Peppa Pig: Series Three #2

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Peppa Pig: Series Three #2 Rant

Reviewed: 04/09/2018

Daddy Pig Meets Peppa & The Ultimate Troll Move!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Okay; so we head back to Series three as we start the next eight episodes of the Harley Bird era as the gloves are finally off of this show as it turns from just a normal pre-school show into a legendary pre-school show. So; how do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Polly's Boat Trip: So, we begin with episode #116 on the animation paper and the episode opens on the river with Grandma Pig coming out of the yellow car; while Grandpa Pig is putting a lifejacket on Peppa on the sailing ship. George already has one as well as the pirate's hat on. Peppa and George are jumping up and down for no reason; and in a shock, Polly doesn't repeat them. He only jumps once as Grandma Pig is issuing orders on the mobile phone and Grandpa Pig sounds awfully condescending to her before pulling the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and driving the ship away eastward. Jump cut to Granddad Dog literally mopping the deck with the SHANE DOUGLAS MOP OF DOOM for fun as Grandpa Pig's boat arrives for the meet and greet. Of course; Grandpa Pig just has to insult the boat for being so rusty and Granddad Dog claims that his boat will survive long before Grandpa's tin boat sinks to the bottom. They snort and woof at each other for a while as I wonder why are they best friends, again? Captain Grandpa Pig pulls the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and we sail away stage right as of course, since Grandpa is the captain of the ship, everyone must obey his command. And Polly is the reminder of said commands as George raises the pirate mast sails; Peppa rings the bell and Polly does nothing but repeat. Peppa gets on top and asks if she can be the captain and Grandma puts his hat on Peppa and makes her into the captain. What could probably go wrong? So we ring the bell, turn the wheel and jump up and down for a while; before Grandpa Pig gets his hat back, because Peppa is bossy. At least Peppa manages to not screw this up; which is an improvement over her normal troll behaviour, I guess. So; they go through the long weeds; but the boat is then marooned onto a small sandy island. Grandpa Pig is dumb and steering is not that tricky. Grandpa Pig pushes the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!); but no go. No problem; Grandpa Pig rings in Grandma Pig from the mobile phone; but Polly screams in Grandpa Pig's ear and he drops the mobile phone into the water. At least we can blame Polly Parrot for this one.

However; since the mobile phone is tougher than a Nintendo product, it still works as we head back to the white house on the hill. Jump cut to the sitting room as the green phone is ringing. Grandma Pig comes in and answers the phone. No response; but somehow despite being in twenty feet of water, the marooned boat of Grandpa Pig can still hear it. So, Peppa has a Krackpotkin Plan: Have Polly fly to Grandma Pig and yell for help on their behalf. This has to be a fool's errand. Grandpa Pig cannot stop talking to save his life and Polly is gleefully happy to repeat literally everything he said, including the intended message. Polly flies westward and makes it to the white house on the hill in a whiplashing jump cut. Apparently; the sitting room is on the second floor as Polly flies through the window as Grandma Pig is reading Ezza Magazine. Polly perches on the telephone and he manages to remember that Grandpa Pig said "You silly old bird" and Grandma Pig is gravely offended by this; before realizing that Grandpa Pig was yelling for help. Of course! So we jump cut to Granddad Dog mopping the deck again as Grandma Pig drives in with her car to inform him that Grandpa Pig needs help; because Grandpa Pig is dumb. So, despite the insults; he agrees to and lets Grandma Pig on board to boot because he's clearly doing it for her and not because Grandpa Pig legit acts like a best friend. Of course! So we head to the marooned boat as here comes Granddad Dog's boat. Granddad Dog asks if he needs rescuing and Grandpa Pig says maybe. Granddad Dog asks if his rusty old boat can save the tin boat and Grandpa Pig full relents and all is forgiven as a white rope is tied to both ends of each boat. Granddad Dog pulls the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and the two boats sail away stage left without incident. Polly saves the day as Granddad Dog wants him to say "I'm a clever parrot". Sadly; Polly repeats it with two barks. The punchline to the joke is supposed to be "I'm a NOISY parrot! BARK! BARK!" Then everyone laughs to end the episode at 4:30 approx. A fun episode with a dumb ending that completely erases Polly debut in Series 1. *** (60%).

Delphine Donkey: Next up is episode #117 on the animation paper and the episode opens on the house on the hill as Frere Jacques is playing in the background. We head in the lobby where the phone is as Delphine Donkey's picture is pined on the BBS in the background. The phone on the desk is ringing. Daddy Pig answers the phone and it's Mr. Donkey speaking in French as usual. "Hello Daddy Pig, how are you?" is what he said when translated from French to English. Sadly; I'm not good in translating the rest and Daddy Pig thinks the phone is speaking nonsense. Sadly; there is no subtitled version of this episode; so I'm stumped. Mummy Pig takes over and says "yes" and "goodbye" in French to end the conversation before everyone looks stupid, especially me. Mummy Pig explains that Delphine Donkey is coming to visit them because she needs help with her English since she is expected to be a full time member of the Peppa Pig roaster. Mummy Pig declares that they must hurry to get to the train station as we jump cut to a tunnel as the train is coming out and heading westward. No surprise, Miss Rabbit is the conductor of this mission. Okay; it's ALL CHANGE~! My mistake. So, out comes Delphine with Mummy Daddy Donkey at the train station as the Pig family is already there to meet and greet them. Delphine has the second biggest tickle trunk I have ever seen. They hug; but when they kiss, they miss their cheeks. Peppa and Daddy Pig cannot pronounce Bonjour to save their lives as Papa Donkey drops the tickle trunk onto the concrete as he tosses it on top of the red car; and the red car almost dies on cue. Worse; all those little things in the tickle trunk is exactly what the Pig Family has at home. So Papa Donkey is as dumb as Daddy Pig; only he doesn't realize it. So we drive home as Papa Donkey is returning tomorrow night to pick up Delphine. I guess Mummy Pig is the teacher. Everyone gets out and Daddy Pig has to carry the luggage, because he's dumb. Worse, he has to carry it up the stairs to Peppa's room, the highest floor of the house. Peppa Pig is a troll. The kids go upstairs as Daddy Pig walks upstairs and puts the trunk down in the bedroom.

Delphine shows that she can troll with the best of them because she only packed a little tickle trunk. Even more amazing; she speaks English pretty well for someone whose English is a second language. Even I can have problems speaking English; and it's my FIRST language. So, she's modest and even Daddy Pig notices this. Delphine wants to ask a question. I will not repeat it here; because I cannot do it justice, it was awesome and she made Daddy Pig look like the dumbest person in the room and I cackled and laughed at it. Oh; and it is now AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark), so Mummy Pig decides to end the session before Daddy Pig blushes to his death. So it's night time and both Peppa and Delphine are sleeping in the same bed end to end. That bed must been very wide to support those two. Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig put out the lights as Mummy Pig says "sleep well" in French; thank goodness the narrator reminded me of that. I should also note that Delphine Donkey is going to playgroup tomorrow as well; so they were priming her for a regular run in the show at this point. They are not sleepy of course; so Delphine hee haws and it's time to sing Frere Jacques. Now for a translation lesson:

Original version: Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques,
Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous?
Sonnez les matines! Sonnez les matines!
Ding, dang, dong. Ding, dang, dong.

English localization: Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping?
Brother John, Brother John,
Morning bells are ringing! Morning bells are ringing!
Ding, dang, dong. Ding, dang, dong.

This translation preserves the musicality but greatly distorts the meaning: the whole point is that the bells are not ringing, because brother John, who is supposed to ring them, is sleeping.[1] The song concerns a monk's duty to ring the bell for matines. Frère Jacques has apparently overslept, it is time to ring the bell for matines, and someone wakes him up with this song.[2] The reason this was localized the way it was, is because a direct translation would force the song to be off-key:

Direct English translation: Brother Jacques, Brother Jacques,
Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping?
Ring [the bells for] the matins! Ring [the bells for] the matins!
Ding, dang, dong. Ding, dang, dong.''

So if you want the translation to be accurate then it should go: "Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping? Brother Jacques, Brother Jacques, Ring the bells for morning! Ring the bells for morning! Ding, dang, dong. Ding, dang, dong." This maintains the musical intergrity of the song while eliminiating the mis-translation altogether. "The Matins" would be localized as morning, since that is what the word was shooting for. John is simply a localized name for Jacques. So, everyone goes to sleep. Speaking of bells; the bell rings at the school house on the hill. All the cars arrive as all the kids (minus George and Richard) and sit down. Peppa introduces Delphine to Madam Gazelle as she explains that Delphine taught her a French song; and now it's time for her to experience an English song. Danny Dog proclaims that this is the time for the Bing Bong Song. I realize that the pay off is to sing the English version of Frere Jacques and then Delphine points out that song makes no sense; but I love the Bing Bong Song and so does Delphine, so this is perfectly fine. Madame Gazelle brings out the guitar and was sing the Bing Bong Song complete with karaoke lyrics. And then Delphine recaps the English words and it is also in karaoke. Everyone laughs as Gazelle continues the song to end the episode at 4:30 approx. A really fun episode and probably the longest written rant I have done in a long time, actually. **** (80%).

The Fire Engine: This is episode #118 on the animation paper as the episode opens on the house on the hill with the red car pointing down the hill now. Zoom into the sitting room with Peppa reading a book, George reading the comics, Daddy Pig reading the newspaper, Alfred Khan having a heart attack and Mummy Pig standing up dressed as a fire fighter. Daddy Pig is dressed up like he's about to go to a soccer game shortly. Mummy Pig explains that she's going to the Mummy Fire Fighting Practice, which Daddy Pig blows off as an excuse to have tea and chat. Mummy Pig decides to ask him what is he doing and Daddy Pig proclaims that he is taking to the Daddies football team; which Mummy Pig blows off as kicking a soccer ball around. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Oh and they are having a BBQ as the doorbell rings. We see outside, Mr. Bull (with BBQ grill), Mr. Rabbit (with BBQ coals bag), Mr. Pony (with spatula) and Mr. Zebra (with bottles of drinks) in their soccer outfits. The Pig family come out for the meet and greet and then the male adults all run westward down the hill as Peppa wants to see a fire engine. Mummy Pig agrees to it and Mummy Pig, Peppa and George hop into the back of the car and they drive down the hill. Jump cut to the fire station; which looks like a fire station with an airplane hanger and tower combined. Out comes Miss Rabbit -- the owner of the fire station -- as the car parks on the steepest side of the hill. Everyone gets out as Miss Rabbit and company head inside to see the fire engine. It's your typical fire engine with a hand bell for Miss Rabbit to ring. So, we head upside in the tower with Mummy Pony, Mummy Sheep and Mummy Dog having tea. So yes; Daddy Pig was right all along. Mummy Pig likes this as Peppa notices a red phone on a desk. Peppa is curious and answers the phone; but Miss Rabbit tells her to sod off because it can only be used if there is a fire. Then the phone rings and Miss Rabbit is literally screaming fire in a crowded tower and no one is panicking. The adults are frowning -- because this is BS -- while the kids are confused. So, Miss Rabbit finally answers the phone in a panic and it's Daddy Pig wanting to speak with Mummy Pig. Mummy Pig answers the phone and she is blushing and sounds pissed since that phone is only for emergencies. Daddy Pig claims that this is an emergency, because he cannot find the bottle of tomato ketchup. What a naughty Daddy Pig?! Mr. Rabbit asks if he can start the BBQ, Daddy Pig says yes, Mummy Pig tells him not to screw this up and Daddy Pig claims that males are experts at BBQ'ing. Yeah; I'll bet.

When Daddy Pig hangs up the phone; the males have no idea what they are doing. By the way; in Britian, matches are called "fire lighters". Jump cut back to Miss Rabbit drinking tea as smoke is in the background. So, I assume that is where the BBQ is. So; Peppa, Mummy Pig and Miss Rabbit exchange notes as we discover that this area is so careful that Miss Rabbit has never had any experience in putting a fire out because there has never been a fire in this area. Then the phone rings again; and it glows red by the way. Peppa notices this and Miss Rabbit allows her to answer the phone because it's Daddy Pig again. Peppa Pig answers it and it is Daddy Pig being very naughty as Peppa rightfully blows him off for being so. Daddy Pig wants to talk to Miss Rabbit as Miss Rabbit grabs the phone and tries to scold him; but then Daddy Pig screams fire because the BBQ is on fire. Now the problem with this is: Most BBQ grills underneath the racks are supposed to be on fire! If the fire was spreading onto the grass; this would be a big problem; but this fire is entirely contained with the grill, which is normal. This just makes the males look stupid and cowardly. Miss Rabbit runs in a panic as the rest chant in unison "Mommies to the rescue"! They all go down the firepole; with Mummy Pig helping the kids down. We get into the fire engine and we race towards the destination: A BBQ grill allegedly on fire. Peppa is ringing the bell like the cheeky troll that she in and she sounds like she's having the time of her life. Cameos: Candy Cat, Daddy Pig, Mrs. Cow, Doctor Elephant, Emily Elephant, Doctor Brown Bear in his dark blue car as the sirens ring. This needs to be a ringtone. Jump cut to the male adults looking at the BBQ on fire and there is no sign that this fire is out of control. So here comes the fire engine, everyone pops as the daddies bail, Mummy Dog turns on the water while Miss Rabbit coordinates, and Mummy Pig with Mummy Sheep douse the BBQ with so much water that it flooded the garden; but the BBQ fire is out. Daddy Pig has the stupidest chef's hat on as he thanks Mummy Pig for filling the grill to the brim with water. Oh; and there are muddy puddles around. If you cannot guess the final spot right now...you guessed it. DING! Peppa and George have their boots on off-screen as everyone jumps up and down in muddy puddles with glee. Earthquakes are created, backsplash laugh is done, end episode at 4:30 approx. This was a great episode; BBQ grill antics aside. **** (80%).

Teddy Playgroup: Next up is episode #120 on the animation paper as all the cars come at to the school house on the hill as all the kids come out. As Daddy Pig jumps out of his car, out comes Peppa with a Teddy that is a darker brown and appears to be well dressed. Peppa explains that it's Teddy Playgroup as Daddy Pig is confused. In comes Madame Gazelle to explain that this Teddy is the school's mascot; which is funny considering that this would be the only time I have ever seen it. Peppa is supposed to take care of it; this is a bad idea. Oh; and Madame Gazelle has luggage for the bear which includes pjs, a photo album and a toothbrush. By the way; Teddy Playgroup is his real name. And you thought Teddy Ruxpin was a joke of a name? So we head to the house on the hill through the back door as the car parks on the steepest side of the western hill...AGAIN! Peppa and Daddy enter the house to the kitchen as we see George is having lemonade at the kitchen table with Mummy Pig. We show off Teddy Playgroup as Mummy Pig is more interested in the photo album showing off pictures of Suzy Sheep in London, Zoe Zebra in Paris, Danny Dog in Egypt among others, so this Teddy Playgroup gets a lot of flier miles. Peppa hopes she can continue the legacy. I have zero confidence in this as we head outside AFTER HAPPY HOUR as Peppa goes up to her bed of playmates and introduces Teddy Playgroup to everyone, including her ragged Teddy. Peppa then swipes everyone off the bed to make room, like a troll would. Then Teddy Playgroup meets Mr. Dinesaur for a while as Daddy Pig decides to take a picture of the moment. Then we get a funny moment: Peppa wants Teddy to have an exciting time; so let's go to the North Pole. Daddy suggest the supermarket and Peppa accepts that without incident. Peppa claims that she doesn't think Teddy has ever go shopping. Considering the other photos in the photo album, I would say she's trolling it now. So we head to the supermarket as we head inside with Daddy driving the trolly with George sitting in it. Peppa is carrying TPG and showing off the fruits. I was expecting the Bananas in Pajamas to show up; but no dice.

So we head to the check out counter with Miss Rabbit reading Ezza Magazine like every woman does on this show. George is off the trolly and has the camera, and starts taking pictures like crazy. This actually plays into the finish; so Daddy Pig loads up the food onto the checkout counter and Miss Rabbit checks out the food. The flash stuns everyone as in the background; somehow Teddy Playgroup gets on the counter and Miss Rabbit checks it and puts it in the bag. I see this supermarket uses green bags as we head on the boring road with George, Peppa and Daddy Pig as Peppa realizes that TPG is missing and it's all Daddy Pig's fault! Because it's never the kids' fault for doing something stupid. In this case; it's George's fault. Daddy tells her not to worry as we head home and place the food bags on the kitchen table as Peppa is on Daddy's case for losing TPG as Mummy Pig is worried. Ah; but Daddy Pig has a Krackpotkin Plan: He'll use the pictures to create fliers for Missing Persons. So, we get a long sequence upstairs into Mummy's office as Daddy Pig puts the camera into the camera scanner and then prints out pictures they took at the supermarket. Jump cut to Mummy Pig unpacking the food as she asks where they are going. Daddy and the kids run out of the house, because they are going to stick pictures on the tree. I don't know if I'm jealous of the trees, or feel bad for them being used as billboard. They tape the pictures to the trees as apparently; one of the pictures was done in the morning before they went to the supermarket and that scene was cut for time constraints. Peppa checks the supermarket picture and then discovers where he might be as the family goes back into the kitchen and Mummy Pig simply finds TPG in the bags, wasting perfectly good paper and making the trees sad both ways. Everyone laughs as we head to Playgroup with the bell ringing. It's time for show & tell as Peppa recaps the entire story as Daddy Pig lost him in the super market which all the kids gasp in horror. Good thing Daddy Pig isn't here; or he would be a blushing groom. Gazelle is impressed as Peppa cosplays TPG speaking and everyone except Peppa and TGP do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Well; at least this was George's fault for losing TPG instead of Peppa being careless like it always is. Really fun episode. *** 3/4 (75%).

Danny's Pirate Party: Here is episode #121 on the animation paper as we head to the pirate house on the hill complete with pirate flag, pirate motif balloons and Danny Dog dressed up like a pirate; since it's Danny Dog's birthday. All the parents drive up and all park on the steepest sides of the hill...AGAIN! The kids run out, dressed up like pirates. Apparently; they all dress up like WildCat when he was a pirate in Captains Outrageous. George just has a pirate hat on, like Danny Dog; but sadly didn't dress up like Kit Cloudkicker in Captains Outrageous. Neither does Danny Dog...nor does Pedro F'N Pony as he dresses up like Clementine from Citizen Khan. I see Pedro Pony has the same issue Chip had in Double'O'Chipmunks: Watching too many westerns and thinking they can be applied to spy movies. No one cares anyway as Pedro Pony is dumb. Granddad Dog has giant gold rings on his ears and looks closer to Kit's pirate costume, but still leagues away. Granddad Dog is now Dogbeard and he has at least four giant white feathers in his hat to make sure no one messes with him during this party. Suzy has no idea what Granddad Dog is talking about, which is funny because I can understand what Don Karnage says most of the time, and I can barely make out what Granddad Dog was saying in pirate speak. Arrrrr; time to play me pirate games. They are in Danny Dog's sitting room in case no one noticed nor cared. Pedro asks if this will be a dangerous game; and Mummy Dog says it's very safe. Well; that's a relief, it means Pedro is not going to be a part of this game. And no one likes it. HEE HEE! Granddad Dog claims that it will be exciting and Peppa winks as everyone approves of this. So there is a stand with poster paper as we see paper of the golden CHEST OF DEMONS as Dogbeard's treasure was stolen by Captain Hog. I wonder who will be Captain Hog in this setup. Hmmm...Suzy still doesn't get it as the narrator calls pirate speak difficult to understand. Wait, why? Oh; and it's Grandpa Pig who stole his treasure, that cheeky bastard! So; we get a map of the tugboat and the orchard of Grandpa Pig where the treasure is and the rules of engagement are to get the gold without being seen. Of course; right in front of the kids no less, Granddad Dog is ringing up Grandpa Pig on his mobile phone as we jump cut to the orchard with Grandpa Pig sitting on a chair with Polly on top of his head as there are nets of gold strung on branches of apple trees. Everything is set as we jump cut back to the sitting room as Granddad Dog wants them to head to the Black Galeon; which even Peppa is confused at this. Run to the boat, you troll!

So, everyone runs out of the house with each kid having a colored pirate motif balloon. Except for Pedro Pony, because he's a stupid idiot. Mummy Rabbit, Mummy Dog and Mummy Pig are helping put on the lifejackets on the kids at the river where the Black Galeon is located. As in; Granddad Dog's tugboat. George, I think tries to play coy during this sequence too since he bails before his lifejacket is even on. Jump cut to Grandpa Pig in the orchard complaining about Dogbeard being late as Grandma Pig comes in with a tray of tea and chocolate chip biscuits. Again; why are Granddad Dog and Grandpa Pig friends again? Jump cut back to the river as literally everyone needs to go to the bathroom to do some business. HAHA! Jump cut back to Grandpa Pig complaining about them being late again. Polly don't care at all; so him being a clever and noisy parrot are perfectly accurate in this case. So, he rings Granddad Dog in to complain and Granddad Dog, Mummy Dog (with balloons) and the kids are on the ship now and everything is ready. So we sail the river blue as everyone sings the TEDDY RUXPIN PIRATE SONG OF DOOM to waste time. Somehow; Mummy Pig, Mummy Rabbit and now Mummy Sheep have arrived at the orchard via teleport. Dogbeard whisper yells the plan and the three mummies all cheer loudly, and Peppa tells them to shut up. I don't care if they are parent; you don't blow a pirate's cover unless you are trying to catch one. So all the kids hide in bushes surrounding the orchard as it's clear Captain Hog knows where they are and is pretending to not see them; because all the kids grab the net of coins from the branches; as they are all chocolate coins with shield logos on them. The kid eats the coins; I don't understand why the narrator is whisper yelling, it's pointless. Oh; and guess who is caught by Captain Hog? Captain Dogbeard of course! This was done, so the so called best friends can blush and have a tug of war; while blowing each other off. Thankfully; Mummy Dog comes in with the chocolate cake of doom as she debriefs the two pirate captains. Danny Dog blows out the candles and declares this the best pirate party ever. Don Karnage: Hold...my...beer. Danny is four as everyone but Danny Dog and Mummy Dog do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was a perfectly acceptable birthday party episode. *** 1/2 (70%).

Mr. Potato Comes To Town: Moving right along, here is episode #122 on the animation paper as we open on the house on the hill with Mr. Zebra's post truck trumpets in the background. Zoom in towards the sitting room as Mummy Pig, George and Peppa do exercises while watching Mr. Potato do the same. Daddy Pig is sitting on the chair smiling and doing nothing...AND THE ROCK SAYS NOTHING. Oh goody! I actually remember this episode! This contains one of the greatest troll moves Peppa Pig has ever done in her career. There are pictures of a sun, a blue car and a human girl in a purple dress. He then shows off pictures and throws away the pear drawing right away before showing an apple. Peppa and George are sitting down in awe of this as Mr. Potato's gimmick is that he is an health ranger in a potato costume. I'm shocked Mike Adams has not stolen this gimmick yet. Oh wait; potatoes are bad in his world. Never mind what I said. Lots of trumpets playing as Mr. Potato is opening a new gym in town as Mummy Pig turns off the television. Peppa wants to go see him; but Mummy Pig isn't so sure about this. Daddy Pig gets up and shakes the room; so Peppa asks again and Mummy Pig says all right. So we head to the new sports gym which apparently has a tennis motif to it. Almost everyone who was in Series Two is here, including Mrs. Cow, Doctor Hamster (who we'll see much later on), Delphine Donkey and her little brother Didier Donkey; along with what appears to be the official debut of Edmond Elephant. There are balloons around as a horn honks and Suzy thinks it's Mr. Potato and everyone cheers....and then the Pig family shows up in their car and everyone groans. HAHA! Everyone in the car gets out as we meet and greet. Danny Dog points out that Suzy was a total idiot as Peppa blows this off. Danny Dog agrees because Peppa Pig is too big and even Peppa blows that off; which Danny Dog claims that Mr. Potato is smaller than Peppa. Spoiler alert: Peppa is correct about Mr. Potato. Suzy agrees with Danny as we hear the clown horns. Here comes Mr. Potato in the most uncomfrontable one person red car I have ever seen.

Even Gyro Gearloose's MANILLA VANILLA UFO OF DOOM was more fitting than that thing. Oh; and as I thought, Peppa was correct in determining that Mr. Potato is bigger than the kids, and even bigger than the adults to boot! He gets out of his car and cuts the ribbon while addressing the crowd. Everyone pops as the kids head inside with Mr. Potato and apparently, some of the adults were extras to demonstrate the exercise equipment because Miss Rabbit, Mrs. Zebra, Daddy Cat, Mummy Cat and Mummy Sheep. Worse; Mrs. Zebra was in the clapping shot before they went in with Mummy Sheep in barely in the second to last clapping shot. The continuity here is awful. Mr. Potato cuts his spiel and might as well say; "learn your teleportation skills". Peppa then adds, "potatoes" and Mr. Potato just realizes, he's screwed himself with that promo. Suzy is now wondering if Mr. Potato is a real potato or a reformed mutant potato, like the one in "Night Of The Living Spud". Of course, he's not a normal potato; because he has legs, a mustache, arms and a mouth. But potatos do have eyes. Pedro at least sounds reasonable with him being a super potato. Peppa explains that they watch his show and he's very proud of it. He wants them to send their drawing to him and the kids all agree to. So we head to the school house on the hill with the kids and Madame Gazelle as today's class is drawing pictures for the Mr. Potato Fitness Show~! Oh goody! So all the kids draw pictures and color them. Okay, fine. So; here are all the drawing in order of appearance...

[1.] Danny Dog: Pineapple. I didn't know pirates loved pineapple.
[2.] Rebecca Rabbit: Carrot. Of course!
[3.] Pedro Pony: A potato in a blue superhero outfit. Already the second best drawing of them all; but Pedro is still jobbing to Peppa's drawing...
[4.] Emily Elephant: A pea...by drawing a green dot. Simple, but effective.
[5.] George Pig: A tomato. Wow; I was expecting him to draw a dinosaur there.

And then we get to Peppa Pig's drawing....I'm sorry; I'm crying again. I was sobbing with laughter when I first heard and seen this. Peppa Pig's drawing is...Daddy Pig sitting on his sofa, watching television. Implying that he sits at the television like a vegatable. Even better; Madame Gazelle calls it excellent and puts it in the parcel just like that! There was no confusion, there was no questioning, she just accepted the drawing carte blanche. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is the greatest troll move I have ever seen out of Peppa. So, Gazelle seals the envelope and it's being delivered to Mr. Potato. Morning arises as we head to the sitting room with the Pig family watching on. Peppa tells Daddy Pig that they posted pictures to him and Daddy Pig literally talks to the television and Peppa blows him off for that. Also funny. Mr. Potato shows off the post and reveals the first picture, which is George's tomato. Daddy Pig sits down on his love seat enjoying this as he shows off Danny Dog's pineapple and then reveals Peppa's drawing and this one Mr. Potato gives 100% perfect marks for, because it's his most favorite. Peppa points out that this is her picture and Daddy Pig is dazed and confused; because he just got trolled in the greatest troll move in pre-school history. Pedro and George's pictures are on the wall; but not the Daddy Pig one, which should go on his wall. I guess he's going to have that blown up and used as wall paper. I hope that is the case; that would make the troll move even more funny. Everyone jumps up and down after Peppa and George get Daddy Pig off the loveseat and everyone except Goldie loves jumping up and down. This ends the episode at 4:30 approx. Okay; this is the best episode of Series 3 ever. **** 3/4 (95%). The song at the end credits was also brilliant, too. The 1/4* deduction was for the logic break at the sport center.

The Train Ride: So, this is episode #123 on the animation paper as we head to the train station on the hill with Madame Gazelle, all the kids (including George and Richard) and Mr. Rabbit running the station counter. So yes; Miss Rabbit does not have a monopoly when it comes to multiple jobs. The kids are all jumping up and down (except for Richard, who is merely giggling) as Mr. Rabbit blows the whistle on this. He's the station manager as Madame Gazelle asks for ten children tickets and one teacher ticket. Let me guess: teacher get a discount. I'm so sad that this wasn't played into the story. So eleven tickets are processed and Gazelle give the children one ticket apiece and tells them not to lose those tickets. Mr. Rabbit comes out and wants them to show those tickets. Literally six seconds since getting the ticket, guess who loses their ticket? Come on, guess; it's too shocking! SURPRISE~! IT'S ANTONIO INOKI~! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...Yes, it's our resident brainfarting cowboy lover: Pedro F'N Pony. Somehow, Gazelle has teleported to behind Pedro to scold him and then Zoe notices that it's on the ground out of nowhere. It's ticket #432 by the way. Which is the same ticket everyone has. In comes the train and of course, it's Miss Rabbit being the conductor. Oh, and in Britian; it's the train driver. Everyone gets in, including Mr. Rabbit with his whistle and red flag waving. The train heads down the track as this causes the kids to sing in kind. Inside the train; Gazelle gives the kids clipboards with an activity screens. Their job is to waste time pointing out objects they see during the train ride, just in case anyone has any idea of sleeping during this trip. There are only three objects to spot: A sailing ship, a signal box and a tunnel. Sorry clouds, trees and the cameoing Granddad Dog on his tugboat; you are not on the list of train activities. Ride the train, maaaaannnnnn! However; the tugboat is on the list, despite not being a sailing ship and is checked off in green pencil. Mr. Rabbit comes in and asks for ticket for the ticket check. Guess who lost his ticket...AGAIN! Yup; Series 3 was the beginning of Pedro Pony being made to look like an idiot in every episode he's in. This is complete with blushing and I was hoping that he was sitting on it and it stuck onto his ass; but alas it didn't. Oh wait; it appears out of nowhere for no reason on the seat. Crisis adverted, I guess.

So, we head up the hill and I'm shocked the kids were not chanting: "We can do it, we can do it" here. The train goes down the hill like we are seeing a roller coaster. So, as this is going on, remember the school camping trip where Pedro sells an illiness and wanted to go to the front of the bus and sit with Madame Gazelle? Well; he asks the same thing; except he walks to the front of the train where Miss Rabbit is. Miss Rabbit don't care and allows Pedro to ride the train and wears the conductor's cap as Pedro stops selling and drives the train. TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM ensues and then the train is forced to stop because they have found the signal box ordering them to stop. So there is a road and a watch tower with Mr. Bull controlling the signal box and barrier. Then we get a really funny moment: The narrator claims that someone important is going to cross the train tracks. At first; I thought this would be the first appearance of The Queen or even Mr. Potato driving his car. Those would have been good choices; but instead, the one who crosses the tracks is...wait for it...Mrs. Duck. WHAT?! Yes, it's the ducks, even though there is no picnic in progress. The signal box gets checked off by the way as the barrier is down and the signal box turns green. So; the train keeps going as Emily notices that there is just the tunnel remaining and the whole scene goes pitch black with just whites in eyes, which is the signal that they have just gone through a tunnel. They check this off the list; and the train finally arrives at the station. WAR CHANGE~! Everyone gets off as Peppa wonders how they are getting home, and Madame Gazelle points out that they are back at the original train station because this was a practice run track that goes in a circle. HAHA! Mr. Rabbit is asking for tickets; I don't know why since they are already at the...Oh wait; it's to make Pedro Pony look like an idiot again. But wait; Miss Rabbit wants her hat back and Pedro takes it off, revealing the ticket is on his head. Pedro Pony is a brainfarting cowboy lover. Everyone is a brainfarting cowboy lover. All the kids except for Pedro do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Get use to Pedro being an idiot, folks; it can only get more absurd from here. *** (60%).

Granny Pig's Chickens: Last up for today is episode #124 on the animation paper as we head to the white house on the hill as the red car shows up. Out comes Mummy Pig, George and Peppa as the narrator tells us that the kids are sleeping over at the grandparents house. Oh; and the car is parked on the steep side of the hill...AGAIN! Grandma Pig comes out and George still is pronouncing Granny Pig as Ganny Ig. I'm beginning to wonder if Papa Ig and Ganny Ig are their real names, and George knows it? We meet and greet as Mummy Pig gets back into the car, which has already been turned into the opposite direction and drives away. So everyone goes into the house and heads to where the kids are sleeping for the night; which is a one bed bedroom, where Mummy Pig use to sleep. George and Peppa do some butt bouncing on the bed, which Grandma Pig claims that it is just like Mummy Pig. Somethings never change. She is also a cheeky hypocrite, since Peppa and George aren't allowed to bounce on the bed, which they have violated that rule at least three times in this show already. So, Peppa and George leave their toys on the bed and comes downstairs because they are heading outside to see Grandpa Pig. So we meet and greet him and his veggie garden. Peppa and George are in awe over the carrots and peas; but they are shocked because all of Grandpa Pig's lettuces are gone and the area is full of chicken-equse footprints. Peppa accuses the brown birds on the conveniently placed tree for this and Grandpa Pig calls them very stupid for not falling for the really not scary at all scarecrow. In comes Grandma Pig demanding answers to this outrage. In comes three colored chickens who basically blow their cover. Grandpa calls them Tom, Dick and Harry. However; their real names are Jemima, Sarah and Vanessa. Jemima is the brown chicken, Vanessa is the white chicken and Sarah is the black chicken. In comes the cock named Neville who crows loudly. No Red Arrows were involved in this, sadly. I should note that Dick and stupid are not usually in pre-school shows, because they are "rude". Even though rudeness is attitude, not words.

I should also point out that Jemima is usually not a good name nowadays due to Aunt Jemima, who is a racial black stereotypical character used to advertise maple syrup. Oh; and Grandma Pig calls Neville a cockerel, or cock for short. Also another word usually not used in children's cartoons as they sub it with rooster. Grandpa Pig accuses Nevile of vandalism and eating flies and lettuce, after Grandma Pig claims that Neville wouldn't hurt a fly. When Grandpa Pig is the realist; you know those MRA are nothing but vicious sexist sacks of poop. Grandma Pig tells them they don't need to eat lettuce, because she has a box of corn seed for them to eat up. So; we lure the chickens and cock into the fenced area with the corn seed for a while. Peppa and George help in this chore, too. Apparently; the chicken coop is called a Wendy house. So Wendy is the answer to Barbie in this show? So Peppa peeks in and doesn't see eggs; but Grandma Pig assures them that there will be soon. Scene change to the white house on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR as Peppa and George come in with their pjs and toys. Grandma Pig tucks them in for the night and tells them that Neville will inform them when it's morning and the chickens might lay their eggs. Grandma Pig leaves, and the kids sleep and snort. Scene change to morning at the white house on the hill as we head inside the bedroom where the kids are sleeping. Neville crows and the two kids instantly wake up. Scene change to outside as everyone runs out of the house towards the chicken coop. Grandma Pig has a basket on retainer, so she's expecting eggs. Head to the chicken coop with Peppa thanking Neville, who crows loudly. George does the cock-a-doodle-doo thing perfectly; leading me to believe that Ganny Ig and Papa Ig are their birth names now. The chickens come out as Peppa peeks inside and sees four eggs, so one of those chickens laid two eggs. Grandma Pig grabs the eggs, puts them into the basket as Peppa thanks the chickens. Jump cut to Grandma Pig boiling the eggs on the stove in the kitchen. Jump cut to the kitchen table as everyone is there. Grandma Pig puts the eggs on egg cups; and everyone breaks the egg shells and eats the eggs. Peppa loves the eggs as Grandma Pig explains that it's due to corn seed and Grandpa Pig says it's due to lettuce, everyone laughs to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This episode shows the cultural attitudes between Britian and in North America when it comes to certain words. ** 1/2 (50%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; eight more episodes are in the books; and we got three outstanding episodes in this one! Mr. Potato's debut was glorious; mostly thanks to Peppa being the most cheekist troll ever. The Fire Engine would have been close to that if the BBQ fire was more out of control than it actually was and Delphine Donkey's regular debut was fantastic as she didn't need English lessons, she only needed to sing The Bing Bong Song. As I said before: Peppa needs French lessons a lot more than Delphine needs English lessons. Ditto Daddy Pig. Danny's Pirate Party was pretty good as well and Teddy Playgroup was impressive, although Daddy Pig is still dumb as usual. The rest were average to good; no clunkers in this one; although Granny Pig's Chickens was close to below average due to the overuse of rude words and somewhat racist name of one of the chickens. Overall; this was a fabulous set of episodes; and there is more to come. So...

Thumbs up for Mr. Potato Comes To Town, Delphine Donkey and The Fire Engine; thumbs in the middle for everything else and I'll see you all next time.

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