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Peppa Pig Series Seven #3 Rant

Reviewed: 10/02/2021

Mummy Pig Is Dumb! Sadly, I'm Not Lying Either!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. More new episodes ensue as Peppa practices her earthquake ritual on trampolines, a health check that might send Doctor Brown Bear into retirement -- hopefully from life in general--, skateboards, training to climb mountains, playing on a tractor and we catch a pirate for real on a police boat. So, how do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Trampolines: This episode is #336 on the animation paper and the episode opens on a hill full of trampolines with Miss Rabbit bouncing on one of them as Daddy Pig, Mummy Pig, Mummy Sheep, Peppa, George, Richard, Suzy Sheep, and Rebecca Rabbit arrive with their boots on. If you...oh, never mind; you guessed what I mean. Miss Rabbit has no shoes on as the boots must come off because we must always bounce safely. Also, bounce in the midde, one person per trampoline at all times and no stunts. (Kit/Kick: That's it! I'm out of here.) So, everyone takes off their boot and it's time for everyone to bounce as even Daddy Pig wants to do some bouncing. George and Richard go on the smaller trampolines with a bunch of toddlers I have never seen before. Huh. Suzy, Rebecca and Peppa bounce on the medium sized trampolines for a long while, also including singing the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM. I guess singing is not considered a "clever trick" according to DA RULES (FAIRYGODPARENTS~!) as we zoom out to see nearly every kid from the series thus far doing the same thing. Daddy Pig finally takes his boots off and starts bouncing. Damn, he's really good at this, too. Mummy Pig is questionning this bouncing because of Daddy's big tummy, of course. Daddy claims that he knows what he is doing as Mummy Pig takes her boots off, off-screen of course, and it's more bouncing. Mummy Sheep repeat the spot, which is fine since it's the rules and she wants to join in, too. The narrator says it all as we invoke the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM, with the grownups singing. Listen, it's like the Lambeau Leap, the song is not for adults; it's for the little kids to sing so the kids can sing back. Come on, now! The kids are like "What the hell is this?!" Mummy Pig is now bouncing well beyond the boundaries of good taste and DA RULES (FAIRYGODPARENTS~!) as Daddy Pig thinks this is bad. When Daddy Pig thinks you have gone too far on the stupidity scale, you are dumber than he is. This won't be the last time Mummy Pig does something really stupid in this rant, as you will see in mountain climbing later on. Mummy bounces into the clouds that she hits the side, goes backwards ass over tea kettle and lands into a tree. We can now add Mr. Fox and Mrs. Wolf to the list of adults cameoing in this episode, too. Oh, and the clever clogs, Edmond is here too. Mummy Pig is stuck and it's all her fault this time around. Daddy Pig proclaims that they will rescue her and I was waiting with baited breath to hear Suzy Sheep say "Chop the tree down!"; but it doesn't happen. BOO! HISS! So, Mummy Sheep rings in Miss Rabbit's rescue service before Suzy gets any idea on making me laugh as we cut to the boot saver booth with Miss Rabbit reading a magazine called Dingy! HA! That's the first book the women of this show have read that wasn't Ezza Magazine or a rhyme of it like Chezza Magazine.

Miss Rabbit's phone rings and I am over the multiple jobs angle since a number of males also do the exact same thing, it's just a lot less obvious and that's why I should have been mad about it in the first place. It turns out that her cellphone is not ringing; but the out of nowhere rotary telephone! HAHA! Miss Rabbit answers the phone and it's Mummy Sheep demanding that Mummy Pig be rescued. Miss Rabbit is on the way as she hangs up and runs to her rescue helicopter. She gets in and the helicopter rises to the sky. More people gather around the tree as Mr. Zebra and Mrs. Panda join in. Lots of chatter ensues as we get the martial arts zoom in of Mummy Pig admitting to being embarassed by this whole thing and Daddy Pig proclaims that it's the sort of thing that happens to him. In comes Miss Rabbit with her rescue helicopter, proclaiming that Miss Rabbit will rescue her, but she cannot land on the tree. Now, if you recall the episode with Tiddles (the one where Miss Rabbit literally buried everyone on screen and everyone who was watching the show at the same time.) that the helicopter has an autopilot and a ladder, and all Miss Rabbit would have to do is use them to free Mummy Pig. Nope. Miss Rabbit flies away to the trampolines and Miss Rabbit jumps out of the helicopter, bounces off the trampoline....MUSIC BREAK~!....Peppa is so loving this as Miss Rabbit is flying, grabs Mummy Pig from behind, bounces backwards like Miss Rabbit is wanting to do a German Suplex, spinning like both are trying to get vertigo, but really are not; bounces off the trampoline after Miss Rabbit admits that she doesn't know what is going to happen and they land in the open helicopter safe and sound. If you thought Daddy Pig diving into a pool with zero splash whatsoever was fake, that moment in Swimming was far more realistic than what I saw here. I laughed until I cried after seeing that one. The fact that Miss Rabbit claimed that she didn't know where the helicopter was made it even more absurd. Miss Rabbit lands the helicopter and Mummy Pig is on terrafirma safely. Mummy Pig thanks Miss Rabbit for her service and Miss Rabbit proclaims that she's just doing her job, just don't bounce so high in future. Peppa Pig bounces on the trampoline to reinforce the point. Mummy Pig will remember that in future, although she won't apply it to mountain climbing training as we zoom out to see everyone playing on the trampoline while laughing to end the episode at 4:30. A lovely episode with an absurd finish that made this episode one of the best of Series 7. **** 3/4 (95%). Would have gotten full marks if Suzy just said: "Chop the tree down!"

Health Check: We continue on with #337 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the little house on the hill with the car ready to go as Mummy Pig and Peppa Pig go to the car. Peppa has Teddy with her and Mummy Pig has a book with the green cross on it; since the Red Cross is rightfully protective with their symbol being misused; especially with all the misinformation about health going around nowadays. The narrator basically states the title of the episode which is fine, because Peppa is literally going to the doctor for a health and welfare check, so it works out well. Mummy Pig gives Peppa the red book after explaining what it is to Peppa upon Peppa's request. I don't know why they would bother showing it when the doctor should have those records, but I guess it is sort of a "control of you own data" kind of thing. Anyhow, Peppa and Mummy head into the car and drive down the hill and jump cut to them going up the head and park on the steepest side of the hill...AGAIN at the doctor's office. Mummy Pig and Peppa get out of the car and go into the office as we see Doctor Brown Bear. Okay, I can accept this because it's a routine checkup and there no chance of actual burnout. Peppa and Dr. Brown Bear meet, greet and exchange notes for a bit as Doctor Brown Bear is not retiring; but he solved the mystery of burn out: Peppa will be seeing Doctor Polar Bear, who is a female doctor with aqua green colors and shoes. Okay, I'm certain the burnout angle was sort of tongue-in-cheek; not that it shouldn't be taken seriously at all, though. Hospital bell rings and in comes Peppa to meet Doctor Polar Bear at her table looking at nothing of note. PB adjusts her pen on the desk as we do the meet and greet. Apparently, Teddy is here to see the health check, which is funny because Teddy is a stuffed animal and I fear that it'll be seeing more health checks it's not allowed to see. Peppa losing the teddy bear, everyone. So, Peppa gives Polar Bear the red book and we begin the health check in earnest. Check #1: Height. Peppa says she's a big girl now, cutting a Toys'R'Us promo in the process. By the way, the height stick is at least two inches above Peppa's ears. I question her height now. PB writes the height and check #2 is weight with shoes on, which is silly since the shoes can weigh up to two pounds depending on the size of the shoe. PB writes the weight and it's check #3: Heart check. PB does it and then Peppa checks it herself with the sethoscope. Yeah. Peppa claims that the heartbeat is going "Bumpy-Dump" with the sound effects not matching up with Peppa's sounds. Peppa then checks Teddy's "heart" and Peppa says it does nothing because it's a doll. HA! PB was selling it as if the doll had a heart. Of course! Check #4: Ear check with the mirror torch light. Somehow, this tickles Peppa for some odd reason.

Check #5: Tongue check, but not "tongue-in-cheek", because we are being serious for a minute. PB checks off the stuff as Peppa asks about checking her nose and then snorts loudly because this is what this episode needs, more windbags! Peppa's getting to Daddy Pig levels of pushback with that snort. Check #6: Fitness as PB wants her to jump up and down. Peppa does so and apparently, she looks totally blown up at this point. Geez, that nose check did some sapping of Peppa's strength there. Peppa flaps her arms and PB is fine with this in spite of Peppa looking blown up. Check #7: Fruits and vegatables, sadly; she doesn't ask if she eats five or even seven, just to remind us that Edmond's promo was correct all along and the writers don't realize the joke is still funny. Again, in British English; you are allowed to say the word and over and over and over again. Peppa reveals the fruits, but she white lies on the broccoli like Teddy Ruxpin lies on Grubby's Root Stew. PB buys it anyway and checks Peppa down as Peppa loves pasta, which the noodles are grains anyway; despite Mummy Pig pointing out that it's not a veggie. It's a plant food, though; so we're fine. Now, I realize that the next check (#8) is a great moment for any series and I'm glad that Mummy Pig is pro-vax here; however, I wasn't expecting the doctor in this series to even mention vaccines in a pre-school show. This needs to be done in children's shows and all animation for that matter, especially with doctors involved now with the global situation continuing to rear it's ugly head for years to come. Great moment for the series. The health check is officially over and Peppa is offered a stick. Peppa is happy as she picks the...MUSIC BREAK~! yellow smiley face sticker to wear on her chest. So, DPB asks Muimmy Pig if she has any questions and Mummy Pig cannot think of any. So, Peppa decides to ask the questions around here and seeing her eye contact violence look; Peppa is clearly trolling Doctor Polar Bear so she can break DPB into her antics. Oh, and also to see if DPB is a hypocrite, which is not a refutation. Funny, most times of hypocrisy; it's an observation, not a refutation. She nicely blows off Peppa basically using the same promo Kit used on Don Karnage in The Lost Cargo Of Kit Cloudkicker, Ducktales 2017. DPB passes the test in the same manner as Peppa Pig; only it's two questions because of time constraints, and she gets an orange star happy face sticker. Yeah! Peppa trolls on Teddy for eating broccoli and Mummy Pig as well, so they get stickers as well. DPB gives Peppa her red book back all up to date as she asks Peppa about how the session went and Peppa loved it of course. Everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. Ironically, the funniest ones are the ones which don't have a funny punchline because the backsplash laugh is often the punchline. Better episode than I was expecting, due to the vaccines thingie. *** 1/4 (65%).

Skateboarding: Next up is episode #338 on the animation paper as the episode opens in the boring park as the Pig family is riding on various rides. Peppa has her scooter, George has his tricycle, Mummy Pig is on her BICYCLE, BICYCLE, BICYCLE~; where Daddy Pig is on a skateboard. Daddy Pig stops and flips the skateboard up, he wishes he was as cool as Kit Cloudkicker is. Child? Adult? Does it really matter...Ummm, nope. Peppa would like to try the skateboard, but Daddy Pig kindly no sells the deal because skateboarding is difficult, even for adults. You just buried yourself there, Daddy Pig; and made Kit into a bigger star unintentionally to boot! Mummy Pig agrees with Daddy Pig and thus buries herself, but Peppa apparently knows Kit well enough that she wants to go next. She is Molly Cunningham, only two years younger at this point. Daddy decides to teach her how to skateboard at four years old and wants Peppa to take it slow as he skateboards at normal speed anyway. That says more about Daddy Pig's skills than Peppa's at this point. Peppa gets on the board and gets a lot more speed than Daddy Pig ever did. Peppa manages to get on the board and doesn't do too badly for someone doing it the first time. In fact, outside of some wobbly knees; she nailed this really well for her first time. In come for the first time in years, Belinda Bear and Simon Squirrel on skateboards. I'm guessing that their voices have changed in between the long wait between Series. Belinda and Simon exchanges notes on the skateboarding thing and Peppa proclaims that Daddy Pig is the best skateboarder in the world and Daddy Pig doesn't have the heart to tell her no. Remember, Daddy Pig submits when Suzy Sheep called science, "magic"; so why am I not surprised by this?! It's been a long time since Daddy Pig said that he's a bit of an expert on this, so Belinda kindly dares him to make it on those concrete ramps as we see footage of various denizens skateboarding on those ramps. Belinda and Simon skateboard on the higher ramp, which looks like a bowl. I think Candy Cat is also here with her skateboard. Peppa is kind of humble saying that she's not very good at skateboarding as Belinda points out that experience matters and that Belinda (and I'm guessing Simon) are almost ten years old. Daddy Pig suggests a lesson from the two ten year olds and the two ten year olds accept. Wait, I thought Daddy Pig was the expert and he's older?! Yeah. So, we continue on the slightly down slope hill as this is Peppa's first lesson.

Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig head to the bottom of the most gentle hill you ever see and barely ten feet away to catch Peppa. This is boomerang parenting going to vast extremes, fitting since one of their cousins is from Australia. Let's make it even more absurd with GEORGE trying to catch Peppa. HA! Belinda gives instructions to Peppa as Peppa gets on the skateboard. Then she starts trolling on Belinda because despite being only ten feet away, she literally is pushed at the five feet line. Wow, that gives new meaning to the phrase: "Already being on third base and thinking you score a triple." Peppa is caught and Daddy picks up Peppa while Peppa screams "I did it" multiple times, probably the most vocal range Emile Bea Smith has had in this series so far. Peppa then gets cocky and tries it again, but she falls onto the ground on her ass. Daddy Pig comes over to ask if she is all right as he helps Peppa up. Peppa is fine of course as Simon is at the bowl saying that helmets are ace, just to remind the idiots out there that wearing a helmet is important. Simon skateboards and looks really cool for a pre-school show. Peppa then dares Daddy Pig to try this and Daddy Pig is stammering like a stupid idiot, because his own "I'm a bit of an expert on these things" is about to bite him on the ass again. Belinda also said that falling down happens all the time on skateboards. Word. Daddy Pig accepts and takes the skateboard to the board and you know he's an idiot because Mummy Pig is already questionning this idea. Daddy Pig don't care; because Daddy Pig is dumb, you see. Mummy Pig asks if he had ever been on a ramp before and it's time for a MUSIC BREAK~! Daddy Pig blows her off as he is at the top next to the "!" sign which means danger is coming to Daddy Pig. Daddy Pig then realizes how high this is, because he hasn't gotten over his fear of heights completely. Too late anyway, because he's skateboarding down that ramp, regardless if he want to or not. Now do you understand why he almost never say the "I'm a bit of an expert" line anymore?! He hyperbole the ramp and then goes completely backwards into a tailspin (BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) as Belinda is loving this, so Belinda is likely cheering for Daddy Pig's death. Daddy Pig then lands on his ass on the hill in front of the babyfaces as the music stops and his skateboard bounces right into Daddy Pig's hands. Belinda and Simon so love this as Peppa declares Daddy Pig, the best skateboarding in the world because he's old. Of course! Everyone laughs as we zoom out to see skateboarders on various ramps to end the episode at 4:30. A fun episode for the most part. *** 1/2 (70%).

Mountain Climbing: Time for episode #339 on the animation paper as the episode opens on a hill containing one of those fake mountain climbing hills you use to train people how to mountain climb along with a tree and a giant crane. A note: Like Gigi Gazelle, since Grampy Rabbit has a first name now, I'll be referring to him as Reggie Rabbit from here on out. Reggie is watching over as Mummy Pig, Mummy Pig, Captain Dog, Peppa, George, Pedro F'N Pony, Danny Dog, and Suzy Sheep are going up the hill to fetch a pail of mountain climbing training. Strangerly, the kids are wearing orange shoes with laces; which is not much different from their original shoes. Reggie asks if they are ready for this and Mummy Pig asks if this is difficult; Reggie says, "yes, but it's fun". HAHA! Reggie proclaims that he has climbed mountains before, as Peppa asks if he ever got stuck. Reggie admits to this so gleefully that they even show the FLASHBACK OF DOOM of him climbing a mountain and being unable to get off said mountain. So, he rings in Mountain Rescue~! It's Miss Rabbit rescue service helicopter, of course. Reggie of course lied about this because, as Reggie is rescued using the SUCTION CUP RESCUE OF DOOM, Miss Rabbit blows off her dad for being stuck in a mountain...AGAIN! There's something not adding up here, Reggie. We return to reality (no, not really) as Danny Dog calls it brilliant. It no longer takes anything to amuse Danny Dog nowadays. Thankfully, it's all right because the mountain climbing walls are only a head taller than Reggie, actually. Oh, and it's made of plastic; but the kids don't care. At least they are climbing something, and that is what counts, am I right?! Reggie brings out the safety helmets and everyone puts them on while giggling. Then we explains the bobbly-bits known as hand and foot holds as Reggie demonstrates to easily get him onto the top of the mountain. Pedro starts and he gets the right idea, but barely makes any progress up. Peppa and Suzy can use any color they want, so they race up to see if they can get to the top with only their favorite colors, yellow for Suzy and blue for Peppa. Mummy Pig puts George on the first bobbly-bit and he uses green (for DINEASAUR, GRRRRRR~!) and makes it to the top before anyone can get close to him. YAY! One problem, he's still scared of heights and he will bawl his eyes out. I check the video...Nope; Reggie helps him down after everyone praises him for being so fast.

However, this was just Mount Snowden; there is one more mountain to climb and this one surpasses the height of even that giant crane: Mount Everrest~! It turns out that the crane is just there to bring down the SAFETY ROPE OF DOOM because not even Reggie is this sadistic to let anyone, including himself, climb without one. Reggie demonstrates his mountain climbing skills with the safety rope. Reggie swings back and slowly comes down the...MUSIC BREAK~!...rope as Reggie asks who wants to go first. George snorts and Mummy Pig is questionning this act by George. Reggie and George don't care; but Reggie does remind George that he can bounce backwards and come down anytime he wants to. George hops, skips and jumps up Mount Everrest and makes it to the top with ease. Mummy Pig proclaims that this is quite high and after the kids clap in praise of Geroge, all I can say is: Don't look down, George...Oh wait, he looks down and bawls his eyes out. Mummy Pig panics and just climbs up Mount Everrest, as Reggie protests this outrage because of DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS~!)! Mummy Pig don't care, so you know who enables George in that department. Mummy Pig makes it to the top and hugs George in a sweet moment as everyone claps in unison. So, Mummy Pig swings George back and he comes down without incident. If only George had noticed this because now Mummy Pig is stuck because of DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS~!) are there so this doesn't happen. If you cannot guess the final spot now, you have no business reading this rant. Yup; Reggie rings in Miss Rabbit's rescue service, in comes Miss Rabbit with the helicopter (who is so confused when Miss Rabbit finds out it's Mummy Pig of all people stuck on plastic Mount Everrest), Mummy Pig gets suction cupped and she is hanging like Baloo in I Only Have Ice For You as Peppa kind of trolls on Mummy Pig and Mummy Pig answers. Everyone except Mummy Pig does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. Wow, Reggie is great as usual and I love this episode. **** 1/2 (90%).

Police Boat: We continue on with episode #340 on the animation paper and open the episode on a river with Grandpa Pig and his sailing ship as Peppa, George and Freddy Fox are on deck. Why am I not surprised Freddy Fox was picked for this episode, since in storyline; Freddy wants to be a police officer when he grows up. Grandpa Pig brings out pirate costumes, asks if anyone wants to play a pirate and everyone agrees to it. Normally, this would not be a bad thing; however, the pirate flag is raised and just who comes in their police boat: Officer Panda and Officer "I never met an inanimate object I didn't like to ticket" Grey Squirrel in their police motor boat. They think Grandpa Pig the kids are real pirates. What a bunch of bastards these two police officers are?! We all know real pirates are human beings, not anthros who act like human beings. There is a huge difference! Peppa claims that they are pretending to be pirates and Panda proclaims that this is okay then; but to make sure, Grey Squirrel gets to ticket Grandpa Pig's boat, just in case. HAHA! The kids want to help the officers with police work because goodness knows they need to after being unable to tell that Freddy Fox is not a pirate! Panda says no because it's serious work, you see. So, the kids say "please" and by rule; the adults must agree to the terms. Yup, the officers agree to the terms. That word "please" is a super magical word. Damn, now I sound like Pedro Pony. That's horrifying. So, the kids all get on the boat and Grey Squirrel races stage right while Grandpa Pig waves goodbye. Grandpa Pig sits down on his ass, reads the newpaper which comes out of nowhere and then snores himself to sleep. Got that?! That yellow feather is so bad it might send Michael Eisner out of the Phantom Zone to boot. Head onto the river with the kids being amused by Grey Squirrel's driving skills. I realized that Grey Squirrel's son is Simon Squirrel who appeared two episodes ago. Grey Squirrel's cellphone rings and it's police headquarters to inform everyone that a ship is sinking. Guess who's boat it is, come on, guess; it's too shocking! SURPRISE~! IT'S OKAY BOOMER~! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Sigh, you keep punching me for being right because it's Reggie Rabbit's boat that is sinking. Somethings never change even when a lot has changed since the last time this has happened to him. I guess Miss Rabbit told him to go pound sand after the mountain climbing incident. So, a lot of sinking occurs as everyone exchanges notes and Grey Squirrel remembers to ticket the flag pole in the process. Of course!

Then the boat completely sinks as the police boat almost leaves before Reggie asks to be rescued. So, the police throw an orange life preserver and declare Reggie rescued. YAY! Not. The kids wave goodbye and the motor boat speeds away. Of course! Way to go, police! I don't think defunding this police force is going to do us any good anymore. The kids are still amused by this as Freddy Fox hears another emergency from the cell phone. Apparently, there is a pirate ship around these parts and in a surprise, none of the officers say that they took take of that and it was a fake pirate ship. Damn, you had a good setup line and the writers didn't bite?! Idiots! Anyhow; Panda proclaims that they are on the way as we head to a real pirate ship with probably only the third legit human being on this show, the pirate who makes his third appearance on this show and is the first time he actually speaks. He's also checking his treasure via the CHEST OF DEMONS. Pirate's parrot is a color palette swap of Polly Parrot, the noisy parrot from Series 1 that the show erased almost as quickly as it came?! Anyhow; they exchange notes for a while as the human pirate attempts to claim that he's playing the role of a pirate and is not a real pirate; because it worked so well at the beginning of the episode. The pirate even brings up "Talk Like A Pirate Day" claiming it's for a good cause. Yeah, sure. The police still fall for it as Grey Squirrel tickets the pirate anyway, because that is her gimmick now. I told you she's dangerously close to littering at this point. Police headquarters calls because there is a traffic jam on the river and the motorboat speeds away stage left. So, we head back to Grandpa Pig's boat as he's sleep and is literally causing a traffic jam on the river as Granddad Dog/Mummy Pig are on a tugboat, Ms. Corgi has her sailboat and there's another boat behind that. Oh, come on now! Is there some kind of festival involving boats that I'm not aware of. Or for that matter, Grandpa Pig. The police boat arrives as Peppa tells Grandpa Pig to wake up and he wakes up. He moves his motorboat upon the police's request to the left and the traffic jam is stopped as everyone else goes past. The narrator claims that everyone loves the police boat and I assure him that only Freddy does. I'm shocked that not once did Freddy want the siren on. Everyone laughs to end the episode at 4:30. This was not good as many of the spots that made it good were not in evidence and the gimmick of Grey Squirrel is boardering on addiction now. ** 1/4 (45%).

The Tractor: We finally end the second quarter of Series 7 with #341 on the animation paper and the episode opens on the boring road with Daddy Pig driving the car as the narrator tells us that for the second time in history, we are going to Mrs. Badger's farm. Peppa and George are in the back seat and Mummy Pig's in the passenger seat. Daddy Pig asks George about what they will see today and George thinks it's a dinesaur (sic), grrr~! Somethings never change. Nope, today they are seeing a tractor. Peppa asks what that is and Daddy Pig explains it as a car with big wheels as we cut to Mrs. Badger going through mud with ease with the tractor. Remember that for later. So, Daddy Pig loves tractors as he is forced to stop because there is another traffic jam, speaking of things never changing. Daddy Pig is more frustrated than my father as he honks the horn like he means it. Mummy Pig tells him to sod off on the horn honking and thus we must be patient. Daddy Pig wonders what is blocking the road. Now, you would think that they wouldn't show this and go to the spot where Daddy Pig becomes an idiot again; but not this time. Oh, no. We do an anime background stage right and then see Mrs. Badger on the road on her tractor, causing the jam because tractors are very, very slow moving vehicles. Luckly, the farm path is nearby and Mrs. Badger drives the tractor up the hill. Cameo of note: Mr. Wolf. Anyhow; the traffice goes away as Daddy Pig's car follows Mrs. Badger's tractor up the hill after pointing out that Peppa and George are here to see the farm. Mrs. Badger is happy to see them and we head up to the farm barn as Suzy Sheep, Danny Dog and Pedro F'N Pony are waiting for the piglets to arrive. The piglets get out of the car as Mummy Pig proclaims that they will be back to pick them up later on. Remember that for later. The car drives away stage left as Mrs. Badger addresses the crowd. Time to wash those hands, and it's even more important nowadays than it was decades ago. They all wash their hands in the conveniently placed washing station with soap and water while singing the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM. I should the song is a parody of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat!" song. Mrs. Badger shows off her tractor as it has big chuncky wheels and a strong engine to pull stuff. Mrs. Badger gets into the tractor and pulls the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) as she attaches a hook to a kart with seats in it. It's time for a tractor ride as everyone gets in.

The kids all cheer, of course. There are stacks of hay in the foreground and background as we go to a large field of hay grass ready to be cut. Mrs. Badger de-attaches the kart with the kids in it since they can only be alllowed to look, but not touch. Mrs. Badger drives into the field, attaches a hay cutter wheel to the front and a bale extractor on the back, all in one go. Mrs. Badger then drives the tractor and it's making bales of hay before our very eyes. She finishes the job as the kids are amazed by this and then Mrs. Badger returns to the kart greeted by a lot of slow claps from the kids. HAHA! Mrs. Badger attaches the trailer (per what the narrator says now) and we ride through the mud for a while as Mrs. Badger points out to Danny Dog that they cannot be stuck because the tractor is slow; but powerful enough to withstand the evils of mud. Mrs. Badger than drives the tractor down the hill and somehow, gets back on the road in traffic with the same traffic cars as before. That is one huge farm Mrs. Badger has to pull that one off! So, we head back to the boring road with Mummy Pig driving the car and Daddy Pig just smiling. Let me guess, for the third time in this rant alone, Mummy Pig is about to do something really stupid. So, Mummy Pig is pissed off that she is in a traffic jam, Mummy Pig honks the horn harder than Daddy Pig ever did and Daddy reminds her what she said to him! Mummy Pig blows him off, backs up the car and goes through the shortcut down the grassy knoll. I betcha Mummy Pig drives into mud and she will be stuck. I check the video...Damn, I'm so good. Daddy Pig was at first questionning this; then acted like Mummy Pig was being brilliant because she'll never be stupid...and then Mummy Pig is stuck. I'm surprised the narrator didn't say the exact words I just said a sentence ago. Cut back to Mrs. Badger as Peppa is looking backwards to see the car and points this out to Mrs. Badger. Cut back to Mummy Pig still being stuck as Daddy Pig being stuck in concrete. Mrs. Badger comes in and asks if they need help. Mummy Pig heistates; but then recoils because she's a little bit stuck. Denial is so thick as mud in these parts. Mrs. Badger uses the front hook to attach to the car and Mrs. Badger drives backwards. Despite a lot of mud sprays right into Mummy and Daddy Pig's face, the car is towed out with success. The bottom half is covered with mud; but that's normal. Mummy Pig thanks Mrs. Badger for her services as Mrs. Badger thanks her tractor. Peppa thinks tractors are the best as everyone laughs to end the episode at 4:30. This was a fine episode with a really funny climax near the end. *** 1/2 (70%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well, this set of shorts was mixed to say the least. I found Police Boat to be kind of boring and the whole ticketing angle of Grey Squirrel is getting to bad levels now that the joke has ceased to be funny anymore. Not even Reggie Rabbit could get the episode past average as most of the funny spots are just not there anymore. Trampolines and Mountain Climbing were really awesome as Mountain Climbing was great because of Grampy Rabbit being on fire still, and George really being a star despite his fear of heights. Trampolines was one of the best episodes of Series 7 and would be a Series 7 best episode had Suzy Sheep simply said: "Chop the tree down". It was dying to be used and it's not like Suzy Sheep wasn't there, either. This was also a problem with The Tractor: The narrator had a perfect moment to say "Mummy Pig is stuck" because you rarely see these spots occur. In fact, Mummy Pig was stupid in three of the six episodes in this rant alone, compared to just once for Daddy Pig! It's things like this that could have made the episodes I mentioned better because they were big parts of the actual story and you don't see this happen every often. Oh, and Health Check wasn't all that special, except for the vaccines part that deserves the high praise it should get. Overall, a lot of flawed episodes; but only one was below average, so this was good enough.

That officially ends the first half of Series 7. Yes, I realize that one episode is missing; however, it looks like it's either going to be a two parter, or a holiday special. It might also be the debut of Penny Polar Bear, who is supposed to debut on the show at some point as evident in the ending credits. I'm going to continue this series; but I would like to finish all the TaleSpin stuff that I promised to do since 2020 and failed to deliver as well, so it might be a while before I return to Peppa Pig again. It depends also on the show's own production time line as well, factoring in COVID-19 and other stress inducing issues. I might bring back Mega Man RS edition for 2022 as well. So...

Thumbs up for Trampolines, Mountain Climbing; thumbs down for Police Boat; thumb in the middle for the rest, and I'll see you all next time.

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