20 Years Of Muddy Puddles: Peppa Pig Series Six #5

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Twenty Years Of Muddy Puddles: Peppa Pig Series Six #5 Rant

Reviewed: 05/23/2020
Additional Review: 05/31/2020
Additional Commentary: 09/22/2024

Thank You For Pleasing Me, Show!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Okay, in this rant we will see Mummy Pig doing firefighting practice runs, Mr. Bull becomes a teacher, look for things, poems, ice cream with Mr. Labo, a science musuem, jukeboxes, windmills, sand castles, Mandy Mouse's birthday and the ultimate troll protest episode, please and thank you. Yeah! How do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Fire Station Practice: Next up is episode #306 on the animation paper and episode opens at the fire station on the hill as out comes Miss Rabbit, Mummy Pony, and Mummy Dog. The car arrives, parking on the steepest side of the hill...AGAIN! Out comes Mummy Pig and like the other Mummies in this episode; they are wearing their firefighter outfits. It's for training, you see. (2024 Gregory Weagle: The Mummies Fire Brigade also puts their firefighting helmets on in sequence.) Apparently, Daddy Pig also believes that the Mummies just drink tea and sit around. Sexist moron! Mummy Pig rightfully calls him out on it and I do too. (Then watch the Mummies enter the station and prove Daddy Pig right.) Mummy Pony's voice has clearly changed since the last time I have heard here, which I think was the episode where Pedro Pony stole the music of Gigi Gazelle's Bing Bong song and turned it into something about baked beans. (I don't know former self, it might be a pitch shift issue to avoid copyright. Although nowadays, it's a totally moot point.) Mummy Rabbit offers the kids to come on in so Daddy Pig might learn something. (Learn that he was right all along, former self?!) Everyone walks inside the station, we go upstairs to the control room. All the Mummies sit down and....have tea and cookies! (Oops! The Mummies are the GEEKS OF THE WEEK~!)

Daddy Pig: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh boy! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Told ya!

But, wait! It's just a setup on Mummy Rabbit's part because the tea increases their senses to get ready for an emergency. (By the way, they take their helmets on and put them back on. That was pointless.) Mummy Rabbit rings the bell and we do the first sequence of training as the Mummies all go down the fire pole, get into the fire truck and drive down the hill. Daddy Pig, Peppa and George follow them, thank goodness Freddy Fox isn't here; we'll never hear the end of his siren chants. Apparently "Ready, Steady, Go" is a three step process and the Steady step is steadying the hoses sequence. Mummy Pig has a wee bit of trouble steadying the hose, but does get it right and the target -- a sign with a fire symbol on it -- is down for the count. Everyone cheers and Daddy Pig gets inspired because he thinks this is easy. I betcha his hose will go so out of control that it will prove Daddy Pig is dumb. I check the video...no MUSIC BREAK~!...damn; I'm good. The heaviness of the hose was a dead giveaway. To be fair; Daddy Pig was not prepared at all and this was more Mummy Dog's fault than Daddy's. (Mummy Dog heard Mummy Rabbit's command to turn the water on when Mummy Rabbit wasn't supposed to say that.) She even apologizes for the gaffe. Mummy Rabbit talks about fitness being important (and it really is); so we have an obstacle course, which looks straight out of Red Zone Cuba in terms of low rent. It's GO time as we start with the inconvenient wall of doom which is a brick wall. Of course they climb over the wall and struggle getting Mummy Pig over. Needs more physical fitness. Then the confusion tube, which Mummy Pig is confused. Then the see-saw of considerable upsets. That is what Mummy Rabbit said. This causes upsets for Mummy Pig as the tippy, tricky tyres is actually when she starts making her comeback. She climbs up the slopy rope wall and then the other Mummies are across the yippy zip wire which is over a giant muddy puddle. If you cannot guess the final spot now, you have no business reading this rant. (Also, all the names for the obstacles were not me being a smugass ranter. This was all said by Mummy Rabbit herself.) Yup, Mummy Pig's zip line screws her over and she's stuck in the middle. This forces her to climb down and land in the muddy puddle. If you listen closely, you can hear Daddy Pig laughing all the way to the bank on that one. Peppa asks if she's right and Mummy Pig gets up and calls the puddle nice. She's fine. Peppa, Daddy Pig and George take zip lines and intentionally jump right into the muddy puddle and it's time for the MUDDY EARTHQUAKE RITUAL~! Everyone jumps into the muddy puddle and it's shake up time to end the episode at 4:30. Just the usual. ** 1/2 (50%).

Mr. Bull The Teacher: Uh-oh! This could be trouble as this is episode #307 on the animation paper, as the episode opens at the school house on the hill as all the kids rush into the school from their cars, while Mr. Bull is mowing the lawn with a non-motorized mower. All the kids sit down in front of Gigi. (Absent: Zoe Zebra, The Zebra Twins, The Panda Twins, Wendy Wolf, The Panda Twins and Molly Mole.) Gigi is about to teach something on the chalkboard when there is a squeaking sound. At first, I thought she farted; but Gigi realizes that the floor boards are causing the noise and maybe they should be fixed. (Peppa Pig was far more diplomatic about the moment that former self was. Maybe there is something to children being rude nowadays.) Then her cell phone rings and she answers it. It's probably Doctor Elephant calling, or Miss Rabbit because Gigi realizes that she has a dentist appointment. (Miss Rabbit was the assistant for Doctor Elephant in The Dentist, so it's more likely her.) In the middle of her class no less. Gigi has to leave for it as the kids wonder who will be teaching them. The door opens and in comes Mr. Bull. Guess who becomes their teacher for the next little while?! Come on, guess! It's too shocking! Surprise! It's OKAY, BOOMER~! POW! OUCH! Ummm...Again, why did you all punch me in the face?! Mr. Bull is the boomer of this show. All the kids do the pose as if all of them need to go to the restroom; but Mr. Bull accepts the terms. Can you sense the trainwreck coming, or do I have to spell it you for you?! (Yeah, because in storyline: Mr. Bull is a construction worker with multiple destructive kinks.) Gigi leaves and Mr. Bull decides to break the ice by teaching them numbers, and for once in this series, Danny Dog looks like himself. I guess Mr. Bull loves to reinforce the point if you catch my drift. (To be honest, Mr. Bull is not terrible as a teacher.) The kids are smart, Edmond writes the number 42, because Edmond is a something something that this show no longer allows. (Or just doesn't want to overkill the joke, former self. Occam's Razor doesn't work all that well in cartoons.) Then we do letters and that makes Mr. Bull look like he's just wasting time to get Gigi back. Hey, at least he is using positive reinforcement of old things instead of fat shaming Daddy Pig again. Next up, nursey rhymes with "Mary had a little lamb". Maybe in this world; but in the TaleSpin, Mary Lamb is a feminist. (Feminine Air, not a deer. No lies detected otherwise.) Next up, days of the week as even Peppa likes Friday over Monday. Years ago, this would be money. However, I find Mondays to be better as a video gamer. (Hint: Slow news day, slow game release day.)

Next up; fruit and vegetables. Sadly, Rebecca doesn't blush when she says carrot. I realize the show jumped the shark with the Golden Boots, but it might be time to end the series now. (Good luck with that happening former self. Besides, we wouldn't have gotten America and Baby Bumps, nor Grampy Rabbit character development.) Mr. Bull finally concedes defeat and steps backwards causing squeaking noises and shaking. The kids giggle on that one again as Suzy claims that Gigi wants the floorboards fixed. Uh-oh! This is trouble. Mr. Bull rolls up the carpet and in an amazing, shocking moment: He basically nail nails into the floorboards and doesn't dig up the floor! WOW! He didn't submit to his destructive tendences! AWESOME! (Sadly, he would piss this goodwill away soon enough.) Then his cellphone rings and he answers it. It's Gigi in the dentist chair in the dentist room with Doctor Elephant. I believe this is the first time I have mentioned him in any way since losing to FOURTEEN BABYFACES in puddle jumping. Mr. Bull basically tells the truth and Gigi is like: okay. She hangs up. She is going to regret that moment because the floorboards are still squeaking. Mr. Bull finds one floor board squeaking, then steps back and that floorboard is squeaking. So, when in doubt Mr. Bull does what he normally does: He'll dig up the floor! Ironically, the one floorboard that is squeaking legit is the one Mr. Bull is standing on and not the ones he pulled. The kids are completely amused by this. (Mr. Bull is our GEEK OF THE WEEK~! And SQUEEK~!) We head outside to the road in front of the dentist's office as Gigi gets into her car with Doctor Elephant looking on, I don't know why. Gigi rings up Mr. Bull on her cellphone during this and Mr. Bull tells her that everything is under control and hangs up. Back to Mr. Bull with the kids wearing hard hats and Mr. Bull is in his digger pulling up the floor boards. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) Jump cut to Gigi and her car making it to the school house on the hill. Gigi opens the door and I cannot stop laughing because not only did Mr. Bull dig up the floor, he literally dug up the foundation in the process! Geez, is there any wonder why I don't want Mr. Bull fixing my leaky roof?! Gigi is not amused by this as she wants everything back the way it was. Mr. Bull looks at the camera, doesn't blush (the blush would have made this better by the way) and agrees to it as he laughs. The kids do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. (The narrator says that he hopes Mr. Bull is good in filling it back up again as Gigi is doing the backsplash laugh. She knows the narrator is a load of bullshit. See what I did there?!) It's getting clear now that many of the gimmicks have been too problematic for this show and this felt like a decent episode without any real Peppa Pig touch. (Mr. Bull digging up the floor was the funniest climax in Series Six, so *** 1/2 (70%).)

Looking For Things: Next up is episode #308 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the house on the hill as we head to the kitchen table where Mummy Pig is making an apple pie and putting it into the oven. The rest of the family look on as they watch the apple pie bake for a while and this makes Mummy Pig think that they are a bunch of creeps. Mummy Pig tells that that it will take some time to cook, so she basically tells them to get lost until the apple pie is done. The kids and Daddy Pig go into the living room. Daddy Pig sits down on his love seat reading the newspaper. He wants to do the crossword puzzle, but has nothing to write with, so Peppa and George to find something for him to write with. The kids go upstairs to look for someting and of course, the first thing George finds is Mr. Dinesaur, because of course! Peppa Pig hilariously blows it off and George giggles as they find eighty million objects and none of them are used for writing. Heck, a crayon would suffice; even if it means Daddy Pig has to stoop to Donald Trump level idoicy. Oh, look; they found a red crayon, go downstairs and give it to Daddy Pig. Wow, I am on fire today! It's time to play a looking game, which is basically 50% of the series right there. There is a square shaped something in the living room. George of course brings out a round clock, because he's the dumb one today and Danny Dog is not around. Peppa finds the square painting filled with squares to guess that one correct. Next object: something that squeaks and the hint is that it's in the bathroom. Three guesses what it is and the first two don't count. I do love George picking a towel and Peppa claiming that they are quiet. People who have whipped other people with them wouldn't say that they were quiet, Peppa. They found the rubber duckie of course as George finds it first; so it's tied at one. It appears that Daddy Pig's entire game is designed so he could finish the crossword puzzle without the kids bugging him. (Somehow, one of the puzzles has literally one letter in it on the far shot.) Now we find something blue with no hints this time around as the kids run upstairs and sadly, the spotty ball is now red. I don't know why they bothered; since the spotty ball isn't blue to begin with. The kids look around the rooms and there is no speck of blue anywhere. Even though George's shirt IS blue. Damn; I'm so good as they go down stairs and Daddy Pig tells them to look in the mirror and George looks in the mirror and wins the looking game 2-1. Of course, he was wearing it, so BIAS~! They all go into the kitchen because Mummy Pig has summoned it. She has her guessing game and Peppa is really screwing it up; but it's that the apple pie is done. Three minutes in real time. Of course! (In Peppa Pig time, it was 2 PM when Peppa and George were looking in Mummy Pig's office and 10 AM when the pie was in the oven. The apple pie took FOUR HOURS minimum to cook in Peppa Pig time. That is one slow oven!) They have slices of apple pie as Daddy Pig sums up the pointless episode and they all giggle to end the episode at 4:30. Just a boring and heatless episode as I kept predicting what would happen minutes before it happened. ** (40%).

Poems: Next up is episode #309 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the school house on the hill as all the kids run in and sit down. Gerald Giraffe sighting! (Absent: George Pig, Richard Rabbit, Edmond Elephant, The Zebra Twins, The Panda Twins, Emily Elephant, Zoe Zebra, Wendy Wolf.) Gigi Gazelle then decides to cut a poem promo on the kids and the kids are more confused than Pedro F'N Pony is on a regular basis. Gigi's joker smile gave that one away. Gigi calls it a poem about wooly socks and Danny Dog is confused as he asks what is wooly socks. (Danny also does the pre-school version of "Whataboutism". Never a good idea.) Gigi hears it as asking what is a poem and her explaination is that a poem is using words to put a picture in your mind. That's the creepiest defintion of the word I have ever heard. Molly Mole is also confused as Gigi is waxing gardens, hot days, broken hearts and according to Danny Dog....wooly socks. Man, has Danny Dog's brain fried in the last couple of series or what?! Example: Danny rhymes Dog with... ummm...Dog. (He could have said "Cog", or "Bog", but he picks "Dog"?! This shows that a wagging tail is not a sign of intelligence, but is a sign of excitement.) Did Danny and Pedro switch brains in the last couple of months as well?! Mind you, Danny Dog in this season did a good job in the Mr. Potato fruit and vegetable quiz, while Pedro was dumb. Now Pedro is smart enough to keep his mouth shut and let Danny Dog be the stupid one?! (These character designs are becoming extremely sus, if you know what I mean.) Molly Mole cannot think of anything, at least she's honest about her confusion as Gigi suggests thinking of sounds. Besides, poems don't have to rhyme, and Gigi heavily implied it as such. We get to hear a lot of wind, I'm guessing Darkwing Duck is cutting another full of himself promo. That made sense to me. (Even in 2020, former self is still cutting Drake Mallard down to size. I find him to be a three trick pony nowadays. He's less complex than Wildcat Puma.) We make wind sounds for a while and then the bell rings for play time. Gigi wants them to experience life and make it into a poem, or something along those lines. We have Suzy and Peppa together at the swing set. Suzy and Peppa notice a brown bird tweeting and I mean making noises and not posting them on Twitter. The brown bird lands on Peppa's nose, so Peppa's poem promo was nice to it's ear. Not so much on mine. It's hard to take this seriously when "I'm A Wiggly Worm" was the best poem Peppa ever delivered in her lifetime. Suzy and Peppa get on the swing set and swing so hard that it's time for a....MUSIC BREAK~!

We get more poems as Suzy does her version of the Touch! Nintendo DS promo back in 2004. The music was awesome, but Nintendo's marketing team often forgot to remove the line "You look stupid" from the song. Not a good look. (Suzy Sheep debuts the "easy peasy, lemon squeezy" line in this episode. The DS promo used "I'm easy breezy and so Japanesey!".) At least Luigi getting his ass kicked by three Luigi look-alikes from around the world in the Mario Kart DS was funny and I can laugh at it. The kids giggle as the rain says "Fuck You All!". It's raining, it's pouring, old Daddy Pig is snoring, he made some concrete, got stuck in the head and couldn't get up in the morning! I wish Peppa would have said that, just because it would be so on-brand with this show. Nickelodeon has really interfered with this show's buzz. Sadly, we cut to Gigi saying that she needs to bring out the big umbrella of doom. Kids don't care, they default to jumping up and down in regular puddles and there is some big splashes in this one. How sad it is that Alloy from Horizon: Zero Dawn cannot do this and it is on a machine that is supposed to be the most powerful console in existence...until the next generation of consoles. (XBOX Series X says "hello"!) Even Switch had Link make a splash and that one was more realistic than Peppa Pig's! Switch is supposed to be underpowered to the gills. Gigi runs in with the BIG UMBRELLA OF DOOM, opens it and it actually lives up to it's name! How about that?! The kids make sounds in conjuction with how hard it is raining at this point. It's back inside the school as Mandy has to really wheel her chair stage left hard in order to avoid the rain, while Pedro stands there for three seconds too long before joining them. The kids all sit down as Molly Mole suggests making a poem about rain and Gigi likes the idea. I suspect major trolling to happen during this segment; but it doesn't happen as they give really good answers here. The punchline is that it makes Peppa want to jump up and down in muddy puddles. Sadly, that doesn't happen. (That should have been the finish as the parents watch on seeing the kids jumping up and down in muddy puddles while reciting this new poem. ) We cut to outside as the rain has stopped and the cars arrives with all the parents getting out and walking into the school as the bell rings. The kids are on stage as the parents look forward to hearing the poem about rain. Of course! Let's do a boring poem recital because killing obvious and entertaining punchlines is the responsible thing to do. (Not to mention that they did this finish thrice in Series Six alone! Also of note, the designers still cannot decide if Daddy Pig has black fur or brown fur. Maybe doing a two Daddies angle with them and Candy Cat would be better in hindsight.) The poem was all right. Mandy Mouse lifts the front wheels and slams them down in order to simulate jumping up and down as the parents all cheer. Laughing and clapping ensues to end the episode at 4:30. Danny Dog's creditability is dying before my eyes; but the episode was otherwise fine. ** 1/2 (50%).

Please & Thank You: Here is episode #310 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the house on the hill. We head into the kitchen with the entire Pig family at the table eating breakfast and reading the newspaper, in the case of Granny Pig. Then something amazing happened: Peppa asks for orange juice and even says "please" and "thank you". Which leads to Granny Pig reading the article saying that children these days are very rude. After all these episodes and seasons, Peppa is being "nice" here; after all the times Peppa has been a rude, evil troll. This episode was designed to give critics a stiff middle finger to them because they accused this show of booking the main character as rude. The irony of it all is that considering how evil many adults are nowadays and many of them are in the Republican party alone, methinks rudeness is the least of the worries. It's like with COVID-19; the things we consider anti-social now seem like the responsible thing to do and the stuff considered social is responsible for killing us all. Like going to church for example. Nuance is not the enemy of the good, nor the people. (I love this because the writers are expecting from the start that the critics are going to get angry beyond belief that the writers gave them the giant middle finger, like we see with Teen Titans Go! One problem: TTG is no good at it and it would be in their best interest to just ignore the critics outright and focus on making a good show. Peppa Pig has at least learned how to reel in the worst of Peppa and it's already a better show because of it. It's just too bad that they also reeled in a lot of what made the show funny to watch. However, some of it was problematic and the rest was repeated too many times that it wore out it's welcome. Yeah, if this was the protest show, it failed because I'm laughing my ass off seeing this, not angry at all. I'm not going to commentate any further, I'm going to let the episode speak for itself.) Even George can say please and thank you, as Granny claims that children have no manners and do not say those words, which Grandpa Pig claims that they always say "please" and "thank you". To be fair, there are a few episodes where this happens, but most of the time, Peppa acts like a troll. Sometimes it's understandable, other times, no.

Granny is relieved that Peppa and George are good children (SNORT~!) and Grandpa Pig claims that these words are magic. Even Peppa thinks this is bullshit; and to be fair to Peppa, it actually is. George talks more than any other episode I can think of in roughly thirty seconds and using only three words at best. He's overdoing it. We head outside to the back door as the car magically appears out of nowhere. Geez; those words really are magic in this world. Daddy Pig, George and Peppa get into the car and Peppa says thank you when she really didn't have to since no one asked for something. But hey, those words are considered magic in this world, so let's overdo it. All the cars head to the school house on the hill as Mr. Bull is cutting the grass with a hand mower and Daddy Pig likes it; so even Mr. Bull says thank you. Yeah; they are trying to gaslight the critics. Yawn. The kids all sit down in school with Gigi Gazelle. (Absent: The Panda Twins, The Zebra Twins, Freddy Fox, Wendy Wolf, Molly Mole.) Gigi brings out a rainbow fabric tree called the Being Nice Tree, which confuses Suzy. Gigi explains that if you are being nice, your picture goes up on the tree. I betcha Peppa and George knew this in advance and decides to practice beforehand. And likely everyone else did the same thing. Bunch of trolls?! Gigi puts her picture on the tree as Suzy asks: "How do you become nice?" Wow; that is like a confession of being a mean-spirited troll right there, Suzy. Someone needs therapy, STAT! Gigi claims that there is a lot of way to be nice; well, as much as there are ways to be rude. Peppa brings out the magic words of doom and explains them to the kids as Gigi wants to play a game with these words. One of them is Suzy Sheep and the another one is....MUSIC BREAK~! ...Danny Dog. Gigi gives Suzy an apple and Danny has to ask for the apple, and Danny doesn't say please. Yup, Danny Dog is getting buried in this show now. Suzy gives him the apple anyway and is perfectly fine with it; and they render the magic words completely pointless. Maybe we should work on actual empathy for others then you wouldn't need such words in the first place. Of course, this is all wrong and corrective measures must take place since we don't want critics to think that this show teaches children how to be rude. Never mind that this would have been more effective in Series One, instead of waiting 16 years and 300 episodes to give the critics the middle finger.

Danny of course thinks magic words does not equal please; so he's a simpleton. When even Pedro understands the magic word, Danny is getting buried. Danny finally gets it right, but since Gigi gave Suzy a second apple and Danny already has one and Suzy says no. In a way she has a point, since Danny already has an apple. Suzy is actually acting like a normal human being would in this situation. Gigi was so concerned in not looking like a hypocrite that she sabotaged her own game. I laughed my ass off for the whole thing, this was good. After some prodding from Gigi, Suzy gives Danny the apple and after more prodding, Danny says thank you and he goes back to sit down and has two apples, getting the last laugh on everyone, and I do mean everyone. Suzy sits down with the kids again, and Gigi Gazelle brings out her guitar and plays it as we invoke the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM complete with karoke as the kids stand up and sing and maybe dance. Pedro F'N Pony completely no sells this song. I see where Grandpa Pig got his idea at the end of Jukebox and I'm ranting these episodes out of order...AGAIN! The song is done as the door bell rings. Gigi answers it and it's Mr. Bull informing her that the grass is cut. Gigi calls it good and slams the door; and the kids literally call her out on it! Ah; so that's the person who wrote the article Granny Pig read at the beginning of the episode. What a hypocrite Gigi is?! Peppa tells her to say thank you. Gigi opens the door again, says thank you to Mr. Bull, Mr. Bull gets three words in and then Gigi slams the door on him, and the kids all smile and forgive her for it. Like I said, rudeness might be the least of their worries. For goodness sakes, let Mr. Bull turn around and leave before slamming the door. That was very rude. Gigi thanks the kids and everyone does the backsplash laugh. Mandy somehow does this without tipping her wheelchair to end the episode at 4:30. Much better than it had any right to be. *** 1/2 (70%). (The "Please & Thank You" song was sang during the end credits and it ends with Peppa snorting in a rude manner. Told you this was a joke.)

Ice Cream: Next up is episode #311 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the white house on the hill at the front with Grandpa Pig watering his garden. Granny Pig is sitting down in a chair, the kids giggling and about to throw the spotty ball. We get the ice cream jingle and here comes the ice cream truck and to my surprise, Miss Rabbit is not driving it this time. It's someone much, much more worse: Mr. Labo. That same piece of crap that guilt-trip Mummy Pig into paying for a game using sexist comments. I would not be patronizing that ice cream truck and run like the wind, a westerly wind. (The definition of a shithead. I don't know why they bothered since no one wants nor cares if Mr. Labo gets any sort of character development when there are dozens of other adult characters on this show who are less problematic than Mr. Labo with far less character development.) Naturally; everyone runs in. Mummy Cat and her family show up and asks about the vanilla being nice. (Cameos: Candy Cat, Not Daddy Cat (who actually speaks in this episode), Papa Donkey, Mummy Wolf, Granny Wolf, Daddy Wolf, Wendy Wolf, Mummy Panda, Peggi Panda, Pandora Panda and in a shock of all shocks: Gabriella Goat and Signor Goat. What the fuck?!) Mr. Labo is clueless and proceeds to eat the ice cream, lick the ice cream and then mess up his clothes in the process. The narrator states that this is his first day on the job, which gives me no confidence whatsoever either. Then he checks the strawberry flavor by repeating the spot and that turns him into a jobber. Which he already was, only worse. At least check the flavors at the shop before you dress up. The lineup for ice cream is much bigger and no one is walking away from this maniac. Also, they keep repeating the damn spot! STOP IT~! (Former self is channeling Larry Nelson from AWA at this point.) After the Wolf family get their ice cream, it's Peppa Pig's turn and lo and behold; there's no ice cream left. (Easy to achieve when you eat the profits. If you know what I mean.) This is the worst ice cream man in history and George bawls his eyes out and rightfully so, I might add. What a freaking asshole this Mr. Labo is?! Mr. Labo loves ice cream but hates being clean. Which is magically wiped away once they get into the white house on the hill. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) Mr. Labo lets them into his truck and he drives them home complete with that annoying ice cream jingle. (Compared to Mr. Labo?! Pfft, whatever former self. Considering the distance to the house, I'm guessing they did this spot since BS&P warned them out to allow anthromorphic characters to outrun vehicles because it's too dangerous. Or something.) We head to the kitchen as we get the ingredients on the table. Time for the ice cream version of "How It's Made".

Peppa decides to have raspberries and strawberries. In other words, it's the crimson berry ice cream! (I hope "How It's Made" is remade and have Harley Bird or Amelie Bea Smith do voiceovers. That would be glorious.) They go in and it's time for a...MUSIC BREAK~! Damn; and this episode was starting to get better, mostly because Mr. Labo hasn't done anything assholish since getting them into the truck. Apparently; you don't need an ice cream maker. You simply put it in a freezer bag, then put the freezer bag into a container of ice and salt, then wrap it in a towel and then shake it for five minutes, which is more than the entire episode itself. (I should note that Peppa wants strawberry/raspberry ice cream at the same time, and no one bothered to destem the berries before putting them into the milk/cream mixture.) Peppa speeds up time by invoking the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM on it. Everyone gets a turn, including Mr. Labo; who just shakes the container and nothing else. Granny shakes the container and we open it up to reveal: ice cream! Yeah; Peppa's bio clock is much faster than the real world's by a factor of at least ten. They eat the ice cream and Peppa gets inspired because she wants to share this ice cream with their friends and this is considered a wonderful idea. We head outside as the ice cream truck is riding among the country side with Mr. Labo driving, Peppa, George, Granny and Grandpa Pig in the back wearing ice cream hats. The truck stops and Peppa calls this the best ice cream in the world as all of Peppa's friends run in. (Present: Suzy Sheep, Mandy Mouse, Danny Dog, Gerald Giraffe, Zoe Zebra, Molly Mole, Freddy Fox, Rebecca Rabbit and Pedro F'N Pony. Only Richard Rabbit, Edmond Elephant and the Zebra Twins are absent in this episode.) Peppa hands out ice cream; and instantly is better at selling them than Mr. Labo. SAD! They have banana flavored ice cream and even carrot flavored ice cream, although Peppa wasn't sure they had it. (Suzy Sheep and Mandy Mouse originally asked for raspberry and blueberry, but the colors were raspberry for Mandy and mint for Suzy Sheep. Someone was trolling here.) Three guesses who loved that ice cream and the first two don't count. Mr. Labo really loves ice cream and eats his ice cream, cone and all. Everyone except the guys in the truck do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. This was a brutal episode at first; but it got back to respectibility at the end. And I predict a week before Mr. Labo gets fired and Miss Rabbit is back on the job stressed out...AGAIN! (Miss Rabbit I do believe returns to this job, although I think we sometimes see Mr. Labo on a few cameo appearances as well. This was better on the second viewing, mainly because Mr. Labo's only real offense was eating the profits while making sure the ice cream was top quality. He didn't make any bigoted comments and for the most part did the job he was supposed to do, so *** (60%).)

Science Museum: Here is episode #312 on the animation paper and episode opens at the science museum, which looks like any capital building in the USA as Miss Rabbit's bus arrives with Gigi Gazelle driving it. They all get out. Absent: Wendy Wolf, Zoe Zebra, The Panda Twins and the little kids except for Edmond Elephant. Because this is science and we need Edmond to be a smartass in this episode, you see. Everyone goes inside and of course the curator of the museum is the joke that never ends despite eveything getting sick of it and feels sad for the joke itself: Miss Rabbit. Speaking of jokes, at least they didn't erase their memories on the being in a museum, that would have sucked. Miss Rabbit proclaims that they can look, but not touch because everything is fragile as hell. This proves to be a lie as Miss Rabbit bumps into a vase and it doesn't shatter on cue. However, they are head to the science museum area where touching is not only allowed, it's encouraged. Suzy is pushing buttons on the rainbow colored bubble machine to make bubbles of course. Danny Dog is smashing balls for fun. (Must...clean.. my...head...after...this...rant.) Freddy Fox and Molly Mole admire the static electric mouclear cell display as Molly calls it spooky. Peppa demonstrates the pully machine with weights; and her noodle arms are too thin to lift that weight. We head to the second pully machine; which has a different design and the weight seems bigger. Which doesn't matter because Peppa pulls it up. I betcha the weight is gimmicked. (It is sort of gimmicked as Edmond explains.) Miss Rabbit is about to explain the thing, but Edmond Elephant cuts his science promo of doom and it's clear now that they have removed the "clever clogs" gimmick from him as well, as he's merely clever. Freddy Fox, Gigi, Pedro F'N Pony and Peppa are on the western end of the tube and suddenly they hear Suzy Sheep's voice and everyone is confused as Freddy wants to investigate this mystery and the kids simply skip around stage right as we see Suzy on the other end shouting into the wacky phone of doom. Gigi just has to be a dumb idiot because she thinks it could be used to talk to people from long distances. Molly: Like a telephone? I died. (That is without doubt, the highlight moment of Molly Mole's career.) I mean, Gigi always has a fucking cell phone on her person. How could she make that kind of mistake?! That's the mistake Pedro Pony makes, or more recently Danny Dog! (Gigi Gazelle is the VAMPIRE GEEK OF THE WEEK~!)Gigi admits that she screwed up as we head to the balloon container with Miss Rabbit taking out a green balloon and rubbing it on her tummy.

I should point this out: Miss Rabbit calls them magic balloons; which sounds absurd until you realize the old adage that the best science is that you think it's literally magic. That's why when Suzy says "It's magic, right?" and Daddy Pig says "yes"; it never fails to make me laugh. Miss Rabbit sticks a balloon to the wall due to the old science of static cling and it's time for a...MUSIC BREAK~! Mandy calls it magic of course, which Miss Rabbit corrects her and then admits that she has zero clue what she is talking about, so Edmond has to run in to save the day...And then we get the RAINBOW EXPLOSION OF DEATH...in a pre-school cartoon. (Okay, this deserves a mention: When Edmond is cutting his science promo, he is cut off by a rainbow explosion and everyone stops caring. I laughed and laughed and laughed some more.) In comes the last person you would expect to dab in science...Grampy Rabbit. (The same guy who dabs in making new thing from recycled materials?! Former self is also the GEEK OF THE WEEK~!) We head to the science table as Grampy Rabbit proclaims that it's time for some dangerous science. (Gigi's cringe eye says that this dangerous science is extremely sus.) Wait, so Grampy Rabbit is a Darkwing Duck fan?! Sod off, Grampy Rabbit! You are much better than that full of himself, really stupid mallard! (Grampy Rabbit is so much better than DARKWING...DUCK~!) Oh and Grampy Rabbit is a responsible adult at this. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, Grampy. The explosions say you are full of youself...just like Drake Mallard. (Nah, Grampy Rabbit is like Wildcat Puma, not Drake Mallard.) Next up, we have a mine cart that has a rocket motif. Gigi is questioning the safety of this and Grampy blows her off. I would believe Grampy before Gigi on this one. Peppa gets in and they do the push spot as Edmond is not in evidence here. Next up; a real rocket. No, not really. It's the same model rocket found in The Golden Boots, only this one is actually sturdy. (I think Space Adventure would like to have a word with you, former self.) They need someone small and Edmond Elephant hops into the rocket. Grampy claims that it completely flies itself with the remote control device. That's not the question Gigi wanted answered. Grampy don't care as he pushes the button and Edmond and the rocket fly high in the sky. Belinda and one of the Panda twins make an appearance. (Cameos: Mrs. Badger, Mr. Rhino, Daddy Wolf, Mummy Dog, Mr. Bear, Mummy Panda, Mrs. Cow, Mummy Mole, Peggi Pandora (or Pandora).) They tease breaking the high ceiling and then the rocket goes down complete with parachute. The rocket lands without incident as Edmond gets out and loves it. Peppa calls it brilliant and Gigi calls it unbelievable as everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. Once again, Grampy Rabbit takes a fun episode and really makes it great. However, he's so much better than Darkwing Duck. **** 1/4 (85%).

Jukebox: The next episode is episode #313 on the animation paper as we open the episode at the docks as Grandpa's sailboat arrives at the dock. Out comes the grandparents, Peppa and George with the kids wearing life jackets and not the adults. (That's right, we have gone SIX SERIES without the adults wearing lifejackets.) Grandpa Pig ties down the sailing ship as he wants some juice in the clubhouse; but Granny Pig thinks the clubhouse is too stuffy. Grandpa don't care; he wants some juice and so does Peppa. We head into the small clubhouse as we see Daddy Wolf and Granny Wolf sleeping at a table in the background. (Maybe the only time you see anyone formerly reading SKPPR magazine instead of EZZA magazine. One of the donkeys is reading EZZA magazine later on.) After Grandpa Pig shows off his membership card to the bartender (It's Mr. Hyrax once again!) and orders the drinks; here comes Mr. Stallion and Mrs. Corgi to annoy Grandpa Pig again. (We see in the foreground the waiter goat and Daddy Cat. Along with Mr. Rhino sleeping later.) Mr. Stallion of course talks normally and everyone shh's him. He did apologize for that though. Yes; everyone in the foreground and background are sleeping; so they have to do the episode whisper yelling. (Also sleeping are Mummy and Daddy Pony, and Mummy Dog wearing a purple hat.) It's like whisper yelling your plan; but you have no plan and you are not waking everyone up. Everyone seems to be a light sleeper in this show; and I speak from experience. Barely a minute in, we see the dreaded jukebox and Peppa likes music; but it hasn't been used in a long time since Granny blows dust away from it. In comes Grandpa Pig with the tray containing glasses of orange juice. They drink juice and then they completely abandoning the whisper yell gimmick and talk in a normal volume and the sleepers suddenly become heavy sleepers since no one sells it. That logic is really bad in this episode. Grandpa Pig doesn't want the jukebox to be played because it might wake them up. If their voices couldn't wake them up; music isn't going to do the job either. Besides, why have a jukebox in the clubhouse if you don't want any noise?! (Even Granny Pig points this out, so she knows this is dumb logic.) Again, bad logic. (Thankfully, a certain cheese loving rabbit will more than make up for this logic break!) Granny Pig inserts a coin into the jukebox and it lights up with loud sounds. The sleepers no sell this, so Granny Pig wants to play rock and roll music, the loudest music in all the world. I know some will say Death Metal's louder; but they aren't going to allow that in this show, so work with me here. (Are you sure about that former self?!) Granny pushes the button and the music is so generic that it's basically "Rock and Roll" over and over again. The Rockers singing their own theme song was much better than this and that was horrible. I'm not saying that because Jimmy Hart told me so, honest!

Peppa and George dance to their doom, not amused. Ironically, the only one who sells this is Mr. Stallion who is awake and protesting this outrage. Yes; the guy who woke some of the patrons up with his loud mouth is protesting this noise. But wait; it's only noise because it's Rock & Roll. Mr. Stallion loves DISCO BABEE~! Geez; my respect for him goes up about five notches now. Grandpa Pig does apologize for the noise; but Mr. Stallion is so cheap that he wants a coin from Grandpa Pig and gets it. Mr. Stallion inserts a coin and it's DISCO FEV....MUSIC BREAK~! -ER~! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! This 35 second thing inserted into the videos for copyright reasons is the most awesome thing ever! Somehow this wakes everyone up; due to the fact that there is an earthquake happening at the same time. I betcha Mr. Stallion blames Grandpa Pig for this mess, too. Peppa and George don't care because they love dancing as Mrs. Corgi run in to protest this outrage. However, not because it's too noisy, it's because she hates disco. Sod off, you bigot! She thinks hip-hop is better. Okay; let's insert that coin that Grandpa Pig is forced to give. Doesn't anyone outside of Grandpa Pig keep any small change on their person in this cartoon? And of course, Peppa basically snitches Grandpa Pig out because she's a troll, you see. Mrs. Corgi puts in the coin and we get the most generic hip hop in history. The writers literally think it's a song rather than a style. Somehow, hip hop is related to the robot dance move according to the writers. Peppa is so amused that earthquakes are now happening for some reason and it's not caused by jumping up and down. (The video I'm using has a low frame rate that it makes the dancing look even more hilarious than it should be.) Now, everyone is dancing and no one is protesting, so the sleeping was just a decoy. The doors open and in comes Grampy Rabbit to crash the party and outsmarts the bartender just to confuse Grandpa Pig...AGAIN! That was funny. Grandpa Pig asks what music Grampy Rabbit likes and he of all people picks... wait for it...Heavy metal. Which he pronounces it as Heavy Mental. I died and went to heaven. He might as well call himself Spooks The Ghost Lad and get it over with. Considering I see a lot of Peppa Pig videos edited: Someone should re-edit the video with Bryan Alaverz's Granny's voice onto Granny Pig, just for the hell out of it. Of course, it's the loudest music of all and the only one with no lyrics. Grampy Rabbit even uses the broom to play air guitar in a really neat touch as everyone is dancing to the music as the narrator claims that everyone loves dancing to music...except that Grandpa Pig is just standing there wondering how this all went so wrong. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Grandpa Pig is our GEEK OF THE WEEK~!) This episode ends at 4:30. Sadly, the video cut out in the middle of the credit run as it's a black background with Grampy Rabbit singing so badly I was laughing my ass off. You all know what this episode is getting. There is your best episode of Series Six right there! ***** (100%).

Windmill: Next up is episode #314 on the animation paper as episode opens at the school house on the hill as the kids all run down the hill and start playing in the playground on various sets. (Absent: George Pig, Richard Richard, Zoe Zebra, The Panda Twins, The Zebra Twins, Mandy Mouse, Gerald Giraffe.) Here comes Mr. Bull and he apologizes about the noise. How about apologizing for digging up the school floor in the last episode you were directly in?! That would be a better apology than some non-existent noise. (Hey, I'll give Mr. Bull credit: He did give actual fair warning to the fact that there would be a lot of noise.) Then the noises start and in comes Mr. Labo and Mr. Rhino with drillers and diggers. Mr. Bull cuts his promo and it's so earnest and honest that his face is suddenly the most punchable face in the show. Like I said before, calling him a boomer is surprisely accurate. The kids and Gigi aren't too concerned about this as they want to see what it is. Mr. Labo drills a hole and the first guess is a swimming pool by the kids. That's reasonable; but Molly Mole notices straight away that it's not. That's because we see a giant metal cone is inserted into the hole. So, it's a rocket, but even Suzy Sheep thinks this is bullshit as it has petals on it. A metal flower?! (That is what Emily Elephant said I should note.) It looks like it; but it's really a windmill. How funny that it was Peppa who figured it out by herself?! No surprise, since she is the star of this show after all. Edmond basically explains what windmills do in a nutshell. In a BIG shock; the narrator actually calls him a CLEVER CLOGS~! Okay, I was wrong; I think the writers realized that they drove the jokes into the ground way too much now and they have smarten up to that. After some dream sequences of various objects turning on because of electricy, Gigi also reveals that it comes out from the bottom end. (That boombox needs fixing, it shouldn't be able to jump up and down like a four year old jumping in a muddy puddle.) I'm more surprised Edmond didn't cut her off then, because it sounded really dumb. (My guess is that Edmond was admitting that Gigi was close enough to the nose that correcting her was not needed in this case. I have heard worse explainations than this even if this one sounds like an ass joke.) Everyone goes into the school and to the table because it's time to make windmills with paper, plastic straws, scissors, pins and glue. We do some How It's Made stuff for a while. Gigi decides to invoke in a nice way, an oldie but goodie joke:

John Cena: I'm like a pinwheel, so you can go ahead and blow me!

Which is what Gigi does and I'm certain a few readers of this site will need some brain bleach after that one too. Yes, a grownup has to use the scissors, because safety scissors are no longer safe. But glue is still safe to use as Freddy literally overdoes it. Yes, even a grownup has to insert a pin into the pinwheel, which is literally what they are making. (Okay, I can understand sort of children don't being allowed to use scissors, but the paper fasteners?! Nickelodeon's BS&P is starting to really annoy me. Big kids would have been allowed to use both without question. It's also a bit hypocritical to allow the kids to use glue since glue sniffing and glue eating can happen with small children, and can have negative consequences.) All the kids start blowing into the pinwheels, and they all work. Except for Edmond Elephant's pinwheel. Wow; I didn't think they had the guts to make EDMOND look stupid, but here we are. (Basically, Edmond creates the biggest pinwheel possible and forgets that his lung cap is very, very week. Edmond Elephant wins GEEK OF THE WEEK honors! Very rare for an obvious nerd like Edmond.) Basically; the kids all have to blow hard to make the pinwheel work. No, it is not as big as Mr. Bull's windmill. (Sorry Peppa, none of you combined would have the lung caps to blow that pinwheel.) Gigi decides to go outside with the kids to see if the destructive adults are ready with their real windmill and Gigi says it like a pro-wrestler in the 1980's would cut said promo. Everyone goes to Mr. Bull's windmill as it is making electricy...to heat up Mr. Bull's coffee maker. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Leave it up to Mr. Bull to make something so useful look so damn useless. (What a dumb finish that was and Mr. Bull is also the GEEK OF THE WEEK~!) The workers sit down at the foldable table to have tea. Of course! Everyone approves of it as they all laugh to end the episode at 4:30. Dumb finish aside, it was hilarious and an otherwise fun episode. *** (60%).

Mandy Mouse's Birthday: Next is episode #315 on the animation paper as the episode opens at CHEESE WORLD~! Two seconds in and I'm laughing at this. Also, an episode showing Zoe Zebra entering the park. How about that?! Sadly, she is not part of the group entering the park with Mandy Mouse. (Cameos: Not Candy Cat, Mummy Cat, Mr. Rhino, Rohan Rhino, Not Mummy Sheep, Mummy Wolf, Daddy Wolf, Mr. Zebra.) Besides Mandy and Mummy Mouse, we see Peppa, Molly, Suzy, Pedro, Gerald and Rebecca Rabbit. No Danny Dog, the Panda Twins nor the little kids. Either they are ill; or they are bigots. Wendy Wolf entered before Mandy by the way. Mandy spins her wheelchair around and proclaims that it's the fun park of all time! She loves to cheese it up, so to speak. This is good cheese though, so it all works out. Miss Rabbit of course is the ticket vendor, because the writers still think the gimmick of dozens of jobs is still funny. She is so giddy about this that she might be the next Monteray Jack. See what I did there? Oh, and Mandy Mouse has been here before and likes the place, so they aren't going to show spots where there is no wheelchair accessability; which is a nice bonus. (I was ready to bury this episode if this happened, but Mandy put the kabosh on that one.) Everyone enters and Miss Rabbit does the tour, in which Mandy Mouse keeps cutting her off because she has been here before. (Job #1990!) I guess we need two supervising adults due to the large crowd, but can you find someone else other than Miss Rabbit?! How about Mummy Rabbit?! We do the cheese river rafting (MAX: 5 persons and social distancing is impossible by the way) for a while as sadly, the boats are made of plastic with a cheese motif. I betcha the cheese river is really water with a cheese colored dye. (Like WWE did with Kurt Angle hosing down everyone with "milk" on RAW.) Let's see if Peppa asks the question on that...She doesn't. Odd. (Now there is a mystery that deserves to be solved. Get on the case Neneko!) The cheese mountain is also plastic and is another tunnel of love, only cheesy love. They get off and Mr. Rabbit is showing off the cheese airplane, that is connected to the ground by a pole. Think slot car track and you are almost there. Mummy Mouse helps Mandy out of her wheelchair into the cheese airplane, which of course is plastic. Mandy demonstrates the controls and somehow at least three airplanes show up out of nowhere. Not really a logic break since they are slot airplanes and there's a slot hole in the ground.

Everyone gets in their airplanes and off we go as somehow there are cheese suns and clouds despite clearly being in mid-air. The kids are all amused by the shot as if everyone is on some sort of small globe. We make it to the end as Mummy Mouse helps Mandy back into her wheelchair and everyone gets out. Oh my god; it's Grampy Rabbit with a cheese hat on! That deserves a * just for that, because Grampy Rabbit is awesome! (Question: Why is he wearing that hat? Answer: He did it to be Grampy Rabbit.) This castle of cheese is the best bit because the cheese here is not plastic, it's the real thing. Sadly, it's not the actual castle, that would have sucked and Grampy Rabbit probably would hate life. Everyone goes into the castle of cheese and it's basically them sniffing various cheeses because good cheese is the smelly cheese. The kids liked the first one, but Grampy Rabbit wasn't impressed. Next up is stronger smelling cheese and he liked this one more. Pedro smells and apparently, he remembers how stinky Daddy Pony's socks are. Ouch! (Must be the infamous Horse Ass Boys cheese I keep hearing about with Sony fanboys.) The kids all giggle as Grampy Rabbit takes them to the piece de smelly resistance which is the smallest cheese of the three with green smells that appear that this cheese was made in a toxic waste dump. Even Mandy Mouse is worried about Grampy Rabbit's well being here; that was good. (You know this is a special kind of cheese when even Mandy is worried about Grampy Rabbit's mental health and well being.) Grampy smells the cheese and then he faints dead away. I died on that one and then he stops selling, sits up and laughs. That was funny and now Mandy Mouse is perfectly fine about him now. Mandy smells it and totally no sells it, because she's a mouse who loves cheese. This makes sense actually. We dim the lights and here comes a cheesecake, literally made of Swiss Cheese. Mandy calls this her best birthday ever as everyone giggles to end the episode at 4:30. Which sadly means she never got to blow out the candles. Doesn't matter as this was one of the better birthday episodes! All thanks to cheese and Grampy Rabbit of course. It's the cheesiest birthday in the series, that is for sure. **** 1/2 (90%). Wow, three thumbs up episodes in this rant alone all due to Grampy Rabbit's involvement, he's on fire!

The Sand Castle: Here is episode #316 and the final episode of Series Six on the animation paper as episode opens at the beach as the car arrives. (The narrator calls it the seaside I should note.) The Pig family is in their swimming costumes as they make to close to the shore line with buckets and shovels because it's sandcastle time~! (For context: This episode is following Mandy Mouse's Birthday. I don't think it can follow it.) Peppa will show us how, and she's implying that the adults cannot do this despite Daddy Pig being the one showing them that. Peppa is still a troll. At least it's a lot more like the writers are erasing previous series than Peppa being an actual troll, but it still amuses me. In comes Pedro F'N Pony wearing the most ill fitting swim trunks in history. Pedro likes the sand castles; but he thinks that they are thinking way too small. Speak for yourself, you ugly American~! (Even more amazing, this is the last episode BEFORE Peppa actually goes to America for real!) Anyhow; he creates a wall around the sand castle. Oh my goodness; he does support Donald Trump! He is an ugly American! This gaslights the Pigs into building a wall. DAMN! (Wow, former self really believed this was something political. No one can accuse me of not milking political views dry, that is for sure.) After that display of ugliness, in comes Wendy Wolf with Mr. Wolf. Mr. Wolf is still doing the Big Bad Wolf gimmick; but nothing further comes out of it. (I wish he blew down that sand wall. That would have been money.) Wendy suggest building a huge sandcastle in the middle and all the kids present dig sand into the center of the sand fence with four sandcastles as points. (Wendy Wolf would love going to Clam Harbour Beach, where sandcastles are an international competition in Nova Scotia. I wish I was ribbing you.) They make a giant hill in the process as Peppa shovels sand into the bucket and makes another sandcastle on the top. Wendy then finds some conveniently placed colored stones and puts them on top of the fence, calling them bobbly bits. (Basically to make remparts. The narrator calls them pebbles.) We call them sticking out bricks, but whatever.

Peppa proclaims that this also needs.....MUSIC BREAK~! ...flags. Which the kids collect little sticks and some pieces of seaweed. The flags are made and posted. Pedro uses sea shells for the windows. Mummy Pig then wants a moat which confuses Pedro. Somethings never change when it comes to the clueless wonder that is somehow less clueless than Sony Ponies. Everyone digs outside the castle walls digging a trench for the moat. Somehow, they did this without the sand landing inside the walls. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) Then the kids take buckets to the shore line and fill them with water. They return to the sandcastle and pour the water into the trench to create the moat. This goes on for a long ass whomping time. The castle is finished; but Peppa has wet dreams that cannot be filled. In comes Mr. Crab; who has no relation to Mr. Krabs from Spongebob Squarepants, thank the writers for small favors! (The narrator claims that Mr. Crab is taking a look at the castle and the crab looks like it's just there and don't care about anything, much less castles.) The crab looks sad and the kids offer the crab the castle to live in. However, the crab cannot cross the moat, so they need a bridge. George runs to the shoreline and grabs a conveniently placed piece of driftwood and places it across the moat for the bridge. The crab crosses the bridge, but he cannot climb the walls. Then Mummy Pig punches out a door for it. The crab walks inside and walks up and gets up to the top of the castle. The anthros all declare him the king of castle -- which makes the anthros nothing but dirty rascals -- which is perfectly accurate. (The crab giggles doing the double victory sign, because it's claws allow him to do that actually.) Peppa declares this the best sandcastle in the world and everyone laughs to end the episode and Series Six at 4:30. (That sandcastle would be below average at best during the sandcastle competition at Clam Harbour Beach. I'm just saying, Peppa.) Just your average Peppa Pig love in and really disappointing. Although to be honest, they had to follow Jukebox and even Mandy Mouse's birthday; and had no chance in hell of pulling it off. *** (60%).

THE REVIEW LINE

A pretty awesome set of episodes in this one. Mandy Mouse's Birthday is one of the best birthday episodes ever due to Grampy Rabbit being the greatest cheese tester ever and a park that was fully committed to the cheese theme and being as cheesy as possible. Mandy Mouse was also great in this one. Jukebox did have a few logic issues; but once the Jukebox got started, it was one hilariously bad song after another to dance, ending with Grampy Rabbit bringing the best music in Peppa Pig history. Heavy Mental music is the new classical music in this world. Science Museum was also great as it had the best moment in Molly Mole's career and Grampy Rabbit being the most rainbow explosive scientist ever. Gigi was a complete geek for my pleasure and the finish involving Edmond and the rocket was a classic. Grampy Rabbit really made these three episodes stand out as awesome and in Series Seven, he'll be getting a huge push in the character development department. Looking For Things was just a boring and heatless episode that was so predictable that the slow oven was the most interesting thing about it. While I still don't like Mr. Labo, Ice Cream was okay as Mr. Labo pretty much did the job he was supposed to do outside of eating the profits and messing himself. It's a lot less brutal than former self claims. Please & Thank You was the real MVP of the episode in it's own way due to how earnest it was to make us buy that Peppa Pig is now the nicest, kindest, gentlest character in this show even with all the evidence that refutes that claim over and over again, while gaslighting all of us into believing that the kids in real life are the rude ones, even though they were the ones who watched Peppa Pig being rude all those years. This was so comical that if the writers were trying to get a reaction in order to make the critics mad; it failed with me because I was laughing my ass off the entire time. Teen Titans Go succeeded in making critics cringe and blow up with anger, including me. Peppa Pig, nope! Everything else was the usual Peppa Pig love in.

So, that ends Peppa Pig Series Six! Let's tally up the figures thus far:

Series Six: 12 Thumbs Up, 4 Thumbs Down, 36 Thumbs In The Middle.
Overall: 75 Thumbs Up, 19 Thumbs Down, 222 Thumbs In The Middle. (12 1/2 Up per Series, 3.17 Down per Series, 37 Middle per Series.)

Seven Seven is currently the final full Series left to do additional commentary and Series Six was really good despite Nickelodeon's BS&P kicking in and a general attempt to nuance the show more. Next up is the debut of Lottie Llama and Penny Polar Bear! Peppa Pig goes to America! Grampy Rabbit's true character is revealed! More muddy puddles and more fun times ahead as Doctor Brown Bear finally retired and Doctor Polar Bear debuts with her beloved Mummy Polar Bear as they manage to piss off anti-vax and homophobic bigots the world over. Oh, and did I mention the Clubhouse that outed this couple before Families was even talked about?! Stay tuned as we are deep into the Amelie Bea Smith era. So...

Thumbs up for Mandy Mouse's Birthday, Jukebox and Science Museum. Thumbs down for Looking For Things. Thumbs in the middle for the rest of them and I'll see you all next time.

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