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Peppa Pig: Series Two #1 Rant

Reviewed: 03/12/2018

Emily Elephant and Richard Rabbit Draws Near! Everyone Draws Near!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Okay; so we head back to Series two as we start the first twelve episodes of the second series as we make bubbles, mysteries, new friends, a scarecrow, and a time capsule; along with Teddy getting the spotlight, a windy fall day, discover rock pools, recycle a lot of stuff (including plots) and end the session at the boat pond. Yeah; welcome to the Cecily Bloom era of Peppa Pig. So; how do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley and Mark Baker; except for Polly's Holiday, which was written by Alison Snowden. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Bubbles: So; we start with episode #53 on the animation paper, as we head to the house on the hill as we zoom inside the kitchen as the Pig family is enjoying orange soda while Daddy Pig reads the newspaper. So, Peppa and George sip their straws in the soda for a while, being as delightfully annoying as possible. Then they proceed to have a contest of blowing bubbles in the soda with a straw and this goes on for a long time as Daddy Pig calls them noisy piggies. Apparently; this is bottomless soda since it never seems to run out when they drink it. Daddy Pig then scolds them for playing with their food. Mummy Pig brings out the container of bubble mixture and Peppa takes it. Peppa is giddy about this and she and George run out of the house with their boots already on. If you cannot guess the final spot right now..you guessed it. So, Peppa is demonstrating how to blow bubbles and George has that look of "you serious about this?". Peppa blows a bubble and it pops. Yawn. So; it's George's turn and he does everything right...except he cannot blow the bubble because his lung cap sucks. This is the same George who blew a paper boat across the duck pond and won the race in The Boat Pond. The bubble bounces back into George's face, it pops and he sneezes before giggling. He was also blushing the entire time and Peppa blames the victim..;AGAIN! Sadly; George didn't cry this time. Out comes the adults in their boots as Mummy Pig suggests dipping it and waving it to make bubbles; which George does with ease. Daddy Pig suggests the same thing; only run down the hill, which George does with ease. Peppa follows as George runs around in a disorganized fashion making bubbles while Peppa is popping them. Peppa does a loud snort because she loves this...and then the bubble mixture container is empty as George tosses it aside and bawls his eyes out, his first one of Series 2. Peppa grabs the container and she and George run up to inform Daddy Pig of the situation. Daddy Pig tells her not to worry because he has a solution: They'll make their own bubble mixture as the family is ordered to find a bucket, soap, and Daddy Pig's old tennis racket. Yeah, really bossy.

So Mummy Pig bails and returns with a bucket, Peppa bails and returns with the squeeze container of dishwasher soap and George bails and returns with Daddy's tennis racket. The narrator is the only one who acts like he's confused. Daddy fills the bucket with water from the out of nowhere faucet near the back door. Peppa squirts yellow soap into the bucket, turning the water lemon yellow (to match the scent) and George kindly gives the tennis racket to Daddy Pig. Daddy Pig dips the racket into the soap water and then proceeds to blow hard and that creates a big bubble. Everyone is in awe of this; I'm not. Then Daddy dips in more mixture, grabs the bucket and runs down the hill making bubbles. Mummy Pig is trying to tell him to look where he is going, but Daddy Pig is acting like an idiot and not looking where he is going. He then trips and falls onto his ass as the bucket mixture flies high into the air and the bucket falls on top of Daddy Pig and splashes the mixture completely onto the ground. The tennis racket disappears forever. Everyone runs in to console him as it's hard to take Daddy Pig seriously, when the bucket looks like a Fez cap. Daddy claims he's fine and then sneezes, which creates a really big bubble. That is not the biggest bubble ever blown since it has to be 150 cubic feet. This looks more like 15 cubic feet at most. The bubble bursts within seconds as Daddy Pig checks the mixture and it's all gone now. Whatever shall they do? I know; the mixture went into the ground and it created a giant muddy bubbly puddle. DING! Peppa jumps up and down in the muddy bubbly puddle as she notices the bubbles coming right out of it. Everyone loves jumping in muddy bubbly puddles to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Just your above average Peppa Pig love in. *** 1/2 (70%).

Emily Elephant : We continue on with episode #54 on the animation paper as we begin this one on the school on the hill as various cars drive in and let off the kids. Everyone is wearing color coded coats, so I guess it's fall as the kids run inside giggling. The then proceed to put their coats on the hook board on the wall below the window. The kids sit down on the floor in front of Madame Gazelle as she addresses the students and introduces us to the official debut of Emily Elephant in a cheese colored coat. Everyone greets her and she looks as awkward as awkward can be. She's shy, you see. Gazelle asks who wants to show Emily where to hang her coat and all the kids are bouncing up and down, wanting to show her where. However; they only need one and it has to be the star of the show, so Peppa will have the honors of course. This was done without fanfare nor incident. Gazelle asks Emily what she would like to do and after some thought, she decides on the building blocks as she goes to the building block table. All the kids then swarm in and sit down with Emily because they want to. This is rather unconfromtable; mostly for Emily as she has no idea what to make of this. Peppa is forcing the issue of building block design -- along with the other kids -- which she should never do on a first time with someone who is shy. They are just making her look more awkward and not letting Emily be Emily. Gazelle nicely tells them to stop helping Emily and let Emily be Emily. Emily stacks the blocks in a steep tower with the higher pieces she used her trunk, which surprises the kids. Then we head outside as the school bell rings and all the kids pop on cue and bail stage right. Except for Emily; because she's still shy at this point. Gazelle asks if Emily wants to go outside and Emily awkwardly says yes. Gazelle recalls the children and asks them to bring Emily outside, they all comply and then everyone runs out of the school with their coat and boots on. Wait; they didn't carry boots when they went inside the first time. Stupid logic break! Of course; the only reason they broke logic and reason is because this episode has to end with everyone jumping up and down in muddy puddles.

So everyone runs down the hill and run around with Emily square in the middle and not sure what to do at this point. They are also making animal sounds and it's just like the narrator to give these kids ideas for game as we proceed to have a contest to see who has the loudest animal noise. Danny Dog and Peppa Pig are the only ones who come even close to being loud and Peppa destroys the competition because she's the star. But, wait? The kids would like Emily to have a go and she blushes and is not sure of herself. The kids insist and even say the word please; so that means Emily must do it. And she does by blowing her nose so hard that all the kids backsplash onto the ground; causing the kids to sit up and be awed by this. Peppa wants Emily to do it again and this time Emily is confident as she blows her trunk and everyone does the backsplash and giggles seconds later. And then she does the backsplash laugh as she is no longer shy. Of course; they all have their boots on so Peppa introduces Emily to her favorite past time: Jumping up and down in muddy puddles. DING! That's Emily's favorite past time to, how convenient! So Peppa breaks the ice, finding an out of nowhere muddy puddle to jump into as Emily follows her lead and Madame Gazelle (with boots) loves this games and joins in for fun. This is the best pre-school teacher ever! Oh; and the all the other kids jump up and down in muddy puddles for fun and giggles. Emily has clearly enjoyed this; so no need for Gazelle to ask her; but she does anyway and Emily loves her new friends as Peppa and company love their new friend back in unison. Emily loves them all as everyone does the backsplash laugh; and in a clear moment of laziness, they forget to add mud spray when they fall back into the muddy puddles. Emily does the backsplash laugh and blows her trunk in giggles to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Started really awkward; but the story got better once they got out into the playground and then the animation became faulty. *** 1/2 (70%).

Polly's Holiday: Moving right along with episode #55 on the animation paper and begins this one on the boring road in Grandpa Pig's Gedo fashion sense car with Grandma Pig, Grandpa Pig and Polly in it's cage, making it's first appearance since Peppa and George screwed the poor parrot's mind. The grandparents are going on holiday and Peppa and George are going to look after Polly in the interm. Isn't this just daring for trouble at the poor parrots' expense? So they make it to the western side of the property and park on the steepest side of the hill once again. Everyone gets out, including Grandpa Pig's suitcase...Oh wait; it's Polly's suitcase. I apologize. Grandma Pig shows Polly and we meet and greet. This is not going to end well for the grandparents, because I remember the first time Peppa and George interacted with Polly and Polly turned into such a cheeky, noisey parrot; instead of just a cheeky parrot. So we head inside as Grandpa Pig and Grandma Pig put the cage and the luggage on the table in the sitting room in that order. Grandma Pig asks George what is in the luggage and George proclaims that it's chocolate cake...as Polly's food. HAHA! That was a good one. It's Rinzmo Bird Seed; with a more artistic logo on the box than the entire show's artwork. Peppa wants to help feed Polly and Grandpa is fine with that as long as she doesn't feed Polly too much. Oh; and Polly can come out of the cage as long as the doors and windows are locked so that Polly doesn't fly away. They say their goodbyes and Polly sounds like it's saying that in a manner that Polly wants the grandparents to get lost. So Peppa is once again trying to make Polly cut repeat promos as George pours out the bird seed into a bowl. I didn't know birds ate like dogs on this show. Peppa then blows George off for pouring all the bird seed into the bowl proclaiming that Polly would get so big that Polly will burst like a balloon. Geez; why hasn't that happened to Daddy Pig yet? POW! OUCH ! Ummm...I'm saying that I think Peppa is full of it here. Polly repeats that same sentence (not my question about Daddy Pig's big tummy) and everyone except Polly does the backsplash laugh. HA! So, then the ice cream bicycle jingle plays and everyone runs out of the house and of course, George forgets to keep the door close and out comes Polly who in turn, flies away. In comes Miss Rabbit on her ice cream trolly bicycle. So we meet and greet as they get four ice cream cones for free because we never see them paying for them. Maybe they won four free ice cream cones at some raffle we never saw in one of the episodes.

The kids' faces are a mess as Peppa scolds George for leaving the back door open; but Daddy Pig insists that Polly has not flew the coop even though we clearly saw Polly flew the coop. So they go inside, and Polly is missing in action. Of course! Polly is not here according to Peppa; Daddy says oh and George, realizing that he's to blame for this, bawls his eyes out. Peppa claims that they have lost Polly and they will be very sad. I think sad is the least of it Peppa, more like cross. It's one thing to mess with Polly's mind in Series one; but losing Polly is much, much worse. Mummy Pig believes that they should check the garden first, and they go out and notice Polly is on a tree branch. Oh come on, now! Mummy clearly saw Polly there before she got into the house and said nothing about it. That was cheeky. Peppa wonders how they are going to get Polly down and Daddy Pig literally lets Mummy Pig hold his ice cream cone as he is going the climb the tree like a stupid idiot. Daddy Pig thinks Polly is his; and Polly repeats his cup of tea promo and flies over to the opposite tree branch, so this means Daddy Pig has to climb below the branch; and Peppa -- the troll that she is -- just has to tell him not to fall out of the tree like he always does. This will not end well for Daddy Pig as Polly is screaming bird seed. So George's sees "redempation" and runs into the house. He then returns with the bowl of bird seed and puts it down in front of the tree; this causes Polly to swoop down and eat the bird seed making Daddy Pig look dumb once again! It sounds like the background music was in an area with lots of flies are present. There we hear Daddy Pig's cell phone ring (called a mobile phone by the narrator) and Daddy Pig is so scared of it that he lets go and falls onto the ground. Somehow, this did not break his back. Daddy Pig answers his phone and it's Grandma Pig on holiday with Grandpa Pig on a table in the middle of the beach. What? You were expecting something more romantic than is? Come on; why not this way? It's much more compelling than the usual stereotypes. Grandma Pig wants to speak to Polly on the phone, Polly repeats the same question Grandma Pig asked and this causes the most painful backsplash laugh attempts ever by the grandparents as Polly does the backsplash laugh. Then the rest of the family joins in to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Daddy Pig is still dumb as usual; but Polly is a clever parrot once again, as usual. This was a fine episode; but it's still really stupid. ** 1/2 (50%).

Teddy's Day Out: Here is episode #56 on the animation paper as we begin this one on the house on the hill with the car facing downhill. We zoom into the kitchen as the picnic basket is on the table; so they are going on a picnic again. The kids are taking their favorite toys as Mummy Pig tells them to look after the toys. Peppa obeys and then the two kids forget to take their toys outside and everyone gets into the car. First; Daddy Pig teases driving the car down the hill; when George suddenly says "dinesaur" and bawls his eyes out. Considering that we never saw them bring out the toys, I assume that this was a troll move on George's part. So, Daddy Pig goes back into the house and comes out with Mr. Dinesaur and tells George to not lose it again. Daddy Pig then asks if they have everything, everyone says yes. Daddy Pig teases driving down the hill and Peppa then yells that she forgot Teddy. Of course! Considering we never saw the kids take their toys out the first time, again; I suggest this is a troll move on Peppa's part. It's on the kitchen table of course as Daddy Pig bails and Mummy Pig scolds. So, Daddy Pig come back with Teddy and gives it to Peppa as we get back in the car. Thankfully; Daddy Pig just drives down the hill and we jump cut to the picnic area somewhere in a deep forest with a yellow recycling can. The car stops and everyone gets out as Daddy Pig calls it so peaceful. Three seconds later we hear the clown horn blaring and it's Mr. Zebra with Zoe Zebra in the yellow post van. Question: Are you allowed to use postal properly when you are off-duty in Great Britian? Because this sounds like law breaking to me. Yes; they are having a picnic and the Pig family must learn to share the spot now. So we meet and greet as this is Mr. Zebra's day off and I should note that Zoe neighs, only it sounds different from Pedro Pony's. So they all go to the table and have one big picnic of eating and drinking. Peppa asks if she and George can take their leave to play with Zoe and Mummy Pig says yes; and the kids all bail with their toys as Zoe has her plush monkey and a straw luggage case.

So, I discover that inside the luggage is a picnic play set, so we cosplay the toys having a picnic. And even in a fake cosplay picnic setting, the ducks have to arrive for their feeding of fake food not approved for their consumpation. It's all very nice, so says Zoe and the ducks are like "screw this!" and walk off, and even the narrator is telling us that the ducks no sold all this. This is good because at least they didn't feed them real food since that would cause moral guardians hate flares to flare up. Nothing good comes out of that. So they cosplay for a while, I need to eat this pretend cake and see if it's any better than the real thing. Mummy calls for the kids to come back to the car; both of them say farewell to Zoe and George bails with Teddy and Peppa bails without Teddy. Get use to this; Peppa doesn't seen to care about that rugged infested teddy bear as much as she claims to. The Pig family gets into the care and drives stage left. Mr. Zebra comes over to Zoe as it's home time for her. Zoe inspects her things and notices that Peppa has forgotten Teddy...AGAIN! So, we head back to the house on the hill as Daddy Pig for once parks on the flat top of the hill this time and has had enough driving for one day. He wants to put his feet up and watch some tele...and Peppa pipes up about Teddy right there. Mummy is not pleased with this because Daddy Pig has to drive back to find it again and Daddy Pig doesn't look too keen on that. Thankfully; here comes the post van with Mr. Zebra and Zoe. Mr. Zebra is not wearing his post hat; but Zoe is. Is that legal in Britian? Anyhow; Zoe gives Peppa a parcel, Peppa opens it to reveal Teddy. Peppa is happy as Mummy Pig tells her to take better care of her things..and Peppa blames TEDDY for wandering off. This is like blaming God for everything. Stupid! Peppa cosplays Teddy apologizing and they all do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. The cosplay at the end was amusing, but Peppa has not learned anything and it shows in future episode. It's time for Teddy to be free, this relationship is not good. ** (40%).

Mysteries: Okay; here is episode #57 on the animation paper as we head to the house on the hill as we head inside the living room with the Pig family watching their favorite television programme: Detective Potato. I should address this now; the narrator pronounces it as "program" like North Americans do; but spells it as "programme". If it is spelt that way; shouldn't it be pronounced as "program-me"? Why is the "-me" part silent? If it is silent, why not just not spell it "programme"; but "program"? It's not like "armor" and "armour" or even "thingy" and "thingie" where the spelling change doesn't effect the pronouncation of the word. This sounds like someone who just wanted to be a piss ant and annoy people. I believe this is Mr. Potatoes' official debut (as Detective Potato, natch) as he is on television with his magifying glass and hat cutting a promo about himself. Everyone is in awe of this as a female potato with a daisy on top of her head as she is complaining because she cannot find the daisy on her head. This is on par with Patrick Star not being able to see his forehead in Spongebob SquarePants. Mr. Potato finds it within three seconds and the female potato is so happy to find it. I don't get why MRA's think this show has no smart men; other than they are sexist toxinbags. Peppa thinks this is easy and George has that blank stare that reads: "Oh, here we go again!". Peppa wants to be a famous detective as Daddy Pig walks out of the room with the kids following because the first step of being a detective is wearing two hats that are so big; and yet somehow manage to fit on George and Peppa's heads without drooping down into their eyes. Peppa wants one of those funniest things that makes everything look big; which is a mangifying glass, according to Mummy Pig. So we head into the kitchen and Mummy Pig goes through the drawers (NOT THOSE ONES~!) and finds the magnifying glass after a hearty snort. Peppa is in awe as Mummy Pig demonstrates how it works by showing how big Goldie is in the conveniently placed fishbowl on the counter. Peppa decides to test the thing by making George's eyes look big. They all giggle, none of means anything because Daddy Pig proclaims that they need a mystery to solve. Peppa calls it a miss-story; so she's not much better in pronouncation than George is. Daddy explains what a mystery is in terms of losing something, it's much more than that, but whatever. Peppa's hypocrisy is on full display when she claims that Mr. Dinesaur is always lost despite many instances when Teddy is lost, which occured in the last episode! George brings out Mr. Dinesaur to prove Peppa wrong.

Peppa then tries Daddy's glasses, but not today since they are not lost either. Peppa calls this not fair because there are no miss-stories. Maybe you should write miss-stories instead, then you can make stuff up and only have to worry about readers who don't like what you write because you make no sense. Kind of me writing fanficition on TaleSpin for instance. Daddy Pig offers to make a mystery for them as we jump cut to Daddy Pig puts a jack-in-the-box, Mr. Dinesaur, Goldie and Teddy. It's also 4 o'clock right now. Strangely; Peppa doesn't call the fish Goldie at this point of the storyline. So Peppa has to remember the four and then once she gives the go-ahead, everyone except Daddy Pig leaves the house and Daddy locks the door so he can hide one of the four objects inside Peppa's bedroom. So after some running up and down the stairs by Daddy Pig, he finally opens the door and everyone else can come into the kitchen as it's clear that Teddy is missing from the table. And it still took Peppa a few seconds before she got it that Teddy is missing. Fitting since it's usually the thing that keeps getting missing all the time on this show. Peppa is proud and proclaims that this is easy; but Daddy Pig reminds her that this is only half the miss-story; the next half is finding Teddy and she doesn't know. Then we discover that Daddy Pig left a pile of cake crumbs onto the floor leading upstairs. So that's why he needed the chocolate cake in series one! Naughty Daddy Pig! He even blames Teddy for eating the cake! Cheeky bastard! Peppa and George follow the crumbs upstairs into Peppa's room. Peppa asks how they can find Teddy now and Daddy tells her to ask some questions. But he only answers in a yes or no fashion. Not a good idea in the real world in most cases; but this thing is set up where it can be accepted as such so there you go. So we ask questions for a while as Teddy is in Peppa's bed clear as day. It takes three questions to solve the case as Peppa giggles and finds Teddy. So that is that and Peppa swears off detective work and just wants to make stuff up. Of course! Everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. At least Daddy Pig was to blame for missing Teddy, unlike all the other times when Peppa was being the idiot. This was fine. ** 3/4 (55%).

George's Friend: So; here is episode #58 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the playground with Mr. Zebra pushing Zoe on the swing, Candy Cat is on the tire swing frame, Pedro is on the slide (no pun intended) along with Emily and Peppa, Danny and Suzy are going to be on the roundabout. George is at the sandpit with Mummy Pig. Daddy Pig swings the roundabout faster and faster with the kids and then we jump cut to Mummy Pig swinging George on a swing. Wait, what? Now; forget that George is afraid of heights, because he was only so because Peppa pushed him way too high like a troll. That's not the logic break. The logic break is that Zoe was on the swing with Mr. Zebra swinging the swing. This makes no sense. So; Rebecca and Richard Rabbit (with his red Mr. Triceratops) open the gate and head in. Miss Rabbit comes in; and then suddenly disappears during the meet and greet. Rebecca wants to swing on the roundabout and Daddy Pig has no problems with that as Rebecca is now on the roundabout. Richard wants in; but the big kids complain because that means that they cannot go fast because Richard will bawl his eyes out. Or something. So, Richard must play with George, which Richard no sells. And yes; he says no in the same way George does. Oh; and Miss Rabbit is back before anyone thinks she was written out by teleport. Miss Rabbit carries Richard over to Mummy Pig where George is standing in front and we meet and greet with dinosaurs. But these little ones hating sharing their dinosaurs. So the adults force the issue to make them share their toys (while believing that this actually works, the cocky fools!) and both kids bawl their eyes out. I'm all for sharing; but you don't instill the value that sharing is a good thing; and instead instil that it is a value that must be done, that only causes resentment. It's like making volunteerism mandatory for Peppa sakes! In comes Rebecca Rabbit, Peppa and Daddy Pig; as Daddy Pig asks what is going on. Bad parenting, that's what is going on. Peppa proclaims that they always do this and Rebecca claims that they are unable to play properly. Maybe if you stopped FORCING THEM to play properly to your stupid standards, maybe they could get along.

So Peppa and Rebecca suggest doing some sandcastles to help them play properly; which is only going to cause more resentment from the little ones. Lots of short snorts and squeaks later, we head to the sandpit. Peppa and Rebecca demonstrate to George and Richard the fine art of making a sandcastle in the sandpit, complete with calm twinkle music. George and Richard do the tapping and pull up as George says "pesto" as usual. Daddy Pig then proclaims that playing together is fun and this is proof. Oh, really; Daddy Pig?! George -- with the proudest smile ever -- takes the shovel and destroys the sandcastle! Richard looks into the hard camera for a split second before he cries. Despite the stupid lesson of this show; the George/Richard interactions are awesome. These two manage to hate each other without showing actual signs of hate. They bawl in unison as the narrator claims that this game has not gone very well. Twenty million viewers might dispute that, Mr. Obvious Narrator. And then, Peppa and Rebecca start blaming each other for this mess! AWESOME! I have now gone from anger and frustration to giggling mirth now. This was great! Daddy Pig breaks it up and I want to have some steam hams with Daddy Pig, wink, wink, nudge, nudge! Oh; and Daddy Pig ain't eating those hams either. Peppa and Rebecca claim that George and Richard cannot play properly, which is ironic considering that these two cannot teach them properly. But Mummy Pig can as she asks George his favorite part of the playground. George proclaims that he loves the see-saw. So, we head to the see-saw as Mummy Pig and George walk in. George is put on the see-saw and George comes down; but cannot get up and almost teases crying again. In comes Richard and Miss Rabbit as Miss Rabbit puts Richard on the opposite end of the see-saw and the little ones play on the see-saw with glee as their bitter feud has come to an end; because Mummy Pig allowed the little ones to choose their play things and not the big ones who thought they were smarter than the little ones. So everyone comes in as we get shots of the little ones enjoying themselves and then everyone sings the See-Saw song, which is also pretty good to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Again; this started off really stupid; but the Richard/George feud was glorious until they just gave up. Call it *** 1/2 (70%).

Mr. Scarecrow: Here is episode #59 on the animation paper as we begin this one on the white house on the hill with Grandpa Pig's garden as the red car arrives with the Pig family inside. Daddy Pig parks on the steepest side of the hill...AGAIN! Daddy honks the horn and out of the house is Grandma Pig as everyone gets out. Peppa and George run down the hill giggling and snorting as we head to the garden to some soily patch of soil with Grandpa Pig standing on it, holding a box of red daisy seeds. George is still calling him Papa Ig at this point during the meet and greet. Grandpa Pig declares that he is making a flower garden; because...Oh; I'm not going to do that joke. So Grandpa puts the seeds on the soil without burying them and then goes to the left to get his shovel. Literally one second later, all the seeds are gone and there's no evidence of someone even stealing them. Are you see those seeds didn't simply sink into the earth and weighed more than the soil; Grandpa? So everyone is confused as Grandpa REPEATS THE SPOT. Never repeat a spot, it makes you a jobber for life. As he's doing this we see the real thief: a brown bird. The brown bird eats the seeds and is exposed by Grandpa Pig as he gets his shovel protesting this outrage, but the brown bird escaped. Peppa pretty much says it all as two more birds steal more flower seeds. Someone needs to call the producers of this seed and make it in a way that it isn't palatable to birds, in the same way antifreeze no longer tastes sweet. Grandpa Pig yells at the birds as they flee into a conveniently placed tree as Grandma Pig walks in, who wants answers to this outrage. Grandpa Pig looks like he is pouting when explaining the situation and Grandma Pig proclaims that this will not work as the three brown birds are eating flower seeds again, which apparently several of them magically appear again. They need a scarecrow; which is a strawman whom scares birds and becomes an unfortune victim of bad arguments and logical fallices. Okay; I made that last one up as Grandpa Pig decides to make one. Everyone bails, including Peppa once she waves goodbye to the birds as if she likes them and gives away the plan.

So we head to Grandpa Pig's shed near a tree on a small hill. We head inside and it looks like any garden you ever saw as Grandpa Pig wants two large sticks and string. There are no sticks in the shed; but there is a ball of yarn in a picnic basket. Peppa and George offer to find them. Next shot; we head outside and Peppa had two large sticks and George has the ball of yarn. Wait; what?! There were no sticks in the shed. An obvious logic break and no one noticed? Grandpa Pig comes out and ties the sticks together in the form of a Christian Cross. Also; Grandma Pig comes out with a yellow sack and straw, which we didn't see in the shed either. Continuity? What's that? Also; the blue duffel bag of old clothes was also not in the shed either when we first saw it. Grandpa makes the head from the straw and puts the sack on the top of the cross. George opens the bag and brings out a flowery dress. Now; I would love to put that as the scarecrows' costume; just to see if the birds flee from it and prove if they are sexists or not. Peppa rejects it claiming that Mr. Scarecrow doesn't want to wear a dress. How do you know, Peppa? Bigot. So; the scarecrow has to wear a green coat with a hat on top of the head. Now it's time to make the face and there is an out of nowhere cans of red and black paint behind Grandpa. Only the red paint was in the shed; so only two things in the entire shed were in fact in the shed. I love that the paint brushes are art brushes instead of painting brushes. So George and Peppa paint the most unscariest face on the scarecrow. It looks like an awkward blank stare...and this is somehow enough for the brown birds to stay far away from the flower bed and stay on the tree! And apparently; there were FIVE birds in the flowerbed and when we go to the tree; there are now EIGHT birds. Continuity? What continuity? So the family pops; but Peppa is now sad because the birds will never have anything to eat and die. But; wait?! Grandma Pig will save the day as she brings out the bird feeder and asks for it to be filled with flower seeds. Grandpa Pig sells and pours flower seeds into the bird feeder; and puts it on the tree branch. So the birds tease and peck at the seeds as Peppa pops for this moment while Grandpa Pig pours seeds onto the flower bed. Everyone laughs as the narrator says it all to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was a mess; but still fun enough. ** 1/2 (50%).

Windy Autumn Day: Next up is episode #60 on the animation paper and head to the house on the hill with the car pointing towards the east. The entire pig family comes out and they all shiver with cold. HAHA! The narrator explains that Peppa is headed to the park...after they run back into the house and come out in their winter clothes. That seems a bit of an overkill to me. Everyone but Daddy Pig gets into the car; since Daddy Pig has to manually put the roof up. Mummy Pig pushes a button to put the heater on. Is it really fall or winter in this story? I don't know now. Daddy Pig gets in as he asks if anyone is warm. If I was in the car; I would overheat at this point. Daddy drives the car down the hill and we instantly have a whiplashing jump cut in the hills where the park is as there is a lot of trees with leaves changing colors as Daddy and Peppa point out. They did not explain why even in the simplest terms; because it was probably too complex and Edmond Elephant is not around at this point of the storyline. The closest they come is to say that it happen when it get colder. Everyone gets out as Daddy Pig has the bouncy spotted white ball and they walk into the colored forest. Then it gets windy and I'm thinking that this show takes place in the Porters Lake area of Nova Scotia. The leaves whip around as Daddy Pig kicks the ball and the kids chase it down a hill and the ball stops in front of Peppa. Peppa kicks the ball and the ball goes forward about five yards tops; and then whooshes back past Peppa and splashes into the duck pond with the three ducks quacking in protest. Peppa sums this up nicely, too. HAHA! Now; we all know what is going to happen next now, do you? If not: Daddy Pig is going to try to bring the ball back to him using a stick and this is the signal for Daddy Pig to fall over and splash into the duck pond as the wind simply blows it out of the pond. Daddy Pig is dumb and cold and wet. Lucky indeed; for everyone involved in making and watching this. The wind gets more violent and it's time to hold onto the hat. George has the ball in his hands and cannot do it; so his hat flies away and he bawls his eyes out on cue. He literally looked towards the hard camera before this, so it was clearly intentional. That was funny. Daddy Pig now has the task of getting back the damn hat and he runs out of the pond in the slowest fashion possible. This is no contest as the hat sticks to the branch of the tree; which means Daddy Pig has to climb the tree and nearly kill himself again for our sadistic pleasure.

Mummy Pig thankfully cuts him off before any more damage can be done to Daddy's reputation (what damage?) as Mummy Pig decides to shake the tree instead. First time; nothing...AND THE ROCKS SAYS NOTHING~! So Mummy Pig tries again and the leaves literally bury her which shocks everyone. And they say Mummy Pig never gets mocked in this show?! Absurd! George's hat falls on Mummy Pig's hat as everyone laughs at Mummy Pig and she blows it off. I think this is the first time Daddy Pig brings up the line that this sort of thing only happened to him. At least it's not Blackberry Bush where you almost landed on your head and then got taunted with Sleeping Beauty reference; so this was in fact funny. Peppa directly calls it a bit funny and Mummy Pig relents. It's not a bit funny; it's actually is funny. You underestimate this humor, Peppa. So they find George's hat and Mummy Pig puts it back on George's head. George holds onto it and smirks as the wind becomes more violent and despite that, no one else loses their hats despite not holding it for the remainder of the episode. How convenient, eh? So we lean into the wind for a long ass whomping time as Daddy no sells because he's heavy, so even he is admitting that he's too fat. Peppa insists on this and Daddy Pig relents as the narrator points out the obvious. Mummy Pig has the ball and Daddy Pig is asking Mummy to join in. Mummy no sells because she might fall over because the wind will stop. Daddy Pig proclaims that this will NEVER happen...and then the wind stops as per the narrator's promo and all three piggies fall backwards into the leaves. HAHA! Mummy Pig laughs and Daddy Pig blows it off as not funny. Riiiigggghhhtttt, Daddy Pig. It was a bit funny and you will relent just like Mummy Pig anyway. Peppa and George get up as Peppa asks what to do next and Daddy Pig proclaims that it's their favorite past time...time! Peppa is not sure of this because there are no muddy puddles to jump up and down in. But wait; there is hundreds of leaves, so let's jump in them! Why not?! So they jump up and down in leaves; causing earthquakes again as Peppa calls this the best autumn day ever. Of course! Cue backsplash laugh and that is that at 4:30 approx. This was a very good episode involving a lot of fun with leaves. *** 3/4 (75%).

The Time Capsule: So; here is episode #61 on the animation paper as we head to the school on the hill and zoom inside as Madame Gazelle is standing while Peppa, Suzy, Candy, Danny, Zoe, Pedro, Rebecca and Emily are sitting down. There is a metal capsule in front of Gazelle as she proclaims that today's playgroup involves creating a time capsule. Gazelle and Peppa pronounce it as cap-soul; instead of cap-sil by the way as a time capsule is something that shows the people of the future how we lived in the past. So; the idea is to put old stuff in it and bury it in the garden, to which Suzy asks: "Will it grow?". I died and the children giggled on cue while Suzy looked completely clueless. Gazelle corrects her as everyone has something to put in the time capsule: comics, stamps, a coin, a rocket ship, a music CD, and a carrot (one guess who suggests this and one guess that the kid blushed). Emily and Candy gave nothing to this capsule as everyone giggles again. Gazelle is fine with all this as Peppa asks what will life be like in the future and Gazelle asks the question back to Peppa. Then we HIT THE DREAM SEQUENCE~! Peppa...I watched the Golden Boots and now I realize that what happened in that special was in fact a wet dream of Peppa's: Living on the moon. At least in this wet dream, everyone is wearing goofy spacesuits that look like their sports outfits, only with cross plasters on their belly buttons. Emily doesn't show up in her dream, but George and Richard do; so in her dreams, Emily doesn't exist. Somehow, Danny Dog is in Peppa's wet dream riding a space rocket around the moon and we return to reality (are you kidding me, you clever clogs?) as Danny is running around the playgroup kids in a circle with the rocket and somehow, Emily is involved despite not being seen in the dream. So, Gazelle brings out an out of nowhere movie camera (the same one Daddy Pig got in Series 1) and films the kids cutting promos about the future of everyone living on the moon, going to Mars and flying in space rocket. 13 years later; we are still waiting for that wet dream to come true en masse. Danny puts the rocket in as Gazelle puts the VHS tape into the capsule. In comes the adults doing their animal sounds. Peppa shows off the time capsule to the adults; which gives Gazelle a chance to give the shovel to Daddy Pig because it's time for him to do some hard labour. Of course! Daddy Pig is confused as usual.

So we head outside, Daddy Pig digs a hole in the ground, they put the time capsule into the hole in the ground and then dig it up. The hole was no more than two feet deep as Peppa wants to dig it up now, and Gazelle proclaims that it will remain in the ground for many years, in the most absurd voice Gazelle could use. Peppa is not happy with this and lets Gazelle know about it. Gazelle has a hearty laugh about it because it's just like Daddy Pig when he was a child, because Madame Gazelle was Daddy Pig's teacher. Exactly how old is Madame Gazelle? She looks as old as Daddy Pig in this show; so what? Something's fishy here because the adult all sound like they are argeeing to Gazelle as if they were ordered to do so. So the adults all created a time capsule and buried it underneath a small tree; which has grown tall and big since then. So Daddy Pig giggles before digging near the tree and strikes metal. He brings out the rusty old metal time capsule and walks back into the school, sounding giddy in the process. Everyone follows him as the capsule is placed on an out of nowhere table. Gazelle tells all the children to stand back; so she has in fact infantilized the adults in this scene. Never a good idea. So Madame Gazelle opens the time capsule and there is an old comic book (Daddy Pig), an tin toy airplane (Mummy Dog), a record (Mummy Sheep) and a carrot (Mummy Rabbit, who blushes on cue. So we found Rebecca's enabler now...). Apparently; Mummy Pony and Mr. Zebra were not around during this; which is odd since we have seen Pedro Pony since this show began in the first Playgroup. Then they find the VHS tape (so this was filmed in the 1980's then, so Gazelle was 18-20 years old...) and she puts it into the VCR (VTR, or whatever). The television shows a B&W picture of the adults as kids. Apparently, Mr. Zebra, Mummy Pig and Mummy Cat were around at this point; but didn't bring anything to the time capsule. Daddy Pig sounds like Daddy Pig trying he's best Simon impression, it failed and yes; he cuts the same promo as Peppa. Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig are shocked by the hand holding scene as everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. So yes folks; this was the beginning of the "Peppa wants to go to the moon" angle that was paid off in The Golden Boots. Yeah. *** 1/4 (65%).

Rock Pools: Here is episode #62 on the animation paper as we begin on a boring road with Grandpa Pig driving his yellow car with Grandma Pig. George and Peppa are in the back seat wearing their swimming costumes as we head for a grassy hill and the car stops. The narrator tells us that they are going to the seaside as everyone gets out. Peppa and George with one shovel and one pail run down the hill and Peppa and George stop on top of a lot of rocks and stones with little sand in them. It would have been funny if they explain how the rocks got there; but they didn't explain it. Peppa asks where is the sand and Grandma Pig declares that there is no sand on this beach. Actually; there is but there is very little of it. Peppa wants to make sandcastles, you see. George then drops the bucket...and then bawls his eyes out! Right in Grandma Pig's face, too goes the sprinkler tears. Grandma Pig grabs George to inform him that there is lots to do on this rocky beach and Peppa is not buying this crap. So Grandpa and Grandma Pig show off the rock pool as per the episode title for the educational stuff of the episode. So we do a zoom in shot of a bubbly pool to see some green plants, small stones and a gold coin that looks too small to be a chocolate coin. Peppa is in awe as she picks up the gold coin and it sparkles. Maybe there is a pirate's treasure and it's time for some pirate treasure hunting; because we have three minutes to kill, so why not? Peppa puts the coin in George's bucket and we move onto the next pool, which Peppa declares that there is nothing special about this one; in the same way I didn't think the Smash Brothers Switch reveal tease was. Grandpa tells them to look deeper and Peppa claims that she sees something special after all. I betcha it's a crab. I check the video as Grandpa Pig puts his hand into the pool and SNAP! OUCH! Ummmm...And no; I didn't say that, it was Grandpa Pig and the crab. Damn; I'm so good. After the worst selling of a crab I have ever seen, Grandpa shakes the crab off his crab; the crab frowns on the sand which causes Peppa to blow it off. And this causes the crab to smile and walk away sideways. What?! And no; I don't mean the sideways part. I mean; the crab responding to Peppa's blowing off. The crab jumps into the next pool as George is now cosplaying a crab, but sadly, the animation is so limited in this show that they cannot make George walk sideways as if their lives depended on it. Peppa joins in the pinching cosplay and Grandpa Pig's selling of this is horrible. I realize that he's faking it; but good faking requires the illusion that he is in mortal fear of being pinched. Not good acting by the way.

Peppa does her usual singsong taunt as Grandpa tells them to shoo (in a nice way I might add) and go back to their little rock pools. So we head to the next rock pool to find a vanilla sea shell with yellow trim among all the lines and edge. Peppa and Grandma do the spot where if you put the shell to your ear, you can hear the ocean. It's not totally true since any type of shell shape can get the same effect anywhere, and not just at the sea. Sadly; Edmond Elephant is not here right now. Grandma asks George to find one and he finds a rock; and is much happier to find a rock than Charlie Brown getting a rock at Halloween. George is like "oh" and then drops it hard on the sand. The rock splits open and there is a shell's image inside the rock; like it was half of a die to make plastic shells. It's actually a fossil as Grandpa Pig explains that it's the remains of an animal; implying that the animal is dead. That makes the "cutting the head off" reference in Babysitting even funnier in hindsight as George cosplays the half rock as Mr. Dinesaur. Peppa squeaks and giggles as finally the real plot of the show begins as Grandma Pig find a rock pool with a little fish inside of it swimming and not happy; because she's trapped and it will take forever for the sea to bring her back, time the fish doesn't have because the water pool might dry up and the fish will die. How does Grandpa Pig know the fish is female? So Peppa takes George's bucket, scoops up the fish and carries it on the giant rock where the ocean is. The kids say their goodbyes to the fish and dump her into the sea, where she will now be eaten by sharks, whales and other assorted animals of the sea, because that is how real life is. To be fair to Peppa; it would have been just as cruel to leave the fish to die in the rock pool, so yeah. The fish does some awesome jumping and laughing that sounds like a dying seagull, and she dives hard into the sea and splashes the entire Pig family present. HAHA! Peppa loves rock pools as everyone does the lightest backsplash laugh possible to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was another really fun episode; but that fish is dinner right now. *** 1/2 (70%).

Recycling: Here is episode #63 on the animation paper as we head to the house on the hill with the car pointing down in the opposite direction while Mr. Bull's trash truck of doom arrives from the western side of the hill backwards. Mr. Bull's job description is that he's a "bin man" who collects all the rubbish. This has to be his debut because the narrator talks about it being early morning and Mr. Bull has to be quiet, but he sucks at it as he tosses the trash into the garbage truck while making as much noise as possible. This is the exact same joke Huey Duck did in Feats Of Clay, only the narrator is cutting the promo here. Ironically; the pig family is already awake in the kitchen having cereal and apple juice. Peppa wonders who and what the noise is about and Daddy claims that it's Mr. Bull the binman. So the kids and Daddy Pig go outside as we have a meet and greet. Mr. Bull waves farewell and doesn't appear to be all that well as he was coughing a bit during this before leaving. Mr. Bull drives down the hill as the kids and Daddy Pig come in the house with the trash bin proclaiming that Mr. Bull has done the business. So; it's time to clean the table and Peppa wants to help. Peppa grabs the apple juice bottle and teases throwing it in the rubbish bin (trash can); but Mummy Pig cuts her off because glass bottles can be recycled, you see. Peppa asks what is recycling because it could mean bicycling backwards. Daddy explains that the stuff that cannot be recycled go in the rubbish bin; but the stuff that can goes into various recycle bins. Mummy Pig shows off the recyling bins as the red one is for paper (newspapers), the blue one is for tin cans (recycled metals) and the green one is for bottles (plastic and glass). So where does the apple juice bottle go? Peppa ponders this over and proclaims that it goes in the green bin. Correct! So, George wants to recycle something and Mummy Pig suggests Daddy's newspaper, which Daddy is still reading at his seat at the kitchen table. Daddy wants him to wait one minute...which is literally ten seconds before he finally gives George the newspaper. HAHA! So George puts the newspaper into the right bin after Mummy Pig informs him of that.

Next up; since they are running out of room to put anything more into the bins, it's time to head to the recycling center. If you cannot guess who runs the recycling center, then you have not watched this show nearly enough yet. So everyone gets out the house as Mummy Pig has the bin of bottles and shakes them, Peppa has the bin of tin cans and shakes them, George has the bin of newspapers and shakes them, while Daddy Pig has...a smile on his face and doesn't shake, sadly. So everyone gets into the car and Daddy Pig drives down the hill onto the boring road as we are playing this music in the background with the shaking sound in the background at various points. Peppa then proceeds to sing the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM about recycling to kill time. They shake the bins for fun and wasting time. Finally, we make it to the recycling center with guess who is running the recycling crane? Yes, Miss Rabbit. At least the car parked inside the recycling center instead on the steepest side of the hill this time...but this would prove to be even worse in the grand scheme of things. Miss Rabbit apparently has a fetish for recycling old rusty cars by invoking a demolition derby with a giant magnet crane. Still better than being an ammosexual, though. If you don't know who that is and you're a gun owner, it's a really bad sign. So; Miss Rabbit is happy to see them and the family goes to the giant versions of the recycling bins as Peppa and George put the stuff into their proper place in the recycling bins. Daddy Pig thinks this is all done and they can go back home; but we still have a minute left because it's now time for Miss Rabbit to steal Daddy Pig's car in a clueless attempt to recycle it! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Even better, since Peppa Pig is the star of the show and all, the narrator refers to the car as Peppa's car! As if Peppa OWNS the damn car! That made me laugh. Peppa shouts down Miss Rabbit as everyone backs up and Miss Rabbit finally relents and lets the car down because it's not old and rusty. The family gets into the car as they love the new car and recycling, ending in laughter to end the episode at 4:30 approx. The finish of this was tres funny; but I would not mess with Miss Rabbit anymore. Using the recycling crane is merely a gateway to having a gift shop on the moon with her. **** (80%).

The Boat Pond: So; here is episode #64 on the animation paper, and we begin at the duck pond as it's clearly spring now as the three yellow ducks are swimming and having a good time. In comes Peppa with her sailing boat, George with a windup toy boat, Daddy Pig with his newspaper and Mummy Pig with nothing of note. Peppa greets the ducks and proclaims that they have no bread for the ducks; but something more fun: their model boats. The kids dump the boats into the pond and it splashes on the ducks; and the ducks sound not pleased with this. Mummy Pig grabs the boat and winds it up because it works like clockwork. This makes George so giddy that Daddy Pig is telling George to put the boat into the water before the boat stops. George puts the boat in the water much more gently this time and the clockwork boat goes across the pond and bumps into the western edge of the pond causing the clockwork boat to stop. George giggles on cue. Peppa wants her sailboat to be wound up; as if she hasn't used a model sailboat at anytime in her life; Mummy Pig tells her the sailboat needs wind and there isn't any. Peppa is not happy about this; so Daddy Pig channels Mr. Wolf before Mr. Wolf ever makes an appearance. Surprisely; Daddy Pig doesn't blush beet red while doing this; but the ducks get a wind treatment as the sailboat rides along the water and makes it to the western edge of the pond like Georges. In from the western front, comes Mummy Sheep and Suzy Sheep with her speedboat which works by pushing a red button. We meet and greet for a while as the boat is battery operated. So, Suzy starts it up as the other kids are impressed and Suzy puts the boat on the pond and the boat speed away past the other boats and is stopped by a duck's ass. The duck hated that of course and Suzy apologizes on cue. The duck doesn't sound happy, so in comes Danny Dog with his paddle wheel boat along with Granddad Dog. Oh; the paddleboat was hand made by Granddad Dog and everyone is in awe over this. Daddy asks how it works and it's steam powered; so we push the convenienly placed lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and the boat chases the ducks for a while.

As in, literally chasing them out of the pond. What a cheeky boat Danny Dog has?! From the western front comes Miss Rabbit and Rebecca Rabbit as she squeaks and is the only one who doesn't have a boat with her. The boat have know started up again and have total dominance on the pond as the ducks are forced to watch on. And we wonder why Mrs. Duck stole Peppa's boots in The Golden Boots?! Daddy Pig has a solution in that he'll use his newspaper page. He shuffles through the pages to see which one he doesn't care about and he picks the fashion page and this causes Mummy Pig to gasp in horror. So why didn't you bring your Ezza magazine with you? So Daddy relents and makes a boat out of the business page. Investors of this show cancel their investments to this show, which failed anyway. Rebecca is impressed by Daddy Pig's handiwork and she puts the boat into the water and it floats gracefully. So much so that George wants one and so Daddy Pig relents and loses the sports page. Wow; I thought that page would be second to last in order. George gets a paper made boat from Daddy Pig and now everyone wants one and Daddy Pig has to do it because they are kids, you see. Daddy Pig makes more boats and there is no more newspaper; so yes, even the Fashion page was used, so Mummy Pig's shock and appallement is completely pointless now. They put the boats on top of the pond as Daddy Pig walks to the western edge as we have a blow off race as everyone blows their newspaper boats. Take one guess who wins? One guess, it's too shocking. SURPRISE~! It's Antonio Inoki~! POW! OUCH! Ummm...It's Peppa Pig; because she's the star of the show. Oh wait; it's not her. The sports page one made it to the edge first; so George is the winner. The one with the least lung cap to blow his boat forward. That was impressive. So the kids all celebrate as Peppa loves paper boats the best and everyone scatters in various directions as Peppa and George wave goodbye to the ducks as they re-enter the pond. I cannot buy the narrator claiming that they loved the boats; but they love having the pond back and are slow burning towards The Golden Boots as we end the episode at 4:30 approx. A really fun episode that turned into the ducks being pushed around. Peppa will regret that someday. *** (60%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; this was mostly a fun ride. Some of the episodes annoyed me but came back and became awesome (Emily Elephant, George's Friend), some annoyed me because Peppa is dumb (Teddy's Day Out), some were just there and Recycling was okay until Miss Rabbit tried to trash Daddy Pig's car. Overall; it was a fine affair with some really sloppy spots in a few of the episode. I really don't have much to say otherwise. So...

Thumbs up for Recycling, thumbs down for Teddy's Day Out and thumbs in the middle for the rest and I'll see you all next time.

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