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Peppa Pig: Series Three #1 Rant

Reviewed: 04/07/2018

The Beginning Of Harley Bird & The Cheeky Narrator!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Okay; so we head back to Series three as we start the first eight episodes of the Harley Bird era as the gloves are finally off of this show as it turns from just a normal pre-school show into a legendary pre-school show. So; how do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Work And Play: So, we begin Series three with episode #106 on the animation paper and the episode opens on the house on the hill as Daddy Pig comes out and sets up his chair. He sits down in the chair with a newspaper saying that he is doing absolutely nothing. Daddy Pig loves to do nothing...AND THE ROCK MEANS NOTHING! Even though reading the newspaper is in fact doing something. Peppa and George comes out, asking why he is not at work and Daddy Pig claims that it's Saturday. Out comes Mummy Pig to inform him that it's not Saturday, it's Thursday; which means Daddy Pig has to go to work. Daddy Pig panics, grabs the luggage, runs to the out of nowhere car, hops in and drives down the hill saying later to the family. He forgot to dress up during this, too. Daddy Pig cannot tell time. Everyone else goes inside and upstairs to the computer as Mummy Pig has to work as well; since it's Thursday, you see. She must be typing more cryptic letters or something as George cuts that off by pushing a button and playing Happy Mrs. Chicken again. Not only is this a real life game you can play on your PC; it even appeared as a mini game when Peppa Pig videogames were released on Nintendo Wii and DS by Ubi Soft. Considering that T*HQ Nordic is bringing back Nickeledeon productions, I hope they get the license for Peppa Pig with it so we can remaster this game on the Nintendo Switch. This would be awesome for my amusement and for 98% of the audience's annoyance. Mummy Pig cuts that off and promises to play after work. George actually does not cry during this and just says "oh". Then we hear horns honking because here comes Mummy Sheep and Suzy Sheep in their blue car. Of course, Mummy Sheep has to park on the steepest side of the hill. Suzy and Mummy Sheep hop out of the car as Mummy Pig and Peppa Pig go outside for the meet and greet. Peppa, Suzy and Mummy Sheep get into Mummy Sheep's car which has turned around in the opposite direction within seconds. Peppa waves goodbye and tells Mummy Pig to work hard; because we must also play hard. So we see Mummy Sheep's car driving westward on the boring road as Peppa asks Mummy Sheep: Work or play. Mummy Sheep claims that she's working out at the gym. Huh. I wonder why? Peppa asks what she does at the gym and she runs, walks and skips; which Suzy Sheep calls her out because it's really play. Everyone giggles on cue.

So, they arrive at the school house on the hill as the bell is already ringing. Out comes Suzy and Peppa, running into the school house. We sit down for the meet and greet with all the kids from Series 2; except for Richard Rabbit of course. Madame Gazelle claps her hands, Suzy and Peppa sit down. Gazelle tells us that we will be cosplaying running a store. My reaction was the same as the kids; only a lot more sarcastic. Everyone wants to be shopkeepers; but since Peppa and Suzy are best friends, they get to be shopkeepers while everyone else is a customer. Suzy and Peppa head to a table containing a child's cash register and a book shelf containing various objects. Suzy has to handle the produce while Peppa handles the customers and the counter. I don't who to envy more in this situation. Danny Dog wants some biscuits; but there is none, so they ask if he wants a toy phone and Danny Dog is perfectly fine with this. The phone is 100 pounds which is $180 Canadian; which is double the cost of phones today. Danny don't care as he pays no money and still takes the phone. Ummm; isn't that shoplifting? Pedro is next and wants a loaf of bread; but gets a toy house instead. Suzy is not good at customer relationships; but Pedro don't care. It's for one pound; but Pedro actually remembers to not have any money. Peppa don't care and he can pay next time he comes in. That's not how it works, Peppa. Suzy and Peppa think this is hard work. Riiigggghhhtttt. Next is Rebecca Rabbit and she wants to buy something for a million thousand pounds. So, a billion pounds. Why not?! It's not like anyone is giving them any money or anything. So, they sell the carrot and Rebecca blushes as she is owed 947 pounds. Somehow; this is funny for all the wrong reasons. So, the bell rings for hometime as the cars of Mummy Pony, Mummy Rabbit, Mummy Dog and Daddy Pig show up. I guess Mummy Sheep is still at the gym working out. Suzy and Peppa jump into Daddy Pig's car like everyone jumping in different cars and driving away. We exchange notes on the day at work as we return to the house on the hill and into Mummy Pig's office as Mummy Pig finally finishes her work on the computer. And yes, Mummy Pig says "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, the end." That was funny. The printer gives us the paper written as George pushes a button because it's time to play hard. As in Happy Mrs. Chicken play hard. In comes Peppa and Suzy after the car parks on the steepest side of the hill...AGAIN! Peppa then accuses Mummy Pig of not working like the troll that she is and thankfully Mummy Pig corrects her as it's time to play hard and do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was a dumb, but cute episode; like most of the episodes in this series. ** 3/4 (55%).

The Library: Next up is episode #109 on the animation paper as we head to the house on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Mummy and Daddy Pig have already tucked Peppa and George in their bunk beds for the night; and are saying goodnight. Peppa wants a story; but not the Red Monkey because she knows it by heart. Mummy Pig is a bit embarrased by this, so Peppa jumps down and checks the book shelf of book containing colored animal anthros. Then she finds a grey book and gives it to Mummy Pig. It has a cement mixer as a picture as we discover that it's called: "The Wonderful World Of Concrete"; so it's clearly Daddy Pig's book. This I believe begins the gimmick in earnest of Daddy Pig having a fetish for references to concrete; and this fetish is one that Daddy Pig is going to regret when Simple Science in Series 5 runs it's course. Daddy Pig claims that he borrowed it from the library as Peppa wants to know what a library is and Daddy and Mummy Pig explain what a library is and Daddy Pig's book is long overdue. How long overdue? We'll soon find out. Peppa wants him to read about this concrete book and gets back in bed. Daddy Pig starts reading and barely one chapter in after an introduction into what concrete is, everyone falls asleep. Concrete books: ultimate cure for insomnia. Even Mummy Pig has fallen asleep on the out of nowhere chair, so she was trying to escape this story. Daddy Pig is confused as we head to the library in the morning as Daddy's car parks on the steepest side of the hill again. Everyone goes into the library as Peppa is being as noisy as humanly possible as Daddy Pig tells her quiet because they are trying to read and be quiet. Cut to the counter with...guess who...Miss Rabbit being even louder than Peppa! Well; she must run the library, so DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS~!) doesn't apply, I guess. Then again; this is Miss Rabbit we are talking about here. Mummy Pig has six file folderish books to give to Miss Rabbit and scans them like in the checkout store and everything's fine. The scanner is used to make sure no one lies about the due date of books. Daddy Pig at least admits that this book is overdue and claims that it's merely a bit overdue. Miss Rabbit herself thinks Daddy Pig cannot be THIS naughty, but the computer scans and it beeps, red lights flicker on screen with a really cheeky sad face as Miss Rabbit is in shock because Daddy Pig had that book overdue for ten years! Naughty Daddy Pig!

Daddy Pig blushes and apologizes for it and Miss Rabbit just forgives him and allows him to borrow another book. There is no fine, no suspension, no paying for a new book, no banishment from the library, nothing. They must live in Trafford. Peppa and George ask about borrowing books and Miss Rabbits shows them the children's section; which is because the adult section with a more child friendly appearance. Fun fact: The fairy book Peppa digs out actually has Princess Holly from Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom on the front cover. So Peppa searches through the book shelves as in comes Danny Dog with a book about football. Soccer, not NA Football. Polly Parrot also makes a cameo as Suzy comes in with a white cross book because she wants to learn nursing. George of course wants to read about dinosaurs as he uses it to growl at the kids. Daddy Pig comes in with a book with a bucket and more concrete. And people accuse GEORGE of having a one track mind? Mummy Pig finds a Red Monkey book and Peppa blows it off calling it boring because it's the same old story. But wait; this Red Monkey book has a blue cover on it, which means, it's not the same story because Peppa doesn't know that the Red Monkey can have a series of stories, just like her own damn show! Wait; why is Mr. Dinesaur in this book? Could it be possible that Mummy Pig's work has been to write bedtime stories about the Red Monkey? Inquiring minds would love to know. Also, this monkey climbs mountains as the story ends and Peppa Pig is amused. Even better; the adults that enter are Daddy Pony, Mr. Rabbit, Granddad Dog and Mummy Cat; only Granddad Dog has Danny Dog as his guardian! Where's Mummy Sheep? Even George is not buying this crap. So, Peppa wants to borrow two books along with Red Monkey Book #2; Miss Rabbit tells them they could as long as they return it on time, especially if you are Daddy Pig. Peppa Pig will make sure of them as everyone except Miss Rabbit does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Now I'm interested in Mummy Pig's work. Another fine episode. ** 3/4 (55%).

The Camper Van: This is the first of a two parter (episodes #110-#111 on the animation paper) as the episode opens on the house on the hill as Peppa, George and Mummy Pig walk out the back door. Mummy Pig is carrying luggage; so I suggest that a holiday is fast approaching. Peppa is giddy about this; but doesn't see Daddy Pig and is not thrilled. Mummy Pig claims that Daddy Pig has a secret surprise for them; and in comes Daddy Pig honking the horn as it's a banana yellow bus like camper van. This is not a British localization of recreational vehicle nor motorhome. The term motorhome is sometimes used interchangeably with campervan, but the former can also be a larger vehicle than a campervan and intended to be more comfortable, whilst the latter is more concerned with ease of movement and lower cost. For example, some campervans lack built-in toilets and showers, or a divide between the living compartment and the cab.The United States term "recreational vehicle" (RV) is more analogous to motorhome than campervan. In fact; Daddy Pig's campervan is more related to the Volkswagon Westfalia Camper. Speaking of British localization; it is borrowed, not rented. Everyone gets into the camper van as this camper van is like the TARDIS of camper vans. It's back contains a fridge, sink and a four button control panel with the red button working the sink. There is also a built in television in the cupboards, controlled by the yellow button. Peppa and George are in awe of this. Isn't the whole point of a camper van was to get away from television, not to be reminded of it? Mummy Pig asks about the green button and Daddy Pig doesn't know and decides to err on the side of caution until they know. So the blue button is blue about being ignored, as usual. Somehow we get a jarring jump cut of the camper van bring at the side of the house instead of the back as Mummy Pig asks if everyone is ready as she is driving and Daddy Pig does the map reading, and anyone who has watched two episodes of Mummy Pig driving should know where this is going. Daddy Pig actually answering the question is funny though as Mummy Pig drives down the hill and onto the boring road. Peppa Pig sings the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM to waste time. Which is five seconds as Daddy, of course screws up the map reading by reading it upside down as Peppa is worried about this, and Daddy tells her not to worry. Mummy asks if they are lost and Daddy admits yes. HA! So in comes Granddad Dog driving in his breakdown truck with Danny Dog for the meet and greet. Granddad Dog asks Daddy Pig if his "Sat Nav" is broken and Daddy Pig is confused, because it's clear he is not an expert on Sat Navs. It's basically the British version of Gobal Positioning System or GPS. The camper van is a model T-3200 (thus standard) and it's the green button that controls the Sat Nav; which has a really Gameboy-equse monitor screen. Peppa is amazed by this and even communcates it like it is a human being; which amuses me. She calls it Mrs. Camper Van; which would be a hell of a name in the real world.

Sat Nav is voiced by Sarah Roper by the way; this version of SN anyway. So SN reveals the path, which is one straight line east. Mummy Pig drives away as everyone sings the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM to waste some more time. Then SN glows all red and the gas can symbol comes out to reveal that the CV is running low on fuel. Peppa asks about oil and Daddy Pig says it's the thing that makes engines run. Better question: why didn't Daddy Pig refuel the thing before he showed off the surprise? Daddy Pig is dumb. Even dumber, he thinks this warning is not a concern and they have enough fuel to get to the camp site. Of course, the CVSN officially declares that the camper van is out of gas and the camper van stops on a dime. Daddy Pig is dumber than he was two minutes ago. Sat Nav's response to no oil was to cross out the oil can. HAHA! But wait; Daddy Pig did remember to grab a spare can of oil and hops out of the CV. He opens the front and then starts to panic because there is no engine in the front of the camper van. There is a lot of echoing effects in this; I don't know why. 2:1 odds that the engine is in the back; because if there is truly no engine, how is this CV even running? In comes Mummy Sheep and Suzy Sheep for more meeting and greeting as Peppa explains the situation. Mummy Sheep is as confused as everyone else. Mummy Sheep then walks to the back claiming that she has no expertise on engines, except she opens the back and does at least know that there such things as the engine being in the back. Daddy Pig is dumb. I'm shocked he didn't blush right there as he pours oil into the engine top and that is that. Daddy Pig gets into the CV and wakes farewell to Mummy Sheep and then we head to the campsite AFTER HAPPY HOUR as the CV goes up the hill and reaches it's destination, according to Sat Nav. So the curtains surround the windows of the CV as the kids change into their pjs and hold their toys as Peppa is confused about where they are sleeping tonight. Apparently; there are two buttons on the counter that came completely out of nowhere. So Daddy Pig and Mummy Pig sleep on the purple sofabed; while the little ones sleep upstair on the top camper roof and once again; everything looks like a TARDIS as the upstairs looks like a small tent. Oh; and this camper van has bunk beds like at home. The parents are in their pj's now as the place is dark; Daddy Pig says good night as we cut to an outside shot of the CV to end part one at 4:30 approx. This was all right, but the second half of this two parter is the better one anyway. *** (60%).

Camping Holiday: Next up is the bottom half of the two parter as we head back to the campsite for a night to morning cartoon shot of doom. A cock crows followed by Daddy Pig snorting as he says good morning to the children. Everyone snorts as the curtains rise and the family gets out of the CV. Mummy Pig suggests they spend the day looking at nature. Daddy Pig loves this and brings out the television (with no wires mind you) and turns it on. Somehow, this television has cable as we watch a nature program on birds. HAHA! Then, the brown bird that annoyed Grandpa Pig in a previous episode shows up to perch on the television and crows at the family. Daddy Pig shoos the bird away; earning a well deserved blow off of Mummy Pig because watching television about nature in the middle of nature is completely and utterly pointless. Daddy Pig finally blushes and stammers like a stupid idiot. Mummy Pig brings out the brochures of places like Tree World which is a big forest, full of trees. Peppa calls this a bit boring; which a lot of moral guardians have been saying about this show. Then there is Potato City; but that is overruled since they will go to Potato City in Series 4; so that leaves Duck Land and since Peppa loves ducks in a river, she gets giddy about this. So we head into the CV as Mummy Pig pushes the green button to turn on Sat Nav; and Peppa asks for Duck Land, please. Sat Nav gives them the directions to go west as the CV is turned into the opposite direction via teleport, as usual with this show. Daddy Pig is driving now as we head west on the boring road, so another TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM ensues. We head to the booth where the Duck Land ticket booth and gift shop is. Guess who runs this booth? If you guessed Miss Rabbit; you win the no-prize. Daddy Pig has the picnic with them of course as it's two adults and two children. I just love how there is a guard barrier at the booth in an area where there is NO FENCE to surround the area. So; the family gets their tickets (bracelets would make more sense here) and walk in through the barrier and make it to the river. Where are the ducks? And those were the exact same words Peppa was saying. Mummy thinks they are on holiday; so Daddy Pig sets up the picnic and they have the picnic because the ducks always show up for picnics, for no reason. And damn them to hell if they aren't right. A lot of ducks means a lot of feeding just to annoy me. Peppa loves duck land, HUZZAH~!

So; the family returns to the CV and gets in. Mummy Pig turns on Sat Nav and wonders what the shortest route is to get home. The Sat Nav proclaims that the shortest way to get home is to drive straight into the river. Mummy is confused; but Sat Nav is serious about them driving into the river as Peppa thinks this is stupid. In real life; this is really stupid. Daddy Pig claims that Sat Nav is talking nonsense as Sat Nav tells them to push the blue button, the one button that has never been pressed until right now. Because you see, the camper van is also a small family sized ferry. This is the greatest camper van of all time and if there isn't one in real life; this world is even more awful than I thought it would be. Oh; and the control panel is mirrored now for no reason. So the CV drives into the river and the wheels go into the CV as a result. However; the CV rides on the river as it has a pirate mast as a flag. 2:1 odds that this is Grandpa Pig's Camper Van. Which would explain why it was borrowed and not rented without resorting to British to American slang translations. Welcome to the car of the future and I feel sad that this future has not come...yet. Oh; hello Granddad Dog and Danny Dog on their tugboat. Tugboat toots, Daddy sounds awkard as he drives the camper van due west. Daddy Pig drives up the next hill and we have a whiplashing jump cut of the camper van finally parking at the house on the hall AFTER HAPPY HOUR. Peppa thanks Mrs. Camper Van for her services as the family gets out and walks into the home. Jump cut to Peppa's bedroom as Peppa and George are in their bunk beds, with pjs on and holding their toys, just like in the last episode. Peppa is tucked in as Peppa thinks being home is nicer than being on holiday. Cut back outside as Daddy Pig says good night to his little piggies and that ends the episode at 4:30 approx. Just another Peppa Pig love in with a really great finish with the camper van turning into a boat. *** 1/2 (70%).

Compost: Here is episode #112 on the animation paper as we open on the house on the hill and zoom into the kitchen. Harley Bird's pronouncation of the word compost is EPIC BABEE! I mean it, too. So we see Daddy Pig at the kitchen table peeling potatoes for their vegatable soup. The peeling are laid on the table next to Peppa, Mummy and George. Peppa asks if she can help and Daddy Pig asks her to clean away the peelings from the table. Peppa giggles as she grabs the peelings and teases putting them in the trash can; but Mummy Pig orders her to stop. You see, organic peelings do not go into the trash can, they get their own seperate recyling bin; called the compost bin. It's brown and has a tree logo on it. I should also note that Mummy Pig calls the trash bin the normal bin. Why? I have no idea. Oh; and banana peels are called banana skin. I mention this because George and Mummy Pig bring it up when they show the compost bin. This bin is heading to Grandpa Pig for him to use; which prompts Peppa Pig to ask if they eat the peelings. HAHA! Of course they don't; but it's still funny. Grandpa Pig uses it to mend his garden and help the plants grow. Peppa and George are in awe as Mummy Pig decides to go to Grandpa Pig's house after lunch with the kids. Jump cut to outside on the boring road westward with Mummy Pig driving with George and Peppa in the back seat. Once again; they park on the steepest side of the hill next to the white house on the hill. Peppa and George run down the hill towards Grandpa Pig with the compost bin as George is still calling him Papa Ig at this point. Grandpa Pig is digging up stuff in the garden as Peppa asks about the plants eating the peeling and Grandpa Pig corrects her stating that they are for the compost heap; which is a wooden box with a sliding door to open when the peelings turn into soil. Peppa thinks it's a magic box; but the secret is all those wiggly purple worms inside said box. It's a lot more than just that; but it's a pre-school show and you don't want to overload a child's brain too much early on that they'll turn on the show for being too boring. Peppa wants morew wiggly worms as they dig in a bare dirt portion of the garden like a bunch of dogs. I think they broke the record for the most wiggling of the legs within ten seconds; which is far more than those purple wiggly worms. The kids grab the worm and skip to their lous as Peppa sings a really off-key which sounds like she's taunting the worm.

So, Mummy Pig and Grandpa Pig help Peppa and George put the wiggly worms into the compost heap, all while I need a drink and a walk. Peppa's pronouncation of compost is awesome still, by the way. Grandpa Pig tries to explain some more; but Peppa cuts him off and explains it to us. What a troll?! At least she was sort of accurate in her promo; so I can forgive her trolling for that. So next up we head to the orchard as Peppa suddenly doesn't know what an orchard is, which means that the series has been rebooted to a certain extent. Not that it matters, since the later Series are the best quality of episodes anyway, but it slightly annoys me. Grandma Pig has her basket on the ground as George is still calling him Ganny Ig. When is George going to get over that speech impediment? Although; if he does get over it, I will miss all the times he pronounces presto as pesto. Peppa and George want to help; and they cannot jump high enough to grab the apples. Kylie isn't available until Series 4 anyway as Grandpa and Grandma Pig have that one secret trick: Shake the damn tree with five people. Okay. They shake the tree, the apples come down and one bonks off Grandpa Pig's head. So his name is Issac Newton Pig? AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BONK! OUCH! Ummmm...Where did this apple come from? Peppa asks if she can have an apple and Grandma Pig gives Peppa and George an apple each. The kids eat the apples as Grandpa Pig asks what they do with the apple cores. Peppa is confused; but George is not. Wiggle, wiggle, into the compost heap, wiggle! Everyone looks into the compost heap with the worms attacking the apple core and then everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was a great episode complete with the funniest Peppa singing ever! **** (80%).

Richard Rabbit Comes To Play: Moving right along, here is episode #113 on the animation paper as we head to the house on the hill and it is raining hard. We zoom into the bedroom as Peppa and George are making a block house and giggling about it. Then the doorbell rings and Daddy Pig off-screen informs George that Richard Rabbit is here to play. George takes Mr. Dinesaur and runs out to meet Richard as both parents of each family has an umbrella, so they get to watch Richard and George cosplay their dinosaur toys for a while. Richard calls George, Georgie by the way. Mr. Rabbit is the one who brought Richard over here and the kids run inside, not caring what Mr. Rabbit has to say. Oh well, Miss Rabbit is a more compelling story anyway. So the little ones head to Peppa's bedroom and they grab the bouncy ball and play bounce catch. This also makes the place shake of course. Peppa's house falls down and she protests this outrage. George don't care as he is giggling and he over turns the basket as the trees tumble upright on the ground as the narrator claims that it's now a volcano...that has buried Teddy. Wow; George really has had enough of Peppa's trolling antics if he's stooping to this low. Richard finds more plastic trees to make a forest (which the narrator is trying to sell us as a jungle. Epic fail!), and George uses alphabet blocks to build a river. More bouncing, and dinosaur cosplaying makes Peppa Pig go something something. Go call Suzy Sheep for help?! Don't mind if Peppa does! Peppa leaves in protest as we see Daddy and Mummy Pig watch Mr. and Mrs. Potato sing a song about the pronouncation of potato, which is like singing a song about the pronouncation of tomato. Who cares about that? I'm more interested in Peppa's troll plan to get back at George and Richard actually. Daddy Pig basically says that rainy days equal important television viewing. Of course! Peppa comes in all frowny and whiny; and the parent have that smile that reads "What do you want us to do about it?". Mummy Pig does allow Peppa to call Suzy Sheep to come over as Daddy Pig phones the Sheep residence and Peppa and Suzy both answer the phone on both ends. After a deal is struck involving the nurse's costume; Peppa wants her to come over, quickly. Cut to outside and apparently Mummy Sheep has TWO cars as she is using a roofed cheese colored car. I guess she divorced the cheese reporter. See what you have done, Chargeman Ken?!

Suzy gets out with Mummy Sheep as the door bell is rung. Peppa answers the door and gets all giddy as the kids run into the house before Mummy Sheep can finish what she was going to say. I am not surprised by this revelation. They run upstairs and this causes earthquakes. They head into the bedroom and Peppa takes over as Suzy and Peppa clean up the room of everything as George and Richard have looks in the camera that read "Can you believe this?". Now the place is a hospital; which apparently takes care of sick toys. I think Teddy should be given a look right now, it's the most diseased toy in the room right now. They put the dinosaur toys in bed and the little ones are not liking this and Suzy tells them to shut up because it's a hospital you see. Trust me; this trolling is going to get even crueler now. So George overturns the basket and finds a choo-choo train. This logically leads to the hospital being changed into a train station. Richard blew the whistle on this trollish behavior as Peppa throws everything anyway and brings out the fairy motifs as trains aren't allowed in fairy land; and neither are dinosaur as only pretty things are allowed. You bigoted trolls!! Richard and George bawl their eyes out on cue and I don't blame them. This is the most rigid genderized fairyland I have ever seen. In comes Daddy Pig and Mummy Pig demanding answers to this outrage. Daddy Pig notices the sun is now out after Suzy and Peppa whine about George and Richard's games; because they like little boy games and Suzy and Peppa like big girl games. Sigh; you were doing so well until you brought GENDER into this conversation. Luckly; Daddy Pig has a way to get them out of this. Take one guess what it is. Yip; it's jumping up and down in muddy puddles. DING! That's exactly what they do, in their costumes no less! That's an awesome visual to end the episode at 4:30 approx. If they had kept the gender thing out of this; this would have been great. Otherwise, it's *** 1/4 (65%).

Fun Run: So, this is episode #114 on the animation paper as we head to the school house on the hill as there are cars parked outside and it's raining. This also begins the gimmick of the school house having a leaky roof as the roof is messed up. Head inside with all the children (minus George and Richard) and all the adults (minus Mummy Rabbit, Mummy Cat, Mummy Dog, Daddy Rabbit, and Daddy Pony) as they watch the rain go into the bucket. Madame Gazelle asks how they can fix up the school roof and Daddy Pig suggests that they have a fun run. Suzy asks what is a funny run; which by the end of this episode, was accurate. A funny run is a picnic with them paying money to see the sponser run. Gazelle thinks that is such a wonderful idea that she is making sure Daddy Pig owns this idea. As in: How far can you run? Sounds to me that Daddy's Big Tummy is more into shape than his humming bird rear end's ability to cash checks his overloaded motor mouth. Daddy blushes and claims that he'll run as far as Gazelle wants. Yip; he's screwed. The parents all back away because they will give money to see Daddy Pig run. Yip; he's really screwed. Peppa claims Daddy cannot run at all. Yip, Peppa is still a troll. Madame Gazelle thanks Daddy Pig and Daddy Pig does a 0.3 Rock Lobster Yeti frowny face. This is not going to end well for him. Cut to afternoon at the house on the hill as we cut to the kitchen table with Daddy Pig eating his third helping of spaghetti and he wants a fourth helping, because he needs energy to run. Mummy Pig points out that he needs to practice running (In Britian; it's practise. Like defense is defence for instance.) as Daddy Pig wants to practice eating today, and running tomorrow. Peppa blows it off because it's time to play tag and Daddy Pig is it. So Peppa and George run out of the house with Daddy Pig in tow as they run downhill and Daddy Pig has no trouble. If your feet suck; it's worse downhill than uphill actually, but that's my feet of course. Daddy Pig runs uphill as he struggles and blushes, because he's not all that fit. Daddy Pig claims that the spaghetti did him in as his tummy rumbles and splashes water. Jump cut to the day of the funny run complete with starting line and Miss Rabbit's bus on the western side of the hill. At least it's not on the steepest side of the hill this time. The bell rings as we head inside with everyone as Daddy Pig is doing stretches and Gazelle shows off the big map of the entire course. Apparently; it's a 5 KM fun run. This leads to a really funny moment: Daddy Pig runs the map course and then declares the fun run to be over and the roof is fixed. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sadly; Daddy Pig is wrong...and dumb.

So, basically; Daddy Pig has to get to Windy Castle and run past the supermarket, Granddad Dog's garage to get there by the way. Thankfully; they only do this one; I hate for Dora The Explorer to file a lawsuit on this show for gimmick infringement. So, Madame Gazelle pushes him out the door to the starting line as Gazelle has the red flag and it's ready, steady, GO~! Pretty much every adult they could find made the trip; including Grandpa Pig! Everyone else is in the bus with Miss Rabbit driving and cheering Daddy Pig on; who is running and panting, and hasn't reached the supermarket yet. This leads to the steep hill climb of the bus as it's slow going and the bus looks like it is going to croak at anytime; but it barely makes it to Windy Castle. Everyone gets out and has their picnic and in a surprise, the ducks don't show up! AWESOME! Cut back to Daddy Pig turning into a steamed ham as he wants a bottle of water. And just to be trolls, we cut to everyone else at Windy Castle drinking bottles of waters. That had to be Peppa's idea, there's no way anyone would figure this one out on their own. Daddy Pig makes it to the supermarket as we see Doctor Brown Bear in the background shopping. Daddy Pig returns with a bottle of water as I hear strange noises from the automatic door openers. Daddy Pig drinks the bottle of water and runs stage right. Cut back to the tower of Windy Castle as Peppa is looking at the yellow telescope with Grandpa Pig helping her. Daddy Pig's running has been reduce to fast walking as Daddy Pig is blushing and probably suffering heat cramps. He cannot go on as he does make it to Granddad Dog's garage and Granddad Dog actually is at the garage. Everyone at Windy Castle sighs; because their meal ticket may have realized that his toxic motor mouth has cost them a new roof. Granddad Dog opens his freezer and gives him the energy and cooldowness of an ice lolly. Daddy Pig grabs the lolly, opens it and licks it as he has stopped blushing. Daddy Pig thanks Granddad Dog and then, making it's return for sweet revenge on Daddy Pig: the evil wasp. Daddy Pig panics and starts running up the hill like crazy as everyone pops for Daddy Pig. Daddy Pig runs around Windy Castle at least eight times as Madame Gazelle tells him to stop running. Then get that wasp away from him then; you are sounding like Peppa now. After the eighth time around the tower; the wasp gives up and runs stage left. Somehow the ice lolly has stayed intact during it. Oh; and the extra running helped Miss Rabbit get a new bus as well. Everyone thanks Daddy Pig as Daddy Pig is most welcome causing everyone to do the backsplash laugh, except for Daddy Pig himself to end the episode at 4:30 approx. One of the funniest early Series 3 episodes, because Daddy Pig was forced to own his idea. **** 1/4 (85%).

Washing: Last up for today is episode #115 on the animation paper as we head on the house on the hill as the back door opens to reveal the family walking to a clothesline. Daddy Pig has a basket of white laundry and he pins a white shirt with the number five on it, still wet as hell. Peppa asks what it is and it's Daddy Pig's soccer shirt. He's playing soccer this afternoon; after work as he takes his briefcase and head into the out of nowhere red car. He drives away down the hill as Peppa feels sad...for ten seconds as she and the family bail stage left. Jump cut Peppa jumping up and down in muddy puddles wearing her yellow boots. George and Mummy Pig join in and Mummy Pig is causing so much mud splatter (and earthquakes) that she splashes mud all over Daddy Pig's soccer shirt. Uh-oh! Peppa is the only one with mud on her dress by the way as the narrator acts like this might result in Daddy Pig killing someone. Mummy Pig tells them not to worry because they will just wash it again as they bring the basket in, and yes; the washing machine doubles as a dishwasher. Don't ask me why. The cleaning agent is known as ZAP Bubbles~! Peppa notices that her dress is muddy, so she puts it into the basket after Mummy and George bail to find more clothes. Peppa is in fact wearing a mid-riff shirt and underwear; which makes her less risque than Molly Cunningham was, and that's a good thing. In comes Mummy Pig and George with white socks and white stuff to put in the dishwasher that doubles into a washing machine. I should note that the washing machines in Britian are different from North America: In North America, they load from the top. In Britian, they are similar to a laundermat washing machine, or even a dryer here in North America. So we turn on the washing machine that doubles as a dishwasher and this spot was designed to justify them gleefully bouncing, giggling and causing earthquakes. I realize that washing machines shake around; but they don't typically cause the ground to shake. Mummy Pig then notices Peppa without her dress and Peppa gleefully points out that it's being washed. Uh-oh! Mummy Pig does not like this at all as the washing machine stops and out comes Peppa's dress, as it's brand spanking new. However; the socks, white cloths and Daddy Pig's soccer shirt is now pink; because this is what happens when you combine colors with whites. Now; this wouldn't be a problem if you wear white underwear since no one actually sees it...

...but it causes problems when people see the other clothes. It also makes people wonder if your relationship with your beloved is on the rocks. Mummy Pig declares that pink is not a good color for a football shirt. Memo to Mummy Pig: Arsenal (a legit football team in the UK) called and says you are full of crap! Juventus had their away goalkeeper shirts in pink as well. Ditto Libson and Celtic. So buzz off, Mummy Pig! So, in comes Daddy Pig with his briefcase as we meet and greet in the kitchen. Peppa and Mummy Pig show off the pink shirt as Daddy Pig giggles it off because it's pink and not white. If Daddy Pig is the goalkeeper; they why not pink? At least four legit football clubs in Europe use that scheme. I don't recall dresses being shirts and having the number five from Mummy Pig's clothing rack? So, yeah; it's your shirt. Peppa explains that it got muddy (doesn't blame Mummy Pig for it), and they tried to wash it (doesn't explain that she put her muddy dress into the machine) and it went a bit wrong (understatement of the episode) and they apologize. Daddy Pig proclaims that he cannot wear this shirt and Peppa Pig asks why not since pink is a lovely color. Heck; it's the away goalkeeper's color for four real life soccer teams in Europe! At least! Daddy Pig asks for George's blessing -- as if he knows any soccer -- and hates it! Grow up, George! Pink is not a yucky color, get over it! So, the door bell rings and we see Mr. Bull, Mr. Rabbit, Daddy Pony and Mr. Zebra in their white soccer clothes as Mr. Bull has the soccer ball. Mr. Zebra is #1 and Mr. Bull is #4. I guess this is rank in who has the smallest belly of the group. Mummy Pig answers the door and tells them to wait as Daddy is coming out soon. Daddy Pig needs a white shirt; so Peppa suggests using his white office shirt and take off the green suit shirt. Of course! Daddy Pig takes off his green suit shirt; but not his green tie like an idiot. Oh; and he didn't mark a 5 on his shirt and just walks out and all the male adults act like there is nothing out of the ordinary, even though he's wearing a green tie. They don't care as they call him smart and all the male adult run down the hill as there is a soccer field set up complete with muddy puddles. The blue team has Mr. Labadour, Mr. Rhino, Doctor Elephant and Daddy Cat (implying that Daddy and Mummy Cat are an interracial relationship) as Daddy Pig scores a goal and everyone is muddy. Peppa Pig cuts them off because they are all muddy as Daddy Pig says it all as the narrator proclaims that everyone loves soccer, especially when it's play in muddy puddles. Everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Rigid gender role colors asides, this was pretty fun, although the finish should be that Daddy Pig wears the pink shirt and is the goalkeeper who makes awesome saves and kicks a goal into the other net for the win. ** 1/2 (50%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; we begin Series Three with mostly average to great episodes and no clunkers for once. Sadly; Washing and Richard Rabbit Comes To Play really didn't need to overplay the gender role card that much. Fun Run was great because Daddy Pig had to own up to his own ideas and it's always funny when the wasp is after him. Also; a picnic with no ducks in it also helps. Compost was also great because of Peppa's really so bad it's funny singing and her pronouncation of Compost is glorious. The finish to Camping Holiday was also a hoot and the rest was fun enough. I have nothing more to say, so...

Thumbs up for Compost, Fun Run; and thumbs in the middle for everything else and I'll see you all next time.

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