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Peppa Pig: Series Two #2 Rant

Reviewed: 03/18/2018

No.

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Okay; so we head back to Series two as we start the next twelve episodes of the second series as we have bed times, eye test, yard sales, tiny creatures, traffic jams, balloon rides, George's birthday, sports day, colds, garages and we head to Daddy Pig's office. Yeah; welcome to the Cecily Bloom era of Peppa Pig. So; how do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley and Mark Baker; except for Swimming, which is written by Chris Parker. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Traffic Jam: So; we start with episode #65 on the animation paper, as we begin this one on the white house on the hill with Grandpa Pig coming up the hill from his garden with a wheelbarrow of potatoes. We head into the kitchen with Grandma Pig at the table cutting up carrots and onions for soup, apparently as the narrator explains that this is a special lunch for the Pig family as Daddy Pig, Mummy Pig, Peppa Pig and George Pig are visiting. Grandpa Pig proclaims that you can never have too many potatoes. Well; it's not much worse than too much bacon, so I guess this is sort of true. Grandma Pig relents as long as the potatoes are in the oven. Grandpa Pig assures her nothing will go wrong because it's only 11 o'clock. So we head on the boring road stage left with Daddy Pig and family in the car. Mummy Pig is driving of course; with Daddy Pig looking at a map. Mummy Pig is complaining because she's certain that they will be late and Daddy Pig doesn't buy that. Peppa isn't buying what Daddy Pig is selling, which is a whole new plan to beat the traffic...and they are forced to stop because there is a traffic jam. Of course! Naturally, they are behind Granddad Dog's tow truck, so we meet, greet and exchange notes with Granddad Dog and Danny Dog for a while. This traffic jam apparently lasts for two straight hours (was there a really bad car crash this time around?) as it's one o'clock back in Grandma's kitchen as the table is already set and the potatoes are out of the oven. Sadly; they need more cooking as the telephone rings on the stove no less! Grandma Pig answers the phone and it's Daddy Pig calling to inform her that they are going to be late...AGAIN! Grandma Pig decides that Grandpa Pig is late with the potatoes and he is not amused by this. So, Grandma Pig hangs up and Grandpa Pig takes the wheelbarrow and himself back out to the garden for more potatoes as Grandma Pig isn't exactly liking this. Back to the traffic jam of death; as Peppa is whining and Daddy is out of options. But, wait?! Mummy Pig backs up the car and goes left in a conveniently placed fork in the road. Peppa and Danny Dog wave bye bye to each other and Mummy Pig takes the shortcut. 2:1 odds that she'll end up in the exact same spot as she was before she took the damn shortcut. This shortcut is bumpy and goes through the area where the duck pond is. This would have been funnier if the footage with the duck pond was reversed. So they make it to the main road and...

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh boy! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Damn; I'm so good as Peppa pretty much says it all. So, we head back to Grandma's kitchen as it's 2 o'clock and the baked potatoes are so ready, they are a large hill in the middle of the table. Everyone is ready, except for the family not being here as the phone rings. Grandpa Pig answers it this time as Daddy Pig claims that they are close to their house; but the traffic is moving as slow as a slow snail, according to Peppa. Ah; so she did see the Turbo movie and television series once in her lifetime. The food is going to get cold and cold baked potatoes are awful, says I! So; Grandpa Pig has a plan as he brings in the wheelbarrow and Grandma Pig loads up the potatoes in it. The grandparents walk out of the house with a picnic basket and a wheelbarrow of baked potatoes because they are bringing the lunch to the traffic jam. Well; you need a lot of people to feed that huge pile of baked potatoes. Peppa notices the grandparents coming and asks if there is enough for everyone in the traffic jam. Grandpa Pig says yes as we have a picnic on the side of the road as we see Mummy Pony, Pedro F'N Pony, Mr. Zebra, Zoe Zebra, Candy Cat, Mummy Cat, Danny Dog, Granddad Dog and Miss Rabbit. Strangely, no Rebecca nor Richard Rabbit joining in as Grandpa Pig proclaims that you can never have too many potatoes and everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. We sadly never find out why there was a traffic jam; which implies that someone crashed and died. I don't know weither to be pissed off or sad. Call it *** 1/4 (65%).

Bedtime: We continue on with episode #66 on the animation paper as we head to the house on the hill BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) as we zoom into the kitchen with the Pig family at the kitchen table slurping their favorite meal in this show. Daddy Pig yawns and Mummy Pig is surprised by this as Daddy Pig admits that he's tired since it has been a long day. Peppa and George claim that they are not sleepy and beg to go play in the garden, and Mummy Pig relents as long as they come inside for their bath afterwards. The kids giggle and run out as magically, they have their boots on. You know what that mean now, don't ya? So; it's six o'clock and there are lots of muddy puddles. You can guess what happens next as they jump up and down in them and do the backsplash laugh. That is not the big puddle in the world, Peppa; unless you live in an area where vicious mudslides occur. Surprisely; they are not completely covered in mud like in the very first episode of this series. Peppa and George are called by Mummy and Daddy Pig as Peppa shows off her muddy side and she's so disappointed now that she has to take her bath. She asks if they can play a little bit longer, Daddy says no, the kids take their boots off and run into the house. So we are in the lobby as Peppa answers Daddy's question about being sleepy, they are not. Everyone heads upstairs and when George and Peppa go up, the camera is literally shaking. But when the adults go up, the camera is not shaking. The adults are sleepy as we head inside for the bubble bath as the kids are still giggling and not sleepy. The kids do some splashing for a while, and somehow, no one outside of the kids gets wet. The logic is completely fuzzy here. So, bathtime is over in spite of Peppa wanting to clean up some more and we have them cleaning their teeth by brushing and a lot of foam ensues. Peppa wants more cleaning; but Mummy Pig says that it's time for bed time stories and the kids love that, so it's off to bed as Peppa seens to find a way to snort ten times in ten seconds. The narrator is wasting time pointing out the toys being tucked in for the night. Daddy asks if they are sleepy and Peppa pushes the covers because that is a no and she has books. Mummy Pig demands one story; so, it's the Red Monkey book with yellow covers. Daddy sit down in a chair conveniently placed and we begin reading the Red Monkey book for a while; and gets cut off by Mummy Pig's yawning. HAHA! The kids giggle. YAY!

One paragraph in and we have only a minute left in this episode. Basically, the story is exactly the same one Peppa and George had done in real life! Geez; I wonder why George and Peppa like that story. This story somehow cures insominia as the kids are fast asleep on cue, snoring. At least Daddy Pig didn't call them his little piggies when they turn out the lights this time as the adults slowly head downstairs and into the sitting room. Daddy Pig and Mummy Pig sit on the couch as Daddy Pig turns on the television as we watch Mr. Potato dressed up like a bank robber. The announce claims that Mr. Potato does all this and never sleeps; prompting the adults to fall asleep as the narrator says it all while we zoom out to AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) to the house on the hill to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Wow; this was probably the shortest review I have ever done and it was perfectly fine. ** 1/2 (50%).

Sports Day: Moving right along with episode #67 on the animation paper as we head to the school on the hill as we pan down to see balloons and a track & field area with all the kids, almost all of the adults (minus Mummy Dog and Mr. Pony) and of course, Madame Gazelle with a yellow megaphone and red flag. The kids are giggling as today is sports day. Madame Gazelle proclaims that the first event is running as all the kids make it to the starting line with their sport shoes on. This causes Peppa and Suzy to blow each other off for a long ass whomping time as we ready, steady, go; and the kids all run off, leaving the two cocky trolls behind. HAHA! I should note that Britian still uses imperial measurements; since Peppa claims that she can run at 100 miles per hour. I believe that is her mouth. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Suzy claims that it's a hundred million for her as Daddy Pig yells at them to stop this BS and run! It's time to run, run, run as Rebecca Rabbit has the lead and wins the race with Danny Dog in second, Candy Cat in third, Zoe Zebra in fourth, Pedro Pony in fifth, Emily Elephant in sixth, and Suzy Sheep is in dead last with Peppa in seventh. Because the star of the show is so important that she cannot be in last place in anything. There is a close up shot of the trophies, which looks like gold plated wine glasses with handles on them and each has a different symbol on them. Rebecca wins the star one by the way and she blushes on cue as everyone has running shoes on for some reason, including the adults. So, Peppa and Suzy blame each other for this terrible showing, because they cannot keep their beaks shut. Daddy Pig breaks this up by claiming that it's all about taking part and not winning. So; why have trophies for the winners then? So next up is the long jump and apparently, only two contestents are allowed, Richard and George. George and Richard giggle as Peppa takes George away from the sand pit and consoles him. George is like, okay; and it's ready, steady, go~! George runs and jump high into the air and doesn't even get halfway across the sandpit. But Richard cannot win this event, can he?

Richard's turn and he doesn't bother to step back and do a run as Peppa thinks Richard has lost this one by default. Ready, steady, go~! Richard jumps over George, lands at the left edge of the sandpit and wins the event! Screw you, Peppa; you troll! Richard gets the confused symbol trophy and George bawls his eyes on when Richard giggles. That's the last time he takes advice from Peppa as Peppa gives him the advice of taking part instead of winning. George is not exactly buying this as the next event is the relay race which involves the adults taking part. Daddy Pig wants in; but Peppa is not thrilled because Daddy Pig's running sucks worse than Dino Bravo. Or something. Peppa doesn't like this because of DADDY'S BIG TUMMY~; but Daddy Pig thinks he can and fails to even come close to touching his toes. Yawn, whatever. Peppa accepts him on the condition that he runs very fast. Daddy Pig promises as we head to the starting line as the adults start. I should note that the batons are pronounced "bat-tans"; not "ba-tons" here as Madame Gazelle proclaims that it's ready, steady, go~! Daddy Pig gets into the lead instantly, with Miss Rabbit in second, Doctor Elephant in third, Mummy Cat in fourth, Granddad Dog, Mummy Sheep and Mr. Zebra tied for fifth and Mummy Pony is in last time. For the moment. Logic break; we cut to the kids cheering on and then when we go back to the adults, Mummy Sheep and Mr. Zebra was somehow in second place and fourth place before bouncing backwards. Daddy Pig hands the baton to Peppa first, which means Daddy Pig did his job....and then Peppa just stands there while everyone gets their batons and races for their lives. And MRA's accuses Daddy Pig is the only one being dumb?! Absurd! Daddy Pig yells at Peppa to stop praising him and race for her life! Peppa gets it and runs as Emily Elephant is in first, Danny Dog is in second, Rebecca Rabbit is third, Candy Cat is fourth, Pedro is fifth, Zoe is sixth, Suzy is seventh and Peppa is dead last. Poor Danny Dog; he's the best runner to never win a trophy and that mades me very sad.

So Emily Elephant wins with Candy Cat making it to second place, Danny Dog is third, Rebecca Rabbit is fourth, Zoe is fifth, Suzy is sixth, Pedro is seventh and Peppa is in last place. Okay; I was mistaken. Emily gets a star trophy and everyone except Peppa cheers for her. So, yes; the new pupil wins her first trophy of her career. Great! Peppa tosses the baton and sulks in defeat as Daddy Pig assures her everything is fine as long that the motor mouth doesn't overloaded her humming bird rear end. Oh wait; I made that last part up. But there is one more event to come: The tug-of-war. It's of course a gendered affair with boys VS. girls and there are only three boys to tug, so there you go. Ironically; Richard Rabbit is not there, along with Rebecca Rabbit and Emily Elephant, so this is basically a losers tug of war to make sure that only three kids at the most go home empty-handed. So Danny thinks the boys will win; but Suzy thinks the girls will win, which assures us that this will be a draw. So; ready, steady, go~! Everyone pulls like mad as the crowd cheers on the kids and the rope loosens and breaks causing the white cloth to land right in the middle. That means the event is a draw and everyone who didn't win a trophy has won the event. YAY! Danny Dog finally won his trophy, by not winning nor losing the event. Shut up Homer Simpson; no one cares about your promos anymore! Steam hams on the other hand...Everyone gets a trophy as Peppa loves it and everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Great event, silly pointless finish. *** (60%).

The Eye Test: Here is episode #68 on the animation paper and we begin on the house on the hill and the back door opens. Out comes Peppa, George and Pedro F'N Pony jumping up and down and then run down the hill. They proceed to jump up and down in muddy puddles for a while before Pedro runs to the next puddle, slips and falls on his ass losing his glasses in the process. Sigh. Pedro gets up and walks away stage left as we cut to the glasses landing on the grass. George finds the glasses with ease because he can see very well without them; but Pedro clearly cannot. George then proceeds to put them on and smirk as Peppa calls him silly and takes the glasses away; giving them back to Pedro Pony. Peppa asks why he needs to wear glasses and Pedro explains that his optician told him that he needs to. Peppa at least pronounces optician correctly as Pedro explains that his father is a optician, a doctor who helps with your eye sight. Peppa believe that Daddy Pony looks inside Pedro's head; which is sort of insulting considering how absent minded Pedro can be. Pedro corrects her; so Pedro isn't THAT stupid. Pedro decides to give Peppa an eye test and Peppa does the eye test as it's clear Pedro is playing with her mind now as this eye test proves absolutely nothing. So after closing one eye and seeing George and closing both eyes and seeing nothing; Pedro concludes that Peppa needs glasses and Peppa is surprised by this. It's now home time as Mummy Pig and Mummy Pony come out to inform Pedro that it's time to go home. Suddenly; out of nowhere, both Mummy Pony's car and Daddy Pig's car appear pointing down the hill. Pedro's car is purple by the car as Mummy Pony and Pedro get into the car and drive home while Mummy Pig, Peppa and George wave farewell to Pedro and that is that. The pigs all skip into the sitting down as Daddy Pig is at his chair reading the newspaper, while Peppa explains that she needs glasses. Will that come with a free personality transplant? Probably not. Mummy Pig is not buying this because this is Pedro Pony we are talking about here. Mummy Pig calmly explains that no one can see anything when their eyes close; meaning Pedro made Peppa look like an idiot. Daddy wants to know what is going on here and Peppa explains the situation. Daddy Pig decides that Peppa should see an optician; just in case Pedro's trolling wasn't all trolling and stuff. Peppa wants to go now; but George no sells the eye test and we laugh at him.

Scene change to the town as we see Granddad Dog, Danny Dog, Candy Cat and Mummy Cat walking on the sidewalk in opposite directions. So we head into the optician's shop with Peppa, Mummy Pig and Daddy Pony in his debut basically. Daddy Pony wears a lime green sweater as he tells Peppa to sit down. Peppa sits down in the optician's chair and we begin the eye exam. So Peppa is given special glasses with look like bottle cap lens with a ruler sticking on top. So Peppa has to look at an eye chart with them with letters and Peppa reads them all slowly with ease. Next chart is numbers and I must say that having a pointer makes this all too easy for Peppa to get right. Next chart (all pull down projection screens I might add) is colors and Peppa easily gets all of them right. Although that orange looks more brown than orange, but Peppa's eye sight is nigh perfect at this point. So, Daddy Pony bails to check the results as we pick out glasses and try them using the mirror of vanity for a while. The rainbow glasses look awesome; but not funny. The next ones are too big, even for me. Peppa loves the heart shaped glasses; but it makes her look like a tool. Peppa and Mummy giggle as Daddy Pony comes back with good news: Peppa has perfect eye sight and needs no glasses. Dammit! Those rainbow glasses were awesome. By the way; on the clipboard it reads: 410 86 .025 0 0.4 =. Peppa Pig is crushed; because she wanted glasses so badly. Mummy Pig is laughing all the way to the bank on that one. So am I; and Pedro Pony finally looks like the smart one of this episode. However; Daddy Pony also sells sunglasses and that's just fine regardless of eyesight, I guess. Peppa is overjoyed by this as she looks in the mirror, calling it fantastic. She hopes it's sunny every day; which is bad because it kills the muddy puddles gimmick. Daddy Pony and Mummy Pig do the backsplash laugh as Peppa Pig follow in kind to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Pedro Pony is also laughing; but for an entirely different reason. **** 1/4 (85%).

Granddad Dog's Garage: Okay; here is episode #69 on the animation paper and we begin this one at Granddad Dog's gas station and garage complete with the cheese tow truck and new car wash. Standing in front of the shop is Granddad Dog and Danny Dog as the Pig Family's car come in and Daddy Pig stops the car while honking the horn. We meet and greet for a bit as gasoline is petro in Britian as Granddad Dog is showing off his garage toys including the smallest car wash I have ever seen. Daddy Pig just wants two ice lollies (ice pops in North America) and Granddad Dog is disappointed as hell. But customers are customers and Daddy Pig gets two ice lollies for the kids. Oh well, better luck next time Granddad Dog, which I bet will happen within the next three minutes. Did I just say....oh, never mind. And yes; Granddad Dog did get paid since there is a gold coin in his right hand when he waves farewell to the car driving off. So we cut to the boring road with Daddy Pig driving the car. Yes, Mummy Pig, George and Peppa are in the car in case anyone thought I forgot. George and Peppa lick their ice lollies as Peppa and Daddy Pig do the promo about the car loving them as Daddy Pig honks the horn and the car breaks down and stops, just like that. Daddy Pig tries to restart the car and car is like "screw you, I like Vriginia, you UMBC fan!"; so Mummy Pig rings in Granddad Dog with the cellphone of doom. Jump cut to Granddad Dog's garage and jump cut to inside the tiny office as the phone rings. Granddad Dog answers the phone and Mummy Pig explains the situation. Granddad Dog and Danny Dog are giddy about this because there is some resucing to do; so they leave the office and get into their tow truck, which is now on the opposite side of the building near the car wash after being on the other side at the beginning of the episode. Animation continuity is not this show's strong suit, methinks. So they drive to Daddy Pig's car and then get out after saying "to the rescue!" Granddad Dog and Danny Dog meet and greet again as Granddad Dog gets out and checks the engine. Daddy Pig asks if it's serious, it's not because they ran out of petro. To be fair; Mummy Pig didn't notice either and trusting the kids to know is stupid. So Granddad Dog proclaims that there is lots of petro at his garage, and he proceeds to tow the back of the car back to the station, which looks mighty awkward.

So the car is put back down as the gas tanks and Granddad fills up the tank with gas. In comes Mummy and Suzy Sheep in their car. They stop to meet and greet with Peppa as Peppa explains the situation, Suzy is like "okay" and Mummy Sheep drives away stage left as Suzy waves goodbye. Peppa waves back as we jump cut to Mummy Sheep driving on the boring road to the west. Suzy is giggling and then suddenly the rear left tire (tyre in Britian) bursts and goes flat. Okay; who left that invisible pin on the road?! Mummy Pig checks the tyre and it's out of air; so it's time for Granddad Dog to rescue them as Mummy Sheep brings out her cell phone, which is the exact same one the Pig family has. So we basically repeat the sequence, with less dialogue and more Peppa Pig getting into the tow truck. To the rescue~! I'm surprised George didn't join in this one as we head to where Mummy Sheep's car is and meet and greet again. So we tow the car back to the garage and Granddad Dog refills the tires, but forgets to repair the tire. I guess this show takes place in a world where no-flat tires have yet to be invented. In comes Grandpa Pig and Grandma Pig in a yellow car which has the same roof features as Daddy Pig's car. We meet and greet as Grandpa Pig's car doesn't require air in the tires nor petro in the tank; but it does need a car wash even though it looks spotlessly clean. He just wants to try out the new car wash; because he is curious. We discover that the car wash is run by a mainframe computer that talks in a woman's voice. The car wash has a conveyer belt as the voice declares this the car wash of the future as Grandpa Pig's car gets car washed. Then the polisher goes on top of the car and the computer conveniently malfunctions. Something tells me Grandpa's car is a bit too tall to clear the car wash. Grandpa Pig panics because the computer is broken. Granddad Dog sucks at mending computers; so Peppa offers Daddy Pig to mend the computer, which is continuity from Mummy Pig At Work, grumble, grumble. Daddy Pig is in denial of this; but Granddad Dog don't care. So Daddy Pig pushes the red screw button on the right side of the screen to switch it off and then pushes it again to switch it on; causing the car wash to work and that is that. Everyone pops as Peppa says it all; causing everyone to do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Very fun episode with lots of mending cars and car wash. When in doubt, switch it off and then switch it back on. *** 3/4 (75%).

Jumble Sale: So; here is episode #71 on the animation paper at the school on the hill as it's raining and the roof is in really bad shape, so much so that inside, the ceiling is dropping water droplets. The bucket is collecting the drops as Madame Gazelle informs all the big kids that they are going to have a Jumble Sale; which is a Rummage Sale here in North America. Basically; the kids have to bring something to the Jumble Sale and the money goes to fixing the new roof; because in this world, there is no government and education is in the private sector. Peppa asks what to bring and Gazelle states that it can be something that they do not use anymore as Mummy Pig, Daddy Pig, Mummy Cat, Mummy Sheep, Mr. Zebra and Mummy Pony arrive. Wait; so Miss Rabbit and Mummy Dog aren't here yet? Gazelle comes for home time and the kids bail as Gazelle tells them to bring their old junk for the Jumble Sale tomorrow. So it's next day at the house on the hill as we head inside Peppa's room and to that toy basket of toys. Peppa has to choose only one toy to help with the leaking roof of doom and Peppa choses...Mr. Dinesaur. You troll! George rightfully bawls his eyes out on cue. Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig talk her down and Peppa Pig is not happy; but relents. Daddy Pig suggest the jack-in-the-box and Peppa is perfectly fine with that; as long as Daddy Pig gives something to the sale, which confuses Daddy Pig. So we head down into the sitting down and...What the hell happened to Daddy Pig's chair?! It's torn and springy now as the television is playing Mr. and Mrs. Potato playing tennis. Mummy Pig is giving away one of her hats; while George is giving away the bouncy ball. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The bouncy ball was awesome, George. Give away Teddy; it's not like Peppa takes good care of that raggedly thing anyway. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Peppa then offers to give away the television and Daddy protests this and Peppa agrees with him because it's too useless. That was funny. Next up; Daddy smelly slippers, which George foolishly sniffs at. Yuck! The slippers are off the list, including Jericho's. So Peppa bounces on Daddy's old chair which is springy and fly infested now. Sounds reasonable to me; although I would love to enough how that poor chair got to be in such a bad shape when it looked brand new in every single other episode it was in. This has to be a logic breaking chair, there's no other explaination for it. Daddy is protesting this, claiming that it's an antique and Peppa asks what is an antique. It means old; which is perfect for the Jumble Sale. Daddy Pig is dumb. Mummy Pig rightfully comes him out on him and his claims of mending the chair and selling it as well.

So Daddy Pig gives away a pair of stylized socks that Grandma Pig made for him and everyone is fine with it; except for me because those socks are too nice to be in this Jumble Sale. So the doorbell rings and George answers the door. It's Madame Gazelle asking for the stuff for the Jumble Sale. She also has a blue truck which is parked on the flat side of the hill, thank you. Peppa brings out a box of stuff and Mummy Pig secretly manages to get the old chair away from Daddy Pig and Madame Gazelle is perfectly fine with all this. Gazelle gets into her truck and drives down the hill as Peppa points out the obvious to us. Mummy Pig tells Peppa not to tell Daddy because it's their own little secret. So; we head to the school on the hill as everyone comes in for the Jumble Sale. We head inside and see a lot of lovely items including a broken computer, socks, bottles of soda, chocolate cake on a plate, hats and of course; Daddy Pig's favorite "antique" chair, natch. Peppa goes over to Miss Rabbit as Miss Rabbit shows Peppa the chair and offers Peppa to chop it up for firewood, which might be even more useful than being an "antique". Even Peppa is confused by this because Daddy Pig claims that it's worth lots of money. So, Miss Rabbit decides to jack the price up on it. And why not? It's all for a good cause anyway. Peppa bails to Mummy Cat's booth of toys as we meet and greet with most of the big kids. Suzy gave away her nurse's outfit, Pedro give away the Polly Balloon of Doom, and Zoe gave away her toy monkey. Everyone giggles as Peppa feels sad to part with the jack-in-the-box; so she's going to buy her old stuff back. And why not? As long as the roof is fixed, no one will care. So, everyone buys their old stuff back and shows it to Mummy Pig; who is carrying a basket of veggies. In comes Daddy Pig as he bought back his old disgusting looking chair. Uh-oh! Mummy Pig rightfully calls him out on this as Daddy Pig claims that it's an antique and the same as his old chair. Peppa then blows Mummy Pig's cover, and I don't know why Mummy Pig bothered to tell Peppa to not tell Daddy Pig, since it's clear the jig was up at this point. Daddy Pig is pissed because Miss Rabbit ripped him off on the chair; but then relents because it was enough for the new school roof. Of course! Everyone except for Madame Gazelle does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. That's good because it would have been a sad day in hell when the bouncy ball has to have a new owner. Episode was fun as usual. *** 1/4 (65%).

Swimming: Here is episode #72 on the animation paper as we head to the swimming pool area complete with color coded change rooms and two diving boards. All of the Pig family comes out one by one in their usual swimming costumes, although Peppa is wearing red instead of yellow this time around. So Daddy Pig puts on their inflatable orange arm bands and blows into said armbands to fill them up for air. I cannot buy the armbands making George sound all grown up, I just cannot. So everyone climbs down the ladder, except for George, who sounds whiny at this point, because this is the first time he's going in the swimming pool. Daddy Pig grabs George and let the comedy begin! First up, George Pig: Water Temperture Tester~! You put the left foot in, hear George bawl~! You put the right foot in, hear George cry again~! Put two feet in, and George will giggle all about~! He splashes everyone and makes Daddy Pig all wet~! That's why it's all about the funny~! YEAH~! Okay; that was terrible! My hokey-pokey reference, not the comedy on the show. Oh; and the reason why Peppa isn't in yellow? That's because Rebecca Rabbit is wearing a yellow swimming costume, along with Richard Rabbit in navy blue and I think it's Mummy Rabbit in a two piece red swimming costume. Everyone meets and greets as Rebecca and Richard are already in the water swimming and treading water in that order. A lot of squeaking goes on. Mummy Rabbit brings in a yellow paddle board and Richard practices his swimming legs kick for a while. Mummy Pig gives George a yellow paddle board and George kicks his legs as they bump boards and spray water over all the adults for fun, mostly Daddy Pig. That was great! Peppa claims that big kids don't splash; and then they proceed to swim splashing a lot more water than George and Richard ever could. Hypocritical trolling much there, Peppa/Rebecca?! Then we get a great teleportation spot: As the two girls make it to the edge of the western side of the pool talking about the little ones when they grow up for real; Richard and George somehow teleport to that edge, Richard has an out of nowhere red sprinkling can and sprinkles water all over Peppa's head. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Peppa orders Richard to stop and thankfully, the two little ones no sell the deal. The troll just got trolled...AGAIN! Then it gets even better; Richard unintentionally drops the can into the deepest part of the pool, and then bawls his eyes out. Literally a second after that; George bawls in sympathy for him! AWESOME! George was like; "oh, why not?!" and then he cries.

Mummy Rabbit gives up within seconds and almost everyone is not getting that watering can. Not Daddy Pig! Oh, no! He's going to get that sprinkling can, no matter how much protesting anyone does (which they don't, by the way) and literally tells Mummy Pig to hold his glasses. This was many years before "hold my beer" became a meme on the Internet. Mummy Pig holds his glasses and Daddy Pig dives into the water and grabs the sprinkling can and that is that. Ironically; he splashes much less water than Richard and George combined. Daddy Pig gives the can back to Richard, and declares himself to be an expert of underwater diving, prompting Richard to sprinkle water on his head. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Peppa must be loving that one! Peppa blows this all off because that is for babies. Sod off, you troll! Peppa wants to use the diving board, but the adults no sell the deal because it's just for grownups, you see. Which is a good thing; because we are at the greatest spot of all time. You see, Daddy Pig is about to do some actual diving and everyone panics, because DADDY'S BIG TUMMY will drain the entire pool! Daddy Pig is like "I'll show all of you!" and even Mummy Pig is questioning this; because it was long ago since he won high diving events. Daddy Pig don't care as he gives his glasses to Mummy Pig and goes to the low diving board and teases diving, but that's not good enough for Daddy Pig, so he's getting off and climbing up the high diving board. Peppa and company are on the side as Peppa is pleading for him not to swamp them with water. Daddy jumps off high into the air, he does a flip and then dives into the water with no splash at all. He literally went through the water surface with zero spray whatsoever. This is so fake that was so funny! This officially rivals Simple Science in being so absurd. Daddy Pig rises up and told us so. You don't say? I didn't doubt you for a second! Daddy Pig gets to the side and everyone offers him a towel. Daddy Pig no sells and sprays water off his body like a dog on everyone! HAHA! Ultimate revenge! Daddy Pig's apology is hollow; but who cares? Everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This is the best episode in the series until Simple Science, bar none. Daddy Pig got his revenge on everyone, and I do mean; everyone. ***** (100%).

Tiny Creatures: Next up is episode #73 on the animation paper and we begin in Grandpa Pig's ever expanding garden as Grandpa Pig has two yellow bowls on the ground and he's picking up some lettuce from the ground. Peppa and George run in as Grandpa gives Peppa some lettuce, which contains a snail. Peppa drops the lettuce and points to it, calling it a horrible monster. That snail is even smaller than Mister Skinnylegs, for Peppa's sakes! Wow; she really thinks small creatures are lethal in this storyline. George don't care and smirks with glee. Grandpa Pig finally corrects Peppa and the snail goes into it's shell, like a turtle, only with glee instead of being scared. So we exchange notes about snails as it has a house, but no bed. Peppa wants to be a snail with a shell house complete with bed, table, chair, fridge and television. So, in other words; a house made of shells. Okay, whatever Peppa. Everyone laughs at you on cue, badly as Peppa asks what snails eat and Grandpa Pig says it all as the snail chews on a leaf of lettuce and hides in his house as Grandpa Pig blows him off for being such a cheeky rascal. So, what is Peppa's excuse then? Or George's for that matter? So Grandpa Pig gives them two baskets because it's time to play some cheeky snails to kill some time. This ends with the kids hiding in the baskets like the cheeky snails that they are and Grandpa Pig laughs. In comes all of Peppa's friends, including Richard Rabbit. We meet and greet as Grandpa Pig doesn't know where Peppa and George are. Allegedly. Because there's just two giant snails on the ground giggling because this is so funny to them. Peppa singsongs and backs up the bicycle riders claiming that they are cheeky snails. Peppa and George pounce up from their shells and everyone giggles. So we exchange notes on the situation as everyone wants to be a snail; but Grandpa doesn't have enough baskets for them; even though they could use their bicycle helmets as subs. They can be something else in the garden; causing Rebecca Rabbit to wanting to be a carrot, because she loves carrots. What? No blushing? That was awfully sloppy of you, show. It's not a carrot as everyone gets off their bicycles and follows Grandpa Pig through the apple orchards. They hear buzzing sounds and arrive at the bee house on the hill. Peppa of course, confuses this with a doll house in which Grandpa Pig corrects her again. A number of bees (which look like small easter eggs) come out as the kids are in awe.

One of the bees looks at Grandpa Pig and then flies over to a conveniently placed flower and starts sucking juice from the flower. The bee then flies back into the bee hive as Grandpa Pig explains that it's pollen needed to make honey. Peppa claims that she loves honey and wants to cosplay a busy bee. Grandpa Pig is giddy about this as all the kids make buzzing noises and runs around Grandpa Pig in a circle. They are busy bees now as they run stage left up the hill to the white house on the hill as Grandma Pig comes out. We meet, greet and exchange notes on the situation as the kids want toast with honey on it. Grandma Pig calls it lucky because she made a lot of toast with honey! The kids all pop for this as we jump cut to Suzy with her piece of toast with honey loving this; and then Peppa brings up a large ball of lettuce because she likes being a cheeky snail who eats lettuce. Of course, Grandpa Pig is behind Peppa when she cut this promo and is forced to drop it because she's a cheeky little rascally troll before he laughs and everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. That last part was in fact funny; but the rest was okay at best. *** (60%).

Daddy Pig's Office: So; here is episode #74 on the animation paper as we begin on the boring road with Daddy Pig, Peppa Pig and George Pig in the red car driving east. Daddy Pig is dressed ready to work and has his luggage ready in the passenger side of the front seat. Peppa asks what Daddy does at work and Daddy Pig claims that it's all fun work and she'll see it soon enough. Ah; so this is the "take your kid to work" day episode. So we head to the large work building on the hill as a green car and orange car are parked on the right side of the hill. Daddy Pig parks on the left side of the hill, at least it's not the steepest side of the hill this time. Everyone gets out and heads to the elevator with a glass window and an intercom speaker. Daddy Pig buzzes in with the red button and the woman's voice is clearly Madame Gazelle working the intercom and it makes more sense when Peppa buzzes in and declares that it's her since the intercom responds and lets them in anyway. So, Peppa, George and Daddy all get into the elevator (the lift in Britian); as Daddy's office is on the top floor, therefore George has to be the one who pushes the red button since it's his turn to do something. So, George smirks and pushes the button and the lift is going up and up. There are six floors in this building as the elevator talks in an entirely different voice, so the intercom operator is clearly Madame Gazelle. The doors open and everyone goes into the office; which looks like playgroup with an office style motif to it. Mummy Cat is working on the computer, while Mr. Rabbit is stamping approval papers.So we have the meet and greet for a while as the kids look somewhat nervous. We start with Mr. Rabbit's job of taking papers with numbers on them and stamping them as the kids are in awe of this. Mr. Rabbit is pulling his bowtie, which sadly doesn't take pictures as the narrator is trying to sell us that this is a fabulous job. Peppa wants to stamp as Mr. Rabbit goes underneath his desk to find blank paper; but Peppa finds the last piece of paper inside the In folder and stamps it like mad, like a troll would. Thankfully; it's only one piece, or this business would easily go kapult!

So, Mr. Rabbit finds a piece of blank paper and replaces the stamped paper with it. Peppa stamps and she for the most part, misses the paper completely and stamps the table. Mr. Rabbit clearly has stopped caring at this point as Peppa enjoys herself. So after some intense stamping, Daddy Pig, Peppa and George meet Mummy Cat as her job is to design and print shapes using the computer. I guess this work is making math books for school children. Eh; it's a living. Mummy Cat designs another page of shapes as Peppa wants to help make a custom page of shapes. Since it's George's turn; he gets to design a custom page and it's nine blue triangles as Peppa pounds the keys on the computer. Surprisely; the computer doesn't break this time; but the printer is shooting out pages like crazy. Mummy Cat is confused as Daddy Pig ushers the kids away to his desk, which contains markers, a white board, filing cabinet, a picture of Peppa and George in wacky clothes and a green telephone on the table. Daddy Pig explains his job and even I am as confused as the kids are as the narrator proclaims that Daddy Pig's job is very important. Peppa asks about computer and stamps; but Daddy Pig is so old school, he uses coloring pens to say that 1 + 1 = 2! So, Peppa and George draw with markers for a while as George draws a dinosaur, of course! One that kidnaps Peppa as Peppa is drawing a house. George does his catchphrase and the kids giggle for a while. Suddenly; the clock rings because it's five o'clock and it's home time for the working adults who make children's simple math books. So the adults are impressed by the drawings as Peppa loves doing the adult jobs, especially Daddy Pig's job and everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Eh; not much to see here. ** 1/4 (45%).

George Catches A Cold: Here is episode #76 on the animation paper as we begin on the house on the hill in a giant rainstorm with the car pointed down the hill. I love that they claim that it's raining a little bit, like I'm buying that crap. Out comes George and Peppa with their boots on. Peppa was wearing red boots at this point. Mummy Pig (with umbrella) comes out and puts on their rain clothes with rain hat. George doesn't like the yellow hat and throws it down in disgust. Yay! Someone who hates banana yellow as much as I do. Mummy Pig puts the hat back on and scolds George and George asks why twice and Mummy Pig wisely answers that he must keep dry, or he will catch a cold. George asks why a third time and Mummy Pig counters with a question of her own asking if George wants to be in the garden playing, George snorts twice and Mummy Pig tells him to keep his hat on. George finally relents and follows Peppa into the garden down the hill. So they find some muddy puddles and jump up and down in them. DING! George still hates that rain hat and throws it down. Then the rain really comes down and out comes Mummy and Daddy Pig with their umbrellas as Daddy Pig wants them inside because the rain is simply too heavy to play now. Everyone gets into the house and within seconds they are in the lobby; George already has red lines around his eyes in the signaling that he has caught a cold. Mummy Pig seemly has figured out that he threw down his hat again. She even asks him and George sneezes on cue; and the second time he sneezes, he lands on his back. Mummy Pig now feels sorry for George as Daddy Pig brings out his cellphone and rings in Doctor Brown Bear...AGAIN! Well; George is two years old at this point, so calling a doctor isn't the worst thing you can do here. So we head to Doctor Brown Bear's office as Brown Bear answers the phone at his desk as he tells Daddy Pig to put George to bed and he'll be right over. Peppa believes that a cold requires a hospital visit and medicine. I'm pretty sure the later will happen while the former will not, Peppa. Peppa, like the troll that she is; claims George is not properly ill. As much as you should sneeze on someone else, Peppa deserved that sneeze on her by George. Mummy Pig grabs George and heads upstairs as we jump cut to George in his pjs in his bed as Daddy Pig tucks him in. George clearly hates this and does his defiant no while pushing the covers back. George gets out of bed as Daddy Pig grabs him and tells him to go back to bed. George asks why and it basically boils down to Doctor Brown Bear saying so. And speaking of the devil, in comes Doctor Brown Bear and the second Brown Bear asks where the patient is, George gasps and goes back to bed. HAHA!

Brown Bear asks George to say "ahh" and George is afraid of the good doctor after being defiant against his parents. So Brown Bear asks Peppa to show George how to say "ahh" and Peppa sells it, which causes George to giggle and mimic what she does. Brown Bear concludes that George has a cold; but doesn't need medicine, which means we will never see his reaction to said medicine and that makes me sad. However; warm milk during bedtime is allowed as Brown Bear takes his leave and drives his ambulance car down the hill stage left. So ten seconds later, it is already HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as George has been in bed all day according to the narrator. Peppa comes in because it's her bedtime now. Peppa (with Teddy) climbs the ladder and gets in her bed. She asks George if he's better; George sneezes and the narrator proclaims that George is not better. Of course! The ladder moves as Peppa orders George to not sneeze loudly. Please sneeze even louder, George! And George coughs louder as Peppa calls this impossible. HA! Mummy Pig comes in with some warm milk for George to help him sleep. George drinks the warm milk (which needs badly drawn steam to convince us that it's not cold milk and Mummy Pig was not lying about it); and he is so drowsy that he finally falls to sleep. The adults step back as Daddy Pig turns out the light and says good night; as Peppa thinks she's safe from George's noises. That's when George snores himself to sleep, and it's so loud and manly that Peppa would think that DADDY PIG was sleeping in the bed below her. HAHA! So we then hear a cockerel crow (rooster in America) as the sun rises and it's morning. Jump cut to inside Peppa's room and Peppa was kept up all night by George's loud snoring. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! George trolls Peppa! The narrator makes it even better by claiming that George slept very well. Awesome! George then gets up and climbs the ladder to bounce on Peppa's chest with Mr. Dinesaur to taunt her. Peppa yawns as the narrator proclaims that George is better. You don't say? So we jump cut outside as everyone comes out with the spotty ball and George comes out wearing his rain hat because colds suck! Mummy Pig informs him that he don't have to wear it today, but George don't care. He asks why and Peppa asks why he cannot stop saying that word all the time in this episode. George says "why" and everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Yip; he's better. Too bad because Cold George is awesome! *** 1/2 (70%).

The Balloon Ride: Here is episode #77 on the animation paper and we begin this one on the school fete on the hill with many of the kids and adults already there as balloons are flying, except for the giant hot-air balloon next to the table where Miss Rabbit, the Pig Family and Danny Dog are positioned. Miss Rabbit is behind the booth with her megaphone on full blast as the grand prize is a ride in the hot air balloon. There is a bottle of apple juice, a chocolate cake and a green car available for the raffle as Peppa is giddy about winning the grand prize. Danny enters the raffle, picks ticket #3 and wins the toy car. Peppa wants a ticket as Daddy Pig is hoping Peppa wins the chocolate cake instead. Geez; I'm on Daddy Pig's side here, although that bottle of apple cider would be nice too. Oh; and Peppa doesn't pay a nickel like Danny Dog does as Miss Rabbit spins the barrels, Peppa picks a ticket and it's the red ticket of doom, which means; Peppa wins the balloon ride. Even Daddy Pig pops for this anyway as Miss Rabbit puts on her hat and goggles, like she's a pilot on TaleSpin and gets into the basket. So, basically it's four passengers and two toys as the captions address Mr. Dinesaur as Dine-saw. Don't ask me why. So, the entire Pig family gets on board, although Daddy Pig nearly gets left behind in the process. The anchor is away as Miss Rabbit cuts pilot promos when the balloon rises up into the air. I should note that Doctor Brown Bear and Doctor Elephant made the trip here; along with Mummy Dog. Daddy Pig thinks Miss Rabbit is an expert pilot and Miss Rabbit claims that she isn't really; since this is her first balloon ride. This coming from the same person who can pilot a helicopter several times throughout this series. I have a hard time believing this since she turns on the torch to heat the air inside the balloon and it rises into the sky. The kids wave farewell to each other as Daddy Pig offers to do the map reading and Mummy Pig is already not liking this idea. Of course; Daddy Pig reads it upside down and cannot get it right side up, because Daddy Pig is dumb. Peppa wants to go higher and Miss Rabbit turns on the torch some more right into a cloud. Oy!

Peppa thinks the sky ended as Daddy Pig corrects her on that. Once they fly through a cloud, everyone pops for it. Peppa sings the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM; which is basically the same music she always sings with, only different lyrics. Bigger than the sun and moon is so wrong, it's not even wrong. So Peppa looks down and drops Teddy like an idiot as everyone panics; but it's Miss Rabbit and letting air out to the rescue! The air balloon comes down slowly as I betcha Teddy would drop on the ground within seconds in real life. Teddy is caught in a tree, situtated in a really thin forest as Peppa notices Teddy right away. Daddy Pig uses the anchor and rescues Teddy just like that as everyone has a giggle. Geez; Miss Rabbit is really good for her first balloon...oh wait, they forgot to WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE~! The air balloon is stuck; which means everyone is stuck! But, wait; the balloon has landed conveniently in Grandpa Pig's garden. Of course! Daddy Pig is still dumb anyway because he admits that they are lost. So, Miss Rabbit yells in her microphone addressing the distress call to Grandpa and Grandma Pig. Out comes Grandpa and Grandma Pig with their picnic basket as Grandpa Pig responds back as Miss Rabbit calls for help. Peppa Pig explains the situation as the grandparents find a tall ladder and mound it against the basket of the balloon. Everyone in the balloon climbs down as Peppa exchanges notes on the situation as Grandma Pig brings out the chocolate cake from the picnic basket and Daddy Pig is already all over this. HEE HEE! Peppa calls this the best balloon ride ever, I don't believe her. Daddy Pig calls this the best chocolate cake ever, I can believe him on that as everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was a fine episode and Miss Rabbit just needs to watch out for trees. ** 3/4 (55%).

George's Birthday: So; here is episode #78 on the animation paper as the sun rises on the house on the hill as we zoom into Peppa and George's bedroom as both kids are asleep. Literally three seconds later, George wakes up and pushes the covers away, ready to troll on Peppa like nothing else because it's his birthday. George takes Mr. Dinesaur and runs up the ladder and bounces on the bed as Peppa wakes up and protests this outrage. George don't care as Peppa demands he go back to bed. George don't care as Mummy and Daddy Pig come in with presents; implying that they were in on this, too. Peppa protests this outrage as Daddy Pig reminds Peppa that she did the exact same thing on her birthday. Which, if you remember the episode, she did wake everyone up. Peppa claims it's different because it's her birthday. Daddy Pig gleefully corrects her on that one. Peppa yawns and says happy birthday to George. Just like that. Scene change to the kitchen table as there is the present on the table. Everyone is dressed as George checks the present by shaking it. He then opens it, and it's a long neck purple dinosaur with flexible jaw. Peppa is not impressed by this and George grrs at her with the dinosaur to respond to that. Daddy Pig takes the dinosaur and squeezes it's belly; and this causes the dinosaur to growl on it's own right in everyone else's faces. Mummy Pig calls it too scary; but the kids giggle anyway. Peppa gives him a card and teases that the card picture is a flower and George is not happy to hear that. But wait; Peppa changed her mind and painted a dinosaur on the cover. How nice, the little troll decided not to troll George after all. Awww! So, George is getting a birthday treat as the entire Pig family is going out...somewhere. Peppa asks where and Daddy Pig refuses to say and we'll have to wait like everyone else, especially Peppa. So we head outside as everyone gets into the car and Daddy Pig drives down the hill onto the boring road. 2:1 odds it's the museum...Peppa thinks it's the circus or the cinema; but Daddy Pig no sells both. Oh; and damn, I'm so good!

Of course it's the museum because as seen in a previous episode, there were bones of dinosaurs shown. There are balloons at the entrance, so this was clearly a pre-planned event as George is officially two years old! So everyone gets out and heads into the museum as they skip the royalty section and head into the dinosaur room as this is George's favorite thing in the whole world. And this time; the entire room is filled with a dinosaur motif, just for George's amusement and glee. Peppa is not happy with this and she can sod off. George runs into the room as we get a lot of evolution references and then we see George standing on an X in front of a robotic green dinosaur. It's heat sensing as the black belly button glows red and the dinosaur growls in George's face; and he instantly bawls his eyes out. See moral guardians, George loves dinosaurs, but not scary dinosaurs. When a 2 year old has more naunce than a moral guardian, the moral guardians are the toddler. The parents come in as Daddy Pig demonstrates the robot dinosaur and that calms George down. George gives it a second try and this time he's not afraid and giggles. George growls as Mummy introduces another surprise as all of George's friends, including Richard run in out of nowhere with balloons. In a shock of shocks; Mummy Rabbit walks in with a white box with a birthday cake, which Peppa instantly guesses as a dinosaur motif cake. Which it is and it's also the most wooden looking birthday cake ever seen. I am so disappointed that BS&P wouldn't allow George to blow out the candles, that made me very sad. Daddy Pig has one last surprise as everyone walks out of the museum and into a field and Peppa has already figured out that it has a dinosaur motif attached to it. So we have an inflatable green something attached to a rubber hose and a giant red button. Peppa wonders what this is as Daddy Pig pushes the giant red button with his foot and it's a bouncy castle...with a dinosaur motif attached to it! Of course! All the kids run into the castle and bounce and giggle as Peppa says happy birthday to George and that ends the episode at 4:30 approx. I like this better than Peppa's birthday, mainly because George loves dinosaurs. Everyone loves dinosaurs, except for religious people who claim dinosaurs have ruined their world view of the world. *** 3/4 (75%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; I love the Swimming episode and I'm shocked that it wasn't on a DVD because this was the best episode of the series up until Simple Science came along. Daddy Pig is the best diver in the world and I mean it too! There's no way a thin person could no splash a dive, let alone a thick person like Daddy Pig, but Daddy Pig pulled it off. Plus; trolls got trolled in so many ways and all of it was funny as hell. The Eye Test was also good, mostly because Pedro Pony got his trolling on Peppa. George's Birthday was also very fun along with Granddad Dog's Garage. Daddy Pig's Office was just there, although Peppa messing up the works was not much fun, although she didn't do anything too stupid, so there's that. The rest was just fun. Overall; a much improved set of shorts as we head to the final 15 episodes of Series 2. Next weekend will have eight episode, while the finale will have just seven episodes. However, the final seven episodes will likely not be reviewed until after Easter Sadism, which is on the same week as April Fool's Day, which is on the same day as Easter Sunday. This sounds really fitting nowadays. So...

Thumbs up for The Eye Test and Swimming, thumbs down for Daddy Pig's Office and thumbs in the middle for the rest and I'll see you all next time.

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