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Peppa Pig: Series Four #2 Rant

Reviewed: 04/29/2018

The Return Of Mister Skinnylegs!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Okay; so we head back to Series four as we start the next seven episodes of the Harley Bird era as the gloves are finally off of this show as it turns from just a normal pre-school show into a legendary pre-school show. So; how do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

George's New Dinosaur: So, we begin with episode #176 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the house on the hill. Out comes George from the back door with Mr. Dinesaur as he runs down the hill and plays catch with the toy. Ah; I see George is still throwing the toy over his head backwards, which always amuses me to no end. The narrator claims that Mr. Dinesaur is made of plastic and is almost impossible to break. Key word, almost. I love how Mr. Dinesaur doubles as a bouncy ball. Lots of cosplaying as we jump cut to the bathroom with George taking a bath with Mr. Dinesaur and Mummy Pig is sponging them both down. George bounces the toy in the water for fun and then we jump cut to George running in his pj's to his bed. Peppa is already in bed as we discover that Mr. Dinesaur had his tail chopped off for no good reason. Peppa notices that and declares Mr. Dinesaur to be broken. Since when was Mr. Dinesaur a machine? Yeah; it lost it's tail; unless the bouncy function is in the tail, then it's not broken, you troll! George looks at the end of the toy, goes "oh", the narrator says it all and George bawls his eyes out on cue. So, Mummy and Daddy come in to take Mr. Dinesaur away as they are surprised that this toy has lasted so long. So, Daddy Pig decides to get him a new toy dinosaur from Mr. Fox's shop tomorrow. So; we logically head to Mr. Fox's House of Everything, except unlike the Bonkers version; Mr. Fox does have some talent. There is a really ugly looking lime green colored dinosaur toy behind the window of said shop. George is sulking because he don't want a new dinosaur toy, because he knows his dinosaur toy hasn't lost it's bounce. Then George sees the dinosaur toy in the window and is in awe as he turns on Mr. Dinesaur within seconds. So much for George having any common sense; then again, he's two years old, so whatever. So, we head into the shop as Mr. Fox is at the counter when the Pig family comes in. Daddy Pig asks about the dinosaur in the window, Mr. Fox brings the dinosaur to George and calls it the Dino-Roar; because it's a robot dinosaur, you see. It does tricks, like walking and singing. Yeah; these new toys are sure overwrought. It's singing sucks like hell. I have zero idea who voiced Dino-Roar and I don't care who it is. Daddy Pig decides that they will take it because they are in awe of it.

Sadly; things begin to break down for the Pig family because Dino-Roar is never going to be Mr. Dinesaur since Dino-Roar is a robot and Mr. Dinesaur is a bouncy ball shaped like a dinosaur. So, this means George cannot bounce it in garden, because it has moving parts and would be broken otherwise. George cannot bounce it in the bath because it will short circuit and probably kill George in the process. And the worst offense of Dino-Roar is that George and Peppa cannot sleep at night because the robot unintentionally turns itself on and does his sucky musical spiel which is designed to make everyone miserable. Peppa complains as Daddy Pig comes in and takes Dino-Roar away as George is now sad. And if you listen closely, you can hear Mr. Fox laughing all the way to the bank. So, it's morning as the sun rises and a cock is crowing. Jump cut to the garden with George sulking and Dino-Roar looking away from him as if Dino-Roar hates George. The rest of the family shows up as Daddy Pig decides to start up Dino-Roar and Dino-Roar finally dies as his batteries have run out of juice. Good; no one likes Dino-Roar anyway. Daddy Pig opens the chest and discovers that Dino-Roar requires 13 C batteries! Seriously! Peppa claims that it's hundreds and thousands; although it might as well be anyway. So, Peppa picks up the batteries and discovers Mr. Dinesaur's tail is behind a bush. Peppa picks it up and blows the tail end of it, blushing in the process. Oh man; that is more disturbing than I had intended. I'm sorry. Mummy Pig points out the obvious as Mr. Dinesaur is brought in because now Daddy Pig can just mend Mr. Dinesaur. Daddy Pig will try as it takes about four attempts before the thing just locks into place. And Daddy Pig called this difficult, too; so apparently more than three times equals difficult in this world. George is happy as Peppa shakes Mr. Dinesaur's hand and sings a song for it's big comeback. George cosplays and then everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30 approx. While technology is all well and good; but only if it is useful. Dino-Roar didn't fill any of George's expectations as a toy and thus was declared useless. *** (60%).

Grandpa Pig's Train To The Rescue: Next up is episode #177 on the animation paper as the episode opens with Grandpa Pig in his train motif trailer with Peppa and George in the blue cart on the boring road. I'm sorry; but if you have rubber wheels and are not on tracks; it's not a miniture locomotive, nor a toy train. It's a truck with a train motif on it. So Peppa invokes the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM for a while. It's the train version of "The Wheels On The Bus" by the way. Jump cut to Miss Rabbit conducting the real train on the tracks as this train contains a crane with hook, a coal mining cart and a small passenger cart containing Mr. Rabbit, Mummy Cat and Mr. Rhino. Miss Rabbit notices Grandpa Pig on the road and mocks the "toy train"; which Grandpa Pig takes offense because it's a miniture locomotive, you see. I don't see that; I see a car with carts and a train motif attached to it. Miss Rabbit don't care as she pushes the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and the train chugs away stage right. Peppa Pig don't care either because she just said goodbye. Peppa wants Gertude to go faster; but it cannot despite the lever using (CLEVER CLOGS~!). Back to the train as the train breaks down and stops ends on the tracks. Grandpa Pig conveniently comes in and mocks Miss Rabbit for that as Miss Rabbit proclaims that it's not funny because she has passengers to get to work. Mr. Rhino I think talks for the first time in the series. Miss Rabbit gets out and deputizes Gertude as Grandpa Pig is ejected from his "miniture locomotive" and all the other passengers get it. And yes; Peppa and George are allowed to stay on the train. And who says Miss Rabbit cannot be a troll like Peppa? And Peppa and George don't care at all. However; Grandpa can still mend the big train and Grandpa Pig is fine with this; but not fine with Mr. Rhino calling Gertude a toy train of course. Miss Rabbit don't care as we push the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and we head down the boring road some more. Peppa points out that this is a slow train as we head to the next station with Mrs. Cow protesting this small toy train; and now Peppa is offended by it being called as such. Of course!

Everyone giggles in response; because they know Peppa is a troll as we head off on the boring road to the conveniently placed traffic jam with Mummy Wolf being the only notable cameo. Also before this; we get Grandpa Pig removing all the spare parts from the front of the train and commenting about it. But since Gertude is a car with a train motif; riding on the grass is easy and so we take the shortcut as Peppa nicely says "so long, suckers!" which goes down the hill, past the duck pond, up the hill (complete with the "you can do it" promo) and they make it to the next station where Mr. Bull is waiting. Mr. Bull coughs as he demands answers to this outrage and we just have to get Peppa into a frenzy about this being a toy train. Of course it's not a toy train, it's a car with a train motif. And of course; even most of the adults are agreeing with her as Mr. Bull gets in as we jump cut back to Grandpa Pig mending the train, yee-haw. He finally mends the train and gets into the train. So we head to the end of the line and it stops in a dead end. So; the train rides backwards coming the other way? That sounds dangerous to me. Miss Rabbit declares this the last stop; but the slow train means that by the time they got here, it's already home time. And the return trip will take ages; but no worries because here comes the big train as everyone gets on that. Miss Rabbit teases backing up the train; but Peppa tells everyone to stop because they cannot leave Gertude behind. Then why did you, George and Grandpa Pig get on the big train, for goodness sakes?! But, wait! Miss Rabbit uses the crane to put Gertude into the coal mine cart. I just knew this was going to happen as well as Miss Rabbit calling it a toy train...AGAIN! Grandpa Pig is still offended; I don't care as the train backs up and Peppa calls it the best train in the world to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Another fine episode; but come on now, is anyone buying this being a locomotive, or a toy train for that matter? *** 1/4 (65%).

The Pet Competition: This is episode #178 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the school house on the hill as we zoom in as this seems to be an earlier produced episode since Freddy and Wendy are not here for some reason. Madame Gazelle claps her hands and informs the students that they are having a pet competition tomorrow and the best pet wins a prize. Peppa is bringing in Goldie, Pedro has a stick insect, Edmond is bringing in the Gecko (probably the same one that Doctor Hamster rescued in The Flying Vet), Zoe is bringing in the plush monkey which Danny Dog rightfully blows off. Zoe don't care and cosplays Monkey as Madame Gazelle decides that Zoe can bring Monkey if she wants to. Yeah; because Monkey ain't winning this pet competition anyway. So; it's hometime and we head to the house on the hill BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) as we cut inside the kitchen with Peppa and Suzy at the kitchen table feeding Golide in Goldie's fishbowl. Suzy is polishing the fish bowl with a rag and her breath. The sun continues to set as Pedro is attending to his stick insect in his own room in it's glass cage. Pedro thinks he can win as we go to Emily's house with Edmond attending to his pet gecko on a table in the sitting room. Edmond is teaching it how to do a raspberry. Cut to Zoe's house and room as she's cosplaying with Monkey for a while on her bed. Pfft; whatever. Zoe basically tells Monkey not to be cheeky; which is the first time I have heard that word in this show in quite a while. So it's morning as the pet competition has begun at the school house on the hill. So, yes there are only four competitors and one of them is not a real animal. Everyone is at the tables with their animals and Danny Dog asks the obvious question: Who is the judge of this outfit? Well; the judge is of course, Doctor Hamster because there are no other vets in this storyline. I love how Doctor Hamster has completely forgot Goldie already because she is asking her name despite tending to Goldie at least twice in this show already. DUMB! Even Peppa is calling her out on this; so you know Doctor Hamster is clueless.

Peppa explains Goldie in a nutshell and manages to do the O face without making any noise whatsoever. That made me laugh. Next up is Pedro's stick insect, whom he calls Stephen. SSI! SSI! Apparently; Pedro loves Dungeons & Dragons, too. Not much from Pedro on the discription as we head to Edmond's pet gecko in which Edmond gives a name known as Hemidactylus Frenatus; because you know damn well that Edmond Elephant is a clever clogs. And apparently; Doctor Hamster heard the narrator because she is like "What?". Raspberries ensues; no one cares, let's bring out Zoe and Monkey cosplaying. Doctor Hamster wonders why it's upside down and Zoe claims that Monkey is asleep. Doctor Hamster is like; okay, let me bring out my pet, Tiddles out of nowhere. Doctor Hamster finally accepts Tiddles as a tree climber and literally two seconds later, Danny Dog cuts her off and wants a winner and all the other kids agree with Danny. So, Doctor Hamster is all like "Screw you rude children" and awards the prize to Tiddles. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Geez; is there anyone who hasn't caught the fever of Peppa's trolling? Peppa calls this unfair; the same Peppa who was a judge for a dress up party and declare herself the winner. Sod off, you troll! Doctor Hamster backpedals; claiming that Tiddles won for best tortoise; so everyone wins a prize because they were best in animal spieces; including plush monkey. Zoe admits that the monkey is faker than fake news. Zoe still wins a ribbon anyway; because Doctor Hamster has no sense of shame. Peppa is confused as Doctor Hamster declares that all of them are the best pets in the world. Nah; Pedro's stick insect is the best, because it's the most original pet. They are all healthy and lovely as the kids giggle to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was all right and once again, a competition where the judge picks their own as the winner. Neoptism, alive and well in storyline and in real life. ** 3/4 (55%).

Spider Web: Next up is episode #179 on the animation paper as we head to the house on the hill with creepy music. Uh-oh! Does this means Mister Skinnylegs is returning? Don't these writers know that Australia is not going to allow you to air such a thing in their country? Something about spiders being lethal (even though deaths to pigs is more of a problem than spiders; but I guess the injury factor is much greater than in pigs and that there are more spiders than pigs.). So, we head to Daddy Pig's study room as Daddy Pig is reading the newspaper and there are more cobwebs in this room than at anytime in my room. George, Peppa and Mummy Pig come in as Mummy Pig has the dreaded featherduster of slight discomfront because the study room is a mess. Wait; cobwebs and only two sheets of paper? Mummy Pig should see my room; that might change her mind about messes. Daddy Pig loves cobwebs and claims that they give a room character. Mummy Pig blows it off because there are spiders and she hates spiders. Wait, what?! Now, if you recall Mister Skinnylegs; Mummy Pig liked spiders at the end of the day, so this makes no sense. If this was an attempt to address the ban in Australia, it fails on that count as well. Daddy Pig claims that spiders catch flies and flies are horrid. He's right of course as Mummy Pig is fine with that as long as she doesn't see one and down from his spider thread is Mister Skinnylegs and Mummy Pig is absolutely terrified by this. If I recall; it was Daddy Pig who was the one afraid of spiders. Peppa greets him again and then Mister Skinnylegs bails upwards as Mummy Pig is horrified and wants that spider found and out of the house. Mummy Pig bails and we start the search for Mister Skinnylegs, with no success. However; not all is lost because Mummy Pig has found him on the sink in the bathroom. Of course! So, the kids and Daddy Pig show up as Mummy Pig wants Skinnylegs to go bye-bye and Daddy Pig takes MSL out to the garden with Peppa and George, all with their boots on; which means that a muddy puddle is forthcoming. Sadly; there is none in this episode; which would have been another iconic visual for this series.

So, it begins to rain and MSL waddles to the conveniently placed water spout and this makes Peppa want to deluge themselves in "Itsy-Bitsy Spider" promos. This might have been the shortest rainfall in history as Mummy Pig blows this off, so Daddy Pig is going to take MSL further into the garden instead. So, they find a conveniently placed tree and put MSL on said tree. MSL makes a web on the tree while Daddy Pig explains the situation. Daddy Pig also claims that you should never break a web; because it's hard work to remake such a web. Remember that for later. So, Peppa says goodbye and the family bails back to the house as it is now AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as we return to the house on the hill and then jump cut to Peppa and George in their beds with Daddy Pig. So, the little ones are tucked in as Daddy Pig explains that MSL makes new webs every day and he doesn't know where the next one is; but he'll find out tomorrow. He turns out the lights and the little ones go asleep. Jump cut to morning outside as the sun rises. Jump cut to the kitchen table with the family eating cereal. Daddy Pig shakes off the cereal from his suit; so he's as messsy an eater as I am. He wants to get to work early as he walks into the sitting room. Peppa calls him a hard worker as Daddy Pig claims that MSL is also hard at work. So, we head outside as Daddy Pig gets into his car and turns on the engine. He teases leaving; but Peppa cuts him off and orders him to stop. Daddy asks why and then we discover that MSL has made a web between the car and the house, meaning Daddy Pig, by virture of his own rule, cannot use the car today because that would break the web and thus MSL would have to do another one and that might kill it. Which would make everyone except the Australian censors extremely sad and/or pissed off. Daddy Pig is confused and asks how he is going to work. Peppa's solution: He rides her bicycle to work. Of course! So, Daddy Pig rides down hill and then blushes uphill as MSL giggles because he's got Peppa's trolling skills down to a T now as the rest of the family giggles to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Okay; that finish was funny. *** 1/4 (65%).

Opening Moment #1: Winter title opening is used here.

Mr. Potato's Christmas Show: Here is episode #182 on the animation paper as we head on a snowy boring road with Miss Rabbit driving the bus with Madame Gazelle and the kids giggling. Miss Rabbit and Madame Gazelle; despite being winter are dressed like it's spring while the kids are dressed in their winter clothes. That made me laugh. And yes; the cinema is on a snowy hill and Miss Rabbit at least remembers to park on the flat side of the hill this time. So all the kids get out and admire the poster containing Mr. Potato, Mrs. Carrot, Little Sprout and Sweet Cranberry. Someone forgot to inform the color stylist because cranberries are not purple; they are red. It should be Sweet Blueberry; since they are closer to that shade of purple. Of course; it's Christmas, so Cranberry it is. Then, things go properly weird: So, everyone takes off their coats off-screen and heads into the cinema seat as Madame Gazelle gives everyone a ticket and everyone sits down. Now; I omitted something in this description because look at Candy Cat and Suzy Sheep. What the bloody hell happened here? Candy Cat's face looks like Daddy Cat; and Suzy Sheep has lost all of her coloring on her face and is ash gray. Why was this done? And it's clear it's a coloring error because Suzy and Candy were colored as they always were before this scene! Then suddenly; the kids do a counting game and who shows up? Suzy Sheep and Candy Cat. The two other kids were merely a decoy. Next shot: The dark skined cat has moved to below the little ones row and now there is two dark skinned sheep sitting in between Rebecca Rabbit and Freddy Fox. WHAT?! Apparently; Delphine Donkey made the trip along with a child cow and a child rhino, and another little rabbit sitting beside George. Madame Gazelle sits down on the end where the little ones are sitting and of course, Pedro has to bail and bump into everyone because he needs the toilet. Of course! Everyone is not happy about this. Closeup of Suzy and Peppa (as the dark skinned cat returns to his seat in front. Gabrelle Goat makes a cameo before Pedro heads up to the toilet, HUZZAH!

The other kids are color palette swaps of the other kids; so this is a great big video game now. Pedro returns to his seat, generally being annoying so Gazelle tells him to shh! Miss Rabbit is in the upper bowl now. So, the lights go dim and we get the William Tell overture, which in itself would be perfectly fine since it's a public domain song. Everyone assumes that the show is starting and than Madame Gazelle brings out her cellphones, turns it off and apologizes. Damn; that would have been an awesome opening to say the least. Madame Gazelle is a hypocrite. Then the clown horns start proper as there is jungling, Peppa of course is thinking that it's someone else's cellphone and then the curtain opens and out comes Mr. Potato on stage. I wish the curtain opened and it was Mr. Potato's cellphone ringing during this, because that would be uber funny. Meaning the opening sequence is done in complete silence. Sadly; it's the actual show audio track, so I bring out my sad face. I'm just going to ignore the awful shot continuity of the crowd at this point as Mr. Potato is wearing Santa's hat and addresses the crowd because the magic of fruit and vegetables never ends. The crowd pops as Mr. Potato sidesteps to show a house in the background. He introduces Mrs. Carrot and Sweet Blueberry...ERR..I mean, Sweet Canberry; and Little Sprouts as they proceed to do the backsplash laugh. Ah; so that's where everyone learned it from! Okay. Lots of clapping and popping ensues and then Little Sprout is written out via teleport and this is one time where it actually lead somewhere. So, the kids are doing some interacting as Little Sprout is being cheeky and waving to the crowd because these fruit and veggies are clueless. And killing time. Of course; there so clueless even Suzy Sheep is calling them out on it. HAHA! Little Sprout decides to waddle on stage and Mr. Potato calls it cheeky and this whole exercise (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) was designed so Mrs. Carrot had a pulley system so she could play the role of the Fairy Godcarrot~! Of course! Suzy of course notices this as a work; so don't ever bring her to wrestling matches.

Sweet Canberry wants a Christmas tree and we get some dust and a trapdoor platform raising a nice looking Christmas tree with no star at all. But wait! Little Sprout is not only the star of this Christmas tree; it also sings the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM! Everyone on stage sings and waves a Happy Christmas...The end, curtain down and that is that. The crowd is like; "That was awfully short match; they sure put the meaning of the term, "Go home show" to good use!". Peppa says it all as the curtain comes up and there is in fact more; as if a video game developer is saying "Oh, I have one more announcement to make." So, they bring down a background containing a fireplace, and anyone who has watched enough cartoons knows where this is going. There is a VIP coming and he hos a lot. It's clearly Father Christmas stuck in the chimney with it's legs wiggling and Suzy Sheep proclaims that it's the Queen. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! She must mean Queen in a Santa outfit; she cannot be that stupid nor trollish. Oh wait, it's Father Christmas. Remind me never to ask Suzy to pick lotto numbers either. FC addresses the crowd, asks if they are good and the crowd pops. FC asks if they have been cleaning their teeth and the crowd pops. FC asks if they kept their rooms tidying and the crowd is like "Can I come back to you on that one?". Father Christmas don't care because it's time to sing the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM AGAIN~! YAY! That ends the episode at 4:30 approx. The episode was fine; but the animation contiunity was not as the crowd shots felt right at home with The Adventures Of Teddy Ruxpin. *** 1/2 (70%).

Madame Gazelle's Leaving Party: Here is episode #183 on the animation paper as we head to the school house on the hill with the bells chiming. We zoom in with all the kids who are currently on the roster sitting down laughing for no reason. Madame Gazelle claps her hands and proclaims that there is no playgroup next week because she is going away and the children treat this as her retiring from playgroup forever! Yeah, sure because losing the status quo is reserved for Sesame Street, who despite all of their problems (Elmo, I'm looking at you!), the core features are still there and usually, they do it right. The kids bid farewell and run out as we jump cut to the house on the hill with Daddy Pig driving to the backyard, parking on the steepest side of the hill...AGAIN! Doctor Hamster seems to be the only one who can park her vehicles in a sensible matter and yet she cannot understand why tortoises climb trees. So, Peppa and George hop out of the car, Daddy Pig follows them into the house. Mummy Pig is in the kitchen chopping up potatoes and stuff for soup at the kitchen table. The rest of the family comes in and Peppa wastes zero seconds telling Mummy Pig that Madame Gazelle is leaving and there's no replacement, so playgroup is canceled forever. Which means Peppa and George have to go to a public school now. POW! OUCH! Ummmm...Oh come on, now! What is so wrong with a public school? Daddy Pig thinks this is Madame Gazelle retiring and we hit the flashback which implies that Daddy Pig, Mummy Pig, Mr. Rhino, Mummy Pony, Mr. Rhino, Mr. Zebra and Doctor Elephant have all been taught by Madame Gazelle. I have a question that just sprang up: Do Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig have the same grandparents? Because, it sounds like this is the case. I'm guessing that the Grandpa and Grandma Pig were Mummy Pig's parents since they mention her room at their house a couple of times. So, who are Daddy Pig's parents? And if they have the same parents; don't the writers realize that this relationship is incest? And do they realize that this is not as funny as the scene in Babysitter when George and Peppa seriously thought the grandparents were going to kill them?

Wow; now I'm creeped out and it took this flashback for me to realize it. I'm sorry I was not woke enough. Daddy Pig can learn how to count to three; but cannot shrug off his love for concrete. More on that in Simple Science, I might do a Q&D on the Live Journal for that episode since I cannot find the full episode. So, we return to reality (no thank you...) as Mummy Pig suggests having a retirement party which in Britian is called a leaving party. In a way, this actually makes sense regardless of the finish since it's a way to deflect the fact that Madame Gazelle is not retiring even though everyone thinks she is. So we scene change to the school house as everyone comes in, literally with various stuff for the leaving party as they are setting up the scene. Someone has to run interference to make sure Madame Gazelle is not in on the party before they are ready. Peppa Pig has to pick someone who has to watch. Now; Peppa herself would have been perfect to run interference, but it's not herself that she chooses. Guess who she chooses. Does she pick a compentent adult to run such interference. Nope! She picks...wait for it...Pedro F'N Pony. Head desking ensues. The worst choice of all time in this situation. So, Pedro gets his marching orders and Peppa goes inside as the adults and children are decorating the place. Then; we discover that Madame Gazelle's former career was being in a rock guitar group called the Rocking Gazelles. I should note that the power of the mind to create falsehoods struck this show's head as moral guardians seriously thought that the adults said "F*cking Gazelles" which is stupid because it was clear they said rocking, since their gimmick is that they were music stars. Unlike Plunder and Lightning and Stampede Wrestling where Baloo and I don't remember the commentator's name (It's not Ed Whalen, Jim Davies nor Bob Leonard); which there is nothing to indicate that it could be misinterperted as anything other than the word f*ck.

The Stampede one was very awful, mostly because the announce also said to redo the interview (I think it was with Chris Benoit and Beef Wellington near the end of Stampede Wrestling's life) on a live to tape show. Sid Vicious is infamous for doing this and he is G-rated for the most part. Disney did try to cover up the gaffe in Plunder and Lightning in the DVD version in the caption, but couldn't change anything in the audio because it was in a spot where they couldn't cut it, nor fix the audio without a gap in the video and audio soundtrack (which in part, explains why there are scenes with guns that aren't cut out because even the editors of post-production realize that you cannot cut stuff out just because they contain forbidden content without making the editing look even more rinky-dink as it is. Toon Disney everyone.); so Disney was screwed and they couldn't do a second take for whatever reasons. The word is partially covered up with the cheers of Rebecca and Kit (which Baloo in the captions says: It's worked! Hilariously; that was the line Kit spoke. Epic fail!), making it even worse. The thing is, on a live show; unless you have seven second delay, you're f*cked as they say. Most of the time; Snopes is correct, but that doesn't mean nothing ever slips through. Mistakes happen all the time and when you least expect it. Yes; there are rules, but they are designed to deter people from saying those naughty words. Most of the time, they work. In a few instances, they don't. And in Baloo's case he got away with it because I have yet to see any evidence that the FCC or the CRTC do anything as a result. The PTC probably complained about it; but they complain about everything, so that's nothing new. So, enough about foul language, we discover that the two Rocking Gazelles have retired to a snowy mouintain cabin somewhere in Switzerland. One of them is literally wearing a target on her shirt, why? She's the one who answers the phone as we discover that Madame Gazelle's first name is Gigi. Yes; she is the only one officially with the first name among the adults.

There are rumors that Mrs. Elephant's first name is Elizabeth; but I doubt it since the Queen is based off Queen Elizabeth II. I still maintain that Grandpa Pig's name is Issac Newton Pig. Like every British stereotype on this show; they are having tea and fruitcake. Anyhow; they are sad that Madame Gazelle is retiring and Peppa Pig yells that there is a party and the Rocking Gazelle are coming, probably to provide entertainment. I should note that the Rocking Gazelles business was Four Gold and Two Silver records; but no platinum hits. Not bad; not outstanding as a career sales-wise. I wonder how the Bing Bong Song did? So, after that lovely phone call conversation, we get scenes of food making in the school house kitchen. Because; I'm into the fourth paragraph already, I'm just going to skim through this scene as there are cupcake and wobbly jelly being made. Peppa has to make it wobble of course. Jump cut to Pedro Pony guarding the school house. Oh; and here comes Madame Gazelle and Pedro blurts out to the house that she's coming. Miss Rabbit (or Mummy Rabbit, doesn't matter) comes out and orders Pedro to run interference because they are not ready yet. How are the Rocking Gazelles going to get in without Gigi noticing. I also love that now that we know Madame Gazelle's first name; they are still referencing her as Madame Gazelle? So, Pedro is exchanging pleasure thoughts as Gigi is clearly wanting to go inside. Pedro says no, because it's againest the law. So, in other words; Gigi does not own the school, because if she does, Pedro is wrong about it being against the law, unless he is implying that the place is an environmental hazard. Which is hilarious considering who is guarding the door. Gigi is so not buying this; but it's rendered moot because Daddy Pig informs Pedro that they are ready and Gigi can come inside now. So, Gigi goes into the school house and we have the most impossible logic break of all time in this show: Apparently; the entrance Pedro was guarding was a decoy because Gigi entered from the main door; but somehow teleported her AND THE F'N DOORWAY into the middle of the school.

She couldn't just walk in for a bit and then she's surpised when the lights turned on. No; she walked in and the doorway teleported to the middle of the room in the background. WHAT THE BLOODY F*CK?! They basically sing the "She's a jolly good fellow" song; but apparently, deny is a bad word in a pre-school show; or the line "which nobody can deny." is copyrighted for some odd reason. Everyone pops except Gigi, who doesn't know what to make of this as if this were not a pre-school show, it would turn into the awesome "This Is Your Life" segment with Mick Foley and the Rock; with Gigi as the Rock and Peppa as Mick Foley. I'm not going to provide the links for it, because I just want to finish this episode and there is still more than a minute left. Freddy and Mr. Fox give her an antique clock make of solid plastic, and the crowd is in awe of this. Gigi is confused as hell as Mummy Pig proclaims that they are doing this leaving party as a show of respect for all she has done because Peppa states that she is leaving forever. Except; not once did Madame Gazelle ever say that she was leaving forever, only that playgroup wasn't happening next week. Uh-oh! Gigi finally points out that the reason for no playgroup next week is that she is going on holiday. I hope she also says "To see my friend; the Rocking Gazelles!"; because this would make this moment even more hilarious. She's going to teach for many years to come as Daddy Pig wants the party still of course. Oh; hello Rocking Gazelles on stage as Gigi is so happy to see them, she gets on stage with her electric guitar and we dance, dance, dance to our doom. HEEHEEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm... Yeah; this is what happens when you have the longest Peppa Pig episode review of all time. This ends the episode at 4:30 approx. I love this episode; but the logic was wonky and the finish was as predictable as Nintendo's E3 2018 plans. **** (80%).

The Children's Fete: Last up for today is episode #187 on the animation paper as we head to the school house on the hill with Mr. Bull on the roof as the roof has at least four holes and it's leaking...AGAIN! All the big kids are outside with Madame Gazelle as Mr. Bull inspects the damage. We discover that Mr. Bull was the one who built the roof and I knew we shouldn't trust a guy who loves digging up playgrounds and roads like a mad person. So, Mr. Bull is completely clueless of the roof's life span as we head inside as apparently; only one area is leaking and Mr. Bull concludes that they need a new roof and Madame Gazelle is worried about paying for it; because in this world, Playgroup is a private school with almost no money in reserve. You cannot blame Pedro Pony for this at all. So, Danny Dog suggests having a school fete to raise money; only it is going to be a Children's Fete. In that the children run the fete while the parents enjoy themselves; because every parent in this show cannot pass Y7, let alone PG, 14, or MA. Madame Gazelle likes it and this logically leads to the fete on the hill as the balloons are flying. Mrs. Bear and Mrs. Cow are cameoing in this one as Danny Dog has a mircophone and a stand that is much taller then he is. He is still loud enough to hear as he shakes a conveniently placed can of coins, implying that they are in the middle of the fete, even though he's acting like the fete has just started. That was amusing. Jump cut to Emily's booth; which is basically the flea market booth; except it's called a Brick-a-brac stall. This fete is truly old school! Madame Gazelle comes in and proclaims that this will take all day...and then Mr. Fox comes in and is interested in all of it. Pedro Pony is doing balloons and Madame Gazelle wants to buy the red giraffe and Pedro asks how much money does Gazelle have. Gazelle then says that this is for the school roof and basically dumps all her money. Pedro Pony is the most awkwardly scummy salesperson I have ever met. Emily sadly; give away all the stuff for no money because she is dumber than Daddy Pig when it comes to business. Wow; they made Pedro Pony look like the smart one here.

So, we cut to Suzy's face painting booth as Miss Rabbit (I think) wants to be a mountain lepoard and Suzy no sells because she only does fruit. Keep in mind, in the first fete episode back in Series 1, Miss Rabbit could only paint tigers. So, this is basically a giant middle finger by Suzy to remind Miss Rabbit of the lack of her face painting skills. So, Miss Rabbit decides to play along and before she can say her fruit, Suzy paints purple all over her face and Emily, Candy, Rebecca, Wendy, George and Richard clap in unison. Yip; this was their revenge for Series one. Peppa is in charge of what is called the Lucky Dip - a barrel of laughs containing prices and a lot of straw. Peppa shakes the tin can of money as in comes Mr. Bull with green painted on his face; green apple according to Mr. Bull. At least Mr. Bull pays her as the rules of engagement are to pull a present out of the barrel and everyone wins something. As Scott Hudson once says: It's all very simple. Mr. Bull pulls out a round blue present and opens it to reveal a doll. Mr. Bull doesn't know what to make of this as Candy Cat pays for a try and she gets a toy digger as a result. Peppa is surprised and asks if they want to swap and then both of them say no and enjoy their prizes. I like it when binary thinking is told to take a long walk off a short pier. Jump cut to Freddy in front of Madame Gazelle with a banana yellow megaphone ordering all the parents to come in for the BIG RACE OF DOOM~! It's known as the Mummies and Daddies race as everyone pays up because it's all for a good cause. Although I hope that money is enough to pay for someone other than Mr. F'N Bull to fix the roof. Daddy Pig proclaims that he's good at running; but Peppa points out that this is a potato sack race, just to be a troll. So, Daddy Pig gets in the sack as Peppa explains the rules of engagement for the sack race; which is the same as a running race, only you jump in the sack. It's all very simple, as Scott Hudson would say. Freddy Fox is all ready, steady, run as our sack jumpers are as follows: Daddy Pig, Mrs. Fox, Mr. Zebra. Mummy Dog, Mr. Rabbit and Mummy Sheep.

We go and everyone faceplants right from the start. Of course! I AM WATCHING IMPACT~! The kids are all disappointed in spite of Peppa's trolling since Peppa was also acting all disappointed, making her look like a bigger troll. So, they get back up and Daddy Pig has the lead, with Mrs. Fox, Mummy Dog, Mr. Rabbit, Mr. Zebra following and Mummy Sheep is in last place. So, Mrs. Fox wins the sack race (like it matters since there was literally nothing on the line since it was just for a good cause) with Mummy Dog in second place, Mummy Sheep in third, Mr. Rabbit in fourth, Daddy Pig in fifth and Mr. Zebra in last place. What a plummet for Daddy Pig, eh?! They all flop down on their stomach after crossing the line, rendering the event even more pointless than it already was. Freddy rubs in it; but the other kids don't care either way. Madame Gazelle comes over and asks if this was fun, and the adults have to lie to convince her that they had fun, when they are tired out. Gazelle wants them to thank the kids for their hard work and the parent do sell that at least; and Gazelle shows off the cans as they have raised enough money for a new school roof...AGAIN! But Gazelle gives Mr. Bull the proceedings...AGAIN as everyone else pops to end the episode of 4:30 approx. The cycle of more episodes with the roof leaking as an angle continues. Why continue giving the one guy who cannot be trusted in maintaining a school roof? The episode was fun, but mind-boggling in that this angle is going to continue. *** 1/2 (70%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; another seven episodes are in the books and really, the only one that I consider to be outstanding was Madame Gazelle's Leaving Party because at least that had something different even though the finish was as predictable as my rant career has been going over the last two years. It was enjoyable; but nothing really new. The rest of the episodes were average to good; which is fine, but again; nothing outstanding. It's mostly a fun pre-school show and not much more. Next weekend will be the final eight episodes of Series 4 and that pretty much ends Peppa Pig for me until I have access to Series 5. The last eight episodes feature a circus! Fruit! Pedro being predictably late! George Pig: Race Car Driver! Garden Games! An anthro bull in a china shop! The Olden Days and we conclude with discovering that Madame Gazelle might be a vampire! DAA! DAA! DAAAAAAAAAAAA~! So, there is still some fun episodes left in this series. So...

Thumbs up for Madame Gazelle's Leaving Party, thumbs in the middle for everything else and I'll see you all next time.

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