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Peppa Pig: Series Two #4 Rant

Reviewed: 03/27/2018

The Beginning Of The End Of The Motions...

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Okay; so we head back to Series two as we start the final seven episodes with toy cupboards, school camps, bouncy balls, stars, a cold winter day, and Daddy Pig being a captain and a birthday of his own. YAY! Yeah; welcome to the final episodes of the Cecily Bloom era of Peppa Pig. So; how do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley and Mark Baker; except for School Camp and Stars, which are written by Chris Parker. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

The Toy Cupboard : So; we start with episode #96 on the animation paper, as we begin on the house on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) and zoom into Peppa's bedroom. We see George and Peppa getting into their beds, which is filled with toys for no reason whatsoever. Mummy and Daddy Pig are shocked and appalled by this and Daddy Pig wants them to put the toys that live on the beds in the basket. One problem: The basket is already full of toys and overflowing as it is. Mummy Pig proclaims that it's time to have a toy cupboard and Daddy Pig plans to make one tomorrow, which Mummy Pig blows him off on. Daddy Pig claims that he was proud of that slanting shelf out of nowhere near the door and Peppa Pig mocks it as Teddy and Mr. Dinesaur are now on the slide...the shelf slide. Daddy Pig is so proud at being dumb. So, Daddy Pig agrees to buy a toy cupboard and we get a sequence of the family in Mummy Pig's office on the computer doing on-line shopping. This was 11 years ago, by the way, when on-line shopping was a much smaller thing than it is right now in spite of privacy concerns. They choose the one with all the rainbow colors and shapes; because it looks like a legit children's toy cupboard. Okay. The green basket icon moves and catches the cupboard and it flashes into a white background as a woman's voice informs us that the cupboard has been ordered as Peppa calls this pretty. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. So, it is morning as the cock crows and the sun struggles to rise up this morning. In comes the yellow post truck with Mr. Zebra driving it. So, they literally got 24 hour shipping on that toy cupboard, so this is a rich middle class family. Mr. Zebra honks the clown horn and down comes Peppa and George along with the parents from down the stairs, heading into the lobby. The door opens and in comes Mr. Zebra bringing in the large narrow box addressing it to Mrs. Peppa Pig and Master George. Master George? Since when? Mr. Zebra explains that this parcel is the toy cupboard and Peppa calls it a bit flat. I love real comments that aren't suppose to be real comments. It's a DIY cupboard, natch. However; Mr. Zebra tells them not to worry because Daddy Pig can easily built this and then walks out, closing the door. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~! So it's time to build said cupboard as the parents slowly climb up the stairs with it.

We head to Peppa's bedroom as Daddy Pig opens the bottom and shakes out all the pieces. Daddy checks the boxes and cannot find the instructions, so Mummy Pig assumes that it's so easy to build that it doesn't require instructions. Occam's Razor suggests that the instructions are buried inside the pile they shook out. So we begin trying to build this cupboard as Peppa and George help while Daddy Pig does absolutely nothing. Although, after building that slantly shelf, I don't know if anyone cares if Daddy Pig does nothing but carry the toys. Sadly; the end result is a small heart shelf on four blue legs. In which only Teddy fits in. George brings out a purple piece and the family has realized that the shelf isn't even close to being done, so they'll have to take it apart and start all over again. Daddy Pig is not thrilled to hear this and want those instructions. So, then the doorbell rings and the family goes down stairs to the lobby. The door opens and in comes Mr. Zebra with the missing instructions. At least we can blame the shipping company for not putting the instructions inside the parcel on this one, instead of Mummy and Daddy being total idiots builting this thing and didn't see the instructions inside the pile. Then Daddy Pig reads the instructions and gives up, calling the instructions nonsense. In other words; Mummy Pig was a lot more proactive than Daddy Pig was here. Mr. Zebra decides to help as he goes upstairs to build the toy cupboard and has only one order to Daddy Pig: Fix him a kettle of tea with six sugars, because he loves sweet tea, you see. So, we get a sequence of the family preparing tea and biscuits (chocolate chip cookies in North America) on a tray and then everyone goes up and Peppa is in awe because Mr. Zebra has completed the work on the toy cupboard. Now, there's a bit of an expert on this things, Daddy Pig! Mr. Zebra shows off the shelves as they are stuffed with toys. Enough that even the basket is empty now. However; there are two toys he couldn't fit: Teddy and Mr. Dinesaur. So let's order another toy cupboard, in which Daddy Pig blows off in kind. Mummy Pig has a better idea; just let Peppa and George sleep with them like they always do. Everyone does the backsplash laugh to end this episode at 4:30 approx. Another fun episode in a series of them. *** (60%).

School Camp: We continue on with episode #97 on the animation paper as we head on a boring road in the blue bus driven by Miss Rabbit, as all the kids (minus Richard and George) are in their bus seats giggling with Madame Gazelle. Less than twenty seconds in, Pedro F'N Pony is bus sick (travel sick as said by the narrator) because the road is bumpy. So, he has shaking camera syndrome that a lot of ranters and reviewers like me can have from time to time watching these shows. Madame Gazelle offers a seat in the front and Pedro Pony gleefully takes as the kids are basically wanting to sit in the front seat with Madame Gazelle; despite only having room for one kid. I know this because Zoe is asking for the same thing and claims that she might get bus sick later. Cheeky little ones these kids are. Gazelle nicely blows them off and it's even funnier when Emily Elephant and Candy Cat are sitting in the front in the opposite row as Madame Gazelle! All of them want to sit with the teacher, cheeky little kids! All this was rendered moot since Miss Rabbit and her bus have reached the camp site since this is a school camping trip. The kids all pop for this as the bus stops and everyone except Miss Rabbit gets off the bus with their camping gear. Miss Rabbit drives away in her bus backwards wishing them good luck on the camping stuff. There is a camping sign in the middle of this clearing as Madame Gazelle explains where they are and wants everyone to breathe in the fresh air. Everyone complies which is funny considering that there isn't much polluted air in this ficitional world of Peppa Pig. Next spot: everyone puts up their tents within ten seconds. Next spot: Everyone must choose a partner, but Suzy is trying to weasel her way out of being Peppa's partner; but Zoe picks Rebecca whom in turn weasels her way out and Rebecca picks Candy. Emily comes in and picks Zoe, leaving just Suzy and Peppa. Considering what happened in The Quarrel; it's clear none of the other friends wants anything to do with Suzy nor Peppa jerkassery. Of course, there is no mixing of genders and since Danny Dog and Pedro Pony are boys, they can only be partners in this camp trip. Madame Gazelle gets the big tent alone of course as she needs sticks to get the campfire going. The girls are willing, the boys are willing, Madame Gazelle wants them all to do it because she is the adult and she'll handle making the campfire for obvious reasons. So all the kids are grabbing and carrying sticks, mostly Peppa and Suzy. The kids set the sticks down into a tent like stick house and we look at them.

Jump cut to AFTER HAPPY HOUR with a shot of the crescent moon in the sky as we zoom out with the kids and Madame Gazelle with the campfire already made. Yeah; I knew BS&P wasn't going to let us see Madame Gazelle make a fire, which makes me sad because Madame Gazelle making a campfire is MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. So is Daddy Pig, but for a much different reason. Madame Gazelle has her guitar sitting down, which means we get to hear her sing, which is always a delightful thing to hear. The lime green big tent also has a red camping flag on it, for no reason. The kids all want the bing-bong song and Gazelle is not sure about this, so the kids say please. And in the pre-school world, when they all say please in unison, you are singing that song. So, we invoke the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM to waste time and quite frankly, I can handle this song being played in the background for the rest of the episode, because it is awesome! So after that lovely song, everyone giggles and heads to bed as the tents are slightly like the TARDIS; but only slightly. We head inside Peppa's tent with Peppa and Suzy in their sleeping bags giggling. Peppa and Suzy then flashes torches on each others faces, just to be trolls. Giggling ensues as we head outside and all the kids have torches on and giggling like naughty, cheeky little kids. Gazelle is a light sleeper as she opens her tent and brings out the megaphone, and nicely tells them to sod off with this. Apparently; she wants them to stop giggling, but don't say anything about the torches, even though the kids turn them off anyway. Gazelle closes the tent as we jump cut to a closeup shot of an owl in a tree and then zoom out as it hoots. Jump cut to inside Peppa's tent as both Suzy and Peppa are wake and confused by this noise. The hooting continues as Suzy climbs out of the tent and flashes the torch at Madame Gazelle's tent and even Peppa isn't happy for her doing that. Madame Gazelle opens her tent and asks if Suzy wants to come in because Suzy is scared, you see. Suzy says yes and gets in. Then Peppa follows her lead and gets invited; as well as the rest of the kids, so much for the separation of kids and teachers in this world. I shake my head in disbelief. So, everyone gets inside as we turn the torch on and this served the purpose so that Gazelle can sing the bing-bong song again. Of course! We zoom out with Gazelle singing to end the episode at 4:30 approx. The Bing-bong song was great, everything else was all right. *** 1/2 (70%).

Captain Daddy Pig: Moving right along with episode #98 on the animation paper as we begin this one on a boring river with Grandpa and Grandma Pig on a bridge as Daddy Pig has borrowed Grandpa Pig's boat for the day with the entire Pig family standing on the boat with only the kids wearing life jackets. Oh; and George has the pirate's hat on for this special event. Grandpa Pig tells Daddy Pig about the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) as Daddy Pig does a fine job obeying his commands. Also; Daddy Pig should take care of it because it had been just painted, which earns a scolding from Grandma Pig. Then Grandpa Pig is totally justifed in his behavior as Daddy Pig pulls the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and nearly causes the boat to bump into the bridge, luckly he pushes the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and goes forwards away from said bridge. Daddy Pig is almost dumb. They all say their goodbyes and Grandpa Pig is pleading for them to come back in one piece, which Grandma Pig blows off in kind. So Mummy Pig takes over the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) as Peppa rings the bell. Peppa rubs her tummy; because she's a bit hungry. Mummy Pig informs Daddy Pig that their is a picnic from the grandparents in the galley; which is a small kitchen in the boat. Peppa asks, that's why I mentioned it. So Daddy Pig opens the trapdoor and he and the kids go into the galley as Daddy Pig can barely get in. So yeah, trouble. Daddy Pig opens doors and gets no picnics; but lots of toys, tripping and an ironing board containing more irony than a human being with no self-awareness whatsoever. Oh, and somehow there is a television in the boat as Daddy Pig declares this to be impossible, so guess where Peppa got that from? A little lesson to the moral guardians: They are all very aware about your complaints and they know parenting is not easy. Never assume that the writers do not have children, you makes yourselves look like it's all about you...Oh wait, never mind. So Peppa opens the bottom door to the right after some pondering and there is the picnic, making Daddy Pig look dumb again. Everyone giggles and we move on topside to everyone eating food on the deck; and here comes the ducks right on time for the usual annoying feeding spot.

After the feeding, we head to the tall weeds as Mummy Pig warns Daddy Pig about them; and Daddy Pig pushes the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) because Grandpa Pig's boat is a macho boat according to him. Sadly; it is not as the boat gets stucker than Daddy Pig on a slide. Daddy Pig tries going in reverse, no go. They are now, officially stuck. However; Daddy Pig has a plan: He jumps down into the water and is going to give the boat a push while Mummy Pig pulls the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and this works way too well because the boat is now out and it's going so fast that Daddy Pig has to literally swim for his life. HAHA! Daddy Pig is in deep water and Mummy Pig cannot properly hear him to stop the damn engine, even though I can clearly hear him with the water in effect. So, bad acting from Daddy there. Peppa still hears him loud and clear so Mummy Pig stops the engines and the boat stops right there. Daddy Pig claims he's fine as he gets on the boat. Daddy Pig has had enough of this and wants to go home and the others agree with him. So we head back to the bridge as Grandpa and Grandma Pig are still standing on the bridge. Grandpa Pig is complaining as usual; but here comes the boat as it's perfectly all right and Daddy Pig stops the boat and Mummy Pig and the kids all hop off. Daddy Pig wants to park the boat; but Grandpa Pig in a cocky fashion corrects him because it's monoir a boat. It's dock a boat, you cheeky old bastard! Grandpa gets on the boat and claims that the secret to docking this boat is to do it carefully. However; Grandpa forgets what direction the boat is in because it pulls the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) which is the opposite direction to where the boat was at the start of the episode, therefore it goes backwards towards the bridge. Daddy is yelling about it to Grandpa, Grandpa brainfarts, the boat goes through the bridge and destroys the mast, making Grandpa Pig look like a bigger dummy than Daddy Pig ever was. HAHA! Grandma Pig reminds him that he'll have fun mending that broken mast as Grandpa Pig admits to that. Peppa wants to help in this mending thing, Grandpa Pig agrees and the male adults do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Loved the finish, liked most of this episode, still don't like feeding ducks. *** 3/4 (75%).

Bouncy Ball: Here is episode #100 (YAY!) on the animation paper and episode opens on the house on the hill as the back door opens and out comes Peppa and George with the spotted bouncy ball. They bounce the ball down the hill and head to the bottom of the hill. George throws the ball high into the air and catches it perfectly. Peppa grabs the ball and claims that she can top that as she throws the ball high into the air and it bounces off her noggin. The narrator proudly proclaims that Peppa has missed the ball, causing George to giggle. Peppa blows this off as silly and in comes Suzy Sheep on her bicycle with two badminton rackets; which the narrator claims are tennis rackets. Also, rackets are sometimes worded as racquets by the way. So, Suzy and Peppa play tennis with the bouncy ball for a while; which looks more like bad volleyball playing, and Peppa bounces the ball over Suzy's head and misses because Peppa is a...you guessed it. Suzy bails and returns with the bouncy ball; and proceeds to get back at Peppa by bouncing the ball over Peppa's head. Peppa bails and returns with the ball and they play volleyball badminton for a while, which causes George to not be thrilled about being left out...again. So, he bawls his eyes out on cue and that gets their attention. Peppa apologizes (Riiigggghhhttttt) because they only have two racquets, so Suzy proclaims that George can be the ball boy. Which basically means George does all the work, while Peppa and Suzy can act like trolls without consequences. Lovely! I should note that the cherry tree is now a blueberry tree, for no reason. So, yes; Suzy and Peppa act like trolls, call for the ball boy, George runs around getting the ball, gets zero respect and after the second time, George bawls his eyes out as a cry for help. The narrator says it all as in comes Danny Dog, Pedro Pony, Candy Cat, Rebecca Rabbit and Richard Rabbit on bicycles. Everyone dismounts with full helmet throwdown as we meet and greet. The kids want to play tennis; but there are only two rackets (in more ways than one). So Danny Dog suggests they play soccer (football outside North America) and of course Peppa wants it girls against boys. Sigh, why? So Pedro F'N Pony and Rebecca Rabbit are the goalkeepers. Having Pedro Pony being anything is whistling past the graveyard at this point. So goalposts are two trees: One with blueberries and one with apples. Of course, the boys are the blue team and the girls are the red team. Of course! So Danny Dog starts and kicks it to Peppa. Peppa kicks it away right into Richard. Richard dribbles around everyone, and it's clear that no one on the girl's side has even played nor seen soccer and Richard kicks into past Rebecca in between the trees for the easy goal. All within the rules of soccer I might add.

Danny Dog proclaims that the boys are winning and Peppa calls it unfair because they were not ready, which is a tact admission that they have never played soccer before. So, Rebecca Rabbit grabs the ball and runs towards the other side and no one bothers to kick the ball out of her hands. Danny Dog calls that unfair, but Rebecca claims that she is the goalkeeper and can handle the ball with her hands. According to the rules of goalkeeper in soccer: You can hold it with your hands and run with said ball, however; you have SIX seconds to throw it to another player. She held the ball for at least TEN seconds and that is against the rules. She also throws the ball into the net and of course, Pedro Pony leaps long before Rebecca even throws the ball and misses completely as the ball is thrown in between the trees for a goal that would be disallowed in any sane universe. The girls all pop and Pedro grabs the ball and declares this a no goal. Which according to the rules; Pedro is correct here. If she had handled it for FIVE seconds and then chucked it into the net, the goal would be allowed. Everyone yells at each other like a bunch of annoying kids. Oh, wait...In comes Daddy Pig as each side is accusing the other of CHEAT TO WIN~! I'm on the boys side here, since Rebecca held the ball for more than ten seconds. So, Daddy Pig defuses the situation by being THEIR SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE~! Sadly; the parody of this was the only one I could find on Youtube. Everyone wants to be the ref in this; but that is more disallowed than the goal Rebecca Rabbit scored. Daddy Pig blows the whistle, declares himself the ref and the one who score a goal wins the game in this silly episode. So, then everyone is confused where the ball is as we hear ball noises and see George and Richard in a convoy; but Candy Cat manages to cut them off. George and Richard then make a fatal error: They turn around, go around everyone and then kick the ball into their own goal for an own goal. The boys seriously believe they have won the game until Daddy Pig points out that they scored in their own net, so the girls win by default. Yes, Richard Rabbit; after scoring a fair and honest goal, scores the goal to beat his own team! And after claiming that soccer is a silly game; the girls are now calling it a great game in spite of the fact that they cheated to score the second goal and it was the boys own stupidity that won them the game! Even if no sexism is involved, this is a stupid finish. All this did was bury Pedo Pony even further as the world's worst goalkeeper. Everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. What a stupid episode this was?! And the finish just buried everyone involved. * 1/2 (30%).

Stars: Okay; here is episode #101 on the animation paper and we begin this one on the house on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR with piano music. We zoom into the kitchen and see Daddy Pig, Peppa, and Mummy Pig at the kitchen table drinking hot milk as Peppa is already in her pjs. The pigs blow on their hot milk as George comes in wearing a spacesuit and carrying a toy rocket ship. So, he has a new gimmick of loving a space motif rather than a dinosaur motif. Okay, he's just two years old anyway and is going through that phrase. He's also smirking a lot as he cannot drink his hot milk; because his spacesuit has a mouth guard on. I know this because his nose is sticking out and thus could still splash the milk into his face if he wanted to. Peppa takes off the space helmet and George drinks a lot of milk causing him to burp and everyone else to giggle in that order. Time for bed as the kids go into Peppa's room and sleep in the bunk beds. George now has a space motif mobile hanging underneath Peppa's bunk; that plays background music of this show when George tugs on the ring. Peppa is not amused by this because space is boring to her and Daddy Pig thinks it's not. His reason: because of all those stars out. Ummm; I only see one and it's not literally a star. Even Peppa knows this as Daddy Pig suggests going outside and Peppa loves to. Mummy Pig isn't exactly thrilled about this; but she relents when Daddy Pig suggest wearing their coats over their pjs. George is wearing white pj's on for no reason that I can think of. Head outside as the Pig Family has their winter gear on and Daddy Pig flops onto the hill for no reason that I can think of. Oh wait; it's because it's the best way to look at the stars. Okay; so everyone flops on the ground and we watch the stars for a long ass whomping time. There's the Big Dipper as we use the sky as a diagram blueprint to show the last two stars showing the North Star. And who says this show isn't educational? Peppa sings and she wants to get to the North Star by car; which is impossible by the way. It's farther than the seaside; but it can appear closer using a telescope...from Grandpa Pig's house which Daddy Pig doesn't want to go. However; Mummy Pig wants to go see them on this late night for one night only as Peppa pops for this and they all get into the car as the narrator tells us that this is the first time Peppa and George have been in the car at night. Daddy Pig is driving the car. Which by the way, magically appeared out of nowhere since the opening shot of this episode showed no car in sight. Daddy Pig notices the North Star as he's driving, Peppa giggles.

The headlights are turned on and Peppa sings some more. I see Peppa said twinkly in the same sense as biggly. So we head up to the white house on the hill, and Peppa rings the doorbell. Mummy Pig isn't so sure about this anyone as the lights were off; clearly indicating that the grandparents were in bed. The lights get turned back on and the door opens; we see the grandparents in their night gear as Grandpa Pig demands answers to this outrage. Peppa calmly explains that she wants to see the stars via his telescope. Grandpa Pig is perfectly fine with this as they all walk inside and up the stairs, then up the ladder into the attic. We then see the big ass white telescope pointing at the window; a telescope we have never seen until now. I don't think we ever see this thing again after this episode. So the window is open as the telescope peers out the window. Peppa of course is first to be held by Grandpa Pig to look in the telescope, because she's the star of this show. Surprise bit of detail: There is light in Peppa and George's eye when they look into the telescope; something I don't usually see in these spots in other cartoons. Grandpa Pig talks about sailors using the North Star as a guide as Peppa jokes about Daddy Pig using the North Star to find the grandparents. We giggle for a while as Grandpa Pig adjusts the telescope and Peppa gets to see Saturn. Grandpa Pig explains that the rings of Saturn are made from rock and ice. Actually; it's mostly ice with a trace of rock, if you are into a more naunced explaination. Then we get the wettest of wet dreams: Peppa and George running on Saturn's rings while a snowman is on it. In reality; they are running around Grandpa Pig giggling together. Grandpa Pig grabs Peppa and shows her a shooting star and her wish is for George to take Peppa into space via his rocket when he grows up. Which in the dream sequence, George looks exactly like he does at two years old as Peppa does at four years old. They didn't even have enough in the budget for adult models of Peppa and George. So we end this episode at 4:30 approx with the kids in a rocket looking at the sights of space, giggling. This was an all right episode. ** 3/4 (55%).

Daddy Pig's Birthday: So; here is episode #102 on the animation paper as we open the episode on the house on the hill as the car is on the eastern side of the hill pointing east. So, it's Daddy Pig's birthday and he starts the day...by heading outside in his work clothes and luggage; because he has to go to work on his birthday. Peppa wishes he didn't have to work on his birthday and Daddy Pig agrees with him. Personally; I would rather work on my birthday and have a party when I get home. Even on my birthday, there is a time and place for both. Daddy Pig starts the car and drives away as everyone says their goodbyes. So, Mummy Pig and the kids head into the kitchen because it's time to bake a cake with flour, sugar, eggs, chocolate and butter. Not too much butter though, because you know...It's Daddy's favorite cake: Homemade chocolate cake. Peppa would like to stir and Mummy Pig is fine with this. This is trouble as Peppa and George both stir the bowl and this leads to excessive splashing of the chocolate batter. I'm not pleased with this because this is a waste of perfectly good homemade cake batter. Mummy Pig breaks it up and we pour the chocolate batter into the pan, as we have a one layer chocolate cake. That seems a little low bridge for a birthday cake. Mummy Pig opens the oven and puts the pan into the oven, and closes said oven. So Peppa gets to lick the spoon and George licks the bowl. I've already mentioned how risky this is in a previous rant, so I won't mention it again. Besides, this seems like a unfair trade off for Peppa. Peppa and George don't care as they lick away. Mummy Pig is sad that Daddy Pig cannot be here to see all this fun; so Peppa wants to ring Daddy Pig in and say happy birthday to him. Wait; so you forgot to do that before he went to work? That is kind of trollish behavior on Peppa's part. Mummy Pig brings out the cell phone and dials for Daddy's place at work. So Peppa has the phone as we head to Daddy Pig's office as Mr. Rabbit, Mummy Cat and Daddy Pig are working on those stamps and coloring books. I think.

The phone rings and Mr. Rabbit answers the phone and Peppa asks for Daddy. Mr. Rabbit lets Daddy call on his red phone because it might be important. Daddy Pig answers the phone and Peppa screams happy birthday twice to him. Daddy Pig is fine with this by the way; as Peppa tells him to not come home late. Daddy says he won't be late and hangs up the phone. Suddenly, it appears Mummy Cat and Mr. Rabbit were listening in and just had the birthday party flavors on full blast just in case. I don't know weither I should be pissed off at that lack of privacy (although it is still better a breach than the Facebook debacle, that is for sure), or laughing that the workers actually had a plan on retainer in case a birthday broke out. Oh, and the party blowers have feathers on them, for no reason. Daddy Pig is blushing and I don't know if it's out of finding out that they know it's his birthday or out of fear that they will use those feathers to tickle him. We head back to the house on the hill as we head into the kitchen with Mummy Pig, Peppa and George talking about some big surprise that we aren't supposed to know because it's all hush-hush, so to speak. So, we open the door and the kids head out with buckets of water. Oh, come on now! If you cannot guess what the final surprise is, you have no business reading this rant nor watching this show. Yeah; they might not be wearing boots on, but I'm not fooled. So they head to two trees as Mummy Pig comes out with balloons and everyone ties them to the branches of the tree. The narrator is confused. I think they want us to believe that Peppa and George are going to chuck the water from the buckets onto Daddy Pig; but I have seen this show too many times to realize that is not the case. So, the horn on the car is honking as Peppa realizes that Daddy Pig is here. So they all get back in the house as Daddy Pig arrives in his car and gets inside as he is wearing a goofy party hat. Cut to the sitting room as we have the gifts, birthday cake which claims that Daddy Pig is 13 years old judging by the amount of candles on the cake! Which to Peppa means he's very, very old. Again; what a troll?!

George has a party blower with a feather attached to it. Why? So, the party begins with Daddy Pig having to blow out the candles and he has ONE SHOT to do it; or he will be mocked again, I guess. He needs to blush to blow out the remaining three candles, but he succeeds anyway. The kids give Daddy Pig a present which Daddy Pig shakes the box and opens it. It's a pair of red boots; and if you haven't figured out the final spot of the show by now, I don't know what else I can tell you. So; Daddy Pig wants to break in the new boots so everyone walks out of the house with their boots down and goes down the hill. They find a small muddy puddle and Daddy Pig jumps into them and this seems fine, but the puddle is too little for them. Mummy Pig motions everyone to the trees where the balloons and the buckets of water are as Daddy Pig is confused. Peppa proclaims that this is Daddy Pig's birthday surprise and it's still hush-hush at this point as George giggles. Peppa and George grab the buckets and splash water onto the ground forming a large birthday sized muddy puddle. DING! Daddy Pig jumps in to test the boots and they work perfectly as he is muddy. He offers everyone to join in and they do as we jump up and down in muddy puddles and cause earthquakes. Daddy Pig calls this the best birthday ever and really, I cannot argue with that overwhelming logic there. The balloon bounce until the pigs do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was the best birthday episode of the lot, because it ended in a muddy puddle. How many birthdays end in that? **** 1/4 (85%).

Cold Winter Day: Here is episode #104 on the animation paper as we head to the house on the hill as it's winter, but you could never tell since the lack of detail in the background makes it appear that it could be fall or summer. Peppa and company come out in their winter outfits as it's windy and cold. The kids rub their hands as they giggle as the narrator points out what they are wearing and the kids are non-verbalizing everything the narrator is saying. They run through the garden as the trees have no leaves and fruit, thus it is winter for sure, since the fall would still have leaves on the trees. Although nowadays, trees in winter can have lots of leaves from time to time. Climate change everyone. So Peppa and George find a conveniently placed muddy puddle and the kids are all giddy about this. Peppa jumps onto the muddy puddle; but it's turned to ice and Peppa slips and falls on her back with a resounding thud. OUCH! Peppa has to awkwardly walk off the ice as George giggles. Peppa blows him off because it's not funny. Hey; if Lucy yanking the football from Charlie Brown is funny, then this is too. Ah; here comes the parents as Daddy Pig demonstrates how dumb he is by jumping in the muddy puddle and nearly doing the splits as a result. So, muddy puddle jumping is out, so let's feed the ducks with a bag of bread...AGAIN! Oh lord, not this again. So we see the yellow ducks quacking near their frozen pond as Peppa throws bread crumbs onto the frozen pond and none of them combine with the water this time. The ducks slip and slide; forcing them to use their tails to stop themselves on the ice in stereo as the pigs laugh at their expense. Sadly for them; this was in fact funny. The ducks eat the bread, and don't sound like they liked this sense of humor Peppa has. Then it starts to snow and the kids are giddy for this as they catch snowflakes with their hands for a while. We get closeups of them; they look identical to each other as the snow is actually accumlating. Cut to a hill as Suzy comes down the hill on her sled (toboggan) and stops in front of the Pig family for the meet and greet. Suzy offers them to come up to the big hill to see all the kids (minus Richard Rabbit) sledding.

Mummy and Daddy Pig agree with this as we see Suzy Sheep returning up the hill to meet with the other kids (minus Richard Rabbit) and Danny Dog simply couldn't wait for the Pig family to come up because he has already sheld down the hill having the time of his life. Cut to the Pig family trying to walk up the hill and George slips and slides down to the bottom of the hill looking all confused as hell. Peppa proclaims that this was funny. Sadly for George, it was funny. George's response to this: Not funny. WAAHHHHHHHHHH~! Daddy Pig comes over to console them and offers to carry both George and Peppa up the hill. Mummy Pig warns Daddy Pig not to slip and Daddy Pig assures her that this will NOT happen to him. Yeah; I'll bet! So, as the Pig adults go up the hill with the kids in tow; the kids on top of the hill are giggling as Danny Dog returns and now he wants a race. Everyone agrees and they all sled down the hill; so yes, Danny Dog has already sled the hill twice before the Pig family got to see him do so. Danny Dog is such a dick! So the Pig family gets onto the top of the hill and Mummy Pig continues to warn him about slipping. Daddy Pig doesn't look where he is going and he slips and lands on his back as the kids land on DADDY'S BIG TUMMY~! Then Daddy Pig slides down the hill with Peppa and George on top of his belly as Peppa calls him a big toboggan. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Oh; I betcha he wins the race, too. I check the video...Damn; I'm good. Candy Cat is second, Zoe Zebra is third, Rebecca Rabbit is fourth, Emily Elephant is fifth, Suzy Sheep is sixth, Danny Dog is seventh and Pedro Pony is in last place. This is the worst performance for Danny Dog so far in this series. Mummy Pig comes as Peppa says it all. Daddy Pig does not think it's funny, but it is and Daddy Pig is dumb. Everyone laughs as Daddy Pig relents to end the episode and Series Two at 4:30 approx. Duck feeding aside, this was a great episode, mostly for the slipups. *** 3/4 (75%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; Bouncy Ball was really annoying to me since it had a really stupid finish that made the boys look like idiots where they had to allow the girls to cheat and have to basically beat themselves to allow the girls to win. That's awful booking. If you want a fluke win for the girls; let Peppa score the goal herself with the ball bouncing off Pedro's hands. Also; the George ball boy routine was really dumb as well. This was a rare clunker to say the least. Daddy Pig's Birthday was an instant classic even if it was predictable at the end; but the payoff made sense with what they were shooting for as well. Stars and Captain Daddy Pig were really fun as well, the rest was just there. So, that ends Series Two and I'm impressed so far with this series in spite of the problems with this episode. Next up is Series Three as I'm going to an eight episode format rather than a 12 episode format because 12 episodes per rant is too much for me. This also means more rants and a need for Peppa Pig to have it's own section of the Rant Shack instead of just merely being part of the Others section. Series Three is also the era of Harley Bird as Peppa Pig, a role she is still doing at this point and this is when the show really gets popular and the narrator gets much, much better as well. It's also when the episode quality really improves too. So...

Thumbs up for Daddy Pig's Birthday, thumbs down for Bouncy Ball, thumbs in the middle (two were pointing close to up) and I'll see you all next time.

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