rings which is the universal signal to go outside and play at the playground.

All the kids run out with Danny Dog with the spotty ball. It's been six seasons and Danny Dog still hasn't won a race yet. (Danny actually won three races in his career, although those ones weren't overruled by the tie rule!) Even though this wasn't a race, Mandy Mouse races past Danny Dog to win anyway to being first to the playground. Danny Dog just cannot buy a break. Peppa Pig does in fact ask why she is in a wheelchair and Mandy simply says that her legs don't work anymore, so she's paralyzed from the legs down basically. Suzy doesn't get it of course. (Suzy cannot get anything outside of magic. At least she didn't fumble.) Mandy wheels around her wheelchair some more to force the point and she's getting around great in my own opinion. It's time to play spotty ball and Danny picks Mandy as her co-captain. (Someone finally told Danny off for making it boys VS. girls all the time. Good for them!) Peppa picks Suzy as hers, DUH! It's 4-on-4 and Freddy Fox has been officially written out by teleport. (They could have teleported out Emily Elephant and it would have been perfect. Four males, four females; two male/two females per team. So, close show. So damn close.) Somehow, everyone is teleporting as Danny is trying to explain DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS~!); but everyone except Mandy is cutting each other off because they are jerks. This is the one thing that might be a deal breaker for Mandy Mouse. It ends with Peppa simply saying "because I said so." I cackled on that one. (Peppa Pig finally confesses that she is a troll and she rules over all of you in storyline.) Mandy puts an end to the foolishness by basically saying the team who puts the ball through the conveniently placed basketball hoop pole, wins the game. Sounds fair to me. Considering that Mandy Mouse is on Danny Dog's team, Danny might finally get his first win in this show. However, Mandy will probably save the team from disaster, so Danny's win will be pointless, as usual. And damn it to hell if I'm not right as Emily, Pedro and Suzy are making Danny look like the worst player of all time here. When Pedro F'N Pony is better than Danny Dog, you are hosed. (You are going to eat those words, former self because...) Mandy steals the ball, passes it to Danny, then to Molly who throws it high in the air making everyone think Peppa would regain the ball.

Mandy steals it again, bounces it onto Gerald's head, he bops the ball into the net and Team Danny wins! (Now, I know what you are all thinking: Mandy cheated because she didn't dribble the ball. This was not basketball and Mandy didn't pretend it was such. The only rule was just to put the ball into the hoop. Mandy was generous enough to pass it to the field to start the game. This was within their rules and therefore was perfectly fair.) Wow, Mandy was generous to give it to Gerald since Gerald didn't get much heat upon his debut. (Good for her! She gains a lot of respect after this game. No wonder she got the strong push on this show, she was great!) Mandy calls herself brilliant as we jump cut to the front door with Gigi Gazelle ringing the bell as playtime is over. All the kids go up the hill; but Peppa stays with Mandy because she's having a great degree of difficulty going up the hill on her wheelchair because this hill is way too steep. Peppa offers to help her; but Mandy no sells strongly, but loses the toxic masculinity when she claims that she loves hills. Not fooling anyone on that one, sadly. Where is Mr. Bull when we need him?! He can dig up these slopes and makes them more accessible to Mandy! Mandy finally wants Peppa to push her up the hill and Peppa is more than happy to do so. Peppa helps push Mandy up while Mandy wheels herself up, admitting that she is not use to this since her home was in an area that was all flat. (Considering her push, I would love to see where Mandy's family used to live as a storyline for a future episode because this has to be followed up.) Peppa really feels her pain and Rebecca Rabbit even more so as we get sequences of various places on a hill. (Cameos: Doctor Brown Bear, Granny Pig, Mr. Bull, Mr. Badger, a palette swap Wolf family and a kid cow that is with Mr. Bull! We have a mystery on our hands. Get on the case Neneko! By the way, Rebecca Rabbit is mentioned living inside a hill, but not Molly Mole despite being in this episode living with the Rabbit family. Molly Mole just got buried!) Peppa calls it all hills as she and Mandy wheel inside the school house on the hill. Everyone is giggling as Gigi asks if anyone had a great time. Everyone says "yes" as the adults all come inside, including Mummy Mouse. Mandy is so unhappy about leaving PlayGroup, so she agrees to stay at Playgroup for the rest of the series for real this time! She is even popping wheelies while giving out her answer, so it wasn't in doubt. It's three o'clock as Mandy spins her wheelchair around and everyone giggles. (Freddy Fox teleports back in, but his deadbeat Dad Mr. Fox doesn't show up. Sigh.) Mandy giggles with them to end the episode at 4:30. This was a really great debut for Mandy Mouse, even without the muddy puddles in play, which would have been an awesome visual as well. Oh well, it'll happen soon enough, knowing this show. **** (80%).

Recorders: This is episode #268 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the school house on the hill as we zoom in with Gigi playing a recorder while the kids look on. (Peppa Pig, Candy Candy, Pedro F'N Pony, Danny Dog, Emily Elephant, Zoe Zebra, Rebecca Rebecca, Suzy Sheep, Freddy Fox, Molly Mole, Gerald Giraffe and Mandy Mouse in her first appearance since her debut. No Wendy Wolf this time around. Also absent: George Pig, Richard Rabbit, Edmond Elephant, the Zebra Twins. Also, Gigi is literally playing the background music in the opening segment. HUZZAH~!) Gigi stops playing and the kids all do the clap. (They just clap, they didn't channel AMERICAN MALES~!) You see, today the children are going to play music on an instrument called a recorder. Gigi has a plastic box containing various colors of recorders as each one takes out a recorder. Gigi asks if anyone knows how to play the recorder and Peppa -- troll extraordinarie -- proclaims that you blow in it. (What she said was hilarious on so many levels, most of them lowbrow...) Peppa demonstrates it with a decibal level that would make my ears bleed. At least Tatuu is singing and can pull it off without any help from music whatsoever and has been working the voice so to speak. Gigi's ears cringe more than her cringe eye it seems. At least recorders don't blow out glitter...yet. (Don't give them any ideas former self! Environmentalists will kill you if you do.) Gigi claims that it's a horrible squeaky noise and not music. Do we have to go over "Move to Music" again with the broken tape recorder, Gigi?! (Gigi is more in the right here since the broken tape recorder was just wear and tear coming to climax. The recorders do not have that kind of mercy.) Peppa blows and it sounds better already. Gigi then states that to make music -- and Danny Dog counters that it's not horrible and Peppa and Danny giggle, so they are up to something horrible (Also, Danny's tail waggling is a clue as well.) -- , Gigi plays "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" -- which I confused with "Baa, Baa, Black Sheep" (Thanks Peppa for pointing that out to me.) -- since both musically sound really similar to each other. Lyrics help here believe it or not. (Also the fact that one is a song and the other one is a problematic poem.) Gigi also states that music is made from notes and plays more "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star". The trick according to Gigi is to play the notes in the right order and plays some more. (Do, Re, Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti, Doh!) Peppa thinks this is easy and blows it, both literally and musically. This is too easy in the making of potshots.

Danny thinks he's got it and he really blows it like a dog whistle. (Now that's a real dog whistle! All just to avoid the word God. Time to suspend disbelief, be the landlord and make rent due on God living in your head.) Then Emily tries it and blows it, although hers sounds the best thus far. Probably because she played the recorder in an earlier episode. Then everyone tries it and fails that Gigi demands that they stop this at once before she witnesses her own personal hell. Okay, maybe not. (Considering that the Juralians couldn't have stood the Barican March, this only serves up evidence that Gigi is a Juralian Alien reincarnated. Sadly, Peppa Pig doesn't have the rights to Chargeman Ken, so it'll be a generic vampire instead. Puny god.) Gigi calls this not music and Danny claims that it's horrible noise. Heh. (Danny said that with such glee that it had to be a troll move on the kids part.) Emily and Peppa admit that they didn't play it properly, so it's time to learn each note as Gigi plays the first note and the kids do a much better job, but the sound is still off for them. Emily calls it hard and Gigi claims that it gets easier with practice. It also gets easier when you are not under pressure, too. Gigi plays the next note and the kids still sound off key; but Gigi likes that one anyway. Cut to outside as all the parents park their cars on the steepest sides of the hill. Mr. Wolf is here despite not seeing Wendy Wolf one time during this episode. Oops. I don't even think he had his car present in the scene, so...why is he here?! (Mr. Fox isn't here, too. I'm guessing Daddy Wolf picking up Freddy Fox.) All the kids run out as Gigi comes out to tell them to practice because it makes perfect. Well, Donald Trump cruelity is dead on perfect, that is for sure. (Since the torture is the point, of course!) Gigi then hums the same tune she was playing earlier and we jump cut to the little house on the hill with Peppa playing her recorder in the back seat of Mummy Pig's car. Mummy Pig drives her home and parks on the steepest side of the hill...AGAIN! Peppa -- still playing the recorder -- walks in and Daddy Pig isn't all that thrilled about it, but he plays along. Daddy gets off the "practice makes perfect" line and Peppa plays more noise, just to annoy him, I think. Peppa asks for help and Daddy Pig agrees. Mummy Pig shows her true colors and bails for upstairs. Because in storyline, Peppa's playing sucks so hard that Mummy Pig cannot stand it. (Peppa playing sucks so hard, Daddy Pig's tea is shaking in fear.) Daddy Pig has a smile that reads, "don't let her think I hate this", but Peppa's eye contact on Daddy Pig means she is not fooled.

Then we hit the montage with the other kids playing the recorder and the parents' body language is that they simply want this assignment to end quickly. I guess the castle project really broke them after all. (In Suzy Sheep's house, the picture on the wall and the hot cocoa are shuttering in fear of this damnable music! Mummy Sheep is the only one who is willing to help Suzy get through with it. Maybe she was a music teacher.) Captain Dog asks to end the session, but Danny Dog no sells because he has to get it right. Now THIS is where "Perfection Is the Enemy of the Good" is not a logical fallacy. (I thought absolutism was the enemy of the good?! Rev. Ash Taylor said it in doublespeak, so it must be true.) Captain Dog is smiling and the glass bottle boat on the desk is this close to shattering. Luckly, it does not. Jump cut to morning as all the kids and parents arrive at the school house on the hill and enter inside. All the parents sit down in chairs as the students get on stage with their recorders. (Mr. Fox is back! Where have you been you deadbeat dad?! None of the Pony family is here to see Pedro F'N Pony perform since Mummy Sheep is transporting Pedro with Suzy. And just as I say that, Doctor Pony arrives! This is just weird.) The narrator informs us that they have been practicing for a solid week now. Gigi addresses the adults who have arrived to see on stage all the kids with their recorders. (Also, Mummy Pony is here! SUZY SHEEP~?!) Gigi stands back and gives the signal to the children to play "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" and they do, and despite playing the notes properly and in the right order, it still sounds like an organized horrible squeaky sound. The adults have smiles that read "This is total bullshit, but I cannot punch down on the kids, so I must smile." It looks completely phony. (At least this is a feature that can be turned off. Religion treats lying as a surivial mechanism where the only way to stop it is to kill it.) Daddy Pig then gets up, claps his hands and yells "bravo"; but gets cut off anyway. Daddy Pig is the only one who is selling this like it's the best thing ever and not like a phony person. That's extremely telling. Daddy Pig realizes he's screwed, blushes like an idiot and sits down. HAHA! (Daddy Pig is the GEEK OF THE WEEK~, but the rest of those parents are the ASSHOLES OF THE WEEK~!) The song finally ends and everyone is clapping and cheering. Gigi says that the kids worked hard and Mummy Pig says "yes, it was a very good experience" in such a way that she looks like she wants to be somewhere else. Her promo sounds really fake to me. Then Daddy Pig basically confesses that this was the payoff to a week of practice at home. Of course! Daddy thinks it's all over; but Gigi proclaims that there is a concert next week, and the kids will be practicing the Peppa Pig opening theme song. HAHA! Gigi wants them to practice thrice and the kids already have the song down. Although their volume is so high that the parents and Gigi are feeling it like their blowing is creating windbags to end the episode at 4:30. Everyone giggles after that one. (Thankfully, the narrator talks above that volume!) I was perfectly fine with this ending, but it wasn't anything special. *** (60%).

Miss Rabbit's Relaxation Class: This is episode #269 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the little house on the hill. (This was the second last episode I ranted on before Harley Bird was switched over to Amelie Bea Smith.) We zoom into Mummy Pig's office as she is on the computer again, probably writing another secret coded story book. (The music they used in the opening segment is supposed to be relaxing, but it sounds like music with a high volume which kind of kills the mood for me.) Geroge dances around in his regular gear, while Peppa is still in her sleeping gear, while Daddy Pig walks in in his work gear, you got all that?! Daddy is yelling and this give Mummy Pig the wiggle mouth of doom. Peppa is going to PlayGroup and just needs her shoes as she bails. George comes in with the party hat and flavors, just to give Mummy Pig wiggle mouth number two in the last fifteen seconds or so. (Daddy Pig is taking him to a children's party, which I deduce later on. I won't say it here just yet.) By the way, Daddy Pig is SOOOOOO dumb that he forgot that he's carrying his briefcase the entire time. Of course! Daddy Pig, Peppa and George run out, jump into the car at the back of the house and Daddy drives down the hill. Somehow; as the kids are saying "goodbye", Mummy Pig's hearing is so good that she can hear them and respond. It's computer work time for Mummy Pig. Then her cell phone rings and she answers it. It's Miss Rabbit having hot cocoa at the office. Apparently, she is the supervisor for the fitness center. (Job #1000!) They exchange notes for a while as Miss Rabbit blows off Mummy Pig for being on her computer, because it causes stress. No, Miss Rabbit; COVID-19 is causing stress in people today, and you should self-isolate for the rest of your life, just out of mere principle. (I'm not accusing her of having COVID-19 or any disease other the corporate bloodsucking disease known as crunch.) Considering her gimmick, the virus is the LEAST of her problems. Miss Rabbit has a "relaxation class" to "relieve stress". Yeah, I'll bet! Remember, this is Miss Rabbit we are talking about here, whose gimmick is doing hundreds of different jobs, AT THE SAME TIME! No relaxation class is going to help that. (Forcing others to do all those jobs might save Miss Rabbit, although by this time, the damage has been done to her body and brain.) Miss Rabbit claims that this will give Mummy Pig a sense of "inner happiness". Yeah, I'll bet! Mummy Pig accepts the deal and Miss Rabbit hangs up. This is not going to end well for Mummy Pig at all. Scene change to the sports center on the hill as the narrator points out the obvious to everyone. Then we cut back to Miss Rabbit's office as Miss Rabbit is throwing spitballs into the trash bin. I am not making that up! Why? Why not?! (Well, it's shooting hoops in a weird way.) In comes Mummy Pig at nine am as they are about to engage in small talk; but the phone rings and Miss Rabbit answers it. (It took roughly an hour to get to the gym. Mummy Pig's teeth smile indicates that she realizes that this is not going to end well for her.)

Miss Rabbit then whisper yells to Mummy Pig that the gym is to the west. I can accept that, it's not like they were hiding anything there. (Yeah, one of my pet peeves is whisper yelling. I get that acting requires you to hear the person. But in real life; if you did it to hide sercets from people who aren't supposed to hear them, well, those people will hear them and refuse to erase it from memory because if they did, that makes them dumb. Even TaleSpin is not immune to this stupidity.) Mummy Pig walks off stage left as Miss Rabbit is speaking to someone about a bouncy castle or some silly thing. (Please remember that for later.) Mummy Pig walks into the gym area as she sees Mr. Fox, Mummy Wolf and Mrs. Zebra meditating. Mummy Pig asks if this is the relaxation class. Mr. Fox says yes and they are here to find inner happiness and calm...then Miss Rabbit yells and ruins the buzz. As usual. (This sounds like a torture class to force everyone to have actual jobs and let Miss Rabbit be free. Or something.) Since this is a stress free class, all mobile phones must be turned off, which all four of classmates do. Now, everyone meditates and Miss Rabbit needs to turn down the volume of her promos here. Oh, and Miss Rabbit is a hypocrite since her cell phone is still in her pocket and not turned off since it rings out of nowhere. That of course ruins the buzz as Miss Rabbit runs the sports centre and tells everyone she'll be back in a mo, since apparently, someone has arrived. (Mo is shorthand for moment.) Miss Rabbit bails stage right to her office and guess who arrives: Gigi Gazelle with all the kids, minus Mandy Mouse, George, Edmond, Richard and Wendy Wolf. Peggi and Pandroa are here though. (George Pig, Richard Rabbit and Edmond Elephant is totally understandable give what happens later on. This is one of the few times Mandy Mouse wouldn't appear in Playgroup considering her massive mega-push she was getting. Wendy Wolf is getting shunted down the card at this point, which is hilarious considering Mummy Wolf is here. I believe this is the last time I see Peggi and Pandora until Families. We'll see...) They are here for the gym lesson as Miss Rabbit notices and bails out of her office and heads into the gym bringing out a pomel horse and basketball, making as much noise as BS&P would allow without making it so quiet that it doesn't ruin the adults buzz. Mummy Pig gets the cringe eye as a result and then relaxes again...for about three seconds. The kids all run in to annoy everyone, and Peppa comes in to greet her mother -- which normally would be a troll move -- but I suspect Peppa was totally genuine in this moment. (Not only that: Peppa talked normally, while Miss Rabbit was yelling! Miss Rabbit is our TROLL OF THE WEEK~!) They exchange small talk for a while and then Peppa bails for the gym lesson. All the kids are doing lessons on various structures and Gigi proclaims that she wants to see a lot of "jumping, and climbing and running". (Gigi decides to try to top Miss Rabbit's trolling by having the kids shout "Yes, Madame Gazelle!" like Grampy Rabbit.)

I should note that the YTV Treehouse promos for Peppa Pig changed this to "I want to see jumping, climbing and running." and somehow manages to get the mouthflaps right in the process. (SUZY SHEEP~?! Although that one was YTV's doing.) It's ready steady GO~! There is a bouncy ball horse, which Peppa bounces on. Pedro is on the most lamest balance beam you have ever seen, there is no way I could take him seriously falling off that thing. Emily is using her trunk on the pomel horse. Candy is on the trampoline, Rebecca and Molly are catching a basketball, Pandora and Peggi are playing ping pong and I have no idea what Suzy and Freddy are doing. (Suzy is clearly running and teleporting. Freddy is on the beam with Pedro.) The adults in meditation class are struggling because there is a bunch of kids making a lot of noise. The basketball bounces away and hits Mrs. Zebra in her tummy and she barely sells it; so the meditiation sort of works, I guess. The ping pong ball hits Mrs. Zebra and she barely sells it, so the meditiation sorts of works, I guess again. Gigi and Miss Rabbit are shouting to see who is the bigger asshole in this war of loud voices. I think Miss Rabbit's winning this one. In comes Daddy Pig with George Pig, Zuzu Zebra, Zaza Zebra and Edmond Elephant with party hats on. I deduced here that Zuzu and Zaza's birthday was today and this alone makes Mummy Pig sounds like she literally wants to be somewhere else. (Like Daddy Pig wanting to be somewhere else when he was stuck in concrete! This means that outside of Joey Kangeroo, Didier Donkey, Rosie and Robbie Rabbit, all the two and under year kids have had a birthday episode! Suzy Sheep and Pedro F'N Pony haven't had a birthday episode yet! Mummy Pig's cringe eye is on full force here.) Lots of giggling ensues as Daddy Pig steps on a remote button since he brings in the most Gedo-fashion sense bouncy castle he could find. Oh, snap! Little kids bounce in bouncy castle as Peppa bounces in on the red bouncy horse ball of doom greeting Daddy Pig. Mummy Pig has the look of "I can't believe Peppa is not trolling me or anyone this time around."; because this is so on brand for her. Daddy Pig joins into the bouncy castle, because he has no shame whatsoever. Mummy Pig tries to relax; but gets the dreaded WHISTLE OF SCREAMS in the face by Miss Rabbit, just to be the biggest jerk in the room as the class is over. Miss Rabbit asks Mummy Pig how it went, and Mummy Pig declares it very stressful, to which Miss Rabbit claims that this happens all the time. Of course! This class needs a relocation, STAT! Miss Rabbit offers Mummy Pig a go on the bouncy castle and Mummy Pig is already in it and bouncing to her heart's delight. She proclaims this is is relaxing and thus buries Miss Rabbit's class completely, which I'm glad because this class sucks! The little kids all join her and some seem to be trying to do the backsplash laugh, but failing to end the episode at 4:30. The ending to this was great and the lesson learned is: Computers do not induce stress, actual viruses do. **** (80%).

Parking Ticket: Next up is episode #270 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the little house on the hill as we head to Peppa's bedroom as it is a total mess with Peppa and George causing chaos and mayhem. Daddy and Mummy Pig come in and they are not amused at the mess as Mummy wishes they would do a bit of tidying up because then they wouldn't have to be told off. (One piece of advice: Do not do the six circle ever again. It is consider a white power symbol. Also, told off is British for "call you out".) Peppa Pig asks why the kids get told off; but not the parents...BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh snap! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! After all the episodes I have seen in this show when Daddy Pig screws up, that Daddy Pig doesn't get told off. (See Supermarket where Daddy Pig gets told off for buying a chocolate cake that wasn't on the list, for starters.) Daddy is claiming that this is why he is a grown up; because he doesn't get told off, which makes my endless laughter even more ampified. I realize that this isn't limited to Daddy Pig, but come on, Peppa. You know better than that. (Also applies to Daddy Pig as well. Daddy Pig is the GEEK OF THE WEEK and the episode has barely started!) The room is all clean now as Daddy bails and goes to his car which has magically been written in by teleport as he is going shopping. Peppa and George want to join him and Daddy agrees to it. Now, I know all you moral guardians are whining and gnashing teeth now that Peppa and George got away with this. (They didn't show evidence of Peppa and George tidying up; but we didn't see the tidying up at all anyway.) However, Daddy Pig is shopping for...wait for it...concrete. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! See, Peppa didn't get what she wanted after all. (Sadly, this is a huge mistake on Daddy Pig's part and deserves to be told off. Get some therapy for that kink, you giant steamed ham!) Peppa is not happy about this as we arrive at the concrete shop and he parks at the "No Parking" sign. Peppa is pointing this out to Daddy Pig, but Daddy Pig tells her not to worry because he'll be out soon. In comes Miss Rabbit as Daddy Pig makes some small talk and then goes inside while Peppa and George stay in the car to talk with Miss Rabbit and help her with her job. We then discover that her job of the day is...wait for it...traffic warden. (Job #327891. Which would be Daddy Pig's prison plate if a parking target was punishable by life in prison without parole.) Uh-oh! Daddy Pig's kink is about to get him into trouble...AGAIN! Miss Rabbit writes a parking ticket and sticks it on Daddy Pig's windshield and I'm sobbing with laughter after this.

Daddy Pig has just committed a petty crime! After all the times he drove into traffic in Italy and France, he finally gets citied and it is all due to his undying love for concrete. Even funnier; Daddy Pig comes out with the bag of concrete and puts it in the car. Miss Rabbit brings out her camera and takes a picture for fun and for identification in case Daddy Pig does anything sneaky and Daddy Pig is completely clueless about the situation. This is so great, this might be better than Simple Science! (A lot less dangerous on Daddy Pig as well.) Daddy Pig finally notices the ticket and gets it. We drive along the boring road and I was hoping that Officer Panda and Officer Grey Squirrel stopped him for speeding to boot, but sadly it doesn't happen. (Daddy Pig kept the ticket on the car windshield as well.) Peppa asks if this is like being told off and Daddy Pig admits that it is, making him look like the idiot that he is. They finally arrive on the little house on the hill as the ticket is still on the windshield despite Daddy Pig taking it off earlier. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) Peppa and George jump out and go into the kitchen where Mummy Pig is sipping tea. I was hoping Peppa would say "Mummy! Mummy! My Daddy's a criminal!" That would have been the funniest troll move ever, and it would be totally truth on Peppa's part. (This is one of the pitfalls to having Nickelodeon as your broadcaster because without that, Peppa says that line and it's not only not offensive, but true. Daddy Pig committed a crime. A petty crime, but still a crime.) Sadly, she said it's a ticket as Mummy Pig takes this as good, until Daddy Pig comes in to inform her that it's a parking ticket, and Mummy Pig is certain that this is a mistake and even Daddy Pig buys into it. (Peppa Pig was RIGHT THERE when the ticket was issued. This was no mistake.) Then the doorbell rings and Daddy Pig answers it to show Mr. Zebra with a letter for Daddy Pig. Daddy Pig takes it in and opens it in between scenes to show the picture Miss Rabbit took as Peppa sums up the picture nicely for me. That was a mistake all right. (Daddy Pig is so BUSTED~!) At least Daddy Pig is going to pay for this the first time, unlike Baloo who had hundreds of these tickets and didn't pay for it until the end of Bringing Down Babyface. Did I mention TaleSpin is going to be thirty years old next year?! (It'll be 35 years next year with a reboot in the works still on the table at this point! I don't care if Seth Rogan screw this reboot up. It'll give me endless material for me to mock either way. Besides, it's not like TaleSpin didn't do The Jungle Book so dirty that it became an icon in DTVA history.)

Basically, the picture has a letter that informs Daddy Pig that he needs to learn how to park, so there is no fining system in this show. All right, as the doorbell rings and guess who is at the door?! Just guess, it's too shocking. Surprise! It's OK, BOOMER~! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...It's Police Constable Panda and Police Constable Grey Squirrel. (Who never tickets an inanimate object she didn't like.) Daddy Pig answers the door which is less foolish than ignoring the door completely. I guess they are the officials to make sure Daddy Pig learns how to park and it's a home visit. Daddy Pig is blushing profusely now and I am loving every second of this. Grey Squirrel calls this a routine visit. Yeah, I'll bet! Then Officer Panda asks if Daddy Pig is planning to leave the country and Daddy Pig said no. And every country is so relieved by that answer. The police ask if Daddy Pig is ready for the parking lesson and Daddy says yes. The officers, Daddy Pig, Peppa and George walk down the hill as we see the police car and apparently, it has a spare "No Parking" sign just for the lesson. Lucky, eh?! Officer Panda puts the sign down on the ground and points out what the sign's message is. Panda gets into his car and drives forward to an area where there is no parking sign and parks to demonstrate where you should park. Then he backs up to the "No Parking" sign to demonstrate where you shouldn't park. I was hoping Officer Grey Squirrel would ticket him right there, just to make my life complete and really jackhammer the point home. Oh my goodness, okay this is beyond funny now: The lesson is over and Daddy Pig claps on cue with the kids and then in comes Miss Rabbit and she tickets Officer Panda despite the fact that the "No Parking" sign is just a prop for lesson purposes! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, this episode is now officially better than Simple Science. And all Officer Panda had to do is point out that they were doing a parking lesson, but he acts like this law is so stupid and outrageous and Miss Rabbit is acting like she's doing a job! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is the best screwjob finish in all of Peppa Pig now. Even Daddy Pig wading in concrete cannot match it now. This is so great, and they did it to prove that no one is above the law, despite the fact that no laws are broken here since it was a lesson and not real life. Still awesome though. Peppa proclaims that even grownups get told off and everyone except Officer Panda does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. This is the best episode in Peppa Pig history now. This had Daddy Pig being a petty criminal and his kink messed him up again, some hilarious moments involving the police and a finish that was beyond the pale hilarious. No one can accuse these officers of not obeying the law, that is for sure. ***** (100%).

Lots Of Muddy Puddles: The next episode is episode #271 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the little house on the hill in the fall with colored leaves and Daddy Pig's car parked at the front. The back door opens as Peppa and George in winter clothes run down and find a muddy puddle. But wait, they are stopped by Daddy Pig's voice. They run back up as Daddy informs them that they are going on a walk and there might be lots of muddy puddles on the trip. They are going for a walk in the woods, despite driving to the woods in a car. Kind of taints the whole walk in the woods thing a little tiny bit. (Yeah, why not walk in the garden since there are woods there?!) Mummy is driving and we go onto the boring road for a while and the kids are giggling to make this sound exciting, struggling. Peppa sings the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM for awhile to kill more time in a five minute episode. It's not the Muddy Puddles song, even though it's about Muddy Puddles. (Still this was a decent song if nothing else.) They arrive at the park, which the narrator calls the woods. There is a gate and a recycling bin as Daddy Pig opens the door and everyone goes inside. Mummy Pig laments about how awesome the woods are and considering how important they are for our surivial, she's really underestimating the awesomeness here. (No lies detected from both of you, actually.) Of course, Peppa cuts her off because she wants those muddy puddles, see. (Peppa Pig is a troll.) Daddy points out that there is a puddle and Peppa and George are so giddy that they jump in. They are both disappointed because it's not muddy and not all puddles are muddy. Yes; Peppa has completely erased London from her mind and that makes me really sad. (I guess she found out how awful the divine right of kings are. Sad, but neccessary.) Peppa stomps some more, calls it twiggie and no she wasn't insulting Tweeg here, so she's safe. (Like Tweeg could ever threaten anyone successfully outside of MAVO?!) It's also cracklie, so it's called a twigglie, cracklie puddle, just to over complicate the entire gimmick. I would have called it a treeie puddle, since the leaves and twigs come from a tree. (Daddy Pig also jumps in the puddle to verify Peppa's own observation. That one amused me because that is what a scientist does.)

They now have a new mission in this episode: Find different kinds of puddles and the next destination is the beach. They return to the beach boring road heading west as we sing the same song as before, only everyone is singing it now. Even George is singing it, so his entire gimmick is basically him trolling on Peppa and everyone else. (The background looks like a prototype battle background from Final Fantasy VI.) We stop at the beach as Peppa and George get out and notice a puddle in the sand. They jump up and down in it and it sounds like tin foil being bashed by a hammer, or something among those lines. This is clearly a sandie puddle. Peppa calls it crunchie and scrunchie. That is true. Mummy Pig joins in for a while and then next up is the playground as we head on the slightly more exciting road and more singing. We head to the playground where there are lots of puddles, but none muddy...AGAIN! Peppa tests the puddle and it's called a splatie puddle. Yes, I'm doing the gimmick of using the "ie" at the end for more British effect. (It's similar to the gimmick I did for the Touch Of Glass rant for TaleSpin.) George and Peppa jump up and down in the splatie puddle for a while as Daddy approves of it. Mummy Pig decides that it's time to go home and it's back onto the slightly more exciting road heading west this time with no singing. Basically they do a recap of all the puddles they jumped in, only with the kids jumping up and down in said puddles. Peppa is not happy because she still didn't find the elusive muddy puddle. Daddy Pig drives them back home because there is only one place to find them. If you said "in the backyard" you win the no-prize. Of course! Peppa and George get out of the car, run down to the garden and Peppa jumps into the muddy puddle. Daddy Pig thinks that the puddle is a splish-splash-sploosh puddle. Peppa blows that name off because muddy puddles are really the best. Therefore, by default, it's called...wait for it...wait for it...a Peppa Puddle. Yes, after calling her episodes "Peppasodes"; she's now naming muddy puddles, Peppa Puddles. Don't ask, it's a Peppa Thing~! (Yeah, because she's the star and everyone else is a geek. It's like the bible only Peppa Pig is much more pleasant to watch.) Everyone jumps up and down in Peppa Puddles and loves it to end the episode at 4:30. Just your average Peppa Puddle love in. *** (60%).

Father's Day: Next up is episode #272 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the little house on the hill as the narrator proclaims that it's Father's Day. Daddy Pig walks out the back door and gets his cheap lawn mower because he don't care about this day. The narrator's explaination is so obvious that I feel ashamed for being called a daddy. Out comes Mummy, Peppa and George with the spotty ball as Peppa asks if they can play in the garden and Mummy is fine with it as she pulls a conveniently placed weed and Daddy Pig praises her for it. Mummy Pig does that look on her face as she asks what Daddy Pig is going to do and Daddy Pig claims that he'll be a father, which prompts Mummy Pig to ask "Can you do that and cut the grass?" Wait, I thought the cutting grass was a part of the weeding. This gravely offends Daddy Pig because the rest of the family has forgotten that it's Father's Day. Daddy Pig correctly points out that Father's Day is the same thing as Mother's Day, but only for daddies. Mummy Pig flat out claims that Father's Day is a modern make up day. Mother's Day started in 1908 and like Christmas, it's been too commercialized. Father's Day pretty much started BECAUSE of Mother's Day and pretty much in the same year. The problem is -- besides Father's Day being too commericalized, but that's capitalism for you -- Father's Day was born out of a religious ritual as old as the fifth century; while Mother's Day was a modern holiday born out of secularism. Mummy Pig got it wrong; but at least her holiday was secular and that makes it a better holiday in that regard, so Daddy Pig is screwed anyway. Both are made up though and are just as real as the other. (Yeah, I had to correct that one, since "neither" makes no sense here.) Mummy Pig and Peppa apologize for their graffe and ask what Daddy Pig would like to do and Daddy Pig wants to watch some race cars on the television. We logically head to the living room as Daddy Pig watches race cars on television. (Which are driven by anthromorphic potatoes like in George's Racing Car, I should note. Also of note, Daddy Pig is having either coffee or hot chocolate, which is weird. Around trolls like Peppa Pig, this could give Daddy Pig the type of sick burns that are not innocent.) Goldie gets to watch Daddy Pig's tummy for the show as well. Daddy Pig sits on the sofa and relaxes; although I find it hard to relax with all that noise.

We jump cut to the kitchen table with Mummy Pig, George and Peppa with paper and a box of crayons as they draw Daddy Pig in the long grass, because we have to troll on him that he is not cutting the lawn today. He can do it tomorrow, okay?! Inside the card, the message is actually perfect, complete with two kisses. Sadly, they were not Chef kisses; that would have been money! (At this point, this was a perfectly fun episode, and then watch it go downhill from here via the most evil product known to humankind and porch pirates: glitter.) Oh, and Peppa gets inspired and this episode is about to get worse because we have to do at least one glitter bomb joke in Series Six. (Thankfully, this would be the last one.) Mummy Pig is not happy about this at all and she tries to understandabily weasel out of this joke by claiming the glitter is lost. I was hoping she would say that the glitter is dead; that would have also been money. (Also, the perfect payoff to the glitter bomb jokes and we would never see this angle done again.) Peppa doesn't buy it for one second because she's a troll and don't care. Somehow, the vial of glitter is on top of the fridge. Why would you buy glitter from the start, let alone put it in an obvious place where Peppa can clearly see it?! (SUZY SHEEP~?!) Mummy Pig is like "well done" and is looking towards the hard camera and blinking; because she knows this house is FUBARED! Jump cut to Daddy Pig watching racing on television, like me watching him watching racing on my computer screen. Peppa and George run in with the card and give it to Daddy Pig, and there is glitter dropping on the floor and it looks like pieces of circle paper. Daddy Pig loves the front, and then makes the fatal error of opening the card and....GLITTER PIPE BOMB~! Now Daddy Pig is the world biggest Christmas Pig Tree. POW! OUCH! Ummm... Daddy Pig teases being angry, and in a split second recoils and loves the card. This joke is death now and it's time to end the gimmick outright. It is no longer funny and it's only going to encourage pollution. (No lies detected.) The narrator then proceeds to say the biggest lie ever: Daddy Pig loves glitter and everyone loves glitter. Not even Oprah Winfrey would stoop to saying such a thing and she supports quackery like crazy. (Now that's a sick burn! On whom?! Does it matter?! Ummmm....Nope!)

Jump cut back to the kitchen table and somehow, Peppa and George have teleported into the kitchen. This means, it's time to make a Father's Day cake. Only this time, it's not homemade chocolate cake, which would be the sensible thing to do, since Daddy Pig requested this earlier in the episode. However, Peppa is in full troll mode and George is helping this time instead of being the victim. This cake is made of cereal, which to be fair, is not a bad ingredient for making a cake. But again, this is Peppa Pig, so she wants to pour in tomato ketchup and even Mummy Pig is questioning this; but Peppa Pig don't care. (How do I know she's trolling?! The flour and the eggs are on the kitchen table, ready to be used. The narrator even says that everyone loves ketchup, which is more believable than glitter.) George puts in the SMELLY BLUE CHEESE OF DOOM into the bowl; because why not?! And it's the legit one, not the plastic one Mr. Fox sold in the market. Also, it wouldn't be a baking spot without Peppa and George stirring the bowl with wooden spoons and making a giant mess out of it. Oh, and Daddy Pig has had enough of television and comes in the kitchen with glitter still on the tummy asking what is going on. Well, besides Peppa's trolling, they are making a wacky cake and Peppa is already blowing off Daddy for looking. Daddy Pig closes his eyes and goes outside and Mummy Pig wants him to cut the grass now and Peppa protests this outrage because it's Daddy's Day. (Her words, not mine.) Wait, today is the day that poem was written?! But wait, this is Peppa Pig and she wants Daddy Pig to give her and George piggyback rides. What a troll Peppa Pig is?! And that is exactly what Daddy Pig does, because of course! Daddy Pig piggybacks the two down the hill as we see that somehow a picnic area has been set up with Teddie and George because it's tea time. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) They cosplay pouring of the tea as Peppa calls for Mummy Pig to bring out the WACKY CAKE OF DOOM in a bowl to Daddy Pig; with Peppa insisting that it will work. Daddy Pig takes a forkful and eats it. His face goes silly and then he recoils and admits that he likes it. He loves Father's Day as everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. I think Daddy Pig should cut the grass now, this wasn't a good Father's Day for him. ** (40%). Most of the deducation was for the stupid glitter bomb joke that is staler than eight year old bread.

Funny Music: Here is episode #273 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the little house on the hill as we zoom in to the kitchen table which has apparently been moved to the eastern side of the house instead of the western side like it normally is. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) Mummy Pig is having tea, Daddy Pig is finished having tea and the kids are having cereal because it's breakfast. Daddy Pig's bag is on the floor, so I assume he is going to work today as it's eight o'clock. The doorbell rings as Daddy wonders who it could be and we head outside with Mr. Zebra with a package for Daddy Pig. Daddy Pig answers the door and takes the package and heads inside as Mr. Zebra leaves. Daddy Pig heads back and the package is like gift wrap as Daddy opens the package to reveal a synthesizer. Which is basically an electronic keyboard with microphone. Peppa understandably messes up saying it since I cannot spell it properly either. (You'll be amused by her lack of pronouncation skills when in Peppa Pig Tales, she tries to pronounce the word "arrest" properly.) Daddy Pig opens the box and brings it out. Don't worry; the box is normal sized with packing peanuts instead of the world's largest shipping box. The electronic keyboard has a stand attached to it as the keyboard has colored buttons on it; which Daddy Pig has no idea what they do. Mummy Pig finds the BLUE BOOK OF DOOM and it's doom on Daddy Pig's brain because it's complicated, you see. Peppa tells him not to worry, because she will study said book. Apparently, none of the buttons do anything since nothing happens when Daddy Pig pushes them.

Daddy Pig walks out of the house without his bag, goes into his car and drives down the hill. (Not quite: Daddy left the house without the bag, but the bag magically is in his hands when he is outside and goes into the car. SUZY SHEEP~?!) The keyboard is now moved to the living room. (SUZY SHEEP~?! Also, Peppa pronounces it as "seesinsizer", which is not all that far off.) Mummy Pig turns it on and plays it, which indicates to me that Mummy Pig might have been a music teacher before becoming a story book writer. (Now there's an angle the show should persue now that the book publishing angle has died a really sad death in hindsight. Apparently, the only song they can play is the Peppa Pig opening theme song. Even Pedro F'N Pony had more spice in his stealing of the Bing Bong Song.) Peppa and George try out their skills. I want to say that my ears were bleeding when they were playing, but the sound was so toned down that it merely amused me. It turns out, the buttons are linked to the wireless microphone as they can record sounds and map them onto the buttons. Peppa breaks the ice on that by snorting loudly and mapping the sound to the cyan blue button. Pressing the button, makes the keyboard play the snort sound on the keyboard. Because, why not?! (Then you can do the theme song in snorts. Kind of like Fanboy & Chum Chum doing a classical song with arm farting. Fart jokes are weird.) This is also repeated when George records his favorite catchphrase and I don't even need to explain that one anymore. (Like former self said, this had it's charm.) Peppa and George -- with Mummy's approval of course -- run into various places into the house to record sounds in order to surprise Daddy Pig. Sounds include a trash can klanging, the spotty ball bouncing, Goldie talking underwater in the fish bowl, and the vacuum cleaner. Now this episode really sucks! HAHA!

Ron Sparks: It sucks more than Sean Desmond.

Also, the narrator actually remembers to raise his voice while this is happening. That's a real nice touch of detail there. George jumps up and down in muddy puddles and despite the mud clearly nailing the microphone, the microphone completely no sells the entire thing and keeps going. It doesn't even get muddy somehow. That's like Mr. Fuji's hat not being dislodged after Jake Roberts DDT's him. (SUZY SHEEP~?! I'm more impressed that the electronic piano has some hundreds of feet of range because it remembered all these sounds from so far away. That wireless microphone is awesome!) Mummy Pig comes out and asks if they are done because Daddy Pig will be home soon. They are not done as they run into the house, go to the bathroom and decide to record the flushing of a toilet sound. (Oscar from Fish Hooks just had either a boner, a panic attack, or both.) Anyone who thought Peppa Pig was above toilet humor has just been crushed. That just gave Peppa Pig some 50,000 extra haters now. (Oh, just wait until they do an episode where George learns to potty train properly. Then you will all be very sorry!) Oh, and here comes Daddy Pig, parking the car on the steepest side of the hill. I would think that this spot would be more problematic than recording the toilet flushing. But then again, I'm not a moral guardian, so whatever. In comes Daddy Pig and apparently, his bag magically came back. (SUZ-- Oh wait, he already had the bag when he went into the car. My mistake.) Really sloppy. Daddy wants to play on his new keyboard and does, which somehow, none of the funny music was made. Peppa wants him to play it again and Daddy Pig does, and then Peppa pushes the red button and the snorting sounds come out in the middle of Daddy playing. Wait, I thought the cyan blue button controlled that sound?! I guess when it comes to buttons, it always has to be the dreaded red button of doom. Everyone pushes buttons and apparently, the kids recorded many more sounds that couldn't make it into the episode due to time constraints. More playing by Daddy Pig. We play a lot of this toilet flushing sound as everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. Hey, this was a fun episode, although the toilet flush will not help this show in anyway. Once again, like most cartoons, they have trouble keeping the button continuity straight. *** 1/2 (70%). (Sadly, they didn't even bother to do an ending theme with the funny music. That would have been money!)

Buttercups, Daisies and Dandelions: Here is episode #274 on the animation paper as we head to the blue house on the hill as the red car of Daddy Pig arrives, parking on THAT side of the hill...AGAIN! When this show runs out of luck -- if that ever happens, don't hold your breath -- and it ends, this is one of the thing that will be etched in my brain for all eternity. (Well, until I die, then I cannot care because I would be dead.) Everyone gets out as the Chole family comes out with Baby Alexander in the stroller pushed by Auntie Pig, along with Uncle Pig carrying out the picnic basket and Cousin Chole doing nothing of note. (Do not feed the ducks, that's all I ask.) The Chole family wants to do a picnic in the garden and this prompts a race between Chole, Peppa and George as they run down the hill into the garden, with Chole winning with ease. The adults and Baby Alexander stop near a tree to set up the picnic area. The other kids are in the meadow filled with buttercups, daisies and dandelions, as per the episode title. Chole wants to pick flowers and Peppa picks the daisies. Chole picks up buttercups, George picks up both and gets scolded for that. (Why?! There are lots of flowers in the garden. George deserves better than that.) George takes that well, drops the flowers and runs east to the flower bed to try to pick tulips; but Daddy and Mummy Pig scold him for that. (Blame Chole and Peppa for scolding him for picking up flowers you approved of.) He bails and there is no crying present. Chole and Peppa are picking up flowers which I was sure that it was the opposite of what I thought they were picking earlier, but I guess I was wrong on that. No matter, it's not like it was a big deal or anything. George decides to pick up grass, because he thinks this will make him safe from more scolding. He's wrong, sadly. Chole of course scolds him; but shows him the yellow dandelions he can pick now. Because in the world of Peppa Pig you see, there are only three weedly flowers to pick. Hence the episode title. George drops the grass -- and that will come out wrong no matter what -- and picks the dandelions. Chole claims that she has a neat trick and asks George if he like butter. George is confused and the narrator claims that he doesn't know. Chole shines the buttercup underneath his chin and it glows yellow. That is enough for Chole to claim that George likes butter. Chole is wearing a yellow dress; I call quackery on this one.

The amazing part of this is: While the whole custom is silly, the buttercup glowing under the chin does work in real life since buttercup petal can reflect light, thus the yellow chin. But it is not a serious indicator of anyone liking butter, now come on. Peppa tries to legitimize the concept of liking butter by claiming that she loves butter, just so she can have the buttercup reflect light underneath her chin. Peppa then gets the "bright idea" of using daisies to show that if the light reflects underneath George's chin, then he loves cheese. Peppa puts the daisy underneath George's chin and nothing happens of course. HAHA! Now THAT is quackery! Peppa thinks she has the wrong type of daisy, which is not all that unreasonable considering that there are 20,000 different types of them. (Peppa Pig is our GEEK OF THE WEEK~!) Chole has another idea: time to make a daisy chain, which is basically a necklace made of daisies as Chole demonstrates. Basically, you make a hole in the stem and thread a daisy through it, rinse, lather, repeat. (I should note that stalk is on the BS&P list now. I should have guessed when Nickelodeon took over.) Chole then makes the daisy chain necklace and puts it around Peppa's neck. Chole calls Peppa the Daisy Queen. Of course! Peppa dances around for a while and George mimics that dance. This causes Peppa to blow him off for that because only the Daisy Queen is allowed to do that and George is all glum. Chole has an idea: Make a Dandelion Mane by basically doing the same thing with the daisies, only using dandelions. Now, George is the Dandy Lion King~! HEE HEE! I think we found an animal for George to mimic that is far more recent and still around, compared to the "dinesaur". (No lies detected. It's not a sick burn either.) Uncle Pig calls the children to come over for the picnic and the kids all run and sit down at the picnic area. There are subs, corn on the cob, watermelon, yogurt, fruit, tomatoes and even homemade chocolate cake. Peppa is going on about the Daisy Queen and shines the buttercup under Daddy Pig's chin to see if he loves butter. Mummy Pig takes the buttercup and shines it under Daddy Pig's chin and basically implies that Daddy Pig loves to eat a lot because there is lots of stuff on his tummy which magically comes out of nowhere. Of course! Daddy Pig eats the sub as everyone laughs and suddenly Mrs. Duck arrives quacking to end the episode at 4:30 before she gets fed and annoys me again. (Also, Mrs. Duck is yellow again, thus the reboot erasure of The Golden Boots is on the way.) This was amusing enough. (Mrs. Duck wasn't fed and this was a fun episode, so *** (60%).)

The Marble Run: Last up is episode #275 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the little house on the hill and we head to the office of Mummy Pig as Mummy Pig is on her computer. In comes Richard Rabbit, Peppa, George and Rebecca Rabbit giggling as usual. They want to play Happy Mrs Chicken and I don't care if it's been ten years plus since it was last released, I want to see Peppa Pig on Nintendo Switch. (Wish granted, former self! Sadly, Happy Mrs. Chicken didn't make the cut.) If Bibi Blocksberg can be released in North America, so can Peppa Pig. I would play Peppa Pig just to play Happy Mrs. Chicken. Mummy Pig no sells the deal because she needs to write a new book, I guess. However, all the toys have been played in the bedroom...but wait! Mummy Pig brings out the Marble Run from the toybox and claims that they haven't played that in ages. I wonder why?! (I'm shocked this wasn't a Series One thing because I love the marble run angle in this show! Unironically! This angle never gets old and it's on a show where it cannot overstay it's welcome.) Yes, the children and Mummy Pig are currently in the bedroom in case you thought I would forget. Peppa demonstrates the marble run, which is basically putting the marble into a slot and it goes down the slopes to the bottom in a simple, but effective demonstrate of physics. Peppa then rudely tells Mummy Pig to go to her office and work on her computer. Methinks she's still sore after not being allowed to play Happy Mrs. Chicken ever again. (I think this will be the last mention of Happy Mrs. Chicken, so someone complained about it.) Mummy Pig leaves the room stage left anyway. Rebecca wants to try and Peppa is all bossy. Rebecca cuts her off and puts the marble into the slot because this is so simple and Peppa is just being a troll at this point. After this is successful, Peppa wants to up the ante and turn it into the most Rube-Goldbergish marble run ever. I realize she said it's the biggest and best one ever, but I put nothing past Peppa Pig here. We have wiggling slopes, windmill slopes attached to it as it's George's turn to put the marble in, with an assist from Peppa because George is too short right now. After barely getting that to work and more giggling, Rebecca wants to really up the ante on this. More unusual parts are added, including two whirlpool pieces on top and it's time for Richard's turn as he grabs a lot of marbles. Rebecca lifts him up and Richard throws them and somehow, none of them hit anything but the marble run, which is amazing accurancy for a two year old. (Richard I think said "rollover", must be a British saying.) This marble run is so chaotic, in comes Daddy Pig noticing the evidence right away. Daddy wants to join in and make it even bigger, but there is no pieces of the official marble run in the box.

But, wait! Daddy Pig has a plan. Oh, this should be good for me to mock. Remember what I said about this would be the most Rube-Goldbergish marble run in history?! Well, Daddy Pig starts using jigsaw puzzles for a base, car race track parts, the doll house and some colored stands for further support. Because, why not?! Daddy wants to up the ante on this one and goes into the office and finds three cardboard tubes and takes them while Mummy Pig doesn't suspect a thing. This has to lead somewhere not good, because Daddy Pig is supposed to be dumb in storyline. (Except it doesn't. I finally realized that "bibs and bobs" is a British saying.) As he returns, the kids added blocks, box, a tree, a turned over basket and Mr. Dinesaur as an entrance! Yip, this is officially the most Rube-Goldbergish marble run ever and Peppa don't care. (Neither do I. This is awesome!) There are train tracks and other assorted stuff; just to increase the absurdity levels to thirty-three now. Finally; it's time to try this thing out and if this run is pulled off perfectly, I'll be beside myself. (Well, start being beside yourself, because...) Daddy Pig is the one to try this out first as Peppa is being bossy, so Daddy Pig cuts her off and starts the marble run. I see they all finally found a way to reel in Peppa's bossy attitude here. It's much more exciting to watch the marble run than it is to do play-by-play though. There is a ferris wheel toy being used here as well along with a globe in a symbolic "going around the world" spot, according to Peppa. It bounces off the conveniently placed clown horn and sadly, it bounces on top of Mr. Dinesaur because I felt the finish was it would go into Mr. Dinesaur's mouth. But of course not, because the marble bounces out of the room, down the stairs, into the living room, while switching the front door light on. It bounces about two dozen times off pictures, sofa, love seat, and the lamp post before rolling onto the ground. Daddy Pig then runs in and panics because the lamp post is way too close to the television set where Goldie and her fishbowl are on top of said set. Daddy Pig runs in, grabs the fishbowl to safety and Goldie does a flip in midair and lands into the fishbowl safe and sound. (That was an awesome finish to the marble run with Daddy Pig saving Goldie instead of stopping the lamp post. I love this angle!) Peppa declares that the entire house is a marble run and I cannot argue with that overwhelming logic there. In comes Mummy Pig wanting answers to this outrage. (Sorry Mummy, you started this awesome angle, and it went to it's logical conclusion. That's your fault!) Peppa simply calls it for what it is and everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. This was really awesome as they kept overkilling the moment for my pleasure and it ended up exactly the way Peppa wanted in the end. **** 1/2 (90%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well, a mostly very good set of shorts this time around. Parking Ticket needs to be seen as Daddy Pig just cannot control his concrete fetish and it got him into trouble again, and not just stupidity this time, it made him into a criminal. A really petty criminal, but still. I was laughing hard on that one considering that Daddy Pig got away with driving on the wrong side of the road in France and Italy several Series ago. The finish was such high comedy that few shows could pull it off this well, with this being a pre-school show. On the one hand, Miss Rabbit is clueless to what is going on; but at the same time, it was better off this way to show that the officers were not above the law. This world is much safer than the real one, sadly. Marble Run was awesome because they overkilled a otherwise just there concept and turned it into instant pleasure for me. Mandy Mouse had the best non-muddy puddle debut ever and it was great. Mandy is a really strong character here as she should be and I was really into her character at the end and want to see her in every episode from here on out. (Wish granted, former self!) The Panda Twins wasn't very good; but Peggi and Pandora Panda were good and they really tried hard, it was just that Gigi Gazelle looked like the biggest idiot in the world in that episode, since her handbag was clearly seen and even Officer Panda would have noticed it. Father's Day was below average due to the horrible glitter bomb joke which I'm glad they have stopped ever since this. The rest was the usual fun stuff and the Chinese New Year episode was a better episode for the Panda Twins anyway. So...

Thumbs up for Parking Ticket, Marble Run and Mandy Mouse. Thumbs down for Father's Day. Thumbs in the middle for the rest and I'll see you all next time.

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