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Peppa Pig Tales #14 Rant

Reviewed: 01/27/2024

Old School Peppa Pig Is Back! Sort of Part 14!

Well, since Peppa Pig the series has been slowing down and there's only four episodes left in the pot, I was going to resume TaleSpin work this year. An easy series that gives me great joy in terms of mockery and enjoyment. There is still lots let to do before I can finally wrap that show up. Sadly, TaleSpin has been delayed until at least 2025, because my second love and enjoyment decided to really run interference on me. How so you ask? Welcome to the Rant Shack: Peppa Pig Tales! And after the very first episode, I cannot resist and I'm going to rant on these "shorts" because Baby Alexander is back and creating a lot more questions than answers. (March 2023 Gregory Weagle Says: Hold it! I have just gotten word that there is no problems with Uncle and Auntie Pig and the family is getting along just fine. You'll see the evidence in Baby Bumps. Only one missing is Cousin Chole now.) Peppa Pig Tales is a series of short 3-3 1/2 minute episodes (Literally up to 75% of an average "Peppasode".) of Peppa Pig doing stuff without the original voices or creators with most of the "filler" cut out. That's basically it. It is awkward listening to this when you are so used to seeing the show, however; it is basically the same in term of premise. So, I'll be doing eight episodes per block like I always do until this series gets sick and tired of this and goes back to the actual Peppa Pig series which has reached eight series up to this point. How do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

Editor's Note: I will no longer be revealing which episodes were done by who, since my video source keeps cutting off the EDs and it's basically the same five to six writers anyway.

(2024 Gregory Weagle Says: We have a new writer on board: Rebecca Hyland, who wrote Supermarket Sprint and Mermaids. Apparently, did acting for 30 roles including Laa-Laa in the new mini-seires for Teletubbies: Ready, Steady, Go! along with the original series starting in 2015 as her most recent credit; and In The Night Garden... as Upsy Daisy. Most of the credits are uncredited, debuted in Memoirs of a Geisha in 2005. Also did some motion capture and choreographer. Apparently, this is the first known writing role.)

Train Robbery: Short opens in a dream sequence of Peppa Pig and Danny Dog riding the toy train as train conductors carrying cars of "gold", "silver dollars" and "sparkly" broccoli, since they are really cosplaying conductors in the school house on the hill. They are using alphabet blocks, quarters (more or less) and broccoli which is normal and not sparkly. Danny Dog is wearing a bicycle helmet while Peppa is wearing a white waiters hat as Peppa claims that the broccoli is really sparkly diamonds in disguise. Why not?! This show is magic anyway, no science crap in this one. We head back to imagination world as a pirate ship shows up out of nowhere on the water as Suzy Sheep and Pedro F'N Pony are cosplaying pirates while looking like pirate versions of the Lone Ranger and it's in the name of robbers because Pedro cannot say "god" on this show. Peppa and Danny panic and run in a disorganized fashion while Suzy and Pedro giggle at their expense. Suzy is the most polite train robber in history, even saying please when she wants to take their treasure. Peppa and Danny say no, and Suzy just quits! HAHA! Suzy is wearing a pink mask, Pedro is wearing a crimson red mask. No, he's not bleeding you sick wrestling freaks! Peppa points out that she's supposed to steal the treasure, so Suzy and Pedro blitz Danny Dog and this drops Danny on his back doing the backsplash laugh, so that has to be the most weaksauce tickle moment in cartoon history. So, Pedro and Suzy in the imagination world steal all the treasure, including the diamond dust broccoli of doom. Pedro is so clueless because he wonders what to do next, so Peppa has to do the setup line to escape. Still less clueless than Sony Ponies. Pedro pulls the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) on the ship and the ship escapes stage right. But wait, Peppa and Danny set up these naughty robbers because the train also doubles as a police train complete with blue siren and police hats. Of course! What a fool I am?! The police train catches them and Suzy and Pedro give up instantly. HAHA! Peppa -- AGAIN -- has to do a setup as Gigi Gazelle arrives to put a lime green book on the bookshelf and Pedro is asking questions because the setup is for the pirate ship to fly and it makes no sense. Pedro, you can steal from Her Chance To Dream, it's not like TaleSpin is going to ever get reboot....Oh wait, never mind.

Gigi claims that real ship cannot fly, but this is imagination world, so screw that anyway. The naughty robbers cheer as the ship flies high into the sky. Danny and Peppa are not happy with this, but wait! Danny Dog basically is like "Nuts To You, we have a flying train!". Gertude, Grandpa Pig, eat your heart out as this train flies into the sky chasing the naughty robbers. It's a tight race until the giant SHADOW DADDY PIG arrives to ruin the whole damn thing. Oh, wait; he's taking them home. So, all the kids take their stuff and run around Daddy Pig in a circle in reality. Daddy Pig wonders what is going on and Peppa explains the obvious to us. Daddy Pig is so amused that he finds a green toy car and runs with it as the narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:06 with Gigi giggling. This was the definition of a banger and it was much funnier the second time around with the sound on, actually. **** 1/2 (90%).

Supermarket Sprint: Short opens in the supermarket with Peppa racing a shopping cart with George in it with Daddy and Mummy Pig cosplaying the official to make sure that the only thing going around is various cameos of Doctor "I Don't Do Console Wars" Pony, and Doctor "I Know Turtles Climb Trees, Honest!" Hamster. There is a lot of mobile phones being used to price check stuff. I'm so old that despite respecting technology, I still have no cell phone. Maybe, if they weren't always made of "paper-mache" and not cost $1000, I might considering getting one. I would think the phone cell monthly fees would more than make up for the price of the phone, but apparently not. Mr. Bull almost gets run over as he has to balance a can of bean with his legs, and kick them into the shopping cart of Daddy Pig, because it's part of the price check list. This is a very paperless world, methinks. The checkout closes in two minutes according to the Miss Rabbit PSA horns of doom as Peppa apologizes and giggles at the same time. Mr. Bull forgives her and it's time to race for your life. Peppa is racing the trolley and the back wheels are unstable, so George is bouncing. Mummy Pig offers another cart; but Peppa no sells because she loves it when anything is wibbly-wobbly. I could get behind this, if George wasn't in the cart and in danger of bouncing out and maybe landing on his head. Mummy Pig accepts and decides to race Peppa to the checkout with an empty cart. This sounds like an unfair advantage on Mummy Pig's part. So, we race for our lives as Mummy Pig easily takes the lead because her cart is not wibbly-wobbly; but wait. This is the world of Peppa Pig, of course the Peppa Pig cart is going to retake the lead. Daddy Pig follows and wants some cereal and thus Peppa grabs the cereal and everyone stops. Next: the stinky cheese, and Mummy Pig retakes the lead and grabs the cheese to tie this race at one food item apiece. Peppa gets some pasta, and then some grapes from Mummy Pig to tie this at two food items apiece. Next up is frozen peas and because the freezer is cold, Peppa is shivering to get the bag into the cart.

Last up is toilet paper on the opposite end of the checkout counter as Miss Rabbit is on the PSA informing them that the shop is about to close. The toilet paper is stacked in a mountain tomb by the way. Everyone goes stage left way too fast of course and this causes the toilet paper mountain to collapse and fall onto the floor and into the cart. George beeps the toilet paper with the mobile device, so I assume Peppa and George win the race 4-2 on food items. Miss Rabbit arrives and tells them the store is closed, and then renders the whole race pointless by telling them that they have to pay for everything including all the toilet paper they ran over. Everyone giggles as the narrator says it all as Daddy Pig drives the family on the boring road with toilet paper in every space fit to keep to end the episode at 3:04. A perfectly fine episode. *** (60%).

Celery Stick Falls: Short opens at a theme park at what looks like Potato City to me judging by the veggies in the backgrounds. That theory has more evidence in the bumper car ride with Mummy Pig, Peppa Pig, Rebecca Rabbit and Mr. Rabbit in a rare appearance as the cars clearly has a veggie motif, with Rebecca riding a carrot bumper car because of course. The narrator confirms that they are at Potato City as the anthros bump each other with cars for awhile. Peppa and Rebecca race the bumper cars into the barrier while taunting each other, the race is a draw. In comes Suzy Sheep, Emily Elephant and Pedro F'N Pony wearing swimming costumes, apparently Pedro forgot that boys can wear two piece/bodysuit costumes and might as well be literally in his underwear/pants. The kids all inform Peppa of a new ride at Potato City that is a splashy ride as Mummy Pig stops and does the 0.6 Rock Lobster Yeti frowny face because Mummy Pig apparently doesn't like being splashed. I guess she frowns and gets paranoid when she hears the "Splish Splash" song. Jump cut to Mummy Pig and the kids giggling as Mummy Pig is weaseling her way out of this situation in a background that makes Potato City literally look empty. The kids are not buying what Mummy Pig is selling, as Mummy Pig is sitting on a bench and wants to do so. Surrreee, Mummy Pig, surrreee. Her selling of the bench was better than her fake crying, I'll give Mummy Pig that much. Peppa states that she can do the bench selling after the water slide as Peppa grabs Mummy's arm and we are off to the waterslide as all the kids and Mummy Pig magically are in their swimming costumes because this is the world of Peppa Pig and cartoons are underrated still. Somehow, Peppa has the orange fins of doom and of course she goes first because she's the star and everyone else is a geek. There is a celery flume/log ride where Captain Dog, Danny Dog and Mummy Dog are riding down and there is a great sight gag which shows how dumb Mr. Bull is. Okay, Mr. Bull is standing in front of a sign about 10 feet away from the log ride. Mr. Bull literally yells "stop", but the log ride doesn't stop and he gets splashed. Mr. Bull literally assumed that the splashing sign was a "no splashing" sign (which is continuity from previous Peppa Pig Tales episodes where it says "No splashing" and Mr. Bull broke the rules), when the sign is to caution someone who gets too close that they are going to get splashed. Mr. Bull is officially more clueless than Pedro Pony. Ponder that for a moment and dispair...or laugh, who cares anymore?

This causes Mummy Pig to be beyond nervous, even though she wouldn't get splashed inside the thing! Also funny. Even worse, for Mummy Pig; she has to sit in the front of the celery stalk, which is funny because there is no place on that stalk where she wouldn't get splashed, so yeah. Peppa is second, Suzy is third, Rebecca is fourth, Emily is fifth and Pedro (the only male on the ride) is last and probably getting the peaks of being the least splash. The stalk rides the river calmly as Mummy Pig is relieved which is the setup to go up to the top, and Mummy Pig frowns again. Peppa then invokes the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM just because she's a troll that often makes me laugh, until she punches down on George. Peppa I don't think is trolling here though, I just think she's excited. The kids join in as Mummy Pig is nervous again. So, Miss Rabbit (you thought I forgot her, didn't I?!) is at the deck as the stalk stops. She's near a lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) which gives three choices: a little splash, a big splash and a humongous splash. Three guesses which one Peppa picks, and the first two don't count. Oh, Peppa cannot pronounce "humongous" to save her life. She says "hamongous" while bouncing up and down by the way. The kids cheer for the humongous splash or Mummy Pig's death. I have a hard time figuring out which one. By the way, the humongous splash is the red slide as Mummy Pig says no, democracy screws her over of course and Miss Rabbit pulls the lever (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and we go down the red slide as everyone panics and Pedro loses his glasses, just to make Mummy Pig look like a Karen. A very belevolent Karen, but still a Karen. A picture is take from the out of nowhere camera, which explains the television screen on the top left corner of the screen when the Dog family went down the ride. Cut to Mr. Bull drying himself with a towel and I'll betcha he gets splashed again because he's clueless. I check the video...Damn, I'm good. Another great moment: Miss Rabbit follows the stalk as she waddles behind it when it completely slows down and puts Pedro Pony's glasses back on. AWESOME! I thought they would forget that spot, but they didn't. The kids are so overdramatic about the splashing that was laughing my ass off. Sadly, Mummy Pig is probably going to therapy after this one, judging by that Johnny Gargano stare into the abyss. Oh wait, Mummy Pig loves it now and all is right with the world. No, not really. Mummy Pig wants to go again as they do the ride again, the narrator says it all as we see still photos of the kids and Mummy Pig looking like complete fools on the television screen to end the episode at 3:01. This episode ruled! **** 1/2 (90%).

Toy Factory: Short opens at the Build-A-Toy shop as George wants a "dine-e-saur" similar to Richard Rabbit's version, or a longneck one. Mummy Pig is tossing George into the air for no reason as Peppa Pig watches on so the narrator can finish his promo. Miss Rabbit greets them with a clipboard with three lines of blue scribbles on paper and she has to pretend that she doesn't know the Pig family and Peppa Pig buys in like a sucker. Everyone walks away stage right as George is frowning because he wants some dine-e-saurs. We head to two giant boxes containing two JAWS OF HALF LIFE and green neon glass with three white arrows in opposite directions, along with vents and an exit pipe. Miss Rabbit explains that this is where you can build-a-toy, so to speak, in the same vein as building a teddy bear for Build-A-Bear, which the store I believe is still around as I write this. I discover that the neon green glass is a computer touch screen which allows for three options at the same time, and it also has a dine-e-saur option for a head, which George likes by the way. George wants a yellow dine-e-saur to match his green one, apparently as Peppa says it all about George's love for dinosaurs. I mean, it's been a staple of the character since literally the second episode of Peppa Pig back in 2004! Yes, starting in May, 2024, I'm going to do a "20 Years Of Muddy Puddles" additional commentary, along with Easter Sadism of "50 Years Of Charging, Go Fish!" additional commentary of Chargeman Ken. So, Peppa and George play around with the touch screen for a while, thus they were playing misdirection on me from the start. Typical trolls. By the way, the superhero costume looks too close to the Blue Mage from Final Fantasy V. Peppa decides on a robot and does robot spots. At least in theory. George wants a yellow dine-e-saur of course, thus going literally 360 degrees.

Miss Rabbit returns and swipes her security card into the scanner on the conveniently placed wall. The top screen assembles the toys and then to the right of the machine there is a shelf of teddy bears among anthromorphic plush animals below said shelf. Also, there's a coat rack where you can dress the toys. Betcha the toys go naked after lots of thought is put into this to kill time in a three minute episode. But wait, Peppa has picked a tutu and George has picked an ugly sweater with fins on it. After messing up the coat rack and throwing outfits to the ground, Miss Rabbit takes the two selections and puts them into the pipe, which the tutu goes on the dine-e-saur and the sweater with fins goes on the robot. The narrator calls them the wrong outfits. Sod off, bigot. Thankfully, Miss Rabbit don't care because they are fun toys anyway. Dinosaur in a tutu is that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH~! Naked toys are opposite of money. Peppa and George don't care either and Peppa is having fun as they go into the blue wall room containing what looks like a giant scale. But wait, it's actually a new toy machine according to Miss Rabbit. Peppa is put on the scale and the digital wand goes up and down when Miss Rabbit pushes the button and she gets scanned. Peppa cannot stay still to save her life. No matter, the scan shows a picture of Peppa Pig and the machine spits out a plush Peppa Pig doll. Luckly the FCC has no control over the internet, this might be a toy violation, similar to the model SeaDuck Kit was playing with in My Fair Baloo. The narrator says it all, except the eyes are creepy. Just saying. George dances like a goof on the machine and gets scanned so many times that he creates dozens of George dolls, some which have different emotions on their faces. Everyone giggles as George grabs dolls of himself and the narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:05. Good thing those toys aren't Teddy Ruxpin dolls, the therapy bills for the asshole demographic would be huge. This was a fun episode and a dinosaur with a tutu on will never fail to make me laugh. *** 1/2 (70%).

Balloons: Short opens with Peppa skipping outside on the sidewalk and guess who she meets? Penny Polar Bear and Mummy Polar Bear! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! FINALLY! They better follow this up with the two mommies officially debuting in a focus episode on Tales, or the writers are a bunch of idiots. Mummy Pig and George Pig enter as we get meet and greets with Gigi Gazelle and Mr. Bull as well. The narrator explains that the family is here to pick up a balloon from the balloon shop for a garden party. Just one? I just checked Google and there is a balloon shop in Darthmouth called Balloon Boyz. Hope they are very good at selling balloons. Mummy Pig is calling for Miss Rabbit from outside which is out of character for this show, until you realize that the entire shop is filled with balloons that would make hoarders hang their heads in shame. Peppa and George love this as they bounce balloons and bury themselves for fun. Peppa invokes the balloon weiner of dirty doom as Mummy Pig is calling for Miss Rabbit. Peppa pounds on balloons, Mummy Pig giggles and Miss Rabbit pops from the balloon tomb as apparently, she has been buried since Tuesday morning. Miss Rabbit thinks it's lunchtime, but it's actually Wednesday and Miss Rabbit just looks like she just found out her...oh wait, she's ignores it anyway. Of course! What a fool am I?! By the way, Miss Rabbit is at the counter as she has all the balloons for Mummy Pig for the garden party as Mummy Pig panics because she only bought one. Miss Rabbit checks the receipts and it's so long, Peppa and George are tied up much to Peppa's amusement and mine. Miss Rabbit proclaims that Mummy Pig bought one...thousand balloons for the garden party. Questions: Balloons in real life come in packages of 100-300 depending on the brand and type. First question: Who buys ONE balloon for a garden party besides a moron?! Second question: Who's idea was it to BLOW UP THE DAMN BALLOONS IN THE GOD DAMN STORE?! Inquiring minds would like to know, most so the second question. Mummy Pig doesn't need all these balloons, as they are recycled balloon, so Peppa proclaims that they will sell them outside as Peppa takes balloons and sell them to Gigi Gazelle, Mr. Bull, Mummy Polar Bear, Penny Polar Bear, Mummy Cat among others. Oh goodie, Officer "I never met an inaminate object I didn't like to ticket" Grey Squirrel is back.

The family comes back as Miss Rabbit proclaims that there is only 992 balloons left to sell. Ummm, It's under 991 balloons since at least NINE people got a balloon, for free since no money was shown to be exchanged. That's a logic break. Peppa Pig cannot stand this anymore as Mummy Pig's cellphone rings because the garden party needs to be set up. Miss Rabbit has a plan, might as well call her Mimi, show! You can have that one for free. So, everyone grabs balloon as they use helium since George almost floats away, so we jump cut to the garden party which is basically a garden party with 991 balloons. So, the garden party starts as Gerald Giraffe and Daddy Giraffe appear along with Mummy Polar Bear and Penny Polar Bear, sadly no Doctor Polar Bear yet. Give us the two mommies together, you cowards! Peppa Pig has a cyan balloon on a string as she is making small talk with Suzy Sheep. By the way, there is a giant fruitcake in the center of the garden party made of balloons. 2:1 odds this gets destroyed by the end of the episode because destroyed cakes are funny. They are, unless you are Baloo having a destroyed cake destroyed by machine gunfire by the cops. Then it's not funny. Damn, I sound like the narrator. That's.... refreshing? Anyhow, the males are all sword fighting each other with weiner balloons because I have a dirty mind, you see. Gerald is using one as a hair comb. Miss Rabbit is literally making balloon models of Peppa and Suzy. Suzy and Peppa get the model balloons from Miss Rabbit as everyone is happy. Then we get the payoff as shown by the video: A sack race, only using balloons as sacks. Mummy Polar Bear, Daddy Giraffe, Mr. Bull and Daddy Pig, and yes; this is as absurd as it sounds. Naturally the two dumbest males in the show pop theirs balloons and are DQ'ed. George is bawling his eyes out because his green balloon popped. Betcha it was a dine-e-saur balloon. I check the video...Nope, they just give George a yellow balloon and George is happy again. Well, that was kind of dumb as more swordfighting ensues as Mummy Polar Bear is still the only one racing when everyone has given up. The narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:08. I LOVE this episode, because it's so stupid, but I was laughing so hard it was more than worth it. **** 1/2 (90%).

Mermaids: Short opens with Peppa coming in holding a mermaid doll making fish noises at the aquarium with George Pig, Danny Dog, Suzy Sheep (with her own mermaid doll), Emily Elephant, Edmond Elephant, and Candy Cat along with Mummy Cat. The kids run to a fish tank containing a giant octopus smiling as Miss Rabbit is cleaning the glass with a glass wiper. Edmond Elephant does his clever clogs speak of the day as octopi have two legs and six arms according to him. So, either this octopus is a reverse Octopede, or Edmond was watching too much Teddy Ruxpin cartoons. Kids don't care because being wibbly-wobbly is a motif on this show and it's funny. Most of the time, it is. Next tank contains a rainbow trout like fish that is literally a rainbow and a dolphin. Peppa gets inspired and wants to cosplay a mermaid and Suzy points out that they don't have tails of mermaids, so Peppa says that they can pretend of course. Suzy and Peppa fist bump using the mermaid dolls and that instantly brings out the dream sequence of them in the fish tank being mermaid with starfish on their ears. Lots of swimming ensues as they tease the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM, but don't deliver. Huh? Suzy and Peppa taunt...ERRR...I mean cut promos on the seahorseys (their words, not mine) for awhile. They find an oyster shell closed and the kids are confused, which spirals them back to reality (no, not really), so Miss Rabbit can explains to us what it is. Miss Rabbit's explaination of a pearl is so on brand it's funny. Suzy wants to open the shell and Miss Rabbit says that the oyster does it itself when it's ready and we must wait. I love how this show is teaching us the art of accepting how delays works without really doing it. Back to the imagination world with Suzy trying to literally spy on the oyster shell and failing badly. HAHA! Peppa knocks on oyster and asks "nicely" to open it's shell. The oyster surprisely no-sells this deal. This oyster is buried now and not coming back. You don't bury Peppa Pig, she's the star and you are the geek like everyone else. Only Peppa buries Peppa! Suzy makes dentist references and Peppa rises up and tries to give the oyster a shock. The oyster no-sells and someone that was better than Suzy's sell of it. So, Mummy Mouse cannot do a scary voice and Suzy Sheep cannot sell a reaction to the scary voice. We need an episode of them together, STAT!

Peppa realizes that this isn't working despite the fact that the oyster is literally blowing bubbles for everyone to see. The leafy greens inside are tickling Peppa and Suzy, so Peppa and Suzy use them to literally tickle the oyster. The shell is not ticklish, so this fails so badly that it requires at least THREE jump cuts to so how ineffective this is. That was funny. So, Suzy and Peppa decide to sit down and take Miss Rabbit's advice of accepting to wait like gamers waiting for a delayed game to be released. Literally seconds after this, the oyster bring out it's heavenly light and opens it's shell to reveal it's pearl when we head back to reality (no, not really). Considering how every episode is less than three minutes long, these characters were waiting for less than a minute. That's about the patience of a two year old rather than a five year old. If it wasn't for the jump cuts, this would have made them more like a one year old. Everyone is in awe of the pearl, and then literally ten seconds later, the oyster shell closes and everyone is not happy. So, this was a preview trailer instead. I should have known. Danny Dog just missed seeing it because he actually was constructive with his own time and was willing to wait, and now he forgot that the oyster opened and he's screwed and complaining. HAHA! Danny wants to open the shell, the kids blow him off for that and Danny paces around as the oyster shell opens the second time while the narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:12. A perfectly wibbly-wobbly episode about patience in a show where everything is sped up because it's a three minute episode. *** (60%).

Tree House Camp Out: Short opens with Suzy Sheep with a purple hat with a purple feather that would not send Michael Eisner to the Phantom Zone, but maybe to the Danger Zone. Suzy knocks on the door and Peppa is inside with the tea party all setup along with wearing a white hat with a purple feather, which means Michael Eisner is burning in hell now. Thanks a lot, show. There is also a coat rack in the background despite no coats, so it's probably going to be the hat rack and it is as Suzy has a carriage containing the plush owl of doom. They cosplay drinking tea at the tea table for a while as they make small talk about lots of weather, which is codeword for "sunny" with no clouds. Somehow, I didn't laugh at them or with them. Then there is another knock on the door and it opens to reveal Granny and Grandpa Pig. I was hoping that they ask to join the tea party, that would have been funny; but no, it's to inform Suzy Sheep that Mummy Sheep is here to take them home. Suzy is frowning and groaning with Peppa in frustration. Which I have learned can get you a ticket in school in Mississippi, and if you take God's name in vain; you can have social media losing their minds about the JC instead of the F-R-U-S-T-R-A-T-I-O-N. Hey, I can spell like Helen Lovejoy, too, you know! Peppa Pig wants a tea party and a sleepover, please. I love Granny Pig: She has to say "yes" because if she says "no" then all she's teaching Peppa that saying "please" and "thank you" doesn't work, that being polite is just a tool of oppression, the jig is up and she looks like a fool. Awesome! Grandpa Pig and Mummy Sheep are ready to show their hypocrisy, so Granny Pig says yes and the kids all cheer. I love it! So, the kids go back into the treehouse as the adults all agree to look after them outside with their own sleepover. Oh, this is going to be fun to mock. The adults throw sleeping bags, pillows and toys; including two toy dinosaurs; making all of George's whining about losing dinosaurs look like he's a crying fountain. You couldn't have two extra Teddies or even two dinosaurs that weren't George's dinosaur?! That was dumb. The piece de resistance is a lamp with star holes in it, like an LED lamp, only with star holes. Jump cut to the kids in awe as we dim the lights and clean up the place, reducing every toy to one toy each. How about that for magic?! Or maybe not.

Grandpa Pig is so happy because he set up the tent to the right of the treehouse, but forgets to set up the two metal rods and the tent collapses. If you want to know how Daddy Pig is dumb, Grandpa Pig is the enabler. Remember what I said about this being fun to mock? Yeah. Granny Pig is either amused or ready to mock him. Either way, he earned that one. The kids all giggle as we jump cut back to the kids in the treehouse in their pjs (which is basically a sleeping dress) along with the adults outside, it's AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as everyone says good night as the adults are only there if the kids need them. The kids giggle, so they are up to something. They enter the treehouse and they play shadow puppeteering for a while to kill time in a three minute episode. And then Grandpa Pig snores and apparently this causes an earthquake in the treehouse, and the kids have to sell it like it's a 8.0 on the Richter Scale. That was funny! And it's not just Grandpa Pig, Granny Pig is snoring! That's even funnier as the kids are hugging each other in fear. The kids scream for Granny Pig and that wakes her up. She heads outside as the kids explain the situation and then Grandpa Pig snores again. I just love how the kids and Granny Pig are acting like there is a wild monster on the loose. Granted, the kids acting like this is believable; but Granny Pig?! She doesn't even know that snorting sound?! No, this is bullshit; this is even more bullshit than Kit Cloudkicker outsmarting Della Duck in Ducktales 2017! Granny Pig then turns around and she finally get it as the crisis is averted. The kids giggle, climb down to grass level and let Grandpa Pig literally snore the supports off the tent, the tent collapses...AGAIN! Grandpa Pig curses in literal DUB ANIME STYLE as he wakes up like Winnie The Pooh stuck in DA...HOLE (SLURP!), Granny and the kids do the backsplash laugh, the narrator says it all, end at 3:06. A slow beginning, but the second half was glorious, especially the finish. Grandpa Pig shouldn't be allowed to sleep in a tent ever again, and neither should Daddy Pig. He might cause an earthquake or something. *** 1/2 (70%).

Shopping Robot: Short opens in the supermarket as Daddy Pig, Mummy Pig, Peppa Pig and George Pig are putting food in the shopping cart. There is apple juice, pineapples, bread loaf, and strawberry jam in the cart among other items. George and Peppa are slapping skin, which is unusual and I have noticed it last episode as well. Miss Rabbit is at the counter and puts the red X because she has to go to the washroom, or the loo. I thought she said lude for a second there, which is a relief because what a confession that is for this show. Lude means using drugs for relief of anxiety, although if she had actually said that instead of loo; I feel bad for her since this gimmick is so beyond toxic now it's not funny. By the way, the supermarket has a self-checkout counter, which I will never use. While I'm not the biggest people person around, I do prefer being served by a human being. The only time that was a problem was when other customer talk up a storm for no reason other than to show how "human" they are, and those people need lesson in what a human being actually is. I also like to refrain from using my debt card unless I really need to and 95% of the time, I don't need to. I am not a Gen Z, although Gen Z and Boomers's Venn Diagram is closer to a circle than Gen Zers would like to admit. And that's whatever, I don't speak for Gen Z and I'm not going to pretend to. Moving right along, the self-checkout is considered a robot to Peppa. That was amusing. So, the computer greets them and Peppa and George literally taunt them with robot sounds. If AI get so advanced that it can be offended by this, those two are bacon and fried ham. The computer wants the green recycled bag we see on this show and by the way, Miss Rabbit is the voice of this computer, just to twist the knife further on Miss Rabbit. Peppa and George bring out Mummy Pig's purse and puts it in the shopping bag rack, and the computer determines that it's an invalid bag. I almost dream of Ed Hochuli being the voice of this computer because that would be hilarious. Just have him feed lines like "Invalid shopping bag by the customer, the penality is fifty cents extra on the bill, replay step one!" This would be so on-brand with Peppa Pig and her trolling and it's always funny when the troll gets trolled back. Sadly, it's Miss Rabbit, who will never be Ed Hochuli nor pretend to. Mummy Pig corrects them with the green shopping bag, and we proceed to step 2, scanning items. The first one scans perfectly, the apple juice just refuses to scan at all. Ed Hochuli "Invalid item. Scan code is not registered properly, refer to Miss Rabbit, replay step two!" In the computer's defense, even clerks at the checkout counter have this same issue multiple times.And of course, Mr. Bull, Gigi Gazelle, Officer "Why Does This Show Hate My Kids?!" Panda and Mummy Sheep looking like she's clearly believing that this self-checkout counter thingie is very "sus" if you will.

Peppa Pig don't care at all, she is going to keep scanning this item until it changes it's mind. And it DOES CHANGE IT'S MIND~ after Peppa blushes in frustration and getting invalid scans like a dozen times at least. She handled frustration a lot better than that kid in Mississippi, that is for sure. Probably still get written up because we have a culture war to win, amirite?! Like I said, Peppa is the star and everyone is a geek, including the self-checkout counter. I laughed and I laughed and I laughed and I laughed some more. And then the checkout counter just gets it's sweet revenge by registering TEN containers of apple juice. Daddy Pig attempts to cancel the amount of juice by pressing the "-" button on the touchscreen and the checkout is like "Fuck you!" and adds 60 items of apple juice. This causes Mummy Pig to push the red X on the left side and that stops everything. Listen, it's one thing for Daddy Pig to be dumb on his own and it's all his fault. Mock that all you want to. This spot is exactly why people think this show is bigoted towards men: The man did what you were supposed to do here and got screwed by the machine, meaning Mummy Pig had to make the save, making Daddy Pig look like an idiot for no good reason. Yup, this is old school Peppa Pig. So, the checkout counter is reset. Now, Mummy Pig telling everyone how to use the touchscreen to scan the pineapple is fine because she was teaching Peppa Pig and George Pig -- who don't know any better due to their age -- how scanning a non-scanable item. Only Miss Rabbit's supermarket would sell pinecones (which are edible if you prepare them a certain way for human use, although more difficult to digest than usual.) as they try to put it in the shopping bag. The checkout counter claims the item is too light and this is the moment where I realize that the writers hate self-checkouts and they played it in a subtle way to kill time in a three minute episode. Peppa puts George on the rack and the computer claims it's now too heavy and the computer has stopped caring and just yells "error" over and over again. Yup, the computer has a malfunction at the junction, at least everyone looks like an idiot instead of just Daddy Pig looking like an idiot. The Pig family just stops caring until Mr. Bull yells "STOP!" and suggests pushing the button on the side, and it doesn't work. Yup, the writers hate this machine as the machine has too many errors, spits out recipt tape and dies. I don't care about self-checkout, even I have my limits when it comes to technology. Miss Rabbit simply comes back to the counter, and everyone just decides to go to the counter and checkout there, completely burying this self-checkout counter. It's not as hilarious as this show burying American Football, sadly. So, the Pig Family is forced to the back of the line, even behind Mummy Cat, who is written in by teleport. The narrator says it all as the family groans and you will not guess what happens next: Mr. Bull successfully FIXES the self-checkout counter! Just made the biggest geeks out of literally everyone. Episode ends at 3:13. This is the best episode of Series 3 of this show so far. ***** (100%).

THE REVIEW LINE

We had four bangers in this set and four fun episodes. Shopping Robot was fantastic as Mr. Bull got the last laugh on everyone, and I do mean everyone. While it wasn't as hilarious of a burial as American Football was, it was clear that the writers do not like these self-checkout counters since if they did, they wouldn't have build comedy spots around it. Peppa getting trolled out thinking she beat the computer was also funny. It was the best of Series 3 so far. Balloons deserves high marks for it's so stupid, it's funny decision to have Miss Rabbit blow up one thousand balloons (proving that anthros are just as flawed as computers) in her own shop like an idiot. Mummy Pig was also dumb, but I think the one balloon was the balloon cake we saw at the garden party. They made the most out of these balloons. It probably would have been five stars if they did a better job with the race and for goodness sakes: GIVE US THE TWO MUMMIES TOGETHER, YOU COWARDS~! Celery Stick Falls was a great story about Mummy Pig overcoming her fear of splashing and loving flume rides. Train Robbery was basically "My imagination is better than your imagination" and it worked on that level as only Peppa Pig would use sparkly broccoli as currency. Hey, it's more secure than cryptocurrency and it's a ficitional currency. How awful does your curreny have to be when it's less robust than broccoli and torbits (The Idol Rich, TaleSpin)?! The rest was the usual middling to fun stuff as it's great that Penny Polar Bear is entering Peppa Pig Tales with one of her mummies, but I want the complete set, you cowards! Oh well, there's the mainline...Oh wait, the mainline is only available on Stack TV and I cannot see them until they come to the official Youtube channel a year to 18 months later. Aw, dang-it! So...

Thumbs up for Shopping Robot, Balloons, Train Robbery, and Celery Stick Falls; thumbs in the middle for the rest, and I'll see you all next time.

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