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Twenty Years Of Muddy Puddles: Peppa Pig Series Seven #1 Rant

Reviewed: 03/31/2021
Additional Commentary/Edited: 09/25/2024

Grandpa Pig VS. The World Of Birds!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Next up for the family of puddle jumping anthroed pigs is some motorbiking to the beach to protect Grandpa Pig's fruit, Peppa Pig goes to America, lots of winking, Freddy and Peppa are criminals (2024 Gregory Weagle Says: No, not really.), some hopping, skipping and jumping, Miss Rabbit needs rescuing, and Peppa now has a diary. How do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Opening Moment #1: Peppa Pig is literally in the desert with a cowboy hat and wearing her yellow boots for this opening. Everyone is wearing boots and cowboy hats here. Sadly, this opening was used in all four parts and considering how huge the deal was at the time; I would have thought that they would do four different openings: one regular, a Texas one (the one they used), a Canyon Country one and a Hollywood one with Peppa dressed up as broccoli. Oh well, let's move on shall we...?! (Also of note: At the end of the opening, the Peppa Pig *Snort* is still voiced by Harley Bird at this point.)

America: Here is episode #317-#320 on the animation paper and episode opens at the little house on the hill as the background music is a remix version and sounds like it's Americanized. The title card has half blue/half red and apparently, the blue is on the left, the red is on the right and the red is the majority color. Talk about this show becoming Republican all of a sudden! (Yup, former self getting political again.) The Pig family is in the sitting room watching the tele about a potato who is a superhero. Super Potato announces that his new movie is coming soon and you can win a trip to Hollywood, California to "star" in a cameo role in his new movie: "Vegetables In Space!" (As we all see later, the "starring" part is a major grift in the end.) I think this is the most animated sequence in the television's history on this show as well. In order to win; you must find the GOLDEN TICKET OF STARY DOOM; which is basically the veggie version of Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory. Everyone teleports to the kitchen as Mummy Pig is cutting up veggies for a veggie soup. Peppa asks about the ticket and Mummy Pig is certain that they would have to be the luckest ones alive to find out. She cuts a potato in half and there is the golden stary ticket. Of course! If they couldn't find the ticket, the episode is over in a minute rather than the eighteen minute fest we are going to get here. As Pedro Pony would say: "That's a super lucky golden ticket!" (The Backyardigans would call this mighty convenient of them.) They all exclaim that they are going to America, BABEE~! (I know they mean United States because America represents South, Central and North America; but remember in storyline: There is no Canada nor Mexico nor any South American countries!) Good thing this was copyrighted in 2019; because this would have been far more problematic if the copyright was 2020 or even now. (COVID-19, everyone. Even though it's a cartoon that could take place in 2004 for all we know. Gotta grind the axe, BABEE!) Jump cut to an airplane flown by Miss Rabbit of course. Mr. Wolf cameos here as the plane still looks like a submarine sandwich with wings. (Daddy Cat also cameos here.) Oh, and the stars get front row seats behind the cockpit because Miss Rabbit doesn't know where America is, just to show how not so above it all Britian is. Of course! After the clouds clear and even Daddy Pig has a clue of where America is since it's big; Miss Rabbit literally has to ask avaition control if this is America. The male voice says "yes" and Miss Rabbit lands the plane on the landing strip without further incident.

Jump cut to outside the airport area with the Pig Family and Miss Rabbit. Suddenly, a yellow taxi appears and outs Miss Rabbit with an American accent! Do you know what this means?! It means that there were dozens and dozens of Miss Rabbits working all these jobs despite having the same DNA all along. They killed the "Miss Rabbit has millions of jobs" gimmick dead and thank you show for finally doing that! It's still silly; but it's a lot more believable and I can finally breathe a sigh of relief for Miss Rabbit's well being now. (You jumped the gun a little bit here former self: This didn't officially happen until the end of the four parters while all the American Miss Rabbit joined in. Now if only we can identify the Miss Rabbits in Britian. Maybe give them palette swaps of each other. It's not like we see that in the background characters on this show already.) She still should be the Queen of England though. Peppa Pig is selling this like she cannot believe this culture shock is happening to her. I can believe it and it ruled! Miss Apple Rabbit and the Pig family get into her taxi as Apple Rabbit informs them that this is not Hollywood, this is New York City, which in many ways is Hollywood East. We drive on a five lane highway and all in one direction I might add as it's time for the tour of New York City. The city that never sleeps; which was basically a lyric from Frank Sinatra's "New York, New York". Ironically, this term also applies to Chicago and Las Vegas in America. I should also note that in Frank Sinatra's song; he lists it as a requirement, so any city that has a 24-hour/7 days a week service would qualify for the term. (Basically, any place nowadays.) Apple Rabbit sleeps at night though as she honks the horn. We see the tall buildings and Peppa Pig is awed by it. They stop at the Empire State Building and go through the main hall into the elevator. Now there is a logic break here: There were a few adults at the top of the building looking off. When the family and Apple Rabbit make it to the top; all of the adults are gone even though there is clearly only one elevator. Dumb! By the way, during the elevator sequence; Peppa asks if Apple Rabbit does all the jobs. Apple Rabbit changes her taxi gear for ice cream gear, gives them ice cream and basically states that she only does the important jobs. Which is apparently only three jobs. Good. Daddy Pig is closing his eyes because he's scared of heights as usual. By the way, they called the electronic binoculars a giant telescope here.

Peppa takes a peek at the Statue of Liberty; which Peppa thinks the legit torch (not flashlight like in Britian) is an ice cream cone. Cue right wing scre...oh wait, the right wing hate the Statue of Liberty, my mistake. Can you believe Peppa Pig pronounced the name of the statue better than Miss Apple Rabbit?! Everyone bails back to the taxi and Miss Apple Rabbit blows off Mr. Apple Lion who is delievering parcels in his trucks before driving away stage left. (Mr. Hyrax sighting! There's no point in discussing cameos here, because there are way too many of them and almost all of them are palette swaps.) It's literally HAPPY HOUR and we get the auto tour of Times Square. Peppa is in awe of the pretty lights. Ben & Holly make another cameo despite their show ending years ago. (Which despite all the love for Peppa Pig, most probably don't know that the same creators of Peppa Pig also created Ben & Holly's Magical Kingdom. Sad!) There are lots of lightbulbs and it's the lightbublest square in all of the world. I can believe that; power consumpation must be murder in these parts. Then Peppa notices on one of the big screens that Super Potato is flying in the sky; and declares to Miss Apple Rabbit that she is appearing in his new movie. And this promo alone introduces Mr. Hashbrown, who is so square he might as well be boring. (Oh come on, now! He at least has the smile of a star!) Miss Apple Rabbit is shocked at this and informs them that she cannot personally take them there, but she changes into her fourth job which is to be an mobile home rental clerk and gives them the keys to a motor home; which means that they have been in a motor home and a camper van in the same series. Lovely! Miss Apple Rabbit has a crush on Mr. Hashbrown; but she cannot come because she is a forewoman on a construction site. Yes, the gimmick is that she switches hats to change jobs, why do you ask? Everyone gets into the motorhome as they all are sleepy. They put the curtains up and they sleep right in the middle of the road with cars honking to end part one at 4:30 approx. (They found a way to do the stupid "Daddy Pig drives into the wrong side of traffic" spot that's done in all holiday episodes.) This was quite a mess of logic breaks, but I'm happy that the Miss Rabbit joke is officially dead and all is right with the Peppa Pig world. (Miss Apple Rabbit who is credited as one of the American Miss Rabbits is voiced by Teresa Gallagher and Hash Brown is voiced by Dan Russell, I should note.) *** 3/4 (75%). Now I would think that the next episode would return to New York and such; however... (The end credits feature stuff from America, whatever.)

(Also of note, in the end credits, there are two copyright notices for the Empire State Building and The Hollywood Walk Of Fame, indicating that the creators literally needed a legal department to clear those things. Strangely, the Statue of Liberty doesn't have a copyright notice. I can understand national parks not having them for obvious reasons, but I would have expected the statue to at least have such a notice since it was created and maintained by human beings in real life.)

The Diner: We open the episode on an boring American road with the motor home being driven by Daddy Pig on the right side of the road, both ways! That is one whiplashing jump cut there guys! (I should note that the motorhome has flowers on the side, the G-rated way of telling you the excesses of American life.) There is a billboard in the background featuring Super Potato and Mr. Hashbrown. There is also a billboard for a diner as well; as the narrator sums up a motor home. Sadly, there is no talking GPS in this one. They stop at a diner, which doubles as a gas station. (Which is very American. If it was Canadian, there would also be a convenience store.) There is a green rocking chair with Miss Texas Rabbit playing the guitar, so she's rocking in more ways than one. Texas Rabbit also has a clear southern accent as she points out that the Pig family is a long ways away from Hollywood; but offers them to stay for some breakfast. The Pig family is happy about this. Now, there is no way this would have been 100% accurate with real life, because Texas Rabbit doesn't have a gun on her person, but whatever. (BS&P is not going to allow guns anymore in a children's cartoon and it's understandable why. Kit Cloudkicker and the TaleSpin gang in general would be happy for it. They have had more than their fill of having guns pointed to their faces already as it is.) They are anthros; it wasn't going to be 100% real anyway. Everyone heads into the diner as Miss Texas Rabbit goes behind the counter to the grill to grill eggs while invoking the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM about them eggs overeasy. I don't like eggs per se; but I loved this song and the explaination that goes with it, so this was a win, sort of. (I just love how Peppa says she loves her egg on toast before she eats it.) Daddy Pig wants to sit back and sleep; which is doing something. However, Texas Rabbit cuts them off because it's time for some country dancing. Oh, this is going to be fun to mock, I assure thee. There is a band headed by Bob Bobcat; so Bob joins Gigi as the only two anthro adults in this show with real names and not titles. (There is another major character getting an actual name later on that will change everything.) Basically, it's a violin, bass and banjo as Bob Bobcat is calling the square dancing of doom. There is a lot of DUBBED ANIME STYLE singing in this song as the whole thing is taking place in a barn with everyone square dancing. Mr. Sloth Bear comes in and gives the family cowboy hats. (I think it was supposed to be Mr. Grizzly Bear, but they forgot to color him brown.) Square dancing ensues and the Pig family does a decent job of dancing considering that this is their first time doing it. I wonder if Pedro was giving Peppa pointers in Britian?! (That sounds like a reasonable statement, former self. Hey, it makes Pedro F'N Pony sound even less clueless.)

Then comes the greatest part of this entire trip to America: Texas Rabbit asks if Peppa wants to call a square dance and she accepts. This is total trainwreck television and it was great! Peppa calling a square dance while singing off key just makes this so funny to watch. Even funnier is George shouting "dinesaur" and growling accents the chaos even more. Also; the dancers all do the dinesaur growl on command and without prompting, the dancers all do the backsplash laugh in stereo. Nothing in this entire trip is going to top that one! (Peppa Pig is Max Castor and George Pig is Anthony Bowens from The Acclaimed in this setup.) The violin player is amazed by all this; but then an anthro in overalls and a helmet runs in and blows off the noise; because they want to hear their monster trucks. Yup, this is Texas, go big or go home as they say! Peppa sums up a monster truck perfectly and I cannot do the description justice here! The two monster trucks are ready to jump off a ramp and over a giant muddy puddle. I also discover that the guy complaining about the noise is Mr. Coyote as he jumps over the muddy puddle with ease. The crowd pops for him, dust flies, slow claps ensue. Daddy Pig thinks this is fun, so the toxic masulicinity has taken over and he climbs into the monster truck with ease and then realizes that he screwed himself, because he though he's lower than usual, he's still afraid of heights. How he managed to get over in an airplane without fear is mind blogging to me. (You wonder why I want them to abort this angle?! The logic makes no sense. At least the body shaming had logic even if it was horrible.) Daddy Pig clearly is driving way too slow, despite Mummy Pig pointing out the obvious to us. Daddy Pig jumps over the ramp and into the muddy puddle. Somehow -- in Eddie Gurerro fashion -- the hydrolics force the monster truck to literally jump up and down in muddy puddles. Awesome! And the second this happens, Daddy is having the time of his life and has stopped selling his fear of heights. (Again, logic sucks!) Peppa then dares Mummy Pig to do this and she backs out because they are going to Hollywood. Texas Rabbit is shocked to hear that, despite the fact that they told her this from the start of the episode! That was dumb. Daddy Pig mentions that they are starring in a new film with Super Potato and Mr. Hashbrown while somehow covered in mud, despite not being in the mud at all. This American logic is so silly. (SUZY...Oh wait...) Also, Miss Texas Rabbit has a crush on Mr. Hashbrown; but she cannot come to Hollywood with them. Sigh. Jump cut to the front of the diner as Miss Texas Rabbit is sweeping the front with a broom while the Pig Family is in the motor home on the boring road. Both sides say their goodbyes as Daddy Pig drives the motor home out west complete with banjo music to end part two at 4:30 approx. I loved this episode and it's all downhill from here. Nothing tops Daddy Pig in a monster truck and Peppa calling a square dance with George as her second. **** 1/2 (90%).

Canyon Country: This episode opens on a boring road with hayrolls and rock mountains in the background as Mummy Pig is now driving the motor house as they make jokes on canyon country making like being on the moon. Daddy Pig is on map reading duty and he is using the same British map that is upside down like in every episode that it is in. (Because we have to make Daddy Pig the GEEK OF THE WEEK and being in a monster truck that jumps up and down in muddy puddles doesn't count.) Before he declares themselves lost, the motor home stops due to digging up the road by Mr. Buffalo, who is basically the Americanized Mr. Bull. Do I smell a spin-off to this series?! Why not?! It's been 17 years since this show debuted and you need to milk it for all it's worth. Why not do an American version of Peppa Pig and see if it can pop a number?! (No, former self did not mean an American dub of Peppa Pig, I mean doing an Americanized slice of life show in the same vein as Peppa Pig.) Mr. Buffalo tells them it's the desert when Daddy Pig walks out, however; it used to be the sea. Mr. Buffalo is more educated than I thought was possible in that portion of America. He missed his calling as a teacher. (I said the same thing about Mr. Bull, actually.) Peppa and George notice seashells on the sand as Mr. Buffalo really milks this history so much that he could be Grampy Buffalo for all I know. Mr. Buffalo points west to indicate the direction and we jump cut back to the motor home driving west on the boring road; and of course the narrator decides to milk this because that is the running gag for this episode. (Basically, the narrator and Mr. Buffalo say "miles and miles", rinse, lather, repeat.) Peppa asks if they are there, Mummy Pig says no because America is a big country and could go on forever. Considering that Canada doesn't exist in this world as per International Day; I wouldn't be surprised if Canada is considered the 51st state in this world. Mr. Bison then orders the motor home to stop and Peppa thinks he's Mr. Buffalo. Mr. Bison (no relation to the dictator from Street Fighter II; since Master Bison is not an anthroed bison) corrects her nicely of course as there is no digging up the road, he's just there to reveal a canyon. (I guess Mr. Bison is Mr. Buffalo's brother like Mr. Bull has a brother in Britian.) Of course! I guess a bridge is being planned here since Americans have no respect for nature. Allegedly. It's 277 miles long, 18 miles wide (which is silly since we shouldn't see the western side of the canyon cliff if that were true) and one mile deep (which is silly since we shouldn't see the bottom of the canyon if that were true). Mr. Bison's calculation sound sus to me, although he admits that a river made that canyon and not his digging at all. That sounds very Canadian to me.

Oh, and out of nowhere and much more believable than a gift shop on the moon; there is an information booth with Miss Canyon Rabbit. (I believe this is the Mid-West/Northern version of Miss Rabbit. Sort of like Apple Rabbit being from the east and Texas Rabbit being from the south.) She's wearing a blue baseball cap with the canyon on the front and apparently, it is sold at the booth as well. It's time for the tour, which means everyone into the blue helicopter with yellow props! The helicopter flies around the canyon area for a while as Mr. Dinesaur has in fact made the trip for the first time, shown by George after Canyon Rabbit mentions dinosaurs in her promo about the canyons. No dinosaurs exists anymore; but we finally get the appearance of the American bird -- the bald eagle -- three and a half episodes into the special. Then we head to a rapid river containing an inflatable raft which somehow doesn't move despite the rapid river. The helicopter goes above the raft and out comes a rope ladder. Yes, the Pig family is going to climb down into this raft instead of landing the helicopter and getting in the raft from the shoreline, why do you ask?! Even Mummy Pig is questioning this; so you know this is bullshit. Everyone except Canyon Rabbit climbs onto the raft and somehow the raft doesn't move at all. Wowzers; this river is so fake. Canyon Rabbit tells them to go with the flow and it's time for the most subdued white water rafting sequence you ever did see, and Daddy Pig really oversells this as the most frightening thing he has ever done. (Mummy Pig at first is terrified, but she gets over it and the kids loved it from the start.) The raft bounces for a while until it hits sand and Peppa of course loved every second of it, just to troll Daddy Pig some more. Daddy Pig is not thrilled as we see a cave and the family enters in. Daddy Pig enters claiming that they might be the first to enter this cav...oh wait, there's Canyon Rabbit's information booth with gift shop and ice cream. Of course! Denizens are inside the area as Canyon Rabbit uses her flashlight to show off cave drawings of the people who used to live there; which I hope the people who lived there gave premission to allow this to happen; since this is creepy otherwise. This is safely the low point of the American trip. They see images of the eagle again as everyone walks out since the tour is over. Canyon Rabbit asks where they are going and Mummy Pig proclaims that they are off to Hollywood to star in a movie with Super Potato and Mr. Hashbrown; and Canyon Rabbit is also a fan of Mr. Hashbrown. For a guy who has zero history on this show; he's popular with the American women audience. Maybe a spin-off show would flesh out these characters a lot more. It's not like Nickelodeon doesn't have a lot of money riding on Peppa Pig anyway. Peppa asks Canyon Rabbit to come, Canyon Rabbit declines. The Pig Family goes back into their motor home and they drive west on the canyon road to Hollywood to end part three at 4:30 approx. Outside of the cave thingie, this was perfectly acceptable cartooning. *** 1/4 (65%).

Hollywood: We conclude this four part special on a tropical version of the same road they were in New York City; as Peppa asks if they are there yet and Daddy Pig doesn't know, so he decides to look at the map...AGAIN! For Peppa sakes, let Peppa read the map! She might actually learn geography for a change. So, instead of Daddy Pig driving towards the shoulder of the road and stopping to get the map, or letting Mummy Pig get the map and read it for Daddy Pig: Daddy Pig stops IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD and causes a massive bottleneck in traffic. I just love how this prevents everyone in DIFFERENT LANES from progressing...oh wait, here comes the BAD EPISODE POLICE~! It's Miss Rabbit in a police uniform and on a motorcycle. I hope Peppa says "My Daddy's a criminal!" just to make the whole thing complete. Miss Police Rabbit is issuing a ticket to Daddy Pig because he stopped on a freeway that is not considered an emergency and Peppa calls it an emergency because they are going to Hollywood and Daddy Pig is asking for direction. Police Rabbit basically is like "Oh, that's all right then" and gives them directions, including making sure they understand that the stars are on the ground. The Hollywood Walk of Fame, everyone! Daddy Pig is free to go and we head to Hollywood, Califor-IA as we see a cameo of the same guy from the Australian holiday special where he got his windows broken from a boomerang! (That would be Mr. Wallaby, former self.) George finds the sidewalk where the stars are, as they are at the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. Peppa then finally finds Super Potato, totally in character floating around as the photographers surrounding him are taking pictures. Mr. Hashbrown finally jumps in and makes his debut in the flesh and his voice is as square as his body, making Peppa look like a much bigger star than he is. (Also, it makes Hash Brown look like a bigger star than Super Potato is!) Peppa finally walks in with the family as Mummy Pig shows off the ticket and I'm shocked that they didn't do ONE SINGLE ANGLE of that ticket being lost. Seriously! Super Potato and Mr. Hashbrown lead the family into the studio and act like they never met each other despite the fact that in storyline, Super Potato is a real super hero despite being a movie star. They make it on the set; which is the moon theme by the way. Peppa is happy about this as Super Potato calls for the costumes and four adults with headphones in dress up the family in broccoli outfits complete with the "Wah-wah" sound effect. Why? It's called "Vegetables In Space!" and the two leads are anthro veggies, sort of. What did anyone expect?!

Also of note: Mrs. Cat, Mrs. Wolf and Mrs. Fox are clearly dressing them up, so the character designers are running out of ideas for palette swaps at this point. Thankfully, the family stops selling this as Peppa and George are just glad to be there. Seriously, I was glad I was a part of Christmas Daddies in 1982 when I made my only real TV appearance. However, all I had to do was look good and nothing else, because I was five years old and didn't know any better. They are amused by this as they exchange notes and then Super Potato orders them to not talk on the set, while talking on the set! Peppa's eye contact violence told a better story than anything in this movie. As in "you are a hypocrite"! That was great. Super Potato does the start-up sequence for the movie and we jump cut to inside the cockpit of the spaceship where the family, Mr. Hashbrown and Super Potato are sitting. Super Potato cuts his promo while the scene is being attacked by a bunch of carrots which are considered naughty according to the hypocritical superhero. Wink! Wink! Nudge! Nudge! Hashbrown literally talks and shines his teeth to the crowd. (I can buy Hash Brown saving the day with that smile!) Daddy Pig asks what the family is doing in this role and Super Potato tells them that they are the "heat machine" of this outfit. They don't do anything but cheer and pop on everything Super Potato does. (Which is fine since Super Potato being the star and Peppa being the geek is ironic, considering this show has the roles reversed.) Mummy Pig then asks how they will save the day and Super Potato is so stupid that he forgot to write an actual script for his own promos in how to save the day. (Super Potato is our GEEK OF THE WEEK~! But Hash Brown is our DORK OF ALL TIMES~ and I love him as such.) The carrots continues to pelt the spaceship as Super Potato and Mr. Hashbrown declare that universe will be destroyed as Peppa suggests eating the carrots. When Peppa Pig, the five year old, has more sense than you; it's time to retire. Still, there are too many carrots and the universe is doomed...Then a door opens and it's Miss Police Rabbit walking in as all the carrots stop and the space ship lands. Everyone gets out as Miss Police Rabbit informs Mr. Hashbrown that there are some fans waiting to see him. I don't get the appeal of Mr. Hashbrown. He's a square dood with a square voice. Only squares will appeal to him and the Miss Rabbits of America aren't his audience. (Maybe Texas Rabbit since she loves square dances, but that's a figure of speech. And a dance.) Still; in comes the Miss Rabbits of America and they basically love Mr. Hashbrown. (They call him their favorite starch-based character ever. That made me laugh.) This is a total burial of Super Potato and even Super Potato knows it.

Shine teeth are shown by Hashbrown as Super Potato stammers like an idiot when he asks if they want to save the universe from the naughty carrots and it's time to eat up. (Yes, they are using real carrots, why do you ask?!) As I mentioned before; if the Rabbits weren't anthroed, this would piss me off like Peppa feeding legit ducks with bread. At least when Dewey fed the seagulls in Ducktales 2017, Penny looked gravely offended by this. Oh, and look who joins in: the original Miss Rabbit who somehow has made it to Hollywood despite not knowing what America is! Damn, she learned the country faster than I could. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) Super Potato declares that the universe is saved despite doing less than nothing...AND THE ROCK SAYS LESS THAN NOTHING~! Even Mr. Hashbrown showed off his teeth and Peppa and George ate carrots. Everyone pops anyway, because Super Potato is somehow a bigger star than Peppa Pig in America. Or Super Potato somehow has a firearm none of us actually sees. Super Potato defers to Peppa for the idea and Peppa defers the eating to all the Miss Rabbits who are as humble as Canadians. Miss Rabbit puts on the pilot cap and it's home time, which Peppa is not amused by. Everyone says their goodbyes and we head into the sky as the plane Miss Rabbit is flying is headed east; and it might as well be the same sequence as the beginning, only mirrored. George is the only one wearing his broccoli costume and everyone else is wearing cowboy hats. Why? I have no idea. (So they can do the opening sequence, silly!) Miss Rabbit asks if they had a great time and Peppa agrees with that because she thought the entire trip was great. Outside of the cave scene, this was a great trip all things considered. (The best part of the trip was Peppa calling a square dance, Daddy Pig jumping up and down in muddy puddles with a monster truck and Mr. Hashbrown's smile in that order.) The narrator sums up the trip to end the episode at 4:30 approx. If I'm Mr. Hashbrown, I would get as far away from Super Potato and break out as a real star. Superhero movies as the sidekick will only take you so far. This episode was fun and the overall arc was very good, proving that the creators can do a twenty minute mini-movie without losing steam. It helps a lot when you have focus on four different stories with a connection to each one than doing it and running out of material and doing bad finishes like The Golden Boots and Around The World With Peppa . *** 1/2 (70%).

Motorbiking!: Next up is episode #321 and #322 on the animation paper as the episode opens in Grandpa Pig's garden near the shed/ Grandpa Pig, Peppa and George are harvesting raspberries and at least there are three bushes worth of raspberries instead of one bush with one strawberry in Series Six. Suddenly, a brown bird flies in and starts to cause trouble, as usual. I just love how the narrator claims that the bird is merely looking at the raspberries a second before the bird eats one and burps. Trolls, trolls are everywhere in the world of Peppa Pig. Grandpa Pig protests this outrage as the bird flies away because it's cheeky as usual. Everyone loves raspberries. In comes Granny Pig to inform them that she wants to go camping today and Grandpa Pig is not thrilled about that one, because birds are eating his berries. The kids like it, so Grandpa Pig thinks camping in the garden is a wonderful idea. (Sounds reasonable to me.) Granny doesn't want that, she wants to camp somewhere else. Grandpa Pig then points out that their car is at Granddad Dog's garage. I was ranting these episodes out of order (In fact; the two parter is in fact the last episodes I reviewed), so I thought that the car Mr. Stallion was driving was Grandpa Pig's. That would have made me laugh. (Police Car, everyone.) The car is in the shop; so time to bring out the big motorbike of doom as we HIT THE FLASHBACK~! They look like the oldest, crustiest motorcycling biking gang stereotypes you ever saw, just having the time of their lives biking with a guitar on their person for fun. Also funny. They also look the same, minus the color of their hair as we return to reality (no, not really). Grandpa claims that this is a long time ago; but Granny Pig don't care. The family heads into the wood shed and Granny Pig opens the covers to reveal the motorbike which looks like it has never been used once in their lives. Someone is doing a work without winking, I see. There is a side car for Peppa and George to sit in as Grandpa Pig wants to bring the berries; but Granny Pig overrules that. Grandpa Pig decides to come along and bails to insert security measures to protect his berries, while Granny Pig bails to pack stuff for the trip, while Peppa and George decides to watch Grandpa Pig fail...errr...I mean, protect...err...I mean, play in the garden. We see Grandpa Pig putting the berries in a wheelbarrow and putting the wheelbarrow in the shead as Peppa asks if he is planting them in his shed; which is quite a reasonable thing to do actually.

Grandpa Pig claims, that it is sort of. Uh-oh! Trouble. In comes Granny Pig with everything packed in a basket and she's wearing a SWANK motorbike jacket that just makes her look even more goofy than usual. Even more so, Grandpa Pig who comes in with the motorbike. He brings out the safety goggles and helmets. Apparently, Mummy Pig has done a trip when she was young and trolling. (To be honest, even if helmets didn't make it safe; I would still wear them because wearing regular hats with those leather jackets makes the grandparents look like tools.) Everyone puts the goggles on their eyes and sits on the motorbike. Peppa is given the right to point the direction to go, she points east and apparently, she picked the seaside beach because that's where Granny Pig wants to go. So, they go. We get a full drive from the garden onto the boring road, despite a teleport between the garden and the white house on the hill. Wow, even the writers now think the house is an eyesore. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) The music for "Wheels On The Bus" starts so let's do the motorbike edition of this. TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM on the hilly road ensues. Oh, and they stop at Granddad Dog's garage as he is mending Grandpa Pig's car and he's shocked to see Granny Pig has a motorcycle. Shouldn't it be called motorcycling?! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Anyhow; the motorbike needs petro and thus, the gas tank is filled with gas. And the car is mended; but Granny Pig don't care. Grandpa Pig claims that he'll pick it up later and Granny Pig drives away east as everyone says bye. More TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM ensues to waste more time...in a five minute episode no less. We finally make it to the beach and everyone gets out. (By the way, the helmets the kids are wearing are written out by teleport. SUZY SHEEP~?!) The kids all cheer as Granny wants to camp here and Peppa points out that there is no tent present. But wait! Granny and Grandpa call their motorbike special as they pull the bike and the side rider out to reveal an orange tent. Oh, come on now! Also, it has a spot for a garage door as Peppa calls it a magic tent. Of course! Granny Pig points out the features and asks Grandpa Pig if he misses his berries. Grandpa Pig does not because he pulls down the orange garage like door to reveal his patch of raspberries. This causes everyone to do the backsplash laugh to end part one at 4:30. Those cheeky bastards are trying to tell us that this episode is over, but it's only the halfway point here! Fun little episode thus far. *** 1/2 (70%). (Now the next episode is historic due to one character finally getting unexpected character development.)

Sea Treasure: Part two of this ten minute episode opens back at the beach as the family is literally in the tent with no build as the motorbike is back together and here come the seagulls; which I betcha they start eating Grandpa Pig's berries straight away. Geez; this is worse than Slaughter's Privates~! I check the video...Nope; the family comes out and no berries are eaten. Peppa loves camping as we HIT THE FLASHBACK~ of Grandpa Pig remembering camping in the mountains, which is silly since every home in this show is on a steep hill; in the same jungle as Around The World With Peppa, having tea no less (Which shows where Grandpa Pig got his ribbing of Granny and her cosplaying friends from); and even an iceberg. So wait, did these pigs really do that, or were they trying to make a hockey team to counter Sidney Crosby like Suzy Sheep seemed to do in Around The World With Peppa?! (The world does not need to know, since the Pengiuns suck nowadays.) Granny calls it camping anywhere with the comfronts of home. In other words; this is a Switch Motorbike. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... (Those cheeky Nintendo Switch fanboys don't have a sense of humor anymore. I thought that line was funny, former self.) And on cue; the seagulls comes down and eat Grandpa Pig's berries a minute in. (Damn, I'm so good!) Grandpa Pig is pissed and he shoos them away. Maybe keeping them in the shed was a better idea, making you look dumb and making Peppa Pig look smart. See, trouble. (Grandpa Pig is our GEEK OF THE WEEK~!) Granny decides to supervise the kids at the seaside while Grandpa Pig stands guard and it allows them to have Grandpa Pig kill birds without seeing him do so while we watch Peppa and George enjoy themselves. The three pigs head to the shoreline and play "dodge the waves" for a while as George brings in a strand of rope he can give to Grandpa Pig to hang some birds around his berries or something. Damn, my headcanons are starting to be more dark and violent. (Wow, the horror flick people are finally getting to former self's head in a majorly bad way.)

Peppa calls it sea treasure because we have to get the episode name in despite Peppa already doing that in the first five seconds of the episode since the gimmick is Peppa annnouncing the name of the episode in every episode of this series. More dodging waves and this time it's five seashells; which is actually eight. Then it increases to nine as they dodge the waves again, as they only salvaged four seashells. Granny Pig cannot back up in time and she gets quarter wet. The bottom quarter wet. She got more than her feet wet, Peppa, I assure thee. We now get three plastic bottles; just to remind everyone how awful we are as human beings. (Apparently, the anthros on this show are not much better, unless it's the Queen or that stinky Human Pirate we keep seeing on this show. The human pirate doing it might turn it heel yet.) Also a glass bottle containing a note. Of course! You cannot have a sea treasure episode without an alcohol bottle containing a message floating around now, can't we. Granny Pig uncorks the bottle and takes out the message. She reads the message and it is from someone named Little Reggie Rabbit. Now, the message itself isn't special on it's own; it's the fact that it contains Reggie's telephone number. Peppa wants to ring him up to inform him that they found his message and wonders if he is okay. Granny Pig brings out her cellphone and rings up the number. Take one guess who is going to answer the phone. Just guess, it's too shocking! SURPRISE! IT'S OKAY BOOMER~! POW! OUCH! Ummm. As I said before, I ranted these episodes out of order and hitting me in the face when the surprise is accurate is not a good look for you....It's Grampy Rabbit~! That's funny in itself; but when Grampy Rabbit is talking on the phone with Peppa in his boat yard; he claims that Little Reggie Rabbit doesn't exist because...ahem...Little Reggie Rabbit is Grampy Rabbit's full name! (BOOM!) He joins Gigi Gazelle as the only other main character to have a real name and not a title. (Well, until the Rocking Gazelles get first names in Families.) Why is Grampy Rabbit getting all the good stuff now?! Might as well make him a full vampire and get it over with. Oh, and just wait until he rescues Miss Rabbit later on. Is he getting a spin-off series; because he's getting a Kit Cloudkicker-equse push on this show now. (I wish this was true, it isn't sadly. Did I mention how much I love Reggie Rabbit in this show?!)

George amuses me by doing the Kit spot while he holds more stuff than his body weight, although it doesn't weigh more than his own body weight. They inform Reggie that they found his bottle that Reggie threw into the sea when he was a boy. Apparently, Reggie is at least 110 years old at this point. It's rare for human for this long, but it is not impossible. Sadly, rabbits live for 8-12 years though, so this is the human part of anthromorpization taking over. Pigs live for 12-18 years, so same thing basically. (I think Reggie is hyperboling the age there former self, but it's not totally unbelievable.) They don't do this crap anymore because plastic sucks the life out of everything, and I do mean everything. Probably the next cigarette at the rate we are going here. (Glass bottles aren't much better, but with modern technology, there seems to be little need to do this spot anymore.) They picked it up and Reggie wishes them good luck and make something. Reggie kicks the smallest conveniently placed oil barrel in capitivity and Peppa hangs up. We head back to the tent as the seagulls don't care about recycling their spots as Grandpa Pig tries to shoo them; but no dice this time. Granny, Peppa and George all run in with their goodies and Grandpa Pig is impressed; but still needs something to keep the birds away. Granny has an idea; she strings the objects together, along with the plastic bottles and makes a necklace. She then puts it on the X's of the berry patch and this scares the birds away. (Somehow, the narrator has no idea what to call it.) Lots of shaking from the bottle and shells as we jump cut to Grandpa Pig putting the tent into the motorbike. Sadly, they have to tie the wagon of berries to the back of it in order to bring them home. Everyone puts on their goofy motorcycle gear, gets on the bike as we head west on the hilly road and sing the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM to end the episode at 4:30. What is it with Grampy Rabbit in the last two series?! This episode was awesome! (Outside of Grandpa Pig being a geek, this episode deserves a **** 3/4 (95%).)

Monkey Has A Cough: We continue on with episode #323 on the animation paper and open the episode at the little house on the hill. We zoom into the kitchen with Mummy Pig reading Ezza magazine at the table, with Peppa jumping around and shaking the place while wearing the fairy costume. Mummy and Peppa talk for a while. (Peppa is being a loudmouth as usual.) Peppa "threatens" to turn Mummy Pig into a "frog", Mummy Pig cuts the most unconvincing promo you ever heard and the winking just makes it worse. Mummy Pig even does the most unconvincing fake crying ever, it sounds more like Smurfette from the Smurfs. (If you bought Smurfette from Wish. I love Morwenna Banks acting but this attempt at sobbing was worse than Sally Struthers screaming.) The guise of this is that Mummy Pig was playing along and she is signalling this by winking her right eye. This would have worked a lot better if Mummy Pig could actually act. Otherwise this was so fake and the winking is absolutely pointless. (I think this episode is about non-verbal cues. While I approve of this in a vacuum, Peppa Pig as a show is not very good at non-verbal cues when it comes to making memorible moments.) Peppa somehow still falls for it and has to inform Mummy Pig that she is pretending, and she's a lot more convincing than Mummy Pig ever was. (Probably due to being a child actor and doesn't need a lot of acting to convince you that she is a child compared to adults. I have said my piece in "A Bad Reflection On You, Part 2" in TaleSpin about child characters in dramatic roles already.) To Peppa's credit; she blows off Mummy Pig's joke as it was not funny. Mummy Pig don't care anyway, so she lacks self-awareness. We hear a car horn and head outside to reveal a green car pulling up to the house; and it's Mummy Zebra driving and Zoe Zebra with her stuffed monkey doll in tow in the back. It's been a long time since Zoe Zebra has been involved in a major storyline, I don't think she has been used in the last two series in anything of note methinks. (No lies detected.) Peppa comes out and we meet and greet for a while before deciding to go upstairs to Peppa's bedroom. Both head to the bedroom, Peppa grabs the doll and now Monkey has a cough. Oh no, does that mean we have to ring up Doctor Brown Bear AGAIN?! UGH! (Thankfully, no since he's not far away from retirement at this point.) Peppa winks once during this as Zoe protests this outrage because monkey doesn't have a cough, Peppa is trolling her. Well, Peppa is winking; so it's not like we don't know she is trolling anyway.

Zoe then notices Peppa's winking tactics and Peppa finally points out that she's working Zoe. I swear Peppa and company would make excellent pro-wrestlers; they got the work thing down pat. Zoe gets it and in comes George and Peppa gives George the doll and he is now the doctor. HA! Zoe and Peppa cut promos while winking. Now, I was expecting George to cry here in confusion because this would actually be funny; but he doesn't here since Peppa sort of admits the work before George has a chance to react. George puts the doll in the conveniently placed doll bed as they ban him from television until he is better. Then they all laugh, because they love to troll on a hapless doll. (I have seen worse than this on this very show former self.) Head outside and here comes Daddy Pig in the red car, and he parks his car on the steep side of the hill as usual. He jumps out and heads inside after a day of work. Mummy Pig comes into the lobby for the meet and greet. Peppa, George and Zoe run down the steps and the hard camera makes it look like the earth is shaking. Why do they need to do that?! I don't see the point of this. (That's a valid point. This is not professional wrestling where you do this to create more impact in the strikes and moves. This is a pre-school show.) They talk about Monkey some more, complete with winking and Daddy Pig is so confused that he's dumb struck. Daddy asks about the health of their eyes and thankfully, the kids end the nonsense before Daddy Pig can look even dumber...Oh wait... (Daddy Pig as usual is the GEEK OF THE WEEK~!) Daddy Pig then admits that he learned how to talk like a pirate and his pirate routine is actually semi-scary that even the kids are backing up in fear. Despite the fact that Peppa knows how to talk like a pirate since she's friends with Danny Dog, who often cosplays a pirate in his spare time. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) Daddy then claims that he is now a pirate and since he never winks, Mummy Pig thinks Daddy Pig is shooting on her! Peppa of course, knows this is bullshit; but Daddy Pig is coughing and thinks this is him working on her. Sadly, Daddy Pig has a cough, so Zoe declares that he must self-isolate himself with no tele for ten years! HAHA! And you bigots thought self-isolation for FOURTEEN days was unfair?! Sod off, you anti-vax bigots! Mummy Pig has a better method, which is to wiggle ears, jump up and down and quack like a duck; as if that last one didn't give away the quackery well in advance. I didn't see any winking, so it must have been a shoot, am I right?! Nope! (Mummy Pig just winked so rapidly that former self missed it.) It's a work as everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. Okay, this was fun, but the logic was inconsistant here. It's also nice to see flashes of the first series' bite in this episode, too. *** (60%).

Police Car: This episode is #324 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the school house on the hill with the police car parked outside. We zoom into the classroom with Gigi Gazelle clapping her hands as the kids are all jumping and cheering. Damn, they have started bringing back all the really fun stuff from Series One haven't they?! (Nope, not yet former self. I was hoping Panda would tease arresting them for disorderly conduct, but he doesn't.) Absent: Emily Elephant (Even though Edmond Elephant is here), Candy Cat, Wendy Wolf, Molly Mole, Mandy Mouse, The Zebra Twins and Panda Twins. The Panda Twins is interesting since Officer Panda is here along with Officer "I never ticketed an inaminate object I didn't like" Grey Squirrel. (Thus my nickname for Officer "Why Does This Show Hate My Kids?!" Panda.) The kids sit down and Gigi points out that some of the kids are going to spend a day with the police and Freddy asks: "as prisoners?" I died. Keep in mind, Freddy wants to be a police officer when he grows up. Panda nicely blows it off as they will be guests, which is basically protective custody. All right, then. Only two kids get the honor and since Peppa Pig is the star, Freddy Fox gets the second slot, since he wants to be a police officer and this would be perfect for pointers. Freddy's eyes and teeth smile told the story of the whole thing. (He is so excited to be a police officer that he is willing to be a "criminal" for the day.) Everyone walks out and the police officers, one wannabe officer and a troll get into the police car willfully. (I wish I was making up that, but it's true in this case.) Gigi informs them that she will call them when lunchtime arrives and it's a "let's go" onto the boring road. Oh, they are having the JELLY FRUITCAKE OF WIBBLIE-WOBBLIES, which the officers like. (I guess someone didn't want the officers to be Canadian stereotypes anymore.) We drive for a while as Freddy does his siren; but is denied the use of the real siren because it's not an emergency. Then we HIT THE TRAFFIC JAM~! Most of the adults that you often see in the show are there, including Granddad Dog's breakdown truck. (Cameos: Mummy Cat, Mr. Rhino, Doctor Brown Bear, Mummy Elephant, Daddy Wolf and Mummy Sheep.) I mention this because now the siren can be used and Panda drives the car on the grass. Guess what is causing this traffic jam?! Come on, guess; it's too shocking! SURPRISE~! It's OKAY, BOOMER~! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... A broken down car owned by Mr. Stallion. Yeah! Also, another clear boomer in sight. You boomers who punch me in the kisser are dumbasses, let me tell ya! (I deleted most of the line due to changes in the rant format.)

Even funnier; Granddad Dog's breakdown truck is in the middle of the traffic jam and cannot rescue Mr. Stallion. So instead of calling Granddad Dog: Officer Grey Squirrel writes a ticket, sticks it on the windshield, then the police simply push the car on the grass and everyone drives away, including Granddad Dog's breakdown truck. And if you listen closely; you can hear Grandpa Pig laughing all the way to the bank. HAHA! (Also, one of the car is replaced with Mr. Rabbit driving. SUZY SHEEP~?!) Mr. Stallion just stands there saying "bye" and wondering where it all gone wrong. (Why did you give this episode only *** 1/4 former self?!) Grey Squirrel sums this up as Panda's transmitter is calling from the police station. A cat is stuck up a tree, you see. Freddy asks about the siren and Grey Squirrel more than gives it as we see the police car going up and down dodging cars on the boring road; the most excitement it has ever had. (Cameos: Mr. Zebra, Mummy Pony.) Jump cut to a tree with Miss Rabbit, Mr. Pony, Mrs. Elephant, Mummy Sheep and Mr. Labo. The police, the siren and the troll all get out and the officers do their hello promo as Miss Rabbit informs the police that Mr. Cat is stuck up a tree, literally. (Also known as not Daddy Cat.) The police question his motives and Mr. Cat's motive is probably better than most motives on Foresnic Files. Ponder that for a moment. Grey Squirrel is clearly the arrogrant one of the duo as Panda is like "Whhhhhyyyyy?" before he bails to get the ladder. (Squirrels can also climb trees, but not anthromorphic squirrels apparently.) He returns with the ladder and Mr. Cat climbs down without incident. At least this one was done properly, minus the fact that Grey Squirrel wrote a ticket and stuck it on the tree! (Okay, that was funny!) Peppa calls this brilliant and Freddy wants to be a police officer. Then the vibrator goes off on the transmitter and it's Gigi Gazelle because it's time for lunch and jelly is being served, don't care about the sandwiches. (Also, it's 1 PM, so Peppa and Freddy were detained for at least four hours in Peppa Pig time.) Here's how the episode ends: They all get into the car, the kids ask for the siren, Panda approves of this, turns it on and they drive west, INTO TRAFFIC going in the opposite direction and that ends the episode at 4:30. (Cameos: Mummy Mole, Mummy Mouse, Mummy Fox, Mrs. Cow, Mr. Bull, at least three palette swaps of various anthros, Daddy Mole, Daddy Wolf, Doctor Hamster.) This was better than it had any right to be and Grey Squirrel's ticketing is getting dangerously close to littering at this point. (So what former self?! That's the best thing about Officer Grey Squirrel! You are right about this being better than having any right to be, so *** 3/4 (75%).)

Hop, Skip, Jump!: Here is episode #325 on the animation paper as episode opens at the little house on the hill as the back door is already open and out comes Peppa and George running down the hill as the chase is on. (Also, we get some unique background music for this one.) Peppa taunts George as in comes Rebecca on her bicycle. She takes off her helmet and she has her boots on as well as Peppa and George. If you cannot guess the final spot now...you guessed it. The pigs run around the rabbit for a while as Rebecca is confused. Rebecca asks if they can hop and Peppa jumps on both legs; so it isn't hopping, since hopping is jumping on one foot. Okay, good to see the nuance of this show flowing through my veins. No, not really. Peppa starts hopping, George starts hopping and gets it right the first time. (This was after George had that look at the hard camera that reads: "Are you serious?!" That was funny.) In comes Suzy Sheep on her bicycle and she takes off her helmet and has her boots on. The kids exchange notes for a while as Suzy asks if they can skip. If the answer include: "As good as Toadworth"; the answer is a resounding no. Not even Kit Cloudkicker could pull that off and come off as totally believable. The kids try; but it's called funny running according to Suzy; because you see, skipping is hopping on one leg and then other, rinse, lather repeat. Everyone skips as George teases not being able to skip and then skips with ease. There is height, length and quickness in those skips. In comes Pedro F'N Pony on his bicycle and he takes off his helmet and has boots on. The kids exchange notes for a while and it's time for jumping. (Even though Peppa and George were doing that before Rebecca arrived, according to Rebecca. Pedro Pony is clueless.) Which apparently completes the cycle of life and Pedro dares them to do all three at once. The kids sells it like this was the most mindblowing thing ever. Peppa's first attempts lands her sitting on her ass and calls it impossible. It's just doesn't have the panche that Harley Bird had sadly. Everyone tries the "Hop, Skip, Jump" and they screw it up so badly that Pedro is the smartest guy in the room. Of course! Pedro demonstrates the "Hop, Skip, Jump", repeat again. Pedro starts singing as this was awkward. (The dance was awkward, the singing was good from Pedro Pony.) The kids finally get it right this time and their singing was better than Pedro's. The kids find muddy puddles and do their new routine in them, remembering to add sound effects in the process. The kids love it as they do the routine and get their clothes dirty while the narrator says it all to end the episode at 4:30. Just your average muddy puddle love in. *** 1/4 (65%). (Peppa and the children sings the "Hop, Skip, Jump!" song in the end credits, I should note.)

Rescuing Miss Rabbit: We continue on with #326 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the library on the hill as Peppa, George and Daddy Pig enter the library. Cameos: Mr. Stallion, Mrs. Corgi, and Mummy Dog are reading books. (It's also 10:05 AM on the clock in front of the building. There is at least four palette swaps of anthros and the goat waiter just off-camera.) It's okay to wear hats as long as you are quiet. Miss Rabbit is at the counter with her computer and telephone, which is probably the multi-tasking phone. I just love how Peppa gives this stink eye look to Miss Rabbit; as if she's onto her hypocritical ways. I mention this because Miss Rabbit is whisper yelling and it sounds like she's speaking loudly at the same time. Not a good look. Peppa gives the volume promo she deserves as we also see Granny Wolf in a cameo (along with Grandpa Rhino) and then Mr. Bull arrives making slightly "less noise" than Miss Rabbit. HEE HEE! Most of it from his truck as Mr. Bull brings out a ladder and puts it against the wall and climbs up to the roof; because this roof has a defective tile. Man, roofs in this world don't last all that long nowadays and of course he somehow breaks through the roof and there looks like two teeth at most drops onto Miss Rabbit's desk. Why does ANYONE hire Mr. Bull?! He's the master of deconstruction, not reconstruction. Miss Rabbit "shh's" him and Mr. Bull apologizes for being loud; but it's a notapology at best. Miss Rabbit orders him to be quiet which might improve his roofing skills. Or maybe not. Then the BURNOUT PHONE OF DEATH rings and Miss Rabbit answers it because she's still doing her rescuing service. (British work for women is toxic and sexist and this gimmick of Miss Rabbit proves me right.) It's Doctor Hamster claiming that Tiddles the Tortotise has climbed a tree again! You would think she would have understood that turtles can climb trees by now; but of course not. And to think, she's still better as a vet than Mr. Bull is at mending roofs! (Sadly, true.) Miss Rabbit bails stage left telling Peppa to keep it quiet and runs out of the library and literally five seconds later, she's already with Doctor Hamster. Miss Rabbit ponders it over and she has to find a ladder and lo and behold; there is a ladder right at the library. She steals it and bails stage left and in an amazing moment, Mr. Bull actually mends the roof properly. Damn; that made me look really bad. Miss Rabbit places the ladder onto the tree branch, climbs up and climbs down rescuing Tiddles. Miss Rabbit calls it doing her job, because she hates heroism. (She should hate burnout, but doesn't sadly.) Then her cellphone rings and it's Mr. Bull as he is stuck on the roof because his ladder has vanished into thin air. At least it's not his fault this time. Miss Rabbit realizes that she stole the ladder and is on her way. Mr. Bull asks what they would do without Miss Rabbit. Answer: Imagine being in a pandemic without service workers and health professionals and that should more than answer the question. Miss Rabbit runs in and puts the ladder against the wall and climbs up.

Okay, this is stupid because Mr. Bull can climb the ladder without her help. Just leave the ladder there, hold it steady and let Mr. Bull come down. Why bother resucing him?! Answer: Because Miss Rabbit has to be stuck for the plot of this episode to work silly. This is Peppa Pig's version of an idiot plot; only Miss Rabbit is not an idiot. (Nope, she's our GEEK OF THE WEEK~!) Miss Rabbit is on the roof, she lets Mr. Bull climb down the ladder, Mr. Bull realizes that it's his ladder, Miss Rabbit is busted, Mr. Bull kindly is like "FUCK YOU!"; takes the ladder, puts it in his truck, then drives away stage left and Miss Rabbit is now stuck. What a dork?! (Mr. Bull just put Miss Rabbit in her proper place. Also, the clock never moved once during this. Someone should clean that clock methinks.) We head inside the library with Daddy Pig, Peppa and George enjoying a book as we get another Ben & Holly reference in the background, Princess Holly this time around. Daddy Pig starts the story and the BURNOUT PHONE OF DEATH rings, and the pigs are smart enough to let it go through voice mail. It's Miss Rabbit screaming for help. Daddy Pig answers the phone and sadly -- for Miss Rabbit -- Daddy Pig has no aeroplane, no helicopter and no ladder. Miss Rabbit then realizes that she is so screwed that she must do the unthinkable: Call her father. And that's what she does! Now, guess who Miss Rabbit father is?! Come on, guess! It's too shocking! SURPRISE~! IT'S OKAY, BOOMER~! POW! OUCH! Ummmmm...I don't why you punched me, "okay boomer" actually works here. It's...Grampy Rabbit~! WHAT?! Why is Grampy Rabbit getting all the good stuff?! He's gone from comedy geek to being literally the father of Miss Rabbit within three series. It's amazing! (I should note that I reviewed this episode before the two parter earlier in this rant. In other words, this is the first episode featuring Grampy Rabbit as Little Reggie Rabbit, his real biological name!) They talk for a bit as Miss Rabbit demands a ladder and Grampy Rabbit is on his way. We cut to the boring road and it's the most excitement it has ever got as Grampy Rabbit is literally racing for his life in a fire engine. Yes, he did remember to bring the ladder, so knock it off! Then he drives up the hill and crashes into the library and somehow does a lot less damage than Mr. Bull. Mr. Stallion protest this outrage and Grampy Rabbit basically tells him to shut up. I laughed my ass off after all this. Even funnier, Mr. Stallion apologizes, as if this was his fault that he was loud. Peppa informs him that Miss Rabbit is on the roof, and here's how this ends: Grampy Rabbit gets on the ladder and the ladder pushes up and breaks through the roof and Miss Rabbit is saved. Everyone, including Mr. Bull -- the guy who mended the roof earlier on -- cheers on. Daddy Mole makes a cameo here as Mr. Bull just got screwed and he don't care since it was Miss Rabbit's fault for stealing the ladder in the first place. (Danny Dog, Mr. Rhino and Rohan Rhino make cameos as well. ) He can remend the roof and charge her triple for that work! We also discover that Grampy Rabbit is the originator of the "Just doing my job" routine and everyone except the rabbits do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. We have an early contender for best episode of Series Seven right there as Grampy Rabbit is still on fire! ***** (100%).

Peppa's Diary: Next up is episode #327 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the little house on the hill. We zoom into the kitchen at the table with Mummy, Daddy, Peppa and George Pig. Peppa is drawing blue stick figure pigs of herself and George. Daddy Pig likes it and Mummy Pig likes drawing in her diary. Which I would think that privacy would mean not admitting that you do such things, but okay. Peppa asks what a diary is and Mummy Pig calls it a storybook telling your story basically. Mummy Pig opens the drawers (NOT THOSE ONES!) and brings out a green covered diary book with golden trim on the points. Apparently, in this world; dairies are picture books since most diaries are similar to written books. Mummy Pig's days as a child are wake up, play in the garden, sleep, repeat, repeat, repeat. No eating or even pooping. That's kind of sad, actually. (I guess somethings must not go through the filter, if you know what I mean.) Oh wait, there was one day when the circus came to town and it was so big it took up two pages by itself and had more color than any of the other scenes. That was funny, actually. Also, it told a story of Mummy Pig going to the circus seeing all this stuff and drawing it. Peppa is in awe about this as she wants to keep a diary and gets a pink covered diary with daisies on it, because of course! (Which she sleeps with on top of the covers, I should note. A cock also crows.) Peppa proclaims that she is going to record the stuff she does every day. I betcha it's going to be: wake up, play in the garden, sleep, repeat, repeat, repeat. I check the video...George comes out with Mr. Dinesaur and Peppa just blows it off because it's not interesting enough for her diary, no siree. Keep in mind, Peppa always complains that George is a one-trick pig, despite being a clear one-trick pig in this diary thing. Jump cut to Mummy and Daddy Pig making veggie soup again. Peppa walks in and complains about not having anything interesting to put in the diary. (You could have George's dinosaur make a cameo at least, you troll!) Mummy Pig suggests tidying up the room. HAHA! (She's an adult and tidying up is her catchphrase. That's why it was so funny.) Peppa blows that off, so Mummy Pig tells Daddy Pig to bring out the toy basket because we are heading to the garden with it to make their own circus. Yeah, we have to pretend Peppa ringmastering a circus in Series Four never happened. Series Five was a complete reboot. (Okay former self, you lost the plot here: The episodes are self-contained and Peppa wanted a real circus instead of making one. This makes sense actually.) Daddy Pig wears the Dumptruck-equse top hat, Mummy Pig wearing a flower hat and juggles balls for a while.

Peppa just draws what she sees and hears from Daddy Pig while giggling. Daddy Pig juggles four plastic skittles (bowling pins everyone, not candy) with Mummy Pig commentating now. Peppa don't care if it's the same thing; it's just cannon fodder for her diary. (Daddy Pig at least didn't drop them and look like a geek, although they're all clowns by default, in a kind sort of way.) Daddy Pig then brings out a purple hoop and George holds it as Mummy Pig has to jump through a hoop that is way to narrow for her to jump though. Peppa might make it, George probably would make it, but not the adults, no siree. Daddy Pig then does a drumroll, just to make this even more absurd. Mummy Pig goes in head first and somehow makes it through the hoop without incident. Lance Storm would see this and say: "Damn; that was so fake." Peppa don't care, more canon fodder for the diary she would probably say if she wasn't giggling so much. Next up it's Peppa's turn and Peppa goes through the hoop after a drumroll with ease. Then it's George Pig, same thing, except he does one forward roll in the process. Sadly, he needed to do at least a half dozen of them to surpass Kit's record in Bullethead Baloo. (Kit almost killed himself doing that former self when he flopped out of the hammock.) We now get to the real moment, because now it's Daddy Pig's turn. This cannot end well for Daddy Pig. Even Daddy Pig in roundabout terms realizes that he is going to get wrecked after this and there is nothing he can do about it, because that is how he is booked. Daddy Pig puts the hoop around his body to demonstrate that this is dumb and then gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY as he has a great idea. (Daddy claims that the hoop shrunk and got the "wah-wah" sound because we all know it's a lie.) He runs into the house and then after some construction noises (!!!), Daddy Pig comes out riding a unicycle. Why?! Why not?! He rides down the hill at greatneck speed, and panics forgetting that unicycles don't have brakes like Kit's Skyfoil. (If Tanner Johnson is still around, can someone ask why Kit's Air Foil was changed to Sky Foil?!) Despite that, he still manages to slow down the unicycle and slow it down as everyone pops for him. (Daddy Pig also claims that he rode a unicycle before meeting Mummy Pig. I guess he was part of the circus after all.) Somehow, this was much more believable than diving into a swimming pool. (Or Mummy Pig going through that hoop.) Peppa is giddy about all this cannon fodder to put in the diary, calling it the best circus ever; so screw Pedro F'N Pony, again! (Yeah, that circus had amazing "feets", as in Pedro's clown shoes.) It's AFTER HAPPY HOUR, as we head to Peppa's bedroom as Peppa is in bed with her diary, with George in his bed and with the parents looking on. Peppa retells the story of her day through her diary as the circus part is in full color. She declares that she'll do more of this tomorrow as everyone laughs to end the episode at 4:30. This was a really fun episode in spite of the erasure of Series Four and that circus. *** 3/4 (75%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well, we got three really great episodes and zero bad ones this time around. In some respects, the toning down of the cheap elements have really helped make them feel better and more interesting. Grampy Rabbit is getting a push on this show as two of the best episodes involved him in some way and both of them have important character development rarely seen in the show, and on a side character no less. He has a real name now and is Miss Rabbit's father (and probably is Mummy Rabbit's father by proxy); which is amazing to me, considering how character development is not this show's strong suit and the fact that the creator basically rebooted the series after Series Four ended. Police Car was funny because Mrs. Grey Squirrel's ticketing always makes me laugh. The Diner was the best part of the trip to Hollywood because Peppa Pig called the funniest square dance ever and Daddy Pig got into a monster truck with Eddie G's bouncy-bouncy antics. Mr. Hash Brown needs to expand his horizons since his pretty face can only get him so far in the Hollywood world regardless if it is real or Peppa Pig's world. Overall, an excellent set of episodes.

(Final Note: The show is being renewed for 104 episodes until 2027 according to Deadline. I can hear the groans about this, however; considering how much Grampy Rabbit is on fire; I cannot complain about this considering how much pleasure I get reviewing this show in general. Entertainment One is involved. I should also note that the animation company (Astley Baker Davies) that has been working on the series from the start will no longer be involved after 2023 and the animation will be moved to Studio Karrot; who worked on Sarah & Duck. Even though they say that the style, music and talent will remain the same; if there are any changes, it will be subtle since the style has been toned down since Series Four ended anyway. While 485 episodes is huge, it's only roughly 40 hours of airtime; which is roughly 80 half hour episodes combined. Ducktales 1987 still has more airtime. Well, there is the surprise for ye.) So...

Thumbs up for Seaside Treasure, Rescuing Miss Rabbit and The Diner. Thumbs in the middle for the rest, and I'll see you all next time.

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