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Peppa Pig: Series Three #6 Rant

Reviewed: 04/22/2018

The End Of The Series Numbered 3; But The Beginning Of The Crazy Series 4!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Okay; so we head back to Series three as we start the next eight episodes of the Harley Bird era as the gloves are finally off of this show as it turns from just a normal pre-school show into a legendary pre-school show. So; how do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Gym Class: So, we begin with episode #150 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the sports center on the hill as Madame Gazelle is driving the bus today! Wow; was Miss Rabbit sick today, or something? Everyone gets out of the bus wearing all white with white shoes on, their gym gear if you will. Madame Gazelle is in her normal clothes; but not Pedro F'N Pony, because he is wearing the most Gedo fashion style superhero costume of all time. He looks like a cheerleader in that outfit; which would be an improvement for Pedro Pony I might add. Pedro thought it was dressing up day; which means nothing changes and Pedro is clueless as usual. Madame Gazelle then ignores this and they go inside to the fitness equipment as Mummy Pig makes a cameo and Peppa doesn't even notice her, like a troll. To be fair; neither did the parents nor the rest of the children notice each other, so there you go. We head into the gym room as Madame Gazelle informs the children that Grampy Rabbit is the gym teacher. Oh boy; this is going to be fun to mock, I can see it now. Peppa wonders where Grampy is and Grampy introduces himself by swinging like Tarzan on the gym ropes from high in the air and somehow, he did not screw this up at all. Emily asks if they have to do that, thankfully the answer is no. I do not want to see Pedro get killed doing an epic fail on that spot; that would kill this show. Oh; and the kids are little explorers and not big athletes; which sounds like an insult as Grampy Rabbit is going to make explorers out of them yet. Grampy then notices Pedro Pony and Pedro blushes claiming that it's pretend. HAHA! Grampy Rabbit loves pretend as we proceed to run on the spot and flap those arms for a while. Then they stretch and jiggle the fat for a while; acting all silly like kids. Oh wait...Grampy blows the whistle and now it's time for the really good stuff. Grampy then tells them that the adventure has started and Peppa is confused. Grampy then tells them to visualize the gym as a jungle and Peppa cannot suspend her disbelief for this. Neither can Suzy; as Grampy wants them to imagine the stuff, because he wants them to suspend their disbelief. So Grampy gets on the balance beam over a blue gym mat, which Grampy visualizes as a rope across a river tied to two trees. I'm not making this up! It's windy, dark and stormy as we get a dream sequence of Grampy Rabbit walking on a tightrope tied to two trees over a river. Yeah.

Suzy is so not buying this crap. Grampy tells them to pretend as everyone gets on the balance beam and sells the wind blowing as Grumpy is blowing air at them. Everyone pops afterwards and Grampy Rabbit blows the whistle and praises them. So, the next stage is swinging on ropes over gym mats; but you have to pretend that there are crocodiles in a river during this as everyone holds each other and screams. Except for Pedro F'N Pony; who doesn't know how to suspend his disbelief either. So, Peppa has to tell him to pretend as Pedro's selling of telling the crocodiles to go away sucks. Grampy Rabbit don't care either way as we get another dream sequence of Grampy Rabbit dodging crocodiles while swinging from a rope on a dark night. Apparently; chomping teeth is virture signaling of the crocodiles being scared of him. That is such BS that it's too funny. So, the kids do the exact same thing as in the sequence, only with less swing because they don't want to bump into each other and cross the pretend river safely. They pop for this as Grampy introduces the vault and jumps over the vault horse with ease. The kids are in awe of this; but Grampy Rabbit wants them to pretend that it's a dinosaur and crawl between it's legs. Of course; George is not here in this episode and that's BS in itself. And yes; this segment also has a dream sequence of Grampy Rabbit crawling through a dinosaur's legs. I'm shocked that it was the most unbelivable dream sequence ever. They couldn't have him crawl in between a tiger's legs? So the kids crawl underneath the vault's legs and complete the task with ease, HUZZAH~! Grampy declares that the kids have made it out of the jungle and the kids all cheer. Grampy Rabbit is the best gym teacher I have ever met and everyone in storyline agrees with me. Gazelle enters as we summarize all of Grampy Rabbit's pretend spots and Peppa snorts before everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Grampy Rabbit has grown on me faster than his BS stories; because I can believe in them since Grampy is crazy as hell. **** (80%).

Pottery: Next up is episode #152 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the orange roof house on the hill as we zoom in a bit and then head inside the bedroom of Zoe Zebra. Peppa and Zoe are playing picnic with their stuffed animals, and using what appears to be legit chocolate chip cookies. George, Zuzu and Zaza are at a small table making models out of clay. George is clearly trying to make a brown dinosaur out of this. Zuzu and Zaza are making trees out of the clay; as we hear Zoe and Peppa cosplay a doll's picnic, where the monkey cannot speak and Zoe has to translate. They want tea; but there is no tea set. So, they ask the little kids about making this set; George is like "no, get away from here" as he uses his clay dinosaur to protect the clay! Zuzu and Zaza say no in kind; but they change their minds when they are told they can help make the set. So, the kids make a tea pot and tea cup as Zoe proclaims that monkey can have tea; but the handle comes right off the kettle and lands on the table. The clay is way too soft; but there is hope because Mrs. Zebra's gimmick is that she makes pottery in her spare time. We head to the sitting room as Mrs. Zebra is watching a television show about sailing while reading EZZA magazine. In comes the kids who ask for the making of a tea set; Mrs. Zebra is perfectly fine with this and heads into her pottery lab which has a clock, brick walls and lots of pottery on the shelves. There is a potter's wheel as we exchange notes on the making of pottery as Mrs. Zebra demonstrates how to make pottery. Here's a video from How It's Made on how pottery is created nowadays, no need to do play by play here. Mrs. Zebra is doing it hand made as she makes one cup and a handle with the pottery wheel from clay in a trash bin. Peppa tries to do some pottery on the pottery wheel and she makes a floppy thing that sprays out clay. Not exactly easy, eh? So we head to a wooden table as Mrs. Zebra demonstrates the worm method of making a cup. Sadly; when the kids make their clay worms, Peppa was singing perfectly in tune with the song, unlike the time she sang about wiggly worms in Compost. So, we do the wraparound and smooth it out to make a cup with a handle. Zuzu and Zaza do the same as George of course, makes a dinosaur out of the clay, just to be George. Peppa of course blows this off; but Mrs. Zebra don't care as all the clay is put in a klim (a clay curing oven in case anyone doesn't know).

Narrator: Five hours later...

So we return with Mrs. Zebra bringing out the tea set as everyone paints the tea set with bright colors; with George painting the dinosaur tea kettle green. Somehow; there is a logic break as there were supposed to be four cups, but had to extend to five out of nowhere since George needed one despite never actually making one. Oh; and Mrs. Zebra fills up George's dinosaur tea pot with water and George pours out water for everyone. Peppa calls this the best tea pot set ever and really; who can argue? The tea pot is Mr. Dinesaur for goodness sakes! Everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Not much of a story; but the Cleveland notes edition of making pottery was good enough. ** 1/2 (50%).

Paper Aeroplanes: This is episode #153 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the house on the hill as we zoom into Daddy Pig's office with Peppa and George watching Daddy Pig packing up papers because Daddy Pig is getting ready for work. Daddy runs off as one paper flies as the office is a mess. Apparently; he also left a set of blueprints behind in the process when the kids wave bye bye to him (and probably his job) as Daddy Pig jumps into his car and drives down to the boring road. Head to the kitchen with Mummy Pig grabbing the dishes and apparently; there is a bottle of strawberry juice on the table. Peppa and George come in as Peppa wants to make something and Mummy Pig asks what would they like to make. George of course wants to make a dinesaur (sic); which Peppa blows off because that is the default word and George is smug. Mummy Pig decides to do the next best thing George likes: aeroplanes. Sounds great to me as Peppa and George run upstairs and grab three pieces of paper off the floor of Daddy Pig's office and then returns with them to the kitchen table. So; Mummy Pig demonstrates how to make paper airplanes (aeroplanes in Britian; made out of bubbly chocolate bars I guess) which involves a lot of folding. Then they go outside after Peppa and George fold their aeroplanes and Mummy Pig first throws her airplane and it flies right into a tree. Peppa flies her aeroplane next and runs about five feet in front of Mummy Pig before letting go; and it flies into a conveniently placed area where the flower pots are and lands in a flower pot. George runs and flies his aeroplane as it somehow does a loop-de-loop for only fifteen pounds and then lands in the duck pond. The ducks quack as the paper sinks. Peppa now wants to make a big paper airplane and we need a big piece of paper. So Peppa and George run back upstairs and as I expected, they didn't even bother to pick up the three pieces of paper on the floor the first time they went into the office. However; this time, they take Daddy Pig's blueprints of a house and return as it's already folded up into a giant paper airplane. Suddenly; the horn honks and the red car has returned with Daddy Pig waving hello. Mummy Pig asks why he isn't at work and Daddy Pig explains that he has forgotten about some papers. Peppa shows off the big aeroplane as Daddy Pig decides to throw the blueprints aeroplane into the air for her sake. Daddy Pig is dumb.

So; the giant blueprints aeroplane flies away stage right for a long time as Peppa waves goodbye to both the airplane and Daddy Pig's job. Okay; I made the last one up as Daddy Pig heads into the house to find his important work papers; but then comes out and asks about them. Mummy Pig ponders this over and then motions Daddy Pig to come with her as they fetch back the papers from the tree, potted plant and the duck pond. Mrs. Duck has the paper in her beak with Daddy Pig gets the paper back. However; there leaves the giant blueprints, which Daddy Pig threw away as an aeroplane that Peppa said bye-bye to. Daddy Pig blushes and realizes that he was very dumb. So; he brings out his cellphone and rings the office as we logically head to Daddy Pig's office and inside with Mummy Cat and Mr. Rabbit on their computers. Mr. Rabbit answers the phone and he asks Daddy Pig about the papers and Daddy Pig tells him that he has all of them, except for the blueprints as Peppa is in troll mode known as "I cannot tell a lie" and blurts out that Daddy Pig threw the blueprints away. Mr. Rabbit is shocked by this as we then see the blueprints fly so far and so hard that they head into the window of Daddy Pig's office and land in Mr. Rabbit's hands. Daddy Pig just saved himself. So much so; that he's allowed to take the rest of the day off work, because he's an expert at throwing things. Only in this show, only in this show. Just keep repeating that and your brain will not bleed. So; Daddy Pig is going to the back to sit down in his chair to read the newspaper; but Peppa wants the newspaper to make another paper aeroplane. Of course! Everyone laughs, snorts, makes paper airplanes and flies them to end the episode at 4:30 approx. A pretty fun episode and for once, Daddy Pig dumb move actually saves the day! *** 1/2 (70%).

Edmond Elephant's Birthday: Next up is episode #154 on the animation paper as we open the episode on the house on the hill as the post truck has arrived with Mr. Zebra riding in it. Mr. Zebra gets out and puts the letter through the post slot of the door as Mummy Pig comes in with George and Peppa. Mummy Pig reads the letter as we discover that George has been invited to Edmond Elephant's birthday. However; it does not say if Peppa is invited and Peppa takes offense to this and calls it a baby party. Then the phone rings and Mummy Pig answers it. Mummy Pig tells Peppa it's Emily Elephant and Peppa answers the phone. We see Emily in the sitting room filled with balloon and rock music as Emily asks if Peppa wants to come to the party as her friend since Mrs. Elephant needs the big kids to help serve the guests. The little kids everyone. Danny and Suzy are also helping to serve the guest and Peppa accepts the invitation carte-blanche. So, it's time for the party at Emily Elephant's house. I believe this is the first time I have seen the house for Emily as everyone arrives from their cars and heads inside. George, Zuzu, Zaza, Richard come in with presents to greet Edmond as Suzy, Peppa and Danny come in as bodyguards/servers. Shouldn't Rebecca Rabbit also join in; since Richard is also here? And also; where's Zoe Zebra? Mummy Elephant I believe makes her debut here and I have zero idea who voices her. She addresses everyone as we head into the sitting room with the little ones in the middle of the rug; with the big kids on the sides. Peppa brought her boom box, just in case music was needed, even though there was rock music in the background before she came here; so I assume this is Emily's boom box. So, let's play musical statues; which is basically musical chairs without the chairs basically. Now; if you hate crying, you might want to leave this rant right now because this episode I remember for setting the record for the number of times the little ones bawl on cue. Peppa demonstrates the rules of engagement as they are going to play the music of "head & shoulders, knees & toes" remix of doom. Danny Dog looks smugier than me when Nintendo Switch does something awesome. As in Edge smugness. The little kids are so confused that they stay as statues during the beginning of the playing of the song! That was funny.

So, the little kids dance proper and they stop as Zuzu or Zaza blinks and Suzy calls her out; causing her to bawl her eyes out. Next round commences and since George moved his leg slightly after the music stopped; Peppa is on the job and George is out. Crying #2 ensues. This is not Peppa Pig trollish behaviour; this is Joe West MLB umpire level trolling. Richard and Edmond (the one who is having the birthday mind you) blink and look; causing Suzy to call them out as crying #3 and #4 ensues. I discover that Zaza is the winner and she gets the medal. She wears it with pride as it's made of plastic gold and since plastic gold medals are more awesome then real ones, crying #5-#8 ensues. As in all the little kids minus Zaza cry in stereo! Head into the kitchen as Mrs. Elephant is setting up the table for the birthday party. Emily is informing Mrs. Elephant that musical statues is over and the crying continues even into this segment. These people over two years old do not care about defusing this crying at all. And then crying #9 ensues as Zaza, the winner of the event, cries in sympathy for the losers! That's also funny. Mrs. Elephant comes in with a blue parcel out of nowhere and it's time to pass the parcel, which is hot potato; except you win if you get the parcel when the music dies. You rip off the paper when the music dies and you get a prize. I then get my confirmation that this is Emily's boom box because they are playing the rock music I heard earlier in the episode when Emily was talking to Peppa on the phone. George is shaking the parcel and Peppa has to blow him off for doing that. So, the music stops when Edmond gets it and he rips off the paper to get a medal of plastic gold. So, the birthday boy wins on his second try. Some clever clogs, Edmond is. Next medal goes to Richard as he shakes the parcel as Danny and Peppa have to tell him to hurry up before he rips the paper off. Next is George as he rips off the paper and gets a medal; meaning Zuzu is last in this entire thing. Then the music restarts and we get a tug of war between Zuzu and George and George is not playing nice tonight. The music stops; and George rips the parcel from Zuzu's hands and George rips off the paper and gets a second medal. Zuzu becomes #10 and this is her third time she has cried in this episode alone. Peppa then takes the second medal and gives it to Zuzu; and I spotted a logic break: Zaza won the first medal; so it should be Zuzu's medal; but Peppa addresses Zuzu as Zaza.

George bawls as that is #11 in the crying department. So, the round continues as they pass it along for a while as Edmond gets it and the music stops. Edmond rips the paper off as he get the giant panda teddy of doom. HAHA! See; the birthday boy got the last laugh after all. This causes the second foursome in stereo crying moment (#12-#15), so Emily goes back into the kitchen to inform Mummy Elephant that the game of pass the parcel is over. Mummy Elephant tells Emily to bring everyone in because it's time for the actual food and cake to start. So the big kids sit down at the table; like a bunch of trolls. Guess what happens next? There is a world record of bawling to be broken as we get the rare five kids crying in stereo spot. (#16-#20) Yes; there were 20 instances of crying in less than four minutes. They were bawling five times a minute in this episode. So; the big kids get to eat after the little ones as ther big kids defer to the little ones and the big kids serve the guest as a lot of juice is poured in this party, even shocking Danny Dog of all kids. Then the lights grow dim as Edmond Elephant blows out the candles as he is two years old. It's the usual chocolate cake which I bet is homemade. Everyone loves homemade chocolate cake; most so Daddy Pig. I just realized that Emily's house is the pink house on the hill as all the adults arrive in their cars, parking on the steepest sides of the hill, as usual. Everyone gets out of the house as the big kids are all bushed and disappointed. Now; if this show had a clue; the payoff would be Mummy Elephant thanking the big kids for helping and the big kids all bawl in unison in sympathy pain. But of course; outside of Peppa's crying in The Golden Boots, no one over the age of two cries on this show. So, the little kids are bouncing with their party hats and balloons. Danny Dog wants a holiday, Suzy wants to lie down and then everyone laughs to end the episode at 4:30 approx. If you can handle the recording setting bawl feast of this episode, then this episode was fun. *** 1/4 (65%).

The Biggest Muddy Puddle In The World: Here is episode #155 on the animation paper as we head to the house on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as it is raining hard as we head to Peppa's bedroom. Peppa and George are in their beds as Daddy and Mummy Pig are tucking them in for the night. Peppa does not like this rain; but she should because it creates muddy puddles for them to jump in. DING! Daddy Pig then proclaims that you can never have too much rain. So; he's a climate change deinalist. Then the rain really comes down hard and then we jump cut to Peppa's bedroom as a cock crews because it's morning. The sun rises as Peppa and George wake up and gets dressed on screen. They run down the stairs in their boots and head outside as Mrs. Duck is waiting for them. This is a surprise as Peppa wonders why Mrs. Duck is here and then we zoom out to discover that the entire area is flooded with water! So this is what Noah's flood was supposed to look like. I wish Daddy Pig would have said that, but he is too busy acting dumb and diving feet first into the water, thinking that it's a muddy puddle. Even better; Daddy Pig jumped at the door jam of his house and somehow managed to go far enough to splash into the water cannonball style. Awesome! The three ducks are not impressed as Daddy Pig pops up with one of the ducks on top of his head. Daddy Pig comes out with the duck flying back to the water as Mummy Pig wonders about food and Peppa wants to make Daddy Pig swim to the shops. We hear bells and it's Grandpa Pig with Grandma Pig and Polly on Grandpa Pig's tugboat. Polly is simply there to be a shopping list; which is not a good idea I might add. So, anyone who wonders why the houses are built on hills, this flood is the reason why. So, Peppa and George want to join in getting stuff from the shops. Grandpa Pig is happy to grant this request as the kids wear lifejackets; but not the adults...AGAIN! So we sail the flooded region blue for a while as we see all the colored house on the hill in the far shot. Suzy Sheep is swinging on a swing and doesn't gave a damn at all. So much so that she wants chocolate for supper; just to troll Mummy Sheep. HAHA! The old Cat In The Hat spot where the kids ask for permission from their mother off-screen and the mother agrees to it; no matter how absurd and dangerous the decision is. So we sail some more and meet Granddad Dog, Danny Dog, Mr. Zebra, Mr. Rabbit and Mrs. Brown Bear in another rare cameo. Danny of course is the only one wearing a lifejacket. Granddad Dog is resucing people and he needs a newspaper and Danny wants a comic book.

So, both boats leave in opposite directions as Peppa notices a periscope sticking out off the water. Grandpa Pig panics and rings the bell as the submarine comes up and the porthole opens to reveal Grampy Rabbit. So, yes; he finally got his submarine to work without it bringing in water. Grampy Rabbit wants some cheese; but only after being cut off from his story telling, because we don't want him to sing again. So we finally head to the supermarket and dock on the water. And in spite of the fact that the whole area is flooded; Miss Rabbit still went to work and is still at the checkout counter reading EZZA magazine. The grandparents, the kids and Polly come inside and Miss Rabbit proclaims that they are her first customers and blames "a little rain" for making them stay at home. So; she's implying that she never went home last night. Good one, Miss Rabbit; good one. Peppa claims that Polly has the list and Polly completely repeats the clever parrot line over and over again. I'm sorry; but "I'm a noisy parrot" was much funnier and had continuity with the first series. Polly is dumber than Daddy Pig now as Peppa thankfully remembers what was on the list and we head back to the flood as Peppa and company deliver cheese to Grampy Rabbit, newspapers and comics to Danny and Granddad Dog (as Doctor Hamster with Tuttles the Tortoise and Mr. Bull have since hop aboard Granddad Dog's tugboat), chocolate to Suzy Sheep; just to make sure Mummy Sheep is shocked that she was trolled. Night falls as the boat arrives at the house on the hill and Grandpa Pig docks the boat on the island. Peppa and George jump off and the come inside with the parents as the grandparents goes down into the bowels of the boat and that is that. So; jump cut to Polly perching on the flagpole with a twig in it's mouth as the boat is now parked on the steepest side of the hill. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The flood is gone; you see. Peppa and George run out because they are about to find the biggest muddy puddle in this world's storyline! A puddle so big, everyone is here to jump in it to end the episode at 4:30 approx. They promised the biggest muddy puddle and for the most part, they delivered. *** 1/2 (70%).

Opening Moment #1: Snowfall edition of the opening is used in the next two episodes.

Santa's Grotto: Here is the first of a two parter (episodes #156 and #157 on the animation paper) as we head to the house on the hill on a snowy day; so all winter clothes on applies outside. Peppa and George run out the back door as Daddy Pig walks out and asks the kids if they want to go to the grotto to see Father Christmas. You can tell that the title was localized for international markets since Daddy Pig still refers to Santa as Father Christmas. Peppa asks if they are going to the North Pole; and Daddy Pig states that they are not going that far. Peppa doesn't understand this because Santa lives at the North Pole; but Daddy Pig tells Peppa that Father Christmas has a grotto at the Christmas fair. So we head to the fair at the fair on the hill as the Helter Seltker is back, along with the Big Wheel. There is a train to nowhere in the foreground. Mr. Sexist Labo mans the duck hooking pond game, like pond scum. Guess who is running the train to nowhere? Take a guess, it's too shocking! Surprise! It's Antonio Inoki~! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...It's Miss Rabbit, of course. Basically, all of the kids are here in the mine carts, except for Simon, Belinda, Delphine and Didler. Peppa greets everyone and they greet back as Peppa and George get in. Miss Rabbit calls this train, the elf train as we head towards the grotto with all the parents following. So Peppa and friend exchange notes for a long ass whomping time. Peppa wants an animated doll and Suzy wants that too, because she has no idea what to ask Father Christmas. So, then they exchange notes on Father Christmas as Pedro claims that he has a super sleigh as he's older than Daddy Pig. Also true. So we head to the end of the line and the grotto is basically a one room loghouse. Sigh; I was expecting more. We head inside; and it's clearly Father Christmas because he is only one of two humans on the show and he's clearly human here. It's also Christmas Eve day according to the calender in the background as the kids all meet and greet Father Christmas sitting in his chair. FC is voiced by the same guy who voiced Grandpa Pig and the narrator from Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom. So we do Q&A for a while; I cannot believe Peppa has been 75% good this year. Suzy and Peppa do not respond to the bedroom tidy question and Suzy ask if he has and FC says yes. Nice try, Suzy; your attempt to make FC look hypocritical has failed. So, everyone steps up to tell Santa what they want for Christmas. The most notable toy is Edmond Elephant; because he wants a REAL train; not a toy train with actual passengers because he wants to be a conductor. FC says he'll see what he can do, which usually means that it's not going to happen. Edmond don't care and bails stage left as Peppa and Suzy come in. Peppa blurts out that she and FC met before and FC admits to it; and Suzy just stands there like she believes everything Peppa says. WHAT?!

So, Peppa and Suzy want the animated doll as FC writes down in his book of children's things. More Q&A ensues as the kids finally leave and FC tells them to leave a mince pie and a drink (Suzy cuts Santa off; right there; which is kind of brilliant since the drink is a nip of sherry; which is alcohol.); while Peppa will leave carrots for the reindeer. Which is fine; even though it's not a natural part of the habitat. Santa hos and then we head on the snowy road west with the Pig family in their car going westward. Peppa then notices that they have luggage in front of them as Daddy Pig proclaims that they are spending the Christmas with the grandparents. Which is all well and good; except Peppa is not happy about this because how will Father Christmas know where they are. Daddy Pig tells them not to worry about it; because Father Christmas is smart. I betcha he doesn't have a clue. So we head to the white house on the hill as the car is parked on the steepest side of the hill. Everyone gets out as Grandpa, Grandma and Polly are at the front door. So; the kids head into the kitchen because they are going to stir the Christmas pudding and make a wish. George wishes for the racing car as Grandma Pig panics because you are not suppose to blurt out your wish of course. Head into the sitting room as the lights are dim and there is the Christmas tree present. So Grandpa, George and Peppa leave a carrot, mince pie and a nip of sherry in a tray on the floor in front of the fireplace. So, the doorbell rings and Grandpa Pig is already protesting this outrage, so you know it is HAPPY HOUR. Guess what happens at HAPPY HOUR on Christmas Eve? We get the carolling spot from Madame Gazelle, Mrs. Cow, Mummy Pony, Mr, Rabbit, Mr. Bull (on tuba of course), Pedro, Emily, Freddy and Candy. Grandma Pig doesn't seem to mind this and then Grandpa Pig decides to clap and pop for it anyway. Polly does nothing of course as it's now after HAPPY HOUR and Peppa and George are sleeping in the bed Mummy Pig slept when she was a little piggie. It's snowing and that buries the car outside as Mummy Pig assures Peppa that FC will come here and the kids are tucked in for the night and everyone falls asleep as we head outside to end part one at 4:30 approx. Well; this wasn't all as good as the Christmas special from Series one. ** 3/4 (55%).

Santa's Visit: Last up for Series Three is the bottom half of the two parter as we head to the white house on the hill as the snow is still really coming down, and it's early into Christmas morning. Cut to inside Mummy Pig's bedrom as Peppa and George are sleeping in the bed and the stocking are already filled with gifts from Father Christmas. Peppa and George wake up and check their stocking to find comic books; bubble mixture (and they blow bubbles from said mixture) and tangerines that clearly look like oranges. Head to Daddy Pig's bedroom as Mummy and Daddy Pig are sharing a bed, sleeping. The lights turn on and there are little piggies bouncing on the bed! HAHA! Saw that coming a mile away and still laughed at it. Daddy and Mummy protest this outrage and Mummy Pig claims that it's too early. Daddy Pig wants Peppa and George to do the exact same thing to Grandma and Grandpa Pig that they just did to Mummy and Daddy Pig. And that's exactly what happens! HAHA! And who says Daddy Pig can never be a troll? Grandma Pig screams and frowns; while Grandpa Pig panics like mad. It's 3 am in the morning and Peppa wants to see if Santa is still here; and Grandpa Pig decides to look in the sitting room and there is no FC, and the nip of sherry, mince pie and carrot have been clearly eaten. FC is also a messy eater and leaves crumbs. Oh; and there are big presents under the tree as seen at the Christmas tree. Grandma Pig enters as Peppa wants to open the presents; but Grandma Pig wants to do Christmas Lunch beforehand. So we head for Christmas lunch in the dining room as there is holly everywhere and Polly is handing on top of Grandpa Pig's hat. They pull on the crackers which are conveniently placed on the table as stuff comes out, including colored tissue paper hats and party blowers (Party trumpets with feathers in Britian) as a lot of blowing goes on. Oh; and there are stupid jokes on paper and Daddy Pig reads one. The joke sucks by the way; but no one in storyline cares. George has already taken some bites from the pudding; because he already has it on his face. We exchange notes on the pudding and Peppa teases revealing her wish; but Mummy Pig cuts her off and they all giggle. So yes; this pudding was the actual lunch as it's now time to open presents. So, everyone goes into the sitting room as we start opening the presents. George got the red racing car model. It comes in blue and red cars with a round track. Daddy Pig of course has to read the instructions and they are more complex than a TaleSpin episode; but Grandpa Pig has figured it out. I betcha he had a book on how electric car track sets work in his library at the shed. Of course, the two adults are now racing George's race cars and enjoying themselves far more than George is supposed to. Oh wait; George loves racing in the box; so we have a future Nintendo Labo fan in the works.

The women of this outfit are instantly amused by both these visuals. I expected this out of George, since he loves dinosaurs more than racing cars. All the adults got for presents is a pair of socks. One pair of socks though. Polly gets nothing; but to repeat the word, socks. I'm a clever sock. I'm a NOISY SOCK~! SNORT~! So, there is one last present left and Peppa thinks it's for her as she wanted an animated doll. She opens the present and it's a box of...bird seed? Oh wait a second; I get it. Peppa's present box must be in this box which would be a brilliant booking decision as Santa has trolled Peppa Pig like a lot of parents do to create suspense for the kid when he opens the present. Peppa would be disappointed, get a phone call from Suzy as Suzy got her present and then Peppa leaves her hanging again, then Santa comes down the chimney and informs Peppa that the present is inside the bird seed box. That would be a perfect, funny and trollish finish all in one. The problem is: The present is not a troll move by Father Christmas. The present is legit bird seed for Polly. Father Christmas has screwed up and Peppa has been screwed as a result. So, yes; Santa brainfarted big time and Suzy cannot help; but rub it in since she got her animated doll. Peppa is sulking and thinks Santa has forgotten. So we get a sequence with Santa riding his reindeer and then he notices in the bottom of his sack, Peppa's present. So we head back to the fireplace as Peppa continues to sulk in defeat as Peppa thinks she might have been too naughty; but wait! Here comes FC down the chimney into the fireplace with Peppa's present. Everyone except Peppa and George are shocked and appalled; because the adults have been keeping a facade that Santa was not real; but this is a world that is not real in this reality, so FC is more real in that storyline than it is in this reality. So; Peppa opens her belated present as FC is offered pudding and Peppa's wish was for Santa to visit her on Christmas Day. In comes the car model racing track via teleport on the zoom out. Santa hos and everyone does the backsplash laugh except for Santa and Peppa to end the episode and Series 3 at 4:30 approx. Damn; I wanted to see Santa do the backsplash laugh. Maybe they'll find a way in Series 5 and it involves a muddy puddle. That would also be a funny visual. This was a better half of a Christmas episode; although my booking suggestion would have made this even better. *** (60%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; Gym Class was very good because Grampy Rabbit is so much better at believable BS stories than Monty ever was; although his dinosaur story was not believable at all. I still laughed at it though, so good gym class overall. The remainder of the episodes are mostly fine, although Edmond Elephant's birthday was a crying fest, literally. So, that ends Series 3 and 157 episodes are completed. Next up is Series 4 and believe it or not; this will be much shorter since most of the DVD episodes were from Series 4. There is only 22 episodes left to do and this series features some of the most cheeky moments in the entire series. For better and for worse. From Britian being on the slide, to The Baked Beans Song, to Madame Gazelle leaving "forever", to Gerald Graffe's debut and of course, the shocking fact of Madame Gazelle that left everyone speechless. The fun is almost over (until I can find good videos of Series 5 of course; which feature Daddy Pig's ultimate brainfart) and I feel sad; but we must move on. So...

Thumbs up for Gym Class, thumbs in the middle for everything else and I'll see you all next time.

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