Return to 50 Webs

Disclaimer#1: All images, characters and material is (C) 1990/1991 Walt Disney Company and is being used without permission. The webmaster has made sure that no money was made in the creation of this web page and that all material used here is used with the up most affection and respect to the Walt Disney Company and the Tale Spin Team.

Disclaimer#2:The views expressed here are solely the views of the webmaster and no one else. The webmaster has no intentions to change anyone's minds about a particular subject and respects the views of the viewers. Comments about this and other editorial can be E-Mail at gweagle@eastlink.ca or signing the Cloudkicker guest book.

Peppa Pig Series Seven #1 Rant

Reviewed: 03/31/2021

Grandpa Pig VS. The World Of Birds!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Next up for the family of puddle jumping anthroed pigs is some motorbiking to the beach to protect Grandpa Pig's fruit, lots of winking, two kids play criminals (no, not really), Miss Rabbit gets rescued (AGAIN!), a creepy safari with the return of Mr. Lion and playing mini golf. Also, I do have a little surprise for everyone on the Review Line and how it ties to future rants of Peppa Pig. So, how do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Motorbiking!: Next up is episode #322 and #323 on the animation paper as the episode opens in Grandpa Pig's garden near the shed as Grandpa Pig, Peppa and George are harvesting strawberries and at least there are three bushes worth of raspberries instead of one bush with one strawberry in Series 6. Suddenly, a brown bird flies in and starts to cause trouble, as usual. I just love how the narrator claims that the bird is merely looking at the raspberries a second before the bird eats one and burps. Trolls, trolls are everywhere in the world of Peppa Pig. Grandpa Pig protests this outrage as the bird flies away because it's cheeky as usual. Everyone loves raspberries. In comes Granny Pig to inform them that she wants to go camping today and Grandpa Pig is not thrilled about that one, because birds are eating his berries. The kids like it, so Grandpa Pig thinks camping in the garden is a wonderful idea. Granny doesn't want that, she wants to camp somewhere else. Grandpa Pig then points out that their car is at Granddad Dog's garage. I was ranting these episodes out of order (in fact; the two parter is in fact the last episodes I reviewed); so I thought that the car Mr. Stallion was driving was Grandpa Pig's. That would have made me laugh. So, the car is in the shop; so time to bring out the big motorbike of doom as we HIT THE FLASHBACK~! They look like the oldest, crustiest motorcycling biking gang stereotypes you ever saw, just having the time of their lives biking with a guitar on their person for fun. Also funny. They also look the same, minus the color of their hair as we return to reality (no, not really). Grandpa claims that this is a long time ago; but Granny Pig don't care. So, the family heads into the wood shed and Granny Pig opens the covers to reveal the motorbike which looks like it has never been used once in their lives. Someone is doing a work without winking, I see. There is a side car for Peppa and George to sit in as Grandpa Pig wants to bring the berries; but Granny Pig overrules that. Grandpa Pig decides to come along and bails to insert security measures to protect his berries; while Granny Pig bails to pack stuff for the trip, while Peppa and George decides to watch Grandpa Pig fail...errr...I mean, protect...err...I mean, play in the garden. So, we see Grandpa Pig putting the berries in a wheelbarrow and putting the wheelbarrow in the shead as Peppa asks if he is planting them in his shed; which is quite a reasonable thing to do actually.

Grandpa Pig claims, that it is sort of. Uh-oh! Trouble. In comes Granny Pig with everything packed in a basket and she's wearing a SWANK motorbike jacket that just makes her look even more goofy than usual. Even more so, Grandpa Pig who comes in with the motorbike. He brings out the safety goggles and helmets, so apparently, Mummy Pig has done a trip when she was young and trolling. Everyone puts the goggles on their eyes and sits on the motorbike. Peppa is given the right to point the direction to go, she points east and apparently, she picked the seaside beach because that's where Granny Pig wants to go. So, they go. So, we get a full drive from the garden onto the boring road, despite a teleport between the garden and the white house on the hill. Wow, even the writers now think the house is an eyesore. The music for "Wheels On The Bus" starts so let's do the motorbike edition of this. TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM on the hilly road ensues. Oh, and they stop at Granddad Dog's garage as he is mending Grandpa Pig's car and he's shocked to see Granny Pig has a motorcycle. Shouldn't it be called motorcycling? AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Anyhow; the motorbike needs petro and thus, the gas tank is filled with gas. And the car is mended; but Granny Pig don't care. Grandpa Pig claims that he'll pick it up later and Granny Pig drives away east as everyone says bye. More TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM ensues to waste more time...in a five minute episode no less. We finally make it to the beach and everyone gets out. The kids all cheer as Granny wants to camp here and Peppa points out that there is no tent present. But wait! Granny and Grandpa call their motorbike special as they pull the bike and the side rider out to reveal an orange tent. Oh, come on now! And it has a spot for a garage door as Peppa calls it a magic tent. Of course! Granny Pig points out the features and asks Grandpa Pig if he misses his berries. Grandpa Pig does not because he pulls down the orange garage like door to reveal his patch of raspberries and this causes everyone to do the backsplash laugh to end part one at 4:30. Those cheeky bastards are trying to tell us that this episode is over, but it's only the halfway point here! Fun little episode thus far. *** 1/2 (70%).

Sea Treasure: Part two of this ten minute episode opens back at the beach as the family is literally in the tent with no build as the motorbike is back together and here come the seagulls; which I betcha they start eating Grandpa Pig's berries straight away. Geez; this is worse than Slaughter's Privates~! I check the video...Nope; the family comes out and no berries are eaten. Peppa loves camping as we HIT THE FLASHBACK~ of Grandpa Pig remembering camping in the mountains, which is silly since every home in this show is on a steep hill; in the same jungle as Around The World With Peppa, having tea no less (which shows where Grandpa Pig got his ribbing of Granny and her cosplaying friends from); and even an iceberg. So wait, did these pigs really do that, or were they trying to make a hockey team to counter Sidney Crosby like Suzy Sheep seemed to do in Around The World With Peppa. Granny calls it camping anywhere with the comfronts of home. In other words; this is a Switch Motorbike. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... And on cue; the seagulls comes down and eat Grandpa Pig's berries a minute in. Grandpa Pig is pissed and he shoos them away. Maybe keeping them in the shed was a better idea, making you look dumb and making Peppa Pig look smart. See, trouble. Granny decides to supervise the kids at the seaside while Grandpa Pig stands guard and it allows them to have Grandpa Pig kill birds without seeing him do so while we watch Peppa and George enjoy themselves. The three pigs head to the shoreline and play "dodge the waves" for a while as George brings in a strand of rope he can give to Grandpa Pig to hang some birds around his berries or something. Damn, my headcanons are starting to be more dark and violent. Peppa calls it sea treasure because we have to get the episode name in despite Peppa already doing that in the first five seconds of the episode since the gimmick is Peppa annnouncing the name of the episode in every episode of this series. More dodging waves and this time it's five seashells; which is actually eight. And then increases to nine as they dodge the waves again, as they only salvaged four seashell and Granny Pig cannot back up in time and she gets quarter wet. The bottom quarter wet. She got more than her feet wet, Peppa, I assure thee. We now get three plastic bottles; just to remind everyone how awful we are as human beings; and also a glass bottle containing a note. Of course! You cannot have a sea treasure episode without an alcohol bottle containing a message floating around now, can't we. So, Granny Pig uncorks the bottle and takes out the message. She reads the message and it is from someone named Little Reggie Rabbit. Now, the message itself isn't special on it's own; it's the fact that it contains Reggie's telephone number. Peppa wants to ring him up to inform him that they found his message and wonders if he is okay.

So, Granny Pig brings out her cellphone and rings up the number. Take one guess who is going to answer the phone. Just guess, it's too shocking! SURPRISE! IT'S OKAY BOOMER~! POW! OUCH! Ummm. And as I said, I ranted this episodes out of order and hitting me in the face when the surprise is accurate is not a good look for you....It's Grampy Rabbit~! That's funny in itself; but when Grampy Rabbit is talking on the phone with Peppa in his boat yard; he claims that Little Reggie Rabbit doesn't exist because...ahem...Little Reggie Rabbit is Grampy Rabbit's full name! He joins Gigi Gazelle as the only other main character to have a real name and not a title. Why is Grampy Rabbit getting all the good stuff now?! Might as well make him a full vampire and get it over with. Oh, and just wait until he rescues Miss Rabbit later on. Is he getting a spin-off series; because he's getting a Kit Cloudkicker-equse push on this show now. George assumes me by doing the Kit spot while he holds more stuff than his body weight, although it doesn't weigh more than his own body weight. So, they inform Reggie that they found his bottle that Reggie threw into the sea when he was a boy and apparently, Reggie is at least 110 years old at this point. It's rare for human for this long, but it is not impossible. Sadly, rabbits live for 8-12 years though, so this is the human part of anthromorpization taking over. Pigs live for 12-18 years, so same thing basically. They don't do this crap anymore because plastic sucks the life out of everything, and I do mean everything. Probably the next cigarette at the rate we are going here. They picked it up and Reggie wishes them good luck and make something. Reggie kicks the smallest conveniently placed oil barrel in capitivity and Peppa hangs up. So, we head back to the tent as the seagulls don't care about recycling their spots as Grandpa Pig tries to shoo them; but no dice this time. Granny, Peppa and George all run in with their goodies and Grandpa Pig is impressed; but still needs something to keep the birds away. Granny has an idea; she strings the objects together, along with the plastic bottles and makes a necklace. She then puts it on the X's of the berry patch and this scares the birds away. Lots of shaking from the bottle and shells as we jump cut to Grandpa Pig putting the tent into the motorbike. Sadly, they have to tie the wagon of berries to the back of it in order to bring them home. So, everyone puts on their goofy motorcycle gear, gets on the bike and we head west on the hilly road and sing the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM to end the episode at 4:30. What is it with Grampy Rabbit in the last two series?! This episode was awesome! **** 1/4 (85%).

Monkey Has A Cough: We continue on with episode #324 on the animation paper and open the episode at the little house on the hill as we zoom into the kitchen with Mummy Pig reading Ezza magazine at the table and Peppa jumping around and shaking the place while wearing the fairy costume. So, Mummy and Peppa talk for a while and Peppa "threatens" to turn Mummy Pig into a "frog" and Mummy Pig cuts the most unconvincing promo you ever heard and the winking just makes it worse. Mummy even does the most unconvincing fake crying ever, it sounds more like Smurfette from the Smurfs. The guise of this is that Mummy Pig is playing along and she is signalling this by winking her right eye. This would have worked a lot better if Mummy Pig could actually act, otherwise this was so fake, the winking is absolutely pointless. Peppa somehow still falls for it and has to inform Mummy Pig that she is pretending, and she's a lot more convincing than Mummy Pig ever was. To Peppa's credit; she blows off Mummy Pig's joke as it was not funny. Mummy Pig don't care anyway, so she lacks self-awareness. So, we hear a car horn and head outside to reveal a green car pulling up to the house; and it's Mummy Zebra driving and Zoe Zebra with her stuffed monkey doll in tow in the back. It's been a long time since Zoe has been involved in a major storyline, I don't think she has been used in the last two series in anything of note methinks. Peppa comes out and we meet and greet for a while before deciding to go upstairs to Peppa's bedroom. Both head to the bedroom, Peppa grabs the doll and now Monkey has a cough. Oh no, does that mean we have to ring up Doctor Brown Bear AGAIN?! UGH! Peppa winks once during this as Zoe protests this outrage because monkey doesn't have a cough, Peppa is trolling her. Well, Peppa is winking; so it's not like we don't know she is trolling anyway. Zoe then notices Peppa's winking tactics and Peppa finally points out that she's working Zoe. I swear Peppa and company would make excellent pro-wrestlers; they got the work thing down pat. Zoe gets it and in comes George and Peppa gives George the doll and he is now the doctor. HA!

Zoe and Peppa cut promos while winking. Now, I was expecting George to cry here in confusion because this would actually be funny; but he doesn't here since Peppa sort of admits the work before George has a chance to react. George puts the doll in the conveniently placed doll bed as they ban him from television until he is better. And then they all laugh, because they love to troll on a hapless doll. Head outside and here comes Daddy Pig in the red car, and he parks his car on the steep side of the hill as usual. He jumps out and heads inside after a day of work. Mummy Pig comes into the lobby for the meet and greet. Peppa, George and Zoe run down the steps and the hard camera makes it like the earth is shaking. Why do they need to do that? I don't see the point of this. So, they talk about Monkey some more, complete with winking and Daddy Pig is so confused that he's dumb struck. Daddy asks about the health of their eyes and thankfully, the kids end the nonsense before Daddy Pig can look even dumber...Oh wait...Daddy Pig then admits that he learned how to talk like a pirate and his pirate routine is actually semi-scary that even the kids are backing up in fear, despite the fact that Peppa knows how to talk like a pirate since she's friends with Danny Dog, who often cosplays a pirate in his spare time. Daddy then claims that he is now a pirate and since he never winks, Mummy Pig thinks Daddy Pig is shooting on her! Peppa of course, knows this is BS; but Daddy Pig is coughing and thinks this is him working on her. Sadly, Daddy Pig has a cough, so Zoe declares that he must self-isolate himself with no tele for 10 years! HAHA! And you thought self-isolation for 14 days was unfair?! Sod off! Mummy Pig has a better method, which is to wiggle ears, jump up and down and quack like a duck; as if that last one didn't give away the quackery well in advance. I didn't see any winking, so it must have been a shoot, am I right?! Nope! It's a work as everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. Okay, this was fun, but the logic was inconsistant here. It's also nice to see flashes of the first series' bite in this episode, too. *** (60%).

Police Car: This episode is #325 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the school house on the hill with the police car parked outside. We zoom into the classroom with Gigi Gazelle clapping her hands as the kids are all jumping and cheering. Damn, they have started bringing back all the really fun stuff from Series 1 haven't they? Absent: Emily Elephant, Candy Cat, Wendy Wolf, Molly Mole, Mandy Mouse and Panda Twins. The Panda Twins is interesting since Officer Panda is here along with Officer "I never ticketed an inaminate object I didn't like" Grey Squirrel. So, the kids sit down and Gigi points out that some of the kids are going to spend a day with the police and Freddy asks: "as prisoners?" I died. And keep in mind, Freddy wants to be a police officer when he grows up. Panda nicely blows it off as they will be guests, which is basically protective custody. All right, then. So, only two kids get the honor and since Peppa Pig is the star, Freddy Fox gets the second slot, since he wants to be a police officer and this would be perfect for pointers. Freddy's eyes told the story of the whole thing. So, everyone walks out and the police officers, one wannabe officer and a troll get into the police car willfully. Gigi informs them that she will call them when lunchtime arrives and it's a let's go onto the boring road. Oh, they are having the JELLY FRUITCAKE OF WOBBLES, which the officers like. So, we drive for a while as Freddy does his siren; but is denied the use of the real siren because it's not an emergency. And then we HIT THE TRAFFIC JAM~! Most of the adults that you often see in the show are there, including Granddad Dog's breakdown truck. I mention this because now the siren can be used and Panda drives the car on the grass and guess what is causing this traffic jam? A broken down car owned by Mr. Stallion; the first of THREE appearances on this set of episodes. Yeah! Even funnier; Granddad Dog's breakdown truck is in the middle of the traffic jam and cannot rescue Mr. Stallion; so instead of calling Granddad Dog, Officer Grey Squirrel writes a ticket and sticks it on the windshield and then the police simply push the car on the grass and everyone drives away, including Granddad Dog's breakdown truck. And if you listen closely; you can hear Grandpa Pig laughing all the way to the bank. HAHA! Mr. Stallion just stands there saying bye and wondering where it all gone wrong. So, Grey Squirrel sums this up as Panda's transmitter is calling from the police station.

A cat is stuck up a tree, you see. Freddy asks about the siren and Grey Squirrel more than gives it as we see the police car going up and down dodging cars on the boring road; the most excitement it has ever had. Jump cut to a tree with Miss Rabbit, Mr. Pony, Mrs. Elephant, Mummy Sheep and Mr. Labo. The police, the siren and the troll all get out and the officers do their hello promo as Miss Rabbit informs the police that Mr. Cat is stuck up a tree, literally. The police question his motives and Mr. Cat's motive is probably better than most motives on Foresnic Files. Ponder that for a moment. Grey Squirrel is clearly the arrogrant one of the duo as Panda is like "Whhhhhhyyyyyy?" before he bails to get the ladder. He returns with the ladder and Mr. Cat climbs down without incident. At least this one was done properly, minus the fact that Grey Squirrel wrote a ticket and stuck it on the tree! So, Peppa calls this brilliant and Freddy wants to be a police officer. Then the vibrator goes off on the transmitter and it's Gigi Gazelle because it's time for lunch and jelly is being served, don't care about the sandwiches. So, here's how the episode ends: They all get into the car, the kids ask for the siren, Panda approves of this, turns it on and they drive west, INTO TRAFFIC going in the opposite direction and that ends the episode at 4:30. This was better than it had any right to be and Grey Squirrel's ticketing is getting dangerously close to littering at this point. *** 1/4 (65%).

Rescuing Miss Rabbit: We continue on with #326 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the library on the hill as Peppa, George and Daddy Pig enter the library. Cameos: Mr. Stallion, Mrs. Corgi, and Mummy Dog are reading books. And it's okay to wear hats as long as you are quiet. Miss Rabbit is at the counter with her computer and telephone, which is probably the multi-tasking phone. I just love how Peppa gives this stink eye look to Miss Rabbit; as if she's onto her hypocritical ways. I mention this because Miss Rabbit is whisper yelling and it sounds like she's speaking loudly at the same time. Not a good look. Peppa gives the volume promo she deserves as we also see Granny Wolf in a cameo and then Mr. Bull arrives making slightly "less noise" than Miss Rabbit. HEE HEE! Most of it from his truck as Mr. Bull brings out a ladder and puts it against the wall and climbs up to the roof; because this roof has a defective tile. Man, roofs in this world don't last all that long nowadays and of course he somehow breaks through the roof and there looks like two teeth at most drops onto Miss Rabbit's desk. Why does ANYONE hire Mr. Bull?! He's the master of deconstruction, not reconstruction. Miss Rabbit shh's him and Mr. Bull apologizes for being loud; but it's a notapology at best. Miss Rabbit orders him to be quiet which might improve his roofing skills. Or maybe not. Then the BURNOUT PHONE OF DEATH rings and Miss Rabbit answers it because she's still doing her rescuing service and it's Doctor Hamster claiming that Tiddles the Tortotise has climbed a tree again! You would think she would have understood that turtles can climb trees by now; but of course not. And to think, she's still better as a vet than Mr. Bull is at mending roofs! So, Miss Rabbit bails stage left telling Peppa to keep it quiet and runs out of the library and literally five seconds later, she's already with Doctor Hamster. Miss Rabbit ponders it over and she has to find a ladder and lo and behold; there is a ladder right at the library. She steals it and bails stage left and in an amazing moment, Mr. Bull actually mends the roof properly. Damn; that made me look really bad. Miss Rabbit places the ladder onto the tree branch, climbs up and climbs down rescuing Tiddles. Miss Rabbit calls it doing her job, because she hates heroism. Then her cellphone rings and it's Mr. Bull as he is stuck on the roof because his ladder has vanished into thin air. At least it's not his fault this time. Miss Rabbit realizes that she stole the ladder and is on her way as Mr. Bull asks what they would do without Miss Rabbit. Answer: Imagine being in a pandemic without service workers and health professionals and that should more than answer the question. Miss Rabbit runs in and puts the ladder against the wall and climbs up. Okay, this is stupid.

Mr. Bull can climb the ladder without her help. Just leave the ladder there, hold it steady and let Mr. Bull come down. Why bother resucing him? Answer: Because Miss Rabbit has to be stuck for the plot of this episode to work silly. This is Peppa Pig's version of an idiot plot; only Miss Rabbit is not an idiot. So, Miss Rabbit is on the roof, she lets Mr. Bull climb down the ladder, Mr. Bull realizes that it's his ladder, Miss Rabbit is busted, Mr. Bull kindly is like "F*CK YOU!"; takes the ladder, puts it in his truck and then drives away stage left and Miss Rabbit is now stuck. What a moron?! So, we head inside the library with Daddy Pig, Peppa and George enjoying a book as we get another Ben & Holly reference in the background, princess Holly this time around. So, Daddy Pig starts the story and the BURNOUT PHONE OF DEATH rings, and the pigs are smart enough to let it go through voice mail. It's Miss Rabbit screaming for help; so Daddy Pig answers the phone and sadly, for Miss Rabbit; Daddy Pig has no aeroplane, no helicopter and no ladder. Miss Rabbit then realizes that she is so screwed that she must do the unthinkable: Call her father. And that's what she does? Now, guess who Miss Rabbit father is. Come on, guess! It's too shocking! SURPRISE, IT'S OKAY BOOMER~! POW! OUCH! Ummmmm...I don't why you punched me, okay boomer works here. It's...Grampy Rabbit~! WHAT?! Why is Grampy Rabbit getting all the good stuff?! He's gone from comedy geek to being literally the father of Miss Rabbit within three series. It's amazing! So, they talk for a bit as Miss Rabbit demands a ladder and Grampy Rabbit is on his way. So, we cut to the boring road and it's the most excitement it has ever got as Grampy Rabbit is literally racing for his life in a fire engine. And yes, he did remember to bring the ladder, so knock it off! And, then he drives up the hill and crashes into the library and somehow does a lot less damage than Mr. Bull. Mr. Stallion protest this outrage and Grampy Rabbit basically tells him to shut up. I laughed my ass off after all this. Even funnier, Mr. Stallion apologizes, as if this was his fault that he was loud. So, Peppa informs him that Miss Rabbit is on the roof, and here's how this ends: Grampy Rabbit gets on the ladder and the ladder pushes up and breaks through the roof and Miss Rabbit is saved as everyone, including Mr. Bull, the guy who mended the roof, cheers on. Daddy Mole makes a cameo here and Mr. Bull just got screwed and he don't care since it was Miss Rabbit's fault for stealing the ladder in the first place. He can remend the roof and charge her triple for that work! We also discover that Grampy Rabbit is the originator of the "Just doing my job" routine and everyone except the rabbits do the backsplash to end the episode at 4:30. We have an early contender for best episode of Series 7 right there and Grampy Rabbit is still on fire! ***** (100%).

Peppa's Diary: Next up is episode #327 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the little house on the hill as we zoom into the kitchen at the table with Mummy, Daddy, Peppa and George Pig. Peppa is drawing blue stick figure pigs of herself and George. Daddy Pig likes it and Mummy Pig likes drawing in her diary, which I would think that privacy would mean not admitting that you do such things, but okay. Peppa asks what a diary is and Mummy Pig calls it a storybook telling your story basically. Mummy Pig opens the drawers (NOT THOSE ONES!) and brings out a green covered diary book with golden trim on the points. Apparently, in this world; dairies are picture books since most diaries are similar to written books. Mummy Pig's days as a child are wake up, play in the garden, sleep, repeat, repeat, repeat. No eating or even pooping. That's kind of sad, actually. Oh wait, there was one day when the circus came to town and it was so big it took up two pages by itself and had more color than any of the other scenes. That was funny, actually. And it told a story of Mummy Pig going to the circus seeing all this stuff and drawing it. Peppa is in awe about this as she wants to keep a diary and gets a pink covered diary with daisies on it, because of course! Peppa proclaims that she is going to record the stuff she does every day. I betcha it's going to be: wake up, play in the garden, sleep, repeat, repeat, repeat. I check the video...George comes out with Mr. Dinesaur and Peppa just blows it off because it's not interesting enough for her diary, no siree. Keep in mind, Peppa always complains that George is a one-trick pig, despite being a clear one-trick pig in this diary thing. Jump cut to Mummy and Daddy Pig making veggie soup again. Peppa walks in and complains about not having anything interesting to put in the diary. Mummy Pig suggests tidying up the room. HAHA! Peppa blows that off, so Mummy Pig tells Daddy Pig to bring out the toy basket because we are heading to the garden with it to make their own circus. So, yeah; we have to pretend Peppa ringmastering a circus in Series 4 never happened. So, yeah; Series 5 was a complete reboot. Daddy Pig wears the Dumptruck-equse top hat, Mummy Pig wearing a flower hat and juggles balls for a while. Peppa just draws what she sees and hears from Daddy Pig while giggling. Daddy Pig juggles four plastic skittles (bowling pins everyone) with Mummy Pig commentating now. Peppa don't care if it's the same thing; it's just cannon fodder for her diary.

Daddy Pig then brings out a purple hoop and George holds it as Mummy Pig has to jump through a hoop that is way to narrow for her to jump though. Peppa might make it, George probably would make it, but not the adults, no siree. Daddy Pig then does a drumroll, just to make this even more absurd. Mummy Pig goes in head first and somehow makes it through the hoop without incident. Lance Storm would see this and say: "Damn; that was so fake." Peppa don't care, more canon fodder for the diary she would probably say if she wasn't giggling so much. So, it's Peppa's turn and Peppa goes through the hoop after a drumroll with ease. Then it's George Pig, same thing, except he does one forward roll in the process. Sadly, he needed to do at least a half dozen of them to surpass Kit's record in Bullethead Baloo. So, we now get to the real moment, because now it's Daddy Pig's turn. This cannot end well for Daddy Pig. Even Daddy Pig in roundabout terms realizes that he is going to get wrecked after this and there is nothing he can do about it, because that is how he is booked. So, Daddy Pig puts the hoop around his body to demonstrate that this is dumb and then gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY as he has a great idea. He runs into the house and then after some construction noises (!!!), Daddy Pig comes out riding a unicycle. Why?! Why not?! He rides down the hill at greatneck speed, and panics forgetting that unicycles don't have brakes like Kit's Skyfoil. Despite that, he still manages to slow down the unicycle and slow it down as everyone pops for him. Somehow, this was more believable than diving into a swimming pool. Peppa is giddy about all this cannon fodder to put in the diary, calling it the best circus ever; so screw Pedro Pony, again! So, it's AFTER HAPPY HOUR, as we head to Peppa's bedroom as Peppa is in bed with her diary, with George in his bed and with the parents looking on. Peppa retells the story of her day through her diary as the circus part is in full color as she declares that she'll do more of this tomorrow as everyone laughs to end the episode at 4:30. This was a really fun episode in spite of the erasure of Series 4 and that circus. *** 3/4 (75%).

Playing Golf: Next up is episode #328 on the animation paper as the episode opens at a golf course with Peppa, George and Grandpa Pig, for a nice change of pace. Grandpa Pig has his bag of golf clubs wheeling down and I betcha we'll see Mrs. Corgi and Mr. Stallion come into view to taunt Grandpa Pig again at some point, because of course! Everyone is wearing white shoes, because of course! Grandpa Pig claims that golf is simple: You take a golf club and hit a golf ball into a golf hole and only in Peppa Pig would the flag pole be literally sticking away from the hole instead of being in said hole. Of course, Grandpa Pig demonstrates in his own way that simple and easy are in fact two different words, because he MISSES this shot. Yeah! Grandpa Pig makes it to the green and uses the putter and MISSES it again! Uh-oh! Grandpa Pig sucks at golf. Thankfully, he hits it a third time, so at worst, he got a par. So, he doesn't suck that badly at golf. We then see a way too stylish golf cart to be on this show as Mr. Stallion and Mrs. Corgi arrive less than a minute in. Told you all they were coming! Mr. Stallion says eh a lot; so he might be Canadian for all I know. Mrs. Corgi then really shows how much Grandpa Pig sucks at golf by saying that she hopes Grandpa Pig is teaching them properly and then basically gets a hole in one on the blue flagpole hole, just burying Grandpa Pig's golf skills deep within the earth. Peppa is impressed by this of course. Grandpa sounds jealous when cutting his promo about the hole in one, so he knows he is being ribbed on here. Of course, it's because Grandpa Pig has never hit a hole in one, ever. Mrs. Corgi and Mr. Stallion leave stage left, making sure to gently rib him for his short comings on the way out. So, we repeat the promo as Peppa calls the golf club a stick, which is not inaccurate. Peppa's first attempt barely goes two feet. George's attempt, despite being ten feet behind Peppa, goes six feet further than Peppa's ball. HAHA! Peppa gives up after two more attempts despite being ten feet away from the hole. Peppa's is so bored that she just gives up and whacks the ball much further than any other shot she hit. As in fifty feet at least. George is still not feeling it either as they notice in the background, a mini golf area with windmills and dinosaur models. Grandpa Pig calls this "kiddie golf"! Okay, I do like British culture and many times, the British pronouncation is way better than the American one, but this is the gaping exception to the rule. This actually legit pissed me off.

Peppa points out that they are little children, therefore this is all right. I have played mini golf and depending on the area, it is so much fun and better than ordinary golf. You just putt; which is great since most people can do that without much skill and be good at it. And it also can challenge you in a science sense of how angles work, much more than ordinary golf. It still requires patience though. Yeah, this is fun as we head to the mini golf course and Peppa and George take turns playing and it's much more fun and much more interesting than that bogus sport of real golf. Besides, you'll never catch Donald Trump playing mini-golf. And that's a good thing, thank you very much. In comes Corgi and Stallion wondering what is going on and Mrs. Corgi is ribbing Grandpa Pig for playing mini golf and she can go pleasure herself for all I care. Kiddie golf is awesome! And yes, Grandpa Pig blushes when he says yes. Peppa and George offer the two ribbers a chance to play mini golf because she knows better. Well, she knows that mini golf can be played by anyone and it's just the purists who are jealous. Mr. Stallion decides to give it a go and the arrogrance comes back to bite both adults in the ass as Mr. Stallion and Mrs. Corgi screw up their shots and they look dumb. Good. Corgi's shot was only slightly better since it went through the windmill hole. Grandpa Pig looks like he has cold feet; but Peppa assures him that this is not all that different than regular golf and it really isn't all that different. So, Grandpa Pig sets up his golf ball and hits it. And wouldn't you know it; he hits it so perfectly that he actually hits all the objects perfectly and the ball drops in the hole for the hole in one. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I told you mini golf is awesome. Grandpa Pig's celebration was stiffer than he was as everyone cheers and then does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. I loved this episode and never let anyone tell you mini golf is just for kids. **** 1/2 (90%).

Creepy Crawly Safari: We finish up the first quarter of Series 7 with episode #329 on the animation paper, as the episode opens at the school house on the hill as Gigi has her bus on retainer because they are going on a trip to a safari of creepy crawlers. Absent: Emily Elephant, Zoe Zebra, Wendy Wolf, Molly Mole, Richard Rabbit, Edmond Elephant, The Panda Twins, Mandy Mouse, Pedro....oh wait, Pedro is merely late and nearly gets stranded...AGAIN! Pedro arrives via car, much to Gigi's disdain and it wasn't because he was sleepy this time, it's because he wanted to bring a tank containing Steven, his stick insect. Hey, if Peppa can bring Goldie the gold fish to an aqurirum; then Pedro doing this is perfectly acceptable too; am I right? Gigi is fine with this as long as Pedro is 100% responsible for his health and well being. Consdering how well Pedro treats Steven, this shouldn't be a factor. Everyone gets in the bus, and Gigi drives the bus down the road as the kids are super animated for this. Jump cut to the safari gate with lots of bugs, bees and insects buzzing about as the bus stops and everyone gets out. Danny Dog asks if there are going to be scary, big bugs; and Gigi says no. Gigi then hears a roar and that scares her as we see the return of Mr. Sexist Lion for the first time since Series 5 where Gigi got the money shot line of the series about seeing all kinds of animals without a hint of irony nor self-awareness. And he is still a sexist, since he still calls Gigi a wilderbeast and not a gazelle. It's her last name for crying out loud! Mr. Lion's brain is so dirty it needs to be washed. Anyhow; welcome to the safari according to Mr. Lion and the kids are in awe of this as Pedro introduces Steven (Stephen in Britian, even though it is pronounced Ste-ven; instead of Step-hen) and it's not in the wild like the other insects. Mr. Lion is charmed by this as everyone gets into the stylized animal safari mini carts and none of them are based on insect colors nor schemes. So, the first area is a wooded area where you cannot see anything, but you can hear a woodpecker pecking like a pecker.

Mr. Lion gives Peppa a magnifying glass and she looks through it to see a ladybird (British for ladybug, although it's really Coccinellidae) on a leaf of a plant. Pedro describes his relationship with Stephen which includes watching Super Potato on the tele together as we are getting a rare glimpse into the life of Pedro and I have seen much sadder characters in this show than him. Pedro calls Stephen happy and I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, since reading the insect's non-verbal cues seems to be impossible for me at this point. Jump cut to everyone in the carts as we head to the rocky plains portion of the tour. Suzy wonders who the insect on the tree branch is on the closeup and Mr. Lion calls it a millipede, which is BS since it has only 34 legs). Stephen keeps still on six legs and looks like a stick, hence the name, stick insect (although it's really Phasmatodea). Jump cut to them on the carts again as we head to the Savanna (In British, Savannash; no relation to the city in Georgia, United States) which is tall brown grass with few trees as grasshoppers invade the area, which Pedro calls super jumpers. They also come in different colors, one of them is pink. Pedro turns his back for a moment for fun and Stephen is literally written out by teleport! How about that? And Pedro claimed that Stephen was immobile. ABSURD! So, everyone panics, except for Mr. Lion; who thinks this is for the best because insects just want to be free. So, he's an animal rights activist, in a show where everyone is at least anthroed animals. He still calls Gigi a wilderbeast though and Gigi has to correct him again! Considering that it's heavily implied that Gigi is a vampire or a Jural from Chargeman Ken, she should zap him to death or bite him the neck for this sexism and be done with it. He still will not learn. The kids find sticks, don't find Stephen until we cut to the ground with Stephen clearly walking on his own and he jumps into his glass case! Ummm; yeah. It actually giggles and then everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. Well, this was okay; but Mr. Lion needs to go pound sand. ** 1/2 (50%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well, we got three really great episodes and zero bad ones this time around. In some respects, the toning down of the cheap elements have really helped make them feel better and more interesting. Grampy Rabbit is getting a push on this show as two of the best episodes involved him in some way and both of them have important character development rarely seen in the show, and on a side character no less. He has a real name now and is Miss Rabbit's father (and probably is Mummy Rabbit's father by proxy); which is amazing to me, considering how character development is not this show's strong suit and the fact that the creator basically rebooted the series after Series 4 ended. Playing Golf was great mostly for the mini golf spots and the ribbing by Stallion and Corgi, Police Car was funny because Mrs. Grey Squirrel's ticketing always makes me laugh and the worst episode would have been better if Gigi punched Mr. Sexist Lion in the face and be done with it. Overall, an excellent set of episodes to end the first quarter of Peppa Pig Series 7.

Now, that ends Peppa Pig for now; however, the show is being renewed for 104 episodes until 2027 according to Deadline. I can hear the groans about this, however; considering how much Grampy Rabbit is on fire; I cannot complain about this considering how much pleasure I get reviewing this show in general. Entertainment One is involved. I should also note that the animation company (Astley Baker Davies) that has been working on the series from the start will no longer be involved after 2023 and the animation will be moved to Studio Karrot; who worked on Sarah & Duck. Even though they say that the style, music and talent will remain the same; if there are any changes, it will be subtle since the style has been toned down since Series 4 ended anyway. While 485 episodes is huge, it's only roughly 40 hours of airtime; which is roughly 80 half hour episodes combined. Ducktales 1987 still has more airtime. Well, there is the surprise for ye. So...

Thumbs up for Seaside Treasure, Rescuing Miss Rabbit, Playing Golf; thumbs in the middle for the rest, and I'll see you all next time.

Back to Other Rants Index!
Return to the Rant Shack!
Return to the Unofficial Kit Cloudkicker Homepage