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Twenty Years Of Muddy Puddles: Peppa Pig Series Seven #2 Rant

Reviewed: 09/26/2021
Additional Commentary/Edited: 09/27/2024

Time For Some Peppa Pig Youtube Poop!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Moving right now with the latest episodes as Peppa plays mini golf, goes to a safari with creepy crawlies, plays with hoops, goes to the park, enters a life boat, tries to win a lucky hamper, makes jelly, bounces on trampolines, helps George potty train and visits her new doctor after Doctor Brown Bear officially retires. Zounds! How do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Playing Golf: Next up is episode #328 on the animation paper as the episode opens at a golf course with Peppa, George and Grandpa Pig, for a nice change of pace. (2024 Gregory Weagle Says: The golf course was the nice change of pace if anyone doesn't get the note.) Grandpa Pig has his bag of golf clubs wheeling down and I betcha we'll see Mrs. Corgi and Mr. Stallion come into view to taunt Grandpa Pig again at some point, because of course! Everyone is wearing white shoes, because of course! Grandpa Pig claims that golf is simple: You take a golf club and hit a golf ball into a golf hole and only in Peppa Pig would the flag pole be literally sticking away from the hole instead of being in said hole. Of course, Grandpa Pig demonstrates in his own way that simple and easy are in fact two different words, because he MISSES this shot. Yeah! Grandpa Pig makes it to the green and uses the putter and MISSES it again! Uh-oh! Grandpa Pig sucks at golf. Thankfully, he hits it a third time, so at worst, he got a par. So, he doesn't suck that badly at golf. We then see a way too stylish golf cart to be on this show as Mr. Stallion and Mrs. Corgi arrive less than a minute in. (And their outfits are FASHION POLICE OF LAW violations if I ever saw them.) Told you all they were coming! (This feud is so much more compelling than Grandpa Pig VS. Granddad Dog in every single way.) Mr. Stallion says eh a lot; so he might be Canadian for all I know. Mrs. Corgi then really shows how much Grandpa Pig sucks at golf by saying that she hopes Grandpa Pig is teaching them properly. Then she swings powerfully and gets a hole in one on the blue flagpole hole, just burying Grandpa Pig's golf skills deep within the earth. Peppa is impressed by this of course. Grandpa sounds jealous when cutting his promo about the hole in one, so he knows he is being ribbed on here. Of course, it's because Grandpa Pig has never hit a hole in one, ever. Mrs. Corgi and Mr. Stallion leave stage left, making sure to gently rib him for his short comings on the way out. We repeat the promo as Peppa calls the golf club a stick, which is not inaccurate. Peppa's first attempt barely goes two feet. George's attempt, despite being ten feet behind Peppa, goes six feet further than Peppa's ball. HAHA! Peppa gives up after two more attempts despite being ten feet away from the hole. (Just wait until the Bowling episode where Peppa Pig knows how to bowl on her first ball, but later on cannot play shuffleboard to save her life.)

Peppa's is so bored that she just gives up and whacks the ball much further than any other shot she hit. As in fifty feet at least. George is still not feeling it either as they notice in the background, a mini golf area with windmills and dinosaur models. Grandpa Pig calls this "kiddie golf"! Okay, I do like British culture and many times, the British pronouncation is way better than the American one, but this is the gaping exception to the rule. This actually legit pissed me off. Peppa points out that they are little children, therefore this is all right. I have played mini golf and depending on the area, it is so much fun and better than ordinary golf. You just putt; which is great since most people can do that without much skill and be good at it. And it also can challenge you in a science sense of how angles work, much more than ordinary golf. It still requires patience though. (A lot of golf in general is patience. Anyone who claims baseball is boring has never did a session of golf, mini or otherwise.) Yeah, this is fun as we head to the mini golf course. Peppa and George take turns playing and it's much more fun and much more interesting than that bogus sport of real golf. Besides, you'll never catch Donald Trump playing mini-golf. And that's a good thing, thank you very much. In comes Corgi and Stallion wondering what is going on and Mrs. Corgi is ribbing Grandpa Pig for playing mini golf and she can go pleasure herself in hell for all I care. Kiddie golf is awesome! Yes, Grandpa Pig blushes when he says yes. Peppa and George offer the two ribbers a chance to play mini golf because she knows better. Well, she knows that mini golf can be played by anyone and it's just the purists who are jealous. Mr. Stallion decides to give it a go and the arrogrance comes back to bite both adults in the ass as Mr. Stallion and Mrs. Corgi screw up their shots and they look dumb. Good. Corgi's shot was only slightly better since it went through the windmill hole. Grandpa Pig looks like he has cold feet; but Peppa assures him that this is not all that different than regular golf and it really isn't all that different. Grandpa Pig sets up his golf ball and hits it. And wouldn't you know it; he hits it so perfectly that he actually hits all the objects perfectly and the ball drops in the hole for the hole in one. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I told you mini golf is awesome! Grandpa Pig's celebration was stiffer than he was. Everyone cheers and then does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. I loved this episode and never let anyone tell you mini golf is just for kids. **** 1/2 (90%).

Creepy Crawly Safari: We continue on with episode #329 on the animation paper, as the episode opens at the school house on the hill as Gigi has her bus on retainer because they are going on a trip to a safari of creepy crawlers. Absent: Emily Elephant, Zoe Zebra, Wendy Wolf, Molly Mole, Richard Rabbit, Edmond Elephant, The Panda Twins, The Zebra Twins as usual, Mandy Mouse, Pedro....oh wait, Pedro is merely late and nearly gets stranded...AGAIN! Pedro arrives via car, much to Gigi's disdain and it wasn't because he was sleepy this time! It's because he wanted to bring a tank containing Steven, his stick insect. Hey, if Peppa can bring Goldie the gold fish to an aqurirum; then Pedro doing this is perfectly acceptable too; am I right?! (Hey, that sounds reasonable to me since we allow emotional-support dogs in places in real life, too. They'll not just for vision impaired improving quality of life anymore.) Gigi is fine with this as long as Pedro is 100% responsible for Stephen's health and well being. (Although it can easily apply to Pedro F'N Pony as well.) Consdering how well Pedro treats Steven, this shouldn't be a factor. Everyone gets in the bus, and Gigi drives the bus down the road as the kids are super animated for this. Jump cut to the safari gate with lots of bugs, bees and insects buzzing about as the bus stops and everyone gets out. Danny Dog asks if there are going to be scary, big bugs and Gigi says no. Gigi then hears a roar and that scares her as we see the return of Mr. Sexist Lion for the first time since Series Five where Gigi got the money shot line of the series about seeing all kinds of animals without a hint of irony nor self-awareness. Yup, he is still a sexist, since he still calls Gigi a wilderbeast and not a gazelle. (Even Mr. Labo has smarten up to his bigotry, even though he is clueless in not eating the profits.) It's her last name for crying out loud! Mr. Lion's brain is so dirty it needs to be washed. (I get that lions eat gazelles, but misspiecing a character is a bigoted move! I'm just saying, show.) Anyhow; welcome to the safari according to Mr. Lion and the kids are in awe of this as Pedro introduces Steven (Stephen in Britian, even though it is pronounced Ste-ven; instead of Step-hen) and it's not in the wild like the other insects. Mr. Lion is charmed by this as everyone gets into the stylized animal safari mini carts and none of them are based on insect colors nor schemes. The first area is a wooded area where you cannot see anything, but you can hear a woodpecker pecking like a pecker. (Ooooo, speaking of someone who needs their brain washed...)

Mr. Lion gives Peppa a magnifying glass and she looks through it to see a ladybird (British for ladybug, although it's really Coccinellidae) on a leaf of a plant. Pedro describes his relationship with Stephen which includes watching Super Potato on the tele together as we are getting a rare glimpse into the life of Pedro and I have seen much sadder characters in this show than him. (Teddy's relationship with Peppa for instance and Teddy's not even a living thingie.) Pedro calls Stephen happy and I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, since reading the insect's non-verbal cues seems to be impossible for me at this point. Jump cut to everyone in the carts as we head to the rocky plains portion of the tour. Suzy wonders who the insect on the tree branch is on the closeup and Mr. Lion calls it a millipede, which is bullshit since it has only 34 legs. Stephen keeps still on six legs and looks like a stick, hence the name, stick insect (although it's really Phasmatodea). Jump cut to them on the carts again as we head to the Grass Savanna (In British, Savannash; no relation to the city in Georgia, United States) which is tall brown grass with few trees as grasshoppers invade the area, which Pedro calls super jumpers. They also come in different colors, one of them is pink. Pedro turns his back for a moment for fun and Stephen is literally written out by teleport! How about that?! (SUZY SHEEP~?!) Pedro claimed that Stephen was immobile. ABSURD! Everyone panics, except for Mr. Lion; who thinks this is for the best because insects just want to be free. (In other words, he insectnapped Stephen! He is the biggest heel in the show now!) So, he's an animal rights activist, in a show where everyone is at least anthroed animals. He still calls Gigi a wilderbeast though and Gigi has to correct him again! Considering that it's heavily implied that Gigi is a vampire or a Juralian alien from Chargeman Ken; she should zap him to death or bite him the neck for this sexism and be done with it. He still will not learn. (Which makes Mr. Lion the biggest heel of the show by default now.) The kids find sticks, don't find Stephen until we cut to the ground with Stephen clearly walking on his own and he jumps into his glass case! Ummm; yeah. It actually giggles and then everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. Well, this was okay; but Mr. Lion needs to go pound sand. ** 1/2 (50%).

Hoops: Next up is episode #330 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the school house on the hill. We go inside with the children all jumping around and being silly. Absent: Richard Rabbit, Molly Mole, Wendy Wolf, Mandy Mouse, The Zebra Twins as usual and the Panda Twins. Gigi is still there in more icy blue clothes that should be allowed by the law, and wearing blue ankle warmers and a headband. There is a box of hula hoops (Probably going to just be called hoops due to trademark issues. I mention this because "hoops" is American slang for basketball. I almost thought this was going to be a basketball episode, before realizing that the show is in Great Britian and not in the USA.) in front of Gigi. Gigi claps her hands and the kids all stop being silly. Basically, they are playing hoops to do exercise as Peppa stands up to say that exercise is good for you. For most people, yes. Although personally, getting your heart pounding to boom, boom, boom might be a sign that you are overdoing it and might cause more harm than good. Just be careful out there, kids. There is such a thing as too much exercise as there is too much eating or even too much water in certain occasions. (In science, we call this in layman's terms "The dose is the poison".) The kids all laugh because Gigi was funny despite not trying to be funny. The kids all take a hoop, all in solid colors. Time to throw the hoops in the air, and if you catch them Gigi don't care. That is exactly what happens here. Pedro's cluelessness is still on full display here as is George for that matter. Gigi then rolls the hoop on the ground and if it falls, you cannot frown. Even Pedro figured this one out. Next one: place the hoops on the ground and hop, skip and jump in them for a while. Shake the camera to simulate an earthquake happening. I'm not surprised that they are experts in this considering how many episodes these kids and adults have been jumping up and down in muddy puddles. I'm more surprised no one on this show is hyper-referencing this to muddy puddles because it makes perfect sense to the show. The children stop after Danny Dog says that he loves jumping in hoops. We come to the real use of hoops: spinning the hoop around your midsection. (This started at 9 AM and it's now 4 PM! They have been practicing for SEVEN hours without stopping for rest or food. This is child abuse.) Of course, all the kids suck at this as the hoops are way too big to get a proper spin since the hoops are made for adult sizes and not children sizes. Rebecca was the closest to getting this right though.

Gigi continues to shame the kids claiming that it takes a lot of practice and cannot be done straight away. (That sounds a little mean there, former self.) The bell rings as it's finally home time; and the homework assignment is to practice their hoop hip shaking. It's 2021, so it's perfectly fine; but put this in 1950's America and there is trouble. (Right-wing bigoted scum ruining fun to sell a blood sucking parasite named God, as usual.) The kids run out of the school to their parent's cars as Peppa and George show off their hoops to Mummy Pig. Mummy Pig calls it lovely as we jump cut to the little house on the hill with the Pig family reuniting and Peppa showing Daddy Pig their hoops. Peppa then trolls on Gigi by cutting her heartbeat promo; and I know it's a troll move because Peppa hesistates before saying "boom, bang, boom"! Peppa's getting much better at this stuff. (She's being much more subtle than she used to be and it's funnier as a result.) Peppa has a purple hoop and George has a yellow hoop. The kids throw them up into the air and Daddy Pig easily catches them. (By the way, Peppa is yelling "hoopla". In America, it's a word for "excitement for an event that is unnecessary fuss. In Britian, it's a game featuring rings thrown from behind a line in an attempt to encircle one of several prizes. I'm surprised this game wasn't the payoff to this episode, that would have been money!) The kids roll the hoops down the hill, but they go so fast that when they make it to the bottom of the hill they roll and flatten themselves. Then the kids and adult jump in and out of the hoops with ease as Daddy Pig is winded and probably blown up...AGAIN! Daddy Pig repeat the promo Peppa cut. Then the kids try to spin the hoop and they spin it way too hard this time. Mummy Pig wants a go and Peppa trolls on her that she shouldn't be sad if she cannot do this. Mummy Pig then spins the hoop properly and no one should be surprised considering that she was the best strongperson in the Funfair. Peppa tries again and she spins it less hard than last time, but the hoop is spun way too hard still. Peppa is not liking this at all as Daddy Pig runs into the house, telling everyone not to move like a robber, and returning with the pink tape recorder of doom. By the way; when Daddy Pig plays the tape player, it's already on a musical song about how to spin a hoop properly. How convenient, eh?! (SUZY SHEEP~?!) Of course, the kids spin their hoops properly as the song plays, so thank Daddy Pig for being clever this time. The narrator says it all to end the episode at 4:30. This was just a decent episode with a good ending for Daddy Pig. ** 3/4 (55%).

The Park: Time for episode #331 on the animation paper as the episode opens on a boring pathway...Oh wait, there are cherry blossoms on the trees, so it's not boring. The Pig family is wearing their boots, so you know they are telegraphing the finish well in advance here. Peppa and George are wearing helmets and are on their scooters as they are at the park this time around. Daddy Pig loves going to the park and asks what they should do first. Mummy Pig proclaims that they should go to the little bridge and talk to the ducks. I hope it's just conversation and not feeding time because then these pigs wouldn't have learned their lesson about what happened to them after Mrs. Duck went on a rampage in The Golden Boots! (Well, there is that one episode of Peppa Pig Tales where no one learned their lesson.) Jump cut to the little bridge with Zoe Zebra and Mummy Zebra who appear to be looking at the river, but the scene is staged so poorly makes it look like they are looking to the eastern path instead of directly at the river. Sometimes, that art style can work against you. (Yup, but at least their muddy puddle make splashes, unlike Horzion: Zero Dawn.) Peppa and George meet and greet Zoe on the bridge from behind. To be fair, the two zebra anthros are blocking the bridge with their backs; what can you do?! Peppa and George do a better job with the prespective thing as the camera zooms out because the ducks are missing. Uh-oh! The ducks knew Peppa was coming and don't want to be fed anymore, so they flew the river coup. Mrs. Zebra calls them out and Mrs. Duck comes out. I love the continuity from Golden Boots as Mrs. Duck is clearly white now, instead of yellow. (Sadly, they couldn't keep this straight between now and Series Five, so I'm guessing the production order was screwed up.) The duckling come out with Mrs. Duck and we get a lot of quacking noises from all sides for a while as the narrator sums this all up in a neat little package. Lots of talking while saying just one word that means anything. Next up is the bouncy tree, which looks legit dangerous; but that is what Danny Dog loves to do. Mummy Dog Dog has Danny Dog's bicycle on retainer just in case Danny has to eat his own bones. Peppa greets Danny as she gets on the tree branch, ready, steady, BOUNCE~! Mummy Pig helps George up and keeps him steady because the narrator points out that George cannot bounce on the branch on his own. (That's fine and she can watch Danny and Peppa carefully as well.) More bouncing makes Gregory Weagle something something as Danny bounces down and goes to his bicycle and bikes away stage right with his mother in tow. (George still has his tricycle in a different color, so he's not riding on a scooter today.)

Peppa waves goodbye as next up is the hopping logs, which are just tree stumps of various heights. (Could be worse, I guess.) Suzy Sheep is hopping with her mother watching from behind. Suzy and Peppa meet and greet; I was half expecting them to do their secret handshake promo while on the logs; but it doesn't happen sadly. Suzy shows that she has good balance and jumping skills. I betcha Peppa tries and fails to have good balance and jumping skills. I check the video...and her skills weren't as good as Suzy's but she didn't fail this time. Everyone cheers as George wants a go, and I'll be shocked if he gets past the first stump here. I check the video...Damn; I'm good as Daddy Pig has to put him on the tree stump as George realizes that he cannot jump at all, so he bawls his eyes out! I believe that is the first time he has done that in Series Seven after 15 episodes of crying free action. Daddy Pig grabs him and they cosplay the routine and everyone is happy. Okay, then. (I would have helped him on the wider sections and then let him guide himself through the narrower ones. It's fine otherwise.) Peppa basically sums this up for us as it's time for the monkey bars with Candy Cat and Pedro F'N Pony. Both of them cannot swing across to save their lives and they drop on their asses onto the ground. Daddy Pig runs in and does a good job of swinging for someone who literally has less than one inch off the ground. Har har! Pedro blows him off for that as Mummy Pig calls him cheeky and Peppa calls him a cheeky monkey. HAHA! That was funny, actually. (Daddy Pig is our GEEK OF THE WEEK~!) In a "Jungle Gym", it's called a "Climbing Frame" in Britian and only the monkey bars are part of it. (I realize the narrator calls it monkey bar, but climbing frame is a much better term here.) Peppa tries the monkey bars and drops on her ass in failure; just so Peppa can declare that it's impossible. George wants an attempt; but Peppa blows him off for being too little. If you recall, George tried to go on the monkey bars and bawled his eyes out because he was too little to do it. (Nice little clapback, show. Doctor Pony has shown up as well.) Daddy Pig helps George up on the monkey bars, and George makes it to the other side in reverse as everyone cheers. There is some character development in this show for George, but there will be more in a future episode. (Sadly, he is written out by teleport. SUZY SHEEP~?!) Then, there is one more thing left to do and if you cannot guess the final spot now, you have no business reading this rant. Yes, it's time to jump up and down in muddy puddles and do the earthquake riutal! DING! Come on, now! Mummy Pig practically gave away the secret right there with her boots. The kids all do the earthquake ritual, the adults all do the backsplash laugh and the ducks join in with the kids to end the episode at 4:30. (Mrs. Duck's jumping is so bad, the little ducks outclass her in every way.) Daddy Pig and George are really feeling it now. Fun episode and not much else. *** 1/4 (65%).

The Life Boat: This is #332 on the animation paper as the episode opens as the docks with Captain Dog driving a car with Peppa and Danny Dog in the back. Uh-oh! Is Captain Dog finally going to break the stips?! For the first time readers out there: Captain Dog returned in Series Four and stated that he would never sail the seas ever again. Unless it was the emergency purposes (as per The Golden Boots). Captain Dog had been retired from his adventures forever; coming home to his beloved Mummy Dog and Danny Dog, his son. The answer: Not really as Captain Dog is taking them to see Grampy Rabbit, who is apparently mending, the Life Boat. There is life on this boat, but no love for this boat if you catch my drift here. (Trademark issues prevent such a thing former self.) Grampy Rabbit pops out of the boat and meets and greets the kids. After some exchanging of notes; they all get on the Life Boat to exchange more notes. The Life Boat is there to rescue people from trouble at sea, duh! Grampy Rabbit then proclaims that a lot of sailor forget the basic rules, which Captain Dog goes over, like checking the weather, because it's sunny today. 2:1 odds Captain Dog breaks more than the stips on this show and needs to be rescued, because it's Grampy Rabbit who is getting a mega-push on this show. Don't know why, Captain Dog is younger than Grampy Rabbit anyway. Grampy Rabbit is super over though, so why am I complaining, again?! (HEE! HEE! Former self just remembered.) Peppa wants to know how this rescuing works, so Grampy Rabbit shows off ringing the damn bell on the Life Boat. Then we pull the damn lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!); oh wait, he doesn't. Because it's not a real rescue, you see; so Grampy Rabbit has to cosplay it. HAHA! Danny wants to real pull that damn lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!); but Grampy Rabbit overrules that one. HAHA! Captain Dog is thankful for the lecture, although calling it that is probably a felonous insult to Grampy Rabbit. Captain Dog and the kids go back to the car and we head west on the boring road as Captain Dog talks about sailing while Danny reminds him of THE STIPS~! HAHA! Never grows old for me. It also helps when they don't overdo it either. (They play the sad theme song for this scene just to make Captain Dog's promo sound even sadder than it should be.)

This was the one problem with the early Series' of Peppa Pig: They had funny spots, but they overdid them to the point of us hating them because the little ones never understood restrain at first and that was their audience. Once the reboot came in Series Five and they removed the problematic spots (like the fat shaming) and reducing the other spots, the spots started to mean something. Also, the creators have done more with developing the characters more so they become more likable and now I actually like reboot Peppa Pig more than the early Peppa Pig because they have managed to make the show less of a spot fest and more of a story-driven show. Captain Dog is overdoing the forever part of the stip though as we jump cut back to Grampy Rabbit. He jumps down and checks the conveniently placed fridge to find it is empty. He wants some cheese, you see. Probably the only rabbit anthro on this show who isn't a carrot lover, which is a nice little character trait he only has. He rings up a wooden vendor who appears to be Madame Cow with lots of cheese on the booth and she's reading a magazine. And for once, it's not Ezza magazine, it's Chezza Magazine. HAHA! Her classic telephone rings as she is in the middle of nowhere on a rock in the middle of the ocean on the zoom out shot. Madame Cow answers the phone after letting it ring about four times and answers it. Grampy Rabbit asks for any cheese, Madame Cow says they have lots of cheese because it's a cheese shop and they both hang up on each other. Grampy Rabbit then panics and jumps onto a wooden boat and sails away, leaving his cell phone behind on one of the dock posts. (Grampy Rabbit's motive for taking the wooden boat was because he panicked that the cheese shop would sell out of cheese. Despite being in the middle of the sea! Reggie Rabbit is our GEEK OF THE WEEK~!) Okay, I was wrong, it's Grampy Rabbit who is the idiot instead of Captain Dog. I didn't think the stips were that important to not break them, I guess. Oh, and he's sailing in a thunder storm like an idiot. I guess the writers saw that I love Grampy Rabbit so much that they want to crush him and bury him deep in the ocean blue. Okay, maybe not. (If that was the case, the writers failed. Reggie Rabbit is still awesome despite him being a total fool.)

Of course, the motor dies on him and he cannot restart the boat as it begins to rain hard on him. Shaking my head in disbelief. Oh, and he realizes he doesn't have his cellphone. Grampy Rabbit literally screams for help because he has the loudest voice in all of the land on this show. HA! Jump cut to the boring road as Danny Dog, Peppa Pig and Captain Dog hear his voice. Somehow. Even when they are burying Grampy Rabbit, he is awesome...oh wait; it's time for that moment again. That moment that I never thought would come back. It's a MUSIC BREAK~! (I'm still keeping these even if they are irrelevent for the additional commentary now that Hasbro doesn't give a damn about unofficial videos for Series older than Seven.) We return as the kids want a rescue in progress as Captain Dog U-turns the car and heads back to the docks. Peppa and Danny somehow get in their lifejackets and get on the boat. (All written in by teleport. SUZY SHEEP~?!) Captain Dog jumps on without a lifejacket (because the show is a hypocrite of course) and then stops because...THE STIPS~! I laughed so hard after that. He still doesn't get the clause in his contract about rescues being the exception to THE STIPS~! Danny points out the exception and Captain Dog changes his mind and we go over the rules. I guess the rule of making sure Grampy Rabbit has his cellphone doesn't apply here. The Life Boat goes down the ramp into the water after the lever pull (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and lots of bell ringing. Yup, no one cares about DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS~!) anymore. The Lift Boat bounces a lot through the waves, and the laws of gravity and physics no longer apply anymore either. They find Grampy Rabbit and Grampy Rabbit jumps onto the Life Boat and that is that. Grampy Rabbit then asks Captain Dog to go to the cheese shop, Captain Dog complies. We head to the cheese shop as Grampy Rabbit and Madame Cow exchanges notes and a slice of cheese. Peppa summarizes the rescue as Grampy Rabbit thanks her for showing a real rescue. Everyone (even Madame Cow for no reason) does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. Great episode and Grampy Rabbit is still on fire, and so is Captain Dog for that matter. **** (80%).

Lucky Hamper: More to come as this is episode #333 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the school house on the hill. (They are using the limbo music from Garden Games here.) We zoom in to see the kids being silly again as Gigi claps her hands to calm them down. Absent: George Pig, Richard Rabbit, Edmond Elephant, Emily Elephant, Wendy Wolf, The Zebra Twins as usual and the Panda Twins. Gigi has a wooden basket in front of her as she asks what it is and Suzy calls it an empty wooden basket thing, and Gigi praises her for answering. Gigi calls it a hamper though as she explains that they are going to fill the basket with food to donate money for a good cause. They never explain what the good cause is, I'm guessing it's money so they can fix the leaky roof again without having the adults get buried with their stupid idea on raising money. This is one pre-emptive strike I don't mind. The kids come up with fruit as Gigi draws and colors a picture on the conveniently placed easel. The rules of engagement are: The adults buy raffle tickets to try to win the hamper, thus called a Lucky Hamper. They are in various colors with the same 21 number on it; thankfully, the logic break is lopped off when Gigi points out that the adults must write their names on the ticket. The kids' task is to get lots of tropical fruit from their fridges for this event as the bell rings. (Danny Dog's excited tail gimmick now extends to Suzy Sheep. She knows she has been the logic breaker of this show for decades now.) The kids all leave with colored raffle tickets and a green deposit container that looks like something you buy title gum from at a local supermarket here in Canada. (No lies detected.) Mummy Pig picks up Peppa and then we jump cut to Mummy Pig parking the car on the steepest side of the hill...AGAIN! Peppa and Mummy Pig both get out as Daddy Pig is waiting for Peppa. Peppa is explaining the situation as she goes in and Daddy Pig is confused almost instantly. Jump cut to inside the kitchen as there are a bowl of green apple on the table. I don't think apples are tropical fruit, Daddy Pig; so you're half off here. (Peppa I believe mispronounced tropical fruit as well since Mummy Pig said it right seconds later.) Even Peppa is blowing off Daddy Pig here because Daddy Pig is dumb. Mummy Pig produces a coconut and Daddy Pig finds some pineapple slices in a can below the sink. Hmmm, that seems to stretch the rules of tropical fruit a tiny little bit, doesn't it?! Gigi didn't say canned fruit is not allowed, so why not?! (It's not as bad as the finish I should note.) Peppa wants Daddy Pig to pay a coin for the Lucky Hamper and Daddy Pig puts a coin into the green container and Daddy writes his name on one of the tickets with blue marker. As this ticket is peeled off, the number 22 is shown which is kind of useless at this point. Then, Mummy Pig decides to put even more coins in the container because Peppa wants Mummy Pig to buy all the tickets. Peppa isn't going through the town to sell tickets. That's too time consuming and we only have three minutes left anyway, making Daddy Pig look even dumber. Why not just buy tickets in equal parts? If one of them wins, the family is sharing the prize anyway. (Daddy Pig is our GEEK OF THE WEEK, but not the HEEL OF THE SHOW as you'll see later on.)

Jump cut back to the school house on the hill as all the kids enter and everyone brought in fresh tropical fruit and a can of pineapple slices. HAHA! (Mandy Mouse also brought in bananas I should note.) Must like putting pineapple on pizza a lot. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmmm... Danny brought in FOUR tins of pineapple slices and a mango, and Molly brought in a real pineapple and canned pineapple slices. HAHA! The next thing is to decorate the lucky hammper with palm trees and other tropical trappings as the kids run to the tables and it's art and crafts time. Peppa makes a palm tree, Mandy is making Polly Parrot, just to remind us how low Polly is sunk since Series One. Gerald makes ocean, Pedro makes a colorful rainbow fish to retain his pride. (Wow, that was actually witty there, former self.) Danny finishes the flourish by making a pirate flag. The lucky hamper is decorated as Gigi ask who is the lucky person to....MUSIC BREAK~!....win the lucky hamper. I give Mummy Pig the advantage since she clearly bought the most tickets. In come the adults as it's time to address the Lucky Hamper and pick out the winner. Now, if the writer book this properly; then Daddy Pig would win because this is a lucky hamper and Daddy Pig lucks out in spite of Mummy Pig having the advantage in the amount of tickets bought. I personally would like the Dog family to win and give Danny Dog that win that he has never gotten since Series One; but I know that isn't happening. Who will win this lucky hamper? (We'll soon find out and it will be a troll move on the audience smart enough to realize how heelish this is on the part of Gigi Gazelle.) Well, Gigi brings out the orange bucket of tickets and shakes them. She begins to close her eyes and then somehow Peppa stops her. Why? Because there is a bunch of yellow tickets there and Gigi decides to pay up and write ticket #42, putting it in the bucket. Gigi Gazelle is going to win her own contest and not even be questioned for it; despite in an earlier episode, Peppa was called out for declaring herself the winner despite being the judge. Gigi should not be legal in this contest because she's the official JUDGE of this contest. Gigi doesn't bother to shake the bucket up as Daddy Pig notices it right away; but no one else cares. Gigi closes her eyes, picks up her ticket and declares herself the winner. WHAT?! Worse, the kids clap for her anyway. WHAT?! Didn't we scold Peppa for basically doing the exact same thing?! This is so stupid. (This episode was doing so well and then they pull of this bullshit finish?! Peppa Pig and Doctor Hamster got called out in earlier episodes for doing stuff like this. Gigi is the HEEL OF THE SHOW~! Fitting for a suspected vampire.) Gigi grabs the hamper and everyone including the adults laugh to end the episode at 4:30. This was a good episode with an awful finish. Gigi can donate money to the cause, but for goodness sake; she should not be allowed to win the hamper! This made Mummy Pig look weak and Gigi look like a cheater. Bad idea! ** 1/2 (50%).

Jelly: Next up is episode #334 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the little house on the hill. We zoom into Mummy's office as Mummy Pig is working on her computer, probably trying to write another awesome book that no one is going to read. Peppa and George walk in and ask if they can play on the computer, but no dice from Mummy Pig. Daddy Pig asks Peppa and George to help him, and the kids sulk before leaving stage left. Daddy and the kids go into the kitchen as the cupboard door is opened and the utensils all fall to the floor in a messy fashion. They clean up the pans for a while before Peppa finds the yellow Jelly mold and wonders what it is. Daddy Pig explains that it's a mould used to create those Jelly cakes you see throughout this series. Daddy Pig has an idea as they can make Jelly for Mummy Pig as a surprise as they all walk out of the house and get into the car parked on the hill; yelling to Mummy that they are popping out to the shops. Mummy Pig is fine with this as we see footage of her working on the computer more and more. (By the way, we don't see them clean up the floor before leaving. SUZY SHEEP~?!) Jump cut to the supermarket on the hill, which has gained a small tree since the last time I saw it; Daddy's car arrives and parks. Daddy Pig and the kids jump out and head inside with their shopping cart. Peppa is skipping as she asks Daddy Pig the stuff needed to make Jelly. Daddy Pig points out the ingredients not to make this and points out the huge section of Jelly boxes on the shelf. (Which those ingredients are on the shelf as well.) Peppa grabs on the boxes and is confused by the lack of wobble in that box. Daddy Pig explains that water is the key to make it wobble and asks for the flavor as George yells "Cheese". Yup, we have a future Grampy Rabbit on our hands here. (Fitting since Grampy Rabbit is a lover of dinoaurs, too.) Daddy Pig doesn't see anything other than strawberry, orange and lemon jelly. What?! No lime jelly?! What kind of ass backwards supermarket is this?! (The same one that turned into LEGO Duplo and became the worst supermarket I have ever seen in a cartoon?!) Peppa picks strawberry flavor as Daddy Pig reminds Peppa that this is for Mummy Pig, so Peppa still picks strawberry like a troll would. Cut to the check out counter with Mrs. Rabbit reading Ezza magazine as Mrs. Rabbit guesses what Peppa and company are making. Because it's all wibbly-wobbly, you see. Jump cut back to the little house on the hill as Daddy Pig's car returns and is parked on the steepest side of the hill...AGAIN! Daddy Pig yells to Mummy Pig that they are home and Mummy Pig is literally typing faster on her keyboard as she responds back. Uh-oh! This is not going to end well for Daddy Pig. (This took one hour at this point.)

Cut to the kitchen as Daddy Pig puts a glass bowl, the jelly mould and the box of jelly onto the table. Daddy Pig takes out the Jelly from the box and I'm laughing because the cubes act like they are wobbly already. No, that is not what jelly mix looks like writers. Just so you would like to know. (While jelly cubes do exist, they are usually not for eating. Jelly is usually a powder mixture and it's not wibbly-wobbly.) Daddy Pig pours hot water from a conveniently out of nowhere modern kettle, while pointing out that this is a grown up job because of course. And they say water is safe. Absurd! (Hot water can burn you former self, so this is for the best.) Daddy Pig then uses a wooden spoon to stir the mixture together as the cubes have melted into jelly juice. Daddy pour the jelly juice into the mold and puts it in the fridge. I should point out that the jelly has turned more orange as this has progressed. Ooops! Someone in coloring forgot to account for the fact that Peppa picked strawberry. Daddy Pig claims that it shouldn't take long -- jelly usually wobbles into a solid overnight --; so he sets a conveniently placed blue alarm and we watch it tick for a while. Ten seconds later, Peppa is already complaining about this taking a long time, so it's time to bring out crayons and a pad to make a sympathy card for here. Peppa draws a picture of the finished Jelly product and it's time for a MUSIC BREAK~! We return as we write the card and of course it starts out good, but after the "Kiss, Kiss!" moment, Peppa tries to make the other side suggest that Mummy Pig share the Jelly with them despite the whole point of the Jelly was to be something to give back to Mummy Pig for all the hard work she does on her computer. (Also, Peppa trolls on Daddy Pig by omitting him and Daddy Pig has to cough in order for Peppa to correct herself.) Narrator then proclaims that the timer has gone "Ping"! I don't why, but that was funny. (It took exactly one hour to turn all wibbly-wobbly. In real life, it's four to five hours. SUZY SHEEP~?!) Daddy Pig opens the fridge and takes out the mould of Jelly. Daddy puts the Jelly onto the conveniently placed plate (a lot of out of nowhere objects in this show actually) and it's done as Peppa goes all wibbly-wobbly on us. Cut back to Mummy Pig going all blahing on us and that's the end of playing on the computer. Mummy Pig turns off her computer and walks out. She heads to the kitchen as they introduce the Jelly, but not the card for Mummy Pig to read, thus rendering the card completely pointless. Peppa basically trolls her in that it's all Mummy Pig's...with some for the rest of the family. Everyone laughs to end the episode at 4:30. Just an average episode and at least Peppa didn't mess with the computer this time, so call it *** (60%). (Peppa even sings the Jelly song that wasn't used in the episode in the end credits!)

Potty Training: We continue on with episode #335 on the animation paper and open the episode at the little house on the hill as we zoom in to Peppa and Suzy having a tea party in the bedroom. (They picked some unique music in the background to play in this scene I should note.) George is playing with Mr. Dinesaur as usual. We cosplay a tea party with Teddy while George is being George...until he starts to blush like crazy. Only it's not really out of just embrassment, but because he's needs to poop. I mean that, too. This is not the first time they did a pooping reference on this show as Baby Alexander grossed out Peppa in an early Series episode. (In fact, this show has shown legit animals pooping and the poop is even shown. I don't understand why legit animals can visually poop; but BS&P has cold feet when it comes to anthros. Anthros and humans still poop! Why do a Potty Training episode if we don't see the poop?! This is why the rating is as it is.) Suzy and Peppa get grossed out instantly. I don't blame them; at least they didn't almost vomit like I did and that was recent. I sometimes cannot control my vomit reflex when bad smells overwhelm me. Especially with pumpkin pulp. It's not the sight of it; it's the smell that gets me. George says poo-poo, so you know it's time to poop as Peppa yells for Mummy Pig as Mummy Pig arrives and it's confirmed at George did in fact poop his shirt pants. Despite the fact that no poop is seen as Mummy Pig brings out the toddler toilet; but it's too late anyway. George is sent to the bathroom with Mummy Pig to clean up. The smell goes with George by the way as the girls continue the tea party as Mummy Pig cleans up George off-screen like nothing had happened. In comes Suzy and Peppa asking why George cannot use the toilet. Answer: George is too little and the toilet is too big; so he has to use the potty toilet since he's potty training. Peppa invokes the EYE CONTACT VIOLENCE OF DEATH to indicate that George sucks at potty training. George doesn't cry on cue this time around as Mummy Pig proclaims that George will get better at it in future. Mummy Pig then tells Peppa off for her teasing of George's potty skills by telling her that she sucked at this at one time. Peppa doesn't believe it for a second. HEE HEE! Even Suzy is denying it, and Mummy Pig chuckles because she caught them in an obvious lie. Peppa now recalls this and puts Teddy on the potty to force the point. Yes, adults had to potty train at some point. The magic word is potty and George giggles as the kids go back into the bedroom to play giants. Which means George has to play victim to make the spots work.

Peppa stalks George and the chases George for a while as George hides behind Suzy while Suzy runs interference. Peppa's eye spots during this are breath taking to me as Suzy is no selling this. George escapes while dropping Mr. Dinesaur and the chase continues for a while. By the way, they hyper-referencing George being clean and fresh during this. (By far the biggest highlight of the show and a Series One clapback as well.) George hides behind the basket of toys as Peppa calls George a cheeky piggy. Just to make the reference more creepy, I found a video on a Roblox game called DinoPiggy. Yeah. Then, George's poop reflex strikes again, complete with the Peppa Pig "Wah-Wah" sound. George says wee-wee; because he has to pee. Daddy Pig runs in, grabs George and puts him on the potty in the bathroom. Somehow; George's pants disappear, so he's nude from the waist down, but nothing else is shown. George is having a good time on the potty; but no urine is shown either. This is the cleanest potty training, ever. Nudity is not unusual in anthro/furry cartoons anyway -- in spite of the characters wearing pants on this show -- so there is no shock there either. Daddy Pig cleans up George and brings him back into the bedroom. Daddy Pig thanks Peppa for shouting, but George must be able to shout the magic word "Potty" in a hellish, angelic voice. Oh wait, it's the segue to a MUSIC BREAK~! We return with the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM about potty training. Lots of knee bending ensues for a while during the show, too. Mummy Pig brings in the potty and George yells "potty" and then the kids all run out of the house and down the hill. They are going to play Piggy In The Middle with the bouncy spotty ball. Man, that brings back memories of the older series; which still air on YTV Treehouse to this very day. (One of the episodes that's available on CBC Gem, too!) Suzy throws the ball away as George chases it stage left. George grabs the ball and then blushes. Then he screams "POTTY~!", like THREE times before Mummy and Daddy Pig run out with the potty down the hill. George sits on the potty and Peppa calls him almost as grown up as her. Everyone except George does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. I give 100:1 odds that Monica Cole from One (Million) Moms will complain about this within the next 12 months and she'll use the refrain "children repeat what they hear" to boot. (Not only did she not complain about this episode at all, I don't think she ever complained about Penny Polar Bear having two Mummies! Monica's bigtory is extremely sus if you know what I mean!) This was the cleanest potty training episode I have ever witnessed. ** 1/2 (50%). (The Potty Song is sang by Peppa in the ending credits, just to flick the bigots even more.)

Trampolines: This episode is #336 on the animation paper and the episode opens on a hill full of trampolines with Miss Rabbit bouncing on one of them as Daddy Pig, Mummy Pig, Mummy Sheep, Peppa Pig, George Pig, Richard Rabbit, Suzy Sheep, and Rebecca Rabbit arrive with their boots on. If you...oh, never mind; you guessed what I mean. Miss Rabbit has no shoes on as the boots must come off because we must always bounce safely. (Job #1901!) Also, bounce in the midde, one person per trampoline at all times and no stunts. (Kit/Kick: That's it! I'm out of here.) Everyone takes off their boot and it's time for everyone to bounce as even Daddy Pig wants to do some bouncing. George and Richard go on the smaller trampolines with a bunch of toddlers I have never seen before. Huh. Suzy, Rebecca and Peppa bounce on the medium sized trampolines for a long while, also including singing the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM. I guess singing is not considered a "clever trick" according to DA RULES (FAIRYGODPARENTS~!) as we zoom out to see nearly every kid from the series thus far doing the same thing. (The kids are Emily Elephant, Gerald Giraffe, Pedro F'N Pony and The Zebra Twins.) Daddy Pig finally takes his boots off and starts bouncing. Damn, he's really good at this, too. Mummy Pig is questioning this bouncing because of Daddy's big tummy, of course. (Mummy Pig doesn't say anything about the tummy, former self. This isn't Series Two anymore.) Daddy claims that he knows what he is doing as Mummy Pig takes her boots off, off-screen of course, and it's more bouncing. Mummy Sheep repeat the spot, which is fine since it's the rules and she wants to join in, too. The narrator says it all as we invoke the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM, with the grownups singing. Listen, it's like the Lambeau Leap: The song is not for adults. It's for the little kids to sing so the kids can sing back. Come on, now! The kids are like "What the hell is this?!" (Okay, that was funny! Wendy Wolf has shown up now.) Mummy Pig is now bouncing well beyond the boundaries of good taste and DA RULES (FAIRYGODPARENTS~!) as Daddy Pig thinks this is bad.

When Daddy Pig thinks you have gone too far on the stupidity scale, you are dumber than he is. This won't be the last time Mummy Pig does something really stupid in this Series, as you will see in mountain climbing later on. Mummy bounces into the clouds that she hits the side, goes forward ass over tea kettle and lands into a tree. We can now add Mr. Fox and Mrs. Wolf to the list of adults cameoing in this episode, too. Oh, and the clever clogs, Edmond is here too. Mummy Pig is stuck and it's all her fault this time around. (Mummy Pig is our GEEK OF THE WEEK~!) Daddy Pig proclaims that they will rescue her and I was waiting with baited breath to hear Suzy Sheep say "Chop the tree down!"; but it doesn't happen. BOO! HISS! Mummy Sheep rings in Miss Rabbit's rescue service before Suzy gets any idea on making me laugh as we cut to the boot saver booth with Miss Rabbit reading a magazine called BOINGY!! HA! That's the first book the women of this show have read that wasn't Ezza Magazine or a rhyme of it like Chezza Magazine. (Too bad it's a magazine based on the theme of this episode.) Miss Rabbit's phone rings and I am over the multiple jobs angle since a number of males also do the exact same thing. It's just a lot less obvious and that's why I should have been mad about it in the first place. (It's impossible to keep the same energy when the company isn't going to listen to you, much less obey you.) It turns out that her cellphone is not ringing; but the out of nowhere rotary telephone! HAHA! Miss Rabbit answers the phone and it's Mummy Sheep demanding that Mummy Pig be rescued. Miss Rabbit is on the way as she hangs up and runs to her rescue helicopter. She gets in and the helicopter rises to the sky. More people gather around the tree as Mr. Zebra and Mrs. Panda join in. (Okay, I think the video footage former self watched was in SD, because the Panda Twins show up here!) Lots of chatter ensues as we get the martial arts zoom in of Mummy Pig admitting to being embarassed by this whole thing and Daddy Pig proclaims that it's the sort of thing that happens to him. (Mummy Pig also blushes with embarrassment here.)

In comes Miss Rabbit with her rescue helicopter, proclaiming that Miss Rabbit will rescue her, but she cannot land on the tree. Now, if you recall the episode with Tiddles (Naughty Tortoise is the one where Miss Rabbit literally buried everyone on screen and everyone who was watching the show at the same time.) that the helicopter has an autopilot and a ladder. All Miss Rabbit would have to do is use them to free Mummy Pig. Nope. Miss Rabbit flies away to the trampolines stage right. Miss Rabbit jumps out of the helicopter, bounces off the trampoline...MUSIC BREAK~!...Peppa is so loving this as Miss Rabbit is flying in the air with the greatest of ease, grabs Mummy Pig from behind, bounces backwards like Miss Rabbit is wanting to do a German Suplex, spinning like both are trying to get vertigo, but really are not. Then they bounce off the trampoline after Miss Rabbit admits that she doesn't know what is going to happen and they land in the open helicopter safe and sound. If you thought Daddy Pig diving into a pool with zero splash whatsoever was fake, that moment in Swimming was far more realistic than what I saw here. I laughed until I cried after seeing that one. The fact that Miss Rabbit claimed that she didn't know where the helicopter was made it even more absurd. (This finish was so beyond the pale stupid, but I laughed my ass off so hard it was worth. This is what I always expect from Peppa Pig that most pre-school shows can't do: Stuff like this.) Miss Rabbit lands the helicopter and Mummy Pig is on terrafirma safely. Mummy Pig thanks Miss Rabbit for her service and Miss Rabbit proclaims that she's just doing her job, just don't bounce so high in future. Peppa Pig bounces on the trampoline to reinforce the point. Mummy Pig will remember that in future, although she won't apply it to mountain climbing training. We zoom out to see everyone playing on the trampoline while laughing to end the episode at 4:30. A lovely episode with an absurd finish that made this episode one of the best of Series Seven. **** 3/4 (95%). Would have gotten full marks if Suzy just said: "Chop the tree down!" (The "Bounce! Bounce! Bounce!" music plays at the end credits.)

Health Check: We continue on with #337 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the little house on the hill with the car ready to go as Mummy Pig and Peppa Pig go to the car. Peppa has Teddy with her and Mummy Pig has a book with the green cross on it; since the Red Cross is rightfully protective with their symbol being misused; especially with all the misinformation about health going around nowadays. The narrator basically states the title of the episode which is fine, because Peppa is literally going to the doctor for a health and welfare check, so it works out well. Mummy Pig gives Peppa the red book after explaining what it is to Peppa upon Peppa's request. I don't know why they would bother showing it when the doctor should have those records, but I guess it is sort of a "control of you own data" kind of thing. Anyhow, Peppa and Mummy head into the car and drive down the hill and jump cut to them going up the head and park on the steepest side of the hill...AGAIN at the doctor's office. Mummy Pig and Peppa get out of the car and go into the office as we see Doctor Brown Bear. Okay, I can accept this because it's a routine checkup and there no chance of actual burnout. Peppa and Dr. Brown Bear meet, greet and exchange notes for a bit as Doctor Brown Bear is not retiring; but he solved the mystery of burn out: Peppa will be seeing Doctor Polar Bear, who is a female doctor with aqua green colors and shoes. Okay, I'm certain the burnout angle was sort of tongue-in-cheek; not that it shouldn't be taken seriously at all, though. (Yup, and in all effectiveness, this would be the last appearance of Doctor Brown Bear in any meaningful way, outside of one Peppa Pig Tales episode!) Hospital bell rings and in comes Peppa to meet Doctor Polar Bear at her table looking at nothing of note. (Doctor Polar Bear's official debut and voiced by Jen Pringle.) Polar Bear adjusts her pen on the desk as we do the meet and greet. Apparently, Teddy is here to see the health check, which is funny because Teddy is a stuffed animal and I fear that it'll be seeing more health checks it's not allowed to see. Peppa losing the teddy bear, everyone. Peppa gives Polar Bear the red book and we begin the health check in earnest. Check #1: Height. Peppa says she's a big girl now, cutting a Toys'R'Us promo in the process. (Sadly, only 1990's kids like me will get that reference and the rest would be appalled by it for various reasons.)

By the way, the height stick is at least two inches above Peppa's ears. I question her height now. Polar Bear writes the height and check #2 is weight with shoes on, which is silly since the shoes can weigh up to two pounds depending on the size of the shoe. (So, you are saying that this doctor is sus, former self?! I would not throw that accusation to a doctor and especially one whose life partner got Peppa Pig in hot water that shouldn't have got them in hot water. More on that later in this Series.) Polar Bear writes the weight and it's check #3: Heart check. Polar Bear does it and then Peppa checks it herself with the sethoscope. Yeah. Peppa claims that the heartbeat is going "Bumpy-Dump" with the sound effects not matching up with Peppa's sounds. Peppa then checks Teddy's "heart" and Peppa says it does nothing because it's a doll. HA! (I betcha Peppa tore it's heart out and that was it's brain.) Polar Bear was selling it as if the doll had a heart. Of course! Check #4: Ear check with the mirror torch light. Somehow, this tickles Peppa for some odd reason. Check #5: Tongue check, but not "tongue-in-cheek", because we are being serious for a minute. (Lance Storm probably cringed if he saw this. Probably didn't see it, so lucky former self.) Polar Bear checks off the stuff as Peppa asks about checking her nose and then snorts loudly because this is what this episode needs: More windbags! (Former self has been waiting for this since the salad days of Darkwing Dark and Gusto Gummi!) Peppa's getting to almost Daddy Pig levels of pushback with that snort. Check #6: Fitness as Polar Bear wants her to jump up and down. Peppa does so and apparently, she looks totally blown up at this point. Geez, that nose check did some sapping of Peppa's strength there. Peppa flaps her arms and Polar Bear is fine with this in spite of Peppa looking blown up. (Yup, Peppa Pig overdid this spot. Years of puddle jumping will do that to ya.) Check #7: Fruits and vegatables. Sadly; she doesn't ask if she eats five or even seven, just to remind us that Edmond's promo was correct all along and the writers don't realize the joke is still funny. Again, in British English; you are allowed to say the word "and over and over and over" again. Peppa reveals the fruits, but she white lies on the broccoli like Teddy Ruxpin lies on Grubby's Root Stew. (Former self is never going to let Teddy Ruxpin live that messaging of the truth down. Even more so since Teddy loves root beer. Not Peppa's Teddy, nor Teddy TaleSpin who is probably exploding in brain and body after seeing Families!)

Polar Bear buys it anyway and checks Peppa down as Peppa loves pasta, which the noodles are grains anyway; despite Mummy Pig pointing out that it's not a veggie. It's a plant food, though; so we're fine. (Doctor Polar Bear also likes pasta, like I do. Put a pin in that because there is a payoff to this that made history.) Now, I realize that the next check (#8) is a great moment for any series and I'm glad that Mummy Pig is pro-vax here. However, I wasn't expecting the doctor in this series to even mention vaccines in a pre-school show. This needs to be done in children's shows and all animation for that matter, especially with doctors involved now with the global situation continuing to rear it's ugly head for years to come. Great moment for the series. (In a way, yes. However, there is more to the story and this changes my entire thoughts on the episode. I'll explain it at the end of the episode review.) The health check is officially over and Peppa is offered a sticker. Peppa is happy as she picks the...MUSIC BREAK~! yellow smiley face sticker to wear on her chest. Doctor Polar Bear asks Muimmy Pig if she has any questions and Mummy Pig cannot think of any. Peppa decides to ask the questions around here and seeing her eye contact violence look; Peppa is clearly trolling Doctor Polar Bear so she can break Doctor Polar Bear into her antics. (Of course she is. It's because Peppa is the star and everyone else is a geek!) Oh, and also to see if Doctor Polar Bear is a hypocrite, which is not a refutation. Funny, most times of hypocrisy; it's an observation, not a refutation. She nicely blows off Peppa basically using the same promo Kit used on Don Karnage in The Lost Cargo Of Kit Cloudkicker, Ducktales 2017. ("Hey, I'm perfectly proportionate for a bear my size!") Doctor Polar Bear passes the test in the same manner as Peppa Pig. Only it's two questions because of time constraints, and she gets an orange star happy face sticker. Yeah! Peppa trolls on Teddy for eating broccoli and Mummy Pig as well, so they get stickers as well. (Lot of gaslighting by the troll today, I see.) Doctor Polar Bear gives Peppa her red book back all up to date as she asks Peppa about how the session went and Peppa loved it of course. Everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. Ironically, the funniest ones are the ones which don't have a funny punchline because the backsplash laugh is often the punchline. Better episode than I was expecting, due to the vaccines thingie. *** 1/4 (65%).

(WARNING! WARNING! ANGRY RANT COMMENCING~!

Okay, I'm going to reveal why I think this episode was a coward at the end of the day for deciding to just have Mummy Pig talk about updating the vaccination timeline for Peppa. While mentioning it in itself is great and all, it ignores one major moment for this brand: Peppa Pig has merch! Peppa Pig, like a lot of cartoons and shows that get over have hard cover storybooks. I have reviewed many TaleSpin books, although not all of them as some of them I cannot find at the moment and this includes comic books. I don't think Peppa Pig has comic books yet. Now, most storybooks in big kids cartoons are for toddlers and pre-schoolers, so you expect some censorship and toning down in the books in order to meet that standard. Although sometimes a few things that wouldn't be allowed can slip through the cracks in dialogue form, but not in visual form. Peppa Pig is a show for pre-schoolers, so this toning down rarely happens. However, in this case; the exact opposite happened. The storybook contained a major angle that wasn't allowed in the television series. The key is in the name of the storybook. Guess what the title of the book is?! It's called: Peppa Gets A Vaccination! I'm not kidding. My first thought seeing that was "No. No, they are not doing this!". The major change in the story is that instead of Mummy Pig talking about updating Peppa's vaccinations, Peppa Pig gets vaccinated. For real. With a vaccine, needle, the whole fucking nine yards! To be honest, I first realized this when anti-vaxx bigots were complaining about Health Check and they mentioned the storybook. Holy shit, I was pissed off. Not at the bigots, since this was par for the course. I was pissed of AT THIS FUCKING SHOW~! This was absolute cowardice on the creator's part. You can argue that showing Peppa getting the needle was too violent to show on a pre-school show. That would have been fine if I didn't see Elmo from Sesame Street legit get the vaccine on-screen on television, which the target audience is similar to Peppa Pig, even if that show can crossover into big kids land when it needs to. I was so angry because when I wrote the review the first time, it was in a vacuum. In a vacuum, this was good. This is not a vacuum. This was a horrible decision made by the creators, especially when it was allowed in a storybook, where the BS&P is even tighter than television. Not only that: If it was Doctor Brown Bear doing the health check, this probably wouldn't get the heat Doctor Polar Bear would get -- outside of the anti-vaxx -- because later on, we find out that she is a mother to Penny Polar Bear, who has another mummy named Mummy Polar Bear, debuting the first same sex couple in Peppa Pig. I don't know if it's the first in pre-school show history, but this lead to outrage that it didn't deserve and it makes Health Check's decision even more cowardly in hindsight. They might as well have shown Peppa getting the jab like Elmo and be done with. The bigots are bigots and they can go pound sand. They are bloodlusting vampires anyway. The rating stays as is, but this would have been ***** maybe 18*, if they just gave Peppa a vaccination like the storybook told me so.

RANT OVER~! )

One Final Note: The credits are indicating that Mabel Green is going to be voicing Penny Polar Bear, so I'm suspecting Penny is the next new student at Playgroup; which is no surprise since Doctor Polar Bear has made an appearance here. Penny Polar Bear will debut later, but not at Playgroup until Undersea Party.

THE REVIEW LINE

Well, this was mostly an average set of shorts this time around. Potty Training was merely okay, it was way too clean to be taken seriously and slight nudity isn't exactly going to make it shocking either. Lucky Hamper would have scored higher if it wasn't for a stupid ending that should have been changed to Daddy Pig winning in a lucky break instead of contradicting their scolding of Peppa Pig being a judge in an earlier episode when Gigi won the hamper. The only other episode of note is The Life Boat, the best episode of this set, mostly due to Reggie Rabbit and Captain Dog being themselves, which always makes me laugh, particually when the stipulations of retirement are involved with Captain Dog. Playing Golf was great mostly for the mini golf spots and the ribbing by Stallion and Corgi . Trampoline was one of the best episodes of Series Seven and would be a Series Seven best episode had Suzy Sheep simply said: "Chop the tree down". It was dying to be used and it's not like Suzy Sheep wasn't there, either. Overall, a good series of episode. However, the biggest moment was Health Check as it was the beginning of the bigots shitting on this show, the ones who thought Peppa Pig was merely a rude troll, but discovering that they were pro-vaccine and pro-LGBT+, and to them, the spawn of Satan. Or something. Which was hilarious considering my tirade on this very episode and how I hated the cowardice of them considering the storybook of this very episode being much more direct so to speak. So...

Thumbs up for The Life Boat, Trampolines, and Playing Golf. Thumbs in the middle for the rest, and I'll see you all next time.

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