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Peppa Pig Series Eight #1 Rant

Reviewed: 03/26/2023

Two Mommies, Two Plus Hippies & A Sobbing Peppa!

Okay fans; I have now decided to rant on this series full time, because I do in fact like this show enough that I can handle the best and worst of the Pig family from Great Britian. Time to resume Peppa Pig as this is officially the eighth series in the last 18+ years or so. YAY! Or maybe not! Today's episode list features some bowling, a water park, a playgroup garden, monkey trees, a big hill, Granny Pig cosplaying peace and harmony from the 1960's and we talk about families as Penny Polar Bear finally on purpose outs her own mommies. Yes, the introduction of the first same sex couple in Peppa Pig has been made official, even though they were always there and Penny already confessed before this episode even happened. How do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

All the episodes are done by Neville Astley, Mark Baker and Phil Hall. Animation is done by Astely Baker Davies animation; with the two mentioned creators and Phil Davies.

Families: We waste no more time than is needed because this episode is #371 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the school house on the hill with Gigi Gazelle addressing the students on families while the kids are all sitting down at the tables with paper and artist tools in awe of this. Gigi starts by drawing her family on an easel which is basically herself as we HIT THE FLASHBACK to Gigi's house as her sisters arrive to have fun and do stuff. One of the sisters is named Gretel who plays the bass for the Rocking Gazelles; Greta plays drums and Gigi plays guitar of course. So, yes; the Rocking Gazelles have first names and join Reggie Rabbit AKA Grampy Rabbit as the only adults who have known first names. Gigi is also implying that her previous family is basically dead as she puts her picture on the wall. Gigi then gives the kids a chance to reveal their familes. Suzy Sheep breaks the ice with her and her mummy, since the storyline is that Mummy Sheep is a single parent with a child who pushes Suzy Sheep on a swing as there is a lot of giggling during the drawings for no reason at all. There is a flashback to this scene as well, and it's shorter than Gigi's picture. Along with the fact that Mummy Sheep is completely blown up. No mention of Charlotte Sheep at all here. Suzy puts her picture on the wall. Next up is Mandy Mouse drawing her family as we get the debut of Daddy Mouse as in the flashback playing spotty ball with Mandy Mouse as shown on the MyChannel 5 website (the episode aired literally a day after I was writing this) in a still photo of this very episode as they are in a park according to Mandy. We return to reality (no, not really) as Gigi claims everyone loves playing in the park, stealing the narrator's gimmick! Next up is Pedro F'N Pony, who has more of a clue than the average Sony Pony. Pedro draws his family and I'm shocked he didn't call it a Super Family here. Pedro really really lays the glasses part on thick here and mentions Mummy Pony's contact lenes, and Pedro dots Mummy Pony's eyes for good measure on the artwork. The Pony family was in Doctor Pony's office looking at a chart in the flashback. Gigi is somewhat amused by this as next up is the return of Peggi and Pandora Panda after Miss Rabbit's Relaxation Class and a cameo in Perfect Day. Yes; the Panda Twins made their one and only appearance this season!

Anyhow, their flashback is to annoy Officer Panda into playing the siren and getting their way by saying "please". At least they didn't cry like George did. Mummy Panda is a firefighter, which I don't think I have ever seen her do on the show. And yes, Mummy Panda did in fact ride with the rest of the family in the police car in the flashback and yes, even Mummy Panda likes to do the siren. Oh, and they are riding into traffic of course. Next up is Danny Dog doing his drawing of Mummy and Captain Dog, making sure to remind everyone that Captain Dog is retired and must adhere to the stipulations of never sailing away on the seas ever again. Danny being a dick son on Captain Dog never fails to make me laugh. Apparently, Danny's flashback involves Captain Dog dogfighting with a monster at sea. Keep in mind, I'm reviewing the audio only version of this episode since it's the only thing available at the moment. I don't think YTV Treehouse has officially aired this episode yet. Gigi is instantly amused by this adventure as next up is Penny Polar Bear and history is made in this series as we discover that Doctor Polar Bear and Mummy Polar Bear are in fact two mommies, the first same sex couple on Peppa Pig after a long couple of years of petitions wanting this to happen, so the show listened to the fans for a change. This actually makes the unofficial debut of the couple of Undersea Party make sense now, although I wouldn't have known this until Penny said it here. (2023 Gregory Weagle Says: In Clubhouse Adventure; Penny mentions them as two mommies in a throwaway line about growling and making scary noises. I missed that little nuance the first few times I watched that episode, until I watched the episode again more closely after Families, just to see if there was any interactions since Penny Polar Bear and the two mommies were in the episode! How anyone missed that told me one thing: the bigots didn't care about them being two mothers, they basically claimed that two mommies wasn't a family. Also, the rest didn't care about them being two mommies until they were said in the same sentence as a family, when it should have been obvious that they were a family, even if they weren't a same sex couple! Dammit!)

I would have thought that they were sisters like Miss Rabbit/Mummy Rabbit. Considering the popularity of the show now, having a same sex couple actually made sense and it was the perfect time for it. I just wish Penny Polar Bear's debut was much better than it was in Undersea Party. The flashback is the family eating pasta (which is a nice continuity nod from Health Check when Doctor Polar Bear mentions her love for pasta), which is no different than Peppa's family (a nuclear family) eating pasta since both families love pasta. In hindsight after all the bumps Peppa took, Pedro breaking his leg twice and this great moment; this makes Health Check and the cowardice of not allowing Peppa to get vaccinated outright look even WORSE. Keep in mind, one of the characters in Health Check is Doctor Polar Bear. Gigi is fine with this as Freddy Fox is next and he talks a lot about his father and the van, even remembering to say that everything is in packs of five. I'm going to guess that Freddy Fox is the single father family dymanic; but I swear Freddy Fox had a mother. Rebecca is next as her flashback is with her family of rabbits including Miss Rabbit and Mummy Rabbit being together. Yes, Rosie and Robbie made their contracted appearance in this flashback. Then the mobile phone rings (as stated in the actual episode) and Miss Rabbit answers it to reveal that Grampy "Reggie" Rabbit is stuck on top of a mountain, AGAIN! Did I mention, Miss Rabbit actually appears at the house in her helicopter and leaves the scene in said helicopter. Rebecca actually confirmed that Miss Rabbit is the kids' auntie/aunt during this flashback. Damn, they are STILL doing this gimmick of Miss Rabbit doing all these jobs?! Gigi asks what they would do without Miss Rabbit? Answer: We have more jobs in this world for other characters. Last up is Peppa Pig (with George Pig beside her at the artist table) and her family is basically a greatest hits version of her life, much like this episode: George's dinesaur (sic) is not scary even though George thinks it's scary. Then we get George bawling his eyes out for no reason other than to make Peppa Pig look like a troll as usual. No mention of puddle jumping at all here, which is ultra weird considering the show's major past time.

Peppa puts her picture on the wall as it is almost home time and all the mommies and daddies come in to admire the art their kids just did. George is clearly with Peppa because he giggles when Peppa talks about the difficulty of having a bother I should note. Mummy and Daddy Pig are amused by this, so the entire historic moment is now an afterthought as usual. Peppa loves families, everyone loves families as everyone laughs to end the episode at 4:56. This was basically a very entertainment flashback of the great Peppa Pig hits of the show and some character development for Mandy Mouse and Penny Polar Bear. **** (80%). Sadly, I expect we will not see Penny's family together on camera ever again, although we might see them separately. Unless that rumor of "Haircut" episode is in fact true, but I'm not holding my breath over that one. I just hope they don't get jettisoned nearly as badly as the Panda Twins have been. (2023 Gregory Weagle Says: If the two mommies get jettisoned like this then this would be much worse than the two daddies Lena and Violet Sabrewing had in Ducktales 2017, because at least with Ducktales 2017, the two daddies likely wouldn't had existed had Disney given the team a season four like everyone else had wanted. It would be also worse because Peppa Pig is still ongoing with no end in sight and still going to get new seasons; plus Penny Polar Bear is getting a huge push like Mandy Mouse has gotten when the kids are in groups when the storyline calls for it. So, yeah; they need to incorporate the two mommies into this show as much as they can if they want to continue being a hot show. The bigots can go pound sand, they already bash this show for it's pro-vaccine attitude in Health Check and the book "Peppa Pig Gets Vaccinated". Even worse for Health Check, Elmo got the jab on live television and the show he's on is for the most part, a similar target audience as Peppa Pig since Sesame Street can be for much older kids compared to the more kindergarten audience Peppa Pig delivers.)

The Big Hill: We continue on with #372 on the animation paper and the episode opens with the Pig family walking east in the country side. The adults are having a good time as the kids are; and then the family stops in front of a three way arrow sign with nothing to indicate where to go other than the arrow. Someone in government is trolling these pigs, which isn't a good look for them despite Peppa's trolling side being totally obvious. Peppa wants to go further east, which leads to the top of a giant hill. Peppa is happy, Mummy and Daddy Pig are not and George is like I don't know...Oh wait, he's smiling. Daddy Pig thinks something amazing is at the top of the hill, Mummy Pig is not really thrilled about this. So, we climb up the hill as Daddy and Mummy Pig are completely blown up within seconds. I would have been blown up within one second, so there you go. The make it to the "top" which is not the top as it's a rest area summit and thus nothing amazing. Peppa notices the hill continues on up and Daddy Pig appears to have second thoughts while Mummy Pig is invoking eye contact violence because she knows this is BS. Daddy Pig claims there might be a cafe and Mummy Pig is so giddy that she's happy to go up now. So, they continue climbing and now everyone is blown up. Now, you would think that there wouldn't be a cafe at the "top" of this hill. Wrong! They make it to the top, and there is Miss Rabbit hosting a cafe booth complete with fancy picnic tables. Daddy Pig turned out to be right for a change. Two coffees and two juices are ordered, I don't know why you need a hot drink on a hot hill, but okay. The kids drink juice as Daddy Pig is relieved that this is over and Miss Rabbit proclaims that this is not over and this is not the top of the hill. Of course! The adults put the glasses in the booth as we see the hill with spurce trees and the climb must continue. So, they are so blown up that their acting is getting better, especially Mummy Pig's long winded response to Peppa's question, which is "I don't know." More walking up the hill and talking, as they head into the fog three minutes into this episode. This doesn't lead to anything special because they are at the top of the mountain and we can see Windy Castle (which the flag is flying, indicating that it is windy outside today) and the little house on the hill, or the white house on the hill. The video I am using uses the comical greyscale where you cannot see most details.

Peppa sees the playground. Cameos: Mr. Rabbit, Danny Dog, Zoe Zebra, Pedro F'N Pony, one adult, and three other kids I cannot make out. Then we see the supermarket (Couldn't make out the cameos inside), then Suzy on a swing at her house on the hill. Peppa and Daddy both agree that this is amazing. They all love and then start to walk down the hill east instead of going west because why not?! Ironically, there is no fog on the eastern side of the hill, so Peppa and George roll down the hill for fun. Ooookkkkaaayyyy. Peppa then asks Daddy Pig to join in and Daddy Pig admits that this is fun. Daddy Pig isn't going to do it because he might not stop...and then he trips on a conveniently place toadstool. I am not making this up! He tripped on a toadstool and somehow the toadstool suffered no damage whatsoever. This is on par with the Swimming episode where Daddy Pig dived into a pool with zero splash whatsoever. Lance Storm would see this and say: Damn, this is so fake. The narrator repeats everything I said except for calling it a mushroom, which makes this even funnier. The rest of the family follows the rolling Daddy by rolling down the hill themselves. I laughed and laughed and laughed some more. Daddy Pig lands on his ass at the bottom of the hill and Peppa remembers to headbutt her nose into Daddy's big tummy. That's the closest thing to Peppa body shaming Daddy Pig as you are going to get post Series 5. Peppa channels Molly and wants to do it again, but Daddy Pig nicely blows off the suggestion for the day. The family does the backsplash laugh as we get shots of the big hill while the narrator says it all to end the episode at 4:30. So, Peppa didn't cry for the second time at all and George didn't do a bawling spot either. I'm guessing the Haircut episode rumor wasn't to be either. Anyhow, an okay episode with a hilarious finish as only Daddy Pig could do when the writers want to amuse themselves and us. *** 1/4 (65%).

Hippies: Next up is episode #373 on the animation paper as the episode opens on the white house on the hill as the title card has the dot of the second "i" shaped like a daisy. Mummy Pig drives up and parks on the steepest side of the hill...AGAIN! Peppa and George comes out of the car as Grandpa Pig hugs them and greets them. Out comes Granny Pig dressed up like a hippie complete with plastic gold medallion shaped like a daisy, so I'm guessing the peace symbol is trademarked now. Granny is also wearing a pearl necklace and flowers on her hat. Of course, Grandpa Pig is blowing off this "histroic reinactment" as an excuse to have friends and drink tea, calling it a game. Granny Pig blows it off because it's serious 1960's stuff. I howled with laughter because Hippies was all about fun, games and excitement. Basically, it's the same angle as Dinosaur Party, only with 1960's booking. I wait with baited breath to see how BS&P handles it, because there's no way they are allowing the "sexual freedom" angle the 1960's were supposed to be. Granny Pig calling the 1960's an ancient time is hilarious because it's only about 60 years ago, and only roughly 10-20 years before I was born. It's not that ancient, come on Granny Pig! So, it's a time Grandpa Pig enjoyed colorful clothes and Grandpa Pig admits that he does enjoy it. No one is going to wear shoes in this one by the way, which is such a silly stereotype. Peppa and George are given their outfits to wear as George looks like a Village People's cowboy, Peppa is wearing a yellow dress with flowers and one giant red heart, along with a flower in her ear. Grandpa Pig attempts to leave, but Granny stops her and accuses him of being such a square, which I'm certain will be a form of fat shaming today, when in the 1960's it was a nice way of saying that Grandpa Pig is a boring fuddy duddy, and also grumpy. Grandpa Pig claims that he's not grumpy, while acting grumpy. Like father, like son, eh?! Grandpa Pig then gives up and offers to wear the flowery shirt Granny Pig found somewhere in the house, along with the bellbottom trousers. Everyone heads to the garden as Gigi Gazelle, Granny Elephant and Reggie Rabbit arrive in a camper van that the Scooby-Doo gang would be jealous of. Complete with three pipes on top of the roof. Why three of them?! Answer: To be Grampy Rabbit. Reggie comes out with the band and 2020 vehicle sound effects to make sure it's not 1960s-equse. In a shocking moment, Reggie plays guitar instead of Gigi as Gigi Gazelle is playing a recorder and Granny Elephant is on tambornie, and I believe Granny Elephant speaks for the very first time in this series! In fact, I believe this is Granny Elephant's debut on this show. Peppa is confused as Reggie calls the van the Bean Machine. Wait, what?! Grandpa Pig tells Peppa that it's a van and Peppa gets it and loves it.

Grandpa Pig wonders what to do and Granny Pig wants to do 1960's Hippie stuff. Grandpa Pig is drawing a blank, and Gigi accuses him of not being there complete with a wink. Gigi is self-aware that Grandpa Pig can only think of the sexual freedom of that era and BS&P is NEVER going to allow him to do it, so he has to draw a blank. So, Reggie breaks the ice with singing songs and playing music because of course! It's the safest thing to do in the 1960's. Granny Elephant goes to the middle as a giant rainbow arrives and she sings the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM and now I see why they did this episode: To introduce another new character they didn't show in Chairty Shop. To sell the flower power thingie, Peppa and George get flowers on their ears and hats; because that's another thing hippies love. I'm sorry; but without the sexual freedom angle, this episode falls a bit flat; but it's a pre-school show! What can you do?! Introducing a same sex couple is perfectly fine since they are human beings and it's not about sex (free nor otherwise). Basically, the whole purpose of hippies is to save the planet and humanking from themselves, basically. I don't blame them for this, BS&P isn't going to allow sexual freedom, so saving the enivronment is one BS&P is going to allow to it's fullest. Peppa then recalls a moment about nature and Gigi recalls a flashback of Suzy Sheep, Danny Dog, Pedro F'N Pony, Rebecca Rabbit, Zoe Zebra along with Peppa and Gigi planting a tree in front of the school house on the hill. We return to reality (no, not really) as all the adult hippies except for Grandpa Pig literally hug conveniently placed trees for fun. HAHA! Hey, at least these hippies really love to be the treehuggers to the fullest extent here. Peppa, George and Grandpa Pig hug the trees because this historic reinactment cannot get any sillier. Well, no it won't because BS&P won't allow alcohol and drugs on this show, unless it's the "we know it's alcohol, but we aren't telling anyone" spot. Then it rains and pours, Grandpa Pig panics; but it's a tiny shower; so Grandpa Pig should chin up because it's a part of nature. Then we get a bunch of muddy puddles and you all know where this is going now. Plus, this is the first time they break the first rule of puddle jumping to boot(s)! I guess this is the "sexual freedom" part BS&P will allow. Now, I'm starting to understand why people hate jumping up and down in muddy puddles: It reminded them of what happened in Woodstock in the 1960's and they used slippery slope logical fallacy arguments to hate it. The adults are confused, Peppa and George start jumping into muddy puddles as the adults all follow talking in 1960's lingo that would be popular in late 1980's/1990's kid shows. That's horrifying. We zoom out as the narrator says it all and everyone does the backsplash laugh under the rainbow to end the episode at 4:45. They took a really problematic era and did the best they could within the bounds of BS&P and it turned to be a really fun episode with Granny Elephant of all characters being the MVP. *** 3/4 (75%). The ED was basically a male singer singing the song Granny Elephant sang and it wasn't as good as when Granny Elephant sang it.

Monkey Trees: Next up we continue on with episode #374 on the animation paper, with the episode opening at the adventure park with Miss Rabbit at the entrance as the Pig family arrives. Miss Rabbit explains the whole monkey trees concept which is simply you climb the trees like monkeys. Could be worse, I guess. Damn, we are eight series in and Daddy Pig is still afraid of heights. This is height shaming, methinks. Miss Rabbit assures Daddy Pig that nothing is wrong and they'll be using harnasses. There is something wrong, it's not the safety; it's the fact that Miss Rabbit is still doing multiple gimmicks. Geez, the American Miss Rabbit are so ahead of the curve when it comes to dealing with crunch that it isn't funny. Miss Rabbit puts on the harness and demonstrates it by falling off the log, Don Karnage suddenly had a boner. Everyone gets to wear a harness and keep their balance on a log, as Daddy Pig struggles and then cheers like he won the lottery, before Miss Rabbit points out the obvious. Daddy Pig is still dumb. Miss Rabbit shows the high tree tops as everyone climbs the wooden spiral staircase as Daddy Pig seems to have more issues with balance than he ever did with heights. Jump cut to Danny Dog in the trees walking on a really unstable bridge with Captain Dog as it's called the wobbly bridge according to the narrator. The two dogs cross sort of selling it. Jump cut to the Pig family waiting for the Dog family to cross fully as Peppa is enjoying herself as usual. Peppa and Danny exchange notes for a while and of course they mention how high it is and Daddy Pig is still afraid of heights. Sigh. Mummy Pig starts to cross the wobbly bridge and calls it wobbly. You didn't need to tell us Miss Rabbit, the narrator already told us and we already know. All you are doing is making Daddy Pig look even more paranoid now. Mummy Pig, Peppa Pig and George Pig cross the bridge without further incident, but Daddy Pig is still paranoid. Thank a lot for nothing, Miss Rabbit! Daddy Pig stalls like a cowardly professional wrestler and here comes Suzy Sheep, Mummy Sheep, Daddy Cat and Candy Cat to call his ass out on it. I discover that the tree is basically a spiral staircase as Emily Elephant, Doctor Elephant, Mr. Fox and Freddy Fox are complaining a floor below the bridge as well. I think Zoe Zebra and Mrs. Zerba are behind them as Daddy Pig apologizes for his own paranoia. Daddy Pig proceeds to cross the bridge by literally doing Fred Flintstone's twinkle toe bowling spot with some of the wrongest sounds ever made. He makes it without further incident, so it's all fine. Daddy Pig celebrates like he won his first wrestling match. Everyone does the slow clapping just to troll on Daddy Pig because next up is the swinging hoops, which is basically hoops you swing on like they are the monkey bars. Oh, snap! Daddy Pig is done for now. Even Mummy Pig is not thrilled of this setup either.

So, Mummy Pig decides to bite the bullet and swings perfectly like a monkey and Peppa and George follow her fast and easy; outclassing their Mummy by a mile. Sadly, Mummy Pig stops in midflight, and their grip is compromised and they fall off, with the harnesses making the save. They are screwed...and then Miss Rabbit says something about having someone make the save and guess who makes the save? Come on, guess; it's too shocking! SURPRISE~! IT'S OKAY, BOOMER~! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...Well, punching me in the face was dumb, because it's Daddy Pig, the dumbest boomer of all time. Yes, he pushes the family across and they all make it. AWESOME! All the complainers give Daddy Pig legit clapping, because this was legit heroic on Daddy Pig's part. Sadly, I betcha he'll still be afraid of heights though. Finally, the narrator reveals the final descent which is a giant zip wire which Danny Dog and Captain Dog slide down and are helped onto the ground by Miss Rabbit. Mr. Rabbit is attaching the zip lines to the harnesses of the Pig family as he asks if they want head or feet first and Mummy wants the most control, so it's feet first. Mummy is pushed feet first and Mummy Pig is having the time of her life. Peppa and George choose head first, because of course they love chaos. Peppa and George slide down the zip line and Miss Rabbit helps them to the ground without incident. So, that leaves Daddy Pig left and he states that it's not head first. So, Mr. Rabbit throws him head first anyway because Mr. Rabbit does not understand negative statements. What a prick?! Poor Daddy Pig, he slides down head first screaming and panicking because he's afraid of...you guessed it! Thankfully, as he goes over the river of something, he stops struggling and is actually having fun now. Yeah, sure; like I'm buying that he has gotten over this, especially after the previous dozen or so moments that we were suppose to buy that he got over his fear of heights. Can we ice this concept for series eight onward?! It's way overplayed at this point and just makes the writers look cruel. Miss Rabbit asks if Daddy Pig had fun and sounds like an insult rather than a question. Daddy Pig claims that he's fine, but we all know he's wishing he were dead after this ride. Peppa Pig proclaims that this is the best thing ever, which is everything because she's the star and everyone else is a geek. All the parents and kids laugh as the narrator says it all to end the episode at 4:30 approx. This was a really enjoyable episode, but the fear of heights is getting older than the fat shaming. Can we finally Gary Stu Daddy Pig now?! No...Dang-it! *** 3/4 (75%).

The Water Park: Next up is episode #375 on the animation paper and we open at the Water Park with the Pig family entering from the western side. Miss Rabbit as we meet and greet with Mr. Rabbit in charge of being the life and safety guard. Cameos: Danny Dog, Captain Dog, Mummy Sheep and Freddy Fox in their swimming costumes. Jump cut to the changing rooms as Mummy Wolf and I believe Wendy Wolf come out of the changing rooms. The Pig family goes into the rooms and change in their swimming costumes. They do the slow change to kill time in a five minute episode, something Peppa Pig Tales would have trimmed to all four coming out at the same time. There is a lot of giggling as we walk towards the water park as we get the return of Peggi and Pandora in the background with Mummy Panda! I think Daddy Cat and Rebecca Rabbit are somewhere in this scene, but I'm using the usual filters that make it impossible to tell who is who. Hasbro is officially on my poop list now. Jump cut to Mummy Pony relaxing in a chair reading Ezza magazine. Sigh. In the wading pool is the epitome of cluelessness, Pedro F'N Pony kicking water with his feet in the wading pool (called the Bubble Bay in the UK). We meet and greet for a while as the kids jump into the bubble bay and bubbles tickle them for a while. It is so difficult to care about this series when Peppa Pig Tales had a water park episode that was so much funnier than this one. Mummy and Daddy Pig join in the fun and Daddy Pig relaxes, because of course he does. They giggle for a while and then head to the Tipping Bucket featuring Mandy "I'm in every segment now!" Mouse and Mummy "I can be scary, honest!" Mouse. Mandy explains the rules of engagement and Peppa decides to stand under the bucket like a dork, and the bucket fills up with water and splooshes Peppa with it. HAHA! Peppa screams because it was more water than Richard Rabbit watering Peppa's head in Swimming. Mummy Pig, Daddy Pig and George enter and Mummy Pig stands under the bucket like a fool and Peppa basically tells the truth, Mummy Pig gets splooshed and she screams. Damn, the women in this show are having bad luck this week with Mummy Pig and Miss Rabbit having jobberitis of the petro tank in Peppa Pig Tales. Also, crisis averted; Auntie and Uncle Pig are perfectly safe and fine, there is no breakup in Peppa Pig Tales; although George is going to get a scolding from BS&P after Baby Bumps, I am sure.

Mummy Pig is so dumb that she panicked when getting wet...in a water park; and then catched herself and they all laugh. That was at least funny. Mummy Mouse should try this, maybe it will make her scary (Mandy: Not a chance of that to happen, Mr. Weagle.). So, we see the water slides for the small children, I assume Richard Rabbit is here as well; as well as the spiraling big water slide which is tended to by Mr. Rabbit as Gerald Giraffe slides down cutting a promo. Oh great, for the second episode in a row, Daddy Pig is still afraid of heights. Again, see the end to Monkey Trees and why I am so tired of this angle and to do it back to back is really annoying me now. Peppa and George slide down the slide after Daddy Pig is all ready, steady, go! Daddy Pig wants a go, but Miss Rabbit stops him because the rule on waterslides is no glasses allowed. So, now we are eye shaming, which is much more dangerous than fat shaming and all this does is amp up his fear of heights even more. This episode was doing fine until that moment, now I feel violated. See, Daddy Pig wanted to do on the small slide, even though he wouldn't fit in the small slide anyway because he's too big; so he unintentionally goes up the spiral staircase to the big slide. Now, I know that in Swimming, Daddy Pig went up the big diving board; but he never had as much difficulty there as he does now. They're doing it to make Daddy Pig look like a foolish idiot for a cheap laugh at the expense of the visually impaired. I've never been as angry about a spot payoff as this one. Mummy Pig is confused and the kids don't care, just to make this even worse. Daddy Pig makes it to the top and Mr. Rabbit just has to tell him about his fear of heights. What an asshole Mr. Rabbit and the writers are here?! The narrator also rubs it in; but that was more unintentional than anything else as Daddy Pig slides down the slide and makes a big splash into the pool; thankfully, he didn't drain the pool, that would have sucked. Thank goodness that was over, that sucked so hard. Miss Rabbit gives Daddy Pig his glasses back as he enjoyed it because he couldn't see as everyone laughs to end the episode at 4:30. I hope Daddy Pig enjoyed it because I didn't. A fine episode that fell off a cliff, just to make Daddy Pig look like a fool for the most cruel of reasons. * 1/2 (30%).

Playgroup Garden: We continue this show with episode #376 on the animation paper and the episode opens at the school house on the hill with Gigi outside as the kids run out west. Kids: Peppa Pig, Danny Dog, Mandy Mouse, Suzy Sheep, Gerald Giraffe, Rebecca Rabbit, Freddy Fox, Pedro F'N Pony, and Penny Polar Bear in her first appearance since Families. Damn, that's not a good sign for the two mommies in general. So, the kids and Gigi walk down to the Playgroup Garden and I betcha this was an inspiration done by Grandpa Pig, because of course. Peppa, Danny and Penny are raising sunflowers; and Gigi wonders who has the tallest and the answer is neither three because they are copy and paste art basically. Cheap, but effective I'll say, especially when the storyline is supposed to be that the sunflowers heights are identical. Danny Dog is so hellbent on stopping this plucky guy who cannot win that he is begging for Gigi to say that his sunflower is the tallest. At least they are indentical in height and not that screwjob finish at the Slide Race in Peppa Pig Tales where Danny Dog clearly won and Miss Rabbit screwed him out of the win. Everyone is disappointed by the announcement, more so Penny Polar Bear. Please, she already won the hearts of people watching this show. Danny doesn't have that anymore. Gigi checks on Rebecca Rabbit who is growing carrots because she loves to blush when she says that she loves carrots. A reminder: She's part human and part rabbit, so the annoying feed the animals spot doesn't apply here. Ditto Mandy as she trolls Gigi a bit loving cheese while growing tomatoes. Are we in Grandpa Pig's graden and Grandpa Pig doesn't mind them trespassing?! The fact that Gigi plays along without any sarcasm tells me that Gigi was legit confused at Mandy not knowing the difference between loving cheese and growing it. Daddy Pig does not have a monopoly when it comes to being dumb. Mandy finally shows off her tomatoes to use with cheese, so she might be making a pizza in future. The rest don't get to introduce their plants because the video was trimmed for some reason, probably nothing of note happened until we jump cut to Suzy Sheep complaining about her plants not growing. So, Gigi suggests watering the plants. Pedro was growing lettuce, I think Suzy was growing a turnip or parsnip and the rest I still don't have a clue in the full color still shot. Everyone waters plants in sequence, starting with Peppa because she is the star.

After all this, Gigi proclaims that they worked hard, so it's time to play hard in the woods. All two trees of it, as I discover. That was funny. Next up, seek and go hide and despite the video cutting about ten seconds of footage; I knew this was happening because the kids have to hide behind two trees where Gigi plays the seeker, closing her eyes and counting to ten as the narrator has to point out how absurd this game is with only TWO trees to hide. So, in order to kill time, Gigi has to pretend that she cannot find the students at all and it's so absurd and contrived that I was laughing my ass off. There's no way to not find them in this situation, so Gigi has to pretend that the students have vanished off the face of the earth in order to make this work. The kids literally give themselves up and give Gigi a shock just to end this funny nonsense. By the way, there is a storybook version of this very episode and in that one, Danny Dog asks that if you eat soil will you grow?! I laughed and laughed and laughed some more. Gigi's answer is obviously no. That was almost as funny as Suzy Sheep yelling "Chop the tree down, baaaaa!". So, playtime is over and it's back to watering the plants as I discover that Suzy is in fact growing a pumpkin that is tinier than a legit Chinese lantern plant. Suzy complains some more and Gigi suggests talking sweet nothings in their ears to help them grow. This is such quackery that it could only work in Peppa Pig and of course, all the kids are cutting promos on the plants. Suzy is such an abuser of plants as she demands it to grow. I'm not surprised, Suzy was the one who wanted to see trees get chopped down, especially when there are people in them. Gigi decides that maybe a song will make the plants grow, because of course! Danny Dog wants the Bing-Bong song. Why not?! I haven't heard that song since the infamous visit to the zoo in Series 5 and thankfully, Gigi accepts without question and here comes the out of nowhere guitar. Sadly, no "oooooooo" nor karoke, which made the song stand out and besides Ed Brayton is dead and thus cannot complain about it. Gigi plays the guitar, the kids giggle, the narrator says it all to end the episode at 4:30 approx. Gigi does say "ooooo" and repeats the song in the credits, still no karoke though. Another fun episode and really good as well. The hide and seek part was hilariously awkward. *** 3/4 (75%).

Bowling: We move forward with episode #377 on the animation paper and open the episode at the bowling ally on the hill AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) which looks a lot more colorful than most bowling allies in real life. Granddad Dog, Danny Dog, Peppa, George and Grandpa Pig walk up the hill and enter the bowling ally. Peppa asks Grandpa Pig about bowling and Grandpa Pig doesn't know because he never bowled in his life, which is a rare bit of honesty in the Pig family that puts Grandpa Pig a step ahead of Daddy Pig in the smarts department. By the way, it was Granddad Dog's idea and Granddad Dog proclaims that bowling is fun. I can speak from experience, bowling is fun even if I totally suck at it. Granddad Dog is still calling Grandpa Pig an old man even in Series 8, so the friendly feud continues as usual with no end in sight. Grandpa Pig's witty retort on this: Granddad Dog is older than self. So what?! Old is old and both of you are old. The narrator claims that they are still the best of friends as they head to the bowling shoe check out lane to rent out shoes that hopefully won't be as ugly as Jim Ross claims that they are. Of course, Miss Rabbit is tending to the shoes and of course Grandpa Pig is dumb because he doesn't know that their regular shoes must be taken off and replaced with bowling, which everyone puts on. I find this silly because this is the same people who puddle jump and the number one is you must wear your boot. This is basically the same rule here, only you must wear your bowling shoes. Grandpa complains about the fuss for a little game. Again, what is so different about this game from muddy puddle jumping?! We head to the bowling lanes as Mummy Cat, Mummy Wolf, Wendy Wolf, and Daddy Pony are cameoing here as the players get the first lane on the left and it's regular ten pin bowling, unlike the candlepin bowling I play here in Nova Scotia. I have seen a five pin regular bowling lane in Prince Edward Island once; I don't think it's still around though. Danny Dog shows off his form and it's exactly like mine and he only drops two pins down. I'm sure someone will soon say: Are you sure the writers are not reading your rants?! My answer is: Of course they are not reading them. I'm not on social media, this is the dark web! Since this is only a demostration to make Grandpa Pig look like a fool which I don't mind compared to the Water Park episode; it's only one ball allowed; since you get three tries to knock all the pins down.

The pins are reset and Grandpa Pig thinks this is fun as we start properly for realies this time! It's Granddad Dog's turn to start and his form is like me being lucky and throwing a strike on the first frame, only his is all skill. The pins are reset as Granddad Dog explains what a strike is. Grandpa Pig picks up the ball , throws it lightly down the lane and it heads into the gutter like I do about half of the time playing this game. Why yes, they use yellow smiley faces for the strikes and blue frowny faces (0.9 Rock Lobster Yeti) for the gutter balls, why do you ask?! EMOTIONAL DAMAGE INDEED~! Grandpa Pig don't care anyway, because it's only a game and Peppa is wondering how ineffective Grandpa Pig has been at anything over the years. Well, he did outrun a mail truck and Granny Pig's car in Stamps, so that counts as an achievement, I guess. Granddad Dog twists the knife further by basically saying that not everyone is good at games. Typical Granddad Dog, he's Grandpa Pig's best friend and keeps burying him! Peppa Pig is next and she cannot lift the ball because it's so big. It's as big as her torso, says I! Danny suggest picking another and Peppa picks the same size ball, but this one is okay for her to handle. Her trolling is so infectous, I laughed. I'm wrong, the second ball is much lighter than the first. Peppa throws the ball like me and gets a strike on her first try. OH, COME ON NOW~! Let's just make Danny Dog look like a geek even more now. Granddad Dog just twist the knife even further on everyone except Peppa; because this is her first time bowling. And people are worried about some dead queen sending the wrong message about bending the knee to Queen Elizabeth?! Everyone bends the knee to Peppa, because she's the star of this show and everyone is a geek! Even the damn queen has to follow Peppa's rules. Just to make sure Peppa never looks like a dork, George gets a bowling slide rack from Granddad Dog to bowl the ball and he gets a strike! They don't use rails here, so even George could have still gutter ball the ball with that. It's a good thing Danny Dog's first throw was for demonstration purposes to the audience because he's getting buried here. Grandpa Pig is protesting this and Granddad Dog states that the rack is for little children. I get it; but George didn't even need it for that strike. Peppa rubs it in of course, she's Peppa Pig is a troll. Geez, the main show needs to step it's game up since Peppa Pig Tales is running rings around it right now.

Next up is Danny Dog and Danny Dog bowls the ball down the lane, hits all the pins and gets a strike. Now everyone has a strike according to Granddad Dog, except Grandpa Pig of course because he's ineffective. Just twist the knife further, I'm such a dick! Peppa offers to Grandpa Pig another go and Grandpa Pig takes a red ball and bowls it down the lane and it's in the middle as Grandpa Pig is cutting a depressing promo about winning and taking part; and he actually bowls a strike. It took me countless games before I could bowl a strike, or even get a score of 100 per string; so to do it in just two rolls is amazing. Grandpa Pig is officially better than me now! I need to get the Wii out and practice Wii Sports Bowling again. All this happened as Grandpa Pig's back was turned. Too funny. I love that he's calling them Skittles as if he has a candy craving or something. Yes, I realize that skittles are British for bowling pins and Skittles the candy is in America;' but I need some filler because this episode is almost over anyway. Of course, Grandpa Pig tries to make this seem like the Wrestlemania main event or something and no one gives a crap. HAHA! Granddad Dog nicely calls him out on his hypocrisy and Grandpa Pig don't care anyway. HAHA! Dancing and promo cutting ensue as this is the best game in the world. Hey, the math checks out here as the narrator says it all to end the episode at 4:30. You know what this episode is getting, best episode of Series 8 thus far. ***** (100%). It's as good as Baby Bumps from Peppa Pig Tales, and no penis references to boot! What more do you want?!

THE REVIEW LINE

Well, the sobbing Peppa did in fact happen, but it was in a Peppa Pig Tales episode and only because the animators used the wrong model in Baby Bumps. Sigh. Families was exactly what it was supposed to be and to be honest, I didn't care much about the two mommies because the return of the Panda Twins was a much bigger surprise than it, mostly due to Penny Polar Bear outing her family in Clubhouse Adventure earlier on. Sigh. Bowling is the best episode of Series 8 thus far and I doubt anything will top it. If you love bowling, you'll love this one and I do love bowling. Peppa getting a strike on the first try and Grandpa Pig doing on the second is what makes cartoons great: We suck at probabilities, and it still works out in the end, so doing the same thing over and over again might be insanity, but sometimes you do get a different result. It's great that the Families was the opener and Bowling was the main event because the middle had one extremely bad episode in Water Park, which started off decent and then fell off the cliff once the writers mocked Daddy Pig's eyesight to prevent Daddy Pig's fear of height which they already did back to back in Monkey Trees. Just horrible and made worse by the fact that the other water theme park episode in Peppa Pig Tales was so much better, even if Danny Dog got screwed, AGAIN! Hippies, Playgroup Garden and Monkey Trees almost got this rant five thumbs up, which is better than average though, so overall; outside of a really bad episode, this was a good set of shorts. Next up is the World Cruise arc, but I'll be doing it when I get full episodes and it appears the videos are trimming segments to prevent copyright issues and once that happens, I'm better off not reviewing them. So, that's it for the mainline Peppa Pig segments as I continue with Peppa Pig Tales, which Hasbro doesn't care about at all. Which is weird because the episodes are much more entertaining, although Baby Bump might have actually crossed the line . So...

Thumbs up for Familes and Bowling, thumbs down for Water Park, thumbs in the middle for the rest, and I'll see you all next time.

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