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Twenty Years Of Muddy Puddles: Peppa Pig Series Eight #3 Rant

Reviewed: 12/18/2024

A Wedding Made For A Movie Night!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Time to resume Peppa Pig as this is officially the eighth series in the last twenty years or so. YAY! Or maybe not! Anyhow, this lineup includes a three part arc where Mr. Bull is getting married to Mrs. Cow! Then from there, it's the debut of the Party Bus, then Alexander Pig grows up a little, Pedro and Penny have a glasses feud, Igloos are made and the two mummies rise up again, some wildflower woods, some days at the art house and then it's movie night at Penny Polar Bear's house, which means more two mummies action! YAY! How do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Phil Hall with select episodes done by Matilda Tristam, Maris P. and Jen Upton. I currently have zero information on Maris P. Animation is done by Karrot Animation.

What Babies Do: This episode is #392 on the animation paper and the episode opens on a boring road heading west as the Pig family is in the car with George carrying Mr. Dinesaur with him and Peppa carrying a clone doll of Calliou. Oh, how I love to see these two in a feud, it would be glorious. They are going to Cousin Chole's house which makes me HAPPY~! If you recall from my ranting of Peppa Pig Tales: The start of the series implied to me at the time that Auntie and Uncle Pig no longer had custody of the children, that something was terribly wrong with the family because the first episode had the Pig family taking care of Baby Alexander as an amusement park with no sign of Uncle Pig, Auntie Pig nor Cousin Chole. I was disturbed! This angle absolutely wrecked me for months until I saw Auntie Pig with Baby Alexander in Baby Bumps, and thus confirming that the family was indeed okay and nothing bad had happened. I was so relieved by this. Sadly, Cousin Chole hasn't made an appearance on Peppa Pig Tales...yet. Thankfully, she returns to the mainline series since the "Buttercups, Daisies & Dandelions" episode (the one where buttercups light up and show that you like butter), and she's having her birthday soon. Not only that, the entire cousin family is going to also appear in the Thanksgiving episode on the mainline and guess who appears for the first time ever?! I'm going to keep that under wraps for now because it is mind blowing to me. Anyhow, Peppa proclaims that she is an expert at playing with Baby Alexander because got training with a dolly who can cry when touched, laugh when upside down and lay down on the side when she sleeps. That's not how it works, Peppa. That's not how any of this works even in this storyline. Peppa is about to get roasted like Kit getting roasted by Molly Cunningham, only it's much funnier when Kit gets roasted by Molly. Mummy Pig is driving and telling her that Baby Alexander is not a toy and Peppa Pig acts like she don't care. Of course she doesn't, she accuses George of being a baby like the troll that she is. George flat out blows her off for that one. They arrive at the apple tree house on the hill as everyone gets out.

Cousin Chole comes out first for the meet and greet and then out comes Auntie Pig and Uncle Pig with Baby Alexander, who is not quite a toddler yet like Zuzu and Zaza Zebra, but has progressed more than Rosie and Robbie Rabbit. If there is one thing I like about modern Peppa Pig is the nuances have gotten better since Series Five started. Peppa addresses Baby Alexander first name as Baby, which annoys me because Baby is the toddler's title. His first name is Alexander and his last name is Pig. Cousin Chole's first name is Chole and her last name is Pig. Making Cousin Chole one of the few characters whom is not a baby nor toddler who's first and last name starts with a different letter. I think she's the oldest character to pull this off that the name is not a title. Enough of my annoyance, we head inside as Alexander is put in a baby seat with a seatbelt. Despite the progress, Alexander still has to play with baby toys. Of course, the gimmick of Alexander is that he loves noise pollution. Kind of like MAGATs as I mentioned previously in earlier episodes. I mention this because the first toy squeaks and rings bell. The design is way too good to be on this show. Alexander also likes to rock as I discover that the chair is called a rocker. George plays peek-a-boo and the spot is clearly screwed up as Chole states that Alexander likes it. Word. Sadly, they cannot do the "you can't see me" spot because that is a WWE trademark. Auntie Pig proclaims that Alexander likes putting things in his mouth, which is sort of true because he seems to close his mouth when someone tries to feed him. Alexander is literally teething the Calliou dolly. Now, in the television series: Calliou did pinch a small child on the cheek (although to be fair, that small child also tried to tickle Calliou one time); but in the original story books, Calliou bit that child. That is assault. Alexander teething the dolly is not a good look, but it's a doll and not a anthro, so it's not assault. However, correction is still needed since you don't want Alexander to bite Peppa for instance because that would be assault. Peppa protests this outrage complete with "wah-wah" sound which Auntie Pig don't care because it's just teething. Okay, why not just teeth a pillow?! I just checked Google and yes, there are such things as teething pillows for babies and for cats as I have discovered.

Mummy Pig explains that teething helps babies strengthen their teeth. Incorrect. It's done to strengthen their jaw bones. Strong jaw bones help in chewing food. The teeth are the blades, the jaw is the handle of the knife so to speak. Peppa shows off her teeth, Alexander is amused because he's a baby. Brain development takes time as they say. George shows off his teeth and Peppa just trolls him again, causing George to blow her off and stomp his foot. I don't blame him, this misaging stuff is getting absurd. Uncle Pig corrects her as George runs around Alexander's rocker as proof that he is not a baby. Hey, the science checks out! However, Alexander can crawl as Auntie Pig calls it exciting. Peppa says it in a nice way that Auntie Pig is full of bullshit. Sod off, you troll! Auntie Pig takes Alexander out of the rocker and places him on the floor. Alexander crawls. This is how I probably crawled when I was a baby: perfect form, good extension on the leg and arm motions, nice pacing, a little giggle at random point. Sadly, I was the first child instead of the third child so I wasn't pissing off my sibbings like Alexander is doing to Peppa here. I love it! Cousin Chole claims that he's still learning and that's why his distance is limited. Fair point there as Alexander sort of faceplants on the floor and blushes. He dumped in his clothes, I bet. We won't see any brown color either even though legit animals are allowed to poop. Auntie Pig says it all within BS&P rules while nudging Uncle Pig to pick up the baby. Uncle Pig is handling this a lot better than Peppa Pig is I should note. Uncle Pig sniffs the ass of Alexander and it smells like shit. He acts like this is great and bails with Alexander for cleanup. Auntie Pig asks if they want a cookie and all of them agree to that. Jump cut to the entire Pig family at the kitchen table in the kitchen eating cookies and the adults are drinking tea. Here's a weird SUZY SHEEP~ moment: There are two cookies remaining, which I guess Uncle Pig has one, but Alexander cannot have a cookie because his teeth aren't ready to chomp on them yet. Also, there are three cups of tea, and three adults in the scene. So, Uncle Pig doesn't like tea?! Huge, if true. It's also 4 PM on the clock when this happens.

Everyone exchanges notes for a while as Peppa doesn't think this is hard, but Daddy Pig retorts that one. When a man retorts that babies are hard to deal with, believe him. Only bigots would claim that babies are easy. Peppa needs this correction right away for her own sake and the correction is not working. Uncle Pig returns with Alexander during this scene all cleaned up. Peppa taunts Alexander with toys and peek a boo spots and finally Alexander has had enough of Peppa's trolling his family and bawls his eyes out. Normally, I would leave it at that. However, listen to the cry. It's the exact same cry as George Pig's cry. Excellent! I'm glad they changed it after that horrible siren cry that made me think an emergency was in progress. If BS&P told them to change this, good for them! This cry sounds so much better with Alexander when he doesn't calm down quickly. Auntie Pig thinks Alexander is tired and Daddy Pig claims that everyone gets grumpy sometimes. This is the same Daddy Pig who denies being grumpy while clearly being grumpy. Even when he's not doing anything dumb, even when he says something in a vacuum is a perfectly fine statement, he has to be the GEEK OF THE WEEK~! Uncle Pig bails outside and brings out the stroller and assembles it. He puts Alexander in it and they stroll down the hill with everyone following them. Alexander literally calms down within five seconds and falls asleep. Hey, he's progressing pretty well all things considered. A reminder: This cousin family loves noise as well. Peppa impress me by walking sideways and backwards at the same time and not fall down once. Narrator whisper talks to make sure no one hears him, proving that the narrator is spying on them and the characters can in fact hear him. Peppa is confused and she's talking much louder than the narrator, effectively burying the narrator like the troll that she is. Anyhow, babies sleep anytime they want. Alexander is a Nintendo fanboy I see. We exchange notes on the situation as they sum it all up well while giggling louder than the narrator to end the episode at 4:30. I love this episode as Peppa got schooled by a baby, AGAIN! **** 1/4 (85%).

Lenses: This episode is #393 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the school house on the hill complete with puppet in the box music. The kids present are: Peppa Pig, Mandy Mouse, Danny Dog, Emily Elephant, Suzy Sheep, Freddy Fox, Penny Polar Bear and Pedro F'N Pony. The kids are running around in a disorganized fashion, like a Family Guy spot only wholesome and not problematic at all. Mandy Mouse is just there giggling as Pedo and Penny are chasing each other in an obvious insta-feud and they have a meeting of the minds and it wasn't at the eye doctor, although glasses were involved here. I know some people are surprised that I puralized the word "mind" here, but Pedro is not mindless. His mind is fine, he's just sometimes doesn't have the two clicks in the making of a clue. Happens a lot more often to people than you think. By the way, in Britian it's called "falling over", not bumping into each other and falling down like in North America. Peppa comes over to console them, and Penny and Pedro are okay outside of their glasses clearly being written out by teleport. SUZY SHEEP~?! By the way, we see Pedro's view of Penny and it's blurry. Somehow, one of the glasses is written in by teleport and Peppa finds them. Pedro puts them on and it is even blurrier, so it's clearly Penny Polar Bear's glasses. Pedro and Penny both panic at this as while we got to see from Pedro's prespective, not once do we see Penny's prespective at any point. I mention this because Danny Dog finds Pedro's glasses and puts them on Penny's eyes and Penny panics without showing her prespective. Why is it wrong to show a female's prespective; but perfectly fine to show a male's prespective?! Dammit, I thought we were past this gender taboo stupidity, but apparently not. Gigi Gazelle arrives out of nowhere, and might as well be written in by teleport since she's a vampire in storyline. Gigi switches glasses over, we still see Pedro's prespective, but not Penny's and that was that. Sigh. Pedro wonders why and Gigi explains that his glasses are different to Penny.

What Gigi won't tell Pedro is that his eyes are different to Penny, thus the glasses are design to correct the eyes. Just wait until they discover hand and foot prints, DNA and other genetic markers that make them unique to each other (it only takes 1%), Pedro will likely wish he was dead. Honestly, Peppa and Suzy might feel the same way. Self-esteem would be at an all time low. The rest is a toss up at this point. Danny thinks this is all sus, but it isn't. Gigi and the class head inside and the class sits down on the floor as Gigi goes to a table containing a book with a flower on the cover and a box of crayons. She picks up the magnifying glass and shows off how images can look bigger. Gigi asks if they know about this and Peppa proclaims that she does. Her explaination I thought was going to be Detective Potato since he uses one on television and even used one in an earlier episode. However, the flashback was Grandpa Pig looking at his stamp book at the kitchen table. It's a fun clapback to the Stamps episode, but it's a less obvious choice than Mr. Potato being a detective. Gigi is surprised by the answer as well as Gigi goes to the back shelf and opens it. She brings out a microscope in a box and sets it down on a purple stool (NOT THAT ONE!). Apparently, it can see the impossible. No, not really. It can see the very small and very puny, which normal eyes cannot see. Demonstrated by Freddy being unable to see one of the slides. Freddy's super power is his nose, not his eyes. Gigi puts the slide under the microscope and Freddy Fox looks at it and sees big rocks, which they are not. It's all dust particles, although this class is clearly not ready to be asked what the dust particles are. Forensic Files has really colored my mind in terms of complexity and even that is Hollywood Science. I'm more interested in the stories than the science, but the science sure helps make me want to watch such a show. The kids all see the dust under the microscope.Emily Elephant suddenly reveals character development for Mummy Elephant: Mummy Elephant job is being a micro-biologist in the flashback. Emily's promo about this moment is very roundabout, but she is four years old and that is understandable.However, it's nice to know that Mummy Elephant does have a job outside of being a firefighter. The more they do this, the more it takes the edge off Miss Rabbit's multiple jobs gimmick, because dammit, she needs it badly.

Gigi Gazelle puts back the slides and microscope on the back shelf and decides to waste time asking for more lenses from the kids. The kids of course have to troll on Gigi on this. It's like they somehow got god-whistled and heard the line: "Wrong answers only." even though Gigi never said that. Danny Dog giggling during this gave the whistle away I should note. Gigi brings out a telescope and Danny Dog gets it. It's a lenes used to make stuff bigger only the object from very large distances away, unlike a microscope which makes stuff bigger from a very small distance since the object is tiny to begin with. Gigi Gazelle walks to the back wall as Mandy Mouse has the telescope as she looks at it from both ends as Mandy Mouse is squeeling with glee seeing Gigi's expanded face and then a smaller version of her. By the way, a reminder: This doesn't disprove that Gigi is a vampire because a telescope is not a mirror, since mirrors show your reflection and telescopes don't. Gigi waves to Mandy as Danny Dog talks about Captain Dog having one, and we have a flashback AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) of Captain Dog sailing the sea. Thankfully, we return to reality (no, not really) and Danny basically says that he looks from the small end. At least he didn't bring up the retirement stips again. Penny asks about the glasses as Pedro is confused; and finally Gigi points out that their eyes are different. Yup, Gigi waited until now as to not spoil the obvious. That one is on me. It's home time as the parents park on the steep sides of the hill as always. By the way, both of Penny's mummies show up! AWESOME! Sadly, only Mummy Polar Bear enters because the space of the school house sucks. Gigi Gazelle exchanges notes on the situation as the kids also get their two cents in. The only thing of note is Captain Dog and Danny Dog's tails selling way better than anyone or anything in this cartoon, that was funny. Pedro and Penny exchange notes with Doctor Pony and Mummy Polar Bear as Mummy Polar Bear never speaks. Everyone laughs as the narrator says it all to end the episode at 4:30. Fun episode outside of that sexist prespective spot. *** 1/4 (65%).

Igloo: This episode is #394 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the house on the hill with snow on the ground. At least the narrator says it's a cold day which is far more believable than saying it's a snowy day with no snow falling. Peppa and George come out west in their winter clothes as Peppa is throwing snow in the air. Daddy Pig and Mummy Pig come out as Mummy Pig is really selling the cold and Daddy Pig is no selling it. HAHA! Yeah, Mummy Pig with all her winter clothes on is somehow as cold as Daddy Pig with only his winter coat on. SUZY SHEEP~?! There is a steel bucket in the background and a frozen water facuet attached to the house. Daddy Pig takes the bucket and pours out a circular ring of ice. Daddy Pig comments on it while wiping it with his glove hand. Jump cut to Peppa calling the parents over because a snowman is being created in the process. Of course, it's a frowny snowman because a happy snowman would be bigoted, am I right?! Mummy Pig says hello to the frowny snowman, that was funny. Peppa states that the snowman looks cold. Well, you didn't turn that frown upside down. I realize this is all George's fault for the frown, but still. Of course, Peppa wants him to have a house to keep him warm. Considering that everything is magic in this world, I wouldn't put it past this show to have the snowman in the house on the hill and the snowman never melts at all. Daddy Pig walks into the house as he proclaims that they need bricks and don't have any. Everyone is confused as Daddy Pig returns with buckets and shovels because they are going to make a house out of snow bricks. It's basically the same process as making a sandcastle, only the buckets are brick shaped molds. The bricks are set down one by one together as Daddy Pig calls this an igloo. Peppa Pig protests this because they are making a house, lacking self-awareness as Daddy Pig points out that an igloo is a type of house you find in cold places as demonstrated in the flashback which is snowing I should note. By the way Daddy Pig, there's no solid ground at the North Pole, but there is surrounding the North Pole like Greenland. Just a geography lesson to make Daddy Pig the GEEK OF THE WEEK~! More snow brick making and laying down as Daddy Pig is making sure the bricks are long side down. Mummy Pig then tells us that there might be a snowstorm coming according to some weather person no one seems to care about. Daddy Pig is not worried, so he has learned nothing about this multiverse. More building and laying down bricks makes Gregory Weagle something something. Scene change to Peppa and George looking tired and blown up. Thankfully, these are the last bricks which somehow fit despite not looking the proper shape. SUZY SHEEP~?!

The igloo is done and Daddy Pig has somehow disappeared...Oh wait, he's in the igloo. Everyone wonders where the door is and Daddy Pig points out the he hasn't made the door yet. Daddy Pig decided to take his glove off -- off-screen -- to push through the brick wall and wiggles them, just to scare Peppa into thinking they are wiggly worms. I howled with laughter considering how much Peppa loves wiggly worms. How do you do?! I love you! Daddy's fingers are wiggly worms! HAHA! Daddy Pig pushes the ice bricks through to create a door and then his head went through the door, Miss Lips was laughing at him and me. Everyone gets in with Mummy Pig ducking of course. The inside of the igloo has the floor up at least a foot taller than the top of the snow line outside. It's warmer now, but the place is a bit dark for Mummy Pig's liking as Peppa calls it a magical snow house. Whatever. Daddy Pig leaves the house and goes to the bucket with the circular ring of ice and takes the piece of ice out. Jump cut to inside the igloo with the family as Daddy Pig's wiggly worm fingers strike again and a circular window is created. Now it's lighter and colder for Mummy Pig's liking. But wait, Daddy Pig hasn't installed the ice window. He installs the ice window of doom as Peppa loves it because it's started to snow literally seconds later. Daddy Pig talks to the snowman, that was funny. Daddy Pig enters the igloo and sits down with the family. Mummy Pig is like "I told you so", which would have been funnier if the snow was much heavier and it was much windier out there. Peppa is deeply concerned about the snowman outside as the snowman has somehow had his frown turned upside down. How about that?! SUZY SHE--?! Oh wait, there is a purple hat figure walking around and it's not Suzy Sheep since Suzy's hat is a much lighter shade of purple than this one. Mummy Pig thinks a wild animal is on the loose and then the hat pushes up to reveal...wait for it...Penny Polar Bear! She's the one who made the snowman happy! AWESOME! Penny growls as Peppa is so happy, she runs out of the igloo just as the two mummies come out in winter gear. AWESOME! They are not going to jettison the two mummies like Ducktales 2017 did with the two misters after all. By the way, Movie Night features Penny Polar Bear's house, so we'll be seeing them again five episodes from now. Sadly, they didn't make the wedding. BOO! HISS! They all exchange notes for a while, apparently as well as growling, they love walking in snowstorms. That doesn't help in normalizing them, show. I'm just saying. Unless Mummy Polar Bear is a storm chaser which are real people who I sometimes see on The Weather Network. Everyone laughs as the narrator says it all to end the episode at 4:30. Okay, this episode was a lot of fun to watch and I'm relieved that the two mummies are going to continue showing up on this show moving forward. **** (80%).

Mr. Bull Is Getting Married!: This episode is #395 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the school house on the hill as Mr. Bull is cutting grass with a hand mower. The cars that arrive have Mummy Rabbit, Daddy Rabbit, Mummy Elephant, Mummy Sheep, Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig. Kids: Peppa Pig, George Pig, Rebecca Rabbit, Richard Rabbit (YAY!), Emily Elephant, Suzy Sheep and Pedro F'N Pony all go inside. Mr. Bull stops mowing and heads to the door that is now been shut by the kids and knocks on said door. Gigi Gazelle comes out and they exchange notes for a while as Gigi asks if he coming tomorrow, Mr. Bull says no. Gigi is happy to see Mr. Bull get a day off and Miss Rabbit suddenly has sad syndrome again! Anyhow, Mr. Bull proclaims that he has found his perfect beloved in life and is getting married! My first thought was that it has to be Mr. Labo and we can have the second same sex couple, only it's two daddies. Than I realize that this was supposed to be the tease for the Daddy Cat/Not Daddy Cat relationship, so that is out. Then it hit me: It's Mrs. Cow who is the beloved. Of course! What a fool I am?! Yup, it's Mrs. Cow with the most hilariously sad piano music ever as we flashback to Mrs. Cow in the market staring at a painted picture of Mr. Bull with black dotted eyes. How fitting that he picked the one who sells the always amusing smelly cheese, since she works as a cheese seller. She might be the supplier for Cheese World for all I know. I'm surprised the show hasn't made that into an angle yet. This is so great and then we head back to reality (no, not really) for the overdue record scratch because Mr. Bull forgot to tell Gigi this well in advance because they are having the wedding tomorrow! Mr. Bull is somehow dumber than Daddy Pig just for that. Mr. Bull's excuse is that he didn't think this wedding would be interesting. I have watched clips of this and he's dead wrong in hindsight. Mr. Bull is our GEEK OF THE WEEK~! Gigi Gazelle is rightfully offended by that excuse because -- HELLO! -- they haven't done a wedding angle on this damn show! Of course it would be important! It's never been done before. Gigi is pissed off and she slams the door behind Mr. Bull.

Gigi is inside as we see that Danny Dog, Freddy Fox, Gerald Giraffe, and Mandy Mouse are also here. Wait, no Edmond Elephant?! That's kind of sus considering Richard Rabbit is here and Richard's the one who no one in this show likes when it comes to playgroup. I guess Edmond's clever clogging went too far after all. Gigi is on her cell phone complaining about this last minute announcement as she is calling Miss Rabbit at the supermarket to make the announcement of Mr. Bull getting married. Daddy Mole, Mummy Dog, Dr. Elephant and of all people, Granny Sheep in a totally out of character moment. None of the food item in her basket are used for art. We continue onto the petro station with Granddad Dog on the phone to get the announcement of the entire show that Mr. Bull is marrying Mrs. Cow. Next is the shipyard with Reggie Rabbit on the phone saying champion just to be Reggie Rabbit. Next is the vet with Doctor Hamster with one of the guniea pigs on her desk and pets it. The animal poops on cue of course. Peppa demands to know what is going on and Gigi reveals in a huff of panic: Mr. Bull is getting married! The kids do their shock and awe promo and their blank stares say it all: They do not give an elf. HAHA! Pedro Pony asks what is being married, which indicates that Doctor Pony and Mummy Pony are not married, otherwise Pedro is a geek. Mandy Mouse explains that it's a party called a wedding and Emily proclaims that they profess their love forever. Because in a cartoon, no one dies unless the writer decides they die, you see. By the way, they also explain the assignments when they are married as Suzy saw someone married on television because Suzy's mother is a single unmarried woman. Then they talk about them kissing and all the kids are grossed out on this. HAHA! Now, if you watched Peppa Pig Tales: Peppa unintentionally picked a wrong door at the movie theater and slipped into a romance movie, and the second the couple did a kissing scene, Daddy Pig covered Peppa's eyes and dragged her away from the cinema room. There was a good storyline reason for that: Peppa Pig and the kids do not like seeing adults kiss. They think it's gross, and the parents know it. Pedro is against marriage as Gigi claps her hands and it's home time.

Danny Dog points out that the playgroup hasn't even started yet. Word. Gigi shoos them away because everyone needs to get ready for this important moment even though it takes two more episodes before this one! Gigi then does a sight gag as she opens the cupboard and literally pushes the red button to start a red alert siren light on the door. This leads to Mummy Pig's kitchen as she is making vegetable soup and their kitchen door also has a siren light. I should note that this was intended to be a one off sight gag, so when those siren lights are not shown after this sequence, that's why. It's a logic break; but it's clearly intentional. Still, it does allow me to see Captain Dog hanging the laundry outside his house. Everyone goes to their cars and heads to the school house. Everyone picks up the children, of course Freddy Fox leaves with Danny Dog because Mr. Fox is a deadbeat dad. We cut to the boring road as Peppa wants to inform Mummy Pig about the wedding, but Mummy Pig knows because everyone knows. Wait, Gigi Gazelle never phoned Mummy Pig at all and we never saw her until she was in the kitchen. SUZY SHEEP~?! Plus, the siren lights had noise, but no announcement of the wedding. The car makes it to the house on the hill as Peppa, George and Mummy Pig get out. Daddy Pig comes out with two tuxedos, unable to decide which one to wear on the wedding. Even though they are exactly the same, talk about weightlifting issues. Then on the opposite side of the house, the doorbell rings and almost three minutes into the 395th episode of Peppa Pig, Mr. Bull and Mrs. Cow are here holding hands. Mrs. Cow is voiced by Sèverine Howell-Meri, probably to play up the fact that Mrs. Cow has a French accent now since The Market episode. The hilariously bad piano playing resumes in the background. Everyone comes to the door for the meet and greet as Mrs. Cow even says "Bonjour". Peppa and George are not impressed, but the adults are. The adult exchange notes, the kids just trade blank stares on the situation for a long ass whomping time. Mrs. Cow wants Peppa to be the bridesmaid. Of course! Because even though this is Mr. Bull and Mrs. Cow's wedding, Peppa is the star and everyone else is a geek!

Peppa is giddy about this of course, because she can hog the spotlight in this one. See what I did there?! Then Peppa is confused and Mummy Pig explains that the bridesmaid is the special friend for the wedding bride which is Mrs. Cow in case Peppa didn't get it the first time. Everyone goes into the kitchen and we exchange more notes to waste time in a four and a half minute episode. They are having the wedding outside somewhere as long as the weather is nice, in an area where unsettled weather is king. Might as well have the wedding in Nova Scotia, then. Same weather. By the way, we discover that they are getting married and made no effort to add the trappings of a wedding. I guess the only thing they did was sign the marriage papers in advance, which would make sense, but it's Peppa Pig so I put nothing past Mr. Bull nor Mrs. Cow to not do that either. We get a dream sequence of the wedding cake store with Mr. Zebra, Not Daddy Cat and palette swaps of Mummy Cat and Mummy Wolf looking on. The dress store sequence features Mr. Stallion, Mrs. Corgi, and the Rhino family minus Riley Rhino. WHAT?! The Rhino family isn't supposed to redebut until the third episode of the Apartments arc. (Context: I ranted on three of the four episodes of the apartments arc already, but none of them have been posted yet since I still have three episodes left, including the first episode of said arc.) Rohan is not amused by this. The ring store shows Mummy Cat, Daddy Giraffe, Granny Wolf and more palette swaps outside. Inside the shop, is the debut of Mr. Raccoon! He doesn't speak here though because he's about to make some history in the next episode. I didn't know how rigid the Peppa Pig World was when it came to tradition since all of these are important in that world. In this world though: You just have to sign marriage papers and you are officially married. Everything else is icing. A lot of butter cream icing. Everyone is doing the most contrived panicking ever as Peppa thinks doing this is all impossible. This is a cartoon, it's all I'm Possible. The narrator asks the question to end part one at 4:30. This was a really good start, although the Rohan cameo was weird since his redebut isn't until much later on. I don't think he even makes it to the wedding. We'll see. *** 3/4 (75%).

Getting Ready For A Wedding: This episode is #396 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the house on the hill as we head into the kitchen with the Pig family, Mr. Bull and Mrs. Cow giggling like they are desperate because the writers actually remembered some continuity. Mummy Pig brings out an out of nowhere laptap onto the kitchen counter and searches for a wedding planner complete with website with double rings. Guess who the wedding planner is?! The doorbell rings, the door opens and in comes Miss Rabbit with a double heart hat in job #396! The bovines have zero idea what cake they want complete with "wah-wah" sound, so Peppa has to assist Miss Rabbit while Mummy Pig has to bake the cake with some one, I don't know since Mrs. Cow and Mr. Bull must join Peppa. Jump cut to the giant glass mall of doom and Mummy Elephant and Mr. Fox are talking at the front, AGAIN! Also, Lottie Llama and Mummy Llama make their rare appearance entering the mall, Lottie's third appearance and Mummy Llama's second appearance. Jump cut to the inside of the mall where Miss Rabbit, the bovines and Peppa walk into the ring shop as we have Mr. Raccoon at his desk dressing nice and speaking for the first time in the series. He is voiced by Orlando Bloom, one of the few big actors to appear on this show! Another one is coming up later. We exchange notes and Mr. Raccoon has some pineapple rings which would look like on pizza or a wedding cake, I will not lie. Peppa no sells this as Mr. Raccoon brings out a rainbow inner tube and blows it up, bigots panic as I slap them into the next circle of heaven since heaven and hell are the same basically. Peppa blows this off, see what I did there as Mr. Raccoon goes to the ice box and opens it to reveal a square red ring made of frozen jelly and Mrs. Cow is the GEEK OF THE WEEK by wearing it. She freezes, Mr. Raccoon is dumber than Mr. Bull is right now. Mrs. Cow wants a ring made of metal and Mr. Raccoon brings out a bunch of metal rings and Mrs. Cow tries on one of them. Then we discover that the stones are hard candy. Am I watching Fanboy & Chum Chum again?! Can you not bury this ring maker any further?!

Anyhow, we head back to the kitchen as Daddy Pig and George Pig are making chocolate cake and George is making a mess of things. Please remember this for later. Mummy Pig comes in and tells them to make carrot cake as the wedding cake on the cellphone. Next up we go to the dress shop with Mrs. Cow, Peppa and Miss Rabbit; which makes sense since Mr. Bull isn't supposed to know about the dress. At the desk inside the shop is Mrs. Lepoard, who doesn't eat anyone, let alone their face. Leopards in real life tend to stay away from humans, so the lepoard-eating faces party is a terrible analogy. You can tell an atheist wrote that one. Was parasite eating faces party too offensive for you, or were you trying to avoid the word "god"?! Because this was an epic fail! Anyhow, Mrs. Lepoard is debutting and voiced by another Hollywood star, Kathy Perry in probably the only stars outside of Europe to be in Peppa Pig. Mrs. Cow wants a wedding dress for a wedding tomorrow and Mrs. Leopard is loving this so much that she orders someone to put the kettle on. That was funny, and it reminds me of Les Thatcher's "put the coffee pot on, mom; we're coming home." promo. So, they show off the types of dresses, which Mrs. Cow wants the large blue one, only in cheese color as Mrs. Leopard cuts off a scrap and it's only for demonstration purposes since Mr. Hyrax on another desk is cutting up and making the dress. Mrs. Goat -- not from Italy I should note -- has a tape measure to measure Mrs. Cow, they cut up the fabric, sew the dress and Mrs. Cow goes into the changing room and puts the dress on, off-screen. She comes out complete with piano music as Mrs. Lepoard and Peppa are at a table with scissors as Mrs. Lepoard states that the shears are not suitable for children. Mrs. Leopard decides to cut a pattern from the demonstration piece and since this is Peppa Pig, something stupid has to happen here. Here's what happens: Mrs. Cow puts the dress on the front stand in the perfect position for Mrs. Bear to come in with the tray of tea and cups. Mrs. Bear places the tray onto the wooden stand.

This moves all the dresses by one step as Mrs. Cow's dress falls onto the table, and Mrs. Leopard cuts some fabric from both the demonstration piece and the dress. Yay! This is not Mrs. Cow's nor Mrs. Leopard's fauly; but this made both of them look like geeks. Worse, when Mrs. Leopard tries to cut the fabric, the blue marker bounces stage left, causing Mrs. Leopard and Peppa to turn around so that they couldn't see the switch over. Jump cut back to the house on the hill as Mrs. Cow, Miss Rabbit and Peppa return to the house. We head inside the kitchen as we see Mr. Bull, George Pig, Daddy Pig and Mummy Pig at the kitchen table with four cakes of different tastes. Mrs. Cow is more so indecisive than weightlifting and Mr. Bull can speak from experience, literally and figurally. Miss Rabbit then decides that they don't have to because all four cakes are going to be stacked up and drowned with butter cream icing. Of course! What a fool I am?! Miss Rabbit puts small models of Mr. Bull and Mrs. Cow in wedding gear with Mrs. Cow wearing a flower in her horn. Sadly, the wrong shade of color was used for the dress. SUZY SHEEP~?! Keep in mind, Miss Rabbit was with Mrs. Cow when she was picking out dresses. The wedding cake is on a trolly and a white plate as George is not happy because he wants to see the bride and groom on top of said cake. Miss Rabbit puts George on the table as George is standing up. George sees the models and is giddy as Miss Rabbit puts a white box over the wedding cake. Miss Rabbit then declares that it's time for break as everyone sits in a chair, and George, that naughty piggie, decides to sit down on top of the box containing the wedding cake. The cake is squashed off-screen as it took two hour to find everything in Peppa Pig time. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief as the narrator says it all to end the episode at 4:30. Well, it was fine, but what a burial of Mr. Raccoon right out of the starting gate. Thankfully, we'll never see him nor Mrs. Leopard again as the kettle joke was really the only truly funny bit along with George squashing the cake. ** 1/2 (50%).

Wedding Day: This episode is #397 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the house on the hill as a cyan blue limo arrives with Mr. Badger driving it. Out comes Mr. Bull in his tuxedo as he rings the doorbell. Out comes Daddy Pig in his tuxedo for the meet and greet. Mr. Bull informs Daddy Pig that the best man, who is Mr. Bull's brother whom we only saw once in this show, is sick and cannot make it. You fools! You had a way to insert his brother on the most important day of his life and you got cold feet?! Damn, this wedding is on the rocks now. They did this just so Daddy Pig can be the best man on Mr. Bull's wedding because they are the dumb duo. Daddy Pig has to tend to the rings, I suspect he will screw this up because he's already talking about a speech. Mr. Bull and Daddy Pig get into the limo and they remember to magically turn the limo around off-screen. No logic break here, it was there. Okay, this is where the arc actually picks up as Miss Rabbit, Mummy Pig, Peppa Pig, George Pig and Mrs. Cow are in Mummy Pig's bedroom as Mrs. Cow brings out the dress, which is now swiss cheese because Mrs. Leopard and Peppa were dumb enough to get distracted by a blue marker and the dress plopped onto the table by a tray of tea. I told you those bears are evil! As if Kit being an Air Pirate once wasn't proof enough! They even flashback to the incident from the last episode, which kudos to the writers for reminding the audience who didn't see the episode beforehand. Then history is made as Mrs. Cow is legit bawling her eyes out, and then she recoils and claims that it's happy crying. Yes, apparently "tears of joy" was too dumb for this writing team. Okay, the fact that she is a cow and wearing a dress that looks like a block of swiss cheese is a really funny visual, but I'm not buying that she's happy crying since she looked like she wanted to cry herself to sleep. Her selling wasn't that great. She is the first adult in Peppa Pig to bawl their eyes out legit. Funny Onion doesn't count! Anyhow, Peppa is rightfully confused as Mummy Pig has to remind her the difference between sad crying and happy crying, which Mrs. Cow did both! Anyhow, we head to the wedding on the hill as the limo arrives and Mr. Bull and Daddy Pig walk out. Granny Sheep is shown in the background. The hill has TARDIS abilties as the stage is being set up and everyone is in their formal dress clothes. Daddy Fox and either Mummy Fox or Doctor Hamster are decorating the stage. Rebecca Rabbit and Doctor Pony have balloons, Mummy Sheep, Captain Dog and Suzy Sheep are there along with Pedro F'N Pony and Mummy Elephant.

Guess who is going to be the justice of the peace?! It's Gigi Gazelle, whom in storyline is supposed to be a vampire. She also brought the Rocking Gazelles on top of the party bus, which by the way, makes it's debut in the next episode! It's decorated with a rainbow canopy and speakers. Reggie Rabbit is here on his best behaviour, which makes me sad. Candy Cat and Mummy Dog are together for this important moment. The chairs are being set up as Danny Dog and Mummy Cat are around. Jump cut to the front door of the house on the hill as Mrs. Cow, Miss Rabbit, Mummy Pig, Peppa Pig and George come out in their formal clothes. George is almost like Molly Cunningham with the blue overalls. Miss Rabbit is the only one who is dressed for work minus the hat. She's Kit Cloudkicker in the Disney Afternoon Christmas PSA. The limo has not come back. Uh-oh! Mr. Badger is so fired! Miss Rabbit thankfully runs away to get her helicopter because we have to bring back the rescue service in some form. The wedding is ready with flowers in the middle as the chairs are on each end. Besides the people I have already identified earlier: Grandpa Pig, Mr. Stallion, Mrs. Corgi, Zoe Zebra, Edmond Elephant, Richard Rabbit, Mandy Mouse, Mummy Pony and Mr. Rabbit. The three spare chairs on the left are for Peppa, George and Mummy Pig. On stage is Gigi Gazelle, Daddy Pig and Mr. Bull as everyone is talking, confused and wondering why Mrs. Cow is not here yet. Then Reggie and Danny Dog get all diddy because he comes a block of cheese~! Reggie Rabbit is awesome! It makes sense because Grampy Rabbit loves cheese. By the way, it's Mrs. Cow on the rope ladder being towed by Miss Rabbit's rescue service, along with Peppa, George and Mummy Pig. Miss Rabbit's the pilot of course. Mandy is absolutely loving it and everyone else likes the dress. Good thing Mrs. Bear was there to screw the dress up then! Miss Rabbit lands the helicopter and Mrs. Cow gets off the rope ladder and walks with her hands clapsed to the stage and meets with Mr. Bull. Peppa, George and Mummy Pig both get off the helicopter and Miss Rabbit bails to land the helicopter off-screen. Peppa and George sit down as Mummy Pig is teleported to her seat. SUZY SHEEP~?! More talking as Gigi claps her hands to stop the sound. Gigi instantly starts the marriage promises and good for her. This doesn't need any stupid speech about love and marriage; we know they are going to say I do and love each other forever, because it's a pre-school show and no one is toxic enough to have a divorce.

Gigi tells Daddy to bring out the rings and Mrs. Cow's toffee ring and Mr. Bull's no stone ring are shown. Yes, the metal ring might as well be arouind Mr. Bull's nose. The couple puts their rings on as Peppa is narrating this with the most obvious whisper yell ever. Gigi then makes this official to a big pop and tells the couple to kiss each other. I have been waiting to mock this since the arc was released: Mr. Bull and Mrs. Cow fake kiss each other because the kiss didn't even make contact to their lips. SUZY SHEEP~?! This was BS&P's fingers in the pie, but what happens next was worth it: The adult pops for this and the kids are grossed out. I howled with laughter. They are grossed out by a worked kiss that wasn't a shoot kiss because the moral guardians would be pissed off. This is the best wedding ever...and it's going to get even better. Miss Rabbit arrives with the trolly and somehow no one is selling the fact that the box is squashed already. They open the box, the cake is ruined and now they sell it. I laughed and laughed and laughed some more. The models then do their version of the backsplash laugh. They didn't need to do the flashback from the last episode; but it didn't hurt it any. Mrs. Cow don't care and she takes 1/3 of the entire cake and we see the layers and Mr. Bull does a dream sequence of being in a hole in the boring road with construction vehicles because it reminds him of his kink. Mr. Bull sheds a tear and now he's happy crying. The crowd is chanting for the speech. Daddy Pig is so generic that Peppa does a run in and cuts a better promo than Daddy Pig, and they clap for her. Awesome! Mrs. Cow and Mr. Cow express their love and now everyone is happy crying, including the narrator. If TaleSpin gets rebooted, do not due a marriage/wedding angle with Rebecca and Baloo. Not even TaleSpin can top this one. Then Mr. Bull says that they were lucky with the weather and the second he says this, it begins to rain. GRANNY SHEEP~?! This is the second time this has happened with Granny Sheep making an appearance and it's going to happen in Art House Day! Mr. Bull is our GEEK OF THE WEEK~! The adults are not thrilled with this, but Peppa is just loving because we all know where this is going. DING! Gigi is like "oh, why not" and throws her hat away. She teleports to the Rocking Gazelle and it's time to rock and jump~! Then we get the zoom out of everyone except the Gazelles jumping up and down in muddy puddles. The best SUZY SHEEP moment of this is, that we have more cameos: Mummy Rabbit, Granny Pig, Doctor Elephant, Freddy Fox dressed like George only in red, Gerald Giraffe, Officer Grey Squirrel, Officer Panda, and the Panda Twins. Peppa is jumping with the married couple as the narrator says it all to end the episode at 4:30. Despite a slow middle, once Mrs. Cow started happy crying; this turned around and became the best wedding in pre-school show history. **** 3/4 (95%).

Party Bus: This episode is #398 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the house on the hill as Mummy Pig comes out with Peppa Pig dressed in a fancy dress carrying a present as we discover that today is Candy Cat's birthday. Peppa is confused because she and Mummy Pig are walking to the bus stop. Uh-oh! I think I know where this is going. A reminder: I have been ranting on Peppa Pig Tales and there are a lot of plots that have shown in excess since I was reviewing those shows. The mainline series have been left alone mostly due to issues with Hasbro and the official Youtube channel. This episode is the debut in the mainline series of the infamous Party Bus! Okay, the party bus is fun for the most part; but I have already seen like an episode per Peppa Pig Tales rant take place on the party bus, so to see it here at this point is kind of draining to me. This will not be the last time we see the party bus in the mainline series, however; it's only been around once after this episode in the mainline after this compared to double digit appearances in Peppa Pig Tales, with more to come I am certain. Anyhow, let's continue on as Peppa wonders where the party is and here comes the party bus with Miss Rabbit driving it of course. Inside is Mummy Cat, Daddy Cat, Suzy Sheep, Pedro F'N Pony, Molly Mole, Gerald Giraffe, Emily Elephant, Danny Dog, and of course in the front because she's the birthday star of this episode: Candy Cat. By the way, Candy Cat is actually getting a mini push in this Series due to a very important four part arc coming up in a few rants from now. Everyone is in their birthday gear, or weating party hats, or both. Peppa gives Candy Cat a present, the wrapping is goldfish. I don't know what Goldie the Goldfish thinks about this, but this smells like a troll move by Peppa, as usual. Peppa gets a party hat to wear as Candy Cat confirms that the party is literally in the bus, thus known as the Party Bus. It also has the rainbow jukebox and it's music and dance time~! DISCO FEVER~! DISCO FEVER~! DISCO FEVER~! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! Say what you will about Disco Inferno being a clueless putz and not being in WWE because that's how gifted he is; his entrance music is a banger, BABEE! Good for WWE to still have the licensing rights to that song!

Also, the party bus can double as a party tour bus to the playground. I mention this because Peppa wants to go to the playground and Miss Rabbit gleefully accepts. Everyone sits down with seatbelts now as Miss Rabbit invokes the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM to waste some time in a four and a half minute episode. Imagine "Wheels On The Bus" only with the party bus theme. By the way, Miss Rabbit is going to be in a singing competition a few rants down the road. Her rap was glorious! They make it to the playground complete with the clubhouse as they play catch and Peppa catches Candy within seconds. Even though it's Candy's birthday, Peppa is the star and everyone else is a geek! Daddy Cat in a rare moment actually speaks as he yells for balloons. Daddy Cat has black fur here, so it looks like they aren't going to do the two daddies for Candy Cat after all and stick to the interracial family angle they have been shooting for since the debut of said family. We head inside as the kid want balloons and we get a scene changer. Daddy Cat finally does something of note as he is going to use a balloon machine to put air into the balloons. Better not be helium, that would suck as demonstrated in George's Balloon. Apparently, the green funnel is a speaker for the kid to decide which balloon they want. So, this is a "smart" balloon machine. This might be trouble considering the smart checkouts in Peppa Pig Tales. Peppa Pig order a Teddy balloon and gets one. Geez, Peppa still doesn't understand how abusive her relationship is with Teddy. Candy goes second despite being the birthday girl because...you guessed it. She gets a fish balloon and she calls it magic. The second after she says that, everyone has balloons. So, Peppa and Candy went last. That would make sense, but they didn't have balloons before Peppa started choosing her balloon. SUZY SHEEP~?! Suzy has Owlie and Pedro picked a banana, because he does the splits. Of course! What a fool I am?! Everyone sits down because it's time to go to the seaside according to Miss Rabbit. That means more wasting time with the same TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM~!

Molly Mole and Danny Dog are throwing sand because they want to make a birthday cake out of sand for Candy Cat. Awww! My heart melted. I just love after all this Candy calls this the best birthday cake made of sand ever. If I was that sand cake, I would bury her right now, cut off her hair and leave. But not join a Paul Jones cake who dressed up like Adolf Hitler, that would kill the moment for me. Anyhow, Mummy Cat calls for everyone to come back to the party bus for the party food eating segment. Mostly a vegan selection with cheese, pretzels, and the jelly cake of course. They are now outside the party bus with some rainbow shades for sun protection. Bigoted sun. I knew that baby in the sun in Teletubbies would be a Donald Trump supporter. Everyone gets into the party bus after eating and another scene changer. Next up is "Pass The Parcel" as the instrumental music "Head and Shoulders, Knees And Toes" is playing in the background. Peppa unwraps the first part of the parcel and then they pass the parcel to Pedro Pony as the music stops. Pedro does nothing because he's car sick again. Everyone goes topside and there is a conveniently placed slide as Pedro now feels better. I don't see the point of this since Pedro didn't cheat anyway. Everyone has a go on the slide and it just dawned on me: This party bus is the exact same bus from London. In other words, the Queen gave it to Miss Rabbit as a gift and Miss Rabbit converted it into a party bus. The kids sit on top of the roof with seatbelts on as we drive some more. We head into town as they actually tease the apartments with Mr. Bull cleaning one of the windows on a tall ladder. The party bus makes it to the bus stop as Mummy Pig is still watching from there. The Cat family and Peppa come out for the meet and greet as Peppa is shocked that the party is over. But wait, Miss Rabbit continues the party because we still have the real birthday cake shaped like a fish with white icing and Smarties. Candy Cat has four candles, so has she been three years old this entire time?! SUZY SHEEP~?! Everyone giggles as the narrator says it all to end the episode at 4:30. A fun birthday party, but it feels somewhat flat by the overuse of the bus on Peppa Pig Tales. *** 1/2 (70%).

Movie Night: This episode is #399 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the cyan blue house on the hill that looks like a flat roof house. Daddy Pig arrives with his car and Peppa Pig as it parks on the steep side of the hill as usual. Out comes Peppa and you will never guess who comes out of the house. That's right, it's Penny Polar Bear and the two mummies! YES! YES! YES! This is where they live. AWESOME! Okay, it was Doctor Polar Bear first, but when they go into the sitting room, Mummy Polar Bear is there supervising the kids who are being chaotic kids as usual. Kids: Peppa Pig, Penny Polar Bear, Suzy Sheep, Gerald Giraffe, Mandy Mouse, Pedro F'N Pony, Rebecca Rabbit and Danny Dog. Out of these, only Gerald Giraffe was not part of the Families episode, so this is basically Gerald's first exposure to the two mummies. He don't care, so the bigots whine some more. The sitting room is generic with the only thing of note is the projector mounted on the wall. Penny Polar Bear explains that the movie is going to be the sequel to the Super Potato Movie. Mandy says the title is with a "2". A lot of movie sequels are like that, so whatever. The kids are so excited to see this. Mummy Polar Bear is taking the pictures down as Peppa questions this. My question, why not just have the pictures side by side with the projector in the middle on the opposite wall?! Then you don't have to go through the trouble of taking the pictures down so you can use the projector to play the movie. That was dumb. Doctor Polar Bear and Mummy Polar Bear turn out the lights and shoot the projector on screen in that order as the pictures have been written out by teleport. SUZY SHEEP~?! Peppa and Penny do shadow puppets for a while as Peppa has to do Mister Skinnylegs again. Peppa must like trolling on the Austrialian censorship boards or something. Mummy Polar Bear tells everyone to sit down on the sofa because it's time for the movie. Penny returns to the sofa and pushes the red button to start the movie. We see a cloudy sunny sky as Super Potato arrives to tell us the name of the movie, which has the subtitle "The Return Of The Potato". Okay, good to know. Danny Dog decided to sit on the sofa and Gerald decided to sit down on the floor right in front of Danny Dog, so Danny Dog complains that he cannot see the movie at all. Gerald apologizes, so Penny pauses the movie and everyone switches places in order to make sure Gerald sits on the sofa.

The two mummies think this is better until we see Rebecca's Rabbit's ears are showing up on the screen. Ooops. The best laid plans went awry here. Rebecca trades places with Suzy and that is that. But wait, Penny raises her arm because they forgot the snacks and the two mummies realize this and bail. I put 2:1 odds that Pedro Pony needs the toilet. Danny and Penny love popcorn as the two mummies return with bowls of sweet popcorn and salty popcorn. I love buttery popcorn, but that's not healthy, so that is out. Penny Polar Bear loves both flavors available I should note. Peppa loves sweet popcorn, Rebecca loves salty popcorn. I wonder if the salty popcorn is salt from the tear of salty bigots who think the two mummies are the spawn of Satan or something?! So, we resume the movie and Pedro Pony does the worst thing ever: He admits that he saw this before and tries to spoil the movie, and the kids all shhh him in response. If you ever want to see a clueless putz channeling Randy Pincherson's movie spoiling, call Pedro Fucking Pony! This is better than Fish Hooks' episode because Pedro not being malicious here like Randy Pincherson was, Pedro is being the clueless putz that he is. Penny and Mandy basically tells Pedro off and Pedro decides to shut up. The movie resumes as we get the low point of the episode: Super Potato is flying around and Mrs. Carrot is sitting on a wooden bench pleading for help because she lost her hat. Despite the fact that the hat is clearly seen behind the bench! I thought this show was better than this after the reboot, but apparently nothing changes. Mrs. Carrot is the GEEK OF THE WEEK~! Even Pedro has a better clue than this, no wonder he was spoiling this. Rebecca and Suzy are burying this segment and Penny has to pause the movie as Peppa blows them off for talking. Earth to Peppa: This segment sucks! I don't blame Suzy and Rebecca for burying this movie, it is sexist and awful! Oh, and when they resume the movie, everyone is chanting for Super Potato. Hypocrisy much there, Peppa?! Oh, and just when the movie has reached climax, I lose the bet because it's DANNY DOG who needs to go to the toilet, so the movie stops. This episode is fabulous, this movie sucks! The two mummies ask if anyone else needs to go, and everyone except Mandy, Penny, Rebecca and Pedro go to the toilet. Yes, the one kid who always has toilet issues doesn't need the toilet this time.

The movie stops, the lights are back on, the narrator is telling them to empty the pipe before seeing the movie, etc. The rest of the kids are exchanging notes on the movie and Rebecca Rabbit loves Mrs. Carrot so much she's blushing, which is code for she wants to eat Mrs. Carrot. Apparently, Rebecca is into cannabalism at this point of the character. Thankfully, Mummy Polar Bear defuses this sadism by offering Rebecca a real carrot and Rebecca chomps on it. Everyone returns as Danny Dog is questioning Rebecca on the carrot thingie. Earth to Danny: Mummy Polar just saved Rebecca Rabbit from comitting possible first degree murder and violating a corpse on Mrs. Carrot! Everyone wants a carrot and Mummy Polar Bear gives them carrots. Might as well bring out the veggie platters while the two mummies are at it. The two mummies ask if everyone is ready, everyone is ready. The lights are turned off and we resume the movie as Super Potato flies down to Mrs. Carrot and Super Potato does his spiel, the only thing good about this movie. He finds the hat and puts it on Mrs. Carrot's head, everyone pops and Super Potato leaves after praise. Mrs. Carrot decides to have lunch, now she cannot open her purple lunch box. At least she can blame that on a bad opening mechism on the lunchbox instead of her just being an idiot. Super Potato chants ring out in the sitting room by the kids. Super Potato returns again and opens up the lunch box with ease, probably breaking the opening mechism as Mrs. Carrot loves cheese like Reggie Rabbit loves cheese. Everyone cheers, Mrs. Carrot thanks Super Potato and the movie is over. Awful first half, better second half, ** 1/4. We head outside Penny's house AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as the parents have arrived in their cars. Mummy Pony and Mummy Dog have arrived in their cars and no one else. The kids all get out and recap the movie to the parents because they know the parents will never be caught dead seeing the movie by themselves. Daddy Pig asks what to say and the kids all thank Penny Polar Bear and the two mummies for the night as the bigots become salty and bitter all in one go. Everyone laughs and for the first time I do believe, the two mummies among others do the backsplash laugh as the narrator says it all to end the episode at 4:30. That movie was bad, but this episode was awesome! The two mummies should have video game night there, it would be just as awesome even if the game is worse than a Super Potato Movie. **** 1/2 (90%).

Art House Day: This episode is #400 (!!!) on the animation paper and the episode opens at the white house on the hill as we zoom in and then scene change to the sitting room as Granny Pig is using a tape measure to measure something on the wall. Peppa walks in looking confused. Granny Pig explains that she's buying a new picture to hang on the wall. The doorbell rings and Peppa answers it to reveal Suzy Sheep and Granny Sheep. Peppa and Suzy hug each other as everyone does the meet and greet. Suzy asks if they are ready for Art House Day and Peppa is confused. Granny Pig is hoping to buy a new picture as Granny Sheep brings out her map, showing the houses they have visited, literally three houses with a trail the shape of a megaphone. How drole. Oh, and those dots are littered on the ground, so they follow the dots. Granny Sheep's promo wasn't all that special as we see Doctor "I love art, not console wars" Pony and Pedro "I love to steal art and F'N it!" Pony on the trail looking at a map. This is one of the only times Doctor Pony is referred to as Mr. Pony. They meet and greet as everyone decides to follow the dots, and the first art house is towards a small cabin that I saw in a previous episode and it's the home of Old Mrs. Donkey, whom only appeared in Charity Shop previously. Her art design is basically drawing owls as Suzy questions why they are all the same. Old Mrs. Donkey calls this screen printing although it's more like screen painting. It involves using red paint, a glass screen and a squeegee to make the red owl. The kids and Doctor Pony accept the prints, but Granny Pig doesn't. However, everyone gets some snacks (nibbles in Britian). I'm surprised that they allowed any kind of nuts on the show considering the allergy issues and them avoiding any kind of animal meat. I'm guessing Granny Pig is eating crisps (potato chips) and everyone else has strawberries. Everyone leaves and follows the dots east except for Pedro and Doctor Pony as they head west. Everyone left heads to Gerald Giraffe's house which I believe is either the first or second time I have seen his house. It's basically a very tall blue house for obvious and not so obvious reasons. Gerald is right there for the meet and greet. Then we get a hilarious moment: We head inside and Daddy Giraffe is painting a picture of Miss Rabbit. Every painting he makes is the size of a square of film. That was funny and so ironic too. You know they are tiny when Daddy Giraffe has a magnifying lens that is much bigger than the painting he's making. Gerald says it all as he gives Peppa the magnifying glass and we see various grey shadow paintings. Including Gerald's head and Miss Rabbit's head.

Granny Sheep loves this self-expression. Hey, I think it's great expression. I'm just laughing that it's a member of the Giraffe family painting these pictures. They fit in your pocket, which Granny Pig has to reject here. Daddy Giraffe offers a pyramid of cheese balls for the snacks. Granny Sheep loves this work of art, and I think the voice talent messed up a bit. I think Granny Sheep was suppose to say delicious in another language, as per the gimmick. If anyone know what she said and the language, you know the email address. Gerald's house also has a basketball hoop on the eastern side of the house. Everyone walks out and follows the dot. For the third time (second one directly involving Granny Sheep), it rains hard. SUZY SHEEP~?! Thankfully, Granny Pig brought the umbrella to shield everyone and Granny Sheep cuts a promo about the beauty of rain. Well, it's true until it becomes acid rain. Then it's not so beautiful. We see a plant with a raindrop threatening to drop on cue on the closeup. The kids are in awe as Granny Sheep claims that nature is creating art. I cannot argue that overwhelming logic there, Granny Sheep. Everyone walks at the hill to Suzy Sheep's residence. Of course! What a fool I am?! To think that Granny Sheep wouldn't have any artwork present during Art House Day, when her gimmick is that she is a artist. We head inside the sitting room with art in the background with cameos from: Charlotte Sheep with a bowl of celery, Mummy Sheep with a bowl of cheese cubes, Mr. Bull, Mummy Mole, Doctor Pony and Pedro Pony. In comes Peppa, Suzy, Granny Sheep and Granny Pig as Doctor Pony takes off his glasses looking at the picture with a jug made of colored spots with a brown base. Doctor Pony comments on this taking ages and Granny Sheep claims that it took 20 minutes to paint and a lifetime. HAHA! Mr. Bull loves the big painting that looks like a deconstruction zone as Granny Sheep calls it a meeting of the rational world and the subconscious, which confuses Mr. Bull. HAHA! That's one way to explain that painting. Suzy likes the hill because it reminds her of grass. Peppa loves the orange ball because it reminds her of cheese balls. Yup, they are recapping their favorite moments in this episode, ala Dora The Explorer does at the end of her episodes. Granny Pig decides that the cheese ball painting will be the one that hangs on her wall. Granny Pig offers to buy it, but Granny Sheep gives it to her for free because she loves art and not money, you see. Everyone eats some cheese cubes from the bowl from Mummy Sheep as everyone eats and laughs while the narrator says it all to end the episode at 4:30. This was a good episode as Granny Sheep is one of the few artists who isn't in it for the money. *** 1/2 (70%).

Wildflower Wood: This episode is #401 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the school house on the hill. Zoom into the room to see Gigi Gazelle and the kids giggling. Kids: Edmond Elephant, Danny Dog, Peppa Pig, Suzy Sheep, Freddy Fox, Penny Polar Bear, Pedro F'N Pony, Rebecca Rabbit, Mandy Mouse, Molly Mole, Candy Cat and Gerald Giraffe. No George Pig nor Wendy Wolf. Another playgroup where no one loves Richard Rabbit nor the Panda Twins. Sigh. Gigi claps her hands to address the kids that they are going for the wildflower wood experience. The kids are in awe of this. Which involves the kids wearing flower hats, to symbolize the wildflower wood world, I guess. Pedro, Candy and Molly look like stars when Peppa is the star and everyone else is a geek. Gigi and the kid bail outside through the backdoor, so I guess there was one in the backstage area of the school after all. Gigi is wearing a red backpack as Mr. Bull arrives with his hand lawn mowers. It's 2024, and they are still using hand mowers, for no reason. The is a patch of wildflowers growing in the grass and Mr. Bull want to cut said grass because his destructive fetish is acting up again, or something. Gigi pleads for him not to cut the grass; because we have an educational moment taking place and that is more important than anything in the world. Okay, word. Mandy Mouse offers Mr. Bull to come join them in the wildflower wood experience and Mr. Bull accepts. He gets a pink flower with a bee attached to it. Sadly, it's not a real one since it would be more hilarious to see Mr. Bull panic and run from it like Daddy Pig. Scene change to the park as everyone skips into the park through the wooden fence. Then everyone walks normallly for no reason. No logic break, just odd. The kids are in awe of the woods, despite Peppa being in the park multiple times before. They stop into the area as Gigi tells everyone not to touch anything since rashes are real and real ugly, if you know what I mean. Danny is confused as Gigi tells them to take in the wonders of nature. If the bugs weren't here, I certainly would have no problem taking it all in, dood. Peppa and Suzy exchange notes about some of the flowers being identical to their costumes. Gigi joins in as Danny asks how the flowers know what colors to show and Gigi cannot answer that question, and Mr. Bull says it's the wonders of nature.

Hey, credit to the idiot of culture: At least he didn't say it was magic. Also, where the hell is Edmond Elephant?! The clever clogs of this outfit is IN THIS EPISODE and he didn't speak up?! The one time I wanted the know it all to actually tell us, and he's not even there?! FACKING BULLSHEET~! Edmond Elephant decides to do his educational promo on a buttercup as Candy Cat just walks away to let Edmond make a smartass out of himself. The narrator actually plays along with Edmond instead of calling him a clever clogs or extremely clever, according to BS&P. Penny Polar Bear's two mummies apparently like the white petal wildflower. Danny sniffs the flower and likes it, since it's close to his flower. So, Danny hates the taste of flowers, but doesn't mind the smell of flowers. Gigi then reveals the name, sadly the audio I am using here is not very good and I couldn't make out the name other than it is used in cooking and Gigi doesn't like the taste of it. I wonder if Mummy Dog tried this on Danny and that's why Danny hated the taste of flowers?! An interesting development to be sure as Mr. Bull is thristy and it's time for glasses of juice made of flowers. After everyone gets their plastic cups and the juice is poured in between scenes; everyone drinks and loves it. Danny is finally over hate for the taste of flowers because he smiles. Yup, Nick killed that angle dead. The next flower to search for is blue bells, so yes I was able to make out one flower in this entire episode. Everyone heads to the field of blue bells as the kids are in awe of this. Mr. Bull wonders where his flower is and Gigi proclaims that he's already seen the bees and Mr. Bull groans. Gigi claps her hands and proclaims that it's time to head to the school house on the hill and we get a long sequence of the kids, Mr. Bull and Gigi Gazelle returning to playgroup. Everyone recaps the entire episode as we finally head to the wildflower garden and there are bees present. That's because the wildflower garden has matured within hours. SUZY SHEEP~?! Even better, Mr. Bull's flower hat is an actual flower in the middle of said garden. Yup, it's a real flower with a middle that looks like a shell of a bee. Mr. Bull is so happy with glee that his flower hat got shown. Everyone laughs as the narrator says it all to end the episode at 4:30. A fun little episode as Danny Dog has finally gotten over his fear of flowers for good. Sadly, the fear of heights must continue. *** 1/4 (65%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well, we finally got through the next set of episodes and they were decent. Ironically, the two best episodes of the show featured the two mummies returning! Movie Night was a classic complete with a bad movie, but a great experience involving everyone just having a great time and hearing Suzy and Rebecca burying the movie was awesome. I was burying this movie, this movie has learn nothing and Mr. Potato needs to be cooked well done agin. Igloo was a blast as well with the two mummies appearing at the end. Hopefully my headcanon is true and Mummy Polar Bear is a storm chaser as a gimmick. That is BUYS! What Babies Do is great because Baby Alexander gets to school Peppa Pig for her arrogence and it's always great to see Peppa squirm when it happens. Bonus points for giving Alexander the same cry sound as George's. The rest were all right. The wedding arc has a good start, but the middle was not as funny as I thought it would be as Mr. Raccoon just buried himself and Mrs. Leopard was better, but also looked dumb as well. The kettle joke and George sitting on the cake was funny though. Lenses would have been better if both Penny and Pedro were show from their prespectives instead of just Pedro. The first minute of Wedding Day looked like it was going to be a disappointment, but once the happy crying started; the writers hit a grand slam. This is exactly how I would have booked it: No overwrought speeches, the most fake kiss in history just crushed me and it ended in rain and jumping up and down in muddy puddles. Perfect. Don't try this angle with TaleSpin Seth Rogan, you'll never top Peppa Pig's version. Overall, a really good set and I have two more rants to go. As of this writing I have six more episodes to rant on before Peppa Pig is done at this point. So...

Thumbs up for Wedding Day, What Babies Do, Igloo and Movie Night. Thumbs in the middle for the rest. I'll see you all next time.

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