Return to 50 Webs

Disclaimer#1: All images, characters and material is (C) 1990/1991 Walt Disney Company and is being used without permission. The webmaster has made sure that no money was made in the creation of this web page and that all material used here is used with the up most affection and respect to the Walt Disney Company and the Tale Spin Team.

Disclaimer#2:The views expressed here are solely the views of the webmaster and no one else. The webmaster has no intentions to change anyone's minds about a particular subject and respects the views of the viewers. Comments about this and other editorial can be E-Mail at gweagle@eastlink.ca or signing the Cloudkicker guest book.

Twenty Years Of Peppa Pig Series Six #4 Rant

Reviewed: 03/15/2020
Additional Review: 05/07/2020
Additional Commentary: 09/21/2024

Time For EastEnders Peppa Pig!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. We have are next cosplaying Grannies events which is the Vikings, a moon walk and the Stone Age, made up musical instruments, the debut of Charlotte Sheep, butterflies meeting Sparta, a jet pack, a potato detective about to be cooked, an electric car, and the final burial of Doctor Hamster caused by one of my favorite character of all anthros. How do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Viking Day: Next up is episode #296 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the white house on the hill as the car comes up and parks on the steepest side of the hill...AGAIN! Out come Peppa and George as George hugs Granny Pig and Peppa hugs Grandpa Pig, as Granny Pig is wearing a viking outfit. Yes, this is the second episode in this series alone that they have done cosplaying of the ancient culture. Last time, it was Roman mythology; now it's Norse mythology. I see George no longer speaks when they greet, so someone complained. Why not just have George pronounce their names propely and pay off the angle, instead of having it be a dead end angle?! (2024 Gregory Weagle Says: Well, this falls under the "we did it too much, so we are doing it rarely" category, despite a payoff being better.) Granny Pig explains her cosplaying and her growling is hideously hilarious...in a good way. (You don't say, former self?! That growl was funny and even the kids giggle to admit that it was.) Peppa wants to be a viking and Granny Pig gives Peppa and George helmets to wear. Peppa's growling isn't as good as Granny's. George is slightly better at it though. (Yeah, the emoting wasn't as good as Granny's.) We get the magic car flip moment as Mummy Pig leaves and drives down the hill as everyone has a jolly good laugh. Either at the growling, or the logic break; it doesn't matter anymore. (No lies detected. I betcha the animated sun in the scene was done to distract kids from that logic break. It failed.) We head into the kitchen and on the table is a giant red dragon's head, made of cardboard and fasten with scotch tape. See, it's going on the sailing ship with the other grandmas as Grandpa Pig blows it off as having an excuse to eat cake and drink tea. This offends Granny Pig; because they have a picnic basket with apples and sandwiches, so there you cosplaying, shaming, old, pig man! (Put a pin on this because I'll be refering to this spot later.) The door bell rings and we see Gigi Gazelle, Granny Wolf and apparently, Danny Dog has Grandma Dog, which I think is her debut on this show, much more low key than even Charlotte Sheep.

Gigi is the Golden Viking, Grandma Wolf is the Bronze Viking, Grandma Pig is the Silver Viking, so the Rookie Viking is Grandma Dog, which sort of makes sense in terms of appearance in this show, so nice nuance by the creators here. (I know that Grandma Dog looks similar to Mummy Dog, but the narrator said all the other Grannies and not identified them by name, so this was officially Grandma Dog's debut on this show.) I should note that Grandpa Pig is holding the picnic basket and the dragon's head. Oh, and the kids are coming along and the other Grannies roar, and they do slightly worse than Granny Pig. Gigi points out to Peppa that not all viking helmets have horns, which makes sense until you realize that Gigi has natural horns, so the spot doesn't quite catch. Thankfully, Peppa points that out to us as all the Grandmas and kids leave. (That was funny actually.) Grandpa Pig waves goodbye and is praying to the gods above that he is right about them just eating cake and drinking tea. (And watch the gods prove Grandpa Pig right...) They walk towards the river as Peppa asks if they are going on a real Viking boat, and Granny Pig says no, because they are hiring Grandpa Pig's boat. Considering her voice infliction in this scene, she is probably doing this to spite Grandpa Pig for scoffing at this cosplaying stuff. (Huge, if true.) They all get on the boat and since Gigi is the Golden Viking, she gives out the orders. (Which is odd since Granny Pig knows the boat more than Gigi Gazelle.) Once again, the kids must wear life jackets, but the adults don't. I'm certain in Canada, adults must wear them as well. I just find it sort of hypocritical that everyone on the show must wear helmets while cycling, but the adults don't wear life jackets, despite in other countries being required by law. (Even more so since Nickelodeon has their consultants on this show now. Come on now, Nick!) They all growl and it's time to go; and Granny Pig doesn't know how to start the boat. (A note: the cosplaying Grannies uses their shields as decoration to accent the boat as a viking boat.)

I just love how everyone thinks that the men on this show are stupid and yet, moments like this show how bigoted the premise is. If men "are" getting embarrassed, then Granny Pig would be able to start the boat without a problem. (That's pushing it, former self. It wouldn't be embarrassing men either, but BS&P RULEZ~! That's the closest thing I could come up with and it's not even close.) This is also bad, because that means Granny Pig has to ring up Grandpa Pig on her cellphone and hope Grandpa Pig is so stupid that he doesn't notice that she is spiting him for making fun of her cosplaying. Her perfect plan has started to unravel now. She calls him as Grandpa Pig is in the living room by the phone, reading a newspaper. He answers it and tells her to push the lime green button to start it, and Granny Pig does just that, thanks Grandpa Pig and they both hang up. (Wow, that boat has been upgraded big time since the early series. Or maybe it's a case of SUZY SHEEP~?!) Three seconds later, Grandpa Pig gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and runs out of the house in a panic, because he just got screwed by Granny Pig. HAHA! I saw this coming a mile away. (Grandpa Pig is our GEEK OF THE WEEK~! At least in theory.) Somehow, the picnic basket is written in by teleport as the Viking Ship of Grand Theft Boat sails away and the picnic basket is sitting at the river. (We need a Norse mythology Grand Theft Auto game from Rockstar Games. Too bad Grand Theft Auto 6 is taking up most of Take 2's resources.) If you cannot guess the final scene now, you have no business reading this rant. Made even more obvious by the fact that Grandpa Pig runs in and forgets the picnic basket completely, because Granny Pig committed Grand Theft Boat. Okay, maybe not. (I'm guessing that the boat is joint property, so probably not Grand Theft Boat.) Thankfully, Granddad Dog's tugboat is there with Granddad Dog mopping the floor. Grandpa Pig orders Granddad Dog to follow the boat. Granddad Dog just agrees to it and pulls the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and the chase is on BABEE~! (Wait, Grandpa Pig's boat is modernized, but Granddad Dog's isn't?! SUZY SHEEP~?! Yup, the feud of Granddad Dog and Grandpa Pig is over.)

The viking ship is sailing well as the cosplaying Vikings are invoking the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM, which is basically the exact same music with different lyrics as the song from Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom in the episode "Spies". After all this, I no longer feel sorry for Gigi Gazelle when Pedro stole the Bing Bong Song music for the Baked Bean Song. He's still an ugly American, cowboy wearing music thief, though. Oh, and they basically prove Grandpa Pig's point as they love a cup of tea at the end of this song. (The Grannies are the true GEEKS OF THE WEEK~!) The sea air is making everyone except the kids restless as everyone realizes that they forgot the picnic basket. (Ernie Ladd: The natives are getting restless.) Everyone literally forgot the picnic basket, except for the people who created this episode! (The narrator remembers, former self and it's not a creator.) The cosplaying Vikings then turned into literal Vikings looking for food, and they notice Miss Rabbit on a sand island running a cafe. (Job #1217!) The boat lands on the island and the Vikings are literally acting like raiding hordes as Miss Rabbit ducks into the store. Granny Pig then orders four teas, two juices, and six pieces of chocolate cake. See, Grandpa Pig was right all along and if you listen closely; you can barely hear Grandpa Pig yell: I AM SO SMART! I AM SO SMART! S-M-R-T...I mean, S-M-A-R-T~! Speaking of Grandpa Pig, he finds the island on a telescope in a panic and somehow Grandpa Pig is already on the left side of the island blowing off Granny Pig. I mention this because at the end of this episode, Granddad's boat is on the right side of the island. WHAT?! (SUZY SHEEP~?!) Granny Pig offers him cake and tea. Apparently, this bribe is enough for Grandpa Pig to accept. (All the grandparents present are now GEEKS OF THE WEEK~!) Everyone eats cake and drinks tea (including Granddad Dog) to end the episode at 4:30; as the Viking Song continues through the credits. Outside of one minor logic break; this episode was AWESOME. Grandpa Pig got his point proven here, what more could you want? **** 1/2 (90%). (By the way, this is the first of THREE episodes where the Grannies are doing their historic reinactments.)

Made Up Musical Instruments: Here is episodes #297 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the school house on the hill as cars park on the steep sides of the hills, as usual. All the kids jump out and run into school. Strangely, the makeup is all Series Four characters, no Edmond, no Richard. (Absent: The Zebra Twins as usual, The Panda Twins as usual, Richard Rabbit as usual, Edmond Elephant, Mandy Mouse (!!!), Molly Mole, Gerald Giraffe.) Gigi proclaims that they are playing musical instruments and all the kids go into the music, grab their instruments and get on stage showing them off. Like Rebecca loving carrots, Emily loves recorders. Gigi proclaims that they are MAKING musical instruments today and Peppa thinks this is stupid because they are children. Gigi points out that she is not expecting them to make a piano or a trumpet -- which is what Peppa is holding -- they will be making music from cardboard and other bibs and bobs. In other words, Nintendo Labo without the Switch. Which is hilarious since one of the projects for Nintendo Labo is a mini-piano. (Nintendo Labo was a thing that happened during the Nintendo Switch's run that didn't do as well as I had hoped. However, it was little things like this that got the system over and made it different from XBOX and PlayStation and even PC and Mobile. Nintendo was fully committed to making themselves belong in the industry and they succeeded!) Gigi asks what is the prinicples of making sound and the various answers are beat it with a stick, blow into it, or shake it. That was distressing. (Wow former self, you are in a foul mood today.) All the kids take various objects from the box Gigi was holding, like cups and balloons for instance and head to the tables to make musical instruments. 2:1 odds George instrument is shaped like a dinosaur. Danny doesn't want to work, he wants to bang on the box all day. Pedro is clueless as he bangs on a tissue box, which doesn't work as well as a box for a drum. Gigi puts rubber bands on the tissue box; and Pedro still bangs on it like a drum. This is same Pedro F'N Pony who knows what a guitar looks like and can play it, but he's clueless when a makeshift one is made. (Pedro Pony as usual decides to be the GEEK OF THE WEEK~! Still has a better clue than Sony Ponies. ) Gigi literally has to tell him to pluck the rubber bands. (Pedro calls the guitar a twanger, which is slang for a stringed instrument.)

Suzy and Gigi are demonstrating tapping a pencil to bottles filled with different amounts of water. Gigi also demonstrates that blowing on the tops of the bottles gets similar results. George tries to blow into a red bucket, no go. Gigi fills the bucket with water and George uses a straw to blow into said bucket and make sound effects. That's fine since a lot of music has sound effects. At least it's not the wolf whistle, that would have been bad. (Unless Wendy Wolf is whistling, then it's all right because she's an anthromorphic wolf.) How fitting that Peppa and Danny are the only two kids who managed to make their instruments themselves, as Peppa fills her cups with beans and marbles. Gigi is impressed as Freddy is #3 as he basically lets the air out of a balloon for the annoying sound effects. (The dreaded extended fart sound. I do mean "extended" in a long and literal way.) This is the same kid who loves police and ambulance sirens, so there you go. (The fact that Freddy Fox gives out a hearty laugh indicates that he knows this is extremely naughty of him to do this sound.) Peppa asks what her musical instrument and by the magic of teleportation, there is a table set up on stage with various size drinking glasses. The kids asks if she blows them, bang them or shake them. The answer is neither as she dips her hands in the water and rubs the rims to create sounds. (Which is music from the opening theme song.) In comes the parents and everyone is on stage because the finish is almost the same as Recorders: The parents sit down to listen to the kids play makeshift musical instruments on stage. Whatever. (Yeah, this finish should have been different. By the way, Doctor Pony and Mummy Pony show up. Why?! Why not?!) Oh, and Gigi was playing the Peppa Pig opening theme song, the only non-public domain music they can ever play that is over. (Actually she did play the theme song solo, but the one involving her and playgroup together is actually the Muddy Puddles song!) Gigi is the one to break the ice -- so to speak -- and the kids follow her lead about ten second afterwards. It was all right, but it's the same finish they used in Recorders, only the parents have to listen to this only once this time around. Everyone laughs because Freddy let the air out of the balloon and it flies away as they are easily amused to end the episode at 4:30. The episode itself was fine, but couldn't they come up with a different finish?! By the way, it's clear that this was only one episode and not a two parter. (Yeah, someone misdirected all of us. This was fun until the repeat finish, so *** 1/4 (65%).)

In The Future: Next up is episode #298 on the animation paper as the episode opens at Suzy's residence AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark). We zoom into the kitchen with Suzy Sheep wearing a red/white striped sailor theme shirt while Peppa is wearing just purple. Mummy Pig and Mummy Sheep are going out in pumps and non-matching colored purses tonight. Suzy hugs Peppa and insists that they can take care of the house themselves. And with that grin, would anyone not believe her? Well, Mummy Sheep doesn't because she rang in the babysitter and the door bell rings. The door opens and in comes a sheep with blue color around her eyes, yellow dress and black shoes as Suzy notices her right away and they hug. Suzy Sheep addresses her as her cousin Charlotte Sheep. This blew my mind because Suzy Sheep debuted on this show in Series 1, Episode 3; Mummy Sheep debuted in Series 1, Episode 5, and that was the last member of the Sheep family until this very character in Series 6, Episode 34. It's a long, long, long time; like literally 16 years. Peppa and Suzy would be 20 years old if they were aged in real time. Younger than Kit and Molly aged in real time, but still. Charlotte Sheep is voiced by Mandeep Dhillon. According to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Mandeep Dhillon is a British actress who has appeared in Some Dogs Bite (2010), Tears of Kali (2004), and the BBC Three comedy TV series Some Girls and Fried. She is also known for her appearances in the British romantic comedy Finding Fatimah in 2017, and as Constable Lizbyet Corwi in The City and the City in 2018. In March 2019, she appeared as Sandy in Ricky Gervais's Netflix Original dark-comedy After Life. Mandeep Dhillon attended Wilbury Primary School and Fearnhill School, Letchworth.[1] Her first television appearance was in Some Dogs Bite (2010),[2] and she made her film debut in Tears of Kali (2004). She starred as the character Saz Kaur in Some Girls, which aired on BBC Three.

Mandeep went on to appear as a guest character in 7 episodes of the 2014 TV series 24: Live Another Day, alongside Kiefer Sutherland, and in 2017 she appeared in the British romantic comedy film Finding Fatimah.[3] Dhillon played the main character Constable Lizbyet Corwi in of the four part BBC Drama The City and the City in 2018, alongside David Morrissey who played her police partner, Inspector Tyador Borlú.[4] She began her career with Tears of Kali (Clerk at Teehouse) and She-Male Trouble: Ugly in 2004. She also appeared on Doctor Who in a cameo role. Red Dwarf as Cat Cleric is her most recent credit. She has 40 Acting credits, 4 Self credits and 1 Archive Footage credit to her resume. Mummy Sheep tells Charlotte that she can watch television and have pizza before the two Mummies leave. (I'm not referring to Penny Polar Bear's mummies, honest!) Charlotte is 17 years old and thus can do whatever she wants as long as she works. The kids are intrigued because this sounds like fun to them, little do they know. (Considering the Peppa Pig World, I would not be so hasty former self.) The kids want to stay up late, but Charlotte cuts that off since it's bedtime and the kids go into their room and jump into Suzy's bed. (It's 8 PM when they go into Suzy's room. It took one hour in Peppa Pig time to do this.) Charlotte tucks them in, turns off the lights, and leaves closing the door. Suzy and Peppa pretend to sleep and then gives kind stink eyes to each other, because it is time to screw the babysitter, which is always hilarious when the sitter is a babyface. (Kit Cloudkicker, everyone. Molly's burials of Kit will never fail to make me laugh.) However, we get the DREAM SEQUENCE OF DOOM featuring Peppa and Suzy as 17 year olds and outside of the eye lashes, they look no different to Mummy Pig nor Mummy Sheep. More dream sequences and loving being grown up ensues as they get into an argument about what their box roofless car's color would be.The two giggle for a while and then we have the first two person driving car, like it's an airplane. I was begging for this car to split into two and them driving in different directions, but it sadly doesn't happen. Then they start fantasizing about their class mates. Danny Dog is a spaceman who is wearing his suit on Earth -- so in the future in this storyline -- there will be no oxygen on Earth. Somehow, this might be true.

Of course, George will work cosplaying a dinesaur (sic) because no one truly grows up in this world. What a shocker?! (Sadly, the real world has lots of example of Peppa Pig's World.) Freddy Fox gets more time than anyone because he's a police officer and he talks like a British police officer who checks on car horns. Yeah, whatever. (Freddy Fox's police work sounds a little sus to me.) Suzy claims that she'll be a nurse while moonlighting as a pilot. (The dream sequence has cameos of Daddy Cat and Daddy Wolf.) Hmmmm; maybe Kit and Molly will be pilots while moonlighting as stunt bears. Unlike Peppa and Suzy, Kit and Molly growing up is officially canon in the Disney world. Peppa's future involves doing important work on her computer.... BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh boy! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is so on brand we me that it isn't funny. I'll leave the moment as an exercise to the reader. Hint: It involves a computer game. (Okay, I think this is the last appearance of Happy Mrs. Chicken until I find out I'm wrong. As usual.) We then zoom out as Peppa leaves in a castle like house with fountains and a swing which Peppa swings Suzy on. She really thinks way too small. Peppa then claims that he'll marry Pedro F'N Pony. Yeah, because he's the clueless one who would do anything Peppa says and not notice that he's being used. Or Danny, who is the plucky guy who never wins at anything (except in episode #295 and even that was a draw.), and it makes Peppa look good when she fails. We get another fantasy sequence of all the kids at 17 at a rainbow staircase, as their children run in and they are all smaller than the toddlers ever were. Probably to make it easier to animate than anything else. And then once they get to the taking care of the children part, they breathe a sigh of relief that this is just a dream sequence and not reality....yet. (Peppa and Suzy bury themselves in children. That was funny and so ironic in hindsight.) We head outside as Mummy Pig and Mummy Sheep arrive at the house, out comes Charlotte and says that everything is fine. She's almost right in fact. The two Mummies enter the bedroom and the kids are still awake. Charlotte almost had it, she almost had it better than Grandpa Pig and Granny Pig; but no pizza for her sadly. (It's also 9 PM, so this babysitting job was literally two hours long.) They exchange notes on what the kids were talking about the future. Strangely, this is the one time they didn't say it like "In Future", which is what Mummy Pig said when Daddy Pig broke her tea cup. The kids admit that they need rest. Muimmy Sheep tucks them in and leaves as we zoom out of the house with the narrator saying it all to end the episode at 4:30. I have a bad feeling that the Peppa/Pedro marriage will happen and all minds will explode. Pretty fun episode while it lasted, but the kids never got the best of Charlotte Sheep here, so *** 1/4 (65%).

Doctor Hamster's Big Present: Here is episode #299 on the animation paper as we head to the vet on the hill as Daddy Pig's car arrives with Mummy Pig, Peppa and George getting out and going in because it's time for Goldie the goldfish's checkup. I'm almost ready to pre-judge and say that I expect Tittles the Tortoise to climb up a tree again, because Doctor Hamster is clueless when it comes to turtles. (Sadly, that didn't happen and what they did here was far worse.) The three go inside and in a shock, we meet Grampy Rabbit with his fish tank containing an orange newt named Nigel. Which has a plant which looks similar to the Belly Bombs from Teddy Ruxpin. Nigel also squeak like Rebecca Rabbit as the animals all meet and greet. And I'm not lying by omission here. Jump cut to outside Doctor Hamster's door as Doctor Hamster is talking to Constable Gray Squirrel and her blue canary. All the bird needs is rest in order to be able to sing like one, hence my theory on the bird type. Gray Squirrel leaves and thankfully, there are no lamp posts within 50 kms of this place, or Doctor Hamster might really have trouble, because Gray Squirrel has no concept of the rule "POST NO BILLS"! (Ooooo, that was the FUCK THE POLICE sick burn in a nice way by former self. I wish that actually happened in this episode as it would have taken some of the edge off of what is to come.) Nigel is next and the fish tank is put on a table, and Doctor Hamster doesn't even need three seconds to determine that Nigel is fine and getting exercise. Doctor Hamster then admits that she is worried about her health and wants something to get more exercise with. If you cannot guess what it is; then you don't understand stereotypes and need to grow up. Grampy Rabbit suggests jogging and also to do it in the office. (So far, this was perfectly acceptable. There was nothing wrong with this outside of the noise, but I can accept this idea. It's at the end of this that pissed former self off.) Doctor Hamster likes it and starts jogging on the spot and then jog around while Grampy Rabbit leaves. In comes the Pig family with Goldie as Doctor Hamter still jogs around and even Peppa thinks this is silly. Doctor Hamster finally stops to catch her breath and seems to be slipping according to her. (If only she wasn't slipping on Tortoises 101. Hint: They do climb trees! I think she meant stepping, I should note.) Goldie's fine and needs to drink lots of water, even though it's a fish in a bowl filled with water. Her medical expertise is slipping; maybe she needs a remedial course instead of jogging. Although she can study while jogging; that would be fine. The Pig family says goodbye and leaves as we jump cut to the boring road with Mummy Pig driving the car west with Peppa and George in the backseat; along with Goldie.

Then we see Grampy Rabbit jogging with Nigel, and Nigel looks beyond nervous here. Mummy asks if Grampy wants a lift and Grampy no sells because he's keeping healthy and fit. I'm more worried about Nigel's mental state while he's jogging. (So far, this episode has been a fine episode with really nothing offensive in it. Doctor Hamster getting fit is silly, but at least it's within the bounds of good taste. Sadly, this is slowly going to come to an end.) Anyhow; Mummy Pig points out the flaw in Doctor Hamster's plan to get fit and Grampy Rabbit has a plan of his own and we head to Grampy Rabbit's boatyard...and yes, Grampy Rabbit jogged all the way there and still outran Mummy Pig's car. This guy is awesome. (The best part of the episode right there everyone. It's all downhill from here and the episode is about fall off a cliff in a vicious, violent way.) He brings out pieces of junk, Mummy Pig calls it rubbish and this gravely offends Grampy Rabbit. (Okay, I'm going to be fair here: The rating still stands, but if I was watching this cold without any spoilers whatsoever, Grampy making a present for Doctor Hamster is perfectly acceptable on it's own.) Grampy uses the wooden hammer to bend the ladders into shape and doing shop work on this new invention as Peppa stands there and guessing various objects, which she is wrong, although her guess was the closest to the right answer. (She guessed roundabout.) Of course, George thinks it's a dinesaur, because of course! It's not, according to Grampy. He then wraps up the present and rolls it onto it's side. Sadly, it won't fit in the car, so they have to roll it; which is basically, work it. We head back to Doctor Hamsters vet which the narrator called it a surgery. Granted, vets do offer that option, but I'm sure it isn't the only option she has. Oh, and everyone literally walked to the vet. Yes, even the writers have embarrassed themselves so much to not have someone outrun a motor vehicle. Too bad, since the joke hasn't worn out it's welcome. They enter the office as Doctor Hamster is shown the gift and she opens to reveal....a hamster wheel. Yes, a hamster wheel, which Grampy Rabbit created for her to jog in. (Wildcat Puma just frowned after that one.) Grampy Rabbit just buried Doctor Hamster right there, folks. Grampy drills it into the wall, Doctor Hamster just accepts it and runs on the wheel, loving this. I shake my head, you just rendered her into a big stereotype and nothing more. The narrator then even buries her further just to seal her fate at 4:30. A complete burial of Doctor Hamster, and they were better off just letting Tittles climb a tree again. * 1/2 (30%).

Butterflies: Here is episode #300 on the animation paper and episode opens at the school house on the hill. (THIS IS SPARTA~!) We zoom into the room with Gigi Gazelle and the kids. (Absent: The Zebra Twins, The Panda Twins, Mandy Mouse (!!!), Gerald Giraffe.) Also on scene, poor Doctor Hamster, literally ONE EPISODE removed from her total burial at the hands of Grampy Rabbit and Grampy Rabbit returns in the next rant! OUCH! (Can you not bury this poor vet any further, show?!) Hamster greets everyone and the kids all greet back. Hamster has a cage under a covering and wants the kids to guess who it is and Peppa calls it a whale like the troll that she is. She's wrong of course as Suzy calls it an ant, which is bigger than an ant. Pedro Pony -- clueless wonder extraordianire -- calls it a "Big Ant". Now, YTV Treehouse did promos for this one and you would never know that Pedro's answer was more accurate than Suzy's nor Peppa's unless you watch the entire episode. Joke is on all of us, thanks a lot YTV! (Fans of this show are the GEEK OF THE WEEK~! Which means me as well, former or present.) He's still wrong though. Doctor Hamster brings out the glass cage containing a caterpillar. Three of them in purple, green and red colors. The red one is prickly and oops; forgot the fourth blue one on the top right. Sorry about that. The green one is supposed to have stripes; but the lack of shading makes it look like a solid color; although Hamster does cover that somewhat by saying that the color allows it to hide in the grass. Molly Mole wants to stroke the red one, but Hamster says no because it might give you an itch. Doctor Hamster is right here: we all know it'll be at least a week before it goes away. The purple caterpillar eats leaves for a leave while Doctor Hamster cuts a promo on caterpillers, the typical educational lines since this is the point of the episode. The purple caterpillar burps on cue and the kids all giggle. Next up is the kids all coloring pages of caterpillars at the tables. (Richard Rabbit -- the one the creators don't like it seems -- is written out by teleport. SUZY SHEEP~?!) Zoe Zebra loves stripes, Rebecca thinks orange is a good color for a caterpillar. That might have been the actual one Hamster didn't want Molly to stroke, since a Google search indicates this is the one that causes irratation. (It's probably accurate, but this Peppa Pig's world, so maybe true. Edmond's coloring is ultra-weird and Edmond doesn't bother to follow up on it which makes it even more odd.) Hamster brings out a stick containing a green chrysalis which one of the students mistakes for a leaf.

Peppa asks if it's like a bed for the caterpillar to sleep in, Hamster points out that it's almost like that. The difference is, when Peppa wakes up in the morning, she's still Peppa Pig. Oh, and they used a flashback sequence to force the point. (Basically, Peppa Pig wakes up in the morning in her bed.) Hamster tells them to guess what will come out, and somehow Pedro F'N Pony's answer is the most reasonable answer of them all. One thought: If you need to make others look extremely stupid to make someone not stupid, that's not good character development. If you want a character to stop being stupid, just have him stop being stupid. Don't make them smarter at the expense of the other characters, unless you want them to make them dumber by design. (This is what Flanderization curtails. Thankfully, this was a one off as you'll see later.) The chrysalis hatches into a butterfly and George just has to call it a dinesaur. This is like Molly Cunningham calling the Yenkara, a baby buffalo. (Except she did it once and only McKnee knew what it was before Molly said the line. Plus, funnier than George's version of it.) Next up is coloring paper butterfly wings which somehow are brought in via teleport. And it's now time...TO DO THAT DANCE~! Well, it's supposed to be the butterfly dance; but it has to start with caterpillar dance because SCIENCE~! The kids wiggle on their bellies on the ground, and I am so sad Amelie Bea Smith never got to sing here. I guess it only applies to wiggly worms. Pedro's fantasy of being super continues as Hamster tells them to stop and go to sleep; because they are in chrysalis state now. The kids all sell as Gigi and Hamster puts the colored wings on the kids as the climax towards the main event continues to be into it's slow build. Well, as slow as the pacing is in Peppa Pig anyway. The teachers all tell the kids to wake up and open your wings. Everyone wakes up and jumps and down with glee as they are loving being butterflies. All except one. Come on, guess who it is; it's too shocking! Surprise! It's OKAY, BOOMER~! POW! OUCH! Ummm...Yup, Pedro F'N Pony is back to being clueless and sleepy again. As usual. We all knew this wouldn't last. (Yes, Richard Rabbit only appeared at the beginning and never again after the first segment of this episode.) Gigi wakes him up and Pedro's glasses go into chaos as Pedro is confused, as usual. Thankfully he gets up and joins in as we get the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM, and very little dancing. That was disappointing, I wanted to see them dance, not hear them sing. The song ends and as the narrator finishes his spiel. Butterflies fly inside the school as the kids all giggle to end the episode at 4:30. A fun episode with some educational value and not much more. *** 1/2 (70%). I would have added 1/2* if they did a much better dance near the end than what they did here. (Poor Richard, no one loves him.)

Opening Moment #1: The Winter theme opening is used here.

Grampy Rabbit's Jet Pack: The next episode is episode #301 on the animation paper as we open the episode in a snowy forest area with the entire Pig family wearing winter clothes. So far, this is the most original opening to a Peppa Pig episode in this entire rant. (By the way, the narrator says that it's a lovely snowy day, despite the sun being out just barely on camera.) They are on a winter walk as we hear banging noise and they are coming from Grampy Rabbit's boatyard. Yeah, the guy who jumped the shark in an earlier rant because he buried Doctor Hamster deep within the earth. (Although Doctor Hamster was getting buried a bit before that, but still...) and he's got another episode. This better be good; or I will scream. (This episode was Grampy's redeempation attempt. Let's see how the writers handle this one.) We meet and greet at the boat yard as Grampy Rabbit seemly cannot decide between a sledge or a jetpack. (A sledge is British for a sled.) Wow, he has lost credibility with me there. It's obvious you build the jetpack; because Grampy Rabbit is supposed to be nuts. (Grampy Rabbit having weightlifting issues, if you know what I mean.) Of course, instead of a sledge, he builts a jetpack. Yup, Grampy Rabbit got all of his heat back and then some, bonus points for it looking kind of unstable. (That didn't take long and I love it! The jetpack is slammed down and it's already broken. I love Grampy Rabbit, he's more legendary than Miss Rabbit now and Series Seven hasn't started yet!) Daddy Pig thinks this is tough, but Grampy Rabbit says no on that, because he is this show's version of WildCat, only much older. (Probably the only time you hear someone speak Science and not get refuted with the words "It's magic!" No one trolls Grampy Rabbit, he's too awesome to be touched in that matter.) Grampy Rabbit wants to test the jetpack and does the safety check -- which involves his cheese sandwich -- which Daddy Pig has to hold. (Also, funny.)Grampy assures that the cheese sandwich is safe, but Daddy is more worried about the jetpack being safe. Grampy claims that it is, I'm not buying it since he built it himself. Because Grampy Rabbit is...you guessed it. (The cheese sandwich is safer, I should note.) He's now fantasizing this sky trip and even singing about it. Daddy cuts him off and asks how it works. Grampy Rabbit proclaims that he presses the red button on the front of his chest, which is a dangerous moment if I could ever see on. He pushes it with both hands and rockets into the sky as Muimmy proclaims that it worked. I don't know why, but that was funny. (It's Grampy Rabbit and Mummy Pig's blassie response made it even more so.) Grampy Rabbit is launched high into the air and where he lands, do we really care?! Ummmmmm...nope. For that matter, neither does Grampy Rabbit as he is having the time of his life, shouting in the wind like a maniac. (It's always funnier when I say that line and the character who is doing it somehow cares even less then the viewer watching it. I howled with laughter.)

Peppa can somehow see him as Grampy actually flies great and then nosedives into a mountain and crashes. Grampy's legs are wiggling, so he's still alive and kicking. That proves that he's nuts. Peppa is worried about Grampy Rabbit and Mummy Pig brings out the cell phone. (By the way, the mountain is actually called Snowy Mountain. Tintin's white dog got a cameo, sort of.) Mummy Pig phones Grampy Rabbit and Grampy pops out of the snowy carnage and answers the phone. Yup, he's fine...and he's still nuts. Sadly, his jetpack is broken. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! That was a perfectly nutty invention he made! (You're not wrong, but former self is the GEEK OF THE WEEK~!) He's stuck and you know what that means: ring in Miss Rabbit's Rescue Service. Of course! We head to the sky with Miss Rabbit in her helicopter as her cell phone rings. She arrives at the docks and the entire family climbs up into Miss Rabbit's helicopter and then Miss Rabbit asks where is Grampy Rabbit?! You couldn't just tell her that on the phone?! As you will see, this decision is going to cost them big time as the helicopter arrives at the snowy mountain with Grampy Rabbit regretting not making a sledge. (The rescue service is also the GEEKS OF THE WEEK~!) A rope is lowered from the helicopter and Grampy ties it around his waist and then the helicopter runs out of fuel and is forced to land on the snowy mountain. See, when all the pigs were in the helicopter, the helicopter was literally guzzling fuel. I mean, it's so obvious! What a bunch of idiots?! (Even when they don't body shame, they find a way to body shame. At least it was only once this time, instead of like five times in a Series pre-Series Four!) Then Grampy sits onto the jetpack and because he's tied to the helicopter, somehow the jetpack starts sliding down the hill with the helicopter following it stage left. Yes; Grampy Rabbit just rescued everyone and doesn't even know it. They go through the forest, through town as everyone in town has to dodge to the sidewalks, through the sea, which somehow is frozen solid and back to Grampy's boatyard. (Cameos: Mummy Pony, Doctor Pony, Mummy Fox, Mr. Fox, Mr. Labo, Mummy Elephant, Emily Elephant, Granddad Dog, Danny Dog, Gigi Gazelle, Mr. Rabbit, Richard Rabbit, Mrs. Cow, Mummy Zebra, Zoe Zebra, Candy Cat, Mummy Cat, Granny Wolf, Wendy Wolf, SUZY SHEEP~, Mummy Sheep and three seagulls.) He also bumps the boathouse in the process as Miss Rabbit thanks Grampy for rescuing them. Somehow. Grampy realizes that this jetpack doubles as a sledge and everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. Grampy is back in mid-season form with a great episode. **** 1/2 (90%).

Detective Potato: Here is episode #302 on the animation paper as we head to the little house on the hill with clown horns blaring, which is the signal for Mr. Potato to make his return to television after he bought the crappiest car in existence and it turned on him. We zoom into the living room as Daddy Pig is reading a book; and wouldn't you know it, it's basically about the wonders of concrete. You would think after Simple Science and Parking Ticket, that maybe his love for an inanimate object is becoming a danger to him; but I guess not. (At least loving a plastic box is less dangerous than concrete. Pathetic? Yes. Dangerous? No, unless you are a doctor.) Speaking of Dectective Potato on the tele with Peppa and George -- once again -- the mysteries are too simple and Dectective Potato is even dumber now than he was when he first started. Miss Carrot lost her bicycle and Detective Potato thinks it's the blue bicycle; but it's not. It turns out to be the red bicycle as they were teasing the yellow biycle the entire time. Of course! Miss Carrot hugs Mr. Potato as Daddy Pig claims that he is great at solving mysteries. Yeah, I'll bet! Peppa calls him the best detective in the world. Even though in storyline, he is probably the only legit detective in the world, and he sucks. Oh lord, he sucks at being a detective. Daddy Pig turns off the tele as it's time to go to the shopping center and allows Peppa and George to come along. We head to the boring road to the west as we discover that Daddy is going to the shopping center to buy a bag of gravel, in order to try a new mix of concrete. HAHA! Of course! This sadist just never gives up on this. We head to the shopping center and it's like the major shopping center in Halifax, so of course it takes four floors at least before they find a parking space and it's Peppa of all people finding it. (A major upgrade from The Perfect Day, that is for sure. The windows are translusent again, so it's hard to tell who is there on the far shot. I can clearly see Mrs. Corgi, Mummy Zebra, Granny Wolf, Not Daddy Cat, Mr. Rhino and maybe Mummy Cat.) It's at the A3 -> F4 and of course, the guise is that you must remember where you parked your cars. Of course; they will forget in the end, because CONCRETE~! They take the lift and to waste time; Daddy Pig thinks it's between floor 3 and floor 6 where the shops are, but pushes button 5 because the shops logo is clearly on there. The elevator goes up to floor #5 and they walk in the hallway to the Concrete Shop. (Cameos: Doctor Pony, Molly Mole, Mrs. Cow and her kid.) Guess who is running the shop? Take a guess, it's too shocking! SURPRISE! IT'S OKAY BOOMER~! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...Yes, Miss Fucking Rabbit~! (Job #IRONY~!) The same Miss Rabbit who gave a parking ticket to Daddy Pig while he went to a concrete shop. These characters are cursed! Oh, and bags of gravel are very heavy and despite being bigger than adult Kit Cloudkicker, he still has trouble carrying it. (Bears are strong and surprisely agile for anthros of their size.)

The Pig family leaves and Miss Rabbit without any hint of irony says she keeps losing her car in that parking lot. This is the same Miss Rabbit who works at a hundred jobs in this show, how can she afford to lose her car. I betcha she runs, animals running are faster than cars anyway in this show. (Oooo, sick burn on everyone on this show. Anyhow. Rohan Rhino makes a cameo outside along with Mummy Mole.) We head to inside the lift and they have already forgotten where they parked the car. It's on Floor 4, Area 3 (A3 -> F4 as shown on the signs) if you want the solution to this problem. They pick floor 6 and yes, there is a parking lot ON TOP of the shops. The car is lost of course, so they go back into the lift and Peppa thinks this is fun. If I was booking this, the longer this goes, the more red Daddy Pig blushes until they find the car. That would have been money. Peppa pushes a button and it's the floor of I don't know. (It's actually the correct floor. Peppa got it right the first time. Daddy Pig is the GEEK OF THE WEEK~!) They don't find the car, but they do find Officer Gray Squirrel and Officer Panda. Yes; all of the prinicples from "Parking Ticket" are here, outside of Mummy Pig. Peppa of course, claims that the car is lost and Daddy Pig awkwardly claims that it's not. Officer Panda believes Peppa's story of course as we pan up to the full extent of the parking lot to kill time. Officer Panda brings out the notepad and we do the address check as Daddy Pig wants to find the car. Officer Gray Squirrel proclaims that they do not solve mysteries in a flash like on television. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is Peppa Pig and we have only 45 seconds left in this episode! Of course they will find the car in a flash. Clown horns blare and in comes Mr. Potato in his red crappy car. Even better, he remembered to remove the glass dome! AWESOME! Someone on this show has learned their lesson! Potato jumps out and has the maginfying lens of doom on full blast as the police blow him off because they are on the case, you see. Mr. Potato don't care and finds the officer's police car. HA! Sadly, it is not Daddy Pig's car. Second attempt fails, but the third one is successful. HAHA! That literally took thirty seconds to find and made the police look bad, because Peppa picked the right floor all along, they just didn't walk long enough westward. (Sadly, it's D4, A3 now. SUZY SHEEP~?!) Yes, Mr. Potato has won, despite having a 1/3 chance of success. Idiots! The Pig family jumps into the car as the officers are not amused. Mr. Potato proclaims that it is all in a day's work for a potato to end the episode at 4:30. I'm subtracting a 1/4* from this because Panda did not bump into a magical lamp post and Gray Squirrel couldn't ticket it. Sad! *** 1/4 (65%).

The Electric Car: We finish this rant series up with episode #303 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the little house on the hill. Zoom into Peppa's bedroom as Peppa is playing with Teddy and George is playing with a toy car that works on batteries. The car not only rides by itself, it sings a song...and then the car dies. Peppa -- the troll that she is -- declares the car broken. George looks into the hard camera and bawls his eyes out as Mummy Pig comes in asking what is the matter. George shows the car and Mummy Pig notices the batteries are dead and replaces them. Apparently, the new batteries are defective because the car doesn't sing anymore. (That was weird. Maybe it has a singless button on it.) The kids don't care as a car horn blares out and everyone runs out as Daddy Pig arrives in a cyan blue car and Peppa -- the troll that she is -- acts like it's not Daddy Pig driving the car before catching herself. (Okay, that was funny.) Daddy Pig gets out and explains the brand new funny car called an electric car, which runs on batteries instead of petro. George is still impressed anyway, despite problems with his toy car earlier. Everyone gets into the car for the TEST DRIVE OF DOOM, but the car dies. (I should note that Daddy Pig has not bought the car yet, he's merely testing it. I guess this is Daddy Pig's second job in this show.) George does not bawl on cue this time. (I realize that this is character development, but there are times when George mourning dead objects does make me laugh.) Daddy Pig proclaims that it doesn't need a new battery, but a recharge as he takes out a long, giant cord and plugs it into the kitchen. Oh, and it recharges in ten seconds flat to the kids' amusement. Switch takes four hours to fully recharge, so I call bullshit on this. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) I should note that it looks nothing like George's toy car, as it has orange tyres and yellow rims while George's toy car is dark blue. (I'm guessing it was done to make it stand out more.) Daddy Pig gets back in and we go to the boring road, as this is no different from every drive from the series. Peppa comments on how quiet it is and Daddy Pig states that they are quiet until they start talking...and then suddenly, the electric car goes into Dora The Explorer mode and addresses itself as Roger. To the show's credit, Peppa acts like this has happened before since she did interact with the Camper Van in Series Three.

Basically, this electric car is also a driver less car according to Roger and Roger demonstrates this as they go through some hills. (Roger claims to be an expert in this and I can believe that more than when Daddy Pig says it. Sadly, this episode has not aged well considering the recent hate over AI.) No one can stop this insane car...Except for Officer Panda and Officer Gray Squrriel of course. UH-OH! Daddy Pig is about to become a criminal...AGAIN! (Roger is in blank stare mode, an indication that he knows he's guilty of some crime we don't know of yet.) The officers notice that Daddy Pig is not using the steering wheel and Daddy Pig claims that he is not driving the car. Which in storyline is true. Officer Panda claims Daddy Pig is driving the car and we get the "other children on the playground" level arguing which these two should have outgrown by the age of five. Okay, if there is some law against driverless cars in this show, I would be on the officers side here. Otherwise; the police can go pound sand. Panda decides to talk to the car and of course Roger speaks as Peppa claims that it is very nice. I would be sus about that line there, knowing Peppa the last six seasons. (Oh, just wait until Please & Thank You, which is the next rant actually.) Officer Panda points out that the car itself must have a drivers license to drive the car by itself. And Roger's arm shows off his license and this show has now jumped the shark. (Nah, when Daddy Pig literally jumps a shark, then this show has jumped the shark. This was probably the moment Daddy Pig said "nope" and we will never see Roger ever again. ) I knew this was coming, but darn, it took so long. The officers are fine with this and let Roger go drive away stage right. Next up, George demonstrates the singing car -- which didn't sing after the batteries were replaced -- and Roger demonstrates his singing skills and they are no worse than Peppa's. We sing and drive until it's AFTER HAPPY HOUR. Then Daddy asks where they are as they go up the hill to the little house on the hill. Roger also remembers to park on the steepest side of the hill, just to complete the shark jumping. Everyone gets out as the family except Peppa head into the house. Peppa asks if Roger will be all right in the night and Roger says yes. (At least the closeup shows Roger on a flat surface.) Peppa heads into the house to end the episode at 4:30. I did like this episode, however; I'm taking a running bet that we'll never see Roger again after this. *** 1/2 (70%). (Roger will never appear in another episode again.)

Stone Age Granny: This is episode #304 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the white house on the hill as the red car arrives to park on the steep side of the hill once again. I believe Mummy Pig is driving here as Peppa and George jump out and run right into the house. (It was Mummy Pig, former self.) They make it to the kitchen as Granny Pig is dressed up like CAPTAIN CAAAAVEEEEEMANNNNNNNNNNN~ complete with the greatest fake orange beard.mustache of all time. Peppa of course cannot tell it's Granny, so we shouldn't be too hard on henchmen falling for the worst disguises Baloo ever wears. (Granny's cave person disguise was far more convincing than Baloo's disguise on All Whale That Ends Whale.) The grandmothers are cosplaying The Flintstones this time, although Grandpa Pig cannot say that because TRADEMARK~! Peppa asks about the stone age and we HIT THE FLASHBACK...or Grandpa Pig's wet dreams. Either answer is acceptable with a sunset shot of the cave doods doing cave dood things while carrying spears, such as live in caves, eat berries and chase wooly mammoths, which are describes as big hairy elephants. Talk about de-mammothizing there, Granny. Oh, and Peppa likes this and she and George want to be cave doods; so Granny accepts and they get to wear the costumes, and take their shoes off off-screen. (Sadly, Grandma Pig doesn't have fake beards for the kids. Peppa wearing a beard is MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH~! George too, even. Grandpa Pig wearing it is opposite of money.) We head to the back of the house as Granny, Peppa and George walk out of the house and down the hill to see the other grandmothers Granny Wolf, Granny Dog, and Gigi Gazelle digging into the earth with their stone age clubs with hammers made of stone. (This would be Granny Dog's second appearance on television I should note. She sounds like Auntie Pig in the previous episode.) Or as I like to call it, the ancient version of HHH's SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT. (They are currently doing a massive beatdown on that hill, let me tell ya!) The grannies are digging up the garden to create a cave, and Peppa asks why don't they have buckets and spades (shovels). Of course, the answer is obvious since there are no such things as bucket and spades in the stone age. I'm guessing that this is the very old school version of the Stone Age, since the Neolitch era (New Stone Age) had shovels made with shoulder blades of animals, which gave the terms for spatula and spade. The lack of bucket use is totally accurate though. Grandpa Pig comes out with a tray of tea cups with tea and the grannies all take the teacups from the tray and drink tea. This prompts Peppa to ask the obvious question since there was no tea drinking nor teacups nor trays in the Stone Age.

Granny Pig's response: Not exactly.
Flashback: Not at all.
Reality: Cups could have existed in that era, albeit crude. Trays, no. Tea; no.

Grandpa Pig buries the cosplayers once again, what a surprise?! (Once again, the cosplaying Grannies are the GEEKS OF THE WEEK~!) Granny Pig then basically admits without outright saying that they couldn't and the other Grannies act like they cannot think for themselves. The Grannies have the hunger effect overcome them and they decide to pick the strawberries by eatung them from the garden. This prompts Grandpa Pig to run in panicking, as this is his strawberry garden. So, apparently, cave doods steal from gardens. Good to know. (This is clearly revenge for the Viking Day incident. Why does former self think this angle is stale?!) Next up; one of the grannies wants to chase a wooly mammoth and Grandpa Pig is totally fine with that. (Yup, now Grandpa Pig joins the GEEKS OF THE WEEK~!) However, we all know where this is going and it's...MUSIC BREAK~! Lasts about 35 seconds. I'm so sad the original creators didn't consider this, even for one episode. (Okay, having this to cover up copyright issues is hilarious and this was the first episode in airing order to do it. Sadly, it's 2024 and the episode is likely on the official Youtube Peppa Pig channel, so the video I'm using doesn't have it.) We return with Peppa invoking the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH at Grandpa Pig of course, because the grannies have to get their heat back against their enternal burying guy. (By the way: The Grannies are also wearing bushy fake eyebrows. Why?! Why not?!) Grandpa Pig finally agrees to it and walks on all fours stage right as we get the single most silliest wooly mammoth chase of all time. (Molly is going to do this to Kit one of these days, I swear to PZ Meyers, and it will be much, much funnier without fail.) I approve of this chase, especially when Peppa is taunting the mammoth during the whole thing. It ends with Grandpa Pig making it to the back of the house and the kids of course catch him first. (Because they are faster than senior citizens, former self. This so obvious it is not even funny.)

The grannies try to lift Grandpa Pig and they cannot get him off his feet. They didn't even try to get all four grannies to lift him off his feet; and just ask him to walk with them. (BS&P RULEZ~! Pre-Nick era would have had the Grannies drag Grandpa Pig away.) Grandpa stops selling and just walks stage left to the smallest cave in history, but as if was a cave dood. Everyone is at the tiny hole and the grannies have a problem. Granny decides to whip out her cell phone and call someone, DESPITE COSPLAYING AS CAVE DOODS~! WHAT?! (Granny Pig tries so hard to make the cellphone sound ancient by calling it a telephone. It fails in hideously hilarious fashion.) When Peppa Pig has more sense than you, it's time to pack it in. Also, guess who she calls?! Come on, guess; it's too shocking. It's OKAY, BOOMER~! POW! OUCH! Ummm...it's Mr. Bull on the boring road with his digger machine. Wait; so Mr. Bull's service is a private company?! (It could be a Crown Corporation like Canada Post, former self.) I don't know why you all punched me in the kisser, calling him boomer is surprisely accurate. Mr. Bull accepts this because he's bored, or something. Mr. Bull digs the dood cave for the cave doods. (Okay, that was witty, former self.) Peppa is questioning this and Granny eliminates the whole pre-tense that she has stopped caring about authenticity and is just wanting to get this episode over with. (Speaking of former self doing Peppa's mispronoucation gimmick...) Everyone walks in and we get a short session of painting the walls complete with them chasing the wooly mammoth. (They needed a jump cut to make this work, I should note.) Peppa drawing the ultimate troll picture of Granny Pig on her cellphone calling Mr. Bull and his digger. (Just like Peppa and the picture with Daddy Pig sitting on the couch watching television. Granny Pig took this one a lot better than Daddy Pig did.) Grandpa Pig: Exactly as it was in the Stone Age! Me: How Kit Cloudkicker of you, sir. (From A Bad Reflection On You, Part One.) Everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. That last one is believable at least. Fun episode, but the shelf life for this angle is getting old at this point. Not as old as the Stone Age, but maybe Iron Age stale. (Nah, this episode had it's charm and former self would be proven dead wrong literally in the next episode, so *** 1/2 (70%).)

Space Adventure!: Next up is episode #305 on the animation paper and episode opens at the white house on the hill as Mummy Pig parks her car on the steepest side of the hill...AGAIN! (Literally, they recycled the opening segment from the last episode!) Peppa and George hop out and here comes Grandpa Pig to hug them. It's been over 300 episodes and George is still keeping the slient "P" in "pig". Now, it just occured to me: He also calls him :Papa: and the "P" is not silent. Furthermore, is he implying that Daddy Pig is a found dad and Grandpa Pig really is George's biological son?! What a web we weave here and I fear this is going to happen in Ducktales 2020 too. (It did, but not with Kit Cloudkicker as Webby's father sadly. That would have been less creepy.) The car also turns around in a magical logic break and Mummy Pig waves farewell and drives down the hill. (Just like the last episode! Daddy Pig falling into a swimming pool on Italian holiday was much funnier.) Out comes Granny Pig in a spacesuit complete with radio voice over and George doesn't say "Ganny Ig" here. Peppa asks the obvious as Grandpa claims that she is playing another game with her Grandma buddies; so even Grandpa Pig thinks this angle is getting older than the Stone Age. And for goodness sakes, couldn't you do this angle in Series Seven or even near the end of Series Six instead of doing it after doing basically the same thing in the previous episode?! (I could blame the broadcasters for this one since these episodes are episodic in nature. Still, not exactly a good look for all involved.) Granny Pig blows it off because it's an historic reinactment of space people going to the moon. At least this time, it's 1960's booking instead of 2020 booking disguised as Stone Age booking. So, the amount of stupidity will be a bare minimum this time around. (Gorilla Monsoon: (giggling) You're serious aren't ya?!) The family walks down the hill together. Grandpa Pig still believes that this is an excuse for free tea and cake. At least it's believable this time unlike the last episode. (Considering Viking Day, Grandpa Pig is correct. This is the fourth time this show has done this angle.) Cut to Gigi and Grandma Dog cosplaying the role of system checks. (This is Granny Dog's third appearance on this show and yet there's no evidence of her relationship with Granddad Dog nor the Dog family for that matter. Granny Wolf is absent this time around, probably because the spaceship can only carry six people.)

Did I mention that there is a rocket ship in the back that looks like the one in The Golden Boots; only strudier. Nah; they wouldn't be this absurd to allow anyone to legit go to the moon for a second time, could they? I just love that Grampy Rabbit is lending them his rocket for the day and speaking of the EVIL ONE~! (I'll allow it this one time because this episode is going to be EVIL~, in a much better way actually.) The hatch opens and we see Grampy Rabbit being Grampy Rabbit. Granny answers Peppa Pig by claiming that they are pretending to go to the moon, because there's no way in hell that the writers are going to have them really go to the moon again. That would be totally unbelievable. (HEE HEE!) Basically the Grannies contend that the garden is the moon where they "hop on the moon, plant a flag and collect moon rocks". Grandpa Pig tells them to be careful about the rocks as he bails to get the tea and cake. (He calls the garden a rockery. (Rock garden, formally called rockwork.) Everyone gets into the rocket and Grampy closes the hatch. He begins the countdown as we cut back into the kitchen as Grandpa Pig continues to mock Granny Pig's cosplaying ideas while making tea. (To be fair, Granny Pig did the same taunt to Grandpa Pig about doing silly stuff that makes him happy in Series Five. Either someone complained or someone thought the other way was more amusing. Doesn't matter, it worked out a lot better in hindsight and this angle is about to get really absurd.) Grampy yells "lift-off" and the rocket lifts off into the sky as we cut back to Grandpa Pig complaining about the noise. The narrator...wait a second?! THE ROCKET LIFTED OFF INTO THE SKY?! WHAT THE HELL?! Yes, folks; the Grannies, Peppa and George are headed to the moon legit. If I see Miss Rabbit's gift shop on the moon again, I will sue the creators for emotional distress. Even Grampy Rabbit admits that this is real because fake moon landings are no fun at all. Did I mention how awesome Grampy Rabbit is?! Granny Pig figures, okay. The rocket lands on the moon as this would officially be Peppa and George's second time on the moon, and at least the third time Grampy Rabbit has been on the moon in some form. (When the spaceship lands on the moon, the background music is a remix version of the "Muddy Puddles" song, which was introduced in The Golden Boots, the movie that Peppa literally went to the moon!) Sadly, the episodes are all self-contained, so Peppa, George and Grampy Rabbit do not mention this.

Everyone comes out in space suits! Outside of the tails being exposed, this is so much better than the time when Peppa and George were literally wearing fish bowls on their heads. (Also, more important: No one walks barefoot on the moon this time!) Sadly, this was a video that doesn't contain a MUSIC BREAK~! (I'm keeping this even though the video footage doesn't do it anymore.) They do the moon hop of doom after getting out. Grampy Rabbit and Granny Pig do their version of the "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" even though Grampy has already been on the moon at least thrice, so the promo doesn't quite work out. (They were going to plant their own flag, so it made sense former self.) Peppa and George are loving life on the moon as we cut back to Grandpa Pig mocking the cosplayers as usual while preparing the tea. Grandpa Pig is concerned about the garden more than the fact that there are TWO FUCKING KIDS ON THE FUCKING MOON~! (To be fair, Grandpa Pig doesn't know the reinactment has turned into a shoot. Like Captains Outrageous from TaleSpin, only a lot less dangerous. At least here, no one is getting shot or blown up.) Back to Peppa, George and Granny doing their moon walk as we see the USA flag planted on the moon. Question: Is it still there for real? (Answer: Yes, although they often moved the flag in later missions in order to keep it upright. Similar to what you do when you do it on Earth.) George plants his straw flag on the moon surface as Peppa finds a neon green rock that is making weird sounds. Hmm; are you sure it's not a biohazard?! There are lots of moon rock that don't do this, so I don't think this rock is a good thing to take home with you. Grampy Rabbit asks about tea and so everyone gets into the rocket. They fly back home, so thankfully I don't have to sue the creators for emotional distress. (Granny Pig claims that they earned this tea and cake. You don't say?! I don't doubt you for a second!) Grandpa Pig is suffering from it as the house shakes again. Grandpa Pig is finished preparing the tea and cake and walks out in protest. The rocket lands and everyone gets out just as Grandpa Pig walks in and Grandpa Pig doesn't suspect a thing at all. Granny Pig tries to explain that she went to the moon. I mean, fuck, she has multiple witnesses and GRAMPY FUCKING RABBIT, a space person expert to back her story. (Wow, this is the most F-bombs on a review since Chargeman Ken.) Grandpa Pig doesn't believe her and he can sod off. Peppa gives Grandpa Pig a moon rock -- a piece of evidence -- and he still doesn't believe them as he puts the rock in the garden. When he dies of cancer, he'll be singing a different tune. (Which will still be more merciful than living with a god wannabe.) Everyone laughs for a while and then does the backsplash laugh as no cup shatters to end the episode at 4:30. This episode was much better than The Golden Boots because:

[A.] Everyone wore legit spacesuits and the rocket was much strudier.
[B.] NO FUCKING GIFT SHOP~! (No Miss Rabbit either, which is a bigger bonus.)
[C.] No adult got buried by 14 kid babyfaces at the end.

And of course, there is the most responsible space person in the world, Grampy Rabbit, who loves to keep it real! Also, this really makes Science Museum even funnier in hindsight as you'll see later. (This is how The Golden Boots should have gone down as an angle. This episode was even better on the second viewing, too. **** 1/2 (90%).)

THE REVIEW LINE

Doctor Hamster's Big Present was really bad and a complete and total burial of Doctor Hamster. As much as I don't like her cluelessness towards turtles, she was at least a character. And this episode also made me hate Grampy Rabbit after all the great things he did on this show in past episode, he stooped to a stereotype build and Doctor Hamster fell for it. Shameful! Viking Day was better on the second viewing, because Grandpa Pig is such an idiot who got the last laugh on those cosplaying Grandmas who claims that there's more to it than drinking tea and eating cake. Grampy Rabbit also delievered and made the super nutty comeback in Grampy Rabbit's Jetpack in a huge way, like literally within seconds after returning . Space Adventure! was a much better episode on the second viewing which is a vast improvement from The Golden Boots. The angle of cosplaying Grannies is really starting to get to me though, lucky for me Grampy Rabbit was in that episode too. I don't really need to explain it except no gift shop on the moon. So...

Thumbs up for Grampy Rabbit's Jet Pack, Space Adventure and Viking Day. Thumbs down for Doctor Hamster's Big Present. Thumbs in the middle for the rest and I'll see you all next time.

Back to Other Rants Index!
Return to the Rant Shack!
Return to the Unofficial Kit Cloudkicker Homepage