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Twenty Years Of Muddy Puddles: Peppa Pig Series Six #2 Rant

Reviewed: 11/24/2019
Additional Commentary/Edited: 09/13/2024

Time To Really Muddy The Show's Waters!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. We march on with Series Six as there is a children's festival that threatens to be engulfed in lots of mud. Then, lots of pizza, Grandpa Pig has his birthday, strawberries that seem to be more addictive than I give them credit for, metal detectors, books from the world, petting farms, going to a television studio (Wink! Wink! Nudge! Nudge!) and we cosplay a bunch of Roman and learn some Latin in the process. Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Grandpa's Metal Detector: Here is episode #276 on the animation paper as we open on the white house on the hill as Daddy Pig's car arrives and parks on the steepest side of the hill...AGAIN! This will never end as Peppa and George jump out of the car and run down the hill towards the garden where Grandpa and Granny Pig are standing. Grandpa Pig has a watering can and I was begging him to repeat the Swimming incident with Peppa; but it doesn't happen, sadly. Probably for the best, though since George has a robot and water might short circuit it. (Geez, I agree that Peppa Pig is a troll, but Richard Rabbit already did the watering can spot. Grandpa Pig has no reason to do that move, former self.) George doesn't even bother addressing them as the kids show of George's new robot. It's not a dinosaur robot; but then again, we saw what happened the last time George had a dinosaur robot. The cost of batteries was murder on it, I tell ya! It's called Mister Robot; because every name has to be obvious on this show. Makes my life a lot easier to figure out; but not too creative at the same time. (No lies detected.) Peppa takes the robot and sets it down on it's feet on the ground and brings out the CLOCK KEY OF DOOM, explaining that this is the key for the robot to walk all by itself. (Hey, at least it doesn't need batteries.) The robot is yellow and is so square that it's too hip to be a robot from SquareEnix. Don't ask me, that's the best description I could give. (That was very witty of you, former self.) Peppa puts the turn key into the robot's back and turns it. The robot starts walking on it's own and goes into the long grass, and apparently one of the grass blades plucks the key out of the robot and the robot stops moving. Grandpa Pig calls this impressive. I'm impressed that those long grass blades are so strong to do that. Or that turn key is the weakest piece of plastic I have ever seen. I wonder if this robot was sold by Mr. Fox; probably in bundles of three; knowing him. (Oooo, a sick burn on that deadbeat dad there former self.) Peppa states the obvious and Granny blames Grandpa Pig for not cutting the grass -- as if all the grass was slowing it down instead of one freak grass blade -- which is harder than steel plucking the key out. What kind of grass seed is Grandpa Pig using is a better question. (I'm betting it's the Larson & Gary roid grass seed.)

Peppa then notices the key is gone and this triggers George into bawling his eyes out. (Which was actually trigger by Grandpa Pig's explaination, which he did not try to troll George. Yup, it's George thinking the robot has been murdered.) For rant purposes, this is the first episode in Series Six that George has bawled his eyes out. (I deleted a line because this is the first episode of Series Six that George has bawled his eyes out, not just for rant purposes.) Granny tells George not to worry because Grandpa Pig has a secret weapon to find metal keys used in robots. Grandpa Pig goes into the shed and instead of finding the lawn mower like Granny said, he's trying to find his metal detector. In a way, I can see why Grandpa Pig would do this, since if you mow the lawn with objects on it, you could easily break the lawn mower and cause injury to yourself and others. (Yeah, you don't know if that turn key is going to kill you. It happens more often than you think. Take the safe way out and use the metal detector to find it and then cut the grass.) For once; Grandpa Pig is not an idiot. There's just one problem: the box Grandpa Pig brings out is empty. Still doesn't change my opinion on Granny Pig's opinion of cutting the grass first. Peppa just has to tell the truth like an inconsiderable troll and George bawls his eyes out again. I think this is the first time for rant purpose that Peppa Pig has trolled George. (Nah, she's done it before in Series Six, it's the first time her trolling led to George crying though.) Who comes to George's aid? Why it's Mr. Fox and his van as he is selling a wooden frying pan. (Mr. Fox's van not have est. 2018 on it, just to let everyone know this episode was produced in 2018 as per the copyright notice.) That made me laugh. (Something tells me he's selling that frying pan to make sure it's not used to smack him in the face for being a poor father to Freddy Fox. But that is speculation on my part.) Granny claims that they have nothing for them to buy; but Grandpa Pig cuts her off and asks for a metal detector; which Mr. Fox has. Apparently; Grandpa Pig's old metal detector has three settings: Finding Things, Good At Finding Things and Really Good At Finding Things. This is kind of redundant. I would have asked; "do you have a spare clock key first", which I betcha comes in sets of thirty-two. I'm more surprised that they killed the "sets of"gimmick for Mr. Fox because that was hilarious. Everyone cheers as the babyfaces minus Mr. Fox go down the hill as Grandpa Pig is going to demonstrate the metal detector.

He brings out a small coin and it has to be metal, unless these metal detectors are so good that they can find plastic gold. I doubt that one seriously as Grandpa puts the coin in front of Peppa and Grandpa Pig intentionally swings the metal detector to make sure to show what happened when it doesn't find the coin and Peppa is so clueless to notice that she's calling out Grandpa Pig to tell him "You put the coin in front of me"; and I'm paraphrasing here. Either she's clueless and cannot read the room; or she's trolling. I can believe both answers actually. (Peppa's trolling. Suzy would be trolling. Pedro F'N Pony would be clueless and the rest of the kids are a toss up.) Grandpa Pig points out the obvious and Peppa wants him to look for it here; so she's trolling. Grandpa swings the metal detector at the coin and the metal detector beeps like crazy; and he finds the coin. Peppa still calls him out for it, because Peppa Pig is a troll. Peppa wants the metal detector and it's time to find things. First object found is a bent nail and this is smart because if you find everything, you can clean up the grass and then mow the lawn later without hurting anyone or damaging the equipment. They groan; but they keep on looking. Object #2 is a metal spoon which Granny finds. (She also wonders why it's there?! Good question actually!) Peppa thinks this is fun, and it is fun; but George wants to find that pesky clock key for his robot. Object #3: George's key, so they didn't waste anymore time than they need too. Now, normally this means Cartoon Duck Syndrome would strike again. However; we still haven't found the original metal detector. (Yeah, there is a reason to continue the search.) Peppa wants to wind up Mr. Robot; but George cuts him off and grabs the key for safe keeping. No more blades of grass on turn keys until that lawn is mowed. Besides, we have to make sure all the objects are out of the grass before mowing anyway. Grandpa Pig tells him not to worry though; because the metal detector will find it as he places it near the grass and it goes haywire because he found the first metal detector. YAY! Everyone cheers as Grandpa Pig is so happy to find it because he now has two metal detector and he can use one or the other to find it. Peppa asks if both of them get lost and Grandpa Pig proclaims that he'll just mow the lawn. What a stupid idea?! Just because someone got lucky with the bouncy ball not damaging equipment and causing injury in a previous mowing episode within this show doesn't mean you will get lucky AGAIN~ Grandpa Pig! He just couldn't resist being the enabler of Daddy Pig as everyone jumps for the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. I realize that he's making a joke; but it does make him look dumb, despite actually acting sensible the entire episode all things considered. A fun episode otherwise. (I'll split the difference and go *** 1/4 (65%).)

World Book Day: Here is episode #277 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the school house on the hill as we zoom into the room with Gigi Gazelle and almost literally all the kids, except for Wendy Wolf and the Panda Twins. (Absent: The Zebra twins as usual, Wendy Wolf, Peggi and Pandora Panda and Emily Elephant, despite Edmond Elephant being at the group today.) The kids are giggling because they cannot help themselves as Gigi explains that it's World Book Day tomorrow and celebrate the wonders of book. I can sense 99.9% of Republicans trying to run to the exits right now. (Then set the playgroup on fire to burn the books and the anthromorphic animal people inside. That's their wet dream, because torture is the point, you see.) Tomorrow, everyone must dress up as a character or their favorite book. I would love to see them reference Daddy Pig cosplaying a lump of concreate, but I doubt that will happen. (That should have been Peppa's gig, just to troll Daddy Pig again. Sadly, that dream died.) Of course, Pedro F'N Pony, the personification of clueless asks to dress up as Super Potato; but Gigi no sells because Super Potato is on television and not in a book. Wait, Super Potato couldn't even get a comic book deal?! Are comic book characters allowed?! Are graphic novels allowed, too?! Geez, whomever produces Super Potato hates even comic books and that makes me sad. Fairytales are fine since they are in books as the bell rings and we head outside to see all the parents arrive in their cars. Jump cut to the little house on the hill as Daddy Pig drives towards the back door and at least it is parked in a flatter side of the hill. Peppa and George enter the kitchen as Mummy Pig is at the kitchen table having tea. Peppa explains the assignment and Daddy Pig thinks this is going to easy since Peppa has lots of books. Peppa go into her room which has a lot of books on the floor. Book #1: Sleeping princess. Daddy Pig then reads the book and Peppa cuts him off for book #2 as the red monkey as Peppa is indecisive about this. (She's having a Weightlifting Syndrome moment, methinks! Also, the red monkey book has placeholder text which isn't considered a goof because it's both a running gag on this show and probably to avoid legal troubles with copyright maximalists. Just a hunch on that last one. I'll explain more in the next episode.) Daddy suggests Mummy Pig's book Funny Onion; and Peppa instantly blows it off because it's not a real book. What a troll Peppa Pig is?!

I'm surprised Mummy Pig didn't call her out on that one. Sure, it had a funny cautionary tale about computer game nonsense and a story about an onion who made produce cry, but that was money. Well, the first copies of it anyway. Daddy Pig's reading the book made this even funnier in hindsight. (Mummy Pig is blushing with embarassment on that one. A few printing issues my ass!) It's great when the writers actually understand their own continuity and made it make sense. (Well, Peppa made the right choice in the end. Stay tuned!) Mummy Pig blushes on that one as she brings out the fairy book and Peppa wants to dress up as a fairy. (By the way, the fairy on the book is from Ben & Holly's Magical Kingdom.) George makes his choice obvious to anyone who has watched two episodes of this show on who he's cosplaying for World Book Day. Also, the dinesaur (sic) them is a pop-up book; always a treat to see. George is set; but Peppa cuts that off and now wants to be a duck. Peppa should try weightlifting, if her indecisiveness is any indication. (Why a duck?! She's dangerously coming close to Petty Williams cosplaying Scott Steiner territory with this, if you know what I mean.) Scene change to the little house on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as we zoom in and then jump cut to the bathroom as George is brushing his teeth with Mummy Pig looking on. Peppa comes in wearing a pirate's hat and her pirates book. She has basically decided to steal Danny Dog's gimmick now. By the way, the pirate on the book is the same one who was smart enough to not go inside the police station when George lost Mr. Dinesaur. Geez, I didn't know pirates brushed their teeth. Although that might be because Mummy Pig asked her if they brushed their teeth and Peppa took the tooth brush and brushed her teeth. The kids all go to their bunk beds and Peppa admits that she is not ready for World Book Day because she's indecisive. At be fair to Peppa; I'm like this a lot more often than most people give me credit for, so I know that sinking feeling. Daddy Pig lets Peppa decide in the morning and we go to bed. Jump cut to morning at the school house on the hill as all the kids run into the school with their costumes on. Candy Cat is a witch, Pedro is basically the woodcutter from Little Red Riding Hood. Sadly; this means that it is true that Super Potato never got a book deal, comic or otherwise. Funny since Super Potato is supposed to be real in this world. Freddy is a police officer from Great Britian, Rebecca Rabbit is a carrot. Yes, there is a carrot anthro in a storybook. Danny is a sailor, but not a pirate; so Peppa could have choosen that and none would be the wiser.

Suzy is a nurse, so the fairy was another one she could have chosen. (Besides the ones mentioned by former self: Zoe Zebra is a knight, Richard Rabbit is an astronaut, Molly Mole is a princess, Mandy Mouse is basically from The Netherlands in a neat clapback to International Day that made me mellow out on that episode a little tiny bit. The biggest surprise is Emily Elephant is back wearing noble clothes despite not being in the episode to begin with. SUZY SHEEP~?! Edmond is not wearing a costume, I guess his clothes is a green onion, which is not the same as Funny Onion. Edmond is not a clever clogs.) Pedro blows the horn as I'm mistaken as Danny Dog is Dogbeard the Sailor, so the pirate one is out. I should also point out that the males picked their favorite characters because they are strong, brave and kind to old ladies. I don't know if Gigi should be happy or disappointed by this, since the same thing over and over again. Candy Cat at least breaks the repetition by "threatening" to turn Gigi into a frog after this is all over and she and Gigi have a hearty laugh over it. Also, in an amazing twist, Edmond actually decides to cosplay as the Funny Onion. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! See, someone did like Mummy Pig's book after all! Peppa was right to not pick that one, but not for the reasons Peppa thinks anyway. Edmond picks off a random number and he's two; but Gigi is a teacher, so she cannot act like a cat with the human age of 42. I'll leave that as an exercise to the reader. (She's tired of your antics and sick of your shit. Kind of like me half of the time and I'm only five years older in human years. Edmond was cosplaying the numbers, not the onion. Edmond is a clever clogs after all, my mistake.) George of course is a dinosaur and sadly, he doesn't show off the book because Gigi is more concerned about Peppa's choice. In comes Peppa cosplaying all of her favorite books and basically looks like a whacked out Wuzzle. Hey, she did a better job in decising her indecision than I ever could, so points to that. Peppa runs down her favorite books as Suzy basically gives Peppa the name and everyone laughs to end World Book Day at 4:30. By the way, I apologize for now doing all the kids and their costumes because the footage was on a shaky mobile phone and I couldn't tell most of the background characters, although Gerald seems to be Bob the Builder. (One of the pitfalls of ranting on the episode as quickly as they aired.) Edmond and Peppa stole the show as usual and this was another fun episode in a series of them. Notice how better the show is when you actually pay attention and don't react? (This was more entertaining on the second viewing, so *** 3/4 (75%).)

Children's Festival: Next up is episode #278-#279 on the animation paper as the episode opens with a rainbow of colors for the title to compenstate for the fact that the Pig family is driving on a boring road. They talk about the children's festival for a while, and Mummy Pig isn't too keen on rain falling on this festival because it might get a little muddy; which Peppa likes by the way. Jump cut to the festival, which is basically Funfair with a lot of tents and a stage. Here is another appearance of Mandy Mouse and Mrs. Mouse. (Mandy Mouse doesn't like Miss Rabbit's announcement or the noise, judging by her blank state during the close up stage scene.) Also, Grampy Rabbit is on the Ferris Wheel and Grandpa's mocking team is here as well. Mr. Stallion and Mrs. Corgi, everyone. Miss Rabbit is on the stage area addressing the crowds who are clearly ignoring her. Mrs. Cow is seen on the Ferris Wheel and a lot of reused models that make Pokemon Sword and Shield look like a AAA-game. Oh wait...Mr. Labo is playing strong man because he's a toxic muscline man. Molly Mole (and her mother) are here, along with Candy Cat, Mummy Cat and...oh screw it, basically everyone is here although I don't see Grandpa and Granny Pig here. Yet. Doctor Hamster is a clown on slilts in the background and she might as well consider this a new job if her license ever gets revoked as a vet. Mummy Sheep and Suzy Sheep are here to greet the Pig family. Wendy Wolf is in the foreground and apparently, she now has a brother in an orange shirt. (Who then teleports back behind Mr. Badger on guitar. SUZY SHEEP~?!) Edmond and Zuzu or Zaza Zebra are walking around with Mr. Badger playing guitar. (Former self tries to figure who is who, but misses a lot. Simon Squirrel wearing Robin Hood gear is at the archery target. Miss Rabbit is on stage. Doctor Brown Bear, Mummy Zebra, Mr. Rabbit and several others are on the Ferris Wheel. The rest are palette swaps of some of the characters on the show. Get used to it, this is going to be a trainwreck to figure out who is involved. EVERYONE IS HERE~ is close to as accurate as it is going to get on this show.) We exchange notes for a while as Daddy Pig claims that there are building things and sandcastles, which I would think would be building things as well. Also, telling stories as this is what Peppa wants to do first. Everyone into the story telling tent as this is basically the kids from playgroup, minus Gerald Giraffe, Mandy Mouse, Molly Mole and the Panda Twins. (Weird since Mandy Mouse is the one getting a push on this show.)

No Gigi Gazelle, since the storytelling is done by Miss Rabbit or Mummy Rabbit, which doesn't matter who anyway. Besides, Miss Rabbit's gimmick is getting more and more tragic as this series continues on. Okay, it's Miss Rabbit since she was wearing the stage hat from earlier and takes it off to put on a pirate hat. We also prep the crowd by doing some pirate sounds and then it's storytime. Okay, I was sobbing with laughter at what happens next: Miss Rabbit is reading the pirate story and you can clearly see the pages and written in the pages are words like "Excepteur", "occaecat" and "cupidatat". It's an inside joke to "Lorem Ipsum"; which is basically placeholder text in graphic design. (For a laugh, there is such a thing as a car from Toyota, called the Ipsum.) Only Sint wasn't used at all, which indicates that the writers were worried that it might be translated into "shit", somehow. I don't know why they bothered, I guess they didn't want Al Khan to infect this episode or something. Even funnier, when the story ends in ten seconds, Captain Dog is clapping like crazy and praising this book like it's a Pulitzer winning novel, while the kids look confused and are slow clapping. HAHA! That was funny. (Actually, only Freddy Fox did the slow clap and only because he was looking at Captain Dog in the process. Hilariously comical!) Even funnier, Captain Dog uses this to try to walk out and break the stips for retirement complete with dream seqeuence of him riding his ship looking for the island. Danny Dog stops him to remind him that the story is fiction and also the STIPS~! And Captain Dog gives up! HAHA! Danny Dog was literally grinning from ear to ear after THAT one. Everyone leaves the tent as on the Ferris Wheel is Doctor Brown Bear with Belinda Bear, for some reason. I thought Belinda's father wasn't Doctor Brown Bear in one of the Series Five episodes. Okay, this was a little creepy. (Oh, those waters are going to get even muddier -- no pun intended -- when Brigt Bear makes her debut in Series Eight!) There is more denizens as we make it to the "Making Things" tent as Mummy Pig is relieved that there is no rain and Peppa Pig still wants that mud. Into the tent of making things as Miss Rabbit runs in literally taking off the pirate hat and it's the noble dunce cap. (How symbolic nowadays?! Kids: Peppa, George, Richard Rabbit, Edmond Elephant, Emily Elephant, Wendy Wolf, Candy Cat, Danny Dog and Pedro F'N Pony.) Since it's time for stuff from the olden days.

I betcha George makes a dinosaur, just to really jackhammer the "olden" point home. I check the video...Damn; I'm so good. Yeah, they are dragons, but that's an improvement from what Miss Rabbit was suggesting they make, which are hats and baskets. (The kids totally blank stare her on those two, but dragons make them excited.) Edmond has to remind us that dragons are not real. I think dragonflies and kimodo dragons might have something to say about that, you child prodigy. I mention this because even "clever clogs" offends Edmond now. The family heads outside and Gerald Giraffe is in the background with Molly Mole now. Apparently, this festival allows for camping out at night and it's a two day festival. Mummy Pig is not amused by this camping stuff. So, she now hates camping after camping with the family in previous series?! That is totally random in my view, and not in a good way. (I don't get it that decision since Daddy Pig is the one who has problems with camping.) We scene change to AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) with the Pig family meeting Suzy Sheep reading a comic and Mummy Sheep reading Ezza Magazine while having orange juice with lemon slices and umbrellas. Basically the Sheep family is not camping, but basically camping like they are in their own home, complete with modern house stuff like a full scale bathroom and flush toilets. Yes, you can have a full scale bubble bath in this tent. I guess Mummy Sheep found a better job after all that didn't involve Suzy not seeing Peppa anymore. Yes, they have a living room with full cable television showing Super Potato. Of course, this camping has a name: Glamping. (Hey, I wouldn't mind doing this once.) Instead of camping with them for the night, the family leaves and they are going to camp like they always do in this series, because Daddy Pig is the SPORTS MAN OF MAN~! At least he's more reasonable then most; but after glamping; C'MON MAN~! (Now I can use this whenever I please since ABC canceled that segment.) Daddy Pig puts up the smallest yellow tent he has and does it with ease. Miss Rabbit comes in as she somehow got her stage hat back in the confusion and asks how they are doing. Peppa claims that it's brilliant as Mummy and Miss Rabbit are relieved that it's not raining. One more note: When Monteray Jack says "Too right"; it's not an Australian motif, it's more of a British motif since Miss Rabbit says the same thing here. The family gets into the tent as Miss Rabbit leaves. Daddy Pig declares that it will NEVER....EVER rain tonight as he somehow manages to get in the tent without any trouble this time, so that tent is a TARDIS, sort of. We zoom out and then it rains like crazy to end part one at 4:30. The end credits feature festival goodies; but little else except for Irish music and the rain sound effects. This was the usual festival episode with some funny moments. Remind me to never let Daddy Pig be a weather man ever again. *** 3/4 (75%).

Muddy Festival: We conclude this festival in the morning at the yellow tent as the entire place is filled with mud. (Also, the title card is brown in color like mud after being rainbow colors in the previous episode.) Even better, the rain stops just as the rooster crows as the narrator sums it up nicely. Out comes Daddy Pig, who remembered to put on his green boots no less. (Proving that he knew he was screwed the moment he said that it will never rain last night.) Daddy Pig slips and splashes into a conveniently placed muddy puddle. Sadly, it's not as funny as Daddy Pig walking into a swimming pool during the Italian holiday since the muddy puddle looked rather contrived and forced. Mummy Pig is already asking Daddy Pig about the mud and Daddy claims that it's a little bit of mud; and everyone else comes out. Mummy Pig is already hating this, with Peppa loving this and jumping up and down like this is her dream vacation. (Mummy Pig even swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (oh my goodness!). Maybe it's time to consider not going to this event if you are going to groan about rain and mud. This is like Nova Scotia!) George loves it too and is muddy already. Daddy Pig looks at the guide which reminds them that this area gets rain and a little bit of mud; which pisses off Mummy Pig because this is the most mud she has ever seen, and Peppa calls it brilliant. Nice troll move there, Peppa. (For once, I don't blame her for trolling Mummy Pig here. Going to a motel wouldn't have changed a thing. Mummy Pig is the GEEK OF THE WEEK~!) The festival continues without anyone except Mummy Pig caring about the mud despite some has splashed on the tent somehow. The next event is making sandcastles, which I would think would be an issue since any sand has turned into mud. (By the way, there is no splashing when they walk in mud. SUZY SHEEP~?!) The kids and grown ups make it to the area and in comes Miss Rabbit in full yellow rain gear. Wendy Wolf is gone and Gearld Giraffe makes his appearance giggling as Miss Rabbit points out the obvious problem. But no worries, we are going to do the next best thing: Make mud castles. Of course! It's basically the same as sand castles, only with mud. (The kids jump and they creates a mud splash. Alloy, be jealous!) Daddy Pig praises Miss Rabbit for the brilliant compromise and Miss Rabbit sums it up nicely for me: It always rains, so we always make mud castles. HAHA! Daddy Pig and company check the guide and next up is the tent of painting. We head there as the children have made it with a whiplash jump cut.

Miss Rabbit runs in and has containers of colored mud. So, the mud is the main ingredient in paint?! Really, show?! (Actually, there is such a thing in real life thanks to this link.) Peppa is pondering over what to paint with mud paint and then decides to paint a muddy puddle. Of course! She paints a muddy puddle, the rest of the kids are doing the same thing in different colors. Sadly, they cannot keep the pictures as Peppa and George skip out of the tent and want to do something next. Daddy Pig has something he considers fun and my heart sank because it is about the history of concrete in the olden days and this bores Peppa. (So, back to 6500BC for this study. I can see why Peppa was so bored.) I'm more concerned about Daddy Pig's kink being out of control again, considering what happened to him in Simple Science. We head to the CEMENT MIXER OF DOOM area and lo and behold; there is Peggi and Pandora Panda! YAY! All the main kids are here! (After that, Peggi and Pandora rarely appear until their big appearance in Families.) Miss Rabbit runs in and takes off her beret and now wears a construction hat. No surprise, no one cares about concreate but Daddy Pig. But wait, the concreate has been muddied; so Miss Rabbit has a better idea. Let's do Peppa's favorite past time. You know what it is, you know. It just had to end this way. (DING! They clearly did this to allow the Panda Twins to do the past time.) Daddy Pig doesn't mind anymore and cannonballs into a muddy puddle, everyone is now officially muddy, and even Mummy Pig is laughing at it. (Daddy Pig also got mud smeared onto the hard camera.) Mummy Pig don't care about mud anymore. Until dancing is involved and now she's regretting it. Of course! On stage coming out of retirement is Gigi Gazelle and the Rocking Gazelles playing the remix version of the Muddy Puddles song! And doing a great job too. Everyone dances and jumps up and down in muddy puddles of course! And I do mean everyone, outside of the Rocking Gazelles of course. There is officer Panda and Mrs. Grey Squirrel joining in for security reasons and the Kangeroo family made it all the way from Australia! (Not only that, Mr. Wallaby makes a cameo along with Granny Wolf and Mrs. Badger makes her unofficial debut here!) Peppa loves muddy festivals, everyone loves muddy festival. Sadly, I was hoping they would do the biggest backsplash laugh in history; but it doesn't happen to end the episode at 4:30. They merely laugh, which is lame considering the cameos in this two parter. (The ending contains mud and events from the episode with Peppa singing the Muddy Puddle dance remix.) It was a lot of fun with a lot of neat cameos, but it was the usual Peppa Pig love in, so *** 1/2 (70%).

Strawberries: Here is episodes #280 on the animation paper as we begin this one on the white house on the hill as the back door opens and out comes Granny, Grandpa, Peppa and George walking down the hill. They are building up to showing off the epic strawberry bush to make strawberry jam. Grandpa Pig lifts the barrier off his strawberry bush and it's literally...one strawberry. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That was funny! It turns out that the reason behind the one strawberrry is because the birds ate the rest. (As proven by the eaten strawberry bushes in the foreground, which former self missed.) One purple bird appears to end the last one when Grandpa Pig lifts the white cage, because this was not enough to contain those birds. Even Daddy Pig has better luck than this. Granny Pig is not amused and Grandpa Pig is angry at those cheeky bastard birds, so strawberry jam making is cancelled. But wait, Granny has a better idea: just go to a strawberry farm. (The whole buildup and payoff was glorious. Sadly, this episode is about to fall off a cliff.) We logically scene change to the strawberry farm, which is basically a green house with a gift shop inside and strawberry farm patch outside. Basically, exactly like in Nova Scotia, only cooler, I guess. I'm talking about the quality here. To no one's surprise, the owner is Miss Rabbit and this is getting tiresome now. (Job # 1031!) Why not Mr. Bull or even Mummy Rabbit?! (Even better, debut Mr. Badger as a farmer here! They have been building him up since Potato City, for crying out loud. I realize Mrs. Badger debuts a few episodes down the road, but she's an animal farmer.) Damn, this angle is way too overplayed to be healthy now. The babyfaces all walk to the other side of the hill and Peppa and George pick out the baskets, as Miss Rabbit tells them to pick as many as they like. Up from the hill of strawberries is Pedro F'N Pony and his family; and somehow, Pedro has a full basket of strawberries while the parents baskets are empty. Somehow, the parents repulse when strawberries are mentioned because in storyline, the adults ate all the berries because they are addictive, or something. The problem here is: Most parents don't eat strawberries and it is usually the kids who do. Even if it was the kids, even I didn't get a stomach ache after eating them and even I didn't eat baskets full of them.

Of all the times to make Pedro look smart, this is the spot they picked and it was at the expense of the adults. I shake my head in disbelief and I betcha Granny and Grandpa suffer the same fate as well. Pedro and family walk stage left as Mr. Pony doesn't want to see another strawberry again. Grandpa Pig takes it as hating them, I disagree violently with that diagnosis. The Pig family walks down to the strawberry patch and Peppa eats one berry along with Grandpa Pig as the strawberries are tasty. And I can atest to that one, so no worries. TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM ensues as they do a whiplash jump cut to make sure Peppa and George have full baskets of berries. As I suspected; Peppa is smart enough to eat one; but put another one in the basket. The grandparents are dumb and just eat and I betcha they get the stomach aches just after this song is over. I check the video...Damn, I'm good and shame on the parents for enabling kids there, show! I hope you are proud of yourselves. (Yeah, these parents are too dumb, but; this does have it's charm in subversion at least, so they are all GEEKS OF THE WEEK~!) Peppa and George talk to the purple birds and even the purple birds do not want any part of the strawberries. (That's because they ate too many. It would have been funnier if they didn't eat any.) I love strawberries, but I didn't think they were THIS addicting. Grandpa and Granny pretty much sum up their aches and pains as it's home time. Jump cut to Danny Dog with Captain Dog and Mrs. Dog on the top of the hill with baskets. We basically get the same interactions as with the Pig family and Pony family, only the Pig adults are the ones with the stomach aches. In fact, the promos they cut were almost word for word actually. Jump cut to Miss Rabbit at the greenhouse as I discover that the green house is in fact the gift shop and the babyfaces must go through it to pay up. Miss Rabbit goes through the inventory, which is all strawberry themed and nothing else, DUH! Granny and Grandpa proclaim that they have had their fill. Miss Rabbit rings in Peppa and George's baskets as it's eight dollars for both baskets. Sounds about right as she wants to make strawberry jam and the grandparents groan again. Then they stop selling and laugh anyway -- killing the gimmick that the episode was shooting for -- ending the episode at 4:30. Great opening segment, below average episode otherwise, as they made the adults way too dumb for my liking. (While former self is correct about how dumb the parents are here, it had it's charm. So, I'll be generous and go *** (60%).) The Strawberry song continues into the credits, by the way.

Grandpa Pig's Birthday: Next up is episode #281 on the animation paper and the episode opens on the little house on the hill, with Daddy's pig parked at the front door. (Now, only Granny Pig, Auntie Pig, Uncle Pig, Cousin Chole and Baby Alexander are left without birthday episodes for the Pig family.) Out comes the Pig family dressed in their very best clothes. Outside of the shoes, Peppa and George best clothes are almost the same as their regular clothes. HAHA! The kids are laughing in the backseat as the narrator explains that it's Grandpa's Birthday and Grandpa Pig likes fancy rich stuff for his birthday. Peppa sing songs about a party and then Daddy drives the car down the hill and onto the boring road as Daddy kills the party angle dead by saying that it's not a party; it's basically a meal at a fancy resturant on Grandpa Pig's birthday. However, it'll all be fun because Peppa has never been to a formal resturant before and Peppa is fine with it. We head to the resturant on the hill; which should be it's official name. "Resturant On The Hill"! Daddy Pig parks his car and everyone goes inside as Mr. Labo and Mr. Bull are at a table and I'm shocked no one threw them out for being sexist. Mummy Rabbit and Mr. Rabbit are at a table, along with the adult Cat family, adult Fox Family and Mr. Stallion and Mrs. Corgi. (I believe Mummy and Daddy Mole are sitting sort of off-camera. One of the waiters is a palette swap of Mrs. Goat in a maid's outfit.) Because they have to cameo in a Grandpa Pig focused episode. Peppa runs in and sits at a table as Daddy Pig is telling her to come back, because the waiter must show them to their table. The head waiter comes in, who looks like a brown wolf with a mustache wearing the waiter's tuxedo. (Actually, it's Mr. Hyrax in a waiter's outfit. He don't care because he's a professional, you see. Peppa's only a professional in trolling.) He's voiced by David Graham, who voiced King Alfonso in the episode where Daddy Pig tested a block of concreate and was Mr. Labo as well. He don't care about Peppa's rudeness and shows the family to the table where Grandpa Pig is as they walk towards the table, and Peppa says "hello" to everyone and all of them actually say "hello" back to her; all while Daddy Pig is basically telling her to shut up. (Also, Mummy and Daddy Fox show up.)

Peppa don't care and neither does the head waiter. And it's not a party. (Mummy and Daddy Pig's teeth smile show that they know that this will turn into one and it will be glorious!) We finally make it to Grandpa Pig's table as Peppa shows off a birthday card to Grandpa Pig, so it might not be a party, but it has the trappings of one. Grandpa Pig thinks he's too old for a party, but Peppa don't care and neither does George. Evidence #1: Using the napkins as party hats. HAHA! Mummy Pig takes them off and puts them around the necks explaining the real use of them. I don't think this is enough protection for their best clothes, considering that if this episode doesn't end with them jumping up and down in muddy puddles, then screw this show! (Watch the writers book a better finish than former self has in mind. Happens all the time with former me.) The head waiter comes in and asks for orders for drinks and Mummy Pig wants a bottle of water. Head waiter then makes the error of asking for anything else because Peppa wants those party hats and the head waiter has the look of "Are you serious?!". Yes, Peppa is serious because it's Grandpa's birthday. (Hey, nothing wrong with pointing that out.) Head waiter decides to bail to see what he can do. Usually this means, there are no party hats and Mummy Pig even points this out....and then the waiter returns with a platter of...party hats. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Mummy Pig is shocked as we start the ordering of food and the head waiter's recommendations are so hilarious that it's better to just say "Strained Carrots In A Mussel Shell" and be done with it. (The menu also has "Dried Fish with Seaweed Cheese" and "Cream of Suede Vegetable Soup.") Grandpa and Granny order the dried fish and Daddy wants some cream of Suede, please. (Mummy Pig calls the shell a kough I do believe.) George and Peppa want spaghetti, please; as George still hasn't gotten over that speech impediment, despite at times sounding like he can speak perfect English. So, he's just trolling with it now. The head waiter claims that it's not on the menu, but he'll ask the chef about it before bailing. It really is one of the items, but it's on the wrong menu.

I'm amazed that Peppa has never been to a resturant, but remembers the children's menu of said resturant, for some reason. (So, you are saying that this whole resturant thingie is extremely sus.) Mummy Pig scolds Peppa for her trolling and this is the fastest resturant in history because literally seconds after Mummy Pig scolds Peppa, the head waiter already has Mummy and Daddy's meals served. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) That looks like a carrot on butter to me. I smell some false advertising here as the dried fish is literally minnows. (Fancy resturants are the least hearty of meals, methinks! Probably cost hundreds of dollars as well.) Peppa and George gets the dome treatment as they get spaghetti with tomato sauce and basil. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! All the adults try to weasel out of their meals and want spaghetti and I was expecting the head waiter to say "no, this is only on the children's menu"; but Mrs. Goat and Mrs. Giraffe all serve the same meal anyway. (Yes, we finally found out where Mummy Giraffe works!) The head waiter is grating cheese on George's pasta as I have "East Side Mario" flashbacks again. Peppa, once she gets into the trolling mood, refuses to turn back because she wants balloons now. (Mummy and Daddy Pony, along with Mummy Cat and Mummy Dog are at tables as well. SUZY SHEEP~?!) She is hellbent into making this an actual party and I'm waiting with baited breath to see dancing and music played before our eyes and ears, in that order. The head waiter bails and returns with a string of balloons and ties them to Mummy's chair. I'm glad that they are not filled with helium, that would suck and Mummy Pig would probably be hating life. (See Mr. Potato at the carnival. She at least will not be a steamed ham in this one.) Daddy Pig then mention that all this needs is a cake and the lights go dim and in comes the head waiter with homemade chocolate cake with seven lit candles. I'm guessing that it's one for each decade, so Grandpa Pig is 70 years old now. Yeah; Grandpa Pig blows out the candles and the head waiter calls for birthday music and claps as it's time to DANCE, DANCE, DANCE TO THEIR DOOM! HEEHEEHEEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Yup; it's a birthday party now, Peppa wins, LOL! (Complete with disco ball, just to make everyone feel older.) The head waiter is also dancing for fun as Peppa sums it up and then we all shout "hooray" to end the episode at 4:30. See, I didn't buy that Peppa has never been in a resturant before. I love this episode actually. **** (80%).

Petting Farm: Here is episode #282 on the animation paper as the episode opens on the boring road with Daddy Pig, Mummy Pig, Peppa, George and Rebecca Rabbit for some reason. Peppa asks what is a petting farm and Mummy Pig explains where you get to meet tiny little animals. Apparently, Mummy Pig is bored with the kids and wants to pet them at a petting farm. Oh come on, now! You could see this coming a mile away, vision or no vision. Apparently, stroking them is different from petting them as the kids are in awe of this. (I'm guessing stroking them is a British term, and we'll leave it at that.) Daddy Pig gives them a fair warning that before and after this event, they wash their hands as the car makes it to the petting farm and parks on the steep side of the hill...AGAIN! We see a badger anthro wearing a green coat, blue pants, purple boots and a red scarf as this is Mrs. Badger's speaking debut, whose voice is the same person who voices Mummy Pig, Morwenna Banks. I'm guessing that she is doing her Doctor Hamster voice for this one. No, she sounds similar to Captain Zelza from Teddy Ruxpin now that I think about it. As promised earlier, the kids wash their hands in the conveniently placed basin and use soap to scrub and now I see where Peppa learned the song for washing their hands from, it was Mrs. Badger's song. Nice bit of continuity from the writers there. (It's basically the "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" song, former self.) It's always nice when the self-contained episode actually remember their past episodes. (I wrote the Pizza! Pizza! review before this by the way.) Although Rebecca shouldn't put her hands near her mouth when giggling. It's time to see all kinds of small animals, starting with the chickens. It's lunch time, so it's feeding time. (At least the chicken are not named this time. We don't want another banned episode in the USA now, do we?) Here the kids feeding the animals is perfectly acceptable because they are supervised by someone with expertise in animals, who knows what to feed them. I also had hoped Mrs. Badger teaches them about only feeding animals if they know what to feed them, but that would take too long, even in a 44 minute episode, so this will have to do. Peppa and Rebecca throw bird seed in front of the chickens. (Mrs. Badger never said corn.) George does the dump corn method, which sounds less abusive. Mummy calls the chickens lucky and the chickens burp a lot. Next up is the kids holding chicks gently from a basket as they stroke and pet them gently for a while, mostly in order for the narrator to complete his promo which is as overwrought as ever. (This is so sexist. Or not.)

Mrs. Badger has more animals and they are guniea pigs. But wait, we must wash our hands. Okay, that sounds reasonable even if Daddy Pig never mentioned "during the event" to do that; but you can never be too careful. We repeat the spot of washing hands again and now the kids are singing Mrs. Badger's washing hands song. We head to the guniea pigs area and they are the hairest guniea pigs ever and they are pooping right on camera as well. Uh-oh! I smell a stinky moral guardian alert flashing on my screen. Or not, I guess the moral guardians are more concerned about Daddy Pig being fat shamed again. Speaking of Daddy Pig, he's not thrilled about these animals and thinks they are ugly, speaking of shaming. I wouldn't call them adorable, but they are interesting to say the least. (They are also burping and farting on camera as well.) Peppa wants to keep it as a pet, even though (a) I don't think Mrs. Badger would sell her animals, (b) Daddy Pig doesn't seem to like the prospect and (c) Peppa already has Goldie the goldfish as a pet and has enough problems with Goldie as it is, maintance wise. Logically; the answer is no. On the other hand, at least it's not a giant whale as a pet like Kit had in All's Whale That Ends Whale. They have the most awkward conversation for and against the pet I have ever heard. Oh yeah, that's easy for you to say Mrs. Badger, you are an expert in taking care of animals! (Why did you give this episode *** former self?! This conversation was awesomely awkward.) Daddy and Mummy Pig are so dumb to not point out that they already have Goldie as a pet that they start trying to misdirect Rebecca into thinking her mom is here...and even I was fooled because in comes Mummy Rabbit with the stroller containing Robbie and Rosie rabbit. (Former self is the GEEK OF THE WEEK~!) I believe this is the first time I have seen them since Mummy Rabbit gave birth to them. The kids all act like they are seeing them for the first time, despite Peppa and Rebecca being responsible for naming them in the first place! Rebecca and Peppa want to cuddle them; but wait! It's time to do the washing hands singing spot again! Hey, there is a good reason for doing this, so I can accept them repeating the spot three times in the same episode! Also, Daddy and Mummy Pig join in for fun as after this, everyone is cuddling animals. Mummy Pig asks if Rebecca had a good time and Rebecca says yes and Peppa recaps the entire trip in case someone missed the last three minutes of the episode. Everyone laughs to end the episode at 4:30. The only thing of note is the guniea pig burping. The song was the best part of the episode, everything else was just there. (Oh, please; that awkward conversation was comedy gold, so *** 3/4 (75%).)

Pizza! Pizza!: Here is episode #283 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the little house on the hill at the back door with Mummy Pig reading Ezza Magazine on a chair while Peppa and George are bouncing the spotty ball. By the standards of this show, Mummy Pig loves doing nothing...AND THE ROCK SAYS NOTHING! (Which Mummy Pig is in fact doing something. I guess the creators wanted to make sure there were flowers and a small potted tree and some bushes in the backyard to show that they are animating more, but does anyone buy this kind of effort?! I just think they drew that for the sake of drawing.) Out comes Daddy Pig asking what fancy stuff do they want for lunch and everyone wants pizza. George basically says the episode title fifteen seconds in. (Which I had today before I did additional commentary for this.) Daddy claims that he's a bit of an expert of making pizza. Considering the last time he made pancakes, I'm not as confident of this as I should be. Peppa and George want to help and Daddy Pig agrees to it so we all head to the kitchen table as we bring down the stuff to make pizza, including the toppings. George brings out a pineapple for fun because he loves pineapple on his pizza and this causes Daddy Pig to claim that pineapple is not right on pizza and might be against the law. And sweet corn isn't?! If sweet corn is a pizza topping, then so is pineapple, you meme hater! (Please cite case law on this, or Daddy Pig can get his GEEK OF THE WEEK thingie out of his system.) The narrator has to remind everyone that putting pineapple on pizza is perfectly all right and not against the law. (If you have to remind everyone that, then you need more help for mental illness than me.) The first thing we do is sing the "Wash Your Hands" song while washing and scrubbing hands in sink with soap and water. They also clean the table with a yellow cloth and put aprons on for fun. Sadly, when they mix the flour and water; Peppa and George cannot do their contracted messy stirring spot because the dough becomes so sticky that it's impossible. (This is mightly impressive for dough that has no yeast in it. This show must think it's an infection, or something.) It's time for Daddy Pig to knead the dough with flour and claims that you need to be big and strong to knead the dough, which is in fact a lie. You just need good techinque and to not overdo it.

Peppa and George demonstrate my theory nicely here. We divide the dough into four balls and Mummy Pig rolls her with a rolling pin. But wait, Daddy Pig's overestimation of his masculinity levels start to click in as he's going to do the old techinque of flipping the dough and shaping the pizza with his hands and let gravity take it's course. I betcha it lands on the ceiling like the pancake. I check the video...Not quite. It lands on his glasses. Close enough. George and Peppa laugh at his expense, although Peppa's aim on where the dough landed still needs some work. Luckly for Daddy, the pizza dough is shaped well, so he gets the last laugh. It's tomato sauce spreading time and George and Peppa finally get their contracted mess stir spot in. The gist of the topping is to make funny faces with the toppings along with the shredded cheese. Daddy Pig uses mushrooms and olives for his look. I rate that one ***. Mummy Pig uses basil leaves and red onions for her face, ***. Peppa uses tomatoes and sweet corn for her face, *** 1/4 just for the sweet corn reference. Hey, they had to pay off the topping somehow, and it's only fitting for the troll to do it since sweet corn is a troll topping in my humble opinion. George uses pineapple rings and swiss cheese for the mouth; thus winning with a **** 1/2 rating. (No lies detected on the ratings.) We jump cut to the pizzas being in the oven and it's time to clean the table; so Peppa and George basically say "That's your problem, adults" and bail upstairs to play like the trolls that they are, while Mummy and Daddy clean up the mess without even trying to encourage the kids to come back to help. This was so great until that moment! While they are tidying us the kitchen, the bedroom is a total mess of toys and I would think that where this is going now: no pizza until they clean up their room and I would fully approve of this, in a "the trolls got trolled" sort of way. Nope! (By the way, the narrator claims that the adult love tidying up, while they look like they want to be somewhere else. The narrator is a liar!) Daddy calls them for lunch and the kids all run downstairs to the back where the picnic table is set up. Some things never change with this show. Everyone sits down for pizza as Peppa references Mummy's pizza with her face and Daddy's pizza with his face. Daddy claims that it looks nothing like him and I'm not so sure about that. Mummy and Daddy notice Peppa's pig looks like Peppa and George looks like George, which in order is yes and no. They take slices of pizza and laugh while they eat to end the episode at 4:30. This was a really good episode until the kids started weaseling their way out of cleaning up. (Nah, I'm guessing Nickelodeon thought having the kids clean up was considered child abuse, which is fucking rich considering their history. I'll split the difference and go *** 1/2 (70%).)

TV Land: Next up is episode #284 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the little house on the hill with Daddy Pig's car parked on the front door on the right side. We zoom into the living room with Mummy Pig reading Ezza Magazine and Daddy Pig is watching a kids show with Peppa, George, Emily and Edmond Elephant. They are watching Super Potato. Super Potato -- who is not Mr. Potato in a disguise as discovered in Series Five -- does some flips for a while and gets it all his superhero spots. The kids all love Super Potato and he's a step up from Mr. Potato at least, so I cannot argue that overwhelming logic there. Super Potato does his "Eat Your Five" jingle, and Edmond doesn't even bother to correct him and say "seven"; so they have totally erase that moment from Edmond's mind and that makes me sad. (Yup, it was a one off gag and I'm disgusted by this.) I guess it's because Mummy Pig is singing the jingle and realizes that this show is completely repetitive. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! Projection much there, show?! (The song is now running rent free in Mummy Pig's head, that was great.) Even Daddy Pig is questioning this show, so there is a lot of projection in this episode. The kids naturally don't care and this jingle will live on forever. On the other hand, there are worse messages on television than this jingle, even it if is supposed to be eating your seven fruits and veggies. (It's one of those "Maybe good, but overkill" moments.) Everyone wonders how these tiny characters who are supposed to be big can fit inside the television and Mummy Pig calls it magic, Edmond calls it science because Edmond Elephant is a clever clogs of course. Actually, it's part science, part imagination and part money. (No lies detected. But for Mummy Pig to say it's magic: SUZY SHEEP~?!) Mummy Pig is a third right and Edmond is a third right on that count. Daddy Pig suggests that they go to TV Land and see how television is made. TV Land is a big studio on the hill with Super Potato, Mrs. Carrot and Little Plum. Yes; Mr. Potato has been cancelled and blacklisted from Peppa Pig. Serves him right for having the crappiest car in existence. Shame on him! Everyone is in the car with Daddy Pig driving and there is a brown dog like guard in a blue uniform stopping them at the most insecure barrier in history. (It's not a brown dog former self. It's another appearance of Mr. Hyrax!) Anyone who watches this can clearly see the fatal flaw in security here.

No one notices anyway and pretends that Daddy Pig cannot go around the barricade. This is dumb. Daddy Pig says that he doesn't work here and the guard refuses entry. You couldn't call to see if TV Land had tours of the studio available?! Once again, Daddy Pig is dumb. (Daddy Pig has to be the GEEK OF THE WEEK~!) Peppa claims that they are children and want to see how TV is made....and the guard simply lets them in cart-blanche. (Kit Cloudkicker is grinning from ear to ear after that one.) That makes the guard look even dumber than Daddy Pig. I don't think this helps Daddy Pig in anyway, show. Daddy Pig drives in and parks off-screen. Everyone goes into the studio and I was wrong in thinking that Mr. Potato was blacklisted; because there are posters of everyone who had worked for television, including Mr. Potato and Mrs. Potato. One of the pictures includes the footage from the episode where George drove a pedal race car. Poor Danny, though. (At least he lost fair and square. Just wait until they start taking away victories he earned and rendering them into ties.) Miss Banana apparently gets a picture and of course, Miss Rabbit is the tour guide. (Job #1500!) She also has a clipboard with notes for no reason and looks more like a director than a tour guide. We exchange thoughts for a while and then we start the tour seconds later. We head to a sound stage where Mummy Wolf is working along with Mr. Cat (I think, they reuse models a lot more than Pokemon Sword and Shield ever did...Actually, it's a palette swap. At least now we know where Mummy Wolf works. It's in television production.) along with various furries in fruit and veggie costumes (I think, it's hard to tell, actually) as Super Potato is prepping his voice for a while and then greets the babyfaces. Edmond proves his point. Except... they were with Mr. Potato and Super Potato in a previous episode and they were just as big then as they were now. Geez, these writers really think kids have a memory of three seconds. I have a memory of three seconds and I'm 42 years old! Stop punching down on kids, okay?! Miss Rabbit has her out of nowhere megaphone and it's time to unleash the magic, which Edmond replies that it's science. At least Edmond is two years old in storyline and he's a nice guy to have at parties. If this were me, I would look like an asshole. Edmond's a smugass; let's move on to the action. (Edmond is no longer offended by being called a clever clogs anymore.) The lights and camera turn on all by themselves without supervision. I guess the crew is on a smoke break, or something. Oh wait, Mr. Cat is at the camera as he moves it into position.

Super Potato does his jungle and Edmond not once corrected him, even after Miss Rabbit said cut. Did someone complain about the "Eat your seven" moment, even though there was nothing wrong with it?! Hey, it's better than eating seven portions of junk food, that is for sure. (No lies detected.) We get magical effects on wires and transmitter and all this serves is to make Edmond look like a mad elephant, even if all of his promos sound correct. Which they are correct. The payoff of all this is Suzy and Suzy mother at home watching Super Potato on television, while Mrs. Sheep is reading a knitting magazine. Oh my goodness, it's a miracle! A woman on the show is not reading Ezza Magazine! There is a tiny amount of diversity on this show! Pass the tissues! I need to cry now....Okay, let's move on. Yes, Mrs. Sheep sings the jingle in the most breathless, non-exciting voice ever. (Mummy Sheep sounds like someone who is tired of this living rent free in her head and is about to make rent due. That was funny.) Miss Rabbit offers Peppa to be on television and Peppa goes on stage with Miss Rabbit and Miss Rabbit yells action and bails. Peppa stands there and basically says: "What do I do?". I don't know, but I cackled at that one. The irony of Harley Bird saying that is not lost on me, although I'm not sure if it's not lost on Harley. Miss Rabbit tells her to say something, anything. She's already done that Miss Rabbit; it's called "What do I do?". Also cackled at that one. And then I lose my shit as Peppa basically does the opening theme in the world of Peppa Pig with Suzy watching on. The only difference is that they all did the backsplash laugh, which sadly should have been part of the opening since the first episode. Daddy Pig suddenly stops selling because his mobile phone is ringing and Daddy Pig is answering. He gives the phone to Peppa, because it's Suzy Sheep. Suzy loves Peppa being tiny and Peppa don't care because she's on television and asks if she could be on television again and Miss Rabbit loved the scene so much, that she can be on television hundreds of times; which means; the creators just explained how Peppa Pig became a television show forever to annoy the old farts everywhere. (Daddy Pig's teeth smile indicates that he knows he's cooked.) Everyone comes in as Miss Rabbit, the Pig Family, Emily and Edmond do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. Okay, this was the best explaination for this television show existing in the history of television. Really fun episode. **** (80%). (The ending music was "Eat Your Five (Seven)" without the lyrics.)

Roman Day: Here is episode #285 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the white house on the hill as we zoom into the kitchen. Peppa and George are at the kitchen table painting Polly the Parrot. Leave it to George to dinesaur Polly in the process as usual. (George's picture is abstract art.) Grandpa Pig likes the paintings of course. Peppa wants Polly to look at the picture *SNORT* and that is what Polly does and says in that order *SNORT*. HAHA! At least they have brought back the mimicry gimmick as Grandpa puts the pictures on the fridge door. Peppa asks where Granny Pig is and Grandpa claims that she's out with her friends as we hear car honking and we see outside Granny Wolf driving her car with Granny Pig and Gigi Gazelle all cosplaying as the Romans. (I corrected this because Granny Wolf wears glasses and Mummy Wolf doesn't.) I would have went with the Vikings instead, but whatever. (Oh goodie, the "Senior Citizen Historic Re-enactments" angle I have been waiting for. I felt this would have a short shelf life due to BS&P, but they manage to make it exciting each and every time. Don't worry, the vikings cosplaying is coming soon enough and it killed whatever sympathy I had for Gigi Gazelle having her Bing Bong song stolen and perverted by Pedro Fucking Pony.) We exchange notes for a while as we discover that the three women have been doing historical re-enactments in clothes which Peppa calls funny and "hysterical readenactments" in that order. Grandpa Pig shames them into claiming that they only sit around and drink tea and Granny rightfully takes offense to that. (When they explain the cosplaying, Gigi Gazelle calls herself the Emperor. So, Peppa declaring herself king of the playground in Peppa Pig Tales was all Gigi's fault. Why doesn't that surprise me?!) Granny Wolf leaves with Gigi in the car as Peppa wants to cosplay a Roman, and Granny Pig just happens to have two helmets for Peppa and George to play with. (Probably the only time I have seen this: Granny Wolf backs up the car down the hill! They figured it out!) I also love that the helmet tops are drawn to look like the bristles of brooms. Granny Pig also does the Roman chant of "I came, I saw, I conquered". I'm sorry, but Val Venis' version of it was much, much better. (Yeah, but that's barely TV-14, let alone PG!) Grandpa Pig mocks it as her having a cup of tea. Bigot. Yes, Granny is saying the chant in Latin, which I believe is the first time Latin has been spoken of in this show. (Hey, just wait until Peppa meets German National Lottie Llama and her mum. Peppa is going to wish she was somewhere else after getting the biggest sick burn of her life.)

Somehow, Peppa and George are able to chant to this march without screwing it up as everyone goes inside to the kitchen. Grandpa Pig shows off the drawings featuring Polly. Polly repeats Granny's line and then Granny reveals that she made a mosaic out of color pieces showing a daisy on a yellow background. The colored pieces are usually glass in real life. I say this because I'm certain that it's colored plastic here, ala the plastic gold running gag. And I've been proven wrong as the four pigs walk out the back door to Grandpa's shed. Grandpa Pig is looking for colored pebbles and brings out a wheelborrow filled of pebbles and dumps them onto an out of nowhere muddy puddle. Of course! George makes a dinosaur (of course!) and Peppa makes the sky of the dinosaur. After putting the red eyes on the dinosaur, Peppa and George are all muddy as Granny tells them that they need a bath before Mummy and Daddy come back to pick up the kids. George stomps his foot and no sells the deal, because this was just getting good now and she's ruining George's buzz. (George, you are a Roman now. That is insubordation. You will die if you don't do what the Romans do.) Granny then tells George that the Romans were great at bath and since this is Rome, you do what the Romans do: take a Roman bath. George agrees to that. See, you don't need force or violence to get children to do the right thing, sometimes a kind cultural gesture is all you need. We have a Roman bath, which is basically a bath with the Roman helmets on in Granny's bathroom. Peppa and George finish their baths and put on white robes as Mummy and Daddy Pig arrive at the house with their car. Peppa learns her second phrase in Latin which is "Time sure flies" and Polly learns his first words in Latin of course. (Peppa is better at pig Latin than English at this point.) Jump cut to the front door with Mummy Pig peeping through the door inside, calling for the kids as everyone comes down stairs. Grandpa Pig puts leaves on the kids' ears because they are Romans for life. Peppa and George are now wearing bath robes since their clothes are all muddy previously. George learns his first Latin words without any prompting and we get the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. A really fun educational episode that taught the kids a few words in Latin. Why not?! It's not like the English language is some unique language or anything. (This was a really fun episode and deserves a *** 1/2 (70%). It's going to get ever better from here on out. Just wait until they dress up as Hippies, that will be a blast to watch considering how much BS&P fingers have to be in the pie for that one.)

THE REVIEW LINE

Well, another ten episodes are in the books. I wasn't much of a fan for Strawberries because it really made the adult look so painfully dumb here and they made the strawberries look like drugs when they really were not. I eat a lot of strawberries and almost never got this bad of a stomach ache. Most of that was because they were frozen. (True. However, it did have it's charm, so it's no longer a thumbs down episode.) I did love Grandpa Pig's Birthday for Peppa's fun trolling as she acted like she had been in this resturant before despite never actually being in one. She basically got her party kicking and screaming, too. TV Land did suffer from a few problems of continuity and the dumb security issue; however, the finish and ending were glorious and mind blowing. This will live rent free in my head for the rest of my life and it was great. The rest was fun and I did like that George can pronounce Latin words properly, but not English words or dinosaur. Petting Farm was fun, although that awkward conversation shows the level of intelligence between the parents and Mrs. Badger. Overall, a fine set of episodes as Peppa Pig is settling into a groove of good episodes, but nothing really great. This will become a problem when they have no outstanding episodes to have, positive or negative. TaleSpin had the same problem, although almost all their episodes were good. So...

Thumbs up for Grandpa Pig's Birthday and TV Land. Thumbs in the middle for everything else and I'll see you all next time.

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