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Peppa Pig: Series Four #1 Rant

Reviewed: 04/28/2018

Pedro Pony: Baked Bean Singing, Ugly American Cowboy Music Thief!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Okay; so we head back to Series four as we start the next seven episodes of the Harley Bird era as the gloves are finally off of this show and it turns from just a normal pre-school show into a legendary pre-school show. So; how do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Naughty Tortoise: So, we begin with episode #162 on the animation paper and the episode opens in the forest of fallen leaves; because it's the fall season. Peppa, Suzy, Danny, Emily, Zoe, Rebecca and Pedro are running in their winter clothes. Since there are no muddy puddles around, they jump in the leaves instead. Suddenly; Tiddles walks slowly towards the kids; because he's a tortoise, dammit! In comes Doctor Hamster with the box of straw because Tiddles is cheeky and Doctor Hamster is much slower in the head than Pedro. At least Pedro is a four year old and has that excuse going for him; Doctor Hamster is a grown up person. Doctor Hamster puts Tiddles in his box as it's bedtime because tortoises hibernate in the winter time. Apparently; this tortoise has criminal disregard for his health. Pedro just has to remind us that he loves sleeping. Oh; and Tiddles has opens the box and escaped up a tree...AGAIN! Doctor Hamster is still clueless about tortoises climbing trees as Peppa wonders how to get Tiddles to come down. And Suzy responds by proclaiming "Chop the damn tree down!" (paraphrasing here). HAHA! Doctor Hamster rightfully blows her off for that one, in the same manner George no sells deals. If this were not a pre-school show, Suzy's suggestion would be the finish and Tiddles jumps down into Doctor Hamster's arms before it happens. Doctor Hamster brings out the cell-phone because it's time to ring in the Mummies Fire Brigade~! This time, Mrs. Cow and Mrs. Elephant have joined the brigade since the last time we saw this as they are having tea. Apparently; the rest of the brigade is on duty as they take the phone call and really surprised that this is happening...AGAIN! So the fire truck comes out of the station; we get sirens on as the truck makes it to the tree in question. Mrs. Elephant takes over the ladder and brings it out as Mrs. Cow climbs onto the ladder; but Tiddles climbs higher and higher. Mrs. Cow calls Tiddle a pickle; and then grabs onto the tree; because Mrs. Cow is apparently, more afraid of heights than Daddy Pig ever was. Mrs. Elephant than climbs the tree and she is afraid of heights as Tiddles continues to climb higher. Of course! So, Doctor Hamster sighs as Suzy wants to chop the tree down! AGAIN! She get blown off for that! AGAIN!

So, Doctor Hamster rings in the next rescue service, which is Granddad Dog and his breakdown truck on the boring road right now. He answers his phone and of course he realizes that this has happened before; but still comes in as he ponders what to do and Suzy wants to chop the tree down and Granddad Dog agrees with her, bringing out an out of nowhere axe, causing everyone to panic. At least Granddad Dog understands the definition of insanity; too bad, it's apathy that he needs to understand more of. Sadly; it also means Granddad Dog has to define insanity and climb the tree. And he's now stuck. Idiot! Suzy is clearly a manaic who loves seeing trees come down; but Doctor Hamster no sells because she is going to ring in Miss Rabbt's helicopter service, the highest rescue service in the land. Boy; I hope Doctor Hamster has a lot of insurance for this as Miss Rabbit arrives in her helicopter and brings out the rope ladder; but forgets to put the auto-pilot on. Of course! Thankfully; Granddad Dog reminds her and Miss Rabbit goes back into the helicopter and turns the auto-pilot. You can tell they did this to pad the running time of this episode; simply because the auto-pilot has a robot voice telling her that the auto-pilot is on and to have a nice day. So, Miss Rabbit comes back down on the rope ladder and grabs Tiddles, calling it a little rascal. Just like that! Miss Rabbit buried everyone in that tree, including Tiddles! Miss Rabbit lands on the ground and gives Tiddles back to Doctor Hamster. The kids pop as Doctor Hamster thanks Miss Rabbit; and Miss Rabbit responds and calls Doctor Hamster, Mom. Wait; what?! So, Doctor Hamster's first name is Mom? Really, show? Everyone else climbs from the ladder; so they stopped selling their fear of heights. Miss Rabbit simply walks away from her helicopter; until one of the adults tells her that she might have forgotten something. Miss Rabbit turns around; realizes the helicopter is still there and goes up the ladder and into the helicopter; and flies away stage left. So she buried everyone, and I do mean everyone now! Doctor Hamster calls Tiddles naughty in a speak for yourself moment and Tiddles finally yawns and goes to sleep, hopefully awaking with a new owner who has a clue. Tiddles is put in the box to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Can we now hold hearings on Doctor Hamster's vet license since she doesn't understand that tortoises do in fact climb trees? She's costing the rescue services a lot more time and money than Daddy Pig ever did. ** 3/4 (55%).

International Day: Next up is episode #165 on the animation paper as we head to the school house on the hill and inside playgroup. Oh dear; where do I start with this pain?! Okay. Problem #1: Why are the kids dressed up like stereotypes? Listen, unless they come from that country, or their parents have come from said country, it's typically considered bigoted to dress up like that. You can pin the flag of their country to their shirts and go from there, it's okay. That's stupidity moment #1. Although, Pedro sort of gets a free pass because as I discover in a later episode, Pedro might be a transplated American, or his parent were Americans. Problem #2: Peppa represents France. Why? Why not have Delphine represent France, since she lives in France and have a neat cameo? If I was booking this; Peppa would be British and George would be Canadian. Why is George Russian in this setup is just as big of a question? Problem #3: Madame Gazelle begins her promo be saying that we are celebrating all the countries of the world. Now; I don't expect them to celebrate over 200+ countries and terrorities because they don't have enough time to give everyone a proper tribute. But; here are the kids and the countries that they represent:

[1.] Peppa Pig - France [2.] George Pig - Russia [3.] Suzy Sheep - The Netherlands [4.] Danny Dog - Mexico [5.] Pedro F'N Pony - United States Of America [6.] Rebecca Rabbit - Germany [7.] Richard Rabbit - Spain [8.] Candy Cat - Switzerland [9.] Emily Elephant - South Africa [10.] Edmond Elephant - Greece [11.] Zoe Zebra - Japan [12.] Wendy Wolf - Australia [13.] Freddy Fox - United Kingdom [14.] Madame Gazelle - Romania (I'll explain why that is the case in a future rant.) [15.] Leftover flags: Poland, Italy. (Sadly, Gabriella Goat didn't make her debut until thirty episodes after this. I'm guessing Gerald would represent Poland. Or maybe even Molly Mole in Series 5.)

So, that makes seventeen countries. Yes; in this reality, there are only 17 countries in the world. Oh; and Canada is not one of them! One of the top ten countries and Canada is not one of them. That's a load of bullcrap! Even if you are an Euro-centered white male writer; at least add Norway or Canada or even Iceland~! Also, only one African country? I remember doing an international day and Kenya was one of the countries I represented when I was a kid at school. Only one country from Asia? No South American countries? Even the Nintendo Switch has developers from South America! Mexico is North American by the way. I can understand Antartica not being on the list; although Pedro picking that country would be much funnier. More on Pedro Pony as this episode moves on because I have another problem with this episode. By the way; the Netherlands is called Holland in this show as Suzy says hello in Dutch. Suzy thinks it's hello; but it's hallo. Not much of a difference, but still. Problem #3: Holland is only a part of the Netherlands and some people outside of the Holland region don't exactly take too kindly to that. Sort of like people outside of Halifax not liking the region being called the HRM for instance. Apparently; all countries do is sing the song of harmony of each other. Which is carny talk for: you co-exist with each other. So, we sing the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM, and while I like the song, it's so hilariously naive in hindsight, especially for what is to come. So, Madame Gazelle finishes the song and informs everyone that they'll be singing this to their parents. Okay. So everyone goes to the playground, which has become one of the best playgrounds I have ever seen. There is one thing awesome about this episode: The narrator knew this episode was going to be crap; and he held little back in this one. Narrator moment #1: Freddy gets on the slide and the narrator basically proclaims that the United Kingdom is on the slide. This joke is before Brexit was even a thing and it's even funnier now than it was back when the episode aired. The only way this could have been funnier is if Pedro was on the slide.

Don't worry Pedro haters; you're going to hate him soon enough. Peppa and Candy are on the swings, and Rebecca is playing hopstoch. In the sandpit are Pedro, Richard, Edmond and George. Okay; here comes Problem #4: Pedro represents America, and he is a cowboy stereotype. That in itself is not bad until you realize that the stereotype Pedro is about to play is that of an ugly American. Now; ironically George being Russian makes sense now in this setup on itself; but the reason I wanted him to be Canadian and Peppa be British is that Canada's roots are from Great Britian and Canada is considered a major international player on the world stage. In this setup, Richard is Spain and Edmond is Greece, whom no longer are major international players. I would have George be Canadian, Edmond be Russian and Richard be China; because those are the major players against America, just like America. Suzy and Zoe come in and they are reasonable in their request to play in the sandpit; as Pedro is whining and the little ones bawl their eyes out. Narrator moment #2: As this is going on, the narrator proclaims that there is not enough in the sandpit for more than four countries. That was legit funny. Dammit; this is suppose to be the worst episode of the series and the narrator is making sure that this episode grows on me. Emily and Peppa come in and I cannot buy Peppa as a peacemaker; I really cannot. Emily on the other hand... So the kids bicker like gangbusters and in a way, this did in fact make sense since countries do in fact bicker, so there is some grounding in reality; but this is a cartoon, so this is still stupid either way. Just because it's reality doesn't mean it's not stupid. I love how Peppa calls George little despite representing one of the biggest countries in the world. Freddy comes in to blow the whistle; and then everyone bickers...AGAIN! This is so stupid; and the costume wearing is just making this look a lot more offensive than it should be. Jump cut to Madame Gazelle playing guitar and singing in the school house as she hears all the yelling. She comes out and claims that the countries are fighting. Nope; they are yelling at each other, which isn't much better. Being accurate in reporting matters, Madame Gazelle; it's a moral imperative.

And everyone is out of the sandbox as Candy Cat is the only one who wants them to stop arguing and all that does is allow Peppa to really troll Suzy badly. Peppa is such a hypocrite by the way as more bickering ensues and Madame Gazelle finally tells them to sod off with this realism. Because we are doing this peace and harmony thing as an ideal for the adults of the world; not trying to prove that their reality is correct. I wish Madame Gazelle had just said that instead of asking them if this is how the countries of the world act. The answer is yes, Madame Gazelle (she said no, which is a lie). It doesn't make it right; but what I said is true. Facts matter, especially if you want to solve this bickering. I wish Peppa would just say yes because this would be one of the few times where her trolling would be based on reality and nor her idealism. The kids all apologize, which is fine because it still ain't right. In comes Mummy Rabbit, Mummy Dog, Daddy Pig, Mummy Elephant, Mr. Fox, Mummy Wolf, Mummy Sheep, Mummy Pony and Mr. Zebra. Mummy Pig must be typing coded letters in her office today. Daddy Pig asks if everything is all right and Madame Gazelle has the lying teeth smile on full blast as she says it's not too bad. In a way; she's right. There was bickering and tears; but no violence or even rage, which is an average day in the United Nations actually. So; Madame Gazelle brings out the guitar and we sing the Day of Harmony song again as there is a lot of swaying and eye balling each other. The song ends and the parents pop for it. Daddy Pig loves this togetherness as the kids giggle on cue and we get the narrator saying that the kids love singing the song of harmony. Narrator moment #3: All the countries of the world love to sing the song of harmony. That is the biggest load of bull from the narrator and so absurd that I was laughing my ass off. Most of the countries are singing something all right; singing more in the lines of death heavy metal and other such dark and violent music. This finally ends the episode at 4:30 approx. You know what; I take back everything I said about this episode being the worst of the series: It's bad, but it was hilariously stupid instead of being offensively stupid like I was expecting this to be. Pedro's act was there; but it was subtle that it didn't kill his character off like I thought it would when I saw the clips to this. Call it ** (40%), because hell, I'm generous. The narrator and some of the booking saved this from a certain DUD bordering on negative stars.

Mummy Rabbit's Bump: This is episode #167 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the house on the hill as Peppa, George, Suzy and Pedro F'N Pony are jumping up and down giggling. So, here comes Mr. Rabbit with Mummy Rabbit, Rebecca Rabbit and Richard Rabbit as they jump out of the car. Rebecca and Richard come over and Rebecca has an earth-shattering secret to tell us...and if you live in an area where the Moral Guardians live and get easily triggered...then we got trouble because, you see; Mummy Rabbit has a bump on her tummy. This is in poor taste, but the first question I would ask is: "Does she have stomach cancer?"; although Rebecca Rabbit wouldn't know. So, Peppa does the next poorest taste thing: Ask if she is eating anything weird. Rebecca says no, which means only one thing: Mummy Rabbit is about to have a third child (at least; you'll find out later) really soon. Peppa also is allowed to listen to Mummy's tummy and we hear heartbeats dubbed into the audio tracks. Apparently; this bunny rabbit somehow knows Peppa is a troll and gives a kick to back up Peppa. HAHA! Pedro asks who the baby's name is and Mummy Rabbit has not decided on that, as Mummy Pig comes outside and asks if Mummy Rabbit wants some coffee. That's really odd. Mummy Rabbit says no; but she is hungry so Mummy Pig asks if she wants a carrot and Mummy Rabbit says no. She wants potatoes with jelly, strawberry jam and cheese. I stand corrected. Potatoes and cheese aren't odd; but jelly and strawberry jam on top? Mummy Rabbit does have a quirky sense of taste. I cannot find a potatoes with jelly and/or jam and cheese recipe; but there is a Potato Peanut Butter & Jelly Candy recipe on-line though. The kids are all yuck on this and the narrator calls this a funny mixture of food while being shocked all at the same time. So, we waste a lot of time with the kids coming up with baby names as Mummy Pig and Mummy Rabbit go inside with Mr. Rabbit. Possible names: Rachel Rabbit, Ruth Rabbit (Paging Doctor Ruth, paging Doctor Ruth!!), Roxanne Rabbit.

Pedro Pony thinks these RR names are boring; so he wants the rabbit family to go the George Pig route and name her Sharon Rabbit. How about Kit Rabbit? Then you don't have to worry about gender. The kids blow Pedro off; so Rebecca wants Rosie Rabbit and blushes, because why not? Pedro then asks if the baby is a boy. Better question; what if the baby is trans-gender? I would love to see them twist themselves in knots over that, even if they are kids. The boy names: Rufus Rabbit, Raymond Rabbit, and Pedro chooses Michael Rabbit. HAHA! Pedro gets blown off as Rebecca chooses Robbie Rabbit. Of course! Out of the house comes Mummy Pig, Mummy Rabbit and Mr. Rabbit as Mummy Rabbit's tummy is kicking violently this time. Mr. Rabbit thinks it's the food and Mummy Rabbit tells him no, it's the baby. Also; Peppa says that the baby can't have both names. Are you sure about that? Changing your name is possible, Peppa; although the baby would have to wait until the baby reached the age of informed consent. So Mr. Rabbit panics; which is hilarious when he tells everyone to not panic as the Rabbit family gets into the car and races far past the speed limit onto the boring road since the ears are whipping in the wind. Mummy Rabbit asks Mr. Rabbit if everything is packed on the list and here is what the list contains: pillows, scented candles, yoga music, and enough food for three days. I have been to hospital and the only thing I had was my Nintendo 3DS and even that was taken home everytime my family. 65 days everyone. So we park on the steepest side of the hill next to the hospital and Mr. Rabbit just proves how hypocritical he is. Stop panicking, Mr. Rabbit~! The nurse comes outside. Guess who is the nurse? Miss Rabbit! I know this because Miss Rabbit addresses Mummy Rabbit as her sister. Miss Rabbit also forgets that Mummy Rabbit is having a baby as we head inside; but Mr. Bull (and you thought Miss Rabbit was the only one with the multiple jobs gimmick) cuts off Mr. Rabbit because he has to park the car in the parking lot. But baby making is a long process. No crap, Sherlock!

So, Mummy Rabbit and family are inside as Miss Rabbit just has to announce to everyone that Mummy Rabbit is having a baby. Jump cut to Mr. Rabbit unpacking the back of the car, which also includes towels and a kettle. Of course! Jump cut to Mr. Rabbit running in with the stuff as we are now in Mummy Rabbit's hospital room as Mummy Rabbit is in bed and she tells him to put everything back, because the "baby" is already born. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I realize that this is partly as a result of the fast pacing of the show since the episodes are less than five minutes long; but even with the jump cuts; by god, that was fast! Even funnier; Mr. Rabbit drops his stuff and asks if it's a boy or girl, and it's both because she got twins of different sexes. We see the boy and girl baby rabbits tucked in the towels and they are bawling their eyes out seconds into their official debut, which is fine, because they are new born babies. They cannot help; but cry. The family is so happy that we jump cut to the family on top of their house with the baby buggy containing the new borns. This is fine in itself; but the narrator says that this is literally the next morning. Wait, what?! The average hospital stay is 48-96 hours; but the narrator makes it like it's 12 hours. In Great Britian; it's 36 hours at least. You couldn't redub this line? So, Peppa, George, Suzy and Pedro arrive to see the kids as Suzy asks about gender and we exchange notes as Rosie and Robbie are name that are used. Peppa calls them the best names in the world. According to the Guardian: Rosie was ranked #48 and Robbie didn't even place in the top 100. Robert was #96 at the time. Harry was #1 for boys and Amelia was #1 for girls. In 2017; Rosie was #36, Robbie didn't even place in the top 100; and neither did Robert. Oliver and Olivia were #1 by the way. So, yeah; Peppa hates statstics. Peppa and the kids take credit for this and they laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. I loved this episode by the way; stupid ending aside. **** 1/4 (85%).

Pedro The Cowboy: Next up is episode #168 on the animation paper as the title gets a western motif makeover and we open the episode at the western house on the hill which contains a tent in the backyard. Out of the tent comes Pedro F'N Pony in his cowboy outfit. It's his new tent by the way as in comes from the eastern front: Peppa, George, Suzy, Danny and Wendy Wolf. Pedro meets and greets; doing the most awkward cowboy gimmick I have ever seen out of a child. Pedro calls this a cowboy camp and Suzy calls this a tent. Pedro don't care, it's a cowboy camp. At least cowboy camp fits Pedro's gimmick; so whatever, Suzy. Peppa asks if he is going to sleep in the tent and Pedro says no, because he's a cowardly cowboy. Why does that not surprise me? Of course; Pedro has to convince everyone that the sun is the moon and they all agree, because why not? So, Peppa asks if they can be cowboys and Pedro says yes calling them his partners and they all sit down right on the cue when Mummy Pony opens the door. Pedro cannot do cowboy speak to save his life nor his brain. The other kids do it lots better as Mummy Pony walks back into the house. Wendy asks about if all cowboys do their camping next to the kitchen and Pedro denies it, of course. Pedro wants them to pretend that this is the wild west; so Pedro wants kids to suspend their disbelief, even though they aren't supposed to be able to in the first place. So, Pedro explains the scrubbed up version of the wild west, and I mean; really scrubbed for pre-schoolers. Pedro claims that all cowboys do is sing songs, tell BS stories and eat beans on toast. Which is the snack Mummy Pony gives on a plate when she returns from the kitchen. Sod off narrator; not everyone loves beans on toast, especially me! So, after messing up their faces and it magically comes off via the magic of a jump cut; Pedro gets up with the out of nowhere guitar because he is going to sing a song... Okay; I'm crying again. I am sobbing with laughter watching this: Pedro Pony's song is called the Baked Bean Song. Okay, fine. So he plays his guitar and sings the Baked Bean Song; and if you have watched this show regularly, then the music he plays on the guitar should be familiar to you.

Yes folks; he's basically singing the Bing Bong Song (complete with karaoke); only with a Baked Bean motif to it. He stole Madame Gazelle's song and then perverted it into a western. Screw you, Pedro, just screw you, you vile ugly American clueless cowboy wearing thief~! Kids giggle because they are too young to understand copyright law much less cowboy law (which is lawless by the way) and so everyone into the tent for the story of doom! Now, Pedro is trying to avoid infringement in his storytelling after infringing heavily on Madame Gazelle earlier as Suzy is confused; but Wendy thankfully cleared up any confusion. Of course, this has to have Pedro as the star, probably the only time Peppa would let Pedro get away with it; since Pedro's storytelling is marginally better than his cowboy speaking skills. Hint: Peppa is literally filling the blanks to cue in for Pedro. Then we hear flapping and Suzy panics; which causes everyone to scream and go outside the tent. Oh wait, it's the seed eating brown bird of doom. The brown bird tweets and flies away stage left as Pedro calls it an eagle; so Pedro apparently was born in America, or his parents at least were. Surprisely; Pedro's playing the role of ugly American more than his parents. Speaking of one of the parents, out comes Mummy Pony to inform everyone that it's home time. Pedro whines because they haven't done the pretend sleeping yet. HAHA! So, everyone except Mummy Pony gets into the tent! Pretend sleeping is in progress as then we hear a wolf howl and everyone is hanging on Pedro Pony, scared and panicky...and then Wendy stops selling because we cut to outside as Mr. Wolf is outside howling at the moon in his car. HAHA! All the parents come in because it's HAPPY HOUR and they pick up all the kids. Mummy Pony asks Pedro if he wants to come in and Pedro wants to pretend sleep a little longer. Mummy Pony is fine with this as Pedro gets in the tent. An owl perches on the tent and hoots. Literally six seconds after Pedro got into the tent, Pedro gets out of the tent and wants to come in as Mummy Pony opens the door while he's saying this. Mummy saw this coming a mile away. Also funny. So Pedro comes inside and turns off the lights in his bedroom to end the episode at 4:30 approx. The ED credits do the theme song with a western themed guitar solo and that was also funny. This is one of the funniest episodes of the series and one of the best Pedro Pony episodes ever. **** 1/2 (90%).

Peppa & George's Garden: Here is episode #169 on the animation paper as we open the episode on the house on the hill with Daddy Pig wearing a hat sitting on a lawn chair reading the newspaper. Which is not doing nothing...AND THE ROCKS SAYS NOTHING~! Daddy Pig still thinks that reading the newspaper is doing nothing and then he bails into the house because he wants some tea. I hope it's iced tea; hot tea doesn't sound like a good idea in this weather. In comes Grandpa Pig on a bicycle with a pail in front containing packets of seeds. Out from the front door comes Peppa and George as George is still calling him Papa Ig even in series four. So, Grandpa Pig shows off the packet of seeds as he is going to help the two kids have their own flower garden in the backyard. So, Grandpa Pig decides to troll Daddy Pig, by having the flower garden in the exact same spot where Daddy Pig sits around and does "nothing". Daddy Pig comes out seconds later with tea and he's not amused by this. And just to be a dick, Grandpa Pig drinks Daddy Pig's tea as well. Daddy Pig is not thrilled at all about his spot being replaced with a flower garden. If this were a veggie garden; then Grandpa Pig's "there are more important things than chairs" would hold some merit. Unless Peppa and George are eating or making perfume from the flowers, than the chair would be more important than the flower garden. Not much more; but still. So, Peppa dumps seeds (which are less important than newspapers no matter what Peppa says. At least newspapers inform you, seeds just grow into flowers) and there are lots of them. George dumps exactly one sunflower seeds; but the seed is big. Sunflower seeds are not as big as small eggs, show. George don't care anyway. So, Grandpa Pig gives Daddy Pig sprinkling cans; and Daddy Pig decides to relent and go into the house. After he goes inside; here come the brown birds right on cue. The two birds start eating seeds, Peppa Pig tries to shoo them; but the birds turn on Peppa and no sell the deal.

Out comes Daddy Pig with the watering cans and since he's in the pose of a scarecrow, the bird panic and fly away. So, birds are afraid of T-poses and curfixes. So, a simple cross would do. Of course! Mummy Pig calls for the kids to come up for a bath and Peppa wants Daddy Pig to take over and Daddy Pig is fine with this. Grandpa Pig walks away stage right and is coming back tomorrow. Of course; naughty cheeky Daddy Pig puts up the lawn chair and sits down doing nothing of note. Of course! The brown birds come back as Peppa notices from a window that Daddy Pig is lazy. She calls Daddy Pig out on it and Daddy Pig has to shoo the birds away and stay as a statue until the birds go to bed. Daddy Pig agrees to be like Jesus without a stick on it's back and it's now HAPPY HOUR. Daddy Pig goes into the house and that is that. Jump cut to Peppa's room as Peppa and George are sleeping in their bedroom. The morning sun arises as a cock is crowing. Peppa and George gets up, change off-screen and check as the plants are growing nicely; Grandpa Pig shows up here. Grandpa Pig then notices a snail and panics. So, Peppa grabs the snail and names it Barbara and wants Grandpa Pig to take care of Barbara. Grandpa Pig relucently agrees to and Grandpa Pig is saying it like he is going to kill her. That is distressing. Jump cut to Mummy Pig, George Pig and Peppa Pig eating cereal at the kitchen table. The narrator informs us that it's one week narrator and sadly, the Spongebob narrator is still better at this spot. Daddy Pig calls for Peppa and George to come out and they do. We see Peppa's flowers are blooming and the animators had to literally make the sunflower disappear in order to surprise us into believing that George's sunflower is as high as a house. Sunflowers typically are 9-12 feet; so they do grow high; but not as high as Daddy Pig's house! So, this seed clearly came from Jack from Jack & The Beanstalk. In comes Grandpa Pig with his shovel as he is here to grow a veggie garden. DING! So, Daddy Pig has no excuses this time as Grandpa Pig trolls Daddy again! However; Daddy Pig loves potatoes and everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. See, Grandpa Pig wanted to test out the soil with the flowers before digging up the veggie garden. And, by the way; it's not like the Jack & The Beanstalk jokes were of my doing, even Peppa was referencing it during this episode. Episode was cute and fun. *** 1/4 (65%).

The Flying Vet: Here is episode #170 on the animation paper as we head to the vet office on the hill to open this episode. Zoom into Doctor Hamster's office as Peppa, George and Mummy Pig are with Doctor Hamster at the table looking at Goldie the goldfish in his bowl on said table. Goldie is getting a check-up. Goldie is fine and Tiddles is in some bowl on the floor; probably scheming the perfect timing to escape from DH and climb another tree and give Suzy lumberjack fetish tendencies. Phone rings and I also love that the phones in this show are rotary style despite clearly showing cellphones in other shots. So, DH answers the phone and it's Doctor Elephant, Mrs. Elephant, Emily and Edmond in the mountains on top of a hill surrounding what appears to be a green gecko laying on his back; as if the gecko got pinned in a wrestling match. Doctor Elephant calls it a lizard; but Edmond agrees with me because he is a clever clogs. DH proclaims that she'll come straight away as Peppa wants to observe this. Doctor Hamster is fine with this as everyone walks out the front door; as Peppa wonders if they are going into the ambulance and DH says no, because she is a flying vet and has her own aeroplane. They are clearly rebuilding DH after Miss Rabbit buried her creditibility deep within the ground in Naughty Tortoise. George loves aeroplanes and probably watches TaleSpin on a regular basis, along with Thomas The Tank Engine and The Land Before Time movies. Everyone gets in as the kids and Mummy Pig are in awe. The plane flies high in the sky as Doctor Hamster is the "Flying Vet". So; cut back to the elephant family on the hill with the pinned lizard as the plane lands on the bottom of the hill (why no one parks their cars there is a mystery to me) and everyone comes up as the dignosis seems to be Wrestling Syndrome~! The treatment: put the gecko on it's feet; which Doctor Hamster does and the gecko is all good now. Everyone pops on cue as the cell phone rings again. DH answers the phone and it's Grandpa Pig on his cell phone at sea with Polly, who looks to be sea sick and the swaying is doing no one any favors here. Doctor Hamster decides to come straight away as the kids and Mummy Pig go back into the plane and they fly around the ocean. Peppa asks how they are going to land and DH points out that this is a seaplane and the sea is where they land. Peppa is in awe of this as the seaplane bounces on the water and lands behind Grandpa Pig's boat.

Grandpa actually notices Peppa and George; which is funny considering that Granddad Dog didn't even know Danny Dog was even there in Naughty Tortoise. So, DH looks at Polly for five seconds and pretty much determines that Polly is sea sick. Everyone gasps in awe; but really, even a layman would have noticed this. Doctor Hamster wants Polly to get to dry land; which is not a bad idea; but closing your eyes and going to sleep might actually be a better treatment. In the night, or in a ship without windows, it is helpful to simply close one's eyes, or if possible, take a nap. This resolves the input conflict between the eyes and the inner ear. Napping also helps prevent psychogenic effects (i.e. the effect of sickness being magnified by thinking about it). They do find an island and Polly fights over, lands on the sand and is better. So, that is that and DH gets another phone call; this time from Daddy Pig at the top floor of his office as he somehow has noticed three ducklings on the roof of the work building. DH sighs and proclaims that she'll come straight away. She's wondering; "Why not call Miss Rabbit?". Daddy Pig would respond to that by saying; "And get buried, are you nuts?" So jump cut to DH landing the aeroplane on the bottom of the hill near the office and everyone gets out and goes into the office. Daddy Pig is trying to sell this as a horrible tragedy and it is not working at all. Jump cut to inside the office with Mr. Rabbit and Mummy Cat looking at DH walking from the elevator with the Pig family in tow. Mummy Cat explains that cheeky Mrs. Duck has laid her eggs on the roof; and they hatched into little ducklings. So; Peppa and DH head to the open window and DH wants someone who can make quacking noises, and Peppa claims that she can do just that. So; DH tells Peppa to quack at them; because that sound will makes them follow Peppa like a Piped Piper. So Peppa is quacking and leading them outside towards the duck pond where Mr. and Mrs. Duck are waiting. The ducklings all jump into the duck pond and that is that. Everyone giggles with Peppa as Doctor Hamster's cell phone rings and DH answers it. Peppa asks if it's another emergency and DH proclaims that it's Mr. Hamster and Doctor Hamster has a tea break to go to. DH bails, gets into her plane and flies away stage left as everyone laughs to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was just okay. ** 1/2 (50%).

Bedtime Story: Last up for today is episode #174 on the animation paper as we head to the house on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as we zoom into Peppa's bedroom as Peppa and George are in bed listening to Daddy Pig sitting on a chair, reading the story about a prince, princess, a bugie and a frog, which all we get is the ending line to the story. Drat! Ben and Holly make another cameo here as Daddy Pig finishes up the story. Peppa and George are snoring in their beds and so Daddy Pig walks away, turns off the lights and says good night to his little piggies. Then George wakes up and cosplays Mr. Dinesaur. HAHA! This of course wakes up Peppa; because children can be extremely light sleepers. And people like me; but it's due to overactive bladders and cramped calves. Peppa orders him to go to sleep and George closes his eyes. Peppa goes back to sleep; and then George wakes up, and runs over to tip the basket over, and somehow George manages to shatter glass off-screen. Ah; the pitfalls of using stock sound effects instead of filming their own foley. Still too funny just the same. Peppa protests this outrage as she tucks George bad into bed and George bawls his eyes out during the transfer from the toy basket to the bed. So, Peppa decides to tell a story and this is just daring to be mocked to no end. So we hit the dream sequence as we start with George skipping on the yellow dusty road, which makes this a more exciting road than any road in this show's reality. He makes it to a forest and we cut back to Peppa telling the story some more before returning back to the story. This was dumb. So, basically; she's telling the Goldilocks & The Three Bears tale, complete with one giant bowl of porridge (oatmeal is one example of porridge, but not the only one); as apparently; the three bears are Doctor Brown Bear, Mrs. Bear and Belinda Bear. So, for those who wonder if Belinda is the daughter of Doctor Brown Bear, there is your evidence in the picture above the fireplace. George comes in and man, the house is small as we head back to Peppa explaining that George eat the porridge. So, apparently, Belinda is two years old in this storyline as she arrives to kick George (Georgie by Peppa) out; but only because the porridge is magical and thus George grew into a giant two year old piggie and became taller than most trees. The end. Okay; I have heard worse stories than this; all of them from Knack Animation. POW! OUCH! Ummmm...

Is George tired? George: No. The stupid part of this is not that Peppa is telling a bed time story; the stupid part is that she's telling one story and stopping at random points because her motive is to get George to sleep. But; George is already onto her scheme, so her plans are totally ineffective. That's why it's stupid. So, we continue the story as apparently, there is treasure at the end of the world, so Peppa is basically a flat earth believer. Someone tell her the world is a sphere, STAT~! Even funnier: the fact that Georgie in storyline can say complete sentence to a character (George Pig) in this shows' reality, who cannot speak more than two words a sentence. Georgie lets Belinda get in his hand and Georgie walks through the forrest as Peppa is milking this scene for all it's worth. In between this; George is clearly no selling this, because he knows Peppa's motive and is not buying into this for his own amusement and to make Peppa look like an idiot. Peppa adds mountains and seas; and George is so not buying this, although he sounds slightly sleepy, so this might work. Apparently; the end of the world is basically the name of an island with palm trees and a CHEST OF DEMONS containing riches. George is loving this story and grring because out of nowhere comes a giant green dragon, who looks only slightly threatening. I love that the wings are little despite being much bigger than Belinda in this scene. Even in fairytales; Peppa has to play troll. Georgie remembers to duck when the flamethrower is involved. That's what I call breathing fire by the way. Anyhow; the dragon decides to let them have the treasure, just like that. Georgie grins and this shrinks him back to normal size. Of course; this is so the finish to this story would be Georgie and Baby Belinda Bear riding the dragon with the treasure back home. The end...and George is finally asleep. Apparently; riding on dragons bored him to sleep. Peppa then slumps to the ground and sleeps as Daddy Pig comes in and scolds Peppa for playing before tucking her back in bed. Yeah, sure. Daddy Pig says good night to the little piggies and we zoom out to end the episode at 4:30 approx. The story was fun; but Peppa needs to learn to not interrupt the story in the middle just because her motive demands it to, since George was not buying it at all. *** 3/4 (75%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; I'm actually happy that International Day turned out the way it ultimately did. No; I still think the episode sucks; however, it is no where near the worst episode of the series. Yes; the costume wearing was a bad idea. Yes, Pedro's ugly American routine was ugly; but Pedro's routine was subtle and the bickering basically swamped it down a lot. Also; the realism was pretty good for the most part and the narrator was at his cheekist in this one from the moment Britian was on the slide. This episode was completely stupid; but it was mostly hilariously stupid, rather than offensively stupid. It would have been even better if they weren't dressed up like stereotypes; though. Pedro The Cowboy was the best Pedro Pony focused episode ever. Sure; he's clueless and awkward, but he was awesome at it, right down to stealing Madame Gazelle's Bing Bong Song. Mummy Rabbit's Bump was also great and it's always nice that a show (pre-school no less) is not afraid to really tells us where babies really come from. Sure; we didn't see the baby come out of Mummy Rabbit; but so what? At least they didn't do the stupid stork angle and "mana from heaven" angle and we knew where the newborns were. Bedtime Story was also really fun as well, since Peppa's storytelling is hilariously stupid to listen to. Overall; this was a much better than expected start to Series 4 and I feel relieved that International Day turned out to be better than I expected it to me. Next up is the next seven episodes as more fireworks are to come So...

Thumbs up for Mummy Rabbit's Bump, Pedro The Cowboy; thumbs down for International Day; thumbs in the middle for everything else and I'll see you all next time.

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