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Peppa Pig Series Seven #7 Rant

Reviewed: 12/21/2021
Additional Commentary: 08/09/2022

Pedro's Birthday Has Gone Dinesaur. GRRRRR!!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. More new episodes ensue as Granny Pig and the cosplayers return for a dinosaur era cosplaying, then Pedro has his birthday for real, then a visit to the only vet who believe tortioses do climb trees, then those bad episode police returns to create a detective club, then a clubhouse is created from Mr. Bull, a shop is thought of, although with zoo animals escaping to the clubhouse in an adventure of growling and finally a swimming lesson for Mummy Rabbit to finish up Series 7! Ah, this is going to be fun for me to mock. How do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Dinosaur Party!: This episode is #363 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the cyan blue house on the hill with Grandpa Pig already outside and seemly prepared for whatever hits him. Mummy Pig is driving the car this time as Peppa and George arrive, with George holding Mr. Dinesaur (sic)...GRRRR!! Peppa and George come out for the meet and greet, but Grandpa Pig gets jump scared by Granny Pig in a dinosaur costume, and somehow George does not bawl his eyes out! There is character development with George now. By the way, in Britian it's called a shock instead of a scare. So, Granny is doing another historical reinactment, this time it's the dinosaur period. Grandpa Pig ribs Granny Pig again with accusations of a tea party commencing, and considering that this happened multiple times already, the sympathy heat for Granny Pig is at an all time low. Oh, and Peppa and George have their own costumes on various dinosaurs for the educational content, but the kids don't care as they growl because they know this will turn into a party, weither there is tea or not. In comes Granddad Dog with a giant purple dinosaur in his breakdown truck as he is cosplaying a dinosaur and thus was invited to the party...ERR...I mean, the serious historical reinactment. I mean, sure there are far more offensive reinactments they could do, but we all know this won't be accurate and turn into a party, because parties are more fun than historical reinactments. There are two adults in the purple dinosaur costume, which are Granny Wolf and the debut of Granny Sheep. Why wasn't she in Charity Shop?! Of course, Grandpa Pig calls it a brontosaraus, but Granny Pig channels Edmond Elephant and Grandpa Pig blows her off on that one. Grandpa Pig bails into the house to make the tea, and Granny Pig acts like she isn't even pretending anymore to admit that this is for a tea party. So, the dinosaur cosplayers all go down the hill and the setup for the dinosaur land is so hilariously bad that there is zero creditability from Granny Pig. Maybe don't have the world so close that the camera can see the green house in the background clear as day. HAHA!

So, the historical reinactment begins with the cosplayers just stomping and roaring in a disorganized fashion. Of course! What else are they going to do?! Considering that the dinosaurs were stupid in the end, this is more accurate than most people would give credit for. In comes Grandpa Pig with the tray of tea cup with tea, just to make Granny Pig look even more like a dork. Granny Pig claims that this not a party, and I wish it was because it would be less stupid than what they are doing right now. Then their creditability drops into the negative range as Reggie Rabbit arrived dressed like a caveman. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Grampy Rabbit is always a laugh and this is no exception. He is slaying whatever hope Granny had for making a decent reinactment and it is great. He also steals Grandpa Pig's tea and sips it for good measure. HAHA! Granny is wondering why this is happening and Reggie outright says that Granny Pig stated it was a dinosaur party. Oh snap! Granny's hopes and dream are deader than my sex life. Granny tries to explain, but gets cut off within a second. Reggie's caveman scream is so great that everyone almost falls down shaking their tea cups. Then thing get even funnier and sadder for Granny Pig as Grampy Rabbit proclaims that her daughter is here. Remember that her daughter is Miss Rabbit and here she comes with the Dragon Robot from The Castle, because of course! These two rabbits are crushing me at this point! Let's bump into the cyan house on the hill and almost destroy the house while we are at it. HAHA! Granny Pig protests this whole thing as the Robot Dragon comes down the hill and Reggie is like, whatever. I died. Thankfully, Granny revived me and let's continue with the reinactment of stomping and growling, only with a Robot Dragon who looks like it wants to crush Grandpa Pig. HA! Grandpa Pig protests this outrage and this is one of the few times someone said die on a pre-school show. Which is funny, because the dinosaurs went extinct is a perfectly acceptable sub and it happened 66 million years ago due to an asteroid. Peppa asks about the asteroid and Granddad Dog explains it.

There is also a dream sequence involving the rock going through space, to visualize the point made. Okay, then. Granny Pig wants an asteroid for the cosplay, but cannot find one. Here comes Mr. Fox at the front of the house with his truck riding backwards. Which is far more impressive considering how steep the sides of the hills are in this show. By the way, the truck side is "Est. 2020", and I think that might be the copyright date of this episode. Mr. Fox gets out as Granny, Peppa and George meet and greet. Mr. Fox wants to sell her stuff for the dinosaur party and Granny Pig doesn't even correct him. So yeah, it's basically a bicker on Grandpa Pig more than anything else. Granny wants an asteroid, a giant rock that is very big. Mr. Fox has no actual asteroid (BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!); but he has the next best thing: A giant beach ball, and that will have to do. Of course! The giant beach ball bounces down the hill, and why does it sound like it's filled with concrete? At least it didn't go off of anyone's head like Kit had it done in All's Whale That Ends Whale, but still. The beach ball bounces off the Robot Dragon as Mr. Fox is loving this party; and now Granny Pig blows him off; but gets cut off by Mr. Fox because he don't care as he brings in a pink boom box, probably sold in sets of two; and plays music. Everyone dances because this reinactment is hosed like the previous six or so, and that ends the episode at 4:30. This was so great as the end credits features more Peppa Pig singing and growling and damn I'm so good because the copyright is the same as Mr. Fox's truck side. How about that?! Episode was very fun, but they are going to run out of ideas on this angle at some point. **** 1/4 (85%).

Superhero Party: We continue on with #364 on the animation paper and the episode opens as the sports arena with Super Potato decorations on it. The narrator proclaims that it is Pedro Pony's birthday as zoom into the sports arena and see Pedro F'N Pony wearing the Super Potato costume, which means he's literally a potato in his bloody red underwear. HAHA! Pedro dances around for a while as it took seven series just to get to Pedro having a party of his own. I don't think even Suzy Sheep has had a birthday yet and she was the first new character that was introduced in Peppa Pig, back in Series 1, episode 3! This is so unfair. Mummy Pony and Miss Rabbit are tending to the decorations as Pedro cuts the Super Potato promo, which is a parody of the Superman promo, just a giant middle finger. Enter Mummy Pig without costume, and Peppa and George with the same costumes on. Apparently, only Pedro was supposed to dress up because Pedro is kind of disappointed that they did dress up in the same costume. In comes Mandy Mouse, Edmond Elephant, Rebecca Rabbit, Danny Dog, Zoe Zebra, Freddy Fox, and Suzy Sheep dressed as Super Potatoes. Miss Rabbit claims that you cannot have too many potatoes. I think thousands of experts might dispute that claim, Miss Rabbit. Danny Dog is confused at Pedro's blinking of the eyes because Pedro is doing the X-Ray vision spot on Danny Dog's tummy. Pedro acting job is 1% cooler than Mummy Pig's winking in Monkey Has A Cough. It's just pretend, you see. The kids giggle as we jump cut to outside with no warning to the real Super Potato doing his promo while flying in the sky. Super Potato lands on the roof, opens the glass window on top of said roof and calls out the kids inside. He does not get stuck in the roof as he flies down to address the kids. The kids are in awe, because you see, in storyline like Father Christmas, Super Potato is real and doesn't play peek-a-boo like most super-beings, especially God. Super Potato called Pedro: Pedro The Pony, even though in storyline Pony is Pedro's legit last name. Someone BBQ this potato, STAT! No, not the kids; the real Super Potato!

By the way, Super Potato had a message from Pedro Pony to come here because Pedro invited Super Potato to the party. Which is hilarious because it implies that Pedro know Super Potato's address. Keep in mind, Super Potato is NOT Mr. Potato in anyway. Super Potato thinks someone is in distress, Pedro merely invited him and so Super Potato flies up and teases going home before Peppa cuts him off. Super Potato apparently doesn't like parties. Maybe I'm Super Potato:

Narrator: Gregory Weagle is not Super Potato.
Me: I'm Super Donair, that's more like it. (WAH-WAH!)

Super Potato is upside down and then he decides to stay after all because there are balloons and games. The kids all pop as Miss Rabbit brings out game #1: Pass the parcel from Edmond Elephant's birthday. The kids and manchild all sit down (Super Potato, everyone) as the rules of engagement are announced. Keep in mind, the winner gets the toy inside, but you can only unwrap one layer at the time. The music plays and the parcel is passed until Super Potato gets it and the music stops. Instead of Super Potato just unwrapping the parcel completely because he doesn't know how to hold back his strength and wasn't trying to cheat, he cheats anyway by using his X-Ray vision. I realize that this was in reference to Pedro pretending to do it earlier on, but what a heel this Super Potato is. Someone bake this potato, STAT! No, not the kids; the real Super Potato! Miss Rabbit rightfully calls him out on that, and then it pulls the thing out anyway to get the car. Which is worse now because he already cheated. If he just pulled on the parcel using his strength only, I would have sympathy for him because he didn't try to cheat, it was because he was way too strong. This was so stupid. Miss Rabbit takes the toy car and threatens to throw him out of the party if he continues to use super powers and Super Potato agrees to not use his super powers during the party. So, next up is helium filled balloons as George gets a balloon and he lets go because we haven't had enough series doses of George bawling his eyes out. I betcha George wanted the green balloon instead, and he got it anyway.

I think this is the second or third instance in the entire series where George cried to get his own way. Most times it's because he got punched down by Peppa, or something died or injured in his eyes and was very sad. Rare times it's getting frightened by his own favorite things and sometimes his own scare tactics. Also, this is the only time where George cried to get his own way and got away with it, and even then; there were lots of balloons around. George gets the green balloon and then Miss Rabbit blows up a red balloon with the helium tank so that it's so big when Miss Rabbit grabs it, she goes up towards the ceiling and through the glass window because Super Potato forgot to close the window. I think both the adult and manchild are to blame for this one equally. Suzy Sheep's unemotional promo of Miss Rabbit going up almost crushed me for a few seconds. The kids are begging for Super Potato to break the rules and even Super Potato no sells because he never breaks a promise. Miss Rabbit is screaming outside as Mummy Pony tells Super Potato basically that saving someone with super powers would not be breaking the rules, so he's allowed to use them right now and the kids approve of this. Super Potato then flies into the sky and then we get the finish: Super Potato uses his laser eyes to pop the balloon, then the elastic arms to catch Miss Rabbit, and fly down to the ground and that is that. By the way; why bother with the laser eyes?! Just grab her and then have Miss Rabbit let go of the balloon. Then both repay their stupidity in the end. Miss Rabbit thanks Super Potato and then Super Potato literally drops her on her ass. What a dick?! Someone make...ah, forget it! Let's just call this the best birthday party ever and do the backsplash laugh while Mummy Pony is holding the birthday with unlit candles to end the episode at 4:30. This was fun, but remind me to never invite Super Potato to a party ever again. He might fry my house. *** 1/4 (65%).

A Day With Doctor Hamster: Next up is episode #365 on the animation paper as the episode opens at the vet hospital on the hill as we head inside Doctor Hamster's examination room with Doctor "Tortoises Cannot Climb Trees Despite Tiddles Always Doing Just That" Hamster, Peppa Pig and Nurse Suzy Sheep. We exchange notes for a while as there is a poster of Tiddles in the background. The sign reads: Tortoises Climb Trees No Matter What Doctor Hamster Thinks. Okay, I made that one up. Peppa calls herself Doctor Piggy. Can you be arrested for impersonating a doctor? Apparently, in the Spongebob Squarepants world, you can. So, it's time to bring in the patients. We start with Nigel the newt from Reggie Rabbit and it literally takes twenty seconds to examine him and he's fine; just drink a lot of water. Reggie is happy and takes the tank away stage left. Next patient is being called by Doctor Piggy and Nurse Suzy as it's Pedro F'N Pony with his stick insect Stephen. They meet and greet for a while. Peppa wants Pedro to call her Doctor Piggy, and Pedro says "okay, Peppa" and skips in. HAHA! Peppa cannot believe this, like it was a felonous insult to her. So, we have the checkup; and Doctor Hamster thinks something is wrong because Stephen is not moving as Peppa and Suzy point out that this is because that is Stephen's gimmick. Yes, Doctor Hamster not only thinks tortoises cannot climb trees, also thinks stick insects not moving is a sign if illness. Why is she the pet vet again?! When Peppa and Suzy know more than you do, it's time to check the license again. Also, make sure Stephen drinks lots of water and Pedro takes his cage and skips away stage left. Doctor Hamster is the worst vet I have ever seen. So, Suzy wants to call the next patient and she calls in Gigi Gazelle with Ginger and Brian guinea pigs. Now let's see if Doctor Hamster screws this one up. Apparently, Brian and Ginger have swapped personalities, but Doctor Hamster sees them as happy, so it's all good. Hey, maybe they had the same personalities, but one get more defined than the other on certain days. Human beings so this trait, too. Also, they should drink lots of water.

Gigi puts the guinea pigs into the cage and walks away stage left. Next up is Grandpa Pig with Polly Parrot in a cage. And it just occured to me, Mr. Bull has Ginger the goldfish in a fishbowl on his person! So, it wasn't Miss Rabbit's pet all along, it was Mr. Bull's. Maybe he's pet sitting for Miss Rabbit, I don't know. Polly even remember to copy with the narrator says, that was funny. So, we have the check up as Grandpa Pig claims that Polly has a cough, and Polly coughs in a weird way. Doctor Hamster is confused as well as Grandpa Pig coughs and Polly copies him; which Suzy sees right away. Wait, since when did Suzy know about Polly? I would think Peppa would have noticed it first. Oh well, can you not bury Doctor Hamster even further into the ground?! Worse: Grandpa Pig legit has a cough and Doctor Hamster cannot treat him because she only treats animals. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Human beings are animals, and anthros are half animals anyway. Way to bury Doctor Hamster there, show! Grandpa Pig leaves with Polly as there are four more people with pets to treat, including Officer Grey Squirrel with a blue bird. Doctor Hamster comes out, tells them to drink water and then slams the door shut, resetting the digital counter. WHAT THE HELL?! I'm certain that this is against the code of vets. Yup, Doctor Hamster is the worst vet I have ever seen and is suffering burnout ala Doctor Brown Bear now. Time to introduce a new vet doctor to this group, because this is getting out of hand now. Doctor Hamster is calling it a day; when suddenly a box is moving and shaking in the background, and it's Tiddles the Tortoise awaking from his sleep throughout the winter, so, it is spring at this time. Time for food and water as Tiddles drinks in a lid. Peppa calls this all brilliant and I died as everyone does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 4:30. This was hilariously bad, but at least the burial of Doctor Hamster was funny and we can move on. Call it ** 3/4 (55%), because I feel generous. Doctor Hamster seriously needs to follow Doctor Brown Bear's example now and find a vet with a clue when it comes to tortoises.

Swimming Lesson: Next up we continue on with episode #366 on the animation paper, with the episode opening at the swimming center on the hill as we slowly zoom into the swimming pool which looks like a literal wading pool for adults. Remember that for later. Miss Rabbit is addressing the kids, which is weird because Gigi Gazelle is a much better swimmer than anyone since in storyline, she is supposed to be this champion in swimming. Kids: Peppa Pig, Freddy Fox, Suzy Sheep, Pedro F'N Pony, Danny Dog, Gerald Giraffe, Molly Mole and Mandy Mouse sitting on the edge of the pool because her legs don't work like the rest. The boys are wearing swimming trunks and the girls are wearing swimming suits. I should note that in the canoe trip, Mrs. Crocodile was wearing a two piece costume, which is weird since this isn't something you normally see in a pre-school show. Usually, you might see it in a big children's show. So, the kids are all splashing around for a while (with Mandy doing it off-screen) as they grab the color floats and they wobble like spaghetti. They tuck the floats under their arms and start swimming for a while, under Miss Rabbit's instructions. Since they only have to use their arms to swim, Mandy Mouse is able to do it without having her kick her legs, for obvious reasons. In comes Mummy Rabbit and Rebecca Rabbit in her swimming costume, late. By the way, Rebecca's swimming costume is the same color as a carrot, because she loves carrots of course! Rebecca goes into the pool, swims on a float and wants Mummy Rabbit to see her. Then the plot begins as Mummy Rabbit wishes to go into the pool, but she cannot swim a lick. Miss Rabbit offers Mummy Rabbit swimming lessons and Mummy Rabbit isn't so sure because it's a children's lesson, but Miss Rabbit blows it off because you are never too old or young to learn something new. Mandy agrees with this and Mummy Rabbit agrees to the terms, goes into the changing room and puts on her swimming costume. Wait, so Mummy Rabbit's swimming costume is in the changing room? That's weird since I don't think Mummy Rabbit would have brought the costume on her own if she wasn't swimming. Mummy Rabbit slowly walks into the pool, because she thinks she's going to drown in the wading pool, but then realizes that she didn't and she's fine.

So, Mummy Rabbit tucks a purple float under her arms and lifts her feet up. She is swimming and then her body bobs like a bouy in the sea and gets water splashed in her face, Mummy Rabbit does not like this at all in spite of Miss Rabbit's assurances that this is normal. I have watched Swimming, and I don't have a lot of sympathy for her since Daddy Pig got water splashed in his face a lot more than Mummy Rabbit did and Mummy Rabbit was in that very episode! The pool was deeper in that episode, a lot deeper; even the wading area. Gerald reassures her that this is fine and it's the first time Gerald has spoke in literally years. Gerald keeps his head up at first, and now goes low in the water; so I see where Gerald has been all those years. Slow claps abound as Mummy Rabbit isn't so sure about her doing that. She doesn't want to do it, so the next lesson is Gerald's method of handling water as everyone puts their chins close to the water. Mummy Rabbit decides to try it out and then blame Gerald later if she drowns. Then we blow bubbles and Mummy Rabbit does that without further incident. Next up, they do the bubble blowing spot with chins underwater while swimming and Mummy Rabbit manages to do this without even questionning it. This goes on for a while. Next up is called the Starfish; which is basically lie on your back and float. The far shot makes it look like Mummy Rabbit is way too big to do it due to spacing, but the close up shot shows her doing it and having perfect space even though it appears she almost kicked Molly Mole in the face after Molly explains it. That had to suck. The lesson is over and everyone did so well, it's time to go the conveniently placed closet on the western front and open it to reveal the inflatable toys! Of course! I cannot do this justice, it was awsome. Gerald and Mummy Rabbit have a contest to see who can be the biggest fool on the slide, Mummy Rabbit wins as she lands on her ass hard on the floor of the wading pool. Probably has a fractured tail bone after that one. Peppa is on the dolphin, Mandy is on cheese, there is watermelons, octopi and purple crocodile which Mummy Rabbit tries to use to scare the kids and that failed hilariously. Peppa praises Mummy Rabbit, Rebecca praises her, everyone praises her while playing on the toys. Danny is on a banana, the purple crocodile turns green with Pedro, and Molly has a beach ball. Yeah, this ends the episode at 4:30. This was a decent episode with a fun ending and not much else. *** (60%).

Detective Club: Next up is episode #367 on the animation paper and we open with a shot of a playground with a clubhouse in the middle. I should note that there is an episode of the building of this clubhouse, but that is actually the last episode of Series 7, so just pretend that whomever is airing these episodes has zero idea what continuity is. The kids: Peppa Pig, George Pig, Mandy Mouse, Freddy Fox, Pedro F'N Pony, Suzy Sheep, Penny Polar Bear, Richard Rabbit and Reggie Rabbit as Grampy Rabbit. Hey, I know he's a senior citizen, but he's a kid at heart. All the kids go into the clubhouse and sit down as Freddy Fox addresses the kids. Freddy wants to play detectives and create a detective club to solve mysteries. I wish Freddy's mystery was finding out how the police siren goes "nenanenanena". That would have been money! Pedro shows that he's still clueless as he goes over to a conveniently placed fake phone and acts like it's real without any hint of irony. Suzy calls him out on it and Pedro actually is playing troll on Suzy! HAHA! Pedro actually fooled me on that one. GREAT! Suzy gets it as everyone goes outside to meet Daddy Pig. Peppa exchanges notes on the situation; but it's home time and Peppa is not happy to hear that one. Daddy Pig agrees to let Peppa come back to the clubhouse tomorrow and Peppa is happy for that at least. Daddy Pig then goes to his red car and he cannot open it as it is locked. Worse, Daddy Pig doesn't have his keys. How stupid do you...oh wait, Daddy Pig is still dumb. 360+ episodes and he still is the dumbest hyper-compentent guy on this show. Peppa and George are popping for this, so I call BS on that one. Mandy welcomes the Pig family back as even Daddy Pig is asking for their help now. Freddy calls this a mystery as Daddy Pig is crawling on his hands and knees like a fool as usual. Freddy blows him off for that one because we use deduction and not get their knees dirty. So, after some thinking, they decide to ring up and phone the police. Yes, they used both the British and American versions of the same sentence, so the American haters of this show have gotten to this show. So we head to the police station as Mr. Fox is walking near the area. Head inside with Officer "Why does this show hate my kids now?!" Panda and Officer "I never met an object I didn't want to ticket" Gray Squirrel. Officer Panda is eating donuts to show how Canadian he is, which is he's not. The officers complain about a slow day...

...and we then return to the clubhouse as Daddy Pig calls this idea brilliant. One problem, Daddy's cellphone is in the car which Pedro gleefully points out, which makes Pedro both clueless and smart at the same time. You know Daddy Pig is dumb when Pedro F'N Pony looks like the brightest person in the entire room. I howled with laughter. Daddy Pig asks for Reggie's phone, and he left his at home, making him look like a geek. Worse, Grampy Rabbit completely lacks self-awareness and wants to use the wooden fake phone in the clubhouse! Suzy Sheep calls him out on that; but Reggie screams loudly into said phone and that is still enough for the two officers to come out of the station (and destroy the box of donuts in the process) and head to the clubhouse. Reggie is still awesome at this point. Sadly, here comes the bad episode police to the clubhouse, breaking every traffic rule there is. The officers get out of the car and Officer Gray Squirrel asks what emergency is it and she marks off: flood, earthquake, etc. etc. Officer? The fact that no water or damage has been done anywhere points to the fact that no crime nor horrible natural disaster has happened. Daddy Pig points out that he's locked out of his car and the Pig family cannot go home. The officers don't care because this'll work. You know it's a slow day when they are willing to do something like that. Penny claims that it was the kids idea, so word. Officer asks Daddy Pig and Daddy Pig claims that he lost his keys. Officer Panda asks Daddy Pig if he left them in the most obvious place which is his pockets. Gray Squirrel is writing notes on a pad, and you would think that Daddy probably left the keys in the cars. That would be dumb, but at least it would make sense and create a bit of suspense. Nope! Daddy Pig checks his pockets and finds his keys! What a stupid idiot Daddy Pig is?! He wasted the officers' time with this even though the officers wanted something to do. To make this even dumber, the keys have Mr. Potato on the key chain and Daddy Pig proclaims that he never knew he had pockets. Officer Panda's smile says "I wish I was somewhere else right now and how did Daddy Pig ever get past six years old?!"; but they all get over it. The kids get all the credit, despite it being Officer Panda pointing out the obvious! Officer Panda wants a clubhouse and Gray Squirrel points out the obvious for us as well. Panda loves the slide in the kids' clubhouse as everyone starts playing around the area to end the episode at 4:30. At least the officers got some of their heat back. Reggie is still the star; but it's just another Peppa Pig love in. *** (60%).

The Club House: We continue this show with episode #368 on the animation paper and open with the kids at the playground sans the clubhouse from the previous episode. Kids: Peppa, Suzy Sheep, Danny Dog, Candy Cat, Gerald Giraffe, Pedro F'N Pony, Penny Polar Bear and Mandy Mouse. Adults: Mummy Pig, Daddy Pig, Mummy Sheep, Mummy Mouse, and Mummy Polar Bear. Suzy and Peppa are in the swinging bars being cheeky monkeys. The kids are playing like kids as they never want to stop. So, in comes Mr. Bull to order them to stop complete with construction cone and the jackhammer of death. Uh-oh! Mr. Bull's deconstruction kink is kicking in again! Peppa demands answers to this outrage as Mr. Bull proclaims that he's digging up the playground. AGAIN~! That sounds awfully familiar and Daddy Pig should be fleeing the premises with his kids at once before he gets wrecked again, like in Simple Science. Mr. Bull creates a hole in the ground as the adults think this is some sort of mistake. Nah, this is a ritual to trigger Daddy Pig because in comes Mr. Labo (the most sexist character in the show) to pour concrete into the ground. Come on, now; you can't tell me this isn't some intentional attempt to remind Daddy Pig of the end of Simple Science, now. Hell, Mr. Bull does the "test the concrete" spot like Daddy Pig did, except that Mr. Bull was smart enough to not wade in the concrete. Mr. Bull even said "Now what were you going to say?" At this point, I was wrecked. The adults ask about the concrete base and it's basically for the construction crew to put in the clubhouse we would see in the previous episode. Mr. Bull threatens to take it back and the adults relent and accept the clubhouse. Mr. Bull assembles the slide and shows off the sphere swing from earlier in the previous episode. It's kind of sad that the television broadcaster had no clue how to air these properly so the introduction was screwed up; but this is not the creator's fault. They did a decent job showing a tour of the clubhouse both inside and out. There is a table with a tea set as Mr. Bull has to remind Daddy Pig that this is for the kids because Daddy Pig is still dumb. By the way, a stove is called a cooker in Britan as Pedro helpfully points out. The fridge has plastic food, including plastic cheese which Mandy love. Penny Polar Bear opened the fridge by the way as Suzy and Peppa find the wooden toy phone as expected. Mr. Bull has to point out that it's a pretend phone.

Peppa does telephone sounds to amuse me and probably annoy everyone else. Suzy wants Peppa to answer the fake phone and says it without a hint of irony. Suzy still thinks this is a legit phone despite Peppa making ringing sounds. Who's trolling who here? I don't know and I don't care at this point. I just want to finish Series 7 for real! Oh, get use to this clubhouse as well since I have evidence and photos that Series 8 contains at least two episodes connected to this clubhouse, but no video is present at this point outside of the UK. I know this because at least one of the episodes has Emily Elephant and Rebecca Rabbit, whom have NOT been in the clubhouse yet. Peppa finally answers the phone and Mr. Bull asks who it is without a hint of irony. Peppa states that the King Of The World is talking to her. I betcha the King Of The World is real and is Canadian. Prove me wrong, writers; prove me wrong. Peppa proclaims that she's busy and hangs up. HAHA! We also get the counter and wooden window opened as they can double this as a shop or cafe. Penny Polar wants to take Mr. Bull's order. We have pretend tea and pretend coffee; which Mr. Bull goes for the pretend tea and Penny Polar Bear pours from the purple tea kettle. Sadly, it doesn't go into a matching purple cup; it's the blue coffee cup. Sigh. Mr. Bull cosplays drinking tea as the kids tell him to have a nice day. They should tell him to be constructive, but that would be kink shaming and that's wrong. There is a ramp in the clubhouse as the kids go up to the balcony which is connected to the slide of course. Mr. Bull has to take the wheelchair down to ground level to allow Mandy to slide down the slide with the kids and then Mummy Mouse puts Mandy back in the wheelchair on the way down. Everyone runs around to go into the clubhouse to use the slide again as then everyone stops and cheers on Mr. Bull complete with clapping. Mummy Sheep and Daddy Pig want to join in; but the kids blow them off because the clubhouse is for children as the door is shut tight. The adults laugh as the kids play around to end the episode at 4:30. Really fun episode and a really good start to the clubhouse angle. *** 1/2 (70%).

Clubhouse Shop: We end Series 7 with episode #369 on the animation paper and open the episode at the clubhouse with the kids and adults. Kids: Peppa Pig, Mandy Mouse, Emily Elephant, Danny Dog, Penny Polar Bear, Rebecca Rabbit, Pedro F'N Pony and Suzy Sheep. Adults: Daddy Pig, Mummy Sheep, Dr. Elephant, Mr. Rabbit, Mummy Mouse. The kids play around and then head into the clubhouse at the table with a cash register, buttons and signs. They giggle and Peppa asks what is today's game. Suzy says it's time to play shop as Emily takes the register and puts it on the counter in front of the window. Danny is confused about what to sell at said shop and Manny claims that they'll sell plastic food because this is a pretend shop, you see. Okay. Mandy puts the products onto the counter as Mummy Mouse orders the plastic cheese with the plastic apple. Well, this show is suppose to be a plastic work of art, so okay then. Mandy opens the cash register and despite it costing $2, Mandy calls it a lot of money. HAHA! $2 is barely sales tax money nowadays. Mummy Mouse of course has no money, so Pedro makes the save as the buttons are the currency. Of course! I'm so sad that buttons are not legal tender in this show, that would make Pedro look absolutely clueless otherwise. Mummy Mouse picks the neon green and brown buttons to give to Mandy Mouse and that is that. Mummy Sheep is next and Suzy Sheep offers to sell her toy owl to her. Apparently, Mummy Sheep has a neon green button already, accepts the deal, whatever. Mummy Sheep is stroking the toy owl and Suzy asks if she can have it back which confuses Mummy Sheep. Yeah, Suzy and Mummy Sheep's gimmick is that they take everything seriously, even pretend. Ironic that the child Suzy has at least smarten up to it. Mummy Sheep gives Suzy Sheep the owl back and all is well. Next up is Dr. Elephant as he wants some fruit juice, Emily Elephant says no; so Pedro decides to ring in some via the wooden phone. Considering how clueless Pedro Pony has been booked on this show, I cannot tell if he's working me or shooting on me. He's working because he returns saying the fruit juice will be released tomorrow. Wa-wa! Dr. Elephant walks away disappointed. Mummy Rabbit is next and she asks for some cake. Rebecca shows off a toy cupcake in the toy oven, HAR-HAR! Rebecca takes the cupcake out as the narrator explains the toy oven, that wasn't needed, but thanks anyway! Rebecca goes over and then asks what cake Mummy likes, and Mummy asks for a carrot cake, so it's a carrot cake according to Rebecca. It's pretend, so it works. Rebecca thought Mummy Rabbit was shooting on her; but it's just Mummy Rabbit being Mummy Rabbit, so she pays with a giant cyan button with a "one" cut into the button.

Next up is Daddy Pig and I'm waiting with baited breath to see a troll move happen, because this is Peppa Pig we are talking about here. Daddy Pig asks what they move and Peppa claims that she is selling magical clothes that are invisible and Daddy Pig wants to be an emperor. Uh-oh! Daddy Pig has no clothes, and he doesn't get the punchline of the "emperor has no clothes". I'm not explaining it here, you will all have to learn it the hard way as I often do. The clothes cost five buttons and there are five buttons on the counter; Daddy Pig picks up the five buttons and puts them into the cash register. The kids try to get him to take his clothes off; but Daddy Pig kindly decides to try them at home. He knows the BS&P of this show, so he's not that dumb! Next up is Mr. Rabbit, so I guess Mummy Rabbit was either written in by teleport, or the camera filming the cellphone footage of the video I found cut her out of the picture. Figures, knowing them. Mr. Rabbit wants something but Rebecca takes the cash register into the clubhouse and the kids shut the window to close up shop. The kids also giggle at Mr. Rabbit's expense as he walks away. I guess Mr. Rabbit should have known about the risks of supplies are limited, like parking cars at owner's risk. Wah-wah! The kids then all come out and play on the slide and swing to take a break according to the narrator, when it's more likely to give the other kids something to do since they are running short on running time. Oh, snap; the ice cream jingle rings and here comes Mr. Labodour in his ice cream truck, so he has not been fired from his job after all. He stops on the steepest side of the hill and opens the side window as the kids all run in because they all scream for ice cream. Mr. Labodour gives them ice cream just like that and Pedro pays Mr. Labo with buttons. HAHA! Mr. Labo is not amused by this as Pedro calls it pretend money. To be honest, after Funfair and his sexist attitude, Pedro heeling him here is glorious. Mr. Labo decides to play along as Daddy Pig pays with a blue button and he gets an ice cream; so Mr. Labo uses the DEBIT DEVICE OF DOOM to counter this nonsense and Daddy Pig has to swipe his debit card to actually pay for the ice cream. HAHA! Apparently, the ice cream truck is literally parked to the right of the clubhouse as the kids all laugh because trolling Daddy Pig is awesome. Peppa Pig calls this the best clubhouse in the world as everyone laughs to end the episode at 4:30. A fine episode with a funny finish and not much else. *** (60%).

Clubhouse Adventure: To end Series 7, this is #370 on the animation paper and we open at the clubhouse with the kids all playing in the clubhouse while the parents watch on. Kids: Peppa Pig, Penny Polar Bear, Suzy Sheep, Mandy Mouse, Pedro F'N Pony and Wendy Wolf. Adults: Daddy Pig, Mummy Mouse, Mummy Sheep, Doctor Polar Bear, Mummy Polar Bear and Mr. Wolf. The kids all head inside the clubhouse for the meet and talk. Suzy opens the shutters on the window and wants to play adventures today. Suzy monologues about dangerous wild animals, all while Daddy Pig is on his cellphone talking to someone, no one cares about anyway. It must be work related as we head back inside with Suzy Sheep monologuing even more. The kids all giggle about the prospect of Daddy Pig being a wild animal. Well, he loves concreate, which is pretty wild for a pre-school show, so yeah. Daddy Pig continues to talk on his cellphone some more and Peppa rudely cuts him off and Daddy Pig tells whomever to call back later. Somethings never change. Daddy Pig hangs up his cellphone as Peppa wants Daddy Pig to become a wild animal. This is no worse than being a domseticed animal, so why not?! Daddy Pig gladly accepts this one and it just shows how clueless Daddy Pig can be when this is classic Peppa trolling. Daddy Pig is snorting and on all fours as Peppa, Penny and Wendy are amused by this noise. Mandy comes out and proclaims that they need more wild animals. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Lack of self-awareness much there, Mandy?! Mummy Mouse arrives and Mandy demands scary animal noises from Mummy. Mummy decides to give it a try, Mummy Mouse tries to do scary mouse sounds and none of it works because mice are only scary when they shed dieases, not making sounds. It is so pathetic that Mandy is calling her out on it! HAHA! Mummy Mouse apologizes as Pedro comes out and asks if Mummy Mouse can growl and Mummy Mouse decides to give it a go, but Mummy Polar Bunny growls and this shocks her so much that Mummy Mouse jumps high into the air. Mummy Mouse is shocked in being given a shock and then Doctor Polar Bear joins the fun. This almost works again, but Mummy Mouse holds onto the slide as the polar bears growl to give the narrator something to do.

Peppa and Penny Polar Bear watch out of the window amused by this growling. The kids all bail inside the clubhouse and shut the windows as the adults walk around growling in a disorganized fashion. Peppa and Danny open the door as Danny taunts the adults because the clubhouse is for kids only and they are safe from this growling and squeaking, so to speak. In comes Mr. Wolf growling and asks the kids what the clubhouse is built of because the gimmick is that he's the legit Big Bad Wolf from those fairy tales. The kids say that it's made of plastic, so Mr. Wolf decides to do his huffing and puffing and tries to blow the clubhouse down and he fails miserably. HAHA! The kids love it as more growling and taunting continues until Mr. Lion and Mrs. Crocodile arrive out of nowhere and it's a good thing Gigi isn't here because I don't have to hear Mr. Lion calls Gigi a wilderbeast. Mr. Lion then claims that a bunch of animals from the zoo have escaped and all the adults bail behind the clubhouse in terror. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! They are all grown anthromorphic animals and they all flee in terror. At least when Kit ran away from Beartafly in Lost Cargo of Kit Cloudkicker!, at least it was an actual manticore and looked frightening. I mention this because somehow the animals arrive at the clubhouse and it's just a bunch of penguins, making the grown adults look like a bunch of even bigger geeks. Whatever, everyone giggles, narrator does his spiel and that ends the episode and Series 7 proper at 4:30. Once Mr. Wolf came in, everything turned into instant comedy for me. A note: I finally saw the full episode on YTV Treehouse and despite having a full week to sink in, I was still able to remember most of the episode despite having memory issues and working on the PlayStation 3 game list for North America. Yeah, I've been slacking off at this point. *** 1/2 (70%).

And we have one more thing left to do...

The Peppa Pig Pilot: Oh hell, yes! This is from a demostration event sometime in 2002 showing a pretty barebones pilot of the show. The narrator is mostly the same from 2004 and the opening is basically the pink title in cursive writing against a sky blue background. We head to Peppa being shown on a sunny day looking at the hard camera. Don't expect a lot of animation, since it was a pilot pitch to execs. Peppa waves to the hard camera with the snort that sounds like someone snapped an elastic band on cue. George comes in as they play violin music as the music is basically the first few bars of the opening theme song which is extremely prototyping stage at this point. Snort sounds the same as Peppa's by the way. Mummy Pig comes in as she has a normal pig snort that sounds like Peppa's final snort. Daddy Pig walks in, snorts so loudly, everyone falls down and then they laugh like they did the backsplash laugh, only much slower. The timing of the spots would be much better in the final. Peppa's snorting when laughing sounds a lot better here. So, yeah, the opening sequence in prototype fashion here. Zoom in to Peppa laughing and snorting as we get the title screen logo in prototype mode again. So, we have Peppa jumping in muddy puddles, and Mummy Pig stops her because the first rule of muddy puddles applies even in the prototype. Peppa apologizes for jumping in muddy puddles without her boots, and most of this is fine. Peppa puts on her yellow boots as Mummy Pig leaves and it's time to do the puddle jumping as George wants in. Peppa jumps out and protests this outrage because of the first rule of puddle jumping. The narrator is calling her either fussy or bossy. Okay, it's bossy. George bails and then returns with his red boots on and it's jumping for joy time, or something. No one gets muddy and no one does the backstroke in the muddy puddle though.

So, we head to Mummy Pig's office with Mummy Pig on her computer as per "Mummy At Work", which I didn't like. Somehow, her computer looks like a giant tower in the background, and the disc drive opens up. Peppa enters and sits in Mummy Pig's lap to play on the computer and somehow only pushes the key to close and open the CD drive. Okay, that was funny, shocked it wasn't used in the final product. Jump cut to a shot of Daddy Pig being Grandpa Pig and digging up his garden with a shovel. Peppa enter with a yellow plastic shovel, jumps into the hole and shows how to do it, by not even coming close to shoveling any dirt out. That was also funny. Next up is inside the sitting room with George and a yellow balloon. George nose butts the balloon forward for a while, and Peppa enters stage left with an orange balloon. Peppa blows off George's nose skills and kicks the balloon so hard that it pops. YOU TROLL~! George rightfully bawls on cue for that one. That wasn't too bossy narrator, that was cruelly rude. George's crying is really unique sounding in this one, although it is a prototype version of the first bawling sound in Muddy Puddle before they went with the shrieking noise in the cry later on. Peppa does make it up somewhat by giving him the orange balloon and apologzing for it. So, we move on to the entire Pig Family doing the earthquake ritual after Peppa repeats the rule for the third time in this episode alone. The narrator does the "Person loves X, everyone loves X!" before Daddy Pig slips and falls on his ass, because mud is slippery of course. Everyone pauses and then everyone does the backsplash laugh as Daddy Pig laughs with them. Zoom into Peppa again as all the mud is gone and we go to the Peppa Pig logo again to end the pilot at 3:30 approx. George is voiced by a different person; but I cannot make it's name out since the video is really blurry. Overall, it is what it is as it was a prototype clip show of scenes for the real show later on. Fanboy & Chum Chum was a much better pilot, but Peppa Pig is a much better show, so ** 1/2 (50%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well, a mixed bag of shorts this time around. Dinosaur Party was the only really fun one of the set mostly due to the cosplayers losing credability by the second with their reinactment as there is no way this can be accurate enough to be taken seriously other than being a party. Also, Grandpa Pig continues to be right all along about the tea parties, so there is that. The remaining episodes were decent to fun and not much else to say. This officially ends Series 7 of Peppa Pig and this will be it until UK broadcast television finishes releasing the remaining episodes on television that were already on Youtube several months ago. So, I'm back to Mega Man and TaleSpin until then. So...

Thumbs up for Dinosaur Party, thumbs in the middle for the rest, and I'll see you all next time.

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