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Peppa Pig: Series Two #3 Rant

Reviewed: 03/25/2018

WAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAA!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. So we head back to Series two as we start the next eight episodes of the second series as we do some painting, bicycle riding, ice skating and make dens. Then we debut Rebecca Rabbit for reals as the Peppa/Suzy friendship is now on the rocks, Grandpa Pig's car gets defamed and Baby Alexander makes it's official debut. Yeah; welcome to the Cecily Bloom era of Peppa Pig. So; how do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley and Mark Baker; except for Swimming, which is written by Chris Parker. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Painting : So; we start with episode #81 on the animation paper, as we begin this one on the house on the hill as we head in the kitchen with Peppa, George, Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig at the table. Daddy Pig is reading the newspaper, while there is three canisters of colored paint (red, blue, yellow) a glass of paintbrushes and sheets of paper. We are painting today, as per the episode title. First; we need Daddy Pig's newspaper and he'll give it to them when he finishes reading it. Five seconds later, he gives it to them as we reset the table with the newspaper on the table. So; we start painting as George is hand painting and Peppa calls him silly because big kids do not put their hands in the paint. They play Splatoon 2 and shoot virtual paint out of stylized laser guns while wearing awesome looking gear and complain about their internet signal being unstable. Yes; you can clearly tell I made that one up; but nothing I said isn't true. Peppa then paints yellow paint on her hands and joins in for fun, because she's silly and doesn't want to admit it. Somehow; Mummy Pig has a pot of potatoes that are uncooked as Daddy asks for one, which surprises everyone. Daddy Pig grabs one and proclaims that this is not for ending; this one is for making potato stamps. He makes a flower from red and yellow paint, which somehow doesn't mix. Also; the flower's petals do no match the shape of the potato stamp. Daddy Pig loves painting since he was a little piggy as he bails stage right. He returns with his easel, canvas, painting supplies and painting beret. I'm guessing the giggling was him redoing his outer mustache hairs into curls before he came back. Peppa calls the beret funny. Nah; the curls in his mustache are funnier, Peppa. French music also plays as Daddy Pig claims that it's a motivator as Daddy and the kids walk out of the house and down the hill. Daddy Pig wonders what he is going to paint today. George snorts and giggles as he finds a conveniently placed cherry tree. Peppa is totally fine with this because it's not a "dinesaur" (sic). Daddy Pig sets up his easel and "can-vas" as Peppa asks. So we exchange notes on the wonders of painting as this easel is wooden and has drawers (NOT THOSE ONES!) which Daddy Pig opens and brings out his paint brushes, paintboard and containers of paint; which Peppa confuses for toothpaste. Daddy Pig corrects her and squirts paint paste in red, yellow and blue onto the paintboard.

Peppa wants to use red first, but Daddy Pig kindly no sells because the sky has to be painted first, so it's blue that they start with. Sadly; no clouds in this painting. Such skyism these pigs have! Daddy Pig also forgets to paint the bottom of the easel as next up is the green leaves, which Peppa puts out that there is no green. However; through the magic of color mixing (okay; it's science), mixing blue with yellow makes lime green paint. So, Daddy Pig paints the leaves and the grass (explains why he didn't paint the bottom of the easel blue earlier) and now we need brown paint for the branches. There's no brown paint for them. But wait; remember, the science of color mixing? Well; this time, Daddy Pig mixes green and red, to make a brown color. So, Daddy Pig paints the brown branches as Peppa wants to paint the cherries on the tree. Daddy Pig lets her as Peppa dabs her finger in the red paint and paints the leaves with red dots. George wants in and he does the same; only with more branches of leaves. The painting is finished and is much less detailed than the real thing, which due to the artwork; isn't all that detailed. Then in comes the yellow ducks of doom as Peppa greets them; and the ducks do not care at all as they run onto the paintboard on the ground as colored footprinnts are made. Somehow; logic breaks and there are no green nor brown footprints present as Daddy is shooing and protesting this outrage. The easel gets bumped and allows the ducks to footprint the grass of the painting and the painting is ruined. Or is it? In comes Mummy Pig as we exchanges notes on the situation as Mummy Pig grabs the canvas and compares it to the real thing as the ducks are making paint footprints around the cherry tree, so the painting is now similar to the real thing and we have no right to complain about it anymore. Mummy puts the canvas back on the easel, Peppa likes this as Daddy claims that he is sort of an expert on painting as Peppa counters that the ducks are too as everyone except the ducks does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was a really fun episode; although the logic was a bit wonky at times. *** 1/2 (70%).

The Baby Piggy: We continue on with episode #83 on the animation paper as we begin on that boring road to the west with Daddy Pig's car being driven by Daddy Pig. The entire Pig family is in the car as Peppa has the bouncy ball and George has Mr. Dinesaur with him as Daddy Pig explains that they are visiting their cousin Chloe, the parents of Chloe and a new cousin. Now; since I did the episodes out of order since I reviewed the DVD sets first, I pretty much spoiled the whole thing in advance. It's Baby Alexander by the way. So we head to the sky blue house on the hill (with swing on the cherry tree) as the car parks on the steepest side of the hill once again. Out comes everyone for the meet and greet as Baby Alexander makes his debut in the flesh and is reserved like a gentle baby. That will not last long, I assure thee. Yes; Baby Alexander is a male, and the girls are not hip with that at all. George don't care as he snorts and shows off Mr. Dinesaur to Alex and he sobs and it sounds like Richard crying. Why they didn't use this in future episodes is a mystery to me since it sounds better than his unique crying. Mummy corrects George on his gaffe and Peppa bounces the ball in front of Alex, because somehow she believe that a ball bouncing is less scary than George's dinosaur cosplaying. No shock; Alex bawls on cue. Alexander is too little to do much of anything at this point, except eat, sleep and burp; which is a lot of manchildren's gimmicks as well. So Peppa wants to hold the baby and she gets her way as long as she is careful. Peppa holds the baby and likes it in spite of the gender; and then Alexander blushes (this was the point where they formally gave the baby it's name) as this is the signal for Baby Alexander to sh*t his pants causing Peppa to give the baby back in disgust. She was disgusted with this and probably made her more stinky in the process. By the way; footy pj's are called nappies in Britian, and Peppa is protesting this because Daddy Pig is reminding her that she once wore footy pj's. So Chloe wants to play in the garden with Peppa and George, her mother allows it and we head down the hill towards a tree with a tire swing.

However; next to it is a storage hut with a purple pirate flag pole on the top of the roof and apparently, Chloe has a panda bear like Teddy stored inside. We exchange notes for a while as Chloe gets inspired because Peppa wishes George was a sweet baby piggy instead of a dinesaur-loving crybaby. I made up one up; but they were clearly implying this. Chloe goes into the storage hut and brings out a purple/red carriage (a doll pram in Britian) as Peppa thinks this is a great idea. George says: no because he doesn't want to be a baby...AGAIN! So Peppa and Chloe start barginning with George on this, on stuff that they can never promise, but George ponders it over and accepts by getting into the pram. George makes baby noises as Chloe pushes the pram for a while. In comes all of Peppa's friends except for Danny Dog and Pedro F'N Pony. We meet and greet as Suzy is confused as to why George is in a pram. Peppa claims that it's just a baby; but no one is fooled even in storyline. Chloe has to remind them that this is cosplaying as they ask the gender of the baby and Peppa calls George a girl like the troll that she is. George absolutely says no to that and Peppa decides that it's a boy as George giggles on cue. Suzy brings out a can of cookies and asks if George would like one; but Peppa disallows this and George bawls on cue because he loves cookies. Chloe allows just one cookie and George relents and has his chocolate chip cookie. Okay; he is considered the best piggy ever, which might be true. In comes all the pigs with Alex and everyone simply points out the real baby piggy and bails, leaving George in the pram! It is troll on George day...AGAIN! George bawls on cue after being declared by Candy Cat to be sweeter than George. Damn; I never thought Candy would be a troll. Mummy Pig comes in and consoles him as Daddy Pig gives him Mr. Dinesaur to play with. George recovers and cosplays his dinosaur toy as all the kids scream badly and bail right on cue. George chases them around the adults and Alex in a circle to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Surprisely; Alex didn't cry during that sequence. Character development or continuity sloppiness? You the reader, decide! This was one of the better appearances for Baby Alexander, mostly because he really didn't factor much into the episode. *** 1/2 (70%).

Grandpa's Little Train: Moving right along with episode #84 on the animation paper as we head to Grandpa Pig's garden and notice a shack built in the middle of nowhere bouncing around as we hear noises in the background. In come Grandma Pig, Peppa and George as Peppa wonders what is going on. Grandma Pig claims that Grandpa is making something. Out comes Grandpa Pig with a hammer as he has a new toy to demonstrate as he goes back into the shed and opens the double doors on the back. He drives out a car train with two colored carts attached to the back of the train. Oh; and it's not a toy, it's Gertrude. It's not a train; it's a tractor in the motif of a train! Grandpa claims that the thing is a miniture locomotive. Grandma Pig asks if it needs railroad tracks to run on and Grandpa Pig toots the whistle and says no. Then it's a tractor with a train motif! There is a hook on the front of the train as Grandpa explains the car wheels and Peppa asks if she and George can ride in the new tractor....ERRR...I mean, miniture locomotive. Grandpa Pig says yes as Grandma Pig puts the kids in the blue cart and Grandpa Pig drives onto the road. Peppa and George giggle as Peppa invokes the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM for a while. Lots of riding on hills and snorting ensue as we see the tow truck of Granddad Dog (towing what appears to be Grandpa Pig's car) with Granddad Dog and Danny Dog in the truck. Both appear to be blocking the road on the meet and greet. Grandpa Pig is deeply offended by Granddad Dog's calling of Gertrude a toy train; and proceeds to call the tow truck "Little Lorie"; which in turn, offends Granddad Dog. In Britian; a tow truck is called a breakdown truck, which I love as a name. Danny Dog would like to ride on it and Granddad Dog goes into a long promo before Danny Dog thanks him and gets out of the truck. Danny gets in the train cart with the kids as Grandpa Pig dodges the breakdown truck and rides away. Cut to the boring road with the blue bus with Miss Rabbit driving it. Basically; it's all of Peppa's friends are in the bus that we have seen thus far. It's the most boring tour bus ride ever with more hills as the sights. So; the bus stops when the tractor with a train motif arrives.

Then we get the following: The kids want to ride on the train. Miss Rabbit asks Grandpa Pig if trains are educational and Grandpa Pig says yes. Miss Rabbit asks for hands up if they want to get on the train and all the kids are popping and raising their arms. Miss Rabbit asks for hands up if they want to stay on the bus and all the kids drop their arms; I'm surprised Pedro Pony didn't just keep his arm up here. Miss Rabbit allows the kids to go on the train and Miss Rabbit will follow them from behind. The kids get into the tractor with a train motif carts and Grandpa Pig drives away stage left as everyone sings a train motif version of "The Wheels On The Bus". Even though this tractor with a train motif has car wheels and the kids were previously on a bus. This goes on for a while as then they stop at a patch of road consumed by a giant muddy puddle. Miss Rabbit wants to go a different route; but Grandpa Pig isn't going to let some mud stop his Gertrude as he drives onto the mud. It splashes and sprays; but somehow doesn't mess up anything. The train makes it across without any problems as Miss Rabbit restarts her bus and proclaims that it can make it and then it dies right in the middle of the muddy puddle. Miss Rabbit is not happy with this as we get a logic break: Granddad Dog arrives with his breakdown truck. Now; since we saw him earlier, you would think that Granddad would appear from behind, drive around and then park in front of the bus, right? Nope! He arrives as if he was going due east and just stops in front of the bus. So the breakdown truck has to be flipped to the opposite side as Granddad Dog hooks up the bus with the tow hook and tries to get Miss Rabbit's bus out of the muddy puddle; but the muddy puddle basically stands it's ground (har har) and mud sprays onto the windshield of the bus. Miss Rabbit uses the wipers to see as she asks if she is not stuck. Granddad Dog says, Miss Rabbit is stuck, basically. And he needs more power...and here comes Gertrude with Grandpa Pig and the kids in tow. Granddad Dog denies that he needs help; and Miss Rabbit asks for Grandpa Pig's help, causing Granddad Dog to change his mind. Of course! So, they use the rope hook from the front of the tractor with a train motif and we pull, pull, PULL~! The kids are chanting for it to succeed and Miss Rabbit's bus is now out of the mud! Everyone pops for that as Miss Rabbit calls it an amazing toy train, which offends Grandpa Pig. Peppa proclaims that it's the best train in the world as everyone giggles to end the episode at 4:30 approx. It's certainly the best tractor with a train motif that I have ever seen. *** (60%).

The Cycle Ride: Here is episode #85 on the animation paper as we begin on the house on the hill and zoom into the kitchen as the Pig family is at the kitchen table barely beginning breakfast despite the narrator claiming that they are finishing breakfast. Daddy Pig wants to go out on a cycle ride (a bicycle ride in North America) and Peppa calls this a good idea. So, they all bail and we head outside as Peppa has her bicycle as the stablizers are now officially off of the bicycle at this point. George has his tricycle, while Daddy and Mummy Pig are riding a tadem bicycle. There is only ONE song that fits any bicycle riding and Queen always had it's fingers on the pulse of these type of episodes. Sadly for George, George has been DQ'ed from this cycle ride because his legs will get tired; because this is a marathon bicycle ride, not a spirint. Peppa claims that she'll never get tired and she is certain of this BABEE! George has to ride on the back of the tadem bicycle in a banana yellow back seat. Horns are honking and we begin the downhill bicycling, which is the least effort in riding, but the most thrilling and the most dangerous when you are careless. Peppa --- the troll that she is -- is treating this like a Donald Trump-equse race and Daddy Pig has to remind her that it's not a Donald Trump-equse race. Peppa don't care as they make it to the bottom of the hill and reality strikes Peppa hard as she has to go uphill, which is the least dangerous and most effort in riding; which Peppa is panting and can barely make it up the hill. The tadem bicycle passes Peppa as Daddy Pig laughs at her expense while George gives Peppa a big raspberry on the way up. Peppa is panting and blushing; disliking this. Here's a case of bad acting: When Peppa cut her promo; she spoke normally instead of sounding like she was winded. Cut to the top of the hill as Peppa makes it, but the tadem bicycle wins and Peppa denies that she lost because she stopped racing. Then she stops selling and goes down the next hill, in racing mode once again. And people are shocked that I call her a troll? Daddy Pig calls her cheeky as they come to the bottom of the hill and cycle past the duck pond; meeting and greeting the ducks. Then we get a really funny moment: Peppa and Daddy Pig bicycle up the next hill, which is much flatter than the previous hill. It's a tandem bicycle; so it means that when two people are bicycling, neither one has to pedal as hard as a bicycle with one person pedaling. Well; somehow, Daddy Pig is pedaling and he's blushing like crazy because somehow the pedaling is becoming extremely hard for him.

Then the hill is quite steep and Peppa is blushing again as Daddy Pig is pedaling more and it's getting more and more painful for him; because you see, Mummy Pig is not pedaling the bicycle at all because she is looking at the view and no one tells Daddy Pig that Mummy Pig has stopped pedaling. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Daddy Pig finally notices and calls her out on it, Mummy Pig apologizes and they make it to the top of the hill; and we see all of Peppa's friends giggling on their bicycles. Except for Richard Rabbit; because no one cares about him. Danny Dog and Suzy Sheep want a race and Peppa agrees to it as long as it's downhill. Of course! Danny Dog is fine with this as they pedal to the top of the hill. Daddy Pig comes in with the bicycle horn and explains the rules. He honks the horn to demonstrate the rules; and Pedro Pony false starts right on cue with glee. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! Daddy Pig has to yell at him and Pedro comes back with his bicycle apologizing. That was funny. Then Daddy Pig explains; and foolishly honks the horn and Pedro false starts AGAIN! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Pedro Pony is so cluelessly awesome here as Daddy Pig admits his guilt on this and the next time he honks the horn, we can start. But the kids then claim that he heard him say "go" and they all go; leaving Peppa behind. This was a laughable sequence of events; as no one cares anymore about Daddy Pig's rules. Daddy wants Peppa to go; but Peppa claims that Daddy didn't honk the horn, so Daddy honks the horn multiple times and Peppa rides down the hill. It's Danny Dog, Pedro Pony, Suzy Sheep/Rebecca Rabbit, Emily Elephant, Zoe Zebra, Candy Cat and in last time is Peppa Pig. However; Peppa makes the superpig comeback and passes everyone for the easy win! Yeah. Pedro Pony is in third place, nose to nose with Suzy Sheep. Somehow; Zoe Zebra ended up last! Peppa claims victory as it's home time and all the kids bicycle away in various directions. The tandem bicycle comes in as it's time for Peppa to go home; and now she's complaining about her legs being tired. Yeap; her mouth wrote a credit her rear end couldn't cash; all to allow Peppa to ride the bicycle and give us the funny visual of Daddy Pig riding Peppa's bicycle instead. Of course! Peppa honks the horn as the Pig family bicycles stage left to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was great though, mostly due to Pedro being clueless for my pleasure. **** (80%).

Ice Skating: Okay; here is episode #86 on the animation paper as it's winter time at the skating rink outside which we have here in Halifax. It's snowing as everyone except Richard Rabbit is here. Miss Rabbit has a booth for renting skates of course, because that is what Miss Rabbit does. I also love that during the first scene, the Pig family is at the gate and just stands there for no reason, as the scene slowly animates everyone else. Peppa is already trying to convince George that he won't be as good as Peppa in ice skating and Daddy Pig kindly blows it off and thinks everyone will be good. Peppa is claiming that she will be especially good and Daddy Pig laughs at that. So we head to the ice skates rental booth where everyone gets their ice skates since you need them to skate according to the narrator. By the way; in North America, you rent out skates. In Britian, you hire skates. So that means Higher For Hire in Britian would mean "Higher For Rent"! That made me laugh. Cut to the rink with all of Peppa's friends skating pretty well, even Pedro Pony is not half bad at it. He's absent minded, but not clumsy. Peppa has her skates on and she looks like someone who is just getting on the ice for the first time, regardless if she has ice skate on or not. Suzy skates rings around Peppa as Peppa admits that this is her first time skating and no sells needing any help skating. Suzy is like "okay" and her friends skate away stage right. Peppa cannot skate to save her life and falls right on her ass as a result. HA! Peppa's friend are giggling at this as Peppa declares this impossible and wants to quit right now. Ice skating, not this show by the way. Daddy Pig comes over to console her and he does the stupidest attempt at intentionally falling on his ass of all time. Even Peppa was calling him silly; so you know he was faking it and not actually clumsy. Cut to the barrier with Mummy Pig and George Pig as Mummy Pig asks George if he would like to skate and George says "no". This is George's first time on the ice and I wonder how this is going to turn up after seeing Swimming. So Mummy Pig has to teach Peppa how to skate as Daddy Pig shows George the art of skating to him.

So, Mummy Pig comes over to Peppa and they hold hands. Mummy Pig tells Peppa to push with your feet and glide. Because it's not the skating that makes you fall on your ass, it's the sudden stop. Push, push, glide and Peppa catches on within seconds. Peppa lets go of Mummy's hand and we push, push, glide as Daddy Pig is impressed. Peppa gets all cocky and starts figure skating and skating around crowds as the adults are pleading with her to slow down and Peppa realizes that she cannot stop since Mummy Pig might be a good teacher, but she forgot to teach Peppa how to stop. So Peppa stops by bumping into all her friends and they topple like bowling pins and Peppa's skates are in an area where she could have easily cut Danny Dog in the throat. That was irresponsbility stupid. Kids giggle anyway as Daddy Pig claims that he taught her how to fall over and Peppa is not thrilled about this, the kids giggle anyway. So George is set on the ice as Peppa offers to show George how to skate and George says no. After seeing how cocky Peppa is, I don't blame George. Peppa takes George's hand and they glide over to somewhere. Peppa lets go and goes for the first lesson; but George cuts her off and starts skating like he is a world class figure skater. Peppa is protesting this outrage, but George don't care. The kids are impressed by this as George does a TRIPLE AXEL~! Probably the youngest skater to ever do that, too! Peppa is impressed by this; but George needs to know how to stop, so George stops by shredding ice right into Peppa's kisser! HAHA! The troll just got trolled. This was awesome! The adults loved it as Peppa weasel words by claiming he did very well for his first lesson, despite being cut off before the first lesson took place. So, everyone loves ice skating as Peppa claims that she taught George, George does a triple axel, turns around and everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Not as awesome as Swimming; but George is still great while Peppa is still awkward. **** (80%).

Dens: So; here is episode #88 on the animation paper and the episode opens with Peppa and George running in the garden with their boots on, so there is a 50% chance that a muddy puddle will be involved before this episode ends. They run through the garden; but somehow not stomp on any of the veggies growing in said garden. Grandpa and Grandma Pig are watching on as the kids are at the treehouse. They head into the treehouse, close the door and giggle inside. I thought DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS~!) were that you had to take off your boots before going into the treehouse? They love the treehouse, and in comes Suzy Sheep, Zoe Zebra, Rebecca and Richard Rabbit with helmets on on their wheels. They all have their boots on as Suzy likes the treehouse and asks if they can come in, Peppa says "yes" and the kids all come in to cosplay a tea party which has only four tea cups. If you can guess who is not invited to this tea party, you probably know that this is sexist. Even more so because it's cosplaying. You can imagine a tea cup without one being physically there. Oh; and here comes more uninvited guests from the east: Danny Dog and Pedro F'N Pony. They ask if they can come in and Peppa says no. Now; that treehouse is crowded, so if she said that there's no more room, that would be at least believable. Nope; her reason is because boys are not allowed in the treehouse. So yes; Richard and George are girls now. Bigot. Apparently; boys are awful, so yes; rigid gender roles do apply in this show if it hasn't been made obvious to everyone watching this show already. Danny and Pedro rightfully point out the fatal flaw in Peppa's logic and even Peppa realizes this. So, instead of inviting the boys; she and Rebecca force George and Richard out. Peppa and the girls shut the door; Richard and George bawl in stereo and those tears aren't so salty in a cartoon as they are in real life. In comes Grandpa Pig asking what is going on and Pedro explains that the girls are acting like bigots. Grandpa Pig motions them to come over to something because he has an idea. I think I can guess where this is going as we cut back to the girls inside cosplaying their tea party.

Peppa thinks this tea party will be nice and quiet; but suddenly we hear banging sounds. Peppa looks out and notices that Grandpa Pig has built a castle motif treehouse for the boys. He couldn't just build the same treehouse that the girls were using, it had to be totally different. I don't think fighting bigotry with bigotry works out well, Grandpa Pig. The castle also has a cross on top as the girls come out. They ask if they can come in and Danny Dog no sells and locks up the castle as all the boys are on the rampart top. Did I mention that this den has an actual drawbridge? Danny claims that it's for boys only. Inverting the bigotry doesn't usually work Danny Dog; just so you would like to know. Zoe loves castles; but Peppa blows off the castle and the girls simply walk back into their treehouse, scoffing it. Grandpa Pig turns the second crank (yes; there is a second crank in this castle) and that brings up a pirate flag. Hey; in TaleSpin, there were Air Pirates. So, why not a Pirate Castle? Suzy loves flags and Peppa blows it off as pointless; and then Grandma Pig walks in and now they want a flag in unison. Talk about full gear reverse in ten seconds! Grandma Pig bails to find out that might be better than the boy's flag as we cut to Danny Dog being the king of the castle. Does that mean that Pedro is the dirty rascal since the writers are untouchable in this show? Grandpa Pig has the tin can string telephone on retainer, just in case. So Danny and Peppa are given each side of the can and they blow each other off because there is nothing to discuss. They blow raspberries and this episode is falling apart. Grandma Pig comes back with a flower pink dress on a flagpole and gives it to Peppa; which Peppa likes. The other girls blow Peppa off because the flag sucks and they indirectly admit that this sexism sucks and blows at the same time. So Suzy contacts Danny and admits that the castle is the best; and that means Suzy, Rebecca and Zoe are allowed in the castle now. Peppa blows them off proclaiming that she is staying in the treehouse because rigid gendered roles can kiss her ass while she is kicking them. Even though, she was the one who claimed that the treehouse is for girls only.

Then it starts to rain as Peppa is smiling and heads back inside the treehouse. Since the castle has no roof; Pedro wants to return to the treehouse and Danny no sells the deal. So everyone turns on Danny and Peppa simply opens the door and lets everyone else in, leaving Danny Dog high and wet. Okay; this finish is great! So, the rain has stopped and there are muddly puddles everywhere. Hmmm; I wonder how this episode is going to end? George runs out and starts jumping up and down in a muddy puddle. All the other kids likes this and follow suit, except for Peppa and Danny Dog who are yelling that they are staying in their homes. This is bigotry can do to ya, folks! The grandparents have their umbrellas on each house and they agree to guard the dens with their umbrellas because this bigotry is boring them and me. Peppa and Danny runs out and join the muddy puddle jumpers to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Started off really shaky; but the finish managed to make the episode go past average. This is way far from Boys VS Girls in Teen Titans Go; so call it ** 1/2 (50%).

Rebecca Rabbit: Here is episode #91 on the animation paper as we head to the house on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as there are two cars side by side on the western side of the hill. Zoom into Peppa's bedroom as we see Peppa, George, Rebecca and Richard running around in a circle as the boys are chasing the girls with their dinosaur toys and causing everything to shake. In comes Mummy Rabbit (and yes, it's not Miss Rabbit this time) as it's home time for the Rabbit family and Rebecca asks Mummy Rabbit if George and Peppa would like to come to their house. Mummy Rabbit is perfectly fine with this and we head downstairs; and suddenly, Richard is on the top of the stairs and he bawls his eyes out right away. You see, Richard is afraid of going downstairs because there are no stairs in the Rabbit family house. So, I was thinking that maybe their house was a one story house with a basement and attic. Well, HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~! Peppa is confused as Mummy Rabbit grabs Richard and walks down the stairs as they wave farewell to each other. The Rabbit family gets into their blue car and drives down the hill as the night literally lasts five seconds as it's morning. A rooster crows as the door opens and the Pig Family comes in and gets in the car. Mummy Pig is driving and Daddy Pig is doing the map reading and holding it upside down...AGAIN! I prefer men at least trying to read maps and failing, rather than men refusing directions and acting like toxic macho men and causing other people getting hurt or worse. I'm just saying. So Daddy Pig assures us that he won't screw this up again and we drive down the hill and onto the boring road. Peppa is flicking her feet around as she asks if they are there yet and Daddy Pig claims that it's on the next hill and they go up the hill and find holes on the hill and a small carrot garden, but no house. Because you see, the Rabbit family's home is underground since every stereotypical cartoon rabbit in the world has to live underground. I would have thought TaleSpin would shatter that stereotype, but cartoons still do this stuff, I guess. Mummy Pig accuses Daddy Pig of being lost; even though he was clearly not because we zoom out and clearly see windows on this hill in clear sight. Out of one of the holes comes Rebecca Rabbit squeaking along with Richard Rabbit. So we meet and greet as Rebecca finally explains to Peppa that this is a burrow; so the hill is their house. Once again; the car is flipped in the opposite direction off-screen as the adult pigs leave and they wave farewell to them for now. So everyone dives into the burrow as we cut to a sort of dark tunnel which is shaped like the top of a rib cage. We take the western tunnel and head to Rebecca's room which is basically Peppa's bedroom in reverse and with a cave motif. Peppa then wishes that she was a rabbit and Rebecca offers to teach them how to be rabbits, because the house thing has been paid off and we have to waste time being a different spieces. This involves twitching your nose and squeaking. Peppa and George pass with flying colors and then Rebecca shows off a carrot because rabbits love carrots.

Umm; cartoon rabbits love carrots because cartoon rabbits are anthros and that means "part human". Carrots are good for humans and can eat them in normal doses (too many of them can be harmful (more than three large carrots) in the context of causing discoloration of the skin making it look yellow or orange.); but not in a normal real rabbit diet. Rabbits don't naturally eat root vegetables/fruit. Carrots/fruit are high in sugar and should only be fed in small amounts as occasional treats. Rabbits need mainly hay and/or grass, some leafy greens and a small, measured amount of pellets. They can eat the top leaves of the carrot; but not the carrot itself. Of course, the dose is the poison and a rabbit's dose is the poison is different from a human. See the chocolate/dog analogy I made in an earlier rant. If Rebecca was feeding real rabbits with carrots; I would be annoyed beyond belief, but her eating it is perfectly fine because she's an anthro. Rebecca also eats the tops of carrots as she hands one to Peppa and George. Peppa is fine with this; but George hates carrots, so it was making the veggies like a dinosaur that motivated him to eat it. And join the club, George! Richard steals it and eats it; making George look like a carrot-hater. So, next up; it's hopping time as we have the kids run through the maze tunnel and out onto the hill as we do a lot of hopping for a while. Sadly; Peppa and George can barely get off the ground, while Rebecca and Richard hop way off the ground, about four feet in the air. Mummy Pig pops out as it's lunchtime and everyone heads to the table with Mr. Rabbit in a rare appearance! They are all having carrots as everyone sits down and exchanges notes; which is far better than exchanging thoughts and prayers. Only George is not happy about this and pushes his plate aside. Mr. Rabbit goes over and says that he thought he was a rabbit because rabbits love carrots. It's anthro rabbits who love carrots, you moron! George forks one carrot and nibbles on it; and then instantly changes his mind and loves carrots now. I should also note that excessive amounts of carrots can cause liver damage via overdosing Vitamin A, in addition to the sugar levels. Pigs can tolerate carrots better than rabbits, dose is the poison wise. Peppa is happy about this as Mummy Pig brings out a carrot cake which has whole carrots sticking in the cake. Leave it to Mummy Rabbit to overkill the obvious here. I think carrot cake is one of the few terms George has been able to say properly without some funny pronouncation of it. Rebecca believes that George is now a rabbit for real as George squeaks on cue. Everyone laughs as we zoom out out of the hill to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Annoying rabbit feeding mistips aside; this was another fun episode. *** 1/4 (65%).

The Quarrel : Next up is episode #95 on the animation paper as we begin on the house on the hill and zoom in as Suzy and Peppa are sitting on the floor in the middle of the room flipping cards as the narrator claims that they are playing Snap. Apparently; the rules of engagement are that you win by saying "SNAP" if you both draw the same card. So they both draw cyan blue star; but since Suzy said it first, she wins. Apparently; Suzy also gains cards and the last card Peppa has is a lime green fish, Suzy draws the same card, and it's snap, she wins again. Peppa then proclaims that Suzy cheated, even though there were no signs that Suzy cheated at all. Peppa claims that she looked at the card, and I'm certain she did not and they blow each other off and proclaim that they do not want to play with each other anymore, over a card game. And you know that moral guardians will blame the card game instead of Peppa being insecure about losing, since she's the star of this show. There is snorting and raspberrying going on as Suzy throws down the cards; and it might as well be a mic drop for everyone who doesn't like Peppa's troll like behavior. We hear a doorbell and Peppa, Mummy Pig, Mummy Sheep and Suzy Sheep arrive at the door and the kids say they refuse to talk to each other; but still blow each other off which is still talking to each other. If the message is that quarrels are useless, this would convince me somewhat. Mummy Pig is in denial of this; and Suzy and Peppa blow her off for thinking this is funny. And really, it is not funny. Suzy and Mummy Sheep get into the car and it drives down the hill. So we head into the kitchen as we are having spaghetti again, as usual. Daddy Pig calls for everyone to come in as Peppa walks in sulking. Daddy asks what is wrong as Mummy Pig explains the situation and Peppa does miss Suzy a bit. So Mummy Pig decides to call Mummy Sheep and try a phone intervention. Suzy wants Peppa to apologize and Peppa apologizes for saying that she cheated; but not for accusing her of cheating, so this turns into a not-apology basically. Suzy of course blows her off and apologizes for ever meeting her and being her best friend and she hangs up. Peppa blows it off and claims that she ca find a new best friend. If I were Rebecca Rabbit; I would run. So, we head to the playground as everyone including Suzy and Peppa are there. Suzy is on the swing and Peppa is doing putt-putt golfing. Pedro and Danny Dog are on the roundabout giggling. They are best friends, just like George and Richard on the seesaw with Mummy Rabbit and Mummy Pig. Here's a logic break for you: When we saw the swings in the far shot; there was only one swing available. When we cut to Suzy at the swings; there are two swings now. I have no problem with the artwork; but try to at least mantain good shot continuity. This is not good shot continuity.

Back to Peppa as she cannot mini golf all that well and she sighs. In comes Emily Elephant as they exchange notes for a while; but Emily no sells the deal because Candy Cat is her best friend and you can only have one best friend. This is a stupid way to think. By the way; both Candy and Emily easily put their balls into the hole, making Peppa look even worse. They giggle for a while as Suzy notices Zoe Zebra finishing being on the slide. Suzy asks Zoe to be her best friend; but since there can be only one, Rebecca Rabbit is her best friend. So Suzy and Peppa finally meet and greet like it was the first time they have ever met. Daddy Pig comes in and assumes that they are friends again, and the kids blow off each other. This is like two countries who were bickering and threatening war on each other, wanting to defuse the situation and come to some understanding and then a big fat country comes in and interferes, causing the two sides to go into war mode again. See, USA against any country that they can manipulate into their best interests and made even worse with Trump as president. So yes, Daddy Pig is interfering in this and ordering Peppa to apologize outright to Suzy and Peppa wants SUZY to apologize first. Considering that Suzy did nothing wrong, except beat Peppa twice in Snap, Peppa should apologize to Suzy. This makes Peppa look like an asshole now. Suzy rightfully points out who should say sorry first. Daddy Pig only made this situation worse now! And he wants them to say their sorry at the same time after three seconds. After the count of three, they say sorry in the most unconvincing way and then they cheer and become friends again. Just like that! So, they run over to play mini-golf. Here's the ending to this tale: Peppa putts her ball and she still cannot make the hole. Suzy puts her ball less than three feet away from the cup (and much closer than Peppa did; so she is cheating here...) and putts the ball, the ball bonks into Peppa's ball and Peppa's ball goes into the cup. Peppa claims that she won; but Suzy protests. I'm on Peppa's side here because Suzy put her ball much closer to the cup than Peppa did, and Suzy did try to claim that her ball made Peppa's ball go into the ball, so she should win, even though her ball didn't go in. This is just BS to get the two to blow each other off and drop their clubs as Daddy calls them one in the same; and both kids agree with him as they call themselves the best friends ever and hug as everyone giggles to end the episode at 4:30 approx. I didn't like the quarrel between two old men in Gargoyles (well, one male human being and one male gargoyle), and this wasn't much better. It was as petty as thoughts and prayers, but at least no one got killed, so there's that. ** (40%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; this was the usual set of fun shorts with two standouts and one clunker. The Quarrel was just dumb and petty; clearly showing that Peppa should have apologized outright but didn't. Ice Skating was great, although it wasn't the masterpiece Swimming brought to the table, it was mostly due to George ice skating that brought the rating up. The Cycle Ride was also really good due to Mummy Pig making Daddy Pig blush and Pedro Pony being Pedro Pony at his best. Overall; another good set of shorts as we wind down Series 2 next time with the remaining seven shorts. However; that'll have to wait because Easter Sadism is coming up next! So...

Thumbs up for Ice Skating and The Cycle Ride, thumbs down for The Quarrel, thumbs in the middle for the rest and I'll see you all next time.

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