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Peppa Pig Tales #11 Rant

Reviewed: 09/22/2023

Old School Peppa Pig Is Back! Sort of Part Eleven!

Well, since Peppa Pig the series has been slowing down and there's only four episodes left in the pot, I was going to resume TaleSpin work this year. An easy series that gives me great joy in terms of mockery and enjoyment. There is still lots let to do before I can finally wrap that show up. Sadly, TaleSpin has been delayed until at least 2023, because my second love and enjoyment decided to really run interference on me. How so you ask? Welcome to the Rant Shack: Peppa Pig Tales! And after the very first episode, I cannot resist and I'm going to rant on these "shorts" because Baby Alexander is back and creating a lot more questions than answers. (March 2023 Gregory Weagle Says: Hold it! I have just gotten word that there is no problems with Uncle and Auntie Pig and the family is getting along just fine. You'll see the evidence in Baby Bumps. Only one missing is Cousin Chole now.) Peppa Pig Tales is a series of short 3-3 1/2 minute episodes (Literally up to 75% of an average "Peppasode".) of Peppa Pig doing stuff without the original voices or creators with most of the "filler" cut out. That's basically it. It is awkward listening to this when you are so used to seeing the show, however; it is basically the same in term of premise. So, I'll be doing eight episodes per block like I always do until this series gets sick and tired of this and goes back to the actual Peppa Pig series which has reached eight series up to this point. How do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

Editor's Note: I will no longer be revealing which episodes were done by who, since my video source keeps cutting off the EDs and it's basically the same five to six writers anyway.

Picture Day: Short opens in the bathroom of Peppa's residence with Peppa and George in pj's brushing their teeth. They run into the bedroom which is literally the next room for no reason and then they take off their clothes off-screen; and put their clothes on, just like that. Peppa is wearing her boot, so if you cannot guess the final spot right now, you have no business reading this rant and need to watch the Muddy Puddles episode on Youtube or Dailymotion or on Stack TV here in Canada since the copyright holder told cable companies to go pound sand, or something. Mummy Pig is amused as we jump cut to Mummy Pig, George and Peppa at Playgroup as there is a conveniently placed muddy puddle in front of the entrance and Peppa and George dodge it. Because you see, it's Peppa and George Stays In The Picture. Considering that the Fish Hooks version and the Fanboy & Chum Chum versions were godawful, this one will be the best one by default. Peppa and George enter the school as it's Danny Dog wearing a soccer shirt with the #9, which is what his position as a good babyface is like. Oh come on, now; Danny's been the plucky guy who almost wins but doesn't. Suzy Sheep and Mandy Mouse are here as Gigi is setting up the camera on a tripod and her fiddling of the camera does not help my confidence any. Peppa is amused; but gets shocked from behind by Danny Dog and his out of nowhere soccer ball asking about Peppa's status for picture day. That was annoying. Peppa and Danny exchange notes on the picture day as Danny Dog calls this his football kit, because that is what soccer is called outside the US and Canada. Apparently, you can dress up for picture day as Gigi brings out the box of costumes and other oddities. Peppa is confused, even though she is sort of dressed up in her favorite past time. You know what it is, you know. Next year will be "20 Years Of Muddy Puddles", a show that ran longer than Dora The Explorer and is getting close to Doctor Who levels of long seasons at this point. Gigi wants them to dress up in something that is special to them and them only as she almost gets a soccer ball in the kisser from Danny. This action is enough for Danny to be remorseful and get first dibs on the getting his picture taken. It's clearly a digital camera being used since there is a conveniently placed printer on the desk printing the picture. Danny got multiple pictures taken, including one that showed his bare belly, making the off-screen nudity near the beginning look hypocritical in hindsight.

Peppa dives into the cardboard box unaware of her special talents as Suzy is in her nurse outfit carrying a stuffed owl with her. YAY! I wish that they did a spot when you say cheese, Suzy yells "Chop The Tree Down, BAAAAA!" Multiple pictures are taken, nothing special otherwise. Peppa is still looking in the box, struggling as Mandy Mouse wheels her wheelchair in and I'm shocked that the writers remembered the Recorders episode as Mandy has a recorder. This should have been another full episode on the mainline series, because that seems to be the only way to get Penny Polar Bear on this show, much lest the two mommies. Multiple pictures are taken, including Mandy blushing because she blew the recorder too much. It's not what you think you sick freaks! So, it's George's turn and if you cannot guess what he brings to the camera... you guessed it. Watch Mr. Dinesaur Is Lost if you haven't seen the show, it's literally the second episodes ever released. George poses for the camera, he gets FOUR pictures taken, one of them is blury for no reason. Now, it's Peppa's turn and she buries herself in a costume tomb, literally. HAHA! Peppa complains about not finding anything and Gigi tells her that she only has to have something that makes her happy. Here's the finish: Peppa holds hands with Gigi. They and the other kids walk outside, Peppa finds the muddy puddle, she jump up and down in the muddy puddle, DING! Gigi don't care anyway as Peppa returns all muddy and they take the picture anyway despite tracking mud into the school. This is the same Madam Gazelle who allowed Peppa to draw Daddy Pig sitting on the sofa watching television as a vegetable. It also gave me a Mandela Effect in believing that Peppa would say "diet pills" on the show, even though I have watched every episode of this show and Peppa never said anything like that, even though at the time, it would have been on-brand with her. Multiple pictures of her making her own muddy puddle while jumping up and down during the picture taking was great. Her bellyflop move was blury though. So, we end with Gigi Gazelle setting the camera on a timer as the kids are confused; but Gigi explains the camera functions as their picture is taken and Danny bounces and becomes a blur. Damn, this camera hates moving for some reason. Doesn't matter, the narrator says it all as Gigi hangs the picture in a picture frame on the wall to end the episode at 3:09. Oops, I forgot Recess was the best version of this and it involved a messy finish to boot! Still a good episode, although this should have been a mainline Series 8 episode. *** 1/2 (70%).

Fun House: Short opens with Suzy sliding down a tube slide with Freddy Fox and Emily Elephant as they land on a cyan blue mat on the ground. Only Mrs. Elephant is present, so Mummy Sheep and Mr. Fox do not care about their children at all. Pfft, single parents, nothing but trouble, amirite?! By the way, the announcers call this a funfair, but it's clearly supposed to be a funhouse. Why didn't the narrator just say "funhouse"?! I don't know! The Pig family arrives as Miss Rabbit is the ticket vendor for the funhouse, DUH! At least it isn't a hellhouse, that would sucked and everyone on this show would hate life. Peppa and Suzy exchanges notes for a while and then Peppa and Geroge pretty please want to go into the funhouse and the adults are fine with this, I am too. Mummy Pig goes over to Miss Rabbit and we get a lovely spot where apparently, this funhouse costs more tokens than Mummy Pig expected, a leftover from the arcade episode a couple of rants ago. Never grows old as Peppa and George put the tickets through the automated barrier and go through the barrier which is hilarious since if Peppa ducked, she could have gone through without a ticket and George probably could have not hit the thing at all. So, we are in the funhouse and the first obstacle: the rickity-rackity bridge, so says Miss Rabbit. It's a bridge over a ball pit. Peppa and George get on the bridge and Peppa is hopping across the bridge, which is the narrator's way of saying that she's moving slowly. Of course! George just runs across the bridge, crossing it at least a dozen times and having the time of his life. HAHA! It's always funny when the star gets to look like a geek once in awhile. Peppa proclaims that George's way is much better and then they do Peppa's way and fully cross the bridge. That made no sense, but it was funny so it was worth it. Miss Rabbit is on the other side of the room written in via teleport. Considering that Suzy thinks every sciency thing is magic, I shouldn't be surprised by this anymore. Next up is the hall of mirrors from the Mirrors episode, one of the best episodes in the series as it introduced Miss Rabbit and Mummy Rabbit in the same room together. One mirror makes Peppa look silly, George looks like he has a big head, but a small ego to match. George then finds the mirror that makes him look more round than most pigs actually.

I do admit, Peppa Pig trolling on Miss Rabbit at the entrance to the next room was comedy diamond to me. It helps when Miss Rabbit is mimicking Peppa's move set. Also funny: Miss Rabbit declares herself and Peppa and George both fall on their asses in shock and then they giggle. They go into the next room which is basically a fancy wind tunnel with mode 7 effects. George almost lands on his ass again as the wind is quite powerful. After some struggling, George and Peppa hold hands as we make it to the tube slide as we jump cut to Daddy Pig and Mummy Pig written in via teleport wondering why this is taking so long. Geez, if Daddy Pig is teleporting, then his creditability of being a science expert is in negative creditability status now. Peppa and George are sliding down the slide and they land on the cyan blue mat. Peppa Pig called the funhouse fun, the narrator calls it the same and the family does the backsplash laugh to end the episode at 2:55. This funhouse was merely fun enough for government work. *** 1/4 (65%).

Spa Day: Short opens with the pig family going to the spa because Mummy Pig is going to do some relaxation, which is what they did in the mainline series called The Perfect Day. Daddy is swinging George and wait a second?! Miss Rabbit has closed down the spa early because she has the sniffles, or a cold or COVID-19. Yeah, it's still a thing, we have to deal with it since it wasn't deadly enough to change minds about what is social and what is anti-social. So, Mummy Pig's hopes and dreams have been crushed. But, wait!! Peppa has an idea, let's have the spa at house and Mummy Pig says great idea and the narrator proclaims that Peppa always has great idea. I laughed and laughed and laughed some more. Peppa Pig coming up with ideas is comedy diamond. At least Daddy Pig has great ideas; but brain farts on some of them. So, we return to the little house on the hill and head to the sitting room as Mummy Pig enters the room and the rest of the family is there complete with three blue plastic tables and a boombox. Peppa introduces Mummy Pig at the homemade spa, that was funny. There are towels to the far right on a blue table as Peppa dims the lights to create spotlights. Peppa then gets confused and has to ask Mummy Pig about spas because she's never experienced service in the spa because the last episode Mummy Pig was in a spa, Peppa, Daddy and George walked around the mall and took pictures with Suzy. Great continuity! Mummy Pig wants some lemon water. I think she meant lemonade or lemon juice in water to dilute the lemon sourness; but Peppa and George bail and return with a glass of water with TWO lemons stuffed in it. HAHA! Mummy Pig of course drinks it and one of the lemons falls to the floor. HAHA! Mummy Pig calls it the lemoniest water ever. You don't say?! I don't doubt you for a second. Next up, George takes the shoes off Mummy's feet as it's soaking feet in a container like I do it. Peppa has zero idea what a foot bath is and Mummy Pig has to explain it. Peppa calls Mummy Pig, Mrs. Mummy Pig, as if Mummy is her first name legit. Also funny: Peppa dragging Daddy Pig out of the sitting room and they go into the kitchen to make the foot bath and return with it. Mummy Pig puts her feet into the foot bath and relaxes...until Peppa uses bubbles to make it a bubble foot bath complete with rubber duckie and penguin toy. HAHA! Also, Daddy Pig brings in more toys and throws them into the bath as Mummy Pig is amused by this. Also funny.

Mummy Pig giggles as she leaves the foot bath and dries her feet with the towels as we head to the sofa for the message and Peppa has no idea what that is. Mummy Pig demonstrates her back rubbing skills on Peppa! Seriously, this is a thing that happened on a pre-school show. Then again, George stuffed Mr. Dinesaur in his pants to create a plastic penis, so why am I surprised?! The back rub is a lot less creepy than what happened in Baby Bumps, so there you go. Then we get revenge time as Mummy Pig lies on her belly on the sofa and gets a message by Peppa and George using toy trains. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hey, it's still better than Gorilla Monsoon doing a back rub on Bobby Heenan on Prime Time Wrestling that is for sure. Mummy Pig is amused by this as we end with a mud mask, but wait! They don't have the special mud Miss Rabbit use; which is funny because the mud mask is literally mud although they use that expensive stuff like the Dead Sea mud mask (which includes shea butter and manuka honey for one example). So, the spa is ruined, but wait! Peppa Pig knows how to get themselves out of this and it's the best way how: They go outside and they jump up and down in muddy puddles. DING! Mummy Pig's face is a mud mask, it might as well be 1.0 Peppa. Muddy Puddles in the first episode was literally a 10.0 Peppa since both George and Peppa were covered from head to toe with green lining on the eyes. The narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:21. This is the funniest spa episode ever, and nothing will ever top it. **** (80%).

Tacos: Short opens in the kitchen as the family puts bags of food on the table. Their tummies rumble because they are hungry; so tonight is Taeco Saturday (I'm writing this on a Saturday, it doesn't have to make sense) since that is how Daddy Pig pronounces it. Peppa's pronouncation was slightly better than Daddy Pig's anyway. It's "ta-co" not "tae-co" by the way, Mummy Pig. Everything else is correct though. It's also six o'clock on the clock in the background. So, we start with washing the veggies in a bowl in the sink, which means splish-splash the veggies were taking a bath all on a Saturday night as I put my dancing shoes on and do the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM to kill time in a three minute episode. George splashes water on everyone with the smallest tomatoes they could find. HA! The narrator says it all as we have tomatoes, red onions (despite clearly being purple) and greens like lettuce. Daddy Pig has to slice the onions, which is much more difficult when you have glasses on because when you tear up and cry, the glasses fog up since fog is semi-gasous water vapor basically. Daddy Pig explains the science behind the evil onions and Peppa has a solution for this as she...BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes, they are wearing snorkeling pipes and goggles. Of course! What a fool I am?! Since this is a meatless taco, we are using avacado as the meat sub, so that means making gucamole, the second time this show has reminded me of Gruel & Unusual Punishment, since it was a gucamole taco that caused Baloo to be a prisoner on Bedeviled Island and nearly caused another terrorist attack on Thembria. Mummy Pig gives Peppa the potato masher and Peppa mashes the avacado and splatters the table and the adult faces of course, because Peppa Pig is so bad. At least Mummy tells Peppa to ease up and Peppa does! Good! Onions and tomatoes are added as we add the squeeze of lime and George is so into doing this that Mummy Pig's expression is like "no, George". Then Mummy just gives George the half sliced lime anyway. George squeezes the lime so hard, it hits Daddy Pig in the eye, except Daddy remembers to put his safety goggles on. HAHA! See, he's not dumb after all. So, all the topping are on the table in bowls as the family takes tortillas as the adults have the works including beans, Peppa loves lots of gucamole and George just eats his plain. HAHA! Some of the filling falls on the plates, but Peppa proclaims that they'll just put more in, everyone laughs, episode ends at 3:11. Fun episode, with the snorkel saving Daddy Pig from becoming dumb for once. *** 1/2 (70%).

Prizes: Short opens outside the supermarket with a spinning vending machine with Mummy Mouse and Mandy Mouse getting a prize out of the vending machine. Guess who is tending the booth? If you said Miss Rabbit, you win nothing. AND THE ROCK SAYS NOTHING~! Even though you are a more kind hearted person then these writers by default. Yes, I am done with the nicknaming of Mummy Mouse as the Pig family coming out of the supermarket. Mummy Pig is wheeling the shopping cart outside as Peppa and George are outside, no Daddy Pig. He is smarter than his dumb persona suggests methinks. Mandy is totally bored; but cheers when she gets the jumbo sized container which contains a yoyo; which is trademarked as a name in Canada (and caused Nintendo to change the yoyo in Startropics to a star). Peppa and George are already in awe of this, which is big trouble for Mummy Pig's bank account. However, since Mummy Pig has to accept draining her bank account to continue the plot as Miss Rabbit waves to Peppa and George, even offering them a chance to drain Mummy Pig's bank account. Is this a cry for help to get the world to take the hint and do their actual fair share? TUNE INTO SOFT COPY TO FIND OUT~! Miss Rabbit explains the vending machine using penny like tokens and there is a lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) as the vending machine looks like a giant gumball machine I see at malls; only purple. By the way, there is a dine-e-saur inside one of the containers where George spots it right away. If you cannot guess the ending right now, you have no business trying out for writing classes. Mummy Pig declares that Peppa and George get one try apiece. Peppa gets a coin and doesn't care what she gets; but George has tunnel vision because he wants that plastic dine-e-saur. Problem is that he goes first to insert the token and pull the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) down and the narrator narratives the whole sequence as if he decided to audition for How It's Made or something. This assures George is not getting what he wants as the blue container drops out and George grabs it. He opens it thinking he's won; but it's a....what the hell is THAT THINGIE?! It looks like a lightbulb attached to a purple stick. How is this supposed to entertain me?! I have nothing to work here and I don't blame George for being disappointed here; because this toy sucks.

The narrator then describes it as a toy screwdriver which Miss Rabbit pops for it! Screw her! Literally and figurally with said screwdriver, I don't care if it's plastic! George is so not buying what Miss Rabbit is selling as Peppa decides to help George get his dine-e-saur, which proves that she didn't care what she got in the machine. Peppa puts in the token and pulls the lever (CLEVER CLOGS!) and gets a purple container, assuring that it's not a dine-e-saur since rigid gender roles colors still apply in this show. Peppa opens the container and it's a sheet of stickers. George is protesting this outrage only he knows how. Mummy Pig discovers that the ice cream is beginning to melt and tries to wheel the shopping cart away; but Miss Rabbit has a feeling that the dine-e-saur will come out. Keep in mind, Mummy Pig is not lying here; the ice cream was starting to melt and the ice cream was showing signs of melting. Of course, it's PEPPA who wants to try again for George's sake and since Peppa Pig is the star and everyone's a geek, Mummy must obey Peppa and give her the MON-EY~! I do find it ironic that this is considered immoral until a rich person is involved and then it's not only moral but a matter of surivial. There are times when no morals are better than crappy morals, not saying that no morals are even close to being the best morals. Mummy Pig relents and they all tag team to put the token in the machine. This is enough to actually literally shut the machine down. Okay, that's a plot twist I wasn't expecting. Since it was her coin, they actually have every right to protest this regardless if the limit was broken or not. Miss Rabbit realizes this and brings out a cardboard box containing various international objects, but she somehow cannot find her screwdriver. Okay; which hardcore wrestler stole her screwdriver before this episode started?! But wait; George's plastic screwdriver is still in his hands and remember when Miss Rabbit called it useful earlier? Yup; this is show the machine is repaired. So, Miss Rabbit repairs the machine, pulls the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and all the containers drop from the machine onto the ground. Of course! Since George's original prize helped here, George gets the green container featuring the dine-e-saur and he's so happy. Peppa then sticks a heart sticker right onto Miss Rabbit's nose after thanking her. Awww! My heart melted. Everyone laughs and snorts, George hugs his new toy, the narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:15. This was awesome as George's sucky toy saved the day in the end. **** 1/4 (85%).

Magic Show: Short opens at Playgroup with Peppa dressed up in a black suit and a top hat; looking more like she's going to a grave site than being a magician. Peppa is shuffling cards containing pictures and they all fall to the ground as Daddy Pig is here wearing literally the same outfit as Peppa outside of the size. Far shot of everyone in the room as we have besides the two pigs: Gigi Gazelle, Gerald Giraffe, Candy Cat, Rebecca Rabbit, Danny Dog, Emily Elephant, Pedro F'N Pony and Suzy Sheep dressed up like she is doing a rap video about white and orange stars. Seriously; she's dressed like a literal orange star with white stars on the sleeves and leg sleeves of the outfit. It's show and tell day as Gigi thanks Suzy for being a starfish; which I assume would be the new name of her rap group when she is old enough to actually rap. Here's another episode where it could easily be a mainline episode because Peppa and Daddy Pig are up next, meaning Suzy is the only one we see showing and telling. Anyhow; Daddy Pig introducing himself as the Amazing Mysterio, which (a.) Rey Mysterio you are not and (b.) nothing is more mysterious than your love for concrete. Peppa addresses herself as the Amazing Peppao! I wish she said Amazing Pepper! That would have been money, and then I would understand why Mr. Potato called Peppa Pig, Pepper Pig at least. Gigi is the only one smiling, the kids are so not buying this and their shock and awe sounds so corny. Peppa calls Daddy Pig "Mr. O" which is funnier than his real name, much less stage name as Peppa wants to do some magical magic. Peppa then screws up the very first command because she's wearing the top hat already as Daddy Pig has to inform her for that and the kids are giggling. Peppa is being such a geek for my pleasure. Peppa finally gets it and she is going to pull a rabbit from the top hat. Peppa pulls up the top hat and on her head is the toy rabbit and the giggling is so bad it has to be intentional and hideously hilarious. That toy rabbit is like Mr. Fuji's hat, it lierally stays on Peppa's head as she is doing her magic trick with the wand. I howled with laughter. Peppa cannot find the toy rabbit in the hat and is already asking Daddy Pig about it and Daddy Pig is in the awkward position of having to tell her that the toy rabbit is on her head. But it doesn't matter because the toy rabbit slips into the top hat, Peppa turns around and finds it. Everyone does the most contrived giggling, popping and clapping hands of all time.

So for her next trick, she is going to introduce some flowers to Gigi Gazelle and Gigi is amused by this. Peppa does the trick and flowers pop from the top of the wand and smack her in face. Way harder than Mallory's kick on Mighty Ducks: The Animated Series I might add. Peppa is perfectly all right, because it's just a bunch of daises. Of course, Daddy Pig does it and the same flowers hit him in face with the wand on the rear end. Not as hard as the ones Peppa suffered; but whatever. Peppa gives both flower packs to Gigi. Peppa returns as Daddy Pig gives her two golden hoops because it's time for the magic ring trick. Oh; this is going to be funny to mock. More so when Daddy Pig just dead names her. It's Peppa-O, Daddy Pig. So, Peppa dead names Daddy Pig in response. HA! Peppa does her magic chant and then touches the two rings and they will not stick. HAHA! She tries multiple times with no dice and then once more which she falls on her ass and the card along with a yellow wash cloth and red ball fall out of her pockets. Peppa concedes that she sucks at magic, and Daddy Pig refuses to believe this. Why should I believe Daddy Pig, he's about as good as Peppa is when it comes to magic. By the way, there are two red marks on the rings to indicate where the rings will connect, so Daddy Pig whisper yells the standard "you can do it" speech, Peppa tries again and this time gets it right because she figured out where the red marks were on both rings. It's subtle, but I can see them clearly. The kids and Gigi pop for it, Peppa and Daddy Pig are so happy as they do the last magic trick which is to put a black cloth with white star on themselves and then poof, they disappear. Which is written out by teleport and literally teleport behind everyone who goes to the cloth to check on them. HAHA! See, Suzy Sheep was right all along, everything in Peppa Pig is magic. The narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:17. A fun episode complete with Peppa being a geek for my pleasure and proving that science doesn't really exist in the Peppa Pig world. *** 3/4 (75%).

Play Dates: Short opens with Suzy Sheep, Peppa Pig holding a stick with a green piece of tissue paper stuck to the top and Emily Elephant are running around Daddy and Mummy Pig in the sitting room which is a mess. Then George Pig, Richard Rabbit and Edmond Elephant are carrying pillows and stuffed owls, running in the same counter clockwise direction as the older kids. More colored tissue paper on stick somehow magically appear out of nowhere as Daddy Pig wonders if they were responsible for having play dates on the same day. Answer: yes. In comes Granny and Grandpa Pig announcing themselves and then sees all the chaos, because of course! Then they just leave because three play dates is like love triangles, nothing ever ends well. So, we head for the building blocks as the older kids want to finishing building that overdue wall to keep the toddlers out, or something. George brings out his dine-e-saur because of course, George has tunnel vision when it comes to play options. Grrr time, Edmond and Richard bail stage left, George chases after them, yee-haw! This would all be fine, if the toddlers wouldn't running over baskets since the adults are literally tidying up in the middle of the whole thing. Daddy Pig is fine with the chasing, but slow down because the camera cannot catch up. Like in WWE when you do the airplane spin nowadays: slow down and let the camera do the spinning. The older kids finish the castle wall with triangle blocks and I betcha George and company destroy the wall faster than a wrecking ball. I check the video...Not quite: none of the toddlers touch the blocks at all. George scares Peppa with the plastic dine-e-saur and Peppa destroys her own wall. HAHA! That's even better than George doing it himself. Peppa is fine, but everyone is sad because Peppa tore down this wall; so they love Germany to be East and West Germany. If they have equal democracy, I could be okay with it; but I doubt that would happen, so NO! George hugs Peppa and apologizes despite Peppa being the dumb geek being scared of a plastic dine-e-saur after all the years of mocking George's favorite plastic pet. Basically, this episode is another "must work together to make it all work" segment as Peppa has a plan: make a bigger castle that is an actual castle, assign Daddy Pig and Mummy Pig crowns and become king and queen; set up trees and dine-e-saurs on the ground together and the older kids get the plastic armor set. Okay, I can live with this.

Peppa is the shield of the group while Suzy is the helmet and Emily is the thick metal skin of the outfit. So, Daddy and Mummy Pig somehow sit on the sofa despite having a castle gate block the entire thing. Geez, more teleportation. The toddlers rush in with dine-e-saurs of doom and the acting by Daddy and Mummy Pig is hideously hilarious. The adults holding hands and shaking is so bad, it's almost ableism. Almost. Daddy and Mummy plead for help...badly...in comes Peppa, Emily and Suzy in their plastic armor of doom. Peppa seems to have a gimmick where she calls the queen as if the queen is her last name! So, Peppa and the kids bring out the MAGIC TISSUE PAPERS ON STICKS OF DOOM and the chase is on as the narrator is about to do his final promo spiel; but stops in mid-sentence because Granny and Grandpa Pig return and it's all chaos as Mummy and Daddy Pig join in the fun and mess up the sitting room again. Granny and Grandpa Pig leave and decide to come tomorrow as the narrator finishes the promo and that ends the episode at 2:50. Another fun episode with some bad acting that shouldn't be this bad. I see Daddy Pig got his acting classes from Mummy Pig, too. *** 1/2 (70%).

Toyland Giants: Short opens with Peppa turning the sitting room into a tiny block land with plastic trees. Mummy Pig is sitting on the loveseat reading. Peppa is creating a pretty colorful bridge and then the ground dramatically rumbles and George growls and the bridge collapses within seconds. Peppa is shocked and not impressed with this as Mummy Pig catches George straight away. Mummy Pig tells George to be careful because the town is smaller than he is since he's cosplaying a dinosaur. So, Peppa decides to play dinosaur chase with Peppa being chased by George because of course! Then we HIT THE DREAM SEQUENCE~ for no good reason whatsoever as we have Mr. Fox (in a tan shirt rowing a canoe), Mummy Mole and Madame Donkey appearing in the town as we focus on Officer "Why does this show hate my kids" Panda as Miss Rabbit runs in while a bird flies around in the background. Panda cuts a promo about being a normal day in toyland, which means it's boring and you must leave! Here comes Peppa greeting the officer while being at least 100 times bigger than Miss Rabbit and Officer Panda combined. Her snort alone causes earthquakes, so I shudder to think if a muddy puddle is nearby. This town would be entombed within seconds if there was one. Then to make things even worse, here comes giant George who is about 50 times bigger than Miss Rabbit and Officer Panda combined. Peppa and George double snort and we head back to reality (no, not really) as they giggle and do this whacky dance for awhile so that the narrator can talk about what the two are doing. Dream sequence resumes as Giant Peppa is waving at birds and Giant George is trying to make clouds jnto dinosaurs, making Kit Cloudkicker into Sad Kit again (which is hilarious since Paradise Lost in TaleSpin featured dinosaurs.) . By the way, it appears that the WGA/SGA Hollywood strike might soon be over as I am writing this and this might mean the TaleSpin reboot could still be progressing after all. I know I said that I'll believe it when I see a final product; but Disney has trademarks for both it and Darkwing Duck, so it's not like there are plans for this. It might be cancelled before it production starts for whatever reason/excuse Disney wants to come up with; but I cannot longer say that it's a rumor anymore. It's going to be fun to see what Seth Rogan does with TaleSpin and I hope it goes well. Anyhow, back to the pre-school anthros as the spotty ball is inside the plastic tree as Danny Dog, Suzy Sheep and Pedro F'N Pony are screwed, so in comes Peppa and George to save the spotty ball. The kids handle the snorts a lot better than the adults did.

Peppa and George want to help, but George walks into the river and splash the kids with water, they don't care. George apologizes and then we return to reality (no, not really) as there is a glass of water spilt on the floor, despite the fact that there was no glass of anything much less water in the scene the entire time! In the real world, that is a logic break! In Peppa Pig's world, it's magic! Why is anyone surprised by this?! The spotty ball is a marble in the real world as this was only an excuse to get Mummy Pig to clean up the mess, as usual. Back to the dream sequence as Peppa gives the spotty ball to the kids and then we jump cut to Miss Rabbit inside the bus as Mr. Labo, Mummy Sheep, Doctor Hamster, Mummy Mole and Doctor Brown Bear, for the first time since Health Check. Peppa helps the adults get at the top of the double-decker bus as Doctor Brown Bear actually spoke, albeit sounding like Daddy Pig here. Peppa and George then push a motorboat driven by Grandpa Pig, and Grandpa Pig was annoyed at first, but since Peppa is the star and everyone's a geek, he accepts it and loses his hat in the process. Peppa and George skip for a while and then Mr. Bull is like "STOP~!" because the bridge is out and the first car to line up is drive by Doctor Brown Bear! Who was on a bus 30 seconds ago?! This makes no sense! Peppa points out the obvious and George feels sad, so they go back to reality and fix the block bridge and return to dreamland as everything is fine as the second car is driven by Mummy Cat! Why not have her as the first car and maybe the second be by Officer Panda perhaps if you want to recycle characters. Mr. Bull of course is on the out of nowhere megaphone and he screws up his promo because it's "GO!" not "STOP!", because we have to bury him as the dumb one since Daddy Pig isn't available for this episode. The cars go across the bridge and of course they recycled Mummy Sheep for the third car, who was also on the bus earlier. The fourth one is a taxi driven by a Daddy Kangeroo clone as George gets the Daddy Pig water splash because he's hungry of course! Peppa is hungry too as they discover that the fruit is like blueberries on trees; but wait! Here comes Daddy Pig with two giant plates of spaghetti and tomato sauce just to end this episode at 3:07 with George being careless; but he is corrected and fixes the bridge to end it. A fun episode with some logic breaks that show why the show needs more nuance in their character designers. *** 1/2 (70%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well, a total funfest of shorts in this one as only one episode was below *** 1/2 and that one was only 1/4* short. Prizes was the best one of the lot as it told a pretty good story with a great finish that made me look like a geek for thinking that it was the worse prize in existence. Magic Show was almost a **** classic that fell short due to the shaky logic that is becoming a gimmick on this show and Spa Day was really good as well, with Mummy Pig getting a G version of the spa day, although Miss Rabbit's cold sounds more like a sign of lethal burnout at this rate. The rest were fun stuff with their share of flaws as the character designer need to show more nuance because they keep recycling characters and creating logic break as a result. There was supposed to be one additional episode last week, but it appears that might be a false rumor from Fandom Wiki. No shock there. So...

Thumbs up for Prizes and Spa Day; thumbs in the middle for the rest , and I'll see you all next time.

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