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Peppa Pig: Series Six #7 Rant

Reviewed: 10/31/2020

Peppa's Brain Has Gone Into The Hitatus!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. So, today we get ice cream, go to the science museum, play the jukebox, make sand castles, see windmills and Mandy Mouse finally gets her birthday episode. How do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Ice Cream: Next up is episode #311 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the white house on the hill at the front with Grandpa Pig watering his garden, Granny sitting down in a chair and the kids giggling and about to throw the spotty ball as we get the ice cream jingle and here comes the ice cream truck and to my surprise, Miss Rabbit is not driving it this time. It's someone much, much more worse: Mr. Labadour, the same piece of crap that guilt-trip Mummy Pig into paying for a game using sexist comments. I would not be patronizing that ice cream truck and run like the wind, a westerly wind. So, naturally; everyone runs in. Mrs. Cat and her family show up and asks about the vanilla being nice; and Mr. Labo is clueless and proceeds to eat the ice cream, lick the ice cream and then mess up his clothes in the process. The narrator states that this is his first day on the job, which gives me no confidence whatsoever either. And then he checks the strawberry flavor by repeating the spot and turns him into a jobber; which he already was, only worse. At least check the flavors at the shop before you dress up. So, the lineup for ice cream is much bigger and no one is walking away from this maniac. And they keep repeating the damn spot! STOP IT~! So, after the Wolf family get their ice cream, it's Peppa Pig's turn and lo and behold; there's no ice cream left. This is the worst ice cream man in history and George bawls his eyes out and rightfully so, I might add. What a freaking asshole this Mr. Labo is?! Mr. Labo loves ice cream; but hates being clean; which is magically wiped away once they get into the white house on the hill. Mr. Labo lets them into his truck and he drives them home complete with that annoying ice cream jingle. So, we head to the kitchen as we get the ingredients on the table. Time for the ice cream version of How It's Made as Peppa decides to have raspberries and strawberries; so it's the crimson berry ice cream! They go in and it's time for a...MUSIC BREAK~! Damn; and this episode was starting to get better, mostly because Mr. Labo hasn't done anything since getting them into the truck.

So, apparently; you don't need an ice cream maker; you simply put it in a freezer bag, then put the freezer bag into a container of ice and salt, then wrap it in a towel and then shake it for five minutes, which is more than the entire episode itself. So, Peppa speeds up time by invoking the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM on it. Everyone gets a turn, including Mr. Labo; who just shakes the container and nothing else. Granny shakes the container and we open it up to reveal: ice cream! Yeah; Peppa's bio clock is much faster than the real world's by a factor of at least ten. So, they eat the ice cream and Peppa gets inspired because she wants to share this ice cream with their friends and this is considered a wonderful idea. So, we head outside as the ice cream truck is riding among the country side with Mr. Labo driving, Peppa, George, Granny and Grandpa Pig in the back wearing ice cream hats. So, the truck stops and Peppa calls this the best ice cream in the world as all of Peppa's friends run in and Peppa hands out ice cream; and instantly is better at selling them than Mr. Labo. SAD! They have banana flavored ice cream and even carrot flavored ice cream, although Peppa wasn't sure they had it. Three guesses who loved that ice cream and the first two don't count. Mr. Labo really loves ice cream and eats his ice cream, cone and all as everyone except the guys in the truck do the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. This was a brutal episode at first; but it got back to respectibility at the end. And I predict a week before Mr. Labo gets fired and Miss Rabbit is back on the job stressed out...AGAIN! ** (40%).

Science Museum: Here is episode #312 on the animation paper and episode opens at the science museum, which looks like any capital building in the USA as Miss Rabbit's bus arrives with Gigi Gazelle driving it. They all get out. Absent: Wendy Wolf, Zoe Zebra and the little kids; except for Edmond Elephant. Because this is science and we need Edmond to be a smartass in this episode. Everyone goes inside and of course the curator of the museum is the joke that never ends despite eveything getting sick of it and feels sad for the joke itself: Miss Rabbit. And speaking of jokes, at least they didn't erase their memories on the being in a museum, that would have sucked. Miss Rabbit proclaims that they can look, but not touch because everything is fragile as hell. This proves to be a lie as Miss Rabbit bumps into a vase and it doesn't shatter on cue. However, they are head to the science museum area where touching is not only allowed, it's encouraged. So, Suzy is pushing buttons on the rainbow colored bubble machine to make bubbles of course. Danny Dog is smashing balls for fun (must...clean.. my...head...after...this...rant.) Freddy Fox and Molly Mole admire the static electric mouclear cell display as Molly calls it spooky. Peppa demonstrates the pully machine with weights; and her noodle arms are too thin to lift that weight. So, we head to the second pully machine; which has a different design and the weight seems bigger, which doesn't matter because Peppa pulls it up. I betcha the weight is gimmicked; as Miss Rabbit is about to explain the thing, but Edmond Elephant cuts his science promo of doom and it's clear now that they have removed the "clever clogs" gimmick from him as well, as he's merely clever. Freddy Fox, Gigi, Pedro F'N Pony and Peppa are on the western end of the tube and suddenly they hear Suzy Sheep's voice and everyone is confused as Freddy wants to investigate this mystery and the kids simply skip around stage right as we see Suzy on the other end shouting into the wacky phone of doom. Gigi just has to be a dumb idiot because she thinks it could be used to talk to people from long distances. Molly: Like a telephone? I died. I mean, Gigi has a freaking cell phone on her person. How could she make that kind of mistake? That's the mistake Pedro Pony makes, or more recently Danny Dog!

Gigi admits that she screwed up as we head to the balloon container with Miss Rabbit taking out a green balloon and rubbing it on her tummy. I should point this out: Miss Rabbit calls them magic balloons; which sounds absurd until you realize the old adage that the best science is that you think it's literally magic. That's why when Suzy says "It's magic, right?" and Daddy Pig says "yes"; it never fails to make me laugh. Miss Rabbit sticks a balloon to the wall due to the old science of static cling and it's time for a...MUSIC BREAK~! And Mandy calls it magic of course, which Miss Rabbit corrects her and then admits that she has zero clue what she is talking about, so Edmond has to run in to save the day...And then we get the RAINBOW EXPLOSION OF DEATH...in a pre-school cartoon. In comes the last person you would expect to dab in science...Grampy Rabbit. So, we head to the science table as Grampy Rabbit proclaims that it's time for some dangerous science. Wait, so Grampy Rabbit is a Darkwing Duck fan?! Sod off, Grampy; you are much better than that! Oh and Grampy Rabbit is a responsible adult at this. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, Grampy. The explosions say you are full of youself...just like Drake Mallard. Next up; a mine cart that has a rocket motif, and Gigi is questionning the safety of this and Grampy blows her off. I would believe Grampy before Gigi on this one as Peppa gets in and they do the push spot as Edmond is not in evidence here. Next up; a real rocket. No, not really. It's the same model rocket found in The Golden Boots, only this one is actually sturdy. So, they need someone small and Edmond Elephant hops into the rocket as Grampy claims that it completely flies itself with the remote control device. That's not the question Gigi wanted answered and Grampy pushes the button and Edmond and the rocket fly high in the sky. Belinda and one of the Panda twins make an appearance as they tease breaking the high ceiling and then the rocket goes down complete with parachute. The rocket lands without incident as Edmond gets out and loves it. Peppa calls it brilliant and Gigi calls it unbelievable as everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. Once again, Grampy Rabbit takes a fun episode and really makes it great. However, he's so much better than Darkwing Duck. **** 1/4 (85%).

Jukebox: The next episode is episode #313 on the animation paper as we open the episode at the docks as Grandpa's sailboat arrives at the dock. Out comes the grandparents, Peppa and George with the kids wearing life jackets and not the adults. Grandpa Pig ties down the sailing ship as he wants some juice in the clubhouse; but Granny Pig thinks the clubhouse is too stuffy. Grandpa don't care; he wants some juice and so does Peppa. So we head into the small clubhouse as we see Mr. Wolf and Granny Wolf sleeping at a table in the background. So, after Grandpa Pig shows off his membership card to the bartender (I have no clue who he is and I don't care) and orders the drinks; here comes Mr. Stallion and Mrs. Corgi to annoy Grandpa Pig again. Mr. Stallion of course talks normally and everyone shh's him. He did apologize for that though. So, yes; everyone in the foreground and background are sleeping; so they have to do the episode whisper yelling. It's like whisper yelling your plan; but you have no plan and you are not waking everyone up. Everyone seems to be a light sleeper in this show; and I speak from experience. So, barely a minute in, we see the dreaded jukebox and Peppa likes music; but it hasn't been used in a long time since Granny blows dust away from it. In comes Grandpa Pig with the tray containing glasses of orange juice. So, they drink juice and then they completely abandoning the whisper yell gimmick and talk in a normal volume and the sleepers suddenly become heavy sleepers since no one sells it. The logic is really bad in this episode. Grandpa Pig doesn't want the jukebox to be played because it might wake them up. If their voices couldn't wake them up; music isn't going to do the job either. Besides, why have a jukebox in the clubhouse if you don't want any noise? Again, bad logic. So, Granny Pig inserts a coin into the jukebox and it lights up with loud sounds. The sleepers no sell this, so Granny Pig wants to play rock and roll music, the loudest music in all the world. I know some will say Death Metal's louder; but they aren't going to allow that in this show, so work with me here...Granny pushes the button and the music is so generic that it's basically "Rock and Roll" over and over again. The Rockers singing their own theme song was much better than this and that was horrible and I'm not saying that because Jimmy Hart told me so. Peppa and George dance to their doom, not amused. Ironically, the only one who sells this is Mr. Stallion who is awake and protesting this outrage. Yes; the guy who woke some of the patrons up with his loud mouth is protesting this noise. But wait; it's only noise because it's Rock & Roll. Mr. Stallion loves DISCO BABEE~! Geez; my respect for him goes up about five notches now. Grandpa Pig does apologize for the noise; but Mr. Stallion is so cheap that he wants a coin from Grandpa Pig and gets it. So, Mr. Stallion inserts a coin and it's DISCO FEV....MUSIC BREAK~! -ER~! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! This 35 second thing inserted into the videos for copyright reasons is the most awesome thing ever!

And somehow this wakes everyone up; due to the fact that there is an earthquake happening at the same time. I betcha Mr. Stallion blames Grandpa Pig for this mess, too. Peppa and George don't care because they love dancing as Mrs. Corgi run in to protest this outrage. However, not because it's too noisy, it's because she hates disco. Sod off, you bigot! She thinks hip-hop is better. Okay; let's insert that coin that Grandpa Pig is forced to give. Doesn't anyone outside of Grandpa Pig keep any small change on their person in this cartoon? And of course, Peppa basically snitches Grandpa Pig out because she's a troll, you see. So, Mrs. Corgi puts in the coin and we get the most generic hip hop in history. The writers literally think it's a song rather than a style. And somehow, hip hop is related to the robot dance move according to the writers. Peppa is so amused that earthquakes are now happening for some reason and it's not caused by jumping up and down. Now, everyone is dancing and no one is protesting, so the sleeping was just a decoy. The doors open and in comes Grampy Rabbit to crash the party and outsmarts the bartender just to confuse Grandpa Pig...AGAIN! That was funny. So, Grandpa Pig asks what music Grampy Rabbit likes and he of all people picks... wait for it...Heavy metal; which he pronounces it as Heavy Mental. I died and went to heaven. He might as well call himself Spooks The Ghost Lad and get it over with. Considering I see a lot of Peppa Pig videos edited; someone should re-edit the video with Bryan Alaverz's Granny's voice onto Granny Pig, just for the hell out of it. And of course, it's the loudest music of all and the only one with no lyrics. Grampy Rabbit even uses the broom to play air guitar in a really neat touch as everyone is dancing to the music as the narrator claims that everyone loves dancing to music...except that Grandpa Pig is just standing there wondering how this all went so wrong. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This episode ends at 4:30. Sadly, the video cut out in the middle of the credit run as it's a black background with Grampy Rabbit singing so badly I was laughing my ass off. You all know what this episode is getting. There is your best episode of Series 6 right there! ***** (100%).

Windmill: Next up is episode #314 on the animation paper as episode opens at the school house on the hill as the kids all run down the hill and start playing in the playground on various sets. Absent: George, Richard, Zoe Zebra, The Panda Twins. Here comes Mr. Bull and he apologizes about the noise. How about apologizing for digging up the school floor in the last episode you were directly in?! That would be a better apology than some non-existant noise. Then the noises start and in comes Mr. Labo and Mr. Rhino with drillers and diggers as Mr. Bull cuts his promo and it's so earnest and honest that his face is suddenly the most punchable face in the show. Like I said before, calling him boomer is surprisely accurate. The kids and Gigi aren't too concerned about this as they want to see what it is as Mr. Labo drills a hole and the first guess is a swimming pool from Molly Mole. That's reasonable; but it's not as a giant metal cone is inserted into the hole. So, it's a rocket, but even Suzy Sheep thinks this is BS as it has petals on it. A metal flower? It looks like it; but it's really a windmill. How funny that Peppa figured it out by herself. What a surprise, she is the star of this show after all. Edmond basically explains what windmills do in a nutshell. In a BIG shock; the narrator actually calls him a CLEVER CLOGS~! Okay, I was wrong; I think the writers realized that they drove the jokes into the ground way too much now and they have smarten up to that. So, after some dream sequences of various objects turning on because of electricy, Gigi also reveals that it comes out from the bottom end. I'm more surprised Edmond didn't cut her off then, because it sounded really dumb. So, everyone goes into the school and to the table because it's time to make windmills. With paper, plastic straws, scissors, pins and glue. We do some How It's Made stuff for a while and once it's done....Oldie but goodie:

John Cena: I'm like a pinwheel, so you can go ahead and blow me!

Which is what Gigi does. And I'm certain a few readers of this site will need some brain bleach after that one too. And yes, a grownup has to use the scissors, because safety scissors are no longer safe. But glue is still safe to use as Freddy literally overdoes it. And yes, even a grownup has to insert a pin into the pinwheel, which is literally what they are making. So, all the kids start blowing into the pinwheels, and they all work...except for Edmond Elephant. Wow; I didn't think they had the guts to make EDMOND look stupid, but here we are. So, basically; the kids all have to blow hard to make the pinwheel work. And no, it is not as big as Mr. Bull's windmill. So, Gigi decides to go outside with the kids to see if the destructive adults are ready with their windmill and Gigi says it like a pro-wrestler in the 1980's would cut said promo. So, everyone goes to Mr. Bull's windmill as it is making electricy...to heat up Mr. Bull's coffee maker. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Leave it up to Mr. Bull to make something so useful look so damn useless. So, the workers sit down at the foldable table to have tea. Of course! Everyone approves of it as they all laugh to end the episode at 4:30. Dumb finish aside, it was hilarious and an otherwise fun episode. *** (60%).

Mandy Mouse's Birthday: Next is episode #315 on the animation paper as the episode opens at CHEESE WORLD~! Two seconds in and I'm laughing at this. Also, an episode showing Zoe Zebra entering the park. How about that?! Sadly, she is not part of the group entering the park with Mandy Mouse. Besides Mandy, we see Peppa, Molly, Suzy, Pedro, Gerald and Rebecca Rabbit. No Danny Dog, the Panda Twins nor the little kids. Either they are ill; or they are bigots. Wendy Wolf entered before Mandy by the way. Mandy spins her wheelchair around and proclaims that it's the fun park of all time! She loves to cheese it up, so to speak. This is good cheese though, so it all works out. Miss Rabbit of course is the ticket vendor, because the writers still think the gimmick of dozens of jobs is still funny. She is so giddy about this that she might be the next Monteray Jack. See what I did there? Oh, and Mandy Mouse has been here before and likes the place, so they aren't going to show spots where there is no wheelchair accessability; which is a nice bonus. So, everyone enters and Miss Rabbit does the tour, in which Mandy Mouse keeps cutting her off because she has been here before. I guess we need two supervising adults due to the large crowd, but can you find someone else other than Miss Rabbit? How about Mummy Rabbit? So, we do the cheese river rafting (MAX: 5 persons and social distancing is impossible by the way) for a while as sadly, the boats are made of plastic with a cheese motif. I betcha the cheese river is really water with a cheese colored dye. Let's see if Peppa asks the question on that...She doesn't. Odd. The cheese mountain is also plastic and is another tunnel of love, only cheesy love. So, they get off and Mr. Rabbit is showing off the cheese airplane, that is connected to the ground by a pole. Think slot car track and you are almost there. Mummy Mouse helps Mandy out of her wheelchair into the cheese airplane, which of course is plastic. Mandy demonstrates the controls and somehow at least three airplanes show up out of nowhere. Not really a logic break since they are slot airplanes and there's a slot hole in the ground.

Everyone gets in their airplanes and off we go as somehow there are cheese suns and clouds despite clearly being in mid-air. The kids are all amused by the shot as if everyone is on some sort of small globe. So, we make it to the end as Mummy Mouse helps Mandy back into her wheelchair and everyone gets out. And, oh my god; it's Grampy Rabbit with a cheese hat on again! That deserves a * just for that, because Grampy Rabbit is awesome! So, this castle of cheese is the best bit because the cheese here is not plastic, it's the real thing. Sadly, it's not the actual castle, that would have sucked and Grampy Rabbit probably would hate life. So, everyone goes into the castle of cheese and it's basically them sniffing various cheeses because good cheese is the smelly cheese. The kids liked the first one, but Grampy Rabbit wasn't impressed. Next up is stronger smelling cheese and he liked this one more. Pedro smells and apparently, he remembers how stinky Daddy Pony's socks are. Ouch! The kids all giggle as Grampy Rabbit takes them to the piece de smelly resistance which is the smallest cheese of the three with green smells that appear that this cheese was made in a toxic waste dump. Even Mandy Mouse is worried about Grampy Rabbit's well being here; that was good. Grampy smells the cheese and then he faints dead away. I died on that one. And then he stops selling, sits up and laughs. That was funny and now Mandy Mouse is perfectly fine about him now. Mandy smells it and totally no sells it, because she's a mouse who loves cheese. This makes sense actually. So, we dim the lights and here comes a cheesecake, literally made of Swiss Cheese. Mandy calls this her best birthday ever as everyone giggles to end the episode at 4:30; which sadly means she never got to blow out the candles. Doesn't matter; this is one of the better birthday episodes, all thanks to cheese and Grampy Rabbit of course. It's the cheesiest birthday in the series, that is for sure. **** 1/2 (90%). Wow, three thumbs up episodes due to Grampy Rabbit's involvement, he's on fire!

The Sand Castle: Here is episode #316 and the final episode of Series 6 on the animation paper as episode opens at the beach as the car arrives. The Pig family is in their swimming costumes as they make to close to the shore line with buckets and shovels because it's sandcastle time~! Peppa will show us how, and she's implying that the adults cannot do this despite Daddy Pig being the one showing them that. Peppa is still a troll. At least it's a lot more like the writers are erasing previous series than Peppa being an actual troll, but it still amuses me. In comes Pedro F'N Pony wearing the most ill fitting swim trunks in history. Pedro likes the sand castles; but he thinks that they are thinking way too small. Speak for yourself, you ugly American~! Anyhow; he creates a wall around the sand castle. Oh my goodness; he does support Donald Trump! He is an ugly American! And this gaslights the Pigs into building a wall. DAMN! So, after that display of ugliness, in comes Wendy Wolf with Mr. Wolf as Mr. Wolf is still doing the Big Bad Wolf gimmick; but nothing further comes out of it. Wendy suggest building a huge sandcastle in the middle; and all the kids present dig sand into the center of the sand fence with four sandcastles as points. They make a giant hill in the process as Peppa shovels sand into the bucket and makes another sandcastle on the top. Wendy then finds some conveniently placed colored stones and puts them on top of the fence, calling them bobbly bits. We call them sticking out bricks, but whatever. Peppa proclaims that this also needs.....MUSIC BREAK~! ...flags. Which they collect little sticks and some pieces of seaweed. So, the flags are made and posted. Pedro uses sea shells for the windows. Mummy then wants a moat which confuses Pedro (somethings never change...) and so they all dig outside the castle walls digging a trench for the moat. Somehow, they did this without the sand landing inside the walls; and then the kids take buckets to the shore line and fill them with water. They return and pour the water into the trench to create the moat; this goes on for a good long while. The castle is finished; but Peppa has wet dreams that cannot be filled.

In comes Mr. Crab; who has no relation to Mr. Krabs from Spongebob Squarepants, thank the writers for small favors! The crab looks sad and the kids offer the crab the castle to live in; but the crab cannot cross the moat, so they need a bridge. George runs to the shoreline and grabs a conveniently placed piece of driftwood and places it across the moat for the bridge. The crab crosses the bridge, but he cannot climb the walls; so Mummy Pig punches out a door for it. The crab walks inside and walks up and gets up to the top of the castle. The anthros all declare him the king of castle, which makes the anthros nothing but dirty rascals, which is perfectly accurate. Peppa declares this the best sandcastle in the world and everyone laughs to end the episode and the series at 4:30. Just your average Peppa Pig love in and really disappointing, although to be honest, they had to follow Jukebox (and even Mandy Mouse's birthday) and had no chance in hell of pulling it off. *** (60%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well, this was a surprisely good batch of episodes this time around. Grampy Rabbit had a huge hand in making Science Musuem, Mandy Mouse's Birthday and Jukebox much better than they already were. I loved Jukebox so much, even more so during the finish and ending because only Grampy Rabbit would enjoy Heavy Metal and still come off as an old fart with funny tastes. Science Musuem is also funny since we have to accept Grampy Rabbit as a mature adult, which is hilarious. Ice Cream was really disappointing because Mr. Labo is a bad character; although once he got all the badness of his system, the rest of the episode was all right. The rest were the usual episodes. I will say that the MUSIC BREAK~ gimmick was funny and it made the episodes ever more watchable than if the gimmick didn't exist so, there's that.

And that ends Series 6 of Peppa Pig! The fatigue in this series is becoming more and more obvious now as most of the fun gimmicks have been shuttered for being too problematic even in this show; or they have been reduced for being used way too much. On the other hand, outside of Doctor Hamster being buried by Grampy Rabbit of all people; Grampy Rabbit is now the best character of the show since Miss Rabbit's gimmick is becoming sadder and sadder as time goes on. Most of the other characters have been toned down and Danny Dog in particular is becoming dumber and more of a sad kid in hindsight. Although I have not heard nor read of a Series 7 coming, COVID-19 might delay that show for a while to come since most of the Series 6 episodes are copyrighted in 2019 before COVID-19 became a thing. I doubt the show is ending though; there is way too much money being made here to end it, unless the creators themselves want to try something new and it might be in their best interest to take Peppa Pig in a new direction, especially with the new voice of Peppa taking over. Still, when Grampy Rabbit is around, Peppa Pig is awesome, so there's that. So...

Thumbs up for Science Museum, Mandy Mouse's Birthday Jukebox; thumbs down for Ice Cream and thumb in the middle for the rest and I'll see you all next time.

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