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Peppa Pig: Series Six #3 Rant

Reviewed: 11/17/2019
Addtional Review: 12/21/2019

Time To Really Read Those Books!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. We continue our drive deep into Series 6 as we go to TV Land, read books, use a metal detector, play baseball (sort of) and recorders, find buried treasure and have a Father's Day with Super Potato. I'll be so disappointed if that potato isn't baked, boiled and BBQ'ed when this is over. How do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

TV Land: So, first up is episode #284 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the little house on the hill with Daddy Pig's car parked on the front door on the right side as we zoom into the living room with Mommy Pig reading Ezza Magazine and Daddy Pig is watching a kids show with Peppa, George, Emily and Edmond Elephant. They are watching Super Potato. So, Super Potato (who is not Mr. Potato in a disguise as discovered in Series 5) does some flips for a while and gets it all his superhero spots. The kids all love Super Potato and he's a step up from Mr. Potato at least, so I cannot argue that overwhelming logic there. So, Super Potato does his "Eat Your Five" jingle, and Edmond doesn't even bother to correct him and say "seven"; so they have totally erase that moment from Edmond's mind and that makes me sad. I guess it's because Mummy Pig is singing the jingle and realizes that this show is completely repetitive. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! Projection much there, show?! Even Daddy Pig is questionning this show, so there is a lot of projection in this episode. The kids naturally don't care and this jingle will live on forever. On the other hand, there are worse messages on television than this jingle, even it if is supposed to be eating your seven fruits and veggies. So, everyone wonders how these tiny characters who are supposed to be big can fit inside the television and Mummy Pig calls it magic, Edmond calls it science because Edmond Elephant is a clever clogs of course. Actually, it's part science, part imagination and part money. So Mummy Pig is a third right and Edmond is a third right on that count. Daddy Pig suggests that they go to TV Land and see how television is made. So, TV Land is a big studio on the hill with Super Potato, Mrs. Carrot and Little Plum. So, yes; Mr. Potato has been cancelled and blacklisted from Peppa Pig. Serves him right for having the crappiest car in existence. Shame on him! So, everyone is in the car with Daddy Pig driving and there is a brown dog like guard in a blue uniform stopping them at the most insecure barrier in history. Anyone who watches this can clearly see the fatal flaw in security here. No one notices anyway and pretends that Daddy Pig cannot go around the barricade. This is dumb. So, Daddy Pig says that he doesn't work here and the guard refuses entry. You couldn't call to see if TV Land had tours of the studio available? Once again, Daddy Pig is dumb.

So, Peppa claims that they are children and want to see how TV is made....and the guard simply lets them in cart-blanche. So, that makes the guard look even dumber than Daddy Pig. I don't think this helps Daddy Pig in anyway, show. So, Daddy Pig drives in and parks off-screen. Everyone goes into the studio and I was wrong in thinking that Mr. Potato was blacklisted; because there are posters of everyone who had worked for television, including Mr. Potato and Mrs. Potato. One of the pictures includes the footage from the episode where George drove a pedal race car. Poor Danny, though. Miss Banana apparently gets a picture and of course, Miss Rabbit is the tour guide. She also has a clipboard with notes for no reason and looks more like a director than a tour guide. So, we exchange thoughts for a while and then we start the tour seconds later. So, we head to a sound stage where Mrs. Wolf is working along with Mr. Cat (I think, they reuse models a lot more than Pokemon Sword and Shield ever did) along with various furries in fruit and veggie costumes (I think, it's hard to tell, actually) as Super Potato is prepping his voice for a while and then greets the babyfaces as Edmond proves his point. Except... they were with Mr. Potato and Super Potato in a previous episode and they were just as big then as they were now. Geez, these writers really think kids have a memory of three seconds. I have a memory of three seconds and I'm 42 years old! Stop punching down on kids, okay?! So, Miss Rabbit has her out of nowhere megaphone and it's time to unleash the magic, which Edmond replies that it's science. At least Edmond is two years old in storyline and he's a nice guy to have at parties. If this were me, I would look like an asshole. Edmond's a smugass; let's move on to the action as the lights and camera turn on all by themselves without supervision. I guess the crew is on a smoke break, or something. Oh wait, Mr. Cat is at the camera as he moves it into position. So, Super Potato does his jungle and Edmond not once corrected him, even after Miss Rabbit said cut. Did someone complain about the "Eat your seven" moment, even though there was nothing wrong with it?! Hey, it's better than eating seven portions of junk food, that is for sure. So, we get magical effects on wires and transmitter and all this serves is to make Edmond look like a mad elephant, even if all of his promos are correct. Which they are correct.

So, the payoff of all this is Suzy and Suzy mother at home watching Super Potato on television, while Mrs. Sheep is reading a knitting magazine. Oh my goodness, it's a miracle! A woman on the show is not reading Ezza Magazine! There is a tiny amount of varitey on this show! Pass the tissues! I need to cry now....Okay, let's move on. And yes, Mrs. Sheep sings the jingle in the most breathless, non-exciting voice ever. So, Miss Rabbit offers Peppa to be on television and Peppa goes on stage with Miss Rabbit and Miss Rabbit yells action and bails. Peppa stands there and basically says: "What do I do?". I don't know, but I cackled at that one. The irony of Harley Bird saying that is not lost on me, although I'm not sure if it's not lost on Harley. Miss Rabbit tells her to say something, anything. She's already done that Miss Rabbit; it's called "What do I do?". Also cackled at that one. And then I lost my crap as Peppa basically does the opening theme in the world of Peppa Pig with Suzy watching on. The only difference is that they all did the backsplash laugh, which sadly should have been part of the opening since the first episode. Daddy Pig suddenly stops selling because his mobile phone is ringing and Daddy Pig is answering. He gives the phone to Peppa, because it's Suzy Sheep. Suzy loves Peppa being tiny and Peppa don't care because she's on television and asks if she could be on television again and Miss Rabbit loved the scene so much, that she can be on television hundreds of times; which means; the creators just explained how Peppa Pig became a television show forever to annoy the old farts everywhere. Everyone comes in as Miss Rabbit, the Pig Family, Emily and Edmond do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. Okay, this was the best explaination for this television show existing in the history of television. Really fun episode. **** (80%).

Super Potato Movie: Here is episodes #287 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the cinema on the hill as Mr. Fox and his van are already there selling merch in bundles of five or seven depending on what the writers want the music jingle to be. Oh wait, the potatoes are in a bundle of six. That kind of kills the gimmick both ways. So, basically all the kids and parents are here as Daddy Pig and Mr. Fox have a pleasure thought exchange as in a big plot twist, the veggies and potatoes are not made of plastic and are in fact legit produce. HAHA! The one time plastic would have been apporo and Mr. Fox just changed the gimmick. So sly. So we cut to the ticket booth at the front entrance with the kids holding legit produce instead of plastic produce as Miss Rabbit proclaims that the film is going to start and not once did she bother to check on tickets. Mummy Pig did check on bladder control; but all of them are fine. I hope you have your stopwatches on because I betcha at least one of the characters will go to the toilet. My money is on Pedro Pony going first. So, we head into the theater and speaking of Pedro Pony: He's in the back row and there is a look-a-like in the front row with rabbit ears. Don't ask me why, I don't design the models for these nor the Pokemon characters. Peppa and Rebecca meet and greet as they call the produce Super Potato and Mrs. Carrot. This is deanthroizing of characters there. And when is Mrs. Carrot going to get her own show?! We need stronger female leads in this show than this. A lot of cosplaying is done until Mummy Pig nicely tells them to stop and sit down. The movie finally starts with Super Potato doing his usual flips while the new narrator reminds us that this is a movie. So, we go to the land of fruit and vegetables, which appears to be filmed in the Swiss Alps. Okay, good to know. There is a white fence and in front of it is Mr. Banana and Mrs. Carrot, who has her leg stuck in the fence. Instead of Mr. Banana simply pulling the leg out, which looks so easy by the way, he panics and calls for Super Potato. Of course! The kids are chanting for him, because that banana is weaker than my sex life. So, Super Potato hears the pleas and comes down and pulls Mrs. Carrot from the fence and Mrs. Carrot calls him her hero. Pfft, whatever. So, then Peppa proves me wrong about Pedro going first on the toilet and Mummy Pig and Peppa Pig both have to walk and excuse themselves to the crowd.

At first, I thought this was stupid because I would think Peppa can find the bathroom by herself. And then we head to the projector room with Miss Rabbit watching the movie and in comes Peppa asking if this is the toilet despite Mummy Pig being with her. So, not only does Peppa not know where the bathroom is, neither does Mummy Pig. And incel males think they are only punching down on Daddy Pig? And then they wonder why I don't believe them when they want Jess Allen from The Social fired for basically telling the truth about hockey culture and insulted white males ONE TIME in her career, while praising Don Cherry for THIRTY YEARS of racist remarks, INCLUDING against WHITE MALES (one coach even threatened a lawsuit against Cherry for said remark) and NOT GET FIRED ONCE until the talk about a poppy came up?! The Nazism is very high among those incels methinks. Oh, and Mummy Pig not once reminded Peppa that this was the wrong room. Anyhow; they exchange notes as Miss Rabbit has to watch this six times a day and wishes she were a superhero and Mummy Pig wasn't subtle in saying that she is a superhero in anyway. This is so tragic; but it does lead to Miss Rabbit giving directions to the bathroom and that is that. So, we head back to the movie as Mrs. Carrot is now stuck in a muddy puddle which I think is quicksand. You couldn't have Mr. Banana in there, because he's more hapless from Mrs. Carrot. Again; only sexist humans would believe that they are punching down on Daddy Pig only and leave Mummy Pig alone. So, Mummy Pig and Peppa return to their seats, Rebecca summarizes the situation and in comes Super Potato in repeat footage and swoops down and plucks Mrs. Carrot out of the mud. I would love to see Mr. Banana get this spot; just to see if they pop the banana, if you catch my drift. So, Miss Rabbit in the projector room proclaims that the song jingle is coming, and sadly; they still do not do the "eat your seven" spot; so it was an one off only. Edmond is in the room for goodness sake and he no sells it as the curtain closes and spotlights come out. The announcer does his spiel; so you know that the movie is also going to be a live stage show of Super Potato and by god, here he is. Lots of Smash Brothers clapping ensues as Super Potato addresses the crowd as Mr. Banana and Mrs. Carrot show up in opposite directions. Super Potato asks if they enjoyed the movie and the children cheer yes.

Peppa then wants Super Potato to fly and he does the Hulk Hogan cupping of the ear spot to hear it and then flies in infinite loops. At least this show is keeping with the storyline from Series 5 that Super Potato is a legit super hero instead of Mr. Potato in a goofy disguise. I just wish they kept the awkward "eat your seven" moment, because that is sort of a fun joke. Sadly, Super Potato is dumber than Mr. Potato and crashes into the ceiling and is now stucker than Daddy Pig. I was hoping Pedro Pony would use the toilet now; but it doesn't happen. Suzy wants to call Super Potato and Peppa has to remind her that Super Potato is real in storyline; so it's time to call Miss Rabbit's Rescue Service as everyone including Super Potato chants for Miss Rabbit. Miss Rabbit does a run in and then bails to find her helicopter as Super Potato did indeed crash through the roof, so the narrator wasn't lying in the least. Miss Rabbit flies above the screaming for help, helpess Super Potato and uses the SUCTION CUP OF BANE TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE; but since this isn't an action cartoon, it's perfectly all right. Super Potato is let down on the ground in front of the cinema and everyone comes out, including Doctor Brown Bear; just in case Super Potato was legit hurt. I think only his pride was hurt on that one as most of the damage was the roof. I'm fine with this; at least it's not the school house on the hill. Peppa wants to be like Miss Rabbit. No, don't Peppa. Nothing good will come out of it. Super Potato declares Miss Rabbit his hero, Miss Rabbit blushes and everyone giggles to end the episode at 4:30. I'm disappointed Super Potato didn't do the jingle in the credits, because it would have been one more way to get in the Edmond "it's seven" promo. This was the most non-violent, non-diverse movie of all time; but the finish was glorious. *** 1/2 (70%).

Father's Day: Next up is episode #272 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the little house on the hill as the narrator proclaims that it's Father's Day and Daddy Pig walks out the back door and gets his cheap lawn mower because he don't care about this day. The narrator's explaination is so obvious that I feel ashamed for being called a daddy. So, out comes Mummy, Peppa and George with the spotty ball as Peppa asks if they can play in the garden and Mummy is fine with it as she pulls a conveniently placed weed and Daddy Pig praises her for it. Mummy Pig does that look on her face as she asks what Daddy Pig is going to do and Daddy Pig claims that he'll be a father, which prompts Mummy Pig to ask "Can you do that and cut the grass?" Wait, I thought the cutting grass was a part of the weeding. This gravely offends Daddy Pig because the rest of the family has forgotten that it's Father's Day. Daddy Pig correctly points out that Father's Day is the same thing as Mother's Day, but only for Daddies; and Mummy Pig flat out claims that it's a modern make up day. Mother's Day started in 1908 and like Christmas, it's been too commercialized. Father's Day pretty much started BECAUSE of Mother's Day and pretty much in the same year. The problem is (besides Father's Day being too commericalized, but that's capitalism for you) ; Father's Day was born out of a religious ritual as old as the fifth century; while Mother's Day was a modern holiday born out of secularism. So Mummy Pig got it wrong; but at least her holiday was secular which is a better holiday in that regard, so Daddy Pig is screwed. Neither are made up though. So, Mummy Pig and Peppa apologize for their graffe and ask what Daddy Pig would like to do and Daddy Pig wants to watch some race cars on the television. So we logically head to the living room as Daddy Pig watches race cars on television. Goldie gets to watch Daddy Pig's tummy for the show as well. Daddy Pig sits on the sofa and relaxes; although I find it hard to relax with all that noise. So, we jump cut to the kitchen table with Mummy Pig, George and Peppa with paper and a box of crayons as they draw Daddy Pig in the long grass; because we have to troll on him that he is not cutting the lawn today. He can do it tomorrow, okay? So, inside the card, the message is actually perfect, complete with two kisses. Sadly, they were not Chef kisses; that would have been money!

Oh, and Pepper gets inspired and this episode is about to get worse because we have to do at least one glitter bomb joke in Series 6. Mummy Pig is not happy about this at all and she tries to understandabily weasel out of this joke by claiming the glitter is lost. I was hoping she would say that glitter is dead; that would have also been money. Peppa doesn't buy it for one second because she's a troll and don't care. Somehow, the vial of glitter is on top of the fridge. Why would you buy glitter from the start, let alone put it in an obvious place where Peppa can clearly see it?! Mummy Pig is like "well done" and is looking towards the hard camera and blinking; because she knows this house is FUBARED! Jump cut to Daddy Pig watching racing on television, like me watching him watching racing on my computer screen. Peppa and George run in with the card and give it to Daddy Pig, and there is glitter dropping on the floor and it looks like pieces of circle paper. Daddy Pig loves the front, and then makes the fatal error of opening the card and....GLITTER PIPE BOMB~! And now Daddy Pig is the world biggest Christmas Pig Tree. POW! OUCH! Ummm... Daddy Pig teases being angry, and in a split second recoils and loves the card. This joke is death now and it's time to end the gimmick outright. It is no longer funny and it's only going to encourage pollution. The narrator then proceeds to say the biggest lie ever; that Daddy Pig loves glitter and everyone loves glitter. Not even Oprah Winfrey would stoop to saying such a thing and she supports quackery like crazy. Jump cut back to the kitchen table and somehow, Peppa and George have teleported into the kitchen. This means, it's time to make a Father's Day cake. Only this time, it's not homemade chocolate cake, which would be the sensible thing to do, since Daddy Pig requested this earlier in the episode. However, Peppa is in full troll mode and George is helping this time instead of being the victim. So, this cake is made of cereal, which to be fair, is not a bad ingredient for making a cake. But again, this is Peppa Pig, so she wants to pour in tomato ketchup and even Mummy Pig is questioning this; but Peppa Pig don't care. George puts in the SMELLY BLUE CHEESE OF DOOM into the bowl; because why not?! And it's the legit one, not the plastic one Mr. Fox sold in the market. And it wouldn't be a baking spot without Peppa and George stirring the bowl with wooden spoons and making a giant mess out of it.

Oh, and Daddy Pig has had enough of television and comes in the kitchen with glitter still on the tummy asking what is going on. Well, besides Peppa's trolling, they are making a wacky cake and Peppa is already blowing off Daddy for looking. Daddy Pig closes his eyes and goes outside and Mummy Pig wants him to cut the grass now and Peppa protests this outrage because it's Daddy's Day (her words, not mine). So wait, today is the day that poem was written? But wait; this is Peppa Pig and she wants Daddy Pig to give her and George piggyback rides. What a troll Peppa Pig is?! And that is exactly what Daddy Pig does, because of course! Daddy Pig piggybacks the two down the hill as we see that somehow a picnic area has been set up with Teddie and George because it's tea time. So, they cosplay pouring of the tea as Peppa calls for Mummy Pig to bring out the WACKY CAKE OF DOOM in a bowl to Daddy Pig; with Peppa insisting that it will work. Daddy Pig takes a forkful and eats it. And his face goes silly and then he recoils and admits that he likes it. He loves Father's Day as everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. I think Daddy Pig should cut the grass now, this wasn't a good Father's Day for him. ** (40%). Most of the deducation was for the stupid glitter bomb joke that is staler than eight year bread.

Bat & Ball: The next episode is episode #288 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the school house on the hill as all the kids (minus Molly Mole, Wendy Wolf, Mandy Mouse, all the small kids except for George and the Panda Twins) run out of the school house and down to the two tree area where there are red cones set up like an arena. Gigi Gazelle has a red ball and a yellow bat in her hands, hence the episode title; only I put slightly more naunce into this. So, first up is catch and toss and Gigi of course throws the ball properly to Peppa and she catches it properly. Same thing happens with Peppa and Suzy. So, it's Danny Dog's turn and Suzy throws it into the sky and Danny fetches it complete with panting tongue, like a real dog. He returns with ball and no one cares. Considering his sexism in Series 5, I'm not going to call the writers out on that one. Since we are practicing the throwing, Gigi throws it to George and George misses the ball by eight feet basically. The narrator claims that George has dropped the ball and I think that was supposed to be the spot; but the ball appeared to not go even close to George's hands, so the spot was blown. Peppa points out the problem and Gigi wants George to throw the ball to Peppa. So, George throws the ball backwards at greatneck speed and I laugh my ass off on that. Danny fetches the ball and it's not nearly as funny. So, Gigi demonstrates the rules of engagement for this Bat & Ball game as Peppa is the pitcher, Suzy is the batter, Danny is the fetcher and Pedro F'N Pony is the belly itcher, I guess. Not the worst thing Pedro has ever done. The only difference between this and baseball is that if anyone has the ball in the infield, the batter is out. So, under Wii Sports Baseball rules then. Okay. George is the catcher and Gigi is the umpire of course. Suzy is taunting Peppa and claims that she is going to hit it 10,000 miles. You can tell the creators were trying to make this show a hit in the US, considering the imperial measurements, which is silly considering that 10,000 km would still be just as absurd as 10,000 miles. So, Peppa throws the ball, Suzy hits it over everyone's head and everyone including Suzy just stands there. Gigi tells her to run, Suzy sells and Peppa then yells at the team mates to get the ball, none of them do and Suzy gets an inside the park homerun even though the "park" thing is very suspect. Gigi praises Suzy for her home run despite not anyone in the outfield having the two clicks of the making of a clue. I expect this from Pedro Pony, but from Danny Dog?! C'MON MAN~! So, George's turn is next and Suzy bails. George gets the bat and Peppa is already not liking this prospect since George is too young. Oh, come on Peppa! Yeah, Molly is too young to be a tailgunner in Plunder and Lightning and that's understandable (cosplaying a tailgunner on Kit's back on the other hand...) but, Bat & Ball. Thankfully, Gigi blows her off on that one.

Peppa is not thrilled about this, but backs up and throws the ball at George. George hits the ball and it goes backwards for a foul ball in any sane universe. If I were George, I would run all the cones instantly and see if Gigi counts it as a point. And that's what George does and Gigi is perfectly fine with it, so there is no foul ball rule in this game. Peppa panics and Danny Dog at least fetches the ball this time and grabs it. Okay, Danny got the ball before George made it to third base, so George is out, amirite? Nope; George gets home and scores a point. So, you do have to catch the ball in the air to get an out. This is the worst defense in baseball history. Danny gives the ball back and Peppa don't care despite allowing two earned runs with the most clueless defense in baseball. Hawk Harrelson would blow a gasket if this team were the Chicago White Sox and it would be totally justified, homer announcer or not. So, it's Gigi Gazelle's turn to bat and Peppa is calling her too old, just to make sure she is ageist in both directions. If I were Peppa, I would find a new defense, because this one sucks big baseballs. Peppa backs up and tells her to do her best, like some famous last words. Oh wait...Peppa throws the ball and Gigi hits it a million miles according to Suzy and it's heading to the school house. Okay, I predict that the ball will go through the roof of the school house, because this show has not completely driven the leaky roof of doom angle far enough. At least this time, it's Gigi's fault. All the kids except for Peppa run west towards the ball and the ball hits the roof and the roof title breaks, so yes; the leaky roof angle MUST CONTINUE. The ball then goes into the opposite direction. As this was happening, Gigi already got the first point; but decides to get really greedy and try for a second point. And now she succeeds and tries to run for a third point. I betcha one of them gets the ball and all points for Gigi are nullified. So, all the kids run as Gigi is just running around thinking she's won and the kids dive in and do the American Football pile spot as Gigi proclaims that she's the champion and got all the points. The big kids all admit defeat and then out comes George with the ball in his hands and Gigi is officially out and all points she got are nullified. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Gigi praises George anyway and all the kids do the backsplash laugh with the narrator saying it all with Gigi doing the delayed backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. The usual silly stuff, although Gigi's greed at the end with George outsmarting her was priceless. *** (60%).

World Book Day: Here is episode #277 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the school house on the hill as we zoom into the room with Gigi Gazelle and almost literally all the kids (including the debut of Mandy Mouse for rant purposes), except for Wendy Wolf and the Panda Twins. The kids are giggling because they cannot help themselves as Gigi explains that it's World Book Day tomorrow and celebrate the wonders of book. I can sense 90% of Republicans trying to run to the exits right now. So, tomorrow, everyone must dress up as a character or their favorite book. I would love to see them reference Daddy Pig cosplaying a lump of concreate, but I doubt that will happen. Of course, Pedro F'N Pony, the personification of clueless asks to dress up as Super Potato; but Gigi no sells because Super Potato is on television and not in a book. So wait, Super Potato couldn't even get a comic book deal? Are comic book characters allowed? Are graphic novels allowed, too? Geez, whomever produces Super Potato hates even comic books and that makes me sad. Fairytales are fine since they are in books as the bell rings and we head outside to see all the parents arrive in their cars. Jump cut to the little house on the hill as Daddy Pig drives towards the back door and at least it is parked in a flatter side of the hill. Peppa and George enter the kitchen as Mummy Pig is at the kitchen table having tea. Peppa explains the assignment and Daddy Pig thinks this is going to easy since Peppa has lots of books, so let Peppa go into her room which has a lot of books on the floor. Book #1: Sleeping princess. Daddy Pig then reads the book and Peppa cuts him off for book #2 as the red monkey as Peppa is indecisive about this. So Daddy suggests Mummy Pig's book Funny Onion; and Peppa instantly blows it off because it's not a real book. What a troll Peppa Pig is?! I'm surprised Mummy Pig didn't call her out on that one. Sure, it had a funny cautionary tale about computer game nonsense and a story about an onion who made produce cry, but that was money. Well, the first copies of it anyway. Daddy Pig's reading the book made this even funnier in hindsight. It's great when the writers actually understand their own continuity and make it make sense. Mummy Pig blushes on that one as she brings out the fairy book and Peppa wants to dress up as a fairy.

George makes his choice obvious to anyone who has watched two episodes of this show on who he's cosplaying for World Book Day. And it's the pop-up book; always a treat to see. So, George is set; but Peppa cuts that off and now wants to be a duck. Peppa should try weightlifting, if her indecisiveness is any indication. Scene change to the little house on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as we zoom in and then jump cut to the bathroom as George is brushing his teeth with Mummy Pig looking on. Peppa comes in wearing a pirate's hat and her pirates book. So, she has basically decided to steal Danny Dog's gimmick now. By the way, the pirate on the book is the same one who was smart enough to not go inside the police station when George lost Mr. Dinesaur. Geez, I didn't know pirates brushed their teeth, although that might be because Mummy Pig asked her if they brushed their teeth and Peppa took the tooth brush and brushed her teeth. So, the kids all go to thier bunk beds and Peppa admits that she is not ready for World Book Day because she's indecisive. At be fair to Peppa; I'm like this a lot more often than most people give me credit for, so I know that sinking feeling. Daddy Pig lets Peppa decide in the morning and we go to bed. Jump cut to morning at the school house on the hill as all the kids run into the school with their costumes on. So Candy Cat is a witch, Pedro is basically the woodcutter from Little Red Riding Hood, so sadly; it is true that Super Potato never got a book deal comic or otherwise. Silly since Super Potato is supposed to be real in this world. Freddy is a police officer from Great Britian, Rebecca Rabbit is a carrot; so yes, there is a carrot anthro in a storybook. Danny is a sailor, but not a pirate; so Peppa could have choosen that and none would be the wiser. Suzy is a nurse, so the fairy was another one she could have chosen. So, Pedro blows the horn as I'm mistaken as Danny Dog is Dogbeard the Sailor, so the pirate one is out. I should also point out that the males picked their favorite characters because they are strong, brave and kind to old ladies. I don't know if Gigi should be happy or disappointed by this, since the same thing over and over again. Candy Cat at least breaks the repetition by claiming to turn Gigi into a frog after this is all over and she and Gigi have a hearty laugh over it. And in an amazing twist, Edmond actually decides to cosplay as the Funny Onion. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

See, someone did like Mummy Pig's book after all, so Peppa was right to not pick that one, but not for the reasons Peppa thinks anyway. Edmond picks off a random number and he's two; but Gigi is a teacher, so she cannot act like a cat with the human age of 42. I'll leave that as an exercise to the reader. George of course is a dinosaur and sadly, he doesn't show off the book because Gigi is more concerned about Peppa's choice and in comes Peppa cosplaying all of her favorite books and basically looks like a wacked out Wuzzle. Hey, she did a better job in decising her indecision than I ever could, so points to that. Peppa runs down her favorite books as Suzy basically gives Peppa the name and everyone laughs to end World Book Day at 4:30. By the way, I apologize for now doing all the kids and their costumes because the footage was on a shaky mobile phone and I couldn't tell most of the background characters, although Gerald seems to be Bob the Builder. Edmond and Peppa stole the show as usual and this was another fun episode in a series of them. Notice how better the show is when you actually pay attention and don't react? *** (60%).

Grandpa's Metal Detector: Here is episode #276 on the animation paper as we open on the white house on the hill as Daddy Pig's car arrives and parks on the steepest side of the hill...AGAIN! That will never end as Peppa and George jump out of the car and run down the hill towards the garden where Grandpa and Granny Pig are standing. Grandpa Pig has a watering can and I was begging him to repeat the Swimming incident with Peppa; but it doesn't happen, sadly. Probably for the best, though since George has a robot and water might short circuit it. George doesn't even bother addressing them as the kids show of George's new robot. It's not a dinosaur robot; but then again, we saw what happened the last time George had a dinosaur robot. The cost of batteries was murder on it, I tell ya! It's called Mister Robot; because every name has to be obvious on this show. Makes my life a lot easier to figure out; but not too creative at the same time. So, Peppa takes the robot and sets it down on it's feet on the ground and brings out the CLOCK KEY OF DOOM, explaining that this is the key for the robot to walk all by itself. The robot is yellow and is so square that it's too hip to be a robot from SquareEnix. Don't ask me, that's the best description I could give. So, Peppa puts the turn key into the robot's back and turns it. The robot starts walking on it's own and goes into the long grass, and apparently one of the grass blades plucks the key out of the robot and the robot stops moving. Grandpa Pig calls this impressive. I'm impressed that those long grass blades are so strong to do that. Or that turn key is the weakest piece of plastic I have ever seen. I wonder if this robot was sold by Mr. Fox; probably in bundles of three; knowing him. Peppa states the obvious and Granny blames Grandpa Pig for not cutting the grass, as if the grass was slowing it down, instead of one freak grass blade, which is harder than steel plucking the key out. What kind of grass seed is Grandpa Pig using is a better question. Peppa then notices the key is gone and this triggers George into bawling his eyes out. For rant purposes, this is the first episode in series 6 that George has bawled his eyes out. Let's see if he cries before this episode as this would be episode #12 for the season, I got sixteen more episodes to go.

Granny tells George not to worry because Grandpa Pig has a secret weapon to find metal keys used in robots as Grandpa Pig goes into the shed and instead of finding the lawn mower like Granny said, he's trying to find his metal detector. In a way, I can see why Grandpa Pig would do this, since if you mow the lawn with objects on it, you could easily break the lawn mower and cause injury to yourself and others. So, for once; Grandpa Pig is not an idiot. There's just one problem, the box Grandpa Pig brings out is empty. Still doesn't change my opinion on Granny Pig's opinion of cutting the grass first. So, Peppa just has to tell the truth like an inconsiderable troll and George bawls his eyes out again. I think this is the first time for rant purpose that Peppa Pig has trolled George. So, who comes to George's aid? Why it's Mr. Fox and his van as he is selling a wooden frying pan. That made me laugh. Granny claims that they have nothing for them to buy; but Grandpa Pig cuts her off and asks for a metal detector; which Mr. Fox has. Apparently; Grandpa Pig's old metal detector has three setting: Finding Things, Good At Finding Things and Really Good At Finding Things. This is kind of redundant. I would have asked; "do you have a spare clock key first", which I betcha comes in sets of 32. I'm more surprised that they killed the "sets of"gimmick for Mr. Fox; because that was hilarious. Everyone cheers as the babyfaces minus Mr. Fox go down the hill as Grandpa Pig is going to demonstrate the metal detector. He brings out a small coin and it has to be metal, unless these metal detectors are so good that they can find plastic gold. I doubt that one seriously as Grandpa puts the coin in front of Peppa and Grandpa Pig intentionally swings the metal detector to make sure to show what happened when it doesn't find the coin and Peppa is so clueless to notice that she's calling out Grandpa Pig to tell him "You put the coin in front of me"; and I'm paraphrasing here. Either she's clueless and cannot read the room; or she's trolling. I can believe both answers actually. Grandpa Pig points out the obvious and Peppa wants him to look for it here; so she's trolling. Grandpa swings the metal detector at the coin and the metal detector beeps like crazy; and he finds the coin. Peppa still calls him out for it, because Peppa Pig is a troll.

So, Peppa wants the metal detector and it's time to find things. First object found is a bent nail and this is smart because if you find everything, you can clean up the grass and then mow the lawn later without hurting anyone or damaging the equipment. They groan; but they keep on looking. Object #2 is a metal spoon which Granny finds. Peppa thinks this is fun, and it is fun; but George wants to find that pesky clock key for his robot. Object #3: George's key, so they didn't waste anymore time than they need too. Now, normally this means Cartoon Duck Syndrome would strike again, however; we still haven't found the original metal detector. Peppa wants to wind up Mr. Robot; but George cuts him off and grabs the key for safe keeping. No more blades of grass on turn keys until that lawn is mowed. Besides, we have to make sure all the objects are out of the grass before mowing anyway. Grandpa Pig tells him not to worry though; because the metal detector will find it as he places it near the grass and it goes haywire because he found the first metal detector. YAY! Everyone cheers as Grandpa Pig is so happy to find it because he now has two metal detector and he can use one or the other to find it. Peppa asks if both of them get lost and Grandpa Pig proclaims that he'll just mow the lawn. What a stupid idea?! Just because someone got lucky with the bouncy ball not damaging equipment and causing injury in a previous mowing episode within this show doesn't mean you will get lucky Grandpa Pig. He just couldn't resist being the enabler of Daddy Pig as everyone jumps for the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. I realize that he's making a joke; but it does make him look dumb, despite actually acting sensible all things considered. A fun episode otherwise. ** 3/4 (55%).

Buried Treasure: We end this rant with episode #289 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the little house on the hill with Peppa, George, Molly Mole and Freddy Fox running down the western hill. They make it to the bottom and stop as Peppa asks what they should play today and Molly suggests they do some digging, because; why not?! Peppa admits that her digging skills suck, and I think she has a sign of Imposter Syndrome, since I have seen her digging skills and they are perfectly acceptable. Molly shows off her digging skills for a while as she is literally digging a tunnel. Peppa, George and Freddy follow her giggling as this tunnel is so long that the only thing stopping Molly Mole is the CHEST OF DEMONS~! Molly almost loses her glasses as a result. Molly opens the treasure chest to find jewels and gold; probably all made of plastic. If so, I wonder if Mr. Fox sells them in sets of five?! Apparently, this is a pirate's treasure chest and it's a mystery; so let tell Daddy Pig; who is actually at DA...HOLE (Slurp!) that Molly just dug and he's wondering why this hole is there. The kids all pop up to inform him about the buried treasure and now Daddy has completely forgotten about the fact that Molly Mole dug a hole in the garden. No one knows about this; so Daddy Pig brings out the cell phone and decides to ring in the police. So, even if this treasure actually belongs to the police, none of them can get charged with theft, so good job show. This logically leads to the police station and inside the office with Officer Grey Squirrel and Officer Panda, with Panda eating more donuts, for no reason that I can think of. Hey, if you want to go with cheap stereotypes, have the officer be a beaver. Gray Squirrel answers the phone and it's Daddy Pig about to tell them they found something and Gray Squirrel cuts him off and proclaims that they are right now. Please show, let her think Daddy Pig found a dead body and Daddy Pig says no. I know that this a pre-school show; but that would be so Peppa Pig of the writers to pull off that spot. So, the officers are in their police cars with sirens on the boring road as they arrive at Daddy Pig's garden doing their usual trice hello spot.

Freddy greets them back with the same spot because he wants to be a policeman when he grows up. I just love that Gray Squirrel already knows that it's pirate treasure underground despite the fact that she cut off Daddy Pig before Daddy Pig could tell her what the kids found. I'm kind of disappointed, actually. So, everyone is in the tunnel going to the chest and Officer Panda grabs the chest and leaves with it. But wait, gold coins are dropping on the ground like a trail as the anthros reach the surface. So, everyone gets into the police car and Grey Squirrel drives west (and yes, the car has flipped in the opposite direction magically) as Freddy Fox is chanting with the siren all the way to the police station. HAHA! He's really getting a lot of milage out of this dream, isn't he? So, everyone heads downstairs as we are shown all the lost objects, including a lost lamp post. Oh come on guys; that one was towed away because Grey Squirrel gave it a ticket. It's so obvious! There is a green storage area where they keep the pirate treasure and the officers open it to reveal nothing...AND THE ROCK SAYS NOTHING~! Yup, the pirate treasure inside has gone missing. Another mystery as they say. If you cannot guess where the pirate treasure is, you have no business reading this rant. So, Freddy notices a hole in the wall, which looks awfully familiar and Panda claims that it is the work of a criminal mastermind. I cannot picture Molly Mole being a master mind of anything, let alone a criminal. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Yeah, forgot about her digging skills. So, they head inside and notice the trail of gold coins (probably made of plastic) and it's clear where this treasure chest came from now, since it's the same hole Molly Mole dug. They follow the trail of golden coins and Panda drops more coins to complete the trail; I don't know why they bothered since it wouldn't have changed the finish any. They make it to the house and the trail of the golden coins has gone cold. Sadly, the writers do not use those terms as it is still a mystery.

So, Freddy actually confesses that we took it, and he means everyone involved in finding the chest. So, we head back in the hole in the opposite direction as Freddy explains that they didn't know that Molly dug a hole through the wall (and the storage area wall in the process, so really crappy craftsmenship on that cupboard there) and that the treasure chest was part of the lost storage. They made it through the storage area and into the police station as Freddy completes the confession and everyone cheers. Panda praises Freddy's work as a police officer and might be one someday. Panda also proclaims that he should keep his eyes and ears open, and somehow the lamp post teleports right in perfection position for Panda to turn around and bump into it like a hard anvil. HAHA! And of course, Grey Squirrel gives it a ticket for being a danger to society. HAHA! Panda declares that a police officer's job is never done and that the pirate treasure mystery is solved. Everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. The next mystery should be how the lamp post teleported into that position for Panda to nail himself into it, since it was behind Panda the whole time before they returned to the police station. Episode was fun, but the finish could be spotted five miles away. *** (60%).

Recorders: This is episode #268 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the school house on the hill as we zoom in with Gigi playing a recorder while the kids (Peppa, Candy, Pedro, Danny, Emily, Zoe, Rebecca, Suzy, Freddy, Molly, Gerald and Mandy Mouse in her first appearance since her debut. No Wendy Wolf this time around)look on. Gigi stops playing and the kids all do the clap. You see, today the children are going to play music on an instrument called a recorder. Gigi has a plastic box containing various colors of recorders as each one takes out a recorder. Gigi asks if anyone knows how to play the recorder and Peppa -- troll extraordinarie -- proclaims that you blow in it (what she said was hilarious on so many levels, most of them lowbrow...) and she demonstrates it with a decibal level that would make my ears bleed. At least Tatuu is singing and can pull it off without any help from music whatsoever and has been working the voice so to speak. Gigi's ears cringe more than her cringe eye it seems. At least recorders don't blow out glitter...yet. Gigi claims that it's a horrible squeaky noise and not music. Do we have to go over Move to Music again with the broken tape recorder?! Peppa blows and it sounds better already. Gigi then states that to make music -- and Danny Dog counters that it's not horrible and Peppa and Danny giggle, so they are up to something horrible-- , Gigi plays "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" -- which I confused with Baa, Baa, Black Sheep (Thanks Peppa for pointing that out to me.) -- since both musically sound really similar to each other. Lyrics help here believe it or not. Gigi also states that music is made from notes and plays more Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. The trick according to Gigi is to play the notes in the right order and plays some more. Peppa thinks this is easy and blows it, both literally and musically. This is too easy in the making of potshots. Danny thinks he's got it and he really blows it like a dog whistle. Then Emily tries it and blows it, although hers sounds the best thus far. Probably because she played the recorder in an earlier episode.

Then everyone tries it and fails that Gigi demands that they stop this at once before she witnesses her own personal hell. Okay, maybe not. Gigi calls this not music and Danny claims that it's horrible noise. Heh. So, Emily and Peppa admit that they didn't play it properly, so it's time to learn each note as Gigi plays the first note and the kids do a much better job, but the sound is still off for them. Emily calls it hard and Gigi claims that it gets easier with practice. It also gets easier when you are not under pressure, too. Gigi plays the next note and the kids still sound off key; but Gigi likes that one anyway. Cut to outside as all the parents park their cars on the steepest sides of the hill. Mr. Wolf is here despite not seeing Wendy Wolf one time during this episode. Oops. I don't even think he had his car present in the scene, so...why is he here? All the kids run out as Gigi comes out to tell them to practice because it makes perfect. Well, Donald Trump cruelity is dead on perfect, that is for sure. Gigi then hums the same tune she was playing earlier and we jump cut to the little house on the hill with Peppa playing her recorder in the back seat of Mummy Pig's car as Mummy Pig drives her home and parks on the steepest side of the hill...AGAIN! Peppa (still playing the recorder) walks in and Daddy Pig isn't all that thrilled about it, but he plays along. Daddy gets off the practice makes perfect line and Peppa plays more noise, just to annoy him, I think. Peppa asks for help and Daddy Pig agrees, while Mummy Pig shows her true colors and bails for upstairs, because in storyline, Peppa's playing sucks so hard that Mummy Pig cannot stand it. Daddy Pig has a smile that reads, "don't let her think I hate this", but Peppa's eye contact on Daddy Pig means she is not fooled. Then we hit the montage with the other kids playing the recorder and the parents' body language is that they simply want this assignment to end quickly. I guess the castle project really broke them after all. Captain Dog asks to end the session, but Danny Dog no sells because he has to get it right. Now THIS is where "Perfection Is the Enemy of the Good" is not a logical fallacy.

Captain Dog is smiling and the glass bottle boat on the desk is this close to shattering. Luckly, it does not. Jump cut to morning as all the kids and parent arrive as the school house on the hill and enter inside. All the parents sit down in chairs as the students get on stage with their recorders. The narrator informs us that they have been practicing for a solid week now. So, Gigi addresses the adults who have arrived to see on stage all the kids with their recorders. Gigi stands back and gives the signal to the children to play "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" and they do, and despite playing the notes properly and in the right order, it still sounds like an organized horrible squeaky sound. The adults have smiles that read "This is total BS, but I cannot punch down on the kids, so I must smile." It looks completely phony. Daddy Pig then gets up and claps his hands and yells bravo; but gets cut off anyway. So Daddy Pig is the only one who is selling this like it's the best thing ever and not like a phony person. That's extremely telling. Daddy Pig realizes he's screwed, blushes like an idiot and sits down. HAHA! The song finally ends and everyone is clapping and cheering. Gigi says that the kids worked hard and Mummy Pig says "yes, it was a very good experience" in such a way that she looks like she wants to be somewhere else. Her promo sounds really fake to me. Then Daddy Pig basically confesses that this was the payoff to a week of practice at home. Of course! Daddy thinks it's all over; but Gigi proclaims that there is a concert next week, and the kids will be practicing the Peppa Pig opening theme song. HAHA! Gigi wants them to practice trice and the kids already have the song down; although their volume is so high that the parents and Gigi are feeling it like their blowing is creating windbags to end the episode at 4:30. Everyone giggles after that one. I was perfectly fine with this ending, but it wasn't anything special. ** 1/2 (50%).

THE REVIEW LINE

So; another eight episodes of Peppa Pig are in the books. Most of them were fun; although Father's Day wasn't good. To be fair to that one, most of the deduction was on the glitter bomb joke that ceases being funny anymore. TV Land was really great and it served the purpose of explaining how Peppa Pig became a show within the confines of the story itself. I also loved the ending to the Super Potato Movie for Miss Rabbit resucing the super hero and getting her due, but she really needs to stop her gimmick now. I also liked Grandpa Pig for once actually being sensible and Granny Pig actually being a fool since cutting the grass at that time was in fact a dangerous move, until the ending when he looked dumb again, but what can you do? Overall, the usual mixed bag. So, I finished the back end of Series 6 episodes and I will next time start the remaining two 8 episode reviews of Peppa Pig as Mandy Mouse makes her debut! The Panda Twins have Chinese New Year in the world of Peppa Pig! Pizza! Pizza! Grandpa has his birthday! And finally, a children's festival plagued by lots of muddy puddles! Of course! So...

Thumbs up for TV Land, thumbs down for Father's Day and thumbs in the middle for the rest and I'll see you all next time.

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